This is the comment thread!

[Aktungbby]

So...how come the new 'more virulent strain' of Covid19 is'nt simply called Covid20?? :hmmm:

[Jimbuna]

I'm glad I don't have to hunt my own food, I don't even know where sandwiches live.

[Jimbuna]

Dear life, I understand very clearly that you are not fair so you can stop teaching me that lesson.

[Jimbuna]

Have you ever looked at someone and knew the wheel was turning, but the hamster fell off a long time ago?

[Von Due]

Dear life, I understand very clearly that you are not fair so you can stop teaching me that lesson.

The school of life is tough. First the exam, then the lessons.

[Jimbuna]

Today I was a hero. I rescued some beer that was trapped in a bottle.

[Rockstar]

"Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau."


Irving Fisher

9 days later the stock market crashed. He lost everything, his wealth, property and reputation.

[Jimbuna]

Kids, I don't know if our ceiling is the best ceiling... but it's definitely up there.

[Jimbuna]

Be strong, I whispered to my WiFi signal.

[Jimbuna]

I eat cake because it's someone's birthday somewhere today.

[Von Due]

I eat cake because it's someone's birthday somewhere today.

North Korean leader Kim Jong-un celebrated his birthday with a long wish-list of new weapons.

It included more accurate long-range missiles, super large warheads, spy satellites and a nuclear-powered submarine

Isn't that how everyone celebrate their birthdays?

[Jimbuna]

Just because I can't sing doesn't mean that I won't sing.

[Jimbuna]

If we ever travel far in the universe to another planet with intelligent life, let's just make patterns in their crops and leave.

[Jimbuna]

Ironing boards are surf boards that quit before achieving their dream. Don't be an ironing board.

[Jimbuna]

There are so many times I made you angry, upset, irritated and tired. Today I just wanted to say that I'm thinking of continuing.

[Jimbuna]

It takes real skills to choke on air, fall up the stairs and trip over nothing. I have those skills.

[Jimbuna]

Lazy people fact #2347827309018287. You were too lazy to read that number.

[Jimbuna]

I hate it when people text "Call me." I'm going to start calling people and as soon as they answer I'll say "text me," then hang up.

[Von Due]

A body at rest remains at rest unless it's kicked out of bed by its parents.

[Rockstar]

Ironing boards are surf boards that quit before achieving their dream. Don't be an ironing board.




Back in the day in Miami. When we got bored we used take our Miller Board out https://d1xwdusrophmb1.cloudfront.net/btm/265/260700.jpg hook it too the tow line and ride it behind one of these https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/e/ea/UTB-41.jpg/300px-UTB-41.jpg Miller Board, Surfboard same same. Good times were had by all.

[Jimbuna]

Be careful when you follow the masses. Sometimes the M is silent.

[Jimbuna]

If I had 10 cookies and you took half, do you know what you would have? That's right, a black eye and a broken hand.

[Commander Wallace]

If I had 10 cookies and you took half, do you know what you would have? That's right, a black eye and a broken hand.




:k_rofl::k_rofl:

[vienna]

Be careful when you follow the masses. Sometimes the M is silent.


Truer words,...




<O>

[Jimbuna]

If I'm silent it's because there's thunder inside me. Or I'm just chilling, may the odds be in your favour.

[Jimbuna]

Why is Monday so far from Friday, and Friday so close to Monday?

[mapuc]

^ Must be one of life's unsolved mysteries

Markus

[Jimbuna]

It's alright if you don't agree with me... I can't force you to be right.

[Jimbuna]

You never know what you have, until you clean your closet.

[vienna]

Oh, look! There at the bottom...

...the Comment Thread...

...I knew it was there somewhere...




<O>

[Jimbuna]

I might wake up early and do some exercise, or I might win the lotto, the odds are the same.

[Jimbuna]

The only thing you have to fear is fear itself... and spiders.

[Jimbuna]

Alcohol doesn't make you fat, it makes you lean... against tables, chairs and walls.

[vienna]

I do not have a drinking problem...

I drink, I get drunk...

I get drunk, I fall down...

I fall down, I fall asleep...

No problem...




<O>

[Jimbuna]

I have a new hair style today, it's called "I tried."

[Jimbuna]

Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring so I go back to being myself.

[Jimbuna]

Have some patience, I'm screwing things up as fast as possible.

[Jimbuna]

Do you ever go out, and then something happens and you think to yourself 'this is exactly why I don't go out'?

[vienna]

That is exactly why I don't read comments...





<O>

[Jimbuna]

I made a huge to do list for today. I just can't figure out who's going to do it.

[mapuc]

Are we real, even when we have the possibility to think ?

I think-therefore I'am ?

Markus

[vienna]

I think, therefore, I am.... I think... :hmmm:




<O>

[Catfish]

re Covid: Rich people telling us we put the economy in danger.

[Jimbuna]

Have some patience, I'm screwing things up as fast as possible.

[Jimbuna]

Do you ever go out, and then something happens and you think to yourself 'this is exactly why I don't go out'?

[Jimbuna]

I made a huge to do list for today. I just can't figure out who's going to do it.

[Jimbuna]

Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring so I go back to being myself.

[Jimbuna]

Hmmm this text message is a little too harsh, I'll add LOL at the end.

[Von Due]

A Swede received a speeding ticked while driving in Switzerland at 290 km/h. The fine was 3600 Swiss Franc, more than 4000 USD. Going faster than light would give him a 14.9 billion USD fine. Clearly that would break the very fabric of economic reality and this is why we can't go faster than light.

[Jimbuna]

I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. "Alright, get in the basket."

[Catfish]

[...] and this is why we can't go faster than light.
Perfect! :har:

[Von Due]

My family must love me. For my birthday I was given a gift certificate for a wingsuit BASE jump crash course.

[Aktungbby]

/\ Try the bungee-cord concession I proposed opening during my Golden Gate Bridge security interview to "let 'em try it once":o :oops::dead:I knew immediately I was in real trouble; amused by my barracks humor, they were gonna give me the job! But there's nothing humorous about the weather at Hells' Gate in the winter at at 02:00 AM-the new-guy shift...I declined the second interview!

[Von Due]

/\ Try the bungee-cord concession I proposed opening during my Golden Gate Bridge security interview to "let 'em try it once":o :oops::dead:I knew immediately I was in real trouble; amused, they were gonna give me the job!

Brilliant! Oh, there is so much one can do with bungee chords. At this amusement park they had this catapultoid contraption with the seat secured to the ground while the chord was tightened by a crane. Release the seat and the thrill seekers were shot upwards. Now I propose that is now old news and thrill seekers need new kicks so: Invert it. Have the chord secured to the ground while the seats are hoisted by crane.

[Jimbuna]

I miss the days when you could just push someone in the swimming pool without worrying about their cell phone.

[mapuc]

Your physical body is nothing but a slave

Markus

[Catfish]

^ I disagree.

[mapuc]

^ I disagree.

To your brain, which is the master of your body. The body fulfill the need of the desire your brain may have.

Markus

[Catfish]

"The brain is the body's most important thing."
This is what your brain tells you.
The brain is part of your body, and a late bloomer in evolution.
Since german is my first language, is the word "begreifen" similar to a danish/swedish word, when it comes to learning? The brain and learning is nothing without sensual input and sensorics.

I am just pulling your nose of course, i understand what you mean. But it may not be as it seems. Perception of "reality" is a multi-sided sword.

[Aktungbby]

To your brain, which is the master of your body. The body fulfill the need of the desire your brain may have.

Markus U idiot!:03: that is controlled by the lower brain!
https://s3.amazonaws.com/lowres.cartoonstock.com/men-x_rays-x_rayed-brains-man-masculine-bro0008_low.jpg

[mapuc]

^ :har::har:

Markus

[Jimbuna]

They say "don't try this at home" so I'm coming over to your house to try it.

[mapuc]

if you look up the word unmusical in a dictionary, you will find a picture of me.

Markus

[Jimbuna]

I'm not running away from hard work, I'm too lazy to run.

[Jimbuna]

Dear humans, in case you forgot, I used to be your Internet. Sincerely, The Library.

[vienna]

To your brain, which is the master of your body. The body fulfill the need of the desire your brain may have.

Markus


An old joke...




The Most Important Body Part

One day the different parts of the body were having an argument to see which should be in charge.

The brain said "I do all the thinking so I'm the most important and I should be in charge."

The eyes said "I see everything and let the rest of you know where we are, so I'm the most important and I should be in charge."

The hands said "Without me we wouldn't be able to pick anything up or move anything. So I'm the most important and I should be in charge."

The stomach said "I turn the food we eat into energy for the rest of you. Without me, we'd starve. So I'm the most important and I should be in charge."

The legs said "Without me we wouldn't be able to move anywhere. So I'm the most important and I should be in charge."

Then the rectum said "I think I should be in charge."

All the rest of the parts said "YOU? You don't do anything! You're not important! You can't be in charge."

So the rectum closed up. After a few days, the legs were all wobbly, the stomach was all queasy, the hands were all shaky, the eyes were all watery, and the brain was all cloudy.

They all agreed that they couldn't take any more of this and agreed to put the rectum in charge.

The moral of the story: You don't have to be the most important to be in charge, just an *******







<O>

[Jimbuna]

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

[mapuc]

Forgetting to zip up is better than forgetting to zip down

Markus

[Jimbuna]

Never wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, and the pig likes it.

[Jimbuna]

If you keep annoying me, I'll give your phone number to all the kids and tell them it's Santa's hotline.

[Jimbuna]

Dear automatic flushing toilet... I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I wasn't done yet.

[Von Due]

There are 2 steps on the way to success:
1. Never reveal everything

[Jimbuna]

Paper cut: A tree's final moment of revenge.

[Jimbuna]

I'd walk through fire for my best friend. Well, not fire because that's dangerous. But a super humid room... well not too humid, because you know... my hair.

[Jimbuna]

Marriage is like a walk in the park... Jurrasic Park.

[Von Due]

Marriage is like a walk in the park... Jurrasic Park.

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

[Aktungbby]

In Spanish, the word esposa means 'wife' & 'handcuff' YIPES! :hmmm: when it comes to domestic bickering with my enamorata(40 years)...no wonder "my hands are tied"!:o:oops::oops:

[Jimbuna]

I know I'm a handful, but that's why you have two hands.

[Jimbuna]

Of course I talk to myself... sometimes I need expert advice.

[Von Due]

Sudoku is a search for naked singles.

[Jimbuna]

Yes of course I am athletic... I surf the Internet every day.

[Jimbuna]

I'm not weird, I'm just limited edition.

[Jimbuna]

I drank so much Vodka last night that this morning I woke up with a Russian accent.

[mapuc]

My mouth and brain isn't exactly synchronous-Brain does not connect before speak.

Markus

[Jimbuna]

If Monday had a face... I would punch it.

[Jimbuna]

I really should do something with my life... maybe tomorrow.

[Jimbuna]

Some days I wish I had the wisdom of a 90 year old, the body of a 20 year old, and the energy of a 3 year old.

[Von Due]

Some people pay all their attention to what they themselves have to say and not to what others have to say. Why? Are they expecting themselves to say something unexpected or something they didn't already know?

[Jimbuna]

Smiles are contagious... be a carrier.

[Catfish]

"If i did not know about god and sin, would i go to hell?"

Priest: "Not if you did not know."

"Then why did you tell me?"

[Jimbuna]

To thrive in life you need three bones. A wish bone, a back bone, and a funny bone.

[Von Due]

How to cook crack and clean a crab.

Step 1: Use a comma.

[ET2SN]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cY0RiGvHOTQ


:k_confused:

[Jimbuna]

Every weekend I do what I love most, absolutely nothing!

[Jimbuna]

I tried looking at the bright side of life, but it hurt my eyes.

[Catfish]

Texans: "We want a free, unregulated capitalist government!!!"
ERCOT: "OK, here's a $17,000 power bill"
Texans: "Wait.. not like that"

[Jimbuna]

Please cancel my subscription to your issues.

[mapuc]

Last summer I heard a German couple on the bus.

Schatz, ich denke wir sollten vorne sitzen

Hearing this I almost said.

Ja sitzen sie am zehn vorne

Markus

[Catfish]

^ I do not quite understand this :)

[mapuc]

^ I do not quite understand this :)

In Star Trek The Next Generation the ship had a section where the crew could have a beer a.s.o.(a kind of a restaurant)

Among the crew it was called Ten forward = Zehn vorne

When I saw the series many years ago on SAT 1 they called it in German Zehn vorne.

Markus

[Catfish]

In Star Trek The Next Generation the ship had a section where the crew could have a beer a.s.o.(a kind of a restaurant)
Among the crew it was called Ten forward = Zehn vorne
When I saw the series many years ago on SAT 1 they called it in German Zehn vorne.
Markus
Well done! Thanks :):up:

[Jimbuna]

I'm a Nillionaire. I have little to no money!

[Jimbuna]

Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they'll start using it.

[Von Due]

Just like shooting fish in a barrel, they said. Now I lost the gun into the barrel, the fish now have a gun and I'm worried.

[Jimbuna]

Square box, round pizza, triangle slices, now that's confusing.

[Jimbuna]

Never judge a book by it's movie.

[Catfish]

How would Americans feel if other countries did airstrikes to take out terrorists in the USA, and wrote of bystander deaths as morally acceptable collateral damage?

[Jimbuna]

I hate mosquitoes. I mean, I know I am delicious, but I don't give out free samples.

[Catfish]

Ethics change with technology.

[Jimbuna]

Isn't it funny how red white and blue represent freedom, unless they're flashing behind you?

[mapuc]

This message can only be read by those who has no common sense.

Please quote it if you can read it.

Markus

[Catfish]

This message can only be read by those who have no common sense.
Please quote it if you can read it.
Markus
Corrected. :O:

[Jimbuna]

Exercise? I thought you said extra fries!

[Jimbuna]

Bought a talking parrot today and taught him to say "Help, I've been turned into a parrot."

[mapuc]

Didn't know where to put this, ´cause I don't want to start a new thread and I don't want to dig up an old thread about this subject

When I saw this item I came to think of our friend Skybird.

https://www.noblecollection.com/Item--i-CSS-ST-1525

Markus

[Von Due]

Captain America's costume reveals his secret identity. He is Captain Liberia.

[Jimbuna]

I did a push-up today. Well actually I fell down, but I had to use my arms to get back up, so close enough.

[mapuc]

The other day I pretended to be asleep. I fell asleep. Now I try to pretend I'm thin...

Markus

[Jimbuna]

What's best way to build upper arm strength? Take lots of selfies.

[mapuc]

Men use mph / km/h as a reference to how fast they go.
Women on the other hand use:
SPH(Spendings Per Hours)

Markus

[Jimbuna]

How do I like my eggs? In a cake.

[Jimbuna]

Sometimes I get road rage just pushing a shopping cart in a supermarket.

[mapuc]

^ Wouldn't the correct term for this be

Shop rage

Markus

[Jimbuna]

Pushing a four wheeled trolley is akin to driving a car as far as I'm aware.

[Jimbuna]

I'm going to stand outside, so if anybody asks for me, I'm outstanding.

[Jimbuna]

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.

[mapuc]

A well known phrase seen from a megalomania persons perspective.

I think therefore you are

Markus

[Catfish]

""We should pin all the bad and debts in the world to one person, and then kill him."

"Congratulations, you just invented christianity."

[Jimbuna]

Dear LOL, thank you for being there for me all those times I never had something else to say.

[Moonlight]

"We should pin all the bad and debts in the world to one person, and then kill him."

Just let the bankers select one of their own as we don't want to kill anyone whose innocent. :O:

[Jimbuna]

The chains on my mood swing just snapped. Run!

[mapuc]

When i came into the world my father went blind........................

I have his eyes-that's why

Markus

[Jimbuna]

Chocolate is great, it gives you energy which can be used to go buy more chocolate.

[Jimbuna]

I bet you anything that I can stop gambling right now.

[Catfish]

Boeing is the abbreviation of
"Bits of engines in neighbour's garden"

Dreamliner (https://imgur.com/gallery/HATQeLM)

[Jimbuna]

All you have to know about celery is that it's made up of 95% water, and it's 100% not pizza.

[Jimbuna]

A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off.

[Jimbuna]

Isn't it funny that the number 2 pencil is the most popular?

[Jimbuna]

You can stop driving me crazy, I can walk from here.

[Jimbuna]

I just got off a flight that crossed through five time zones. Does that make me a time traveller?

[Jimbuna]

If you're hotter than me, then that means I'm cooler than you.

[Jimbuna]

I don't know how to act my age because I've never been this old before.

[Jimbuna]

I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

[mapuc]

Sometimes I see a thing in Stereo and sometimes I see two things in mono.

Markus

[Catfish]

If we implement artificial intelligence in drones, could they develop a fear of flying?

[Jimbuna]

My cell phone is acting up, I keep pressing the home button but when I look around, I'm still at work.

[Jimbuna]

I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle.

[Catfish]

If you don't educate the citizenry, you'll rule a country of idiots.
Quote: "I love the poorly educated".

[Jimbuna]

Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive.

[Jimbuna]

I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

[Jimbuna]

Life is too short to worry about matching socks.

[mapuc]

If we take a look at the history of the Internet and what many have used it for, we can most likely predict what a Holodeck would be used for.

Markus

[Catfish]

^ this is a scary thought :oops:

[Eichhörnchen]

13 year-olds today are suffering from "relationship stress". At that age I was closing the fridge door slowly to see when the light went out

[Jimbuna]

Your idea is completely terrible... so what time shall we do it?

[Jimbuna]

What do I do for a living? I breathe in and out.

[Jimbuna]

I need a timeout. Send me to the beach and don't let me come back until I change my attitude.

[mapuc]

I refuse to play games with others, where you can hurt your opponent-in the game.

Markus

[mapuc]

I'm the tinfoil hat in all the conspiracy who exist.

Markus

[Jimbuna]

Life is always rocky when you're a gem.

[Jimbuna]

Does anyone else have plastic bags full of plastic bags or is it just me?

[Jimbuna]

Why do they call it beauty sleep when you wake up looking terrible?

[mapuc]

Should I or should I not saw a seed in some of the conspiracy forums

A seed telling them that government around the world has found a way to get through these tinfoil hats, by melting NANO-strings into this tinfoil.

These NANO-strings is a two ways transmitter-collecting brainwaves and sending manipulated brainwaves.

Markus

[Catfish]

Please don't pick on older children for still believing in the Easter Bunny.

I know adults who still believe corporate tax cuts create jobs.

[Jimbuna]

Never trust someone who takes hours to text you back, but when you hang out with them they check their phone every minute.

[Jimbuna]

My room is like the Bermuda triangle, stuff goes in and is never seen again.

[Jimbuna]

I thought about losing weight once, but I don't like losing.

[Catfish]

3 of the hardest things for people to say:


"I was wrong."

"I need help."

"Worcestershire sauce."

[Jimbuna]

Work is just something I'm doing until I win the lottery.

[Jimbuna]

If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge?

[ET2SN]

"Worcestershire sauce."[/I]

"Lea and Perrins". Nothing to it. :Kaleun_Thumbs_Up:

[Catfish]

^ the one and only :up:



Difference between a literalist and a kleptomaniac ?

A literalist takes things literally.
A cleptomaniac takes things, literally.

[Jimbuna]

Got a new phone today, my old one failed the swimming test.

[Jimbuna]

It may look like I'm doing nothing, but in my head I'm quite busy.

[Jimbuna]

I love my six pack so much, I protect is with a layer of fat.

[Jimbuna]

Don't give up on your dreams so soon, sleep longer.

[mapuc]

^ Easy for you to say

Getting the first 2 out of 5 numbers in the following eurojackpot drawings and then you wake, because your toilet is thirsty and after you fall asleep again...another dream appear.

Markus

[Catfish]

^ :haha:




Texas is known as the lone star state
because that is what its power grid is ranked
compared to the rest of the country.

[Jimbuna]

I didn't mean to push all your buttons, I was just looking for the mute button.

[mapuc]

When I have high thoughts about myself I do it in third person.
No need to boast.

Markus

[Jimbuna]

I wish my wallet came with free refills.

[Jimbuna]

I noticed you are not noticing me.

[Jimbuna]

If you can't laugh at your own problems, call me and I'll laugh at them.

[Jimbuna]

As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.

[Jimbuna]

I was thinking of getting a German Shepherd once, but I didn't want to learn another language just to have a dog.

[Jimbuna]

My boss is like a baby, screams and wakes me up every half hour.

[Jimbuna]

Pros and cons for making food: Pro: Food. Con: Making.

[Jimbuna]

I wanted to make a clever chemistry joke, but the best ones argon.

[Jimbuna]

The only relationship I have is with my Wi-Fi. We have a connection.

[Catfish]

I hope the inventor of autocorrect burns in Hello!

[Jimbuna]

My goal this weekend is to move... just enough so people don't think I'm dead.

[Jimbuna]

My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it.

[Jimbuna]

I don't like morning people... or mornings, or people.

[Aktungbby]

I have often come to a crossroads and taken the path less travelled by...and felt myself well forked indeed.

[Catfish]

Maybe birds are secretly drones that recharge on power lines.

[Jimbuna]

A UFO!? Quick, grab the worst camera we own.

[Catfish]

Is there life on Mars?

Biologists found bacteria on those chocolate bars.

[Jimbuna]

Never ask a starfish for directions.

[Jeff-Groves]

Eating fake meat is like masturbating.
You may satisfy the hunger but it's nothing like the real thing.

[Jimbuna]

When nothing is going right, go left.

[mapuc]

And I who thought that on the Right nothing is left and on the left nothing is right.

Markus

[Jimbuna]

Make yourself at home... clean my kitchen.

[Jimbuna]

Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food.

[Von Due]

If only the people of Myanmar could understand that the army enjoy the undying, undivided and unquestionable love, admiration and support of the people of Myanmar for their army.

[Catfish]

It is all agreat misunderstanding, the dear leaders of the world only ever want your best: freedom, individuality, and money :O:

[Jimbuna]

Love is like a tornado, picks you up off your feet and sometimes takes half your house.

[Jimbuna]

Stop destroying the Earth, it's where I keep all my stuff.

[Jimbuna]

Silence is golden, unless you have kids, then silence is just plain suspicious.

[Jimbuna]

Retirement is when you stop living at work, and start working at living.

[Jimbuna]

Never let your best friends get lonely... keep disturbing them.

[Jimbuna]

Marriage is like a hot bath, once you get used to it it's not so hot any more.

[Jimbuna]

Maybe there are no excuses to be lazy, but I'm still going to keep looking.

[nikimcbee]

Jim, did you buy a bag of fortune cookies? lol


Anybody seen Steed?


https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fs-i.huffpost.com%2Fgen%2F2442110%2Fimages%2Fo-FORTUNE-COOKIE-RESOLUTIONS-facebook.jpg&f=1&nofb=1

[Jimbuna]

Jim, did you buy a bag of fortune cookies? lol


Anybody seen Steed?


https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fs-i.huffpost.com%2Fgen%2F2442110%2Fimages%2Fo-FORTUNE-COOKIE-RESOLUTIONS-facebook.jpg&f=1&nofb=1

This is what mine read like.

https://i.postimg.cc/SxpvYhv9/1-jpegee44ff212cea7965fa72c357b8eca7e1.jpg (https://postimages.org/)

[mapuc]

When it comes to the development in society and politics I'm glad I have 20-30 left of my life.

When it comes the univers and the futuristic technology progress I wish I could live forever.

Markus

[Jimbuna]

If nothing is impossible is it possible for something to be impossible?

[Jimbuna]

I had an extremely busy day, converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.

[Jimbuna]

You know you are lazy when you get excited about cancelling your plans.

[mapuc]

Our luck and how much we have isn't written in the stars

It is written in the Quantum Mechanics.

Markus

[Jimbuna]

Learning a foreign language is pointless, I’m not even allowed to talk to strangers.

[Jimbuna]

Me and my bed are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up.

[mapuc]

If you see me talking to myself, just move on...
I am self-employed...
We have a board meeting

Markus

[Jimbuna]

When you put a bed in your bedroom – you have less bedroom.

[Jimbuna]

In spring birds return from their tropical vacation. Six months later they regret their decision and go back.

[Jimbuna]

Taking a shower is awesome, it makes you feel nice and clean, makes you sound like a great singer, and helps you make all of life's decisions.

[mapuc]

The left wing is a bunch of hypocrites

Markus

[Catfish]

Humans are a bunch of hypocrites

[mapuc]

Humans are a bunch of hypocrites

Very true

Markus

[Eisenwurst]

Pepsi.......for when there's no Coke.

[Sean C]

I've never tried snorting Pepsi. :hmmm:

[Jimbuna]

Everything happening now happens because of everything that has happened before.

[Jimbuna]

Minimum wage is like work enthusiasm, it disappears quickly.

[Jimbuna]

Sometimes the best part of my job is that my chair swivels.

[mapuc]

If I should get a job at some automatic door company

I would insert a voice in these doors.

A man's voice with a very depressed attitude.

"-So you want me to open the door for you ? You think life is great don't you. No one is thinking about my problems...."

Markus

[Eisenwurst]

"Bill Posters will be prosecuted".......poor Bill, they've been after him for years.

[Jimbuna]

My boss asked me where I see myself in 5 years. I told him if his hair keeps falling out, I'll see myself in his bald spot.

[Rockstar]

If the government is covering up knowledge of aliens, they are doing a better job of it than they do at anything else.
Stephen Hawking

[Catfish]

Reason the CIA wasn't involved in Kennedy's death?

Kennedy's dead.

[Jimbuna]

Got to work this morning and my boss told me 'have a good day', so I went home and had a great day!

[Jimbuna]

I'm not arguing, I'm just telling you why you're wrong.

[Jimbuna]

I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.

[mapuc]

Paste from our thread this date in history

"1849 Lincoln says "You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time." "

He forgot the voters.

Fool me once-shame on you, fool me twice shame on me...fool me once again ....I'll vote for you(if you are a politician)

Markus

[Jimbuna]

If only common sense were more common.

[mapuc]

It happens that I only "Mark this forum read" when I visit GT.

Markus

[Jimbuna]

Always follow your heart, but remember to bring your brain along.

[Jimbuna]

With great power comes an even greater electricity bill.

[Jimbuna]

Life always offers you a second chance. It's called tomorrow.

[Jimbuna]

My silence spoke a thousand words, but you never heard them.

[Von Due]

After a video of a large fish in Norwegian waters have whipped up a negligable storm, I am thrilled to see the rumor mill agrees with what the rest of us already knew, that basking sharks are, in fact, real.

[Jimbuna]

My imaginary friend thinks he has problems.