The Five Word Story Game

[Jimbuna]

and a nice pair of

[Reece]

limp sacks to trip over!! :dead::oops:

[Jimbuna]

not a very charming site

[Aktungbby]

...charming site:hmmm::timeout:....you mean 'place' or 'sight'?:doh:

[Jimbuna]

place/location

[Reece]

the flies were getting thick :oops::doh:

[Jimbuna]

in fact, thicker than mince

[Reece]

they were attracted to Aktungbby!! :oops::roll: :Kaleun_Sick:

[Aktungbby]

lying "flyblown in the dust":oops::dead:

[Jimbuna]

but then something amazing happened

[Reece]

MAGGOTS!! yes that's right, maggots!! :o:oops::dead:

[Aktungbby]

playing pinochle on my snout

[Reece]

then sliding into the mouth! :k_confused:

[Jimbuna]

of Reece whilst he slept

[Reece]

then spat them at Jim!! :O::oops:

[Aktungbby]

who swiftly rinsed with Pusser's!:arrgh!:

[Jimbuna]

and added them to curry

[Reece]

Hey!! save some for me!! :Kaleun_Salivating:

[Jimbuna]

said a quite effeminate voice

[Reece]

turned out to be Aktungbby!! :oops::oops:

[Jimbuna]

up to his old tricks

[Aktungbby]

:hmmm:...old 'tricks' being my girlfriends!:arrgh!::yep::shucks:

[Reece]

things are getting kinky now!! :dead::oops:

[Jimbuna]

best call the secret service

[Reece]

they confiscated Aktungs sex toys! :o:wah:

[Jimbuna]

and gave them to Reece

[Aktungbby]

:yep:...who couldn't afford the batteries:wah::roll::damn:

[Jimbuna]

making them totally, utterly useless

[Aktungbby]

...'putting paid to" good vibes:O:

[Reece]

Jim donated some - oh yeh!! :D:oops:

[Jimbuna]

a supreme act of benevolence

[Aktungbby]

in an ecstaticly electrifying moment

[Jimbuna]

there suddenly came to pass

[Aktungbby]

a lineout from the hooker https://weareallmadhere97.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/lawes_lineout_no_try.gif:smug:

[Jimbuna]

in a game of snooker

[Reece]

the balls were carefully placed

[Aktungbby]

by the chimney, with care:yeah:

[Jimbuna]

and a lot of determination

[Reece]

however things turned bad, Aktungbby

[Jimbuna]

lost one of his ears

[Aktungbby]

...the one with hearing aid!:oops::wah:

[Jimbuna]

was the only one left

[Aktungbby]

for someone on the goghhttps://media.newyorker.com/photos/590970b7c14b3c606c107e7e/master/pass/100104_r19185_p646.jpg...illustrated jus' so Reece getz the joke!:doh::arrgh!::shucks:

[Jimbuna]

he is a little slow

[Reece]

at eating his evening meal. :yep:

[Aktungbby]

without his hippopotamus ivory dentures

[Reece]

how did you know Aktungbby?? :o:timeout:

[blackswan40]

Aktungbby's a dentures massa-chewsets expert :shucks:

[Reece]

heard he chews the cud!! :yep:

[Jimbuna]

oh what a kinky thought

[Aktungbby]

heard he chews the cud!! :yep:

oh what a kinky thought:hmmm:...the concept is bovinely mooooving:shucks::Kaleun_Salivating:

[Jimbuna]

or something along those lines

[Aktungbby]

as usual, yer udderly insightfull!:yeah:

[Jimbuna]

well of course I am :O:

[Aktungbby]

the icecream for you then:https://images.ctfassets.net/j8tkpy1gjhi5/1Dg9r2dBent0NYLZHtCmw7/57570c61fc36b732a60fb2e2253289e2/BR22_48oz_Carton_UdderlyChocolate_Rndr_FNL.png?w=1 080&fm=webp&q=80:Kaleun_Salivating:

[Reece]

mmm, I'll take that Aktung!! :yep:

[Jimbuna]

I'd rather have a curry

[Reece]

now we're both happy, however

[blackswan40]

Swanny tried both Jim and

[Jimbuna]

the black cat next door

[Reece]

the black cat next door

attacked Aktungbby causing a rather

[Jimbuna]

nasty scar on his manhood

[Aktungbby]

...fortunately my womanhood remained unscathed:timeout::O::shucks:

[Jimbuna]

saved for yet another day

[Reece]

asking Jim for a date!! :dead:

[nikimcbee]

Chapter 96, Return of the

[Jimbuna]

one that couldn't keep quiet

[Aktungbby]

"Oh my god, not again!":D:shucks::arrgh!:

[Jimbuna]

never in a million years

[Aktungbby]

Einstein: "time is an illusion."

[Jimbuna]

but a reality for some

[Aktungbby]

...ie: oldage vs 'corporeal entropy':timeout::dead:

[Jimbuna]

is a mentally challenging point

[Aktungbby]

...oft accompanied with deathbed confessions:timeout:

[Reece]

Meanwhile Aktungbby took up dancing

[Aktungbby]

mambas, foxtrots, waltzes and chacha's:yeah:

[Jimbuna]

but failed at them all

[Reece]

so he took up sewing!! :88)

[Jimbuna]

and failed at that also

[Aktungbby]

so he took up sewing!! :88)

and failed at that also

my 'reaping' wasn't much better...:wah:

[Jimbuna]

well, better luck next time

[Aktungbby]

...indeed, I hate coming 'acropper'!

[blackswan40]

Certainty for crash test dummies :yep:

[Jimbuna]

a once only lifetime experience

[Aktungbby]

in Ospreys, F35's, and Sopwith-Camels

[Jimbuna]

they are usually high flyers

[Aktungbby]

except when gravity becomes grave

[Jimbuna]

except when gravtiy becomes grave

Best spell it like 'gravity'

[blackswan40]

Ask Santa for new keyboard :yep:

[Reece]

or clean set of fingers!! :yep:

[Aktungbby]

not possible with singleply TP:Kaleun_Sick:

[Reece]

Oh you are naughty but

[Jimbuna]

Reece continues to fancy you

[Raf1394]

But suddenly someone new appears

[Jimbuna]

from the left of centre

[Reece]

It's Jim, Aktungbby was happy!! :yep:

[Aktungbby]

...overflowing with light and joy

[Aktungbby]

But suddenly someone new appears

...lose all hope posting here! :o:k_confused::oops::shifty::dead:

[Jimbuna]

...overflowing with light and joy

fiddling with his latest toy

[Reece]

he discovered with cheesy grin!! :oops::oops::yep:

[Aktungbby]

using lithium batteries is hazardous

[Reece]

in certain toys Aktung used!! :D

[Aktungbby]

More like "uncertain" toys imho https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1mSYxTj5Exo

[Reece]

There goes his bike Jim!! :oops::wah:

[Jimbuna]

next will be his pram

[Reece]

next will be his pram

I hope Dolly gets out!! :oops::yep:

[Aktungbby]

...and her dam and sire!:yeah:

[Jimbuna]

probably more of a Chucky :)

[Reece]

yep!! there goes Aktung - AAAH!!:oops::k_confused:

[Jimbuna]

down into the wishing well

[Raf1394]

Trying to wish for a

[Aktungbby]

bathing in old Mayan cenote:ohttps://janetctkc.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/cenote1.png

[Jimbuna]

Been there and done that

[Aktungbby]

no doubt in good company!:O::yeah::Kaleun_Thumbs_Up:https://i.imgur.com/woVZoKv.jpg

[Jimbuna]

Oh yes :yep:

[Reece]

Now who took the picture?? :D

[Aktungbby]

a picador from the corrida!:yeah:

[Jimbuna]

Nope, a hooker I picked up in a bar earlier in the evening :O:

[Aktungbby]

a lineout from the hooker https://weareallmadhere97.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/lawes_lineout_no_try.gif:smug:

Nope, a hooker I picked up in a bar earlier in the evening :O::hmmm:...when U say "hooker"...smile friend!:o:arrgh!::shucks:

[Jimbuna]

Meanwhile down on the ranch

[Aktungbby]

pork and beans was served:Kaleun_Sick:https://media1.tenor.com/m/MrLt1tLXKFYAAAAd/blazing-saddles-eating.gif

[Jimbuna]

the gasses started to ferment

[blackswan40]

They soon reached critical mass :yep:

https://www.subsim.com/radioroom/picture.php?pictureid=12669&albumid=1223&dl=1690307902&thumb=1

[Reece]

Aktungbby's pants were filled - YUCKY!! :oops::doh:

[Aktungbby]

YUCKY!! :oops::doh:... DEPENDS on your view point! :timeout::yep::smug:

[Reece]

thankfully Swanny cleaned the mess!! :oops::yep:

[Jimbuna]

using his hands and tongue

[Reece]

strangely he enjoyed it Jim!! :hmmm:

[Jimbuna]

I thought that he would

[Raf1394]

But Swanny suddenly became very

[Jimbuna]

scared of the bogey man

[Aktungbby]

who doesn't wear any Depends

[Jimbuna]

other than on a weekend

[Aktungbby]

for those long football viewings

[Jimbuna]

whilst munching on hot curry

[Aktungbby]

thus creating "the straight poop":Kaleun_Sick:

[blackswan40]

Followed by a royal Flush :shucks:

[Reece]

and a sore backside, Swanny

[blackswan40]

Muddled vaseline and deepheat Jim :oops:

[Reece]

just looked up and sighed!!:doh::oops:

[Raf1394]

and started thinking about something

[Reece]

raunchy, he smiled and drooled :oops::oops:

[Jimbuna]

as Reece imitated the Grinch

[Reece]

bent over with a nasty

[Aktungbby]

case of green grinch blues

[Reece]

Jim held a Grinch party :yep::woot:

[Aktungbby]

...amazingly, everyone arrived on Tyne

[Reece]

but Aktungbby scuttled the boat

[Jimbuna]

going down with the ship

[Aktungbby]

and never heard from again:dead::Kaleun_Crying:

[Jimbuna]

that suited everyone just fine :)

[Reece]

something floated to the surface

[Aktungbby]

looking well gnawed and unsavory:Kaleun_Sick:

[Reece]

Yes it was Aktungbby, he

[Aktungbby]

was no longer a "he"

[Reece]

a shark bit off his

[Jimbuna]

last chance of getting away

[Aktungbby]

...or ever getting lucky again!:wah:

[Jimbuna]

By the power invested in

[Aktungbby]

procurement attained by illicit means

[Jimbuna]

was always a welcome plus

[Aktungbby]

as illgotten gains often are

[Jimbuna]

of the most welcome kind

[Aktungbby]

:hmmm:...particularly on New Years Eve:Kaleun_Party::()1::Kaleun_Cheers::yeah::arrgh! :

[Jimbuna]

whilst everyone else is sleeping

[Aktungbby]

with nary a creature stirring:Kaleun_Sleep:

[Jimbuna]

except those in the shadows

[Aktungbby]

in old socks still hung

[Jimbuna]

out to destroy the stench

[Aktungbby]

of Santa's Bahhumbugging the chimney https://i.postimg.cc/BnHLvv8y/artworks-000259521959-1we7qi-t500x500.jpg:O:

[Reece]

only Aktungbby could think that!! :doh::oops:

[Aktungbby]

:nope:inside joke:/\ jimbuna posted first!??

[Reece]

I should have realized - JIM!! :o:nope::hmph:

[Raf1394]

is imagining this year being...

[Jimbuna]

better than the last one

[Aktungbby]

but not quite as long

[Jimbuna]

as the one before that

[Aktungbby]

due to foreseeable unfortunate circumstances

[Reece]

That Jim gets himself into

[Raf1394]

And because of that he...

[Reece]

was sent to prison for

[Jimbuna]

a quick tour of duty

[Reece]

that became a lengthy stay!! :O:

[blackswan40]

On the lifers landing Jim :yep:

[Jimbuna]

ruled over all of them

[Aktungbby]

excelling in wicked soap-drop games

[Jimbuna]

left only to the imagination

[Aktungbby]

in prisions of the mind

[Jimbuna]

prisions?

[Aktungbby]

shades of Sailor Steve's ghost:arrgh!:

[Reece]

Aktungbby's gone over the edge!! :doh:

[Aktungbby]

with a bungee cord attached!:yeah:

[blackswan40]

Another off his bucket list :yep:

[Jimbuna]

A bucket full of slops.

[Reece]

fit for the pigsty - yummy!! :oops::dead:

[blackswan40]

Thats beyond the pale Jim :yep:

[Jimbuna]

You mean the pee one?

[blackswan40]

Or the sand fire bucket :D

[Reece]

Meanwhile Swanny tried eating a

[Aktungbby]

crow, then raven' 'bout it!

[Reece]

caw-caw is all we heard!! :D

[Aktungbby]

I heard one quothe "nevermore":yep::timeout:

[Reece]

then the sound of guns!! :k_confused:

[Jimbuna]

as thw bank robbers arrived

[Raf1394]

But they left without any...

[Jimbuna]

thought for the village people

[Reece]

strutting around with limp hands :oops::doh:

[Jimbuna]

no brain cells between them

[Aktungbby]

...'cause no brains at all!??

[Jimbuna]

and that is a fact

[Aktungbby]

...except for their lower ones:O:

[Reece]

I am truly shocked Aktungbby!! :o:timeout:

[Aktungbby]

...in this thread? :timeout: NUTHIN'S shockin':roll::hmph::shifty::nope:

[Reece]

excuse my bending over then!! :o:oops:

[Aktungbby]

....I pardon all "cheeky sods":O:

[Raf1394]

But they didn't pardon Aktungbby

[Reece]

he was severely punished by

[Aktungbby]

the Grand Poohbah of Tyne:oops::doh::dead:

[Reece]

being given a hard paddling

https://static.independent.co.uk/s3fs-public/thumbnails/image/2017/07/22/15/wesleyfryer.jpg

[Jimbuna]

without the need for cladding

[Aktungbby]

other than my hairy celicehttps://i.imgur.com/hIC899h.jpg

[Jimbuna]

looks like a used diaper

[Aktungbby]

for doing a proper penance

[Jimbuna]

just before the rain dance

[Reece]

then down it all came!! :o

[Otto Harkaman]

Shattered dreams beneath the rubble

[Aktungbby]

but resurrected for the Epiphany!:smug::yeah::shucks:

[Reece]

Aktungbby was a changed girl :oops::oops::doh:

[Jimbuna]

not a pretty one either

[Reece]

face like a twisted sandshoe!! :oops::doh:

[Jimbuna]

teeth like barbed wire fence

[Reece]

he/she lashed at Jim but

[Jimbuna]

the taser worked real fine

[Aktungbby]

'tasing aday keeps fleas away! :Kaleun_Salivating:

[Jimbuna]

and pests from the door

[Aktungbby]

...particularly the little pet door

[Reece]

where Aktungbby got stuck fast!! :o

[Aktungbby]

...'cause fast sticking's my specialty!:O::arrgh!::yep:https://media2.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExcXh6bDB6Nnl3NzExZDU5cGNlb2I1cWE 0YjV2NHZmZzltcTJ6ajY1diZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfY nlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/3orieZUPTiBWsiW0py/giphy.webp

[Reece]

Jim pushed him through - RIP!! :oops::o

[Jimbuna]

off came his soiled pants

[Aktungbby]

....on went his fresh Depends

[Jimbuna]

then the band began playing

[Aktungbby]

Nearer My God to Thee:Kaleun_Sick:

[Jimbuna]

and his little brass band

[Aktungbby]

went down with the ship

[Jimbuna]

and a sack of potatoes

[Raf1394]

Someone was hoping to sell.

[Reece]

all that remained was a

[Aktungbby]

floating life belt and oar

[Reece]

Aktungbby couldn't reach them so