Game: Crush Each Other's Dreams

[Stealth Hunter]

Here's an example of how it would work:

Guy 1- I wish I had a better computer.

Guy 2- Granted, but <insert something crushing to his dream here>.

I wish I had a million dollars.

Guy 3- Granted, but <insert something crushing to his dream here>.

I wish . . . .

etc., etc., etc.

To start:

I wish I had a can of Coca-Cola.

[Chock]

Granted, but are you aware that Coca Cola is an icon of the Yankee imperialist aggressor? but more importantly, it's not as nice as a Tango, which, incidentally, I wish I had a can of.

:D Chock

[fatty]

Granted. but surely you know Tango inspired a rash of playground violence in the early '90s with some advertisements of questionable taste.

I wish I had a sports car.

[Onkel Neal]

Granted, it's called a Matchbox.

I wish I knew how to make Flash.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but you make a virus that takes form as a stickman, and then it ravages the hell out of your Desktop.

I wish that I had a cheezburger.

[Ishmael]

Granted, but you'll fill your arteries with heart-busting goo.

I wish I had a watermelon.

[TarJak]

Granted but you might swallow a pip and have it lodged in your gut where it germinates and grows expanding inside you!

I'd like to have a nice cup of tea!

[kiwi_2005]

Granted, but to much tea can cause caffine addiction and you know what that can lead to, sitting around drinking tea and gobbling down biscuits with the wives helping to spread more gossip!

I wish i owned a harley davidson

[bookworm_020]

Granted, but it will be built in china by workers who have just finnished a 3 day drinking binge. It will come with lead paint as standard!

I wish I could be a pilot...

[Hakahura]

Granted, but now you have to brag about your new job to everyone you meet.

I wish I had some beer.

[TteFAboB]

Granted, but you'll still be drunk by the time your eight year old nephew comes home to play a chess match, which you will obviously loose and thus have to bear the shame for the rest of your now sad life.

I wish I had a chainsaw.

[Hakahura]

Granted, but you will only end up cutting off your toes by mistake.

I wish I had a bigger house.

[blue3golf]

Granted, but that only means more maintenance and paying more in taxes.

I wish I was deer hunting.

[antikristuseke]

Granted, but you shoot yourself in both feet.

I wish i had beer

[Hakahura]

Granted, you may have a beer. But one will lead to another and another ect. Now you are a downtrodden, homeless, alcoholic who's family have deserted him.

I wish Microsoft would make reliable and bug free OS system for my PC.

[Letum]

I wish Microsoft would make reliable and bug free OS system for my PC.
Granted, M$ release "Windows 2012 Araura Home Edition 128" and it is totally bug
free.

Everyone buys it and quickly all religion is replaced by the glorification of Microsoft.
Temples are set up across the world and all talk of the "blue screen" is punishable by
death.
With in 10 years Bill Gates has achieved immortality by converting him self in to pure
code. His spirit is now in every home PC watching you and subtly guiding the course
of world history.
You however, become cynical of this new world and the omniprescent cult of
Microsoft. You have to keep this secret and go into hiding. You are hunted like a
dog across the desert wastelands by a crack team of IT staff. You have no option
but to find the shady Linux resistance group....if they even exist.
Soon you resort to eating your own leg to stay alive. Just after you have finished
chewing it off, the IT staff capture you and take you to M$ HQ.
In the dungeons and recherche labs of M$ your brain is removed and replaced by a
Pentium XII pro. From that point things don't really get much better until the day
you are melted down for your trace gold content.

I wish I had a sandwich

[Chock]

I wish Microsoft would make reliable and bug free OS system for my PC.

I thought this was wishes, not miracles?

Anyway, granted, but if they do that, it will only lead to accusations of them having a monopoly from Apple, and if your PC was reliable, it would rob you of the constant masochistic thrill of trying to get it to work optimally, an your life would become and empty shadow of its former self.

I wish was in Dixie

(edit, Letum wins)

:D Chock

[kiwi_2005]

I wish Microsoft would make reliable and bug free OS system for my PC.
Granted, M$ release "Windows 2012 Araura Home Edition 128" and it is totally bug
free.

Everyone buys it and quickly all religion is replaced by the glorification of Microsoft.
Temples are set up across the world and all talk of the "blue screen" is punishable by
death.
With in 10 years Bill Gates has achieved immortality by converting him self in to pure
code. His spirit is now in every home PC watching you and subtly guiding the course
of world history.
You however, become cynical of this new world and the omniprescent cult of
Microsoft. You have to keep this secret and go into hiding. You are hunted like a
dog across the desert wastelands by a crack team of IT staff. You have no option
but to find the shady Linux resistance group....if they even exist.
Soon you resort to eating your own leg to stay alive. Just after you have finished
chewing it off, the IT staff capture you and take you to M$ HQ.
In the dungeons and recherche labs of M$ your brain is removed and replaced by a
Pentium XII pro. From that point things don't really get much better until the day
you are melted down for your trace gold content.



Brilliant! :yep:

sry guys, as you were...

[Hakahura]

Sorry I went off track asking for a miracle instead of of a wish.

Chock...
Granted, you are in Dixie. However all is not quite as the song suggests and in a fit of depression and rage you will hack of your own head with a cooking spoon.

Letum...
Granted, you have a sandwich. However it contains the Salmonella bug which will nearly kill you until you are rushed to a hospital. In hospital you contract MRSA which does kill you, horribly.

I wish I had a faster motorbike.....

[Ishmael]

Granted. You just obtained the new Harley-Davidson, fastest production bike in the world. You dump it doing 80 on the freeway in third gear, scrape one side of your face off and break every bone in your body requiring a full body cast. While in the cast, A group of Hells Angels busts into your house, steals your bike and turns out your girlfriend, who decides to join them as one of their mamas.

I wish we had world peace.

[Letum]

I wish we had world peace.
Granted!

All conflict is instantly abandoned.
One by one political divisions become blurred and then disappear altogether. People
stop worrying where the borders of their countries are and all walls and fences are
removed. Before long the terms "country" or "nation" cease to exist.
Prisons across the world release the last of their inmates and courtrooms gather dust
as museums to the "old days" when man was still capable of harming fellow man.
The conflict on the economic battlefield of business dies away and soon no one put
any more value in a $50 note than they would to a pebble on the beach. With this,
the conflicts of jealousy, want and greed evaporate and the idea that one can
"have" something that is not in your hands or belly seams alien and illogical.
The world has entered a golden age where the products of human kind fund then
befit of human kind and not the struggle of nations, economies or religions. It is a
world of innocence. There is no reason not to trust anyone as no one has any
motive to be dishonest.
However, Ishmael, you find one person you are not sure you can trust. Can you
trust your self? For weeks now you have been hiding things, keeping them for your
self. You started with some of the villages supply of fruit, stashing plumbs away in a
box under your bed to eat later instead of leaving them in to store house for people
to eat as they wanted them. When people noticed they thought you where just a little
excentric. You know it wasn't eccentricity. You wanted those plumbs. Just like
you wanted to shout at your friend's brother, Keenan, when he accidentally woke
you up, drunk the week before. Of course, at first he didn't understand when you
shouted at him, that kind of thing hasn't happened in the world for many, many
years. Any other person would have just cursed their own bad luck and got back to
sleep, but not you, you cursed him, told him to stay the hell out of your room.
For a while he stood, staring bemused at your outburst, swaying slightly with the
unlabeled bottle of whiskey in his hand. And then you saw something in his face that
made you stop shouting and fixed your gaze into his eyes.
You saw that you had hurt him. You had become the first person to hurt another
human since anyone could remember. It was as if by stumbling into your room he had
stumbled in to all the evils that no longer existed in the world. With in you, Ishmael,
he had found a Pandora's box, birming full of all natural conflict, hatred and jealousy
that has sparked a million ancient wars, murders and immoralities of the old world.
Keenan dropped the bottle of whiskey and fled out of your room, howling in misery as
you stood unable to speak as you realised the horror of what you where and the damage
you could do to the world. It doesn't take you long to decide that you have
to make sure that you can not allow your self to risk letting the evils in your nature
back into the world. You pick up the whiskey bottle from the floor, rip out some
electric cable from the computer in the corner and begin to drink as you tie the
noose that will save the world.


I wish for a little more time to live and experience the world. A few lifetimes should do.

[TarJak]

Granted, but then you will grow bored with the world as you have expirenced everything that the world has to offer by your 3rd lifetime. With one more to go you can you face another 90 odd years doing the same old same old?

I'd like to see Indonesia's rainforests preserved so Organ-utans have somewhere to live.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but they become infected with some weired monkey virus and kill you, like Joseph Smith the Mormon...

I wish that I could live the life of a WWI pilot.

[Ishmael]

I'd like to see Indonesia's rainforests preserved so Organ-utans have somewhere to live.

Granted. Unfortunately, too close contact between Orang and human, combined with the pernicious effect of sign-language education among upper order primates as a whole(The Koko Factor), contributes to accelerated development in Chimps, Gorillas, Baboons and Orangs.

While left alone in research labs at night, enterprising chimps research University computers and the internet concentrating on weapons systems development, comparative religions, Early Native American Governance and petropolitics.

Finally, the Orangs strike, after Hacking into Indonesian government computers to increase the exchange of Zoo exhibits, special Orang commando units or Ornaz strike every zoo in the land, releasing all upper and lower order primates. They then reveal the true genius of their plan.

Attacking at dawn on a broad front across Borneo, Java and all the islands, they appear armed and armored entirely with weapons made with pig feces laminated and laquered in layers. The largely Muslim Indonesian Army is hard-pressed to find countering tactics and strategy due to religious instructions regarding pork and pork byproducts. The Orang Army, by now reinforced with all other primates, roll their blitzkrieg over the entire country seizing the oil fields and holding the human economy hostage to their demands. In return for a membership seat at OPEC and a place in the round of traditional tribal kings of the Islands, The Orangs form a new government with their human partners based on the Iroquois Confederacy. At the establishment of the new government, the surviving tribal chiefs of the Iroquois attend the inaugural session.

(Very good, Letum. A few typos and misspellings, but the overall feel and effect of the story was quite good. If I was in that position, seppuku always appealed to me. Must be having to commit it in a past life myself.)

I wish I had some toast.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but it is so black that it falls apart when you go to touch it.

I wish that I could control Germany in 1910.

[Ishmael]

Granted, but they become infected with some weired monkey virus and kill you, like Joseph Smith the Mormon...

I wish that I could live the life of a WWI pilot.

Granted. You obtain a commission in the fledgling Royal Flying Corps. It is August, 1915. You are given one of the new observation aircraft, A Bristol Biplane. You take off from your aerodrome the afternoon of the 19th and head for the front lines. As you start your turn over the trenches and your observer begins taking photos, a shadow falls across you out of the sun. It's a new type of German machine with only one wing. As the observer puts the camera away and brings his machine gun to bear, the staccato chatter of a single Spandau on an interrupter cam echoes in your ears as a line of holes stitch across the fabric of your fuselage, setting your fuel on fire, and running up your observer's frame as he slumps over. With no parachute, you jump from the diving, flaming wreck that was once your machine and the last thing you see is Oswald Boelcke saluting you from his Fokker E-III as you fall the first victim of the Fokker Scourge and Boelcke's Dicta.

Dicta Boelcke1.Always try to secure an advantageous position before attacking. Climb before and during the approach in order to surprise the enemy from above, and dive on him swiftly from the rear when the moment to attack is at hand.2.Try to place yourself between the sun and the enemy. This puts the glare of the sun in the enemy's eyes and makes it difficult to see you and impossible for him to shoot with any accuracy.3.Do not fire the machine guns until the enemy is within range and you have him squarely within your sights.4.Attack when the enemy least expects it or when he is preoccupied with other duties such as observation, photography or bombing.5.Never turn your back and try to run away from an enemy fighter. If you are surprised by an attack on your tail, turn and face the enemy with your guns.6.Keep your eye on the enemy and do not let him deceive you with tricks. If your opponent appears damaged, follow him down until he crashes to be sure he is not faking.7.Foolish acts of bravery only bring death. The Jasta must fight as a unit with close teamwork between all pilots. The signal of its leaders must be obeyed.

I wish I had some toast.

[mapuc]

Granted, but you know that to hart toasted, it can give you cancer

I wish that we all, everyone in here, could meet, like we did in Holland.

Markus

[DeepIron]

I wish that we all, everyone in here, could meet, like we did in Holland.
Granted. After downloading the 'latest, greatest' mod for SH4, while playing a campaign, your computer induces in you a deep hypnotic state during which you a have an out-of-body experience.
You find yourself floating over an azure Pacific Ocean with a beautiful blue sky dotted with small cumulus clouds and lit by a brilliant tropical sun. A tiny Pacific Atoll appears on the horizon, gleaming in shades of jungle greens and surrounded by a ribbon of white sand beaches and reefs. The atoll rapidly looms larger and larger as you find yourself flying towards it.
Gazing about, you soon notice you are not alone on your incredible journey. A number of your Subsim friends are also floating in the air above and around you, all heading towards the Pacific jewel of an atoll... The air is full of cheerful hoots and hollars as friends old and new, greet each other enthusiastically, seemingly oblivious to the circumstances that has brought them together again...
Moments later, gliding low over the living reef, you all arrive at the atoll. Mysteriously, a large bonfire is blazing away on the sparkling white sand beach, cases of everyone's favorite beverages have washed ashore intact and an old crate marked "RCA Victorola" has appeared... Ripe coconuts and delcious island fruits are available in abundance for the picking at the edge of the beach. Schooling fish swim placidly in the waist deep shallows of the lagoon, seagulls and cormorants circle steadily above.

Someone opens the crate to find not only a gramaphone, but a large number of vinyl records. He places a record on the gramaphone...

I wish I had more time to spend with my wife...

[bookworm_020]

Ganted, But she will be suffering bad PMT and then will drag you along while she shops for shoes, clothes, etc....

I wish I could have a holiday

[TarJak]

Granted but you'll probably end up in a cheap trailer park surrounded with white trash who look like the kind of people you probably need a holiday from:

http://www.webwombat.com.au/entertainment/humour/images/185midget.jpg


I want a ride on the A380 (Just watching it take off from SYD at the moment).

[TteFAboB]

Granted, but the plane is shot down by SUBMAN with a home-built SAM and you die a horrible and painful death.

I wish someone would play full length NASCAR 2003 races with me.

[geetrue]

Granted, but he won't keep his hand off of your leg as he pretends to show you which button to push to repair your race car ... :o

I wish I was back on a FBM submarine with lots of good food when WW III comes

[Onkel Neal]

Granted, but then you would miss all the pretty lights and smoke.

I wish WWIII could just come already....and I had some toast to go with it...

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but it would only get soggy when your boat got sunk.

I wish there were peace all over the world.

[mookiemookie]

Granted, but it would only get soggy when your boat got sunk.

I wish there were peace all over the world.

Granted. World peace is achieved, and humanity rejects war and all of its horrors. In fact, the rejection of conflict and war is so great that all war books, memorabilia and games are deemed to be illegal, as it celebrates death and suffering and hate. Your beloved submarine and flight sim games are contraband. Subsim.com members meet to exchange mod packs in shadowy dark alleys, until one night it all goes wrong and you find yourself caught up in a police sting operation. You're sent to jail forever. Don't drop the soap!

I wish I had a million bucks.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but it turns out that it is stolen, and you are sentenced to life at hard labor.

I wish I could be a U-boat ace.

[fatty]

Granted, but it turns out that it is stolen, and you are sentenced to life at hard labor.

I wish I could be a U-boat ace.

Granted, but in addition to being a U-boat ace, you were also an extreme supporter of the Nazi party and personal friend of the Führer himself. You survived the Atlantic campaign in your type VIIC, against all odds, and retired to Argentina to hide from justice. You thought you were safe, meeting an Argentine lass and even starting a family and what becomes a huge successful winery on the outskirts of Buenos Aires. This is all until the day that an intrepid reporter digs up your service records and other juicy niggles and publishes them. The fateful day arrives that the Mossad comes and knocks on your door, and you are never heard from ever again.

I wish I had a time machine.

[TarJak]

Granted but like the character in the H.G. Wells book you find that moving through time has it's challenges and horrors. In one incident you travel back to the 13th century during the black plague, contract the disease and in travelling back to your own time start the next world pandemic, reducing the population of the world by a third.

I'd like to see all internet spam eradicated.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but that would lead to the closing of large parts of SS.

I wish I'd been able to marry my cousin.

[TteFAboB]

Granted, but he always gets to play the active role.

I wish I could read 10 times faster.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted. Instead of 2 eyes, you now have 1 big one. (Here's something cool: Jimmy Carter could read over a THOUSAND words a MINUTE.)

I wish that I had more McDonald's Sweet-Tea.

[Ishmael]

Granted. Instead of 2 eyes, you now have 1 big one. (Here's something cool: Jimmy Carter could read over a THOUSAND words a MINUTE.)

I wish that I had more McDonald's Sweet-Tea.

Granted. You take the last bottle of the six-pack you just drank and drain it as you walk into the living room for the game. A bulletin comes on about cyanide poisoning in all McDonald's Sweet Tea of a certain lot number. As the announcer reads the # you see it on the now empty bottle. A glance down at the inside of the cap reveals a small pinhole pointing inward just as you lose conciousness.

I wish I was surfing right now.

[fatty]

Granted. Instead of 2 eyes, you now have 1 big one. (Here's something cool: Jimmy Carter could read over a THOUSAND words a MINUTE.)

I wish that I had more McDonald's Sweet-Tea.

Granted. You take the last bottle of the six-pack you just drank and drain it as you walk into the living room for the game. A bulletin comes on about cyanide poisoning in all McDonald's Sweet Tea of a certain lot number. As the announcer reads the # you see it on the now empty bottle. A glance down at the inside of the cap reveals a small pinhole pointing inward just as you lose conciousness.

I wish I was surfing right now.

Granted, but you're getting up there in years, and the old hip is not what she used to be. There's a probable chance that you'll fracture something, fall in deep water, and spend the last few minutes of your life in extreme joint pain as you wrestle against drowning.

I wish I wasn't so mean to Ishmael.

[mookiemookie]

I wish I wasn't so mean to Ishmael.

Granted, but then you ruin the game for everyone. Your actions aren't pointed out immediately, but everyone is left with a vague sense of loathing when they see your posts. You are always remembered as "that guy that ruined the fun thread."

I wish I didn't have to travel for work tomorrow.

[TarJak]

Granted, but then you'd be sitting in the same seat at work that you always sit it, instead of on your way to an exciting destination full of mystery and intrigue!

I wish the Australian drought would break.

[Onkel Neal]

Granted, but it would only get soggy when your boat got sunk.

I wish there were peace all over the world.

Granted. World peace is achieved, and humanity rejects war and all of its horrors. In fact, the rejection of conflict and war is so great that all war books, memorabilia and games are deemed to be illegal, as it celebrates death and suffering and hate. Your beloved submarine and flight sim games are contraband. Subsim.com members meet to exchange mod packs in shadowy dark alleys, until one night it all goes wrong and you find yourself caught up in a police sting operation. You're sent to jail forever. Don't drop the soap!


Wow, that sounds pretty cool. Except for the part about the soap.

As you were...

[bookworm_020]

I wish the Australian drought would break.

Granted, but it would turn into the great Australian flood.

I wish I could create a useful invention....

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but someone would only claim that they thought of it earlier.

I wish I could retire at 50.

[Ishmael]

Granted, but someone would only claim that they thought of it earlier.

I wish I could retire at 50.

Granted. Unfortunately, two weeks after you retire, the US attacks Iran. The resultant World War and $200/bbl of oil causes hyperinflation and widespread fuel and food shortages. The US government and economy collapses paving the way for the North American Union. When they finally allow dollars to be exchanged for Ameros, your savings is exchanged at 100/1 ratio dollars/Ameros. Your nest egg fortune loses 90% of it's value forcing you to take a greeter's job at Walmart part time for minimum wage.


I wish I could see Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld convicted of War Crimes.

[Reaves]

Granted, but this causes riots between the masses of Americans Democrat vs Republican and the USA is split in two leaving Canada a clear path to invade and plunder the once great US of A.


I wish I had a donkey and a japanese lingerie model.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but your employer eventually comes to the realisation that the business plods on regardless in your absence and therefore he can do without you. So he terminates your employment status and you have to survive on welfare benefits.

I wish the next GWX release was out now.

[TteFAboB]

Granted, but it's full of bugs and glitched features because they had to release it in pre-alpha stage to please the Primadonna over here.

I wish I be a Pirate! :arrgh!:

[bookworm_020]

Granted, but you get caught the first time you try to board a ship. Not wanting to bother the law courts, you get to walk the plank without legal recourse.

:gulp:

I wish I could have a trip on the new A380 to London in the first class suite, with my wife!;)

[Reaves]

edit. damn you bookworm

[Reaves]

Granted although whilst trying to join the mile high club you get interupted by a live camera crew filming the event and streaming it on the internet. Immediately you are an internet star but your wife is the one in the spotlight. you become incredibly jealous which forces you apart and you end your days drinking alone in strip joints and doing low quality porn films.

I wish I had super powers.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but you die when an airplane hits you and paralyzes you. Hence, a nice fall from 40,000 feet.:up:

I wish that everyday was Sunday.

[fatty]

Granted, but you die when an airplane hits you and paralyzes you. Hence, a nice fall from 40,000 feet.:up:

I wish that everyday was Sunday.

Granted. All the 9-5ers are on permanent unpaid vacation, and every day of the week is Sunday. The economy undergoes a great shift and is subsequently driven by the masses of retail and restaurant workers relegated to working on Sundays. Any post-secondary education is deemed useless in this new world, where the guy who flips your burgers starts making your old salary. Furthermore, forget about doing any yardwork outside of your home; Christian extremists are on the march and are lynching anyone caught not relaxing on the Sabbath. This strange bizarro world is a total inversion of society. Anarchy reigns supreme.

I wish I had an endless supply of single malt scotch.

[Reaves]

Granted although the constant drinking effects your liver and your doctor informs you not to drink ever again. Meanwhile your endless supply of scotch takes up all the room in your house and you are forces to start giving it away but more keeps appearing and you don't seem to be able to make a dent in the supply.

Giving up you move out into a small appartment living under where a really bad heavy metal band is on constant band practice.


I wish Das Boot had a happier ending.

[fatty]

Granted although the constant drinking effects your liver and your doctor informs you not to drink ever again. Meanwhile your endless supply of scotch takes up all the room in your house and you are forces to start giving it away but more keeps appearing and you don't seem to be able to make a dent in the supply.

Giving up you move out into a small appartment living under where a really bad heavy metal band is on constant band practice.


I wish Das Boot had a happier ending.

Granted: the movie ending changes, but so does history! :damn: U-96 makes it back to port, there is much rejoicing, and the crew sets out on many more succesful patrols. Doenitz gets his demands for a sizable u-boat fleet met and the Third Reich successfully strangles the lifeline to the U.K. Sea Lion is an utter success and the U.K. falls. Building an unstoppable momentum, Hitler conquers Canada, the U.S., the Soviet Union, and soon nothing is left to keep German and Japanese clutches away from Australia. The entire world is subjugated under the iron rule of the swastika for centuries to come, all because you wanted to change a silly old movie.

I wish I could fast-forward through the next month of school to vacation.

[Reaves]

Granted: the movie ending changes, but so does history! :damn: U-96 makes it back to port, there is much rejoicing, and the crew sets out on many more succesful patrols. Doenitz gets his demands for a sizable u-boat fleet met and the Third Reich successfully strangles the lifeline to the U.K. Sea Lion is an utter success and the U.K. falls. Building an unstoppable momentum, Hitler conquers Canada, the U.S., the Soviet Union, and soon nothing is left to keep German and Japanese clutches away from Australia. The entire world is subjugated under the iron rule of the swastika for centuries to come, all because you wanted to change a silly old movie.

Now that's crushing my dreams! :rock:


I wish I could fast-forward through the next month of school to vacation.

Granted although during that month many life changing events happen and because you skip them you miss all those moments, plus all the knowledge that you should have gained at school is never learnt so when you get back after vacation you fail, causing you to end up quitting and living on the streets selling empty cans to hobos.

I wish I could give the world a coke.

[Ishmael]

Granted. Unfortunately your gesture of goodwill is misinterpreted by the DEA as an atempt to organize a world-wide free cocaine distribution network. Blackwater Contractors working for DEA bust in your door, shoot you down like a dog and find...nothing. Your estate and survivors sue for wrongful death only to find that the White House has given all Blackwater Employees "Double-Secret Immunity" from all crimes anywhere so the case is taken to the Supreme Court. The court, on a 5-4 majority, finds for Blackwater guaranteeing their position as a new Praetorian Guard of the executive. Your survivors, after being pilloried for months on Fox News and conservative talk radio, slowly disappear or are found dead in mysterious boating "Accidents" on Chesapeake Bay. The coroner's finding in all cases is either accidental drowning or suicide despite the anchor chains tying their hands behind them or the fact that they all live on the West coast.

I wish I could write a 50,000 word best-selling novel of my father's stories as a merchant seaman in World War 2 entirely in the month of November.

[bookworm_020]

I wish I could write a 50,000 word best-selling novel of my father's stories as a merchant seaman in World War 2 entirely in the month of November.

Granted, but with the success comes people who claim that you stole there ideas, infringed on existing stories, you mangage to beat them and prove it was real, but when you try and write a follow up book, it crashes and burns, with bad reviews hounding you into a life of hiding in the hills.

I wish I can keep frustrating Reaves!:lol:

[Reaves]

Granted but it works so well that Reaves ends up locked up in a mental ward constantly repeating the words Book and Worm. Feeling guilty you wake up every night for the rest of life screaming in fear and crying. It gets even worse later in life when you to are sent to a mental ward for an embarrasing outburst you have in a bank. It takes 30 police, 10 firemen and a midget to drag you out and lock you up.


I wish the Nintendo Wii had better graphics.

[DeepIron]

Granted but it works so well that Reaves ends up locked up in a mental ward constantly repeating the words Book and Worm. Feeling guilty you wake up every night for the rest of life screaming in fear and crying. It gets even worse later in life when you to are sent to a mental ward for an embarrasing outburst you have in a bank. It takes 30 police, 10 firemen and a midget to drag you out and lock you up.


I wish the Nintendo Wii had better graphics.

Granted. While creating your favorite frozen, blended beverage, you inadvertantly patch your Wii through your Cuisinart Blender, set to "Mega Whip". This has the effect of rendering the Wii's graphics as crisp and lifelike as on a High Definition TV... Now all you need is a HD TV...

I wish I had a toasted bagel with creme cheese...

[Jimbuna]

Granted...Too late, I ate it. :p

I wish I could sprout wings and be able to fly.

[Bismarck]

Granted...but you fly in front of a Boeing 747. :arrgh!:

[DeepIron]

@Bismarck... you need to wish for something... :hmm:

[bookworm_020]

@Bismarck... you need to wish for something... :hmm:

Maybe he's wishing for a wish????:hmm:

[Biggles]

Granted, but you don't even have one yourself!:lol:

I wish I had a girlfriend.

[bookworm_020]

Granted, but you don't even have one yourself!:lol:

I wish I had a girlfriend.

Granted, but you find out later that she had operations to make "her" what she is today.:eek:

I wish that students would check the catalouge before asking if the library holds the title they're looking for.:stare:

[Reaves]

Granted, the students notice the catalogue and use it to help themselves all the time. Unfortunately though you get an increase of people asking "I'm looking for a book, I don't know the title, author or ISBN but it's got blue on the cover."

This causes your head to explode.

I wish pigs could fly.

[TarJak]

Granted, but think of the mess! Let alone the smell!

I wish I had a faster computer.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but your still the last player to enter the game in MP, because the rest of us still have a faster one :rotfl:

I wish beer was free in the UK

[Biggles]

Granted, but then you'd be dead by now.

I wish I had a job.

[HunterICX]

Granted, but then you'd be dead by now.

I wish I had a job.

Granted!
but it will be a dirrty job, patrolling the city sewers for problems.

I wish I had a WW2 aircraft.

[TarJak]

Granted, but the cost of upkeep bankrupts you and your local council fines you for keeping a bunch of old scrap metal in your back yard.

I wish understood women.:88)

[DeepIron]

Granted! You find yourself suddenly wanting to accessorize and color match your wardrobe, your sense of direction is useless and you find yourself crying spontaneously over "sad and silly" afternoon soap operas. Your monthly cellphone bill goes throught the ceiling as you find it impossible not to gossip for hours about the other women in your sewing circle. Then there is the monthly "Curse of Eve" and mood swings to deal with... along with a strange desire to relate to RuPaul...

I wish the air was cleaner...

[Biggles]

Granted, but then you'd be forced to pay taxes for it, I'm sure.

I wish I had a life (ooh, this is gonna be a good answer, I'm sure:lol: )

[Bismarck]

Granted! But we reused Michael's Jacksons life. Happy Hunting!!


I wish i had 2000 horse chestnuts

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but you wouldn't be able to find enough timber to roast them.

I wish the wife would hurry up cooking dinner.

[TteFAboB]

Granted, but you'll have to do the dish washing.

I wish I had the Star Trek's transporter unit.

[Biggles]

Granted, but then the Vulcans would steal it from you.

I wish I cared.

[DeepIron]

Granted! You receive in the mail an anonymous package. Upon opening it, you find someone through a random act or kindness (or a total screw-up in the mail) has sent you a "Care Bear"... You are so taken with the stuffed little critter, that like the Grinch, your heart is instantly filled with love and care and expands to 5 times it's normal size.

Unfortunately, this has the effect of rendering you dead from excessive pressure on your heart, but for a few brief seconds, you really cared...


I wish I had more to do...

[TarJak]

Granted, but then you wouldn't have time to play this silly game!:lol:

I wish I had something to wish for.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but the thread title "Crush Each Other's Dreams" lives up to your wish, so that's that.

I wish that I could go skydiving.

[bookworm_020]

I wish that I could go skydiving.

Granted, but as you leap from the aircraft, you realized you grabed the wrong pack, so instead of a chute opening, you see your belongings, including that much need pair of clean underwear, fly out.

I wish I could create the ultimate subsim

[NiclDoe]

Granted, but it will have very sucky graphics and you would have to sell it for 50 dollars.
I wish I would have a little brother.

[TarJak]

Granted but your parents favour him over you and you get jealous and kill him causing you to get banged up for life.

I wish IT vendors weren't such oxygen theives.

[nikimcbee]

Granted. You just obtained the new Harley-Davidson, fastest production bike in the world. You dump it doing 80 on the freeway in third gear, scrape one side of your face off and break every bone in your body requiring a full body cast. While in the cast, A group of Hells Angels busts into your house, steals your bike and turns out your girlfriend, who decides to join them as one of their mamas.

I wish we had world peace.

Wish granted, but through a clerical error, you got whrilled peas.

I wish those damn Vikings would win the super bowl.

[TteFAboB]

Granted, but then you wake up just in time to watch the Cowboys win it in the real world.

I wish someone would blackmail JScones into coding SH4 Commander.

[HunterICX]

Granted, but SH4 Cmmdr seems not to be compatible with any of the mods you install, CTD everytime you try to launch and JScones forgot to put a Rollback feature on it, no updates possible as he left the community after it.

I wish I was in a real U-boat

[TarJak]

Granted, But as usual it gets DC's during your first mission and plummets to 450m before imploding.

I repeat as I was ignored a few posts back:
I wish IT vendors weren't such oxygen theives.

[DeepIron]

Granted! Collectively, the bottom falls out of the entire IT market sector due to "global laws" imposed by the UN to combat the "war of terror". This has the effect of rendering the IT vendor segment completely inert overnight and placing hundred of thousands of "oxygen thieving" IT retailers out of work...

From the IT chaos, a dark, sinister figure from Redmond, Washington rises to ultimate world power...
His response: A One World Government now controls ALL the data sent across every network in the world and also controls every aspect of computing, from personal to business.

I wish I wouldn't have to drive my semi truck on ice this year...

[NiclDoe]

Granted but you will crash all the time.
I wish that school was shorter by making it 1 hour.

[Kratos]

granted: then you leave school earlier,and you end as thick as pigs s**t :rotfl:

I wish I could have bushmills(Irish whisky) on draught :lol:

[TarJak]

Granted, then your long suffering liver finally gives out.

I wish I could write something that makes me rich.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but it turns out you forgot to cite the subject nature correctly, and Warner Brothers sue you for taking their stuff.

I wish that I could rule Subsim.

[Hakahura]

Granted. You now rule subsim.

However..... You run it your way, because you can, you rule. But it's different, people don't like it. You end up the sole member, your life becomes horribly lonely and you hear about no new mods. GWX 1.04 passes you by while the rest of the world gasps in awe. Your gui remains as dated as the day you bought it and no-one takes any notice of the screenshots you post.

I wish i didn't have to work tonight.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but then your paid a day short next payday and being unable to pay your bills you get evicted from your house.

I wish I could make curry as good as the Indians.

[Kipparikalle]

Granted, but you would just end up creating new explosive.

I wish I could rape every person on subsim.com

[AVGWarhawk]

Granted, but you would just end up creating new explosive.

I wish I could rape every person on subsim.com

Granted this should not be granted but if was granted you would come down with the inccurable clap. Your new name would be Mr Leaky.


I wish I had a Lear jet.

[mookiemookie]

Granted:
http://images.hobbytron.com/DM-REV04213-lg.jpg

I wish I didn't have to move this weekend.

[TteFAboB]

Granted, but since you obviously can't hold your pee for two days and you can't get to the bathroom you have to pee all over yourself, after which you get thrombosis for laying still for so long and in severe pain forget about this stupid wish and move most agitatedly to the nearest hospital, where a sadist nurse stuffs gauze in your mouth and then proceeds to give you an irreparable amateur sex change surgery, without anesthesia. Wait a minute, nevermind the last part, this is supposed to be a crushed dream! Alright then, the sex change surgery fails and you're still the same sex.

I wish I were Chuck Norris.

[jumpy]

Granted, but you also have to wear chuck's beard and his mullet. In public. Holding a sign saying 'I like the '80s'.

I wish I had a job.:hmm:

[TarJak]

Granted, but it will be shift work in a factory for minimum wage in China painting small dangerously sharp metal pieces of childrens toys with lead paint.

I wish I could play SH3 and SH4 at the same time.

[Hakahura]

Granted. You can play SH3 an SH4 at the same time.

However you will become very confused and end up sinking the wrong ships in both games. Both your careers end. Badly.

I wish I was flying home this weekend.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but the love of your life isn't expecting you and you wished you'd missed the plane.

I wish my dog could talk.

[Iron Budokan]

I apologize. :)

[HunterICX]

Granted. But I banged your wife last night, and she said she no longer cares what you think or want.

Eh?
really, do you think thats funny?
:nope::down:

[bookworm_020]

Granted, but the love of your life isn't expecting you and you wished you'd missed the plane.

I wish my dog could talk.

I'll think I'll reanswer that one.

Granted, but then it would tell your other half who ate the last of the chocolate cake, and when you try and kick the dog, it reports you to the RSPCA. The dog becomes famous, appears in many movies, make a fortune and lives a life of luxury.

You end up in the dog house, being publicly outed as a bad pet owner...

I wish I could get rid of this cold I have, as well as my wife's...

[Reaves]

Granted you are instantly cured but because of this wish being granted you did not use you immune system to defeat the strain. A new strain is formed and it brings on a world-wide plague and it's all your fault. Thanks moron. :p


I wish the idea I had for a space propulsion system I thought up years ago came together and worked.

[Jimbuna]

Granted. But I banged your wife last night, and she said she no longer cares what you think or want.

:roll: .........tut tut :nope:

You forgot your wish.....Allow me on your behalf :arrgh!:

"I wish I was keelhauled"

I wish the response from Neal was "Granted" :rotfl:

[TteFAboB]

I wish the idea I had for a space propulsion system I thought up years ago came together and worked.

Granted, but then the Vulcans would steal it from you. Believe me, they stole my transporter unit.

I wish the stupid video card's cooler wasn't so difficult to clean.

[Jimbuna]

I apologize. :)

Granted ;)

[Jimbuna]

I wish the idea I had for a space propulsion system I thought up years ago came together and worked.

Granted, but then the Vulcans would steal it from you. Believe me, they stole my transporter unit.

I wish the stupid video card's cooler wasn't so difficult to clean.

anted, but then you'd just become bored and look for something else to clean. How about starting with the dishes, then the washing, then some hoovering, then dusting, then.... :lol:

I wish I could speak gibberish.

[DeepIron]

Granted. No...wait.... whaddayamean "wish"... :)

I wish I could retire and enjoy my hobbies...

[yankee-V]

What?!?! Granted, but your hobbies seem pointless to you after your life flashes before your eyes.

Wish I was featured on The Actor's Studio. :hmm:

[Biggles]

Granted, but then you'd be the art.......nailed to the wall......

I wish I could play the guitar.

[bookworm_020]

I wish I could play the guitar.

Granted, you become a guitar god! But just as you gain the reputation, you suffer massive injury to your hands, making you unable to reap any reward from your gift. Despite an attempted come back by playing with your feet, you fall into a downward spiral.

I wish I could sing....

[NiclDoe]

Granted Bookworm but you will break every glass in sight.
I wish I would meet God.

[Doolan]

I wish I would meet God.

Granted, but I live far away from you and the plane ticket would be incredibly expensive.

I wish I was a sofa.

[TarJak]

Granted, but why would you want to be tossed out on the street in a scummy neighbourhood in the rain, sleet and snow only to become a home for rats and fleas?

I wish I owned a real Type VIIC U-Boat in mint condition.

[bookworm_020]

Granted, but it would be crewed by a pack of Bernard's. They would sink it even before you leave the harbour!

Wish I could dance....

[TarJak]

Granted, but the red shoes that help you do so won't let you stop or take them off so you dance until your death from exhaustion.

I wish someone would have another go at the One Word Story Game.

[Reaves]

Granted but i'm about to leave work so i'll have to do it later which could take some time.


I wish I had a funny moustache that I could oil and pretend to be classy.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but people who know you wouldn't be able to recognise who you are and you would only get upset when you heard people calling you to yourself.

I wish life was much simpler.

[Hakahura]

Granted, life is now much simpler. However with a simple life bang goes all that technology. No-one can understand or fix it. Nuclear power stations fail, the world is horribly contaminated and any knowlegde which could fix the situation has been lost. Thanks we are all doomed due to your wish.

I wish my piece of fish didn't always have a bone in it.

[Biggles]

Granted, next time it'll be the entire leg of a salior that has expired "best before" date by far.....

Wish I nail that big test about politics tomorrow!

[bookworm_020]

Granted, but teacher would fail you and you would be suspended when drive nails through your paper into the desk with the hammer you brough along to help you nail the test.

I wish we would stop crushing each others dreams

[TarJak]

Granted.

I wish my last wish were granted.

[Onkel Neal]

Granted, except it is no longer your "last" wish, this one was.

I wish scented candles weren't so expensive.

[Reaves]

Granted but soon scented candles cover peoples houses resulting in frequent house fires which costs the government millions of dollars that is simply passed on to the public resulting in tax rises, lower wages and eventually mass scale economic depression. Thanks Neal!

I wish my car was an Autobot.

[bookworm_020]

Granted, but as your car is a Leyland P 76 it transfroms itself into a pile of used parts, but doesn't change back!

I wish the moderators would close this thread

[Reaves]

Granted but your wish is soon countered with my wish for it to be reopened.

I wish Bookworm didn't want this thread closed.

[TarJak]

Granted, but then if he didn't someone else was.

Happily my last two wishes came true (does that mean I win this game?), so I wish that someone elses wish can come true too.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but this only serves to make them as delusional as you are.

I wish everyone a fortcoming merry xmas.

[HunterICX]

Granted,
but because you already wished everyone a merry christmas, christmas will be skipped for you this year, that means no gifts nor diner.


I wish I didnt grant that wish

[TarJak]

Granted but as it was merely one of Jim's delusions it doesn't matter.:lol:

I wish I didn't have to work for a living.

[Jimbuna]

Granted,
but because you already wished everyone a merry christmas, christmas will be skipped for you this year, that means no gifts nor diner.


I wish I didnt grant that wish

No you won't....after I get ya over on TS tonight :x

[bookworm_020]

I wish I didn't have to work for a living.

Granted, but after seeing whats on midday TV, you resolve to work untill your 90.

I wish I had a wish to wish for....

[Reaves]

Granted but the wish given to you was planted by Satan. The apocalypse arrives and all hell breaks loose. Submarines all over the globe are destroyed as the oceans turn into lava. This also causes no more subsims to be made which is sadder then the end of humanity.

I wish I had some of that deer jerkey I was just reading about in another thread.

[TarJak]

Granted, but it tastes like a jerked deer and makes you act like a jerk.

I wish I owned a pub.

[HunterICX]

Granted, but it tastes like a jerked deer and makes you act like a jerk.

I wish I owned a pub.

Granted, but then the Subsim meeting will be in Australia,
and its free beer for all who come, and ofcourse a huge breaking down the house and leave you with all its costs.

I wish I had a day off

[Tachyon]

Granted, but then again... you need to pay the mortage on your home and the missus won't be too happy that.

I wish I could wish.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, making your wish was your wish.

I wish women would stop denying they snore in their sleep.

[Biggles]

Granted, they stop denying it, so now they snore even louder, to make their point.

I wish I knew what the question of Universe, Life and everything really is!

[TteFAboB]

Granted, but it isn't 42.

I wish pigs could fly.

[Swede]

Granted, but then you would get pig**** on your windscreen instead of bird****.

I wish I had a life

[Reaves]

Granted, you start playing an old Mario brothers game and immediately receive 1up. :p


I wish Picard was winning the Star Trek captains poll.

[Hakahura]

Granted. Picard leads the Captains poll. But the Kirk fans find out that you wished for this and "phaser your house from orbit".

I wish I had more pizza.

[TarJak]

Granted, but now you weigh more than your house.

I wish negative people could be more positive.

[DeepIron]

Granted! Every person in the world who has some negative attitude is now cheerfully positive! This has the effect of creating a planet of sickeningly cheerful idiots who cheerfully run their cheerful little lives into the cheerful ground because there is no longer any negativity to overcome and give meaning to the Human Spirit to achieve and excel.

I wish brussel sprouts weren't on our Thanksgiving Day menu.

[StdDev]

I wish brussel sprouts weren't on our Thanksgiving Day menu.

Granted.. They have been replaced by boiled Okra!

I wish I could fire a howitzer into a retirement village.

[AVGWarhawk]

StdDev:
I wish I could fire a howitzer into a retirement village.

Are we having a bad day bro?

[StdDev]

StdDev:
I wish I could fire a howitzer into a retirement village.

Are we having a bad day bro?

You mock my aspirations!!?? :p

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but because the village occupants were elderly and remembered the last great war, they were well prepared and had built sufficient bunkers/shelters. Therefore there were no casualties.

I wish my neighbour would give me their new car.

[DeepIron]

Granted! However soon after receiving said automobile, the price of gas skyrockets to over $20.00/gal. The government reacts by declaring all personal transportation to be illegal and imposes heavy fines and imprisonment for those who do not comply. Being the law abiding citizen you are, you dutifully take a reciprocating saw to the vehical, removing it's top and turning it into a decorative planter for the missus...

I wish all the okra in the world would magically disappear...

[TarJak]

Granted, but that has allowed the cultivation of massive amounts of Brussel Sprouts which have now replaced boiled okra on your Thanksgiving menu.

I wish airlines offered 5c fares all the time.

[bookworm_020]

Granted, but they either go broke in three weeks, or have very large fees and taxs attached to the purchase price of the ticket.

I wish my dreams would stop being crushed...

[Reaves]

Granted, now they just get squashed.

I wish DeepIron had to eat okra all day for the rest of his life.

[StdDev]

I wish DeepIron had to eat okra all day for the rest of his life.

Granted
They invent a 24 hr time release pill of "essense of okra".. that tastes like chocolate!
But it is so popular that stores quickly run out of inventory.. so the marketing company, "Okracorp", expands their product line with "brussel sprout ice cream pills".

I wish Okracorp would make "boiled cabbage air freshener"

[Jimbuna]

Granted....but it is of no value or use to society because okra has become mankinds staple diet.

I wish I wasn't so good looking.

[DeepIron]

Granted! However, Daisy Duck now finds you irresistable...

I wish George W. Bush would tell the truth for a change...

[Biggles]

Granted. He now claims that the war against terrorism was really an effort to find you!:stare:;)


I wish that the next person wish something for me.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, I wish you good health sir.

I wish beer was free.

[TteFAboB]

Granted. The global stockpile of beer runs out before you even have a chance to get off your bed. Since nobody made any money off it, nobody can afford to produce a new batch and the beer industry worldwide is forced to shut down. To state the obvious, the Apocalypse ensues.

I wish the A380 was a successful plane.

[TarJak]

Granted, but it's success causes the collapse of Beoing putting thousands of workers out of a job and causing a run of the worl sharemarket so that no-one can afford to fly on it any longer.

I wish my next wish would be better that my last.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but it turns around and makes you wish again and again FOREVER.


I wish I could be Emperor of the Moon.

[NiclDoe]

Granted but nobody will clonized the Moon.:p
I wish my dog was more playful!

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but he becomes SO playful, he keeps you up all night and day. You cannot play with him any longer. Hence, he becomes enraged and bites into your throat, killing you in minutes.

I wish I hadn't broken Photobucket's stupid fecking bandwidth.:nope:

[bookworm_020]

Granted, all your photos and videos have been deleted!

I wish I could buy my wife the antiques that she desires!

[Sea Demon]

Granted, all your photos and videos have been deleted!

I wish I could buy my wife the antiques that she desires!

Granted. But then you find she desires the antiques more than you. She eventually kicks you out of the house to make room for more antiques.

I wish I had an infinite supply of wishes.

[TarJak]

Granted, but you soon run out of things to wish for well before the wishes themselves run out.

I wish I was on holiday.

[Onkel Neal]

Granted, you move to the States and become American to have this holiday (Thanksgiving), so you lose the great Aussie accent and people start calling you Bubba.

I wish firewood was cheaper.

[Winston Caine]

Granted, the firewood becomes so cheap because people cut down all the trees on the planet. A few days later, we suffocate.

I wish I had more time and alcohol.

[TarJak]

Granted, but having lost your job and become an alcoholic you are made homeless because you don't pay your bills.

I wish Americans wouldn't call me Bubba!:damn:

[Jimbuna]

Granted, they prefix it with 'Hubba' and your now called Hubba Bubba.

I wish pelicans could talk.

[Hakahura]

Granted. Pelicans can now talk. However it turns out they haven't much to say, all they want to talk about is how many fish you can fit in your mouth.

I wish my tooth would stop hurting.

[Biggles]

Granted, they do, but that's because they all fall out of your mouth.

I wish my birthday would be a biiit closer.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but you would soon get sick of growing old quicker than everybody else.

I wish details of the next SS gathering would be announced.

[mookiemookie]

Granted, but we're meeting on the moon and you don't have the money for space tourism.

I wish I could take a a Fleet Boat out for an afternoon.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but you sink off the coast of Antarctica, and you freeze to death in the ocean.

I wish that I had legally acquired a billion dollars from a lawsuit.

[NiclDoe]

Granted but it would be all fake becuase i accentally photocopied them wrong. :p :lol:
I wish i had a more relaxed life.

[Sea Demon]

Granted but it would be all fake becuase i accentally photocopied them wrong. :p :lol:
I wish i had a more relaxed life.

Granted, but then you will become too relaxed and eventually become morbidly obese from your new sedentary lifestyle. You become so relaxed in fact, and so obese, you get winded starting up your favorite subsim. This causes you to go into severe depression and you commit suicide.

I wish the fairy godmother would give me a Burger King Whopper w/cheese.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but they are also her favourite and it is already half eaten.

I wish lots of people will donate to SS to get an early copy of GWX 2.0

[TarJak]

Granted, they ALL do and SS crashes due to the load on Neal servers causing his ISP to ban him. Nice work Jim!:nope:

I wish drinking alcohol didn't give you a hang over.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but that muck you drink in upside down land isn't very strong anyways http://imgcash5.imageshack.us/img265/6747/partypiratesro0.gif

I wish the fox would never get caught.

[TteFAboB]

Granted. You wake up in Soviet Russia, where the fox gets to catch you!

I wish I could draw.

[Biggles]

Granted, but I drew faster. Bang! You're dead!:dead:


I wish the bloody snow would stay on the ground and not melt at once as it does now!

[Hakahura]

Granted. The snow does stay on the ground and not melt at once as it does now! However because it never melts the effect is cumulative. Your wish has plunged us all into a premeture ice-age.

I wish I hadn't just run out of cigarettes.

[TteFAboB]

Granted, you just run out of lighters and matches instead.

I wish somebody could draw faster than Biggles and avenge my death.

[Sea Demon]

Granted, you just run out of lighters and matches instead.

I wish somebody could draw faster than Biggles and avenge my death.

Granted, I take on the task. I develop amazing gunslinging skills and bring down Biggles for you. But it changes nothing......you are still dead and festering with maggots. :dead:

I wish I would get a record contract and become a major rock star.

[TarJak]

Granted, but whilst partying at your hotel after your first concert you drink too much and choke to death on your own vomit increasing your popularity 100fold but decreasing your chances of making a comeback tour.

I wish I had a glass of water.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but the water came from the Thames in the early 1800's.
Enjoy your... river water/sewage smoothie...:88)


I wish I had a short midget with some gin in the room to entertain me.

[Hakahura]

Granted. The midget entertains you by juggling some bottles of gin. Eventually the bottles hit the floor. The entertainment is now gone, as has the gin.

I wish my internet connection was faster and more realiable.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but you use your enhance internet connection to download much more than you have in the past, and your ISP enforce they're 'fair usage policy' and put a cap on you that is less than you originally had.

I wish cars could run on water instead of petrol.

[bookworm_020]

Granted, but you live in the desert, so your going nowhere!

I wish I could rule Australia!

[Biggles]

Granted, but the aussies would revolt against you, 'cause you've sunk all their ships.:nope: ;)


I wish I could sleep.....

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but you sleep FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, contracting painful bed sores in the process.

I wish that I could be supreme ruler of the universe.

[TarJak]

Granted, However it is the alternate universe that is no larger than a speck of dust that exists on the bottom of my shoe, that you rule.

I wish I had a pet tame Komodo Dragon.

[TteFAboB]

Granted, but it dies after swimming with your tamed Sea Wasp, biting it and infecting it along the process, leaving you without any pets in the end.

I wish TarJak was my Australian pet.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but don't forget he needs his bottle and a nappie change 4 times per day.

I wish Vegemite was the only food in Australia.

[NiclDoe]

Granted but after a month all the food would run out and everyone would start a riot.
I wish the PS3 never exsited and all their was was Wiis

[bookworm_020]

Granted, but then they release PS4 which makes Nintendo bring out a new console, but it crashes and burns, taking down Nintendo and redering the Wii unplayable. The X box 720 causes Microsoft to suffer a blue screen of death on wall street. Leaving only Sony and Apple to rule the world

I wish I had a high end computer that could run SH4 maxed out and have internet access.

[fatty]

Granted, but then they release PS4 which makes Nintendo bring out a new console, but it crashes and burns, taking down Nintendo and redering the Wii unplayable. The X box 720 causes Microsoft to suffer a blue screen of death on wall street. Leaving only Sony and Apple to rule the world

I wish I had a high end computer that could run SH4 maxed out and have internet access.

Granted, but c'mon, is SH4 really that great a way to use your free time? I mean, really? Is that how you want to spend your days? I'm not sayin' anything, just sayin'.

I wish I'd get an A+ on this essay I have to hand in tomorrow.

[mookiemookie]

I wish I'd get an A+ on this essay I have to hand in tomorrow.

Granted. You get an A+ on "Why Hitler Was Just Misunderstood" and get a knock on your door from Mossad the next day.

I wish I was getting a nice Christmas bonus.

[Bort]

Granted, but then you'd end up hording all of your money and becoming quite akin to a Mr. Scrooge that we all know very well.

I wish I had an Aston Martin DBS.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but you are catapulted out of the passenger's seat and over a cliff when Mr. Goldfinger shoots a bullet into the front of the car.

I wish that SubSim would become the modern Nazi.:hmm:

[Reaves]

Granted but the people of subsim know about history and rise up against the evil. You end up tied to a stake with little ants bitting your privates.

I wish I had leather pants with holes where my butt cheeks go.

[TarJak]

Granted, but as this is your normal Saturday night attire, nobody notices the difference.

I wish I could find that piece of paper with the phone number I need.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but your wife found it first and now your in real trouble.

I wish TS was utilised more.

[TarJak]

Granted, but then you foot the bill for the spiralling bandwidth costs.

I wish my wife hadn't found that phone number!:oops:

[Reaves]

Granted but now your still looking for it.

I wish I was eating a huge sea-food buffet right now.

[TteFAboB]

Granted, but I find most of it to be disgusting and can't help but puke all over you. Sorry!

I wish I owned Nintendo.

[TarJak]

Granted, however SuperMario and Donkey Kong gang up to manage a hostile takover that does not cover your cost of buying the comapny, leaving you destitute and looking for a new job as my pet.

I wish TteFAboB wasn't my pet anymore.

[Reno]

Granted but then no one would want him because it would be too difficult to say, Here TteFAbob, here boy!

I wish the JP hydrophone would stop rotating while surfaced so I'd have someplace to sit down with my sun reflector and six pack of Schlitz.

[Dowly]

Granted, but after a few hours of sunbathing you'd be badly burned and the rest of the patrol would be a living nightmare for your skin and the pain would drive you mad, resulting you thinking you're an mermaid.

I wish I wouldnt need to walk to get mi case of beer.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but that would probably mean you were disabled, in a wheelchair and might even have to fly to do your shopping.....and we've all seen how bad a pilot you are :lol:

I wish everyone on TS would use a mic.

[Dowly]

Oh you cheeky fecka! :p

Granted, but you would all be put down by my sexy voice and would lose all your money to a therapist that insists that YOU have the sexiest voice on earth.

I wish, 'Jimbuna's Penguins' would die an horrible death. :yep:

[TarJak]

Granted but their ghosts haunt you for the rest of your life.

I wish TS had a video function so you could see who you are talking to.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but having seen the picture you posted of yourself over at The Lair, eveyone would feign a video capture malfunction.

I wish Britain never experienced its annual winter season.

[DeepIron]

Granted! In the spiriit of Monty Python, Britain goes from Autumn directly to Summer, bypassing Winter and Spring altogether. However, the enviromental reason for this change is due to global warming and soon the rest of the world is caught in the throes of "perpetual summer" as well

I wish the dust bunnies under my bed would migrate somewhere else...

[TteFAboB]

Granted, they migrate into your mind. You are now in coma, living a nightmare that has you trapped inside a dust bunny maze, where you spend your days eating dry skin cells and fleeing from giant insects.

I wish SpongeBob lived in my bathtub.

[Dowly]

Granted, but would it really be so cool to have a living sponge washing your private parts, saying "Haha, you call THAT a d*ck?" or "Man, dont you know what the toilet paper is used for?".

I wish I'd have an real, working Messerschmitt 109 to fly around in.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but on your maiden flight the Finnish Airforce (if they have one hehe) would shoot you down fearing it was a German invasion.

I wish brings mr everything I want this year.

[Kratos]

Granted. first on the list is a keyboard thats types the letters you meant to spell when your drunk ;)

i wish i had a better messerschmitt than Dowly ;)

[Dowly]

Granted, but you'd soon lose all your money repairing it after all them "landings I can walk away from".

I wish human cloning was possible and legal, so I could wish Keira Knightley from Santa and actually have a change of getting it!

[Kratos]

Granted.. I'll send it by mail order.YOU have to blow it up yourself mind!! http://imgcash1.imageshack.us/img50/3402/tonguegs0.gif !!

I wish xmas was over..

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but you become known as the modern day ebenezer scrooge and an outcast in your home town.

I wish dark rum was as cheap as pop.

[DeepIron]

Granted! Overnight, due to an unexpected glut in the world Rum reserves, the price of dark rum plummets to a record low. The world, always ready for a smoking deal, immediately switches from Pepsi to Bacardi and now we have a planet full of drunks...

I wish people of all races, creeds and nationalities would just get along...

[TteFAboB]

Granted, every single person on this planet joins up in friendship against you. They will get along for as long as you last, which shouldn't be very much, unfortunately.

I wish every airfleet from every airline had nothing but Concordes.

[Reno]

Granted, but then every passenger would receive almost twice the flux of extra-terrestrial ionising radiation and that means that before long everyone would be glowing in the dark and you'd never get any sleep.

I wish I wasn't so good looking.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but you look like this:

http://blog.dreamhost.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/09/ugly_dog2.jpg

I wish that I had another McDonald's sweet-tea.

[NiclDoe]

Ganted but you will drink all the tea they have and will have no money left.:lol:
I wish that in the US we had 4 feet of snow everywhere.

[Reno]

Granted, it would be easier walking on four feet instead of two, but then, in the summertime, when everyones feet made of snow melted, they'd have to crawl on their bellies and you'd have all these slime trails everywhere.

I wish I had Ozzy Osbourne's bat coat.

[RamRod]

Granted, it would be easier walking on four feet instead of two, but then, in the summertime, when everyones feet made of snow melted, they'd have to crawl on their bellies and you'd have all these slime trails everywhere.

I wish I had Ozzy Osbourne's bat coat.

Granted but then you discover you are allergic to bat skin and die a horrible bloated anaphylactic shock death.

I wish my wife looked like Catherine Zeta-Jones

[Reno]

Granted, but then every masked swordsman in the world would be trying to pop her corset with his blade.

I wish Catherine Zeta-Jones would call me more often.

[DeepIron]

Granted! She does! But what she calls you can't be repeated here due to the forum rules...:smug:

I wish the Smurfs would make a comeback.

[bookworm_020]

Granted, but Gargamel gets to capture them all this time as the the smurfs have been given a darker look to compete with other cartoons, no more happy ends and the smurfs are all found to be in the illegal drug trade growing magic mushrooms.

I whish I had my credit card debts cleared every month without me having to pay anything.

[TarJak]

Granted, but that's called embezellment and you get 3 years in jail.

I wish I had ninja skills.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but because of your obesity (and I have the photo) :lol: , You lose your balance whilst trying to enter your targets apartment on the 22nd floor balcony and fall/bounce to your death.

I wish I was the next king of England.

http://i224.photobucket.com/albums/dd320/pasquarade/wolf-38.gif

[Dowly]

Granted, but as soon as the people hear YOU will be the next King, they flee Britain in panic and you are left alone.

I wish I'd live in the Playboy Mansion. :smug:

[TteFAboB]

Granted, but it's definitely not worth being ass-raped 8 times a day by Mr. Hefner. Remember to wish for a female genitalia next time.

I wish I could choke people using The Force like Darth Vader.

[Reno]

Granted. But then one morning while shaving very carefully around your Adam's Apple, there's a flux in the Force. You die a slow and painful death as you strangle yourself while watching it all in real time in the bathroom mirror.

I wish I wasn't so clever.

[DeepIron]

Granted! Your not.

I wish they would make a "Made for TV" mini-series that was actually worth watching...

[Reno]

Granted. The mini-series, based on my life, will be out next Fall.

I wish Catherine Zeta-Jones didn't find me so irresistable.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, she has now had both her cataracts removed and now realises how ugly you are.

I wish I had x-ray vision.

http://i224.photobucket.com/albums/dd320/pasquarade/wolf-38.gif

[Dowly]

Granted, but you'd find yourself bumping to walls which you cant see, causing a brain damage and you end up like grandpa Simpson.

I wish I'd finally figured how the image has something to do with Enigma on that Enigma: Rising Tide banner we see on top of the forums.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but that would mean you were as intelligent as Neal and people would become extremely concerned as to why a ferret (without a voice :lol:) was in charge of SS.

I wish England would win the World Cup again.

[Hakahura]

Granted. England win the World Cup again. However Football commentators repeatedly mention 1966 and 2010 in the same breath giving the Scot's yet another reason to moan about the Ba****d English.

I wish my heating was working.