This is the comment thread!

[Jimbuna]

Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.

[Jimbuna]

Newspaper Ad: Parachute for sale, used once, never opened!!

[Eichhörnchen]

My son is weird sometimes... we were driving home this afternoon and he called out from the back seat: "No more tricks, Springtrap... my name is Doctor Bendy and I am going to destroy you"

[mapuc]

^ Does he have any favorite series he likes to see on tv or youtube.

Could be it's from there he got it.

Markus

[Eichhörnchen]

Yes it'll no doubt be from Youtube, Markus

[Jimbuna]

The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.

[Jimbuna]

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

[Aktungbby]

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? WELL IF THE IDIOT IS IN FRONT AND THE MANIAC IS BEHIND; YOU'RE THE IDIAC IN A JAM!:Kaleun_Goofy:

[Jeff-Groves]

So. If I'm the Maniac and the idiots are behind me does that make me a Maniot?
:hmmm:

[vienna]

My son is weird sometimes... we were driving home this afternoon and he called out from the back seat: "No more tricks, Springtrap... my name is Doctor Bendy and I am going to destroy you"


Springtrap appears to be a character from a video game called "Five Nights at Freddy's":

https://freddy-fazbears-pizza.fandom.com/wiki/Springtrap









<O>

[Eichhörnchen]

Thanks, vienna... that's solved that. He's actually got a toy figure just like the ghastly thing in this link :haha:

[Jimbuna]

I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

[Jimbuna]

Intelligence is chasing me, but I'm beating it so far.

[Jimbuna]

The probability of meeting someone you know increases a hundredfold when you're with someone you're not supposed to be seen with.

[Jimbuna]

Diet rule #1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesn't contain any calories.

[Jimbuna]

If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried.

[Jimbuna]

You're born free, then you're taxed to death.

[Jimbuna]

I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle!... He's dreaming too.

[Jimbuna]

Math is fun, it teaches you life and death information, like when you're cold, you should go to a corner since it's 90 degrees there.

[Jimbuna]

When my boss told me this is the fifth time I'm late, I smiled and thought to myself, it's Friday!!

[Jimbuna]

When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.

[Jimbuna]

The difference between running and walking is a lot more apparent when you have to go to the bathroom.

[Eichhörnchen]

https://i.imgur.com/f0PlSZQ.jpg

Our son and his teacher were watching some giant ants carrying their food along a branch yesterday at Sea World. He asked her whether ants have hands. I just related this quite funny story on my Facebook page and one of my friends has told me that he googled it just now and found that they use their mandibles to carry things. I told him that I know he went to school because I was there with him :haha:

Edit: He just said he must have had that day off

[vienna]

Just in the past few minutes, two flights of Osprey aircraft, two craft in each flight, passed overhead at a very low altitude, low enough to rattle the library building I'm in; we used to only see them when Obama came into LA, and then, they flew at a much, much higher altitude; wonder if Donny is venturing into SoCal in the near future... :hmmm:









<O>

[Jimbuna]

The best things in life are free. The rest are too expensive.

[Eichhörnchen]

https://i.imgur.com/jLvZr7C.jpg

I was just sent this fuzzy photo of a photo by an old girlfriend from 45 years ago... I've never seen it before. It shows me (on the right) with her brother Phil, who I learn is now sadly passed. We were Army Cadets together

[Jimbuna]

Being a couch potato is dangerous, someone may get hungry and eat you!

[Jimbuna]

Never run away when you see a bear, unless you know you can beat some of the other runners.

[Jimbuna]

I'd like to live like a poor man - only with lots of money.

[Jimbuna]

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

[Jimbuna]

Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives.

[Jimbuna]

Have no fear of perfection, you'll never reach it.

[Jimbuna]

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

[Eichhörnchen]

^ That's me :yep:

[vienna]

Are you still here?...









<O>

[Jimbuna]

Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil.

[Jimbuna]

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

[Jimbuna]

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.

[JU_88]

You're worst character ever Dowly!

https://proxy.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=http%3A%2F%2F25.media.tumblr.com%2Ftumblr_lp9zh abh6B1qa976jo1_400.jpg&f=1

[Jimbuna]

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

[Jimbuna]

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.

[Jimbuna]

The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

[Aktungbby]

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar. LUCKY YOU! SHE COULDA 'PUT A CORK IN IT!':O:

:Kaleun_Crying:

[Eichhörnchen]

https://i.imgur.com/TXnHuF4.jpg "A banana is only a banana, but a good cigar is a smoke"

[Buddahaid]

Ensconced on Frenchman Dt. NOLA 4:08 AM.

[Jimbuna]

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories...

[Jimbuna]

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

[Jimbuna]

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

[Jimbuna]

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

[Jimbuna]

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.

[Jimbuna]

Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.

[Jimbuna]

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

[vienna]

..and behind every successful woman, is a man wanting to take the credit...





(Got that a long while back from my second ex...)...









<O>

[Jimbuna]

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

[Aktungbby]

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LAB RATS AND HUMANS IS THAT RATS LEARN FROM EXPERIENCE....

[Jimbuna]

Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.

[Aktungbby]

I TEND TO MAKE FEW DECISIONS; CHOICES HAVE CONSEQUENCES

[Jimbuna]

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

[Aktungbby]

KNOWLEDGE IS KNOWING A TOMATO IS A FRUIT. WISDOM IS NOT PUTTING IT IN A FRUIT SALAD

[Jimbuna]

KNOWLEDGE IS KNOWING A TOMATO IS A FRUIT. WISDOM IS NOT PUTTING IT IN A FRUIT SALAD

https://i.imgur.com/OcDrtGv.gif

http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/showpost.php?p=2431030&postcount=6831

[Jimbuna]

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.

[Aktungbby]

I TEND TO MAKE FEW DECISIONS; CHOICES HAVE CONSEQUENCES OF COURSE THE MAIN PROBLEM WITH DOING NOTHING IS KNOWING WHEN YOU ARE FINISHED....:ping: :hmmm: :shucks:

[Jimbuna]

How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?

[Jimbuna]

Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement.

[Aktungbby]

Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because ....:oor because, at age 68:k_confused:, one has forgotten his Aricept for the day!:O:

[Jimbuna]

After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."

[Jimbuna]

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

[vienna]

Sounds like it might be that GPS problem...








<O>

[Jimbuna]

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

[Jimbuna]

You know the speed of light; so what is the speed of dark?

[mapuc]

You know the speed of light; so what is the speed of dark?

The Answer may be in this article

https://gizmodo.com/whats-the-speed-of-dark-matter-1822465813

Markus

[STEED]

I only take orders from me until I go on strike.:haha:

[Jimbuna]

Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have the film.

[Von Due]

I have perfect photographic memory. All shots by a 1st gen cell phone camera. I have no idea what it is I remember.

[Jimbuna]

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.

[Von Due]

From the Beeb
Fans celebrating goals are being turned into criminals because of a "narrative that all football fans are scum, thugs", a supporters' group says.


And if this message isn't clear enough we will kick it into your skulls. Peace. Millwall Support... I guess.

[Jimbuna]

Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.

[Jimbuna]

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

[Jimbuna]

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

[Jimbuna]

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

[Jimbuna]

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

[Jimbuna]

He who laughs last didn't get it.

[Jimbuna]

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

[Jimbuna]

Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

[Von Due]

Famous last words from customers: "You don't have time. I do so it's my time I'm spending, not yours".

[Jimbuna]

The road to success is always under construction.

[Jimbuna]

I've learned so much from my mistakes, I'm thinking of making a few more.

[Jimbuna]

I'm so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.

[Jimbuna]

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation.

[Von Due]

First of April: The only day of the year that people critically evaluate things they read on the Internet... before accepting it as facts.

[Jimbuna]

Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.

[Jimbuna]

You don't have to be crazy to hang out with me... I'll train you.

[Jimbuna]

I'm never wrong. Just different levels of right.

[Catfish]

So a worker cost 75,000 Euro per year.
A robot doing a workers work costs 100,000 Euros.
This means the robot has amortised itself within the first two years.

Which company chief will then employ workers?
The base for trade unions will be gone.
A lot of people will be unemployed, training them for new branches is impossible.

A basic loan for all will be unevitable, employed or not.
Or there will be a revolution, but a real one this time.

Still think immigrants take your jobs?

[u crank]

Reported as spam.

[Jimbuna]

Listen, smile, agree.. Then do whatever you were gonna do anyway.

[Jimbuna]

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you're full of energy and you can't wait to get to work? Me neither!

[Jimbuna]

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can't beat surfing the net.

[Jimbuna]

I always say "morning" instead of "good morning", because if it was a good morning, I'd still be asleep.

[Jimbuna]

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you're getting a dictionary.

[vienna]

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you're getting a dictionary.


Reminded me of a news story a couple of decades back about a police chief who bought his entire force copies of dictionaries thesauruses because he said he was sick and tired of reading incident reports by his officers with descriptions like: "The victim's foot was decapitated..."...









<O>

[Jimbuna]

Another fine day ruined by responsibilities...

[Jimbuna]

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

[Jimbuna]

Legend says that when you can't sleep, it's because you're awake in someone's dream. So if everyone could stop dreaming about me, that would be great.

[Jimbuna]

You call it nagging, I call it 'listen to what I said the first time!'

[Jimbuna]

They call it "fell asleep" but it should be more like "entered a mental state of regeneration."

[Jimbuna]

Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

[Jimbuna]

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it's only Thursday.

[Von Due]

"Cabinet minister David Lidington" anagrams to "Goddamnit! It isn't invincible, dear."
Coincidence? :06:

[Jimbuna]

Did you just fall? No, I was checking if gravity still works.

[Jimbuna]

People say I act like I don't care. It's not an act.

[Aktungbby]

WHEN THEY BURY U IN AUSTRALIA PEOPLE REFRAIN FROM SAYING 'DOWN UNDER'; IT'S CONSIDERED REDUNDANT:O:

[Jimbuna]

I know my limits. I don't always obey them, but I know them.

[Jimbuna]

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you're not home.

[Jimbuna]

I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbours.

[Eisenwurst]

"Tiffany's" don't do breakfast.

[Jimbuna]

That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you're shopping for something else because they just won't budge.

[Jimbuna]

I'm on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.

[Aktungbby]

/\ that it all comes out well
in the end!:Kaleun_Sick::O:

[Jimbuna]

Don't worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

[Von Due]

Reading how Iran's Wisest of the Wise have banned nature documentaries showing a buffalo's rear end as it would be too suggestive. May I suggest the new Iranian breed of horses
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dyMXYE_50Ts

[Jimbuna]

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

[Jimbuna]

Pleasing everyone, that's impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!

[Jimbuna]

When life closes a door, just open it again. It's a door, that's how they work.

[Jimbuna]

You had me at "We'll make it look like an accident."

[Jimbuna]

I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.

[Jimbuna]

I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.

[Jimbuna]

I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don't think being an adult is going to work for me.

[Jimbuna]

You know the potholes on a road are bad when they assign lifeguards to them, in case anybody falls inside.

[Jimbuna]

Whenever I'm sad, you're there. Whenever I have problems, you're there. Whenever I lose control, you're there. Let's face it, you are bad luck.

[Jimbuna]

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

[Von Due]

Anyone who thinks the earth is flat: Play the Silent Hunter series and learn the true shape of the earth. It's a cylinder.

[Jimbuna]

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say "I know it's hard, but you'll be okay. Here's a coffee and a million pounds."

[Jimbuna]

Been there done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.

[BossMark]

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?...
He’s a mile away and you’ve got his shoes!

[Jimbuna]

I just finally discovered what's wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

[Jimbuna]

Not to brag but I don't even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

[Jimbuna]

A good mood like is like a balloon, one prick is all it takes to ruin it.

[Jimbuna]

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

[Jimbuna]

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

[Catfish]

The strong feed upon the weak. It's such an obligingly simple rule.

[Aktungbby]

The strong feed upon the weak. It's such an obligingly simple rule.
CATFISH! U OLD KRAUT MALTHUSIAN!:Kaleun_Salivating::Kaleun_Goofy: The annual increase of population in Germany amounts to almost 900,000 souls. The difficulties of providing for this army of new citizens must grow from year to year and must finally lead to a catastrophe, unless ways and means are found which will forestall the danger of misery and hunger. But if that policy be carried out the final results must be that such a nation will eventually terminate its own existence on this earth; for though man may defy the eternal laws of procreation during a certain period, vengeance will follow sooner or later. A stronger race will oust that which has grown weak; for the vital urge, in its ultimate form, will burst asunder all the absurd chains of this so-called humane consideration for the individual and will replace it with the humanity of Nature, which wipes out what is weak in order to give place to the strong. But if that policy be carried out the final results must be that such a nation will eventually terminate its own existence on this earth; for though man may defy the eternal laws of procreation during a certain period, vengeance will follow sooner or later. A stronger race will oust that which has grown weak; for the vital urge, in its ultimate form, will burst asunder all the absurd chains of this so-called humane consideration for the individual and will replace it with the humanity of Nature, which wipes out what is weak in order to give place to the strong. Of course people will not voluntarily make that accommodation. At this point the right of self-preservation comes into effect. And when attempts to settle the difficulty in an amicable way are rejected the clenched hand must take by force that which was refused to the open hand of friendship. If in the past our ancestors had based their political decisions on similar pacifist nonsense as our present generation does, we should not possess more than one-third of the national territory that we possess to-day and probably there would be no German nation to worry about its future in Europe.
https://www.econlib.org/archives/2005/03/hitlers_argumen.html (https://www.econlib.org/archives/2005/03/hitlers_argumen.html) :hmmm: IE: NUTHIN' GUTEN GOES OUTTA STYLE BBY:rock::()1::gulp:

[Catfish]

Next, wait for my conquest :haha:

Seriously, at least one who found the source :03:
Although i mean this critically.. to warn about letting any human or nation get too strong.

[Jimbuna]

You're riding a horse full speed, and there's a giraffe on your left and a lion chasing you from behind, so what do you do? Get off the carousel!

[Catfish]

You have 4 worms.

You put the first in a glass of Whiskey.
You put the second one in container of nicotine.
You put the third in a glass of sperm.
You put the fourth in a glass of mineral water.

After a day you look what happened to the worms.
You find out that all are dead, except the one in the mineral water.

What does this tell you?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.










Who drinks, smokes and has sex never gets worms.

[Jimbuna]

Dear life, when I said "can this day get any worse" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

[vienna]

Happy National Procrastination Day 1987!...








<O>

[Jimbuna]

Yes officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn't see your car.

[Jimbuna]

I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.

[Aktungbby]

I was addicted to the hoky-poky, but I turned myself around.:yeah:

[Jimbuna]

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.

[Jimbuna]

Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It's like Facebook in real life.

[BossMark]

Friendship-We’ll be friends until we’re old and senile…then, we’ll be new friends!

[Eichhörnchen]

Some of my favourite movies in my collection are: Captain Blood, Long John Siver, Blackbeard's Ghost, Hook, Treasure Island, Cut Throat Island, Swashbuckler, The Buccaneer, and Anne of The Indies

My friend now tells me that these are pirate DVDs and I should hand myself in to the authorities

[Jimbuna]

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.

[Gerald]

I wonder how many people I met, who do not realize that the journey is part of life.

[Jimbuna]

The problem with educating stupid people was that they didn't know they were stupid. The same went for curing crazy people.

[Aktungbby]

What if the Hokie Pokie is what it's all about?:hmmm:

[Gerald]

What if the Hokie Pokie is what it's all about?:hmmm: LOL

[Jimbuna]

Stupid people will mistake your confidence for arrogance.

[Jimbuna]

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won't feel like you are lonely any more.

[Jimbuna]

As long as everything is exactly the way I want it.. I'm totally flexible.

[Jimbuna]

I'm multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.

[Catfish]

Just voted in the EU election, 30+ candidates.. three animal protection parties but not one about unicorns.

[vienna]

I was addicted to the hoky-poky, but I turned myself around.:yeah:

What if the Hokie Pokie is what it's all about?:hmmm:


Well, if you're over ther Hokey-Pokey, then how about this dance created by kids in 1952, at the high school from which I graduated some 50 years ago come this next June:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EmC1KyxhEJU



https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bunny_hop_(dance)


This is probably the only real claim to fame Balboa High School has (somehow they don't seem to consider my graduating from there a major/important event) ... :D









<O>

[Jimbuna]

Sleeping is hard in the summer because the blankets are too warm, but without them I am vulnerable to monsters.

[Jimbuna]

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn't even know they knew how to knit.

[Aktungbby]

AFTER A DAY OF SAILING, I ENJOYED MY WIFE'S CROCKPOT CHICKEN MARENGO AND....EVER THE HISTORY JOCK, REFLECTED 'THERE IS NO 'CHICKEN WATERLOO'....:hmmm:

[Jimbuna]

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!

[Jimbuna]

Oh I'm sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

[Jimbuna]

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

[Aktungbby]

I was addicted to the hoky-poky, but I turned myself around.:yeah:

What if the Hokie Pokie is what it's all about?:hmmm:

EGAD! SOMEBODY AT APPLE READS MY :subsim: POSTS! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oigKwLa2yyA (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oigKwLa2yyA)

[Catfish]

^ you do not expect me to buy ANYTHING from Apple after that spot?
Sorry, i am not hip enough :O:

[Jimbuna]

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my fingers, because I can always count on them.

[Aktungbby]

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my fingers, because I can always count on them."U put you put your left leg in; U put your right arm in...and U do the higher count! That's what it's all about!:":Kaleun_Goofy:

[fireftr18]

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my fingers, because I can always count on them.

You can count on your fingers only so far, then you have to count on your toes.

[mapuc]

Under certain circumstances I can count to 21 :D

Markus

[Jimbuna]

Want to hear a construction joke? Sorry, I'm still working on it.

[Jimbuna]

I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.

[Jimbuna]

Instead of calling it the John I'm going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

[Von Due]

Why do they call it manslaughter? Is it really that funny?

[Jimbuna]

I always mean what I say, I don't always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.

[Aktungbby]

I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.at your age, it'll be the only thing 'sticking up for you'!..trust me!:wah:
:O:

[Jimbuna]

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

[Jimbuna]

Interviewer: So tell me about yourself. Me: I'd rather not.. I kinda want this job.

[Jimbuna]

I didn't mean to gain weight, it just happened by snackcident.

[Aktungbby]

I didn't mean to gain weight, it just happened by snackcident.WELL, IT'S ALL THE STYLE NOW BBYhttp://www.sherv.net/cm/emoticons/flags/american-flag.gif (http://www.sherv.net/american.flag-emoticon-625.html) https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2019/06/04/16/14356428-7103383-image-a-16_1559661378903.jpg<CALIFORNIA SNACK-BOY BEATS CHISEL'D BRIT-BY 'SNICKCIDENT':O:! [/URL]:Kaleun_Applaud: :Kaleun_Thumbs_Up: The heavyweight (6'2" 285 LB) has made no secret of his love for a Snickers candy bar - he has a picture of one as his cover photo on Twitter and also used the hashtag #snickerspower in the buildup to the heavyweight fight in New York City Congrats again on the upset "[URL="https://twitter.com/Andy_destroyer1"]@Andy_destroyer1 (http://www.sherv.net/american.flag-emoticon-625.html) ! Victory is sweet, but so is the package we are sending https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/1017434191909310466/TtT51Etq_bigger.jpg Newly-crowned heavyweight champion Andy Ruiz Jr. may be nearing the Snickers endorsement deal he's been angling for since upsetting undefeated Englishman Anthony Joshua in New York on Saturday

[Jimbuna]

Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on a beach drinking margaritas.

[Jimbuna]

Don't mess with me, I know Karate, Judo, Jujitsu, Kung Fu and 20 other dangerous words.

[Jimbuna]

My hobbies include eating and complaining that I've gained too much weight.

[Jimbuna]

An apple a day keeps anyone anyway, if you throw it hard enough.

[Jimbuna]

A lot of people ask me if I were shipwrecked, and could only have one book, what would it be? I always say 'How to Build a Boat.'

[mapuc]

Internet surfing got beatet by my sleep

Markus

[Jimbuna]

The right to be heard does not include the right to be taken seriously.

[Eichhörnchen]

STEED never says exactly what this job is that he does...

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/1576461/Dwarves-zipped-in-suitcases-steal-from-Swedes.html?fbclid=IwAR2OmztPz1GCJubFc61c7xg8dBlwi BOjZAZU-LQ1zX4o8xFwgzVFjt8N_gg

[Jimbuna]

At the end of the day life should ask us "Are you sure you want to save the changes?"

[Jimbuna]

When people tell me "You're going to regret that in the morning," I sleep in until noon because I'm a problem solver.

[Jimbuna]

I don't go crazy, I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.

[Aktungbby]

STEED never says exactly what this job is that he does...

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/1576461/Dwarves-zipped-in-suitcases-steal-from-Swedes.html?fbclid=IwAR2OmztPz1GCJubFc61c7xg8dBlwi BOjZAZU-LQ1zX4o8xFwgzVFjt8N_gg U NEED TO PAY MORE ATTN: :O: http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/showpost.php?p=2613651&postcount=2595 (http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/showpost.php?p=2613651&postcount=2595) Hey jim I would say go ahead I own a porn site and gladly welcome more visitors and no I am not paying up to you a spotty snotty nosed kid and by the way stay off my site its for adults only. :haha:

:Kaleun_Wink:

[Jimbuna]

I'm glad I don't have to hunt my own food, I don't even know where sandwiches live.

[Jimbuna]

My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60. Now he's 97 years old and we have no clue where he is.

[Jimbuna]

What's your best non-swearing insult? I hope you step on a Lego. - coolfunnyquotes.com

[Von Due]

Most people think the reason the T-Rex doesn't clap its hands is because its arms are too short, but really it's because it's dead.

[Aktungbby]

What's your best non-swearing insult? I hope you step on a Lego. - coolfunnyquotes.com

ALWAYS DO WHAT YOUR MOMMY SAYS; I KNOW YOU PEOPLE NEVER KNOW YOUR FATHERS!

[Jimbuna]

I would like to apologize to anyone whom I haven't offended yet. Please be patient, I will get to you shortly.

[Catfish]

"Brexit tested on horses, found to have no ill effects!" (Rupert Murdoch Media)

[Jimbuna]

Dear life, I understand very clearly that you are not fair so you can stop teaching me that lesson.

[Jimbuna]

Have you ever looked at someone and knew the wheel was turning, but the hamster fell off long time ago?

[Jimbuna]

If you don't like me, remember it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter.

[Jimbuna]

Today I was a hero. I rescued some beer that was trapped in a bottle.

[Jimbuna]

Be strong, I whispered to my WiFi signal.

[Jimbuna]

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

[Jimbuna]

I saw/see what you posted :hmmm:

https://i.imgur.com/SmgQ3lT.gif

[Aktungbby]

^WOULD THAT OUR SPOUSES THOUGHT US SO APT IN THE HORIZONTAL! :O: :hmmm: :k_confused:

[Jimbuna]

There are so many times I made you angry, upset, irritated and tired. Today I just wanted to say that I'm thinking of continuing.

[Jimbuna]

"Revenge" sounds so mean, that's why I prefer to call it "Returning the favour."

[Jimbuna]

Ironing boards are surf boards that quit before achieving their dream. Don't be an ironing board.

[Jimbuna]

Be careful when you follow the masses. Sometimes the M is silent.

[Jimbuna]

On Mercury a day lasts 1,408 hours. Just like every Monday does on Earth.

[STEED]

Jim makes a lot of comments just like our MP's do but jim is not a politician. :hmmm:

[Jimbuna]

Jim makes a lot of comments just like our MP's do but jim is not a politician. :hmmm:

https://i.imgur.com/TYZ7VtH.gif

[Jimbuna]

If we ever travel far in the universe to another planet with intelligent life, let's just make patterns in their crops and leave.

[Jimbuna]

I hate it when people text "Call me." I'm going to start calling people and as soon as they answer I'll say "text me," then hang up.

[Jimbuna]

Lazy people fact #2347827309018287. You were too lazy to read that number.

[vienna]

Hell, I barely had the energy to read the post...







<O>

[vienna]

Auto-correct is a two-edged sword; yesterday I saw a flyer posted in my complex correcting a previous error in an earlier flyer; the first paragraph opened with: "We apologize for any incontinence our previous posting may have caused..."...










<O>

[fireftr18]

Lazy people fact #2347827309018287. You were too lazy to read that number.

I resemble that remark.

[Jimbuna]

If I had 10 cookies and you took half, do you know what you would have? That's right, a black eye and a broken hand.

[Jimbuna]

What's the best thing about living in Switzerland? The flag is a big plus.

[Jimbuna]

When I try on an outfit and it doesn't make me look good, I just throw it on the floor. Like, no, you don't deserve to be hung up, think about what you've done.

[Jimbuna]

If anyone needs an ark, I happen to Noah guy.

[Jimbuna]

If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off?

[Jimbuna]

Dear Santa, this year I'd like a fat bank account, and a thin body... please don't confuse the two like you did last time.

[Jimbuna]

It's alright if you don't agree with me... I can't force you to be right.

[Catfish]

Putin thinks liberals should stop dictating to people how to live.
Conceptually confused as we are, we have so far thought that they are autocrats who dictate to people how to live.

[Jimbuna]

Why is Monday so far from Friday, and Friday so close to Monday?

[Catfish]

If at first you don't succeed, redefine success and celebrate your victory.

[Catfish]

Eagles may soar,
but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines.

[Aktungbby]

If at first you don't succeed, redefine success and celebrate your victory.At 68...success is getting up in the morning; victory is climbing back into your own bed the evening of the same day!:arrgh!:

[vienna]

George Burns, when asked about his longevity, used to say "I wake up in the morning, put on my robe, go downstairs, get the morning paper. Then I got to the kitchen, prepare a martini and get out a cigar. I open the paper first to the obituaries. If I'm not listed in the obituaries, I drink the martini and light up the cigar. The rest of the day is gravy"...








<O>

[Aktungbby]

^YA FORGOT LOOKING IN THE MIRROR IN THE AM....IF U THINK THAT'S DADDY LOOKING BACK, THEN TAKE YOUR ARACEPT BBY!:timeout:

[Jimbuna]

If I'm silent it's because there's thunder inside me. Or I'm just chilling, may the odds be in your favour.

[Jimbuna]

I might wake up early and do some exercise, or I might win the lotto, the odds are the same.

[Eichhörnchen]

https://i.imgur.com/rabS4Gt.jpg Whack! Game on

[Eisenwurst]

Happy Bastille Day.


https://i.imgur.com/VuC0Xv8.gif

[Jimbuna]

The only thing you have to fear is fear itself... and spiders.

[Jimbuna]

Alcohol doesn't make you fat, it makes you lean... against tables, chairs and walls.

[Jimbuna]

I made a huge to do list for today. I just can't figure out who's going to do it.

[Jimbuna]

Have some patience, I'm screwing things up as fast as possible.

[Jimbuna]

Seeing a spider in my room isn't scary. It's scary when it disappears.