This is the comment thread!

[Jimbuna]

Life is not about how you survive the storm, it's about how you dance in the rain.

[Aktungbby]

"and BBY the rain must fall"

[Jimbuna]

The surest sign that there's intelligent life elsewhere in the universe, is that it has never contacted us.

[Jimbuna]

I can make the doorbell ring any time I want, all I have to do is go to the bathroom.

[Eichhörnchen]

https://i.imgur.com/nnoBksu.jpg

[Jimbuna]

There's life without Facebook and Internet? Really? Send me the link.

[STEED]

https://i.imgur.com/nnoBksu.jpg:haha: :haha:

[Jimbuna]

Some relationships are like Tom and Jerry, they argue and disagree all the time, but they still can't live without each other.

[Jimbuna]

Do you think there’s no good news about having Alzheimer's?

You can buy and wrap your own surprise presents. Plus you are constantly making new friends.

[Jimbuna]

I took my mother-in-law out yesterday morning.

Being a sniper is awesome.

[Jimbuna]

For the best seat in the house, you'll have to move the dog.

[Jimbuna]

I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status.

[Jimbuna]

The decision to decide is a decision in itself.

[Aktungbby]

the decision not to decide is therefore decisive indecision...my specialty!:D

[vienna]

I took my mother-in-law out yesterday morning.

Being a sniper is awesome.


"I bought my mother-in-law a new chair...

..but my wife won't let me plug it in..."...

Milton Berle








<O>

[Jimbuna]

A horse is dangerous at both ends, and uncomfortable in the middle.

[Jimbuna]

Living on earth may be tough, but it includes a free ride around the sun every year.

[Jimbuna]

Don't drink to forget me, you'll end up seeing me double.

[Jimbuna]

I wake up looking better every day, but today I'm exaggerating.

[Eichhörnchen]

Did you know that if you rearrange the vowels in Robocop you get Robocop?

[Aktungbby]

it's the same wth 'pocobor':arrgh!:

[Jimbuna]

The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television.

[Jimbuna]

God created childbirth to give women the chance to experience what it's like for a guy to catch a cold.

[Jimbuna]

Some minds are like concrete, thoroughly mixed and permanently set.

[Jimbuna]

Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it's a brighter day.

[Jimbuna]

I never apologize. I’m sorry, but that’s just the way I am.

[Jimbuna]

Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me. It means a lot.

[Jimbuna]

The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep!

[Jimbuna]

If you're all wrapped up in yourself then you are overdressed.

[Aktungbby]

/\Generally in a...Tuxego !:O:

[Jimbuna]

A good friend is like a bra: hard to find one you're comfortable with, always provides support, holds you tight and is always close to your heart.

[vienna]

I don't like morning people...


...or morning...


...or people...





<O>

[Jimbuna]

Those who think they know it all are very annoying to those of us who actually do.

[Jimbuna]

I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor.

[Jimbuna]

I lost control. Offering reward to anyone who finds it.

[Jimbuna]

I get enough exercise just by pushing my luck!

[STEED]

The truth tells me 2020 will be just another year to forget and so on. :03:

[Jimbuna]

I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.

[mapuc]

A voter demands no responsiblity during an election
but demand the right to protest the result and the action of the elected politicians

[mapuc]

Mighty got bitten by snake bite

[Catfish]

Who is Mighty?
Or was i a mighty bite ?
:hmmm:

Which snakes do you have, in Denmark?

[mapuc]

Who is Mighty?
Or was i a mighty bite ?
:hmmm:

Which snakes do you have, in Denmark?

Mighty or Mighty Mike or his real name Micheal Van Gerven, is the best Dart player in the world. In todays world cup final he lost against Peter Wright aka Snake bite.

Markus

[Catfish]

:dead: Ok hit and sunk :) :up:

[Jimbuna]

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

[Eichhörnchen]

Got a nice card from Onkel Neal today. I've told him to keep the money for Subsim (postage is so high now) but will he listen??

[Aktungbby]

/\the one with HMS Victory(my old sig!) falling off the edge of the world?:Kaleun_Thumbs_Up:

[Catfish]

this ship is not one of the line.. so no Victory for ya ;)

[Eichhörnchen]

/\the one with HMS Victory(my old sig!) falling off the edge of the world?:Kaleun_Thumbs_Up:

Yes

[Jimbuna]

You can't have everything... where would you put it?

[Jimbuna]

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.

[Jimbuna]

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.

[Jimbuna]

A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it is not open.

[Jimbuna]

It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. They're in front of you in the supermarket express lane.

[Jimbuna]

Why cry for someone when you can laugh next to someone else?

[Eisenwurst]

Hot Cross Buns are out in supermarkets already down here ( Australia ) . People actually complained that they weren't available for Christmas, so to keep things calm the shops brought them out just in time for Christmas.

Heathens.

[Eichhörnchen]

What can you do?

[Jimbuna]

When the past comes knocking, don't answer. It has nothing new to tell you.

[Aktungbby]

AMAZING!: President Trump complains about the number of times people flush their modern toilets! High praise from Mighty Caesar... errr a 'four-flusher' in his-own-right inho!:timeout:

[Aktungbby]

Hot Cross Buns are out in supermarkets already down here ( Australia ) . People actually complained that they weren't available for Christmas, so to keep things calm the shops brought them out just in time for Christmas.

Heathens.

What can you do? :Kaleun_Salivating:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-RSIIu0WWcM (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-RSIIu0WWcM)

[Jimbuna]

Hate your job? Join our support group! It’s called EVERYBODY. We meet at the bar.

[Jimbuna]

I don't need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.

[Jimbuna]

Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk past again?

[Jimbuna]

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.

[Eisenwurst]

Yay. I made the bigtime. Got my name up in lights. :)

[Jimbuna]

Alcohol, what's that? It's not in my vodkabulary, but let me check in whiskypedia.

[Jimbuna]

My advice is to never listen to any advice, not even this one.

[Jimbuna]

He who wakes up early, yawns all day long.

[Aktungbby]

He who wakes up early, yawns all day long.handy for morning dental appointments!:O:

[Jimbuna]

Life doesn't have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes.

[Jimbuna]

Your face makes onions cry.

[Jimbuna]

I changed my password everywhere to 'incorrect.' That way when I forget it, it always reminds me, 'Your password is incorrect.'

[Jimbuna]

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

[Jimbuna]

Your bank account can be overdrawn, but it can never be overfilled.

[Eichhörnchen]

YOUR ALCOHOLIC NAME IS:


YOUR FIRST NAME
+
YOUR SECOND NAME

[Jimbuna]

Don't worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet.

[Jimbuna]

If you lose one sense, your other senses become enhanced.
This is why people with no sense of humour have an increased sense of self-importance.

[Jimbuna]

If people are talking behind your back, be happy that you are the one in front.

[Jimbuna]

When I die, I’d like the word ‘Humble’ to be written in diamonds on my 20ft statue made from solid gold.

[Jimbuna]

If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog.

[Jimbuna]

Yesterday I did nothing and today I'm finishing what I did yesterday.

[Jimbuna]

Let's have a beer together, you can open it and I will drink it.

[Jimbuna]

Women love a man brimming with confidence. Because, without that, what’s left to destroy?

[Jimbuna]

Studying means 10% reading and 90% complaining to your friends that you have to study.

[Jimbuna]

Laughter is like a windshield wiper, it doesn't stop the rain but allows us to keep going.

[Jimbuna]

When you fall, I will be there to catch you - With love, the floor.

[Catfish]

The human race has become a plague upon this earth.

[Eisenwurst]

The human race has become a plague upon this earth.


Cheer up mate, we're not all bad. :)

[Aktungbby]

:agree::yep:some of us just engage in 'skull duggery' from time to time!:D

[Jimbuna]

Those who snore always fall asleep first.

[Catfish]

I just realized we have no bat-s...t-crazy-link thread, but it may fit in here.

https://www.space.com/40083-flat-earther-mike-hughes-launches-homemade-rocket.html

[Aktungbby]

I just realized we have no bat-s...t-crazy-link thread, but it may fit in here.

https://www.space.com/40083-flat-earther-mike-hughes-launches-homemade-rocket.htmlI humbly disagree as to the level of bats...tness. attributable to a lunatic who launches himself yet has considered having two parachutes and cooly deployed both to achieve the first rule of aeronatical endeavor: ANY LANDING U WALK AWAY FROM IS A GOOD ONE....:rock::/\\!! Having found myself in precarious touchdowns in Cessna 172's I doff my sombrero to his over-sized cajones! And, considering today is the anniversary of the Columbia disaster which had no shuttle escape plan: learning from 7 others mistake is better than learning from your own painsavings-wise! :Kaleun_Wink:

[Jeff-Groves]

The human race has become a plague upon this earth.

Nothing a few well placed Neutron Bombs can't solve.

[Jimbuna]

I'm looking to buy a new boomerang, how can I throw the old one out?

[Jimbuna]

If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman; she will be all ears.

[Jimbuna]

There is no better moment to postpone something you don't want to do other than right now.

[Aktungbby]

/\ but if "time is an illusion"-Einstein...then there is no 'right now'?!! https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/8/86/Einstein_tongue.jpg/220px-Einstein_tongue.jpg (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Einstein_tongue.jpg)

[Jimbuna]

It's really complicated to make something simple, but very simple to make something something complicated.

[mapuc]

Never postpone the desire to eat candy og cakes to the next day.

[Jimbuna]

No matter how smart you are you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid.

[mapuc]

Seems like the good old Transatlantic cruise, where you sail from Hamburg/Amsterdam to New York and back to same harbour, does not exist anymore.

Markus

[Catfish]

No matter how smart you are you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid.
Maybe you can, but only for a second.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvVPdyYeaQU

He is not sarcastic, not even really funny :yep:

[Jimbuna]

My doctor prescribed laughter as the most efficient medicine. Unfortunately the pharmacist said too many people were crying from laughter so it's no longer available.

[Jimbuna]

All of us light up a room, some when they enter, others when they leave.

[Jimbuna]

If money is the root of all evil why do they always ask for it in church?

[Jimbuna]

I'm trying to think how I can think of what I want to think.

[Aktungbby]

/\ARICEPT BBY!:yeah:

[Jimbuna]

What great energy, intelligence, and magnificent beautiful eyes... But enough about me, how are you doing?

[Jimbuna]

In the morning I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the evening I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the night I can't sleep.. I'm so hungry!

[Jimbuna]

How do you know a man is thinking about his future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

[Jimbuna]

Your mind needs exercise just as much as your body does, that's why I think of jogging every day.

[Jimbuna]

I often say to myself, “I can’t believe that cloning machine worked!”

[Jimbuna]

In my house dirty dishes are like rabbits, they keep multiplying.

[Jimbuna]

Are orphans allowed to watch PG movies?

[Jimbuna]

Long time ago I used to have a life, until someone told me to create a Facebook account.

[mapuc]

I have a life-computer, incl internet, FB and other pages are not in charge of my life.

Markus

[Jimbuna]

If you think patience is a virtue, try surfing the net without high speed Internet.

[Jimbuna]

If we were on a sinking ship, and there was only one life vest... I would miss you so much.

[Jimbuna]

I don't work on weekends, or any other day that ends with "Y".

[Jimbuna]

An expert is a person who has made every possible mistake in a small field of study.

[Moonlight]

I'm so glad that Tyson chinned Wilder with his pillow fists last night, the Gypsy King put Wilder on the floor twice before the fight was waved off in the seventh round. :har::har::har:

[Jimbuna]

Sometimes you succeed.... and other times you learn.

[mapuc]

Yesterday I learned about a conspiracy I didn't knew existed.

https://www.iflscience.com/editors-blog/the-weirdest-conspiracy-theories-of-all-time/all/

Markus

[Eichhörnchen]

I'm so glad that Tyson chinned Wilder with his pillow fists last night, the Gypsy King put Wilder on the floor twice before the fight was waved off in the seventh round. :har::har::har:

Yeah I enjoyed hearing about that on the radio today... quite a few big fat mouths got shut up there :haha:

[Aktungbby]

I just realized we have no bat-s...t-crazy-link thread, but it may fit in here.

https://www.space.com/40083-flat-earther-mike-hughes-launches-homemade-rocket.html

I humbly disagree as to the level of bats...tness. attributable to a lunatic who launches himself yet has considered having two parachutes and cooly deployed both to achieve the first rule of aeronatical endeavor: ANY LANDING U WALK AWAY FROM IS A GOOD ONE....:rock::/\\!! Having found myself in precarious touchdowns in Cessna 172's I doff my sombrero to his over-sized cajones! And, considering today is the anniversary of the Columbia disaster which had no shuttle escape plan: learning from 7 others mistake is better than learning from your own painsavings-wise! :Kaleun_Wink:that said; he just died on his second launch! The chutes failed to open!

[Jimbuna]

I didn't find out what happiness means until I got married... and then it was too late.

[mapuc]

There's more to win a war, than beat the enemy at the front.

Markus

[Aktungbby]

/\ indeed you must also kick his ass! :up:...:hmmm:

[Jimbuna]

You can teach a cat to do anything that it wants to do.

[Reece]

I didn't find out what happiness means until I got married... and then it was too late.
Did you tell your wife that? :hmmm:

[Aktungbby]

he said he was unhappy...not apolitical:O:!

[Jimbuna]

Tell your boss what you really think about him, and the truth shall set you free, from your job.

[Jimbuna]

When you have a hammer in your hand everything around you starts looking like a nail.

[Jimbuna]

Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter... people the opposite.

[Jimbuna]

It's better to shut up and give the impression that you're stupid than to say something and erase all doubt.

[mapuc]

you learn as long as you live..there is no such thing as exact science.

Markus

[Jimbuna]

Three monkeys escaped from the zoo, one was caught watching TV, the other playing hockey, and the third one was caught reading this quote!

[mapuc]

Von den Alpen habe ich geträumt, also war es ein Alptraum

Markus

[Catfish]

^ :haha::up:

[Moonlight]

Von den Alpen habe ich geträumt, also war es ein Alptraum

Markus

^ :haha::up:

Translator it says,
I dreamed of the Alps it was a nightmare
I'm not seeing the funny in Markus's quote, could someone enlighten me. :doh:

[mapuc]

^ If you take this word alptraum apart you will get

Alp and traum

Traum=dream
Mostly neutral or somehow sweet

And this mountains
Alp or correct German Die Alpen=The Alps

put them together alptraum you get nightmare

I remember I asked my father and grandpa why the German called nightmare for alptraum-and they could not tell me.

Back to comments

Markus

[Catfish]

Just a play with words.
Like a black horse, a mare, so it may become a nightmare - different meaning here of course.

The original meaning comes from "Alb" and thus Albtraum, but since language changes "Alptraum" is now also official writing.
The sound of both words is the same anyway.

An Alb (also Elb, Elben etc.) is a natural spirit, they are also called "Elfen" or "elves" in english (or should i say anglisch). If you have a dream that frightens you, you probaly dreamt of some strange supernatural creatures.
Albs are inituially described as creatures of light, or white foglike creatures, but there are also the dark black (negative) albs.

https://i.imgur.com/tnmHQBsl.jpg

(Picture by August Malmstroem)

[Moonlight]

Ahhh I get it now, a play with words just like this one, "She was only the carpenters daughter but she wood (would)". :O:

[Aktungbby]

^OR: 2 DAY IS THE FIRST OF THE MONTH;TIME MARCHES ON!:O:

[Jimbuna]

When a man gets close to a woman wearing a leather mini-skirt, his heart starts beating faster, his throat gets dry, his knees get weak and he becomes irrational.. Why? Because the leather smells like a new car.

[Jimbuna]

When you're thinking that I'm thinking of you, I'm thinking you're thinking of me.

[mapuc]

We pray for peace, while we prepare for war.

Markus

[Aktungbby]

We pray for peace, while we prepare for war.

Markus
you're two thousand years too late BBY Si vis pacem, para bellum I carry 'parabellums' https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/2/2a/9_mm.JPG/220px-9_mm.JPG (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:9_mm.JPG)in my duty BerettaDAO .9 mm https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/3/3d/Birth_Machine.jpg/800px-Birth_Machine.jpg< H R Giger

[Mr Quatro]

There's only two things worth anything in this world :up:

Your life and my life and I'm not too sure about your life :D

[Jimbuna]

You already know something you don't even know that you know.

[Jimbuna]

“Sorry I don’t know if its a boy or a girl yet, we’ll have to wait until the baby grows older and decides for itself!” Said no doctor ever.

[Jimbuna]

Everyone wants your best! Don't let them take it away from you.

[Jimbuna]

Some days, you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue, just live with it.

[Jimbuna]

You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself.

[Jimbuna]

Never test how deep the water is with both feet.

[Jimbuna]

I consider myself a crayon, I might not be your favorite color but one day you'll need me to complete your picture.

[Jimbuna]

Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.

[Jimbuna]

Don’t think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.

[Aktungbby]

/\ or a great ape!:yep:

[Jimbuna]

A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.

[Jimbuna]

Some people walk into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts. Others walk into our lives and we want to leave footprints on their face!

[Jimbuna]

If you didn't see it with your own eyes, or hear it with your own ears, don't invent it with your small mind and share it with your big mouth!

[Jimbuna]

People say you can't live without love, but I think oxygen is more important.

[Jimbuna]

The secret of success is to go from mistake to mistake without losing your enthusiasm.

[Jimbuna]

Always run away from temptations... but slowly, so they can catch up to you.

[Jimbuna]

Life isn't measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the number of moments that take your breath away.

[vienna]

Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens...





<O>

[Eisenwurst]

Lots of Chocolate Easter Squirrels !!!! making an appearance on supermarket shelves down here ( Sydney ). Crowding out the Easter Bunnies.

What's going on ??? Does "someone" we all know and love own a chocolate factory ???:hmmm:

[Catfish]

Maybe Willy "Squirrel" Wonka, i heard he also opened an art exhibition in your vicinity :hmmm:

[Jimbuna]

I believe there should be a better way to start each day... instead of waking up every morning.

[Jimbuna]

I can't wait for that to never happen.

[Jimbuna]

I know the voices in my head aren't real..... but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome!

[mapuc]

(Another play with words)

If a car starts to rot, is it then a carrot ?

Markus

[Jimbuna]

I'm not afraid to die. I just don't like the thought of being gone so long!

[mapuc]

They said
Mask and gloves was enough

Got arrested for nudity at my local grocery store

Markus

[mapuc]

In Germany people is starting to hoard cheese and sausage

They are awaiting wurst käse(worst case) scenario

Markus

[Catfish]

Now those two latter ones really made my day :haha:
Thanks Markus

[Jimbuna]

You know you’ve had a bad Valentine’s Day when the lamppost by the pub gets more cards and flowers than you.

[Jimbuna]

I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better.

[mapuc]

I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better.

Same here................until I realized it was my mirror

Markus

[Jimbuna]

:haha:

[Aktungbby]

Same here................until I realized it was my mirror

Markus

:haha:More importantly, at age 69 you can still tell that's not daddy looking back at you first thing in the morning! 🦍No aricept required...yet:ping::ping::yep:

[mapuc]

(Nothing but a funny input on the new rules in Germany and UK)

The implementing of the new rules in Germany and UK

As of this some regulation are now coming into effect here on subsim

No more than two German members are allowed to post right after each other. If a third German should post a third answer, a moderator should place this longer down in the thread.

Same goes for our UK members.

Markus

[Jimbuna]

The best part of going to work is coming back home at the end of the day.

[Jimbuna]

I used to have a fear of climbing walls but I’ve finally managed to get over it.

[Eisenwurst]

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-32987622

Not sure if this has been posted before ( 2015 ) ........but it's big news.

"Godzilla finally becomes a Japanese citizen".

:up:

[Catfish]

^ About time!
:haha::up:

[Aktungbby]

The best part of going to work is coming back home at the end of the day.
Strictly a man's POV: women just start their 'second shift"!:arrgh!: :oops: :dead:

[Jimbuna]

“If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?”

[Aktungbby]

^looking to the past and to the future: it's all about the gods u worship https://images.theconversation.com/files/199859/original/file-20171219-27562-wg1lsi.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip:yep:

[Jimbuna]

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute forget the fruit.

[Jimbuna]

I survived the great toilet paper scare of 2020.

[Aktungbby]

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute forget the fruit. if the doctor is cute let's hope you're not the fruit!:O:

[Jimbuna]

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

[Jimbuna]

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid.

[Jimbuna]

Ever looked at your ex and wondered... was I drunk the entire relationship?

[mapuc]

Around 90 % of the population is caught in a matrix, except we call it Facebook.

Markus

[Jimbuna]

Where do I see myself in a year? I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision.

[Jimbuna]

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

[Jimbuna]

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

[Jimbuna]

Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year's? Now we're old and cursing because we're staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.

[Jimbuna]

Less is more, unless it's kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

[Jimbuna]

I really can’t stand being in a wheelchair.

[vienna]

That statement doesn't have a leg to stand on, not to mention shaky footing...





<O>

[Aktungbby]

SUCH ARCANE PHILOSOPHY IS OFT A BOOTLESS PURSUIT

[vienna]

Well...


...ain't that a kick...




<O>

[Jimbuna]

This too shall pass... It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

[Jimbuna]

Whoever said "Out of sight, out of mind" never had a spider disappear in their bedroom.

[Aktungbby]

Singing in the shower ia all fun and games...till you get soap in your mouth; then it's a soap opera!

[Jimbuna]

I love all mythical creatures... vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.

[Jimbuna]

I don't want to adult today, I just want to dog. I'll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks.

[Jimbuna]

When I find it, I don't need it. When I need it, I can't find it.

[Jimbuna]

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

[mapuc]

Voters condemn a newspaper, if they post a critical article about their trusted politicians

While they on the other hand have no problem giving positiv feedback to the same newspaper, when they post an article that fits they standpoints.

Markus

[Jimbuna]

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift. That's why we call it the "present."

[Jimbuna]

I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won't let me.

[Aktungbby]

MATURITY IS LEARNING NOT TO PICK YOUR NOSE AND USE A TOUCH-SCREEN SIMULTANEOUSLY:doh:

[Jimbuna]

When I find it, I don't need it. When I need it, I can't find it.

[Jimbuna]

If one door closes and another door opens... your house is probably haunted.

[Jimbuna]

Listen, before I had my coffee I didn't know how awesome I was going to be today either.

[Von Due]

Dear customers: When the bike saddle is at ancle height, you probably should start considering swapping your much loved bike for a bigger one. I can only do so much and I don't think you will pay me an awful lot of money if I took a large hammer and fixed your size.

[Jimbuna]

I'm having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by...

[Jimbuna]

Now if you'll excuse me... today's bad decisions aren't going to make themselves.

[Jimbuna]

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

[Jimbuna]

Instead of LOL why don't you try LOLWKASF: Laughing Out Loud While Keeping A Straight Face.

[Jimbuna]

If you think nobody cares that you're alive try missing a couple of payments.

[Jimbuna]

My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

[Jimbuna]

Common sense is so rare these days that it should be considered a superpower.

[Catfish]

Common sense is so rare these days that it should be considered a superpower.
In that context I seriously consider "common sense" today to be a third world country, or at least a completely insignificant nation :yep:

Superpower. English. Got to love it.
:O:

[Aktungbby]

COMMON SENSE IS UNCOMMON!:O:

[Aktungbby]

FUNNY HOW THE EXPRESSION: ''THE NEW NORMAL'' REALLY ONLY MEANS ONE THING: "IT AIN'T AS AS GOOD AS IT USED TO BE!"DAMN! My case in point in today's W.S.J. Scott Gottlieb editorial: "The Cruel Covid 'New Normal'":k_confused:

[Jimbuna]

Whenever I have a headache I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.

[Jimbuna]

Teacher: Why are you talking during my lesson? Student: Why are you teaching during my conversation?

[Jimbuna]

Just once I'd like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear "Monday has been cancelled," and then go back to sleep.

[Texas Red]

Well, I nearly dated a girl a while back, she was a tad bit older than me, she's a Freshmen High School, but I'm in my last year of Middle School.
I *nearly* dated her because my parents made me stop talking to her because of the way we talked.
I'm dirty-minded and so is she, so there would be several innuendos in one day from both of us to each other. Some were small but there were some big ones as well.

She was real pretty too. But with me in the Naval Sea Cadet Corps, one violation in the rules can get you kicked off of the team. There were multiple rules involving our last relationship so I think I won't be able to talk to her again.

I'm kinda contemplating not dating anyone until I'm done with the Sea Cadet Corps though because I do not want to risk my possible career in the Navy being thrown out the window because I did some bad stuff.

You guys may think that this is wrong, but I don't really care.

Also, you guys may think that with me being off of school for the rest of the school year that I am happy, but I'm not. I really hate E-learning because one of our teachers is a sadist and she derives pleasure from watching people fail on her assignments. So she has like one big assignment and then 4-6 mini assignments in it that take me like 3 hours to do!
I just wanna go back to school and see my friends again. I've been talking to them via texting, and I cannot see them because either they are busy or their moms do want me to come over to their house.

When this pandemic is all over, I'm going to have a sit down dinner with my family at my favorite restaurant and eat their famous burgers and drink their milkshakes.

[Texas Red]

Common sense seems to be rare in some of my class-mates.

We had a kid last year who was as dumb as rocks. He thought we would go outside for Gym when we were in the middle of a severe thunderstorm.

Just makes no sense. He moved to a different school in December of this year.

[Jimbuna]

I'm always in a rush to go home, and do absolutely nothing.

[Jimbuna]

I try to contain my craziness, but the lid keeps popping off.

[Texas Red]

I try to contain my craziness, but the lid keeps popping off.

Me too, I feel like I'm going INSANE

[Jimbuna]

I'm slowly becoming an adult... please make it stop.

[Jimbuna]

I'm not stubborn, my way is just better than yours.

[Catfish]

If you follow a dogma, you are living the thoughts of others.

[vienna]

My Karma ran over your dogma...





<O>

[Catfish]

My Karma ran over your dogma... <O>
.. and so this was my Karma :oops:

[Jimbuna]

That moment you turn down the music while driving around looking for a street address, so you can see better.

[Jimbuna]

I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.

[Catfish]

America explained, part 1

The statue of liberty. Donated by the French. A gigantic woman trapped on an island from which she can never escape. Symbolizes freedom.

[Jimbuna]

What if there was no Google? Good question.. I'll have to Google it.

[Jimbuna]

Yesterday I wore something from 5 years ago and it actually fit. So proud of myself. It was a scarf, but still, let's be positive here.

[mapuc]

To subsim or not to subsim, there should never be any doubt

You should always

Keep calm
and
subsim

Markus

[Jimbuna]

I think I may need professional help... A chef, a butler and a maid should be enough.