This is the comment thread!

[STEED]

I see Farther Jack liked my gift to him. :)

https://38.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m0guddEXJC1qbcb48o1_250.gif

[Eichhörnchen]

Today as my wife eased herself out of the car (she has a painful foot) I put my finger in my cheek and made a loud popping sound. I did it again when we got home.

I don't know how many more times I'll be able to do this before she starts making loud popping sounds on my head with her fist...

[Jimbuna]

I'm wondering how this thread has lasted so long.

[Eichhörnchen]

My son has the Simpsons Movie on in the next room; Homer says to Marge: "I just try to make the day not hurt until I get to crawl in next to you again..."

[Jimbuna]

Now I know.

[STEED]

I wonder if the whole human race farted altogether for a hour then lit a match would it be the end of the world? :hmmm: :haha: :03:

[Fubar2Niner]

I wonder if the whole human race farted altogether for a hour then lit a match would it be the end of the world? :hmmm: :haha: :03:

LMAO...... I wonder if we all faced the same direction if it would blow the earth out of orbit :arrgh!:

Best regards.

Fubar2Niner

[STEED]

LMAO...... I wonder if we all faced the same direction if it would blow the earth out of orbit :arrgh!:

Best regards.

Fubar2Niner

:har: :har: :har: :har:

[STEED]

Why are people so dam pie high today? :hmmm:

Something in the water? :hmmm:

[Tango589]

They're still drunk after last night.:()1:

[Fubar2Niner]

How long does it take to drink yourself out of a hangover ?

Best regards.

Fubar2Niner

[Jimbuna]

How long does it take to drink yourself out of a hangover ?

Best regards.

Fubar2Niner

I reckon I should have the answer to that before the evening is out.

[Fubar2Niner]

I think I'm getting there Jim, just got to remember to pull in the reins. Work tomorrow :/\\!!

Best regards

Fubar2Niner

[Lionclaw]

Is it me or do eyebrows grow quicker when you get older? :hmmm:

And I noticed a few years ago that I started getting hairgrowth from my ears.
What is the function of such hair? :haha:

Thirty years old last year, I guess it's downhill from here on out. :O:

[Tango589]

Is it me or do eyebrows grow quicker when you get older? :hmmm:

And I noticed a few years ago that I started getting hairgrowth from my ears.
What is the function of such hair? :haha:

Thirty years old last year, I guess it's downhill from here on out. :O:
Sadly, it comes to us all. Ear hair, nose hair, expanding eye brows. Just to add insult to injury, my temples have started to go grey. My wife kept telling me but I didn't believe her until she pulled one out and showed me!:o

Ce'st la vie...

[Aktungbby]

Why do they say pair of pants...when you're only wearing one?:timeout:

[Lionclaw]

Probably due to the pair of legs. :O: :D

[Sailor Steve]

Why do they say pair of pants...when you're only wearing one?:timeout:
Because there are two equal and opposite legs. Same with a pair of scissors, a pair of glasses and a pair of tweezers.
http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/502/why-do-we-say-a-pair-of-pants-when-theres-only-one-of-them

The author does bring up the interesting question of a pair of panties (or a pair of briefs), since they consist of one small piece with no legs at all.

It's funny that my original reply was that pantaloons consisted of two separate legs tied together and covered at the center with a codpiece, but that turns out to be untrue. Pants and trousers have always been attached in a similar fashion to the way they are now. The 'two-piece' seems to have been a passing fad.

[Eichhörnchen]

Is it me or do eyebrows grow quicker when you get older? :hmmm:

And I noticed a few years ago that I started getting hairgrowth from my ears.
What is the function of such hair? :haha:

Thirty years old last year, I guess it's downhill from here on out. :O:


http://i.imgur.com/vx6XjSa.png?1

"There is no need for any man to suffer the embarrassment of hair anywhere above the neckline: in addition to your preferred razor, a good serviceable pair of cosmetic tweezers is all that's needed."

[Wolferz]

Is a turtle without a shell naked, homeless or both:hmmm:?

[Betonov]

Is a turtle without a shell naked, homeless or both:hmmm:?


Dead, so it doesn't really care

[Eichhörnchen]

Buy her something you really want yourself for Christmas... except she already thought of it and did it to ME!

Among some things I did actually want came a plaque with a Santa face on it. Instead of asking: "What in God's name did you give me this for?" I smiled sweetly and thanked her. I've a good mind to put it on the front of the car and say that since it's mine I can do whatever the hell I want with it...

[Aktungbby]

Buy her something you really want yourself for Christmas... except she already thought of it and did it to ME!

Among some things I did actually want came a plaque with a Santa face on it. Instead of asking: "What in God's name did you give me this for?" I smiled sweetly and thanked her. I've a good mind to put it on the front of the car and say that since it's mine I can do whatever the hell I want with it...

You need help! you're a passive aggressive possibly of the "circuitous subcategory "Opposition displayed in a roundabout, labyrinthine, and ambiguous manner, e.g., procrastination, dawdling, forgetfulness, inefficiency, neglect, stubbornness, indirect and devious in venting resentment and resistant behaviors." It's also a facet of 'Minnesota Nice'! :har: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minnesota_nice (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minnesota_nice) More of a Jungian than a Freudian thing.:woot:

[Eichhörnchen]

I plead guilty to all of the above. But that "Minnesota Nice" thing: that's interesting; over here we just call that being British...

[Aktungbby]

I plead guilty to all of the above. But that "Minnesota Nice" thing: that's interesting; over here we just call that being British...

It's actually a 'coping mechanism' in any marriage: A: SWMBO picked you ; B: you weren't her first choice; C: she's smarter then you(you're actually her first child and she knows you better than u know yourself); so being a passive aggressive is actually offset warfare...keep your schnorkel up at all times!:D

[Aktungbby]

Sailor Steve: The 'two-piece' seems to have been a passing fad. A real 'pairadox' it seems:D One has a brace of pistols or a brace of hounds... a brace of leggings (injun style) if sufficiently starched could very well brace you up if you've imbibed too many Hamm's bracers(technically the libation after the morning Eye-opener) and are treadin' heavy in yer moccasins....http://ep.yimg.com/ca/I/goldmountainmining_2270_318879977 (http://ep.yimg.com/ca/I/goldmountainmining_2268_112074450)

[Tango589]

I've a good mind to put it on the front of the car and say that since it's mine I can do whatever the hell I want with it...
We want pictures!!:yeah:
It's actually a 'coping mechanism' in any marriage: A: SWMBO picked you ; B: you weren't her first choice; C: she's smarter then you(you're actually her first child and she knows you better than u know yourself); so being a passive aggressive is actually offset warfare...keep your schnorkel up at all times!:D
Truer words have seldom been spoken...:-?

[Eichhörnchen]

A real 'pairadox' it seems:D One has a brace of pistols or a brace of hounds... a brace of leggings (injun style) if sufficiently starched could very well brace you up if you've imbibed too many Hamm's bracers(technically the libation after the morning Eye-opener) and are treadin' heavy in yer moccasins....http://ep.yimg.com/ca/I/goldmountainmining_2270_318879977 (http://ep.yimg.com/ca/I/goldmountainmining_2268_112074450)

Don't forget a brace of pheasants; but why, then, do we say a pair of bollocks, since they also are mostly used for sport?

[Aktungbby]

We want pictures!!:yeah:

For all contingencies behind the wheel!:O: http://mexicoretold.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/st-jude-taxi.jpg?w=559&h=391
http://www.theblaze.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/600x4501.jpghttp://www.luckymojo.com/saint-barbara-car-statue.jpg and my favorite-(he's getting his point acrosshttp://www.luckymojo.com/saint-michael-archangel-car-statue.jpg ST Michael

[Aktungbby]

Don't forget a brace of pheasants; but why, then, do we say a pair of bollocks, since they also are mostly used for sport?

The Brace of Pheasant Inn at plush Dorchester! Some background for a spaniel painting?; I prefer Yoke of Oxen myself out of deference to those :subsim: er's still in boy soprano choirs! or otherwise undescended...as with our beloved Führer??!Talk about a lone-nut theory! We must B PC...And in this case more Freudian than Jungian!!!:D http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/881/did-hitler-have-only-one-testicle (http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/881/did-hitler-have-only-one-testicle) http://exp.cdn-hotels.com/hotels/5000000/4190000/4185900/4185837/4185837_1_y.jpg

[Eichhörnchen]

What a lovely place: it looks rather like a giant "Stollen" cake with windows...

http://i.imgur.com/7MOGEtw.png?1

Nice...

[Tango589]

Thought of an easy way to test who really is your best friend, the wife or the dog. Lock them both in your car boot for an hour, then notice who is pleased to see you when you open it again.:yeah:

[Jeff-Groves]

:o
You are a sick, sick man.
I like it!
:har:

[Eichhörnchen]

http://i.imgur.com/4aEjKtJ.png?1


I've just been in the Ant-Man thread and I got to wondering: As ants are very small, do their Christmases seem like twenty years apart to them?

[Tango589]

Mars is the only planet in our solar system solely populated by functioning robots.

[Tango589]

There should be a company that rents puppies to people with hangovers for the day. Nothing makes you feel better than playing with a puppy.

[STEED]

Mars is the only planet in our solar system solely populated by functioning robots.

That is dribble, everyone knows Mars is populated with three breasted martian women. Just ask jim, he got pics. :03:

[Tango589]

Just ask jim, he got pics. :03:
PM'd him, awaiting reply...:hmmm:

[STEED]

PM'd him, awaiting reply...:hmmm:

He has some sexy X-rays as well....weird. :o

[Armistead]

There should be a company that rents puppies to people with hangovers for the day. Nothing makes you feel better than playing with a puppy.

Sadly, there are, not so much drunks, but companies exist that pass puppies around from home to home on rental basis

[Eichhörnchen]

http://i.imgur.com/Xvzy0C5.jpg?1


"Hmmmm.... I vunder vot vould happen if I vent into politics?"

[Jimbuna]

PM'd him, awaiting reply...:hmmm:

PM inbound :smug:

[Tango589]

Courtesy of Jimbuna:

http://i298.photobucket.com/albums/mm260/tango589/article-2174916-1417A805000005DC-300_634x983.jpg

[Aktungbby]

http://i.imgur.com/Xvzy0C5.jpg?1


"Hmmmm.... I vunder vot vould happen if I vent into politics?"

Actually politics is 'venting'... nicht vünder aboot it!!:hmmm: :huh: :stare: :/\\!! :woot:

[Aktungbby]

Courtesy of Jimbuna:

http://i298.photobucket.com/albums/mm260/tango589/article-2174916-1417A805000005DC-300_634x983.jpg
C'est le Décolletage et trois d' Martien! Voilá !:|\\

[Wolferz]

Hoe does that gal feed triplets? She only has two arms.:O:

[Eichhörnchen]

http://i.imgur.com/kuYRvox.png?1

"I was just having a scratch and I thought: I wonder which of our threads has been the quickest to capsize and sink? Subsim Against Humanity is in with a good chance, and I've had quite a few notable failures myself. I guess that's what they meant by 'degrading the environment'. Which was your favourite turkey?"

[Eichhörnchen]

Reading some of the posts in "what are you doing in real life", concerning back-to-front writing, it occurs to me that anyone who is named "Esra" has had a cruel trick played on them by their parents.

[ReallyDedPoet]

:-)

[Eichhörnchen]

When she's immersed in a real tear-jerker, wait for the powerful scene where father and son finally fall on one anothers' necks or whatever, leave it until things just reach that agonising tipping-point and her eyes have filled with tears; choose that special moment to make a loud gulping noise.

I have to be the other side of the room for this one.

[fireftr18]

Did the O'Connels (from the Mummy movies) know Indiana Jones?

[Tango589]

If rockets are propelled by the combustion of liquid hydrogen and liquid oxygen, are they fundamentally steam powered?

[Eichhörnchen]

My wife asked this: How come ghosts in films are usually wearing clothes? Clothes aren't spirits. Shouldn't they be bollock-naked?

[Tango589]

Yes, but that would lead to some appalling sights, because you very rarely get attractive ladies as ghosts. Mind you, if you did, I would be okay with being haunted!:up:

[Aktungbby]

My wife asked this: How come ghosts in films are usually wearing clothes? Clothes aren't spirits. Shouldn't they be bollock-naked?

Your wife is correct! in the Odyssey when in hades talking to his dead crewman, Elpenor, the shade of Elpenor is unclothed while Odysseus and the messenger Hermes are clothed...:D :/\\!! http://mfas3.s3.amazonaws.com/objects/SC12559.jpg

[Eichhörnchen]

Those Ancient Greeks were deep thinkers. I reckon I would've got on as an Ancient Greek, apart from the thinking bit, that is... I love all those Ray Harryhausen movies, see?

http://i.imgur.com/ysQL3tI.jpg

[Aktungbby]

Those Ancient Greeks were deep thinkers. I reckon I would've got on as an Ancient Greek, apart from the thinking bit, that is... I love all those Ray Harryhausen movies, see?

http://i.imgur.com/ysQL3tI.jpgMedusa is this one's daughter!http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/villains/images/3/3e/Ancient_Echidna.jpg/revision/latest/scale-to-width/250?cb=20121016022051

[Eichhörnchen]

Your wife is correct! in the Odyssey when in hades talking to his dead crewman, Elpenor, the shade of Elpenor is unclothed while Odysseus and the messenger Hermes are clothed...:D :/\\!! http://mfas3.s3.amazonaws.com/objects/SC12559.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/SfAAZ0x.jpg

"I say: what's a Greek urn?"

[Tango589]

http://i.imgur.com/SfAAZ0x.jpg

"I say: what's a Greek urn?"


About 3 euros an hour!

BOOM BOOM!

:haha:

:88)

[Eichhörnchen]

http://i.imgur.com/mC199ZR.jpg

I guessed you'd be the one to pick that up!

[Tango589]

You line 'em up, I'll knock 'em down!:salute:

[Aktungbby]

Yeah you Homered that one right outta the park!:smug: :rotfl2:

[Eichhörnchen]

Like a good batsman, he's always ready to Plato the crowd...

Random thought: be there a keep-fit DVD for buccaneers called "Pilates Of The Caribbean"?

[Aktungbby]

Random thought: be there a keep-fit DVD for buccaneers called "Pilates Of The Caribbean"?
There must be so their swash don't buckle:arrgh!:
http://www.christies.com/lotfinderimages/d56361/newell_convers_wyeth_the_duel_on_the_beach_d563614 0h.jpgWyeth: 'The duel on the Beach' $1,082,500 final hammer at Christies' auction:hmmm:

[Eichhörnchen]

http://i.imgur.com/P7SmEv3.jpg

I've always admired the work of American artist N. C. Wyeth: he covers the whole gamut of romantic history in the US (as well as Arthurian legend) with his beautiful paintings of the Frontier, the Home Front in WW2 and images of Christmas.

All you would-be mountain men should Google this name right away: you'll love him, too...

[Aktungbby]

Then there's his son Andrew and Helga! Toured his exhibit when it came to the Legion of honor museum in SF. http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/a/a2/Christinasworld.jpgNC Wyeth's illustration from (my copy) Treasure Island http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/c/c8/One_More_Step%2C_Mr._Hands.jpg/640px-One_More_Step%2C_Mr._Hands.jpg

[Eichhörnchen]

http://i.imgur.com/2xOMQvg.jpg

So I just posted Copland's "Appalachian Spring" on the music thread: had to really, didn't I?

[Jimbuna]

Another day, another $/£

[Eichhörnchen]

http://img.izismile.com/img/img2/20090728/hitler_04.gif (http://izismile.com/2009/07/28/hitler_in_gif_animations_18_gifs-4.html)

I was just wondering why Hitler hasn't appeared in this thread yet, so I checked and sure enough there he was (post #173). Guess who put him there?

[Aktungbby]

1) The universe just got a new speeding ticket.
The most precise measurement ever made of thespeedhttp://images.intellitxt.com/ast/adTypes/icon1.png (http://www.space.com/17884-universe-expansion-speed-hubble-constant.html#) of the universe's expansion (http://www.space.com/52-the-expanding-universe-from-the-big-bang-to-today.html) is in, thanks to NASA's Spitzer Space Telescope, and it's a doozy. Space itself is pulling apart at the seams, expanding at a rate of 74.3 plus or minus 2.1 kilometers (46.2 plus or minus 1.3 miles) per second per megaparsec (a megaparsec is roughly 3 million light-years). 2) orbital speed (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orbital_speed) averages about 30 km/s (67,000 mph), which is fast enough to cover the planet's diameter in seven minutes and the distance to the moon in four hours... 3) The Milky Way: We are moving at an average velocity of 828,000 km/hr. But even at that high rate, it still takes us about 230 million years to make one complete orbit around the Milky Way! 4) The earth turns on its axis: a spot on the surface of the Earth is moving at 1675 km/h or 465 meters/second. That’s 1,040 miles/hour. in a 23.93 hr day :know: Why does my bucket-list include a Ferrari?! when I'm already corkscrewing my way thru the space-time continuum at an astronomic velocity? :doh: :hmmm: http://content.worldcarfans.co/2007/9/medium/3070912.004_1082big.jpg Well, I'd look kool:rock::03:

[Eichhörnchen]

http://i.imgur.com/mHIm0dL.jpg

They must be feeling a whole lot better now...:D

Random thought of the day:

Would Yul Brynner worry more about having bald tyres at this time of year?

[Jimbuna]

Will it be an Indian or a Chinese tonight? :hmmm:

[Eichhörnchen]

Those very posh English names with a weird pronunciation (Cholmondley=Chumley, Bicester=Bister, Trottiscliffe=Trossley etc) well I just saw a Realtors sign outside a cottage which read "BELVOIR!" (the exclamation point was in there too): I asked my wife whether they maybe have signs saying that outside posh brothels...

BELVOIR = BEAVER

[Aktungbby]

I asked my wife whether they maybe have signs saying that outside posh brothels...

Well there are signs...but how posh is this in your stock portfolio:D http://www.uscoles.com/phoot/mustangcerts.jpg

http://www.mountainproject.com/images/72/32/107167232_medium_1262ca.jpgOf some interest in the posh department: http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2014/09/04/mustang-ranch-gilman-tesla-gigafactory-nevada/15096853/ (http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2014/09/04/mustang-ranch-gilman-tesla-gigafactory-nevada/15096853/) :arrgh!:

[Eichhörnchen]

http://i.imgur.com/Tr0pyLy.jpg

Why don't people mind being called "animal-lovers"? But do some livestock farmers maybe start to loosen their collars when this phrase gets bandied about?

[Eichhörnchen]

On a less frivolous note, I just found this post by nutworld whilst wandering through the byways of Subsim:
http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/showpost.php?p=2100386&postcount=1

and thought it well worth repeating...:up:

[Eichhörnchen]

http://i.imgur.com/mzjOSAz.jpg

Just occurred to me whilst looking at the figures in GT's: more people now care about what animals go to see at the movies than they do what happened 100 years ago in history or what beautiful women are looking like...

[Aktungbby]

http://i.imgur.com/mzjOSAz.jpg

Just occurred to me whilst looking at the figures in GT's: more people now care about what animals go to see at the movies than they do what happened 100 years ago in history or what beautiful women are looking like...
That's 'cause I can't handle grey-eyed blonds:Dhttp://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/14/Orangutan_-Zoologischer_Garten_Berlin-8a.jpg/640px-Orangutan_-Zoologischer_Garten_Berlin-8a.jpg

[Wolferz]

http://i.imgur.com/Tr0pyLy.jpg

Why don't people mind being called "animal-lovers"? But do some livestock farmers maybe start to loosen their collars when this phrase gets bandied about?

Just the sheep herders.:O::har:

[Tango589]

What if lawn mowers are so loud because they have to cover the screams of the grass being massacred?

[Wolferz]

Farts only stink for the benefit of those who didn't hear it.

[Jimbuna]

Why is it that everyone driving faster than you is considered an idiot and everyone driving slower than you is a moron?

[Eichhörnchen]

http://i.imgur.com/iHIqV9t.jpg

"Did anyone else think I looked like I was in The Simpsons? Holy See! Eat My Shorts!"

[Harvs]

Time flies like an arrow
Fruit flies like a banana

[Jimbuna]

How do you handcuff a one-armed man?

[Harvs]

How do you handcuff a one-armed man?

Handcuff his arm to his leg.

[Eichhörnchen]

Hello, Harvs... nice to see another Aussie aboard.

[Harvs]

Hi wheelbarrow with an E and cheers, but im only a paper Aussie, was born in Scotland but been here 42 years so I think I qualify, I will never not be a Scot though.

Here is one for you all, where on a ship would you find a spar lash?

[Jimbuna]

Hi wheelbarrow with an E and cheers, but im only a paper Aussie, was born in Scotland but been here 42 years so I think I qualify, I will never not be a Scot though.

Here is one for you all, where on a ship would you find a spar lash?

In boating circles, a "spar lash" is a type of guy line that connects rigging without nails.
"Lash" is from the Danish "laska" meaning to stitch or fasten.
A "spar" is a rounded pole of wood or metal used to support rigging.

[Harvs]

In boating circles, a "spar lash" is a type of guy line that connects rigging without nails.
"Lash" is from the Danish "laska" meaning to stitch or fasten.
A "spar" is a rounded pole of wood or metal used to support rigging.

Hmmm the spar lash that I know is at the pointy end of the anchor.

[Jeff-Groves]

How do you handcuff a one-armed man?

Handcuff.
http://www.thegreenhead.com/imgs/titanium-working-handcuff-ring-3.jpg

Handcuffs.
http://halloweencostumes.costumestore.com/103149_01_Lg.jpg

[Eichhörnchen]

http://i.imgur.com/SMfOe79.jpg?1

"What happens if a spider needs the toilet an' its hangin' upside-down by its nipsy?"

[Aktungbby]

harvs!:Kaleun_Salute:http://i.imgur.com/iHIqV9t.jpg

"Did anyone else think I looked like I was in The Simpsons? Holy See! Eat My Shorts!"WRONG SHOW IMHO!:haha:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/9/93/Coneheads_Poster.jpg/220px-Coneheads_Poster.jpg (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Coneheads_Poster.jpg)

[Tango589]

I've just found out the correct pronunsciation of 'Eichhornchen'. Up until now, I've lazily been pronouncing it as 'Ikehornen'. Who am I kidding, I'll still pronounce it like that coz it's easier!:yeah:

[Eichhörnchen]

That's because you an Englander are...

[Sailor Steve]

I've just found out the correct pronunsciation of 'Eichhornchen'. Up until now, I've lazily been pronouncing it as 'Ikehornen'. Who am I kidding, I'll still pronounce it like that coz it's easier!:yeah:
And the correct pronunciation is???

[Tango589]

And the correct pronunciation is???
'Ike-hern-chen'

Although, the 'Ike' should have a more throaty 'dislodging the phlegm' sound to it.:D

Here:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KbJiKmv6vhY

[Aktungbby]

And the correct pronunciation is???My god man! As you are generally held to be in charge of dotting the i's ,Crossing the T's (in a literary sense) and hyphenating Democrat-Republicans...4 which we are grateful;:up: should you not also insure that O's are umlaut'd as well?? Let's be consistent: It's Eichhörnchen :O: I wonder if during the Battle of the Bulge, Skorzeny's disguised saboteur troops (operation GRIEF) weren't asked to say "Squirrel" in addition to what baseball team wears pinstripes!https://timelifeblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/25_00732806.jpg?w=617Ya shoulda just said 'squirrel' Kamerad! :nope: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Greif (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Greif)

[Eichhörnchen]

They'd probably have given themselves away by pronouncing it correctly. (huuuuh?)

The Germans did, it's been said, ask suspected spies to use the word eichhörnchen, knowing full well that not many foreigners could pronounce it.



(PS: I can now get an umlaut into my keyboard text, thanks to Joefour, but I haven't been able to change my forum title... could Steve fix that for me then?)

[Sailor Steve]

Sorry. Only Neal can change peoples' names.

[Harvs]

The man credited with writing the song "do the hokey pokey" sadly passed away last week,although it was already a tragic time for the family they were left devastated by the resulting chaos at the funeral home when they tried to put him in his coffin, they put his left leg in first and things proceeded to go downhill from there.

[soopaman2]

The sun never sets on the British Empire.

I mean seriously, you guys need to sleep. 24 hours of sun would be a nuisance, and would cause massive global effects of weather, if one spot got all the sun, all the time.

I love you guys, you bore my great nation from your womb, and now sit proudly, and in fear of your terrible child cut in your mold, but you have to stop hogging up all the sun. It is cold as (expletive deleted) here, and still snowing once a week, and I am sick of it.

STOP HOGGING UP ALL THE GOSHDAMMITFREAKING SUN BRITAIN!!!:nope:

[Eichhörnchen]

http://i.imgur.com/3TkfV5t.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/Ro3HJ36.jpg No rickets here...

[soopaman2]

http://i.imgur.com/3TkfV5t.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/Ro3HJ36.jpg No rickets here...

That's a mighty German name you have, you going to take them over and steal all the sun?

Your army, the American Navy and drones/ cruise missiles, we can get those bastards good.

Just give me the word, and I will text President Obama and tell him to mobilize the drones, and institute a draft.. We can go Stalingrad on them, encircle and destroy.

Hogging up all the damn sun! An absolute outrage! I demand recompense!

[Eichhörnchen]

I wonder if during the Battle of the Bulge, Skorzeny's disguised saboteur troops (operation GRIEF) weren't asked to say "Squirrel" in addition to what baseball team wears pinstripes! Ya shoulda just said 'squirrel' Kamerad!

HANG ON just one cotton-pickin' minute... you lot can't say "squirrel" either: don't you call 'em "squirls"? So... if the real GI's caught some fake GI's, made them say "squirrel" and they said "squirrel", they'd have shot them because they didn't say "squirl", right?

@ soopaman2: on the subject of secret-agents, you need to be careful, chum, 'cos I am one:http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/image.php?u=329818&dateline=1421583619&type=profile (I'm a Brit, not German, see? Confused? You should be...)

[Sailor Steve]

I think the point being missed here is that the British Empire disappeared long ago, and since The Sun never sets on the British Empire, said Empire obviously took The Sun with it. Wherever the British Empire, and The Sun, may be now, it's definitely not anywhere near Britain. In fact they complain about never seeing The Sun, so complaints about them hogging it are sorely misplaced. :O:

[Wolferz]

And the correct pronunciation is???

It's pronounced... Mud.
That rhymes with pud.
As a Squirl, his pud is always in the mud.

If he had a flat tail he'd be a Beaver.:O:

[soopaman2]

I think the point being missed here is that the British Empire disappeared long ago, and since The Sun never sets on the British Empire, said Empire obviously took The Sun with it. Wherever the British Empire, and The Sun, may be now, it's definitely not anywhere near Britain. In fact they complain about never seeing The Sun, so complaints about them hogging it are sorely misplaced. :O:

Then why is it almost March and 20 degrees colder, always windy, and snowing every 5 days.

Who the hell stole the sun?!

I am violating the Logan Act of 1799 by asking any foreign power to help us claim the sun from Britain in the name of liberty. She has a lot of so called commonwealths all over the globe as well as former colonies, it can be anywhere.

If Spring is restored, then me and my men will stand down.

If not,...Get ready to pay Britain.:nope:

[Eichhörnchen]

Sorry. Only Neal can change peoples' names.

Well if he can't do me an Eichhörnchen, maybe I could have a Eichhhttp://www.easyfreesmileys.com/smileys/free-sexy-smileys-940.gif (http://www.easyfreesmileys.com/get-smiley/940.html)rnchen instead?

[Jimbuna]

I'm wondering if I'll ever get the two minutes of life back I wasted readontg the previous two pages.

[Betonov]

When I die I want to be crammed into the furnace of a steam engine and cremated there and then thrown out of the smokestack into the surrounding countryside

[STEED]

Sex is over rated I got it down to 20 minutes now, more drinking time. :arrgh!:

^That was said by a mate on mind right in front of his wife! :o

I made a quick exit, nothing in the local newspapers yet. :hmmm:

[Eichhörnchen]

http://i.imgur.com/iHIqV9t.jpg


"I'm jolly well fed up with people saying I look like I should be in The Simpsons, so I'm going for a facial to make me look more dignified, as befits my calling..."

The next day:

http://i.imgur.com/rTfWjod.jpg

"Oy, Caramba!"

[Eichhörnchen]

I missed this thread. The GT of GT

A very apt description and so did I: by a whole year. My only comment would be that we now have "Random Thought", but can't they live together, side by side? Isn't there room in the World for both of them?

[Tango589]

This thread is news to me as well! The two can be merged if necessary, there's no need to have 2 threads for gibberish floating round...

[Eichhörnchen]

SHUT! UP SHUT UP! Don't say that: I was hoping we'd get TWO threads where I can post my rubbish...

[Tango589]

What do you mean? You post your rubbish anywhere you can!:woot:

[Harvs]

If a man states an opinion and there is no woman to hear it, is he still wrong?

[Tango589]

When I die, they can harvest my organs for anything still within its best before date, then whatever's left gets donated to science. They can tie helium balloons to my wedding tackle and float me into space if the feel like it!


Also, did Groucho Marx ever have to wear a disguise?

[Eichhörnchen]

http://i.imgur.com/O54bOfS.jpg

"Gollocks!"

[Eichhörnchen]

Isn't this the stoopidest ventriloquist's dummy you ever saw?

http://i.imgur.com/eDwrBPd.jpg

"That's ngot a kind hing to say..."

[Jimbuna]

http://i.imgur.com/O54bOfS.jpg

"Gollocks!"

Precisely, threads merged.

[Oberon]

I think the point being missed here is that the British Empire disappeared long ago, and since The Sun never sets on the British Empire, said Empire obviously took The Sun with it. Wherever the British Empire, and The Sun, may be now, it's definitely not anywhere near Britain. In fact they complain about never seeing The Sun, so complaints about them hogging it are sorely misplaced. :O:

I saw The Sun this afternoon, on the newspaper stand. :hmmm: I don't see what all the fuss is about to be honest. :hmmm:

[Eichhörnchen]

I've just found out the correct pronunsciation of 'Eichhornchen'. Up until now, I've lazily been pronouncing it as 'Ikehornen'. Who am I kidding, I'll still pronounce it like that coz it's easier!:yeah:

Now all you need to do is find out how to spell the word "pronunciation"

[Tango589]

Now all you need to do is find out how to spell the word "pronunciation"
Damn tryping errorts.:nope:

[Aktungbby]

I'm wondering if I'll ever get the two minutes of life back I wasted readontg the previous two pages.

If a man states an opinion and there is no woman to hear it, is he still wrong?

!tserof eht ni daeh sih no sllaf eert a fi ylnO...:O:

[Eichhörnchen]

I'm regularly amused by the buzzwords and slogans invented by politicians. Listening to the BBC News just now, I heard a government minister say that a "whistle-blowing portal" would be set up.

Haven't I already got one of those?

[Jimbuna]

Carrots may be good for a human's eyesight, but they are excellent for a snowman's sense of smell.

[Eichhörnchen]

NOT FUNNY?http://i.imgur.com/oT7AmfK.jpg


There's obviously a circus coming to our town 'cos I keep seeing their vans with a big clown's face all over them. Well I never found circus clowns funny, not even as a kid. Continually falling on your backside and chucking buckets of confetti over the audience just doesn't do it for me.

My wife and I sometimes imagine TV sketches we'd like to see, but which haven't been done yet, and my ideal clown sketch might show:

Clown standing between two large crates about twenty feet apart. Dwarf pops out from one, runs up behind clown and kicks him in the jacksy. There follows the usual gormless hopping about, rubbing of sore backside: so far so ordinary. Clown turns round but of course the dwarf is back in his box by now. Dozy clown scratches his stupid head. Kids in crowd go mental.

Out from the other crate pops another dwarf; runs up, kicks clown in the jacksy. Clown, rubbing backside, faces audience who are yelling "He's behind you..." Clown turns round: no-one there.

Meanwhile, dwarf 1 pops out of his box again, runs up, kick clown up the bum, clown with wretched imploring face still not able to turn round in time to catch sight of the dwarf who's vanished back into his crate.

Dwarf 2 pops out again, this time kids in audience screaming and pointing "There! There!" Clown turns round as dwarf is beginning his run-up; Clown with big vacant smile on face just before dwarf arrives in target zone and kicks him FULL IN THE CROTCH.

Now I'd pay to see that...

[Eichhörnchen]

Yes, but that would lead to some appalling sights, because you very rarely get attractive ladies as ghosts. Mind you, if you did, I would be okay with being haunted!:up:

I just read this: you need to see someone...

[Eichhörnchen]

http://i.imgur.com/N0oysDx.jpg

Did you ever see such a beautiful face? The thing that is so poignant to me is that this lovely gaze can no longer be seen in the world, except in old photographs. She'd be 132 years old now...

I had a random thought one day while walking through Spalding with my wife and it came back to me today while I was looking at pictures of some of these bygone lovelies. I was still quite young, and as we passed a club (with music and the sound of folk having a good time coming from within) I pointed and said "I could have any woman in the place..." She looked over at the sign by the door. It said: "Afternoon Tea Dance"

[Aktungbby]

IMHO: It's not possible to have random thoughts whilst gazing at bygone lovelies!:haha: http://imagecache6.allposters.com/LRG/45/4546/TDDDG00Z.jpg (http://affiliates.allposters.com/link/redirect.asp?item=6777624&AID=2016975061&PSTID=1&LTID=2&lang=1) They're still makin' movies about this one! after 3,330 years! Helen of Troy! http://imagecache6.allposters.com/LRG/17/1738/A6Y3D00Z.jpg (http://affiliates.allposters.com/link/redirect.asp?item=1866909&AID=2016975061&PSTID=1&LTID=2&lang=1) even after ten years of misery, her Hubby took her back! the movie got that part wrong!:know:

[Tango589]

IMHO: It's not possible to have random thoughts whilst gazing at any lovelies!:haha:

True, my thoughts tend to be very specific!:D

[Jimbuna]

Is doing a handstand holding the entire world in your hands? :hmmm:

[STEED]

If life is so damn good why dose the human race like misery more. :hmmm:

[Eichhörnchen]

I do like a good fried egg sandwich

[Harvs]

I do like a good fried egg sandwich

Bacon, egg, cheese and onion toasted sandwich and also a Peanut butter, banana and jam sandwich.

[Fubar2Niner]

Do they have toilets in tower cranes :hmmm:

[Tango589]

Do they have toilets in tower cranes :hmmm:
Modern ones do. On older ones, you either hold on, use one of these

http://i298.photobucket.com/albums/mm260/tango589/logo.png

or if it's more serious, one of these:

http://i298.photobucket.com/albums/mm260/tango589/shindig-ice-bucket.jpg

Oh what a lovely life!

[Jimbuna]

If life is so damn good why dose the human race like misery more. :hmmm:

Because the miserable ones get all the press coverage.

[Tango589]

When you say the word 'poop' your mouth does the same motion as your butt hole. The same can be said for the phrase 'explosive diarrhoea'.

:D

[Eichhörnchen]

I don't think we got around to "butt-hole" in Nobby's Easy Translator. This is an American expression. I prefer "nipsy" or "brown starfish"

[nikimcbee]

Fish-n-chips were great today.:woot:

[Fubar2Niner]

....................."brown starfish"


Chocolate sir......... Surely chocolate !

[Eichhörnchen]

You're absolutely correct of course: I was getting my bumholes mixed up. I should have said "chocolate starfish", but somehow confused this with either "brown daisy" or "brown bullet-hole"

[Jimbuna]

Enough of the potty mouth talk if you'd all be so kind.

SubSim is meant to be family friendly.

[STEED]

Enough of the potty mouth talk if you'd all be so kind.

SubSim is meant to be family friendly.

The Young Ones - Vyvyan Hates the Good Life :O:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bomygz1Ygkk

[Eichhörnchen]

"DOWNFALL"

http://i.imgur.com/ESr9pgO.jpg?1 http://i.imgur.com/gWxUD8o.jpg?1 "Eeeeech!"

How come in almost every still from "Downfall", Bruno Ganz looks like Hitler on the bog? (More to follow...)



http://i.imgur.com/1RFS6Ta.jpg?1 "Ach! Sauerkraut: it's ze only thing that dares to disagree with me!"



http://i.imgur.com/s7IqhLT.jpg?1 "Mein Gott... my Harold Lloyds are chafing so! I should eat more fibre!"


http://i.imgur.com/adKiLTz.jpg?1 "Aaaach! Mein farmers! Mein farmers!" http://i.imgur.com/0wm6yL9.jpg?1 "Ach ist Weh mich... zis ring-cycle seems to go on forever..."



http://i.imgur.com/WqRcjJF.jpg?1 "Grosse Himmel! After all I've been through, after all we've endured, these bum-nuts will be my downfall..."

[Eichhörnchen]

HAPPY EASTER !

[Eichhörnchen]

http://i.imgur.com/0tGUXbY.jpg

I thought for a moment today it might be nice to have a Ventriloquists' Song Book, containing such titles as Glue Suede Shoes and Ge-Gok A Lula. But then I changed my mind.

(PS to Schroeder: please don't ask me why I thought this might be nice...)

[Aktungbby]

Glue Suede Shoes and Ge-Gok A Lula. But then I changed my mind.

You can't change what you don't have!:D

http://dangerousminds.net/content/uploads/images/000093ad_big.jpeg Mein Gott there's no umlaut in that Eichhörnchen!:03:

[Eichhörnchen]

So what happened to the "women that you think are beautiful"? Are they maybe all down at the Bimbo Bakery working on their tans?

Anyway, that thread seems to be full of crossdressers...:D

[Eichhörnchen]

OK, so it's disappeared completely now; has this fallen foul of censors again? :hmmm:

[Wolferz]

So what happened to the "women that you think are beautiful"? Are they maybe all down at the Bimbo Bakery working on their tans?

Anyway, that thread seems to be full of crossdressers...:D

We guess that you would know since you put them all in there.:-?:timeout:

[Eichhörnchen]

http://i.imgur.com/Vk8UeZ2.jpg

[Jimbuna]

http://i.imgur.com/AkT6UDY.jpg

[STEED]

5 more years, dam it. :/\\!!

[donna52522]

No comment.

Oh wait, was that a comment?

Oooops, I know that ^ was, or does a question differ from a comment?

[Sailor Steve]

I don't have an answer to your question, or to your comment.

You're in good company, though. See Post #2.

[Eichhörnchen]

http://i.imgur.com/GtpCS85.jpg

Possible forthcoming star turn for the next Bilge Christmas party... or should that be be the Gilge... and also available for all kiddies' events, is "Vlad The Inhaler" (being an asthmatic has been a bit of a setback).

[Eichhörnchen]

http://i.imgur.com/eMhbzCJ.jpg "Have you seen it yet?"

[Betonov]

What's the deal with dogs and their unlimited desire to mark things with a limited capacity bladder

[Eichhörnchen]

Just think of the patience you'd need if your mutt also had an enlarged prostate...

[Jimbuna]

What's the deal with dogs and their unlimited desire to mark things with a limited capacity bladder

We as older folk generally do the same later in life :)

[Betonov]

Dogs, they're an enigma.


There's a saying in Slovenia: Če sveta Zofka zemlje ne poškropi, poletje kaj prida ni.

It means that if there's no rain on the may 15th (st. Sophia) the summer will be lousy and it's pouring like crazy :D

[Jimbuna]

^ That be folklore....or witchcraft :03:

[Betonov]

Folklore.
The entire years worth of weather could be forecasted by local farmers.
Like the one about green Christmas means white Easter.

[Jimbuna]

I'll stick to reading my tea leaves if that's okay :)

[Eichhörnchen]

Dogs, they're an enigma.

Aaaand, their enigmas should always be safely wrapped up in a plastic bag and placed inside a mysterious doggy bin.

http://i.imgur.com/F5q1ZWn.jpg?1?8155

[Betonov]

Would catching a live spider in my favourite pub and transporting it alive to one of my young trees to be used as a bio-pesticide make me insane or clever :hmmm:

[Eichhörnchen]

It would make you kind and painstaking.

Edit: Hang on: it probably also means you'd had a few in the pub:)

[flash_jp]

ya, no comment

[Betonov]

Edit: Hang on: it probably also means you'd had a few in the pub:)

One Radler only (it's beer with lemonade) :O:

[Jimbuna]

ya, no comment

Pardon?

[Aktungbby]

flash_jp!:Kaleun_Salute:

[Betonov]

Can anyone tell me what's this hat called that Ron is wearing ??

http://swansonquotes.com/wp-content/uploads/s02-ep10-tothehunt-1000x500.jpg

I want one for camping trips and hiking. Looks rainproof

[donna52522]

I buried a live puppy once, hoping I'd get a dog tree.....the cop said if I wasn't 6 years old I'd get a good spanking for it.

So I've been thinking about burying another puppy, because come on, who doesn't like a good spanking :D

[Eichhörnchen]

Can anyone tell me what's this hat called that Ron is wearing ??

It's called a silly hat.

[Jimbuna]

Can anyone tell me what's this hat called that Ron is wearing ??

I want one for camping trips and hiking. Looks rainproof

Can't say for sure Anze but there are a few possibilities here:

http://www.hatsandcaps.co.uk/hats-by-style-a_hats_by_style_lp/

Possibly a cowboy hat?

http://www.ebay.co.uk/bhp/mens-cowboy-hats-leather

[Jimbuna]

Bagpipes sound exactly the same when you have finished learning them as when you started.

[Betonov]

I hate the word ''cowboy hat''
In this uneducated nation of morons even a fedora is a cowboy hat.

@Jim, that first link is nice. Browsing trough the waterproof section and there are some nice outdoor pieces :up:

[Jimbuna]

I reckon you'd look pretty cool wearing one of these :cool:

http://www.hatsandcaps.co.uk/british-pith-helmet-p155801/

:03:

[Betonov]

God, I'd love a pith helmet. I might buy one just for the heck of it :)

[Aktungbby]

God, I'd love a pith helmet. I might buy one just for the heck of it https://img0.etsystatic.com/037/1/6119327/il_570xN.538776432_2wi9.jpgIn ALL conceivable circumstances!:oops:https://d3l2rivt3pqnj2.cloudfront.net/i/prints/lg/1/0/105163.jpg (https://d3l2rivt3pqnj2.cloudfront.net/i/prints/1000/kingandmcgaw/1/0/105163.jpg)

[Betonov]

I dare not wear the colors of the 24th regiment of foot.
Just googled it and it seems they had one hell of a reputation. There are things I haven't deserved.

[Jimbuna]

I dare not wear the colors of the 24th regiment of foot.
Just googled it and it seems they had one hell of a reputation. There are things I haven't deserved.

Aye, the 24th rank up there amongst the best :sunny:

[Betonov]

Parks and recreation is an excellent show, but it's best feature is the lack of a laugh track.

[HunterICX]

Having to do the reservation E-mails @work for a few days.....all I can say is
http://i.imgur.com/C3ePMF7.jpg?1

Followed by having to deal with fokes asking for the impossible or not making their minds up.
http://i.imgur.com/rb8Jbo7.jpg

[Betonov]

Torx screws are superior to phillips screws

[Sailor Steve]

I shot a comment in the air.
It landed in that thread over there.

[Jimbuna]

http://i.imgur.com/MAAV2u0.jpg

[Betonov]

What if Atlantis was in the middle of the Atlantic and when it sunk, the north atlantic conveyor started carrying warm water to the north and thus ended the ice age :hmmm:

[Oberon]

I dare not wear the colors of the 24th regiment of foot.
Just googled it and it seems they had one hell of a reputation. There are things I haven't deserved.

Dress as the 3rd Foot and Mouth Regiment.

https://youtu.be/i8atKXFZefA?t=178

What if Atlantis was in the middle of the Atlantic and when it sunk, the north atlantic conveyor started carrying warm water to the north and thus ended the ice age :hmmm:

I believe that a lot of current theories put Atlantis as being the island of Thera, which obliterated itself around 1600BC.

[Betonov]

I believe that a lot of current theories put Atlantis as being the island of Thera, which obliterated itself around 1600BC.

Santorini. I've been there. In 2005 me thinks. I was drunk and injured.

[Jimbuna]

Dress as the 3rd Foot and Mouth Regiment.

https://youtu.be/i8atKXFZefA?t=178





LOL :D

[Tango589]

Santorini. I've been there. In 2005 me thinks. I was drunk and injured.
Why am I not surprised?:()1:

[Eichhörnchen]

http://i.imgur.com/SMfOe79.jpg?1 "What's that smell? I think somebody's left the gas on"

[Jimbuna]

http://i.imgur.com/K2rI6eM.gif

[Eichhörnchen]

Has there ever been a thread in SubSim which drew ZERO views and ZERO replies?:hmmm::06:

[Sailor Steve]

No views? Almost certainly not.

No replies, on the other hand? I've started a few myself, and there have been may others that just didn't generate any interest.

[Aktungbby]

Has there ever been a thread in SubSim which drew ZERO views and ZERO replies?:hmmm::06:

No views? Almost certainly not.

No replies, on the other hand? I've started a few myself, and there have been may others that just didn't generate any interest.

CASE in Point! http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/showthread.php?t=214734 (http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/showthread.php?t=214734) &http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/showthread.php?t=216877 (http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/showthread.php?t=216877) 260+ plus views apiece--- no responses:Kaleun_Yawn:...I was crestfallen for a week!:Kaleun_Crying:

[Betonov]

That horible moment when you realise, that Manning now looks like your ex :dead:

[Eichhörnchen]

No views? Almost certainly not.

I'm wondering if it might be achievable as a new dismal record; I've also started threads which died on their backside, but at least some people read them first. I'll give it a try anyway... just nobody look at it, OK? Otherwise it's failed.

[magic452]

It appears to be a fail. :/\\!! :/\\!!
Nice try though. :yeah:

Magic

[Eichhörnchen]

Human nature, huh? What did you expect... and were you the first one to look?

[Eichhörnchen]

So now that the Animal Film Club has taken its last trip to the vet, and Bakers' Film Club returns but may be very near its sell-by date, I'm thinking how about a thread for Fishmongers' TV Show Favourites, such as "Peyton Plaice", or "Haddock"?

[Tango589]

I'm wondering if it might be achievable as a new dismal record; I've also started threads which died on their backside, but at least some people read them first. I'll give it a try anyway... just nobody look at it, OK? Otherwise it's failed.
Trying to gt a thread that no one replies to is like trying to hide the doomsday lever. You might put it at the back of the most inaccessible cave in the hardest to reach location, but the paint on the 'DOOMSDAY LEVER - DO NOT TOUCH' sign will not even be dry before someone does.:roll:

[Betonov]

Laughed out loud when my friend posted: when you realised your birthday is 9 months after your fathers :haha:

Then I started calculating.
My fathers birthday is in June. 9 months plus is February :o

Let me ad this: I was born 2 hours before march 1st which is my mother birthday.
I was concieved on my fathers and born (almost) on my mothers

[Eichhörnchen]

http://i.imgur.com/rwbJBY9.jpg "Whatever you do, Father Dougal, DO NOT PRESS THAT RED BUTTON!"

[Harvs]

China has the right way to deal with the rock spiders.

http://www.news.com.au/world/asia/teacher-li-jishun-in-china-executed-for-child-sex-abuse/story-fnh81fz8-1227376414476

[Eichhörnchen]

Think there's a problem with that link, Harvs.

[Tango589]

Yeah, that's not what I was expecting, unless 'rock spider' is a euphemism for something else.

[Jimbuna]

Laughed out loud when my friend posted: when you realised your birthday is 9 months after your fathers :haha:

Then I started calculating.
My fathers birthday is in June. 9 months plus is February :o

Let me ad this: I was born 2 hours before march 1st which is my mother birthday.
I was concieved on my fathers and born (almost) on my mothers

Looks like some folk obviously know how to make the most of their birthday celebrations :)

[Harvs]

Think there's a problem with that link, Harvs.

Sorry don't know whats going on there, the story was that he was a school teacher in China they executed him for tampering with little girls.

[Tango589]

Sorry don't know whats going on there, the story was that he was a school teacher in China they executed him for tampering with little girls.That was the story that was linked to, but we were expecting something involving actual spiders. Is 'rock spiders' a euphemism for pedophiles? Never heard that one before.:hmmm:

[Eichhörnchen]

What you want to talk about that stuff for, Harvs? You know me or him are going to say something non-pc and get in trouble...

[Harvs]

Sorry, will refrain from doing so in future :up:

[Aktungbby]

What you want to talk about that stuff for, Harvs? You know me or him are going to say something non-pc and get in trouble...

yes but look on the bright side; if you get an infraction, you can "take it like a man" :D Take it like a man, wait out your time, and when you return, try to avoid subjects that get you angry or distressed.

[Eisenwurst]

Nothing to do with pedos or executions, but there something that's been puzzling me for a long time.

Why do pirates speak with Somerset accents?

[Oberon]

Nothing to do with pedos or executions, but there something that's been puzzling me for a long time.

Why do pirates speak with Somerset accents?

I think you'll find that it's more Cornish than Somerset...after all, that's where Penzance is!

http://x3.cdn03.imgwykop.pl/c3201142/comment_6rCkaGdrotz5Ns7uSgLJqN0ioxnsrd6u.gif

[Eisenwurst]

Maybe it's just me ( I've taken a few depth charges to the head ), but I can't tell the difference between this lot and "The Wurzels" dialect/accent wise.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=yC_PR7YWQOc:arrgh!: (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yC_PR7YWQOc:arrgh!:)

[Eichhörnchen]

http://i.imgur.com/NF8xx5y.jpg "Ha-harrrr!"

You can thank Robert Newton for that...

[Tango589]

Nothing to do with pedos or executions, but there something that's been puzzling me for a long time.

Why do pirates speak with Somerset accents?
It's because a lot of pirates did originally come from that part of the country.

[Aktungbby]

INDEED!
http://dialectblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/blackbeard-260x300.jpg (http://dialectblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/blackbeard.jpg)
http://dialectblog.com/2011/05/24/pirate-accent/ (http://dialectblog.com/2011/05/24/pirate-accent/) :arrgh!::arrgh!::arrgh!:Arrrgh:O:

[Eichhörnchen]

If you want to hear a real West Countryman speak, then listen to this. The wonderful Phil Harding, archaeologist, appears in the Channel 4 TV series "Time Team", along with his colleague, the late great Mick Aston, as well as presenter Sir Tony Robinson (known for his role as Baldrick in the show "Black Adder").

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P9tvWEIw8rY

[Aktungbby]

https://www.cejavineyards.com/assets/client/Image/System-Emails/wine-drinking-pronounce-more-funny.png:O:

[fireftr18]

I always thought the pirate accent was from "the manner of speech" of merchant vessels of the time period.

[Jimbuna]

'Isn't it weird that, pirates never wear bikinis.'

[Tango589]

It's nigh on impossible to have a meaningful argument with someone when you're both bouncing on a trampoline.

[Eichhörnchen]

'Isn't it weird that, pirates never wear bikinis.'

I smell a trap.

[Jimbuna]

I smell a trap.

Or it could just be sheer coincidence there is fish on todays menu.

[Aktungbby]

http://www.dailyhaha.com/_pics/deductive-reasoning.jpg

[Tango589]

Pondering the deep questions with SWMBO last night, I decided the human body should be redesigned, as this one clearly has some major design flaws.

1) Swap the toes and knee caps, so you can't keep banging your toes on furniture.

2) Remove the brain from inside the head, where it can be subject to violent impact, to inside the chest cavity where it would be well protected by the rib cage. Move the lungs up into the head to make room, as these are less likely to be damaged by being banged around.

3) Increase the capability of vision, to take in infra-red, ultra violet and night vision.

and most importantly

4) Put the testicals up inside the body where they cannot get kicked, squashed, sat on or generally abused in any way. Make sure they have an efficient internal cooling mechanism to keep things running at optimal temperature.

[Harvs]

Just a tale from when i was working as an orderly at a veterans hospital in Perth Western Australia, i was on the dead run this day and was working with a bloke that had not been there long, we got a call for a pickup in ward 10 (cancer ward) and set off to pick him up.

We got there with the trolley and the other bloke had reservations about transferring him from bed to trolley but eventually he agreed to take the feet end ( the body is wrapped in a sheet with just a hand sticking out with a tag on it ).

We get him on the trolley, put the cover over and set off to the morgue through the corridors of the hospital, rounding a corner at the kitchen there is a bump then down a ramp to the lower end of the hospital.

I was at the front of the trolley and had the feet at my end and went over the bump first and started down the ramp, when the back of the trolley went over the bump the body let out some air sounding like lurch from the Adams family.

Then i noticed that my end was getting heavier so i told the bloke to put his shoe on the wheel to act as a brake, then i felt the back end of the trolley slipping left, i look around and the bloke is gone, off like a brides nightie.

I managed to get another orderly to help me the rest of the way to the morgue but this bloke was never seen again, that was back in the days when we got pay in cash, he never picked his up, i think he might still be running. :yep:

[Jimbuna]

^ Similarly.....received a call to go and examine a body for any signs of foul play prior to the arrival of the undertakers. Knocked on the door and was invited in by a grieving family member, walking toward the bedroom where the deceased was I viewed various family members in the lounge area consoling one another.

Entered bedroom accompanied by a family member, put clipboard, baton and radio on a nearby chair to facilitate ease of movement then reached under body on either side with both hands to feel for any obvious signs of foul play, knife wound etc. Body emitted some air and moved upwards an inch or so as a result and I was out of that house in a flash.

Sitting in patrol vehicle feeling deeply embarrassed I eventually pulled myself together and returned to the front door apologising profusely to those inside but thankfully they're response went something like "Don't worry, even at this sad time a good laugh is always welcome."

[Aktungbby]

:har:Similarly; In '92 was security on the grave shift at a large SF elder care facility with all levels of care from Alzheimer's to independent apartment living. My principal function was to assist the undertaker in removing the correct corpse-'no mixups allowed here-read toe-tags carefully!' decedent (always at 2AM naturally:nope:) who is wrapped soley in saran-wrap, cooling in the hospital morgue at this point: having been declared dead by the resident (only) RN on duty. We get to the dingy basement 'repository' and are putting the remains on a gurney for transport to the funeral home...when the other one, totally encased in clear wrap suddenly moves-flinching slightly!!! The funereal attendant/driver and I were in shock;:o but I recovered enough to slit a gap in the wrap with a pocket knife to allow respiration to occur. I retrieved the RN for a hasty reassessment of her "yur dead" skills,:dead: and the patient was hastily returned to her bed where she re-succumbed more permanently in a few hours. The next day the ho$pital'$ admini$trator $topped by to implore me not to tell any one....log page removed BBY! :huh:

[Eichhörnchen]

4) Put the testicals up inside the body where they cannot get kicked, squashed, sat on or generally abused in any way. Make sure they have an efficient internal cooling mechanism to keep things running at optimal temperature.

But not air-cooled: you don't want your plums dangling anywhere near a fan.

[Aktungbby]

But not air-cooled: you don't want your plums dangling anywhere near a fan.

As U wish!:woot:http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/03/13/article-2292655-18A13910000005DC-332_634x412.jpgAnd or course this little gem:https://vimeo.com/113142525 (https://vimeo.com/113142525) of course all this 'pales in comparison' to the age old solution: http://msnbcmedia.msn.com/j/MSNBC/Components/Photo/2012/July/120712/pb-120713-highland-games-12p.380;380;7;70;0.jpghttp://www.scotsconnection.com/clan_crests/images/kincaidclancrest.jpg:rock:

[Harvs]

Do you think Bruce Jenner has to pay full price to get into the drag races now ?

[Eichhörnchen]

:haha: Oh, this idea has bags of potential!

[Jimbuna]

The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?'

[Betonov]

I just love how creationis argument that the world was made for us forget or never experianced how nature is actually the biggest sadist ever that has nothing else in her mind but recycling you as soon as possible from the moment you are born.

And after you thought about how nature can be brutal now imagine that a 100km above you space begins and that's the definition of hell.

[soopaman2]

I missed you guys. :sunny:

[Eichhörnchen]

Where've you been? I looked around for you a little while back...

[soopaman2]

Where've you been? I looked around for you a little while back...

I lurked.
New daddy, new job, same old rotten personality.:yeah:

[Tango589]

Congrats on the new dad status!:sunny:

[Eichhörnchen]

Joefour kindly sent me this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-z6DNqkRh1c

Bunch of cream-puffs or what?

[Jimbuna]

Looking forward to my inheritance payment from the Kenyan prince that contacted me via e-mail.

[soopaman2]

Looking forward to my inheritance payment from the Kenyan prince that contacted me via e-mail.


What a coincidence. I just sent a check to a fine noble gentleman from there too.!

We hit the freaking lottery Mr. Buna! We are going to be filthy rich, all these dumb slobs are left in the cold. Too bad they are not as cool as us.:smug:

HIGH FIVE !:rock:

[Betonov]

Time is warped and space is bendable