Game: Crush Each Other's Dreams

[NealT]

Granted, south is north provided you are standing in the wrong spot at the right time.

I wish I weren't so confused.

[nikimcbee]

Granted, south is north provided you are standing in the wrong spot at the right time.

I wish I weren't so confused.
Granted, what were you saying again?

I wish we could have a baby:hmm:
http://www.anyfun.net/animation/gifs/adultgif2.gif

[Randomizer]

Granted, but it turns out to be a baby elephant that resists all attempts at house breaking except when it is actually breaking your house. The food bills alone drive you into poverty and the dogs now hate your guts...

I wish for a large frosted mug filled with my favorite lager.

[NealT]

Granted, but since you were in the head at the time, Steed snuck out of the crawlspaces and drank it, leaving you with an empty frosted mug and lager leftover in the glass.

I wish I weren't so tired this morning.

[Raptor1]

Granted, you went to sleep yesterday and completely flopped whatever it is you were trying to achieve

I wish I had a lead balloon

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you have a lead balloon, but you are at 20,000 feet in the basket of your lead balloon and, well, you know

I wish I could quit sneezing and wheezing

[Tango589]

Granted, you have a lead balloon, but you are at 20,000 feet in the basket of your lead balloon and, well, you know

I wish I could quit sneezing and wheezing

Granted, you quit sneezing, wheezing and breathing altogether. Your demise is unfortunate. Still, never mind.

I wish I was at the Subsim meet instead of work.

[Task Force]

Granted, but they put you to work, and keep you working the entire time.;)

I wish for my P.E. teacher to dissapear and never bother me again.:D

[kranz]

Granted, your p.e teacher disapears and you don't take exercises-you become fatter and fatter, no girl likes you and you end up as a zoo attraction.

I wish I hadn't been totally drunk today between my university classes and hadn't destroyed my friend's chair.

[NealT]

Granted, you didn't - your evil twin did.

I wish . . . . . . . .

[nikimcbee]

Granted, you didn't - your evil twin did.

I wish . . . . . . . .

That steed would come back.
Granted, but he is reincarnated as a Tracktorsimmer and just talks about farming



I wish I didn't have to get up at 5 am tomorrow

[NealT]

Granted, you don't. You have to get up at 4 AM instead.

I wish they had not cancelled the training classes...

[nikimcbee]

Granted, you don't. You have to get up at 4 AM instead.

I wish they had not cancelled the training classes...

Granted, and you love your 3 hour lemaz class, just breath slowly now.

I wish my batteries would charge faster

[Raptor1]

Granted, but they explode when they finish refilling

I wish I had a car with retractable headlight howitzers

[Task Force]

Granted, but it dosent have a motor, Pretty worthless huh.;)

I wish for Mc bees plane to arrive at the SS meeting early.:yep:

[NealT]

Granted, but it doesn't matter because you missed yours.

I wish I could be at the SUBSIM 2008 meeting...:cry:

[12 hours later and no one has responded? What did I do?! Kill the thread? :oops:]

[TarJak]

Granted, but none of us will talk to you

I wish my wife was able to come to the Subsim meeting

[Task Force]

Granted but she puts you to work, and you constantly have to do what she says.;)

I wish I knew if SH5 is gona have U-boats.:rock:

[TarJak]

Granted, you now know it doesn't and you have to keep waving your Wii over your head to keep your Turtle from sinking

I wish I could spell Nintendo

[Task Force]

Granted you just did.

I wish I had a could be invisiable, and go into the room where you all were playing SH5 earlyer so I could see what it is about.:D

[Raptor1]

Granted, you have a could-be-invisiable, but it doesn't help you get in there too much

I wish Cologne lost 3 more BRPs than it did

[TarJak]

Granted, and I don't want to crush that wish

I wish I could run faster

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you can now run faster than the speed of light thereby causing you not to see the brick wall directly in front of you resulting in a collision large enough to cause a green hole in the space-time warpinuum and we are all sucked into an alternate universe where Uboatcomrade is the supreme being and all humans are transformed into tiny ant-like creatures whose sole purpose is to be stepped on

I wish Mr. Bill didn't get squished all the time

[Raptor1]

Granted, he gets mowed down instead

I wish it wasn't...THE THING!

[TarJak]

Granted, it's not the thing is the thang

I wish the thang had more thing in it

[Matilda]

Granted, but only because an old sixties doo wap group thang a thong, called whama lama thing dong.

I wish I could be young again.

[Raptor1]

Granted, you are now an embryo, too bad you can't survive in this harsh world

I wish ICBMs tasted like chicken

[Rilder]

Granted, they cause diarrhea.

I wish I had another cup of hot cocoa.

[Type941]

Granted, they cause diarrhea.

I wish I had another cup of hot cocoa.

Granted, but it has melanine in it.

I wish that ice in arctica would not melt in 5 years.

[Raptor1]

Granted, it melts in 2 years instead

I wish I could stop trying to engage the AAA head on

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you now engage the AAA ass first

I wish I knew of a wish worth wishing that wasn't crushable

[Raptor1]

Granted, but it isn't usable by mortals

I wish it wasn't 1945 *glances at post count*

[TarJak]

Granted, Its 2008 silly!

I wish I hadn't drunk 17 beers last night

[NealT]

Granted, you didn't. You were so drunk after the first one that you missed your mouth with the rest of them and poured them on the ground instead.

I wish I were down there to drink beer with the SUBSIM crew...:cry:

[Kipparikalle]

Granted, but only to find out that the dude behind the counter thinks that you are younger than 18.


I wish I'd get everyone on the earth infected with aids, and then I'd be swimming in the pool of aids

[Raptor1]

Granted, but you die as soon as the job is done

I wish it wasn't...REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY!

[Task Force]

Granted now it is KILLER UNREVERSE PSYCHOLOGY!!!:p

I wish I was at the subsim Paintball game at neals house, with a paintball gun and a shirt that is old and can get covered in paint.:|\\

[Raptor1]

Granted, but nobody told you they would be using real guns and what shirt you take does not really matter anymore

I wish you didn't bother taking the old shirt

[Task Force]

Granted, now task force takes a bullet proof shirt, and bullet proof pants, and bullet proof head gear, and bullet proof shoes. Made out of the most advanced lightest metal.;)

I wish that I had a four day weekend next weekend.

[SandyCaesar]

Granted, but no one told you that the armor degrades instantly upon contact with air, so your four-day weekend doesn't matter.;)

I wish that I had the week off.

[Task Force]

Granted but its not this week, not next week, the week after that, or the week after the week after the week after that.

I wish that it was raining outside.;)

Woo Hoo I started a new page.

[Raptor1]

Granted, you have the week off because of your impending heavy metal (No...the other kind) induced poisioning and imminent death

EDIT: Bah, damn you and your crystal ball

Granted, but it's raining all the way over near my house, not directly outside yours

I wish napalm in the morning didn't smell so much like burnt stuff

[SandyCaesar]

Granted, it smells caramelized.

I wish that you would decide if I died of metal poisoning or simply had a week off somewhere in the future.

[Task Force]

Granted but the results put you in your grave.;)

I wish sandy Caesar didnt die form metal poisoning.:yep:

[Raptor1]

Granted, he died from overwork instead

I wish for more...BLOOD! (Not mine, mind you)

[Task Force]

Granted but you later find that it was from a cow with mad cow disease, eventual you go crazy and you die.

I wish mad cow disease didnt exist.

[SandyCaesar]

Granted, it goes back to its previous name...PMS.

:lol:...:D...:)...:-?...
:huh:...:o...:gulp:

I wish that Penelope Grey/Sea Queen/all the rest wouldn't disembowel me.

[Raptor1]

Granted, they decapitate you instead

I wish I had my Gore-O-Matic 3000 Massacre Camera handy to watch the slaughter

[Task Force]

Granted, but there is on film in it.


I wish Raptor1 had film.

[NealT]

Granted, but then you find he lost his camera.

I wish today were last Thursday.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but this creates a time paradox, and every single day is last Thursday.

I wish that I had a peppermint (I didn't get one with my SONIC order...).

[Task Force]

Granted you get a peperment but you dont get your meal.

I wish for a number 4, breaded, With french fryes, and a Large Ice Tea.:D

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but you have a stroke from all the fat and grease.

I wish that the negro community would frown upon my shenanigans.

[Task Force]

Granted, they dont just frown. they kill you!:yep:

I wish my grandma wasnt staying with us this week. SHE IS GETTING ON MY NERVES!!!!!!:stare:

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, she isn't staying with your for this week, she's staying with you for all eternity

I wish wishes were fishes

[Task Force]

Granted now every time you make a wish, you get a stinky old fish on your head.;)

I wish that Fish would stop falling on everyones head.:yep:

[SandyCaesar]

Granted. Now whales start falling instead.:doh:

I wish...for a wish...

[Task Force]

And your wish turns into a Fish, but now fish are whales. Good luck.;)

I wish it would stom raining fish and whales!!!:huh:

[TarJak]

Granted, the fish and whale rain has stommed which means it will continue for another year

I wish I could stay in Texas for a while longer

[Task Force]

Granted, but texas dosent want you.;)


I wish I know why texas dosent want TarJack.:yep:

[richardphat]

Granted. There are no more war. No one does mean stuff. It's the boredom. You had nothing to do. You rather do dirty trick to tease people.
I wish i had toads and put it in the tea cup to scare them!

[Task Force]

I belive you just crushed the wrong dream.:lol:

Granted you have toads and a cup of tea to scare them with, but it dosent work.:yep:

I wish for something, I just dont know what I want now.:hmm:

[Raptor1]

Granted, and that something has been thoroughly...crushed!

I wish rifles were more effective against zombies

[NealT]

They are, provided you aim them correctly, which with your squinty little beady eyes you are unable to effectively do even with coke bottle glasses.

I wish I had more credits...

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you have more credits, but in this backwords world they now are debits and your balance sheet becomes unbalanced and falls off of the table, crashes through the floor all the way to the center of the earth causing the earth's implosion

I wish my Freezenbunder wasn't gefookin'

[NealT]

Granted, it isn't...it is fegookin instead which causes credits to turn into debits which become so heavy that they crash through the earth's crust, mantel, and deep into the core which causes.....WAIT A MINUTE! We have just gone through that...

Oh Well...

I wish for a repeat of the SUBSIM 2008 meet in 2009 (less the hurricane) :smug:

[Task Force]

Granted, theres a Huge wave and its heading towards Texas now.;) No meeting for you.:yep:

I wish for it to be last Friday 10/11/08th at 3:05pm.:D

[NealT]

Granted, it is, but here comes that big wave headed for Texas so...no Subsim meet for you.

I wish the meet had been in town where I live...

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, the meet was in the town where you live, but you didn't know it and are now wandering around Texas (gonna take a lot of wandering) wondering where everyone is

I wish that kitten from down the street that seems to have adopted us would quit walking on my keynnv;oiug;'ogh'lj"O*(7vt5pug'ouGR:VUG'

[NealT]

Granted, it stops walking and starts spraying your keynnv;oiug;'ogh'lj"O*(7vt5pug'ouGR:VUG' killing them all.

I wish my leg didn't hurt so much...:cry:

[Task Force]

Granted, Its cut off.

I wish for 99 bottles of beer on the wall.

[Raptor1]

Granted, on the wall that's schedualed to be demolished...now

I wish I had a bulldozer to demolish that wall

[Tango589]

Granted, on the wall that's schedualed to be demolished...now

I wish I had a bulldozer to demolish that wall

Granted, but you don't have a key to start it.

I wish I had an unending supply of whiskey.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but the infinite weight of it causes the world to collapse into a black hole

I wish Tango hadn't so foolishly thrown away our lives

[TarJak]

Granted, it was only your life needlessly thrown away. The rest of us will be remembered for our brave posting on Subsim until the final moment.

I wish my wife was with me in San Francisco.

[Philipp_Thomsen]

Granted, it was only your life needlessly thrown away. The rest of us will be remembered for our brave posting on Subsim until the final moment.

I wish my wife was with me in San Francisco.

Granted, but now you'll need to explain yourself about your girlfriend, your lover, and those two girls you just met at the bar, who invited you to a party later tonight.

I with I had some money so I didn't starv to death like I'm doing now...

[rifleman13]

Granted, you have the money but the food you will buy is tainted with that stuff in Chinese milk. Bon appetite!

I wish for the Stargate Program to be real...

[TarJak]

Granted, and they decide to test it with you. But they don't know where or when you end up, however it can only end in tears

I wish it hadn't ended in tears.

[Raptor1]

Granted, it ended in blood instead

I wish you all would be too afraid to crush this wish

[TarJak]

Granted, I'm afraid that crushing this wish will destroy the earth. But what the heck....

I wish the uncrushable wish

[Raptor1]

Granted, it's the wish that had already been crushed

I wish this wasn't my 2,000th post

[rifleman13]

Granted, because it ain't!

I wish for the total extermination of cockroaches...

[Philipp_Thomsen]

Granted, now instead of cockroaches, SPIDERS are running your bed while you're sleeping. :arrgh!:

I wish that the next post is posted by a gay person! :arrgh!:

[NealT]

Granted, I am quite a happy camper right now...after all, it is before 0600, raining, cold, and I have to go to work instead of playing my computer...the dogs are whining and the wife said, "Not today dear, I have a headache."

I wish I had not gotten up so early this morning.

[rifleman13]

Granted, you got up late the next morning with someone other than your wife and it is not a woman... :lol: :arrgh!:

I wish SH3 was more open source... :arrgh!:

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, SH3 is more open source, but the wish granter heard you wrong and thought you wished for open sores

I wish the world was covered in dark chocolate

[Raptor1]

Granted, now we cannot wage submarine warfare as the oceans are covered, leading to this forum not existing and you not being able to wish that wish

I wish paradoxes weren't so fun

[Jimbuna]

Granted, they are now hilarious.

I wish the Grey Wolves had been able to spend more time together in Texas.

[Rilder]

Granted, they now know each other in ways that they will never talk about.

I wish there was something on TV to watch.

[Tango589]

Granted, they now know each other in ways that they will never talk about.

I wish there was something on TV to watch.

Granted, unfortunately it's the Waltons.

I wish cars were easier to fix.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but it costs much, much more

I wish I could find an excuse to unleash my nuclear weapons

[TarJak]

Granted, but you will learn that releasing them in your underwear is not a good idea

I wish I didn't have a 12 hour plane trip to do tonight

[Philipp_Thomsen]

Granted, they now know each other in ways that they will never talk about.


:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

[Tango589]

Granted, but you will learn that releasing them in your underwear is not a good idea

I wish I didn't have a 12 hour plane trip to do tonight

Granted, you have to do a 12 hour Segway trip instead.

I wish people would throw gross stuff at Tarjak when he's on his Segway.

[TarJak]

Granted, they are throwing gross amounts of money at me and my Segway

I wish TS had a video mode

[Raptor1]

Granted, but it costs so much bandwith that it's wholly useless

I wish TarJak would gimme some of that money

[Digital_Trucker]

Gratned, Tarjak gives you some of that money, but it's Monopoly money made out of Limberger cheese (that's why it was gross amounts:D)

I wish submarines had spinner hubcaps

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but they soon corrode in the salt water and fall off.

I wish TarJak has a safe, uneventful flight back to the penal colony tonight.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but he dies from boredom, unfortunatly the warden blames you for it and sends you to solitary

I wish Australia was still a penal colony

[Jimbuna]

Granted, it is....but now they are reasonably educated they want freedom.

I wish tarJak would phone me to announce his safe arrival.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but it's a prank call done by a kid who isn't TarJak.

I wish that I could have the voice talent of Bobby McFerrin.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted you now have the voice talent of Bobby McFerrin, your new single "Don't Smile, Be Crabby" will be released next week

I wish break-dancing involved breaking things

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but that unfortunately only applies to bones breaking.

I wish that I could kill a person by just thinking about them and then uttering the word "Kill".

[Task Force]

But you think of yourself and utter the word "kill".;)

I wish I had procetion aginst Stealth Hunter`s wish.:up:

[Raptor1]

Granted, but the police finds out about it thanks to bugs implemented in your house after you were aquitted from your last murder case and sends you to Australia for the rest of your miserable life after permenantly removing your tongue

EDIT: Damn this long crush

Granted, but since there's no such thing as "procetion", you have to make do with some protection instead

I wish that you would finally learn your lesson

[Task Force]

Granted but I soon forget.

I whish you would learn your lesson.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but the educational costs are staggering and you have to pay them

I wish the wish of wishes that was wished upon a wish or some other random combination of words

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you get the wish of wishes that was wished upon a wish or some other random combination of words, but the random combination of words is "Raptor1" and "kill"and is uttered by Stealth Hunter

I wish dinner would hurry up and get here and be good and not poisonous and won't kill me or blow up

[Task Force]

Granted, but you have a nice mug of sludge to drink with it.;)


I wish that DT or I didnt have to drink that sludge.

[SandyCaesar]

Granted, you have it injected intravenously.

I wish that IV's weren't so damned inconvenient...:damn:

[NealT]

Granted they aren't for the person who is starting them.

I wish I hadn't read Sailor Steve's tale of the Subsim meet because now I am homesick...:cry:

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but your homesickness causes you to hijack a plane for home. You fail, unfortunately, and are labeled a terrorist. Then, you are sent to Gitmo.

I wish that I could talk to animals.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but when you hear of the animal's plans to take over the world and rush to warn the human population, you are tagged as a crazy man and thrown into a sanitarium

I wish Stealth Hunter wasn't so crazy

[Jimbuna]

Granted, he is now insane.

I wish I wish upon a star.

[NealT]

Granted, you do in the middle of space, the star is hot and there is no air so you do not feel a thing as your body is vaporized into little bitty atoms of dust and TJ gets to take control of your postcount.

I wish today were just a tad bit warmer.

[Koondawg]

Granted today is warmer...although just a tad, which means instead of 37 deg it's 39. But the wind starts to blow and we all know what wind chill factor is...your ass is still cold...


I wish teeth didn't have nerves in them...



KD

[Tango589]

Granted, but now you don't realise that they have all gone rotten and wonder why people keep backing away from you, when it is the foul dog-breath you are emitting that is doing it.

I wish Koondawg had some breath-mints.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, Koondawg has some breath mints, and he gives one to you, but they are the huge round ones that are seen in urinals and the one he gives you is used


I wish I hadn't grossed myslef out thinking of that crush

[ubootcomrade]

Granted, but Koondawg gives you a mint and demands that you eat it.


I wish for some delicious kidney pie which hasnt been poisioned, tampered with in anyway, is nice and warm and it is not a spy.

[Raptor1]

Granted, it's...YOUR Kidney

I wish kidneys were made from kids (communists, preferably) and knees

[ubootcomrade]

Granted, im now kidneyless and I cant walk, thanks a lot :cry: :shifty:


I wish that raptor1 would lose his legs in a freak microwave incident

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, some freak living in a microwave hacks off Raptor1's legs but then goes crazy and hacks off everyones legs

I wish everyone could walk and had all their internal organs and no more wishes would be crushed

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but now everyone becomes bored and a mass suicide is planned.

I wish chocolate wouldn't melt.

[Task Force]

Granted, now thay cant melt it on to hot fudge, or mold it into candybars/chocolate rabbits.:lol:

I wish I had 1 candy bar.:D

[Jimbuna]

Ganted, but only the wrapper...I ate it's contents.

I wish tremors were theraputic.

[Rilder]

Granted, they kill you so you don't have any stress to be relieved.

I wish I knew a programing language.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you now know APL ("A Programming Language", yes it's really named that:D), but no one uses it for anything so you are destined to remain permanently unemployed and destitute

I wish COBOL was a flavor

[TarJak]

Granted, COBOL is now the same flavour as sulphuric acid and you just volunteered for the blind taste test

I wish I had a nice cold beer

[Task Force]

Granted, But it comes in a cup that they just used to get all the water out of the overflowing Toilet.:up:

I wish they could fix that toilet.:lol:

[Jimbuna]

Granted, they reposition it above your headboard...remember the overflow isn't fixed mind.

I wish the next SS Meet was next month.

[TarJak]

Granted, but it's in Argentina and they won't let you into the country.

I wish subsim meeting happened every month but not in Argentina

[kranz]

Granted, it's not in Argentina. It is on Cuba.(every month)

I wish Castro was alive

[Raptor1]

Granted, he is still alive, and communism still haunts the earth

I wish all communists would die a miserable death

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, all communists die a miserable death, but this means that the vast majority of congress and half of the senate are now dead and are replaced with a bunch of guys in french maid outfits who consort with sheep

I wish this guy :|\\ would quit smoking so he'll live longer

[Task Force]

Granted, now he goes crazy from trying to quit smokeing.

I wish for a magic lamp.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but the genie is on strike because of union regulations

I wish genies didn't unionize

[Task Force]

Granted, now they are all out of work.

I wish my Genie wasnt out of work.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, your genie is now back in work, but also back in the lamp, permanently

I wish my freekingoober wasn't so frackenblasted

[TarJak]

Granted, its been flagnasticated instead

I wish Robespierre hadn't ordered Danton's execution

[Tango589]

Granted, he ordered him to clean the communal latrines forever, starting at the outbreak of the plague.

I wish I was in Philadelphia.

[NealT]

Granted you are - at the outbreak of the plague cleaning communal latrines...

I wish I weren't coming down with a head cold.

[Tango589]

Granted, you come down with crippling dysentry.

I wish I didn't have to clean the latrine after NealT.

[Task Force]

Granted, now you have to clean the Latrine after everyone here except NealT and Task Force.:up:

I wish that Tango589 would get paid 1$ a person for cleaning the Latrine.:lol:

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted Tango589 gets paid $1 for every person that uses the latrine, but since there is no toilet paper in the latrine, the $1 per person that he gets paid are the dollars that they wiped their butts with

I wish Tango589 wouldn't have too much trouble spending those brown bills

[Task Force]

Granted, but somehow they find there way into your change at the store.;)

I wish for something.

[Raptor1]

Granted, that something has been thoroughly crushed

I wish I wished more wishes

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but none of them come true.

I wish I had another weeks leave to take.

[Raptor1]

Granted, you took someone else's leave and he's not happy

I wish Jimbuna's hospital bill wasn't so high

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, Jimbunas hospital bill isn't so high anymore, it has been paid by the biatch across the desk from him and she is expecting to be paid back in trade

I wish the UFOs would come take us all away to someplace nice (someplace that's not Uranus)

[NealT]

Granted, they do...to planet Utopia, which has an aptmosphere of methane gas...and you can guess what happens when we step out into it.

I wish I wish I wish I wish...

[Jimbuna]

I wish I wish I wish I wish... That I could kiss jimbunas bitch.

I wish I could take pictures of the event.

[kranz]

Granted, you took those pictures but the film exploded.

I wish Jimbuna had a digital camera.

[TarJak]

Granted, he does and take photos of you and your mistress and blackmails you by threatening to send them to your wife.

I wish life was less complicated

[NealT]

It is - you are born, you pay taxes, you die.

I wish I were more than 2 meters away from JB...

[Jimbuna]

Granted you are now 3 metres away but still within touching and smelling distance of the bitch that sits opposite him at work.

I wish I could swap places with Freddie the Frog.

[TarJak]

Granted, Freddie the Frog has just gotten a job as a sewage tunnel inspector

I wish I had the ability to fix the world financial crisis

[bookworm_020]

Granted, but no one every asks you how, so it just goes on!

I wish I could start my new job as a train driver next week!

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but it's a steam train, so people will continue to say "he always left the station with a puff".

I wish my engine was a diesel or an electric.

[Raptor1]

Granted, it's an electric, but you have no diesel to charge it

I wish I didn't get bogged in the mud on the Western Front

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you don't get bogged in the mud on the Western Front, you get bogged in the quicksand instead

I wish pie charts tasted better

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but only marginally better than dog sick.

I wish it was time to go home.

[Tango589]

Granted, but only marginally better than dog sick.

I wish it was time to go home.

Granted, but you have to go to the home of that bitch who sits opposite you.

I wish Blellow was a colour.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but it's so ugly it has been forgotten thousands of years ago

I wish time broke when people tried to bend it

[Koondawg]

Granted time breaks when you bend it...although a welder is at hand to fix it...he doesn't do a great job and derailment results in a time continuum which no one recovers....you are put in jail resulting in becoming Bubba's bitch forever...your traded for cigarettes...

I wish I could fight this cold off....


KD

[TarJak]

Granted, you do but are then attacked by a contagious troll with a +20 level armour upgrade

I wish I knew whether It was what we thought It was or not

[Jimbuna]

Granted, you are now sure it wasn't what you thought it might have been.

I wish I could catch my breath.

[Koondawg]

Granted you catch your breath but your lungs are left behind, you ran so fast the wind cuts you to the bone....


I wish headcolds were curable with a simple shot of scotch...

KD

[TarJak]

Granted, but injecting Scotch intravenously actually caused more problems than the cold it cures

I wish i had a tool that made it simple to back up the data I need to back up

[NealT]

Granted, you now have a sledgehammer and you can back up all of the data you want clear to the stone ages as you smash your hard drives into itsy-bitsy pieces...

I wish today were a holiday...and I had it off with pay...

[rifleman13]

Granted, then the your boss says the pay you're receiving is your final paycheck.

I wish for something good and nice over the the rainbow...

[Raptor1]

Granted, it's the Leprechaun's gold, grab it!

I wish I could go to the end of the rainbow and then sack the Leprechauns for their gold

[NealT]

Granted, you do, then you are destroyed by the Celtic Women who have been using the Leprechauns for centuries as .....

I wish everyone weren't so negative with their crushes...

[TarJak]

Granted, I'll positively crush your dream for you

I wish to carry on the legacy of my forefathers

[rifleman13]

Granted, this includes their all of their financial debts...

I wish for someone to "take care" of somebody... :sunny:

[Raptor1]

Granted, Raptor1 shall now "take care" of "rifleman" with some "cement"

I wish cement wasn't so expensive

[Jimbuna]

Granted, it's now cheap, but the water needed ti mix it with has soared to astronomical levels.

I wish I knew why an elephant never forgets.

[NealT]

Granted, you do...but you forget.

I wish I weren't so fat.

[Raptor1]

Granted, you are now so thin you have to be hospitalized with all sorts of tubes

I wish it was not to be (Alas)

[TarJak]

Granted it is not to be but still is (Alack)

I wish I knew what Alack meant

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you now know what Alack means, but are so confounded by it's definition that you can only babble and drool in your shiny new white straight jacket

I wish TarJak's straight jacket was paisley print instead of white

[Jimbuna]

Granted, and seeing as it's your favourite colour, you can now wear it.

I wish I knew where Task Force was.

[TarJak]

Granted, he's behind you wherever you go so don't drop the soap

I wish flying was as easy as lying down

[Task Force]

Granted, now everyones doing it, and the airways get so conjested. The FAA surspends all flying.;)

I wish :hmm:.

[NealT]

Granted, however what it does not tell you is that due to a manfacturer's defect in one of the welds, it sinks to the bottom of the bay on it's first dive...fortunately the crew survives but is split up throughout the rest of the Navy and the Captain is courtmartialed and summarily drummed out of the service.

I wish it were just a tad bit warmer.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but tads are notoriously red hot creatures and you get somewhat singed.

I wish I did what I was thinking of doing earlier.

[Raptor1]

Granted, you go ahead and rob that bank

I wish Jimbuna would share some of his ill-gained non-sequential serial numbered money bills

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, Jimbo shares some of those ill-gotten non-sequential serial numbered money bills, but he shares them with his new mistress (the biatch across the desk)

I wish the biatch would buy me a bunch of big boy toys

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but they are now well worn from prior use/abuse by her.

I wish constapation didn't resemble a logjam.

[Task Force]

Granted now it resembles a traffic jam.

I wish traffic jams wernt so jamed with cars.:yep:

[Raptor1]

Granted, they are jammed with Peshkas full of highly combustible avgas and 1.5 tons of bombs each

(Sorry, not doing the obvious jamming it with jam or ranting about the fact that it's jammed, not jamed)

I wish to be far, far away from any Peshka traffic jams in the near future

[Task Force]

Granted, now you are in the area where traffic jams consist of trucks that hual Nuclear bombs.:lol: and there clocks are almost done ticking.:yep:

I wish I was har away from anything that is explosive.:yep:

[Raptor1]

Granted, you are now in an obscure government research facility, where traffic jams consist of trucks carrying highly corrosive chemical substances

I wish the world just didn't have any traffic jams at all

[Task Force]

Granted, but now lines are longer.

I wish waiting was no longer a bad thing.:yep:

[NealT]

Granted waiting is no longer a bad thing - - - after you are dead.

I wish that I could type faster.

[kranz]

granted, you can type faster but you still can't catch up with Jimbuna The Spammer

I wish she was my girlfriend
http://img115.imageshack.us/img115/1098/newnew4ht1.th.jpg (http://img115.imageshack.us/my.php?image=newnew4ht1.jpg)http://img115.imageshack.us/images/thpix.gif (http://g.imageshack.us/thpix.php)

[Task Force]

Kranz beat me to it.
Granted, now you type so fast they fall off.

I wish NealT`s fingers didnt fall off.:yep:

[Jimbuna]

Granted, yours do instead.

I wish people were respectful and tolerant of one another.

[rifleman13]

Granted! IN YOUR DREAMS!!!

I wish we developed our own directed-energy weapons! :arrgh!:

[TarJak]

Granted, but they lack the energy to actually do any damage

I wish the Grey Wolves could meet every weekend in RL and not just on TS

[Raptor1]

Granted, but the exhaustion and escalating costs cause them to get fired and they are forced to live on the street

I wish reality wasn't cruel

[Task Force]

Granted, now its horiable, its 100 times worst than cruel.

I wish people didnt have to have oxygen to live.:yep:

[Jimbuna]

Granted, word is released and you step outside of your rock only to find out it was a hoax and you suffocate to death.

I wish TarKaks previous wish became a reality.

[Raptor1]

Granted, and so does my crush

I wish I could crush people as well as wishes

[Task Force]

Granted you can now crush people and wishes, sadly whenever you crush a dream or person, a year is taken off your life. You soon forget that and crush dreams everyday, after a month of crushing dreams, you are found dead.

I wish that dream crushing was a sport in the olympics.

[NealT]

Granted it is, on the planet Outer Uranus II, which is covered in methane gas and corrosive acidic goo.

I wish I were home sleeping...

[Raptor1]

Granted, causing you to get fired from your job, and you live out the rest of you pathetic life on the street

I wish NealT didn't doom himself to a cruel fate

[Task Force]

Granted, he doons you to a crule fate.:up: Good luck with that.

I wish Raptors fate wasnt gona be so bad.

[kranz]

granted, it's not so bad-it's even worse.

I wish I had read that fockin' book(Huck Finn) for tomorrow.

[Koondawg]

Granted you read the farking book...but during the night you sleep walk with a paint brush and bucket and get nabbed for painting graffiti...you spend 180 days in jail and 400 hours of community service changing diapers in an old fogies home....

I wish the 8 week old kitten I saved from work didn't have sharp f'n claws....more pics later

KD

[Raptor1]

Granted, but you soon discover that it's a lolcat and must be banished to the "Curiosity killed the cat" thread

I wish it was perpetual Winter from now on

[Task Force]

Granted, but I forgot what the word Peroetual means, so this dream is now officialy crushed and will never be granted... and... stuff like that.

I wish I wasnt tierd, and the time wasnt 1:55 AM.:zzz:

[rifleman13]

Granted, you're very energetic and it's 10:00 am and your boss dumps a truckload of documents for you to sort out! :lol:

I wish for someone (NOT ME) to pick up the slack!

[NealT]

Granted, you are not tired, you are exhausted because it is now 7:45 AM and you still have not been to sleep...the coffee is wearing off, the tea does not help, and to top it all off, you have just been run over by a rabid, methane breathing, perpetual sea urchin.

I wish it wasn't so easy to crush dreams this early in the morning...

[Jimbuna]

Granted, it's now even easier......you just don't bother going to bed the night before.

I wish today was more productive than yesterday.

[NealT]

Granted, it is so productive today you just worked yourself out of a job because the buyer was making purchases for parts based upon your your normal pace and now the company is out of parts, loses a big order, has to lay off several people, still cannot make payroll, and decides that because you are the cause of everything you will be the first to go.

I wish Cici's delivered...

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, CiCi's delivers, but they deliver an STD instead of what you ordered

I wish Herpes tasted better

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but only slightly better than the taste of infected blood as your lips fall off and your teeth drop out.

I wish the cat got the cream.

[Task Force]

Granted, but then he gets the S**** from it and uses your floors and carpets as a bathroom. (unless "I wish the cat got the cream." means something else.)

I wish Jimbuna could get that cat out of his house.

[NealT]

Granted, he did...and it went straight to yours...S$!%@ and all...

I wish Mary's tasted better (than Crusty which my avatar says I am now)...

[Jimbuna]

Granted, just don't let her father find out.

I wish time was on my side.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but it backstabs and betrays you

I wish time wasn't so trecherous

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, time is not so treacherous, it is now lecherous and it has it's sights set on you:D

I wish I had a big bag of Oreo double-stuffs right now

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but the big bag in your life that really matters, becomes quite jealous and gives you some serious verbal abuse.

I wish the bitch that sits opposite me at work was a model for warts.

[rifleman13]

Granted, but the big bag in your life that really matters, becomes quite jealous and gives you some serious verbal abuse.

I wish the bitch that sits opposite me at work was a model for warts.
Granted, now the bitch uses your desk as a runway and you're in the front row.

I wish somebody would drive a shotgun through these jack---es' throats to make them shut up! :nope:

[TarJak]

Granted, but that someone turns out to want to include you in jack@sses list

I wish I could surf all day instead of working

[NealT]

Granted but then you get carpal tunnel, the Dr is drunk when he performs the operation, and you are left with no hands, wrists, arms, and brains.

I wish dinner had tasted better last night.

[Tango589]

Granted but then you get carpal tunnel, the Dr is drunk when he performs the operation, and you are left with no hands, wrists, arms, and brains.

I wish dinner had tasted better last night.

Granted, it tasted better last night than when it did coming back up this morning.

I wish I was inscrutable.

[Raptor1]

Granted, now the doctors can't find whatever ilness that is causing you to die miserably

I wish I didn't have to read this miserable book

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you don't have to read this miserable book, you've now gone blind and have to listen to Pee Wee Herman sing the book while doing what he got caught at in the theater

I wish I hadn't thought of that:88)

[Jimbuna]

Granted, you didn't...I did.

I wish I could forget what I remembered after I'd forgotten it.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but you still don't remember why you forgot it or why you wanted to remember it again

I wish remembering stuff wasn't so complicated

[Task Force]

Granted, now its so easy, it becomes over rated.

I wish that remembering wasnt over rated.

[Raptor1]

Cannot crush wish :damn:

[Task Force]

Did I just make a uncrushable wish.:huh: Or atleast for raptor.:lol:

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but only when rated against your own wsh.

I wish somebody would let sleeping dogs lie.

[NealT]

Granted, they lie about their age, about who tore up the furniture, who 'passed gas', and who ate the homework.

I wish I were better at PC games...

[NealT]

Did I just make a uncrushable wish.:huh: Or at least for raptor.:lol:

(No, he just couldn't remember what it was he was supposed to crush.)

[TarJak]

Granted, they lie about their age, about who tore up the furniture, who 'passed gas', and who ate the homework.

I wish I were better at PC games...Granted, you are better at them than most centipedes but not as goot at them as spiders.

I wish I knew what was afoot

[rifleman13]

Granted! The Hunt for TarJak is now afoot. Lock and load boys....:arrgh!:

I wish to know who will first get TarJak.... :lol:

[Koondawg]

Granted you get to know who will get TJ first, but Chuck Conners (the original rifleman) UNLOADS on you for taking his name and fills ya full of lead...

I wish whoever crushes my wish has an alligator farm back up into his toilet...


KD

[TarJak]

Granted, but the alligators were frightened off by the saltwater crocodile that lives there.
I wish the crocodile that lives in my toilet is too busy eating alligators to bite me on the bum

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but it isn't too busy to bite you in the balls instead.

I wish I could watch.

[rifleman13]

Granted, you are also in the same bathroom. As soon as the croc's done with TarJak, you're next! :lol:

I wish I'm watching all this action on a TV feed from inside a panic room. :arrgh!:

[Koondawg]

Granted your watching this on a CC tv inside a panic room, however, when the crocs are done wiith jimbo and TJ they find their way into the panic room via the crapper...they toss you around like a pair of Vegas dice before snapping you in half...

I wish I could be on the Hazmat crew cleaniing up the panic room with Steve Erwin...


KD

[Jimbuna]

granted, but you suddenly suffer a heart attack brought on by shock when you see one of TJ's eyes wink at you and what's left of a pair of lips say "hello sailor".

I wish problems were less problematic.

[NealT]

Granted, they are but the problem is that people just cannot see it because of the mountain of problems they heap upon themselves while trying to sort through the everyday problems of not being problematic enough if you understand my meaning and if not...then that's YOUR PROBLEM not mine because problems are just not problematic for me as I have no problem telling myself what I meant to say.

I wish that alligator had not enjoyed himself so much feasting on TJ's whatever it was that JB was so closely and intently scrutinizing...

[TarJak]

Granted he didn't

I wish I was no longer up to my nutz in alligators and crocodiles

[Koondawg]

Granted your now up to your nipples in crocs and alligators...:rotfl:

I wish that TJ's nipple rings choak the croc and alligators and he survives...:up:

KD

[rifleman13]

Granted, TJ survives and is now charged for killing various protected and endangered species of crocs and alligators.

I wish for someone to alter the timeline so this post will never be written in its current form...

[NealT]

Granted, it isn't. Once upon a time, there was a little crocodile who liked nipple rings. As it was running in the fores it met up with a big, bad wolf.

I wish I could take a day of vacation today.