Game: Crush Each Other's Dreams

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but your wish is crushed.

I wish that this psychic kids bull**** would go off the air...

[Raptor1]

Granted, but only after Stealth Hunter passes on to the spirit world

I wish I had a better Dream-crushing Bulldozer

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but you don't have dream-crushing gas for it.

I wish that I didn't have a hangover.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, you now have a hangunder.

I wish it was time to hit the town.

[nikimcbee]

Granted, you now have a hangunder.

I wish it was time to hit the town.
Granted, but you knock yourself out after hitting your head on the street.:dead:

I wish I could go camping.:hmm:

[Raptor1]

Granted, welcome to the Siberia, have fun "camping" in the Gulag...

I wish I could talk like a mobster, see

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but you contract the same horrible disease that Al Capone did and die a slow painful death.

I wish the above doesn't happen.

[Randomizer]

Granted, but since the aim here is to crush your dream, it happens anyway. Only now it happens to you.

I wish the Cat would stop killing birds.

[Raptor1]

Granted, it gathers other cats and starts killing people

http://i264.photobucket.com/albums/ii175/iTokyo/lol/lasers-charged-cats.jpg

I wish I had some Cat-B-Gone

[Tango589]

Granted, but you now have a limitless supply of Mouse-Attract and no cats to get rid of them!

I wish the mice attracted to Raptor1's house where ninja-stealth-mice armed with frickin' laser beams on their heads.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but in their attack they overran and destroyed my Cat-B-Gone, the cats have now returned in force, causing a huge battle between the cats and the mice in which both sides are annihilated by each other


I wish I had better counter-measures for this sort of stuff...

[Randomizer]

Granted, you now have the power to summon Decisive Dogs, Destroyers of Lazor armed Cats and Ninja Stealth Mice both. Unfortunately Decisive Dog droppings are toxic, radioactive and all over your lawn.

I wish I could go down to the pub today, drink some beer and shoot some pool.

[STEED]

No point me granting it as some other sod has beaten me to it.

[STEED]

Hang on I'm in with a chance here........

[STEED]

Granted, and you get so drunk your vomiting for days on end.

I want to be Max Power.

[Randomizer]

Granted, and you get so drunk your vomiting for days on end.
I'll bite. What's the down side?

I want to be Max Power.
Granted, but due to an administrive error you are registered Minimum Resistance. You are then forced into an pathetic existance, living on a circuit board in a Shianghai sweatshop where you are eventually recycled as a doorstop in a public restroom.

I wish I had vomted less after the pub.

[UnderseaLcpl]

Granted, but then you die of alchohol poisoning.

I wish alchohol had no health risks associated with it.

[Raptor1]

Granted, water is toxic now, have fun

I wish they had made HMS General Wolfe into a museum ship...

[Randomizer]

Granted, but she's secured indoors, only I have the keys and it will cost you more money than you can imagine to visit her.

I wish my chair was more comfortable.

[Raptor1]

Granted, the chair is much more comfortable, so much that it was stolen at night and is now sitting in the office of a Mafia boss

I wish I didn't just crash my Albatros and get maimed after killing 2 Nieuports

[Biggles]

Granted, you didn't killed the Nieuports.


I wish I had the guts to talk to that very nice girl that works at a sweets stand in town....:oops:

[Tango589]

(I dont know how to crush this without feeling bad..)

Granted, but she laughs in your face and throws sweets at you.

I wish I didn't feel so bad for typing that.

[Raptor1]

Granted, you felt really, really good, causing you to go insane

I wish those damned recon pilots would stop taking photos of the moon and get me some photos of the enemy!

http://img225.imageshack.us/img225/9086/reconpahms9.jpg

[STEED]

Granted but there snapshots of naked women which blow your mind causing your head to explode.

I want this damn game to end.

[Randomizer]

Granted, you are now self-employed and can take as much time off as you like. All is well on the leisure front except for the voice in your head. It still wants you to kill the boss. So you do.

I wish I was a battlefield archeologist.

[rifleman13]

Granted, but as you explore the remains of a battleship, the souls of the sailors aboard follow you home and now haunt your house.

I wish there is somebody "who can I call"!

[Raptor1]

Granted, you can call this person, once a month, during your prison's phone-time

I wish I could raise an army and overthrow the fascist regime!

[rifleman13]

Granted, but too bad there aren't any "official" fascist regimes out there!

I wish Raptor1 could a grip on reality!

[nikimcbee]

Granted, but too bad there aren't any "official" fascist regimes out there!

I wish Raptor1 could a grip on reality!

Granted, but you meant to type "gripe" not grip.:roll:

I wish I had a MiG-17 to fly for fun.

[Randomizer]

Granted, but the authorities refuse to grant it a Certificate of Airworthyness so it will never fly again.

I wish I could forget...

[Raptor1]

Granted, you forgot your gun and the hitman got you

I wish that the Empire of Raptorland's upcoming war against the rest of the world will succeed in uniting everyone under my rule

[Tango589]

Granted, but your rule sucks so everyone starts ignoring you.

I wish I was a better aerial marksman, instead of spraying rounds everywhere except into the 109's.

[Randomizer]

Granted, you are now the best aerial marksman ever. Too bad your crew chief didn't load your guns and you are shot down in flames by a Fiesler Storch.

I wish beer was free for all.

[Raptor1]

Granted, it's free, therefore no one make it because they won't get any money, beer is slowly forgotten by the world

I wish SPADs were made out of spuds, maybe I won't have to pump so much lead into them until they die...

[UnderseaLcpl]

Granted, it's free, therefore no one make it because they won't get any money, beer is slowly forgotten by the world

I wish SPADs were made out of spuds, maybe I won't have to pump so much lead into them until they die...

Granted, but your senseless destruction of potatoes infuriates the Irish and the IRA carbombs you.

I wish I was Kptlt. Balz

[Jimbuna]

Granred....but just wait till you get home and see the size of Mrs Balz http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v499/c_jane24/Smileys/4_6_100.gif

I wish my carrier pigeon could carry more.

[Randomizer]

Granted, it can now carry more stuffing and comes in a box surrounded by potatoes and cole slaw.

I wish I had a new compound hunting bow.

[jeremy8529]

Granted, but guns are better.

I wish I had a team of top notch attorneys that could draft a wish for this game that could not backfire on me or anyone else that i cared about ,and could only ultimately end in a good outcome.

[Randomizer]

Granted, but your lawyers, acting like lawyers everywhere, charge fees that render you, your family and your heirs poverty striken for all time. Your uncrushable dream proves incapable of withstanding the Power of the Dream Crushing Thread. You starve to death in a ditch amid a land of plenty while those who once loved you curse your very name.

I wish the Cat would quit bugging me to go outside.

[rifleman13]

Granted, but then your Cat has means of persuading you, by means of a Tommy gun!

I wish someone could destroy Microsoft, in spirit and in finances, so we can compute in peace!

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but out from the ashes rises Microsoft MkII and it all begins again.

I wish energy was free.

[Biggles]

Granted, but the worlds economy collapses when this is discovered.

I wish the very nice girl that works at a sweets stand in town that I did talk to yesterday didn't have a boyfriend:rotfl:

[Tango589]

Granted, but the worlds economy collapses when this is discovered.

I wish the very nice girl that works at a sweets stand in town that I did talk to yesterday didn't have a boyfriend:rotfl:

Granted, but she has a girlfriend instead...

I wish I was a qualified pilot.

[STEED]

Granted you can now play with your train set, sorry mix up on the license. :oops:

I want out this thread............:doh:

[Randomizer]

Granted, but from now on your web browser defaults to it as your home page every time you're on-line.

I wish I had more naval history books.

[Platapus]

Granted, but from now on your web browser defaults to it as your home page every time you're on-line.

I wish I had more naval history books.


Granted, but they would be all about the history of the Afghanistan Navy and great naval battles of Lesotho.

I wish I could visit more historical submarines.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but the aqualung you need is so huge you can never return to the surface.

I wish time travelled sideways.

[Raptor1]

Granted, now space travels up and down

I wish I knew what jimbuna was talking about

[UnderseaLcpl]

Granted but the comprehension of his mind comes with a startling descent into madness.

I wish Raptor1 knew what Jimbuna was talking about.

[TarJak]

Granted, but now he speaks in Geordie gibberish as well.

I wish I knew the secret of fire.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but you become so obsessed with it that you burn your house, city and country before being killed by a group of sentient law-enforcing gorillas

I wish I had one of these: http://www.dreadnoughtproject.org/plans/SM_Projekt_50_1918//tauchschiff_projekt_50_100dpi.jpg

[Jimbuna]

Granted you now have a drawing of a ship until the kids crayon all over it.

I wish garlic wasn't so repulsive.

[nikimcbee]

Granted you now have a drawing of a ship until the kids crayon all over it.

I wish garlic wasn't so repulsive.
granted, but everybody knows you're a vampire now.

I wish I had a paintball panzer.:hmm:

[Raptor1]

Granted, but it fell prey to my Paintball Sturmovik

I wish for more wishes

[nikimcbee]

Granted, but it fell prey to my Paintball Sturmovik

I wish for more wishes

Granted, but instead you get fishes.

I wish I didn't ride my bike to work. Now I have to ride home.:roll:

[Jimbuna]

Granted, the wheel falls off and now you have to walk home.

I wish I could sting like a bee.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but It's a barbed sting, so you can only do it once

I wish I could smite the infidels

[nikimcbee]

Granted, but It's a barbed sting, so you can only do it once

I wish I could smite the infidels

Granted, but you only have one stinger too.

I wish jimbuna would bring steed with him to the subsim thingy in Oct.

[Biggles]

Granted, but there'll be no beer over for you, or anyone else for that matter...

I wish....you good health!

[nikimcbee]

Granted, but there'll be no beer over for you, or anyone else for that matter...

I wish....you good health!

Granted, but it only lasts for a day.:roll:

I wish I could see jimbuna's face when Neal inforces the "no beer" policy for hooligan posters in the subsim meeting thread.:rotfl:

[Raptor1]

Granted, but since that announcement came only a day after the announcement that hooligan posters will be burned to the stake, you can't really see too much of his face

I wish for piece, a piece of everything!

[nikimcbee]

Granted, but since that announcement came only a day after the announcement that hooligan posters will be burned to the stake, you can't really see too much of his face

I wish for piece, a piece of everything!

Granted, but you cant afford the shipping bill.

I wish I could go to bed now? Stupid work...

[Biggles]

Granted, you get fired from work, so now you have all the time in the world to sleep! Congratulations!:D


I wish that the next poster will step in something very nasty.

[nikimcbee]

Granted, you get fired from work, so now you have all the time in the world to sleep! Congratulations!:D


I wish that the next poster will step in something very nasty.

Granted, but he comes over to your house to play SHIII all day, so now you get to smell what he stepped in.

I wish I had money for breakfast.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but you don't have enough and have to make do with a slice of toast.

I wish my dinner was ready.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but If you would've asked me before you went and sold your house I would've said it's not worth it

EDIT: Damn you, jimbuna

Granted, your oven exploded, and your dinner is now ready (Although slightly overcooked)

I wish That Guy will leave, now

[Biggles]

Granted, I'm going, but you'll be overcome with grief when you realise that yoo, and you alone, are responsible for the eternal absent of Biggles on these forums!

I wish that wasn't just rubbish talk^^

[rifleman13]

Granted, it just became trash talk!

I wish I made that wish more meaningful!

[Raptor1]

Granted, but now it was more meaningfully crushed

I wish life was cheap

[Randomizer]

Granted, life is now so cheap that your own is entirely worthless. So much so that no hitman will take the job of killing you and a cartoon character must drop a piano on your head instead.

I wish I could control the passage of time.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, it now travels down the hallway.

I wish square pegs would fit into round holes.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but by rewriting the way the universe works, you in so doing open a paradox that engulfs everything here and turns it into nothing.

I wish that I could have a magical finger.

[rifleman13]

Granted, but it involves you extending the middle finger of your hand while bending the other fingers into the palm. Many people would not like that!

I wish there were no shown obscene gestures in this thread.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but there are still obscene posts.

I wish that I could fly on a carpet.

[Randomizer]

Granted, but you enter an unpublished no-fly zone and are shot down in flames and what's left is sucked into the engines of a passing Boeing 777.

I wish I could get the bird nest out of my roof without killing the birds or destroying the universe as we know it.

[Raptor1]

Granted, you call somebody else to kill the birds and destroy the universe as we know it

I wish I knew the universe

[TarJak]

Granted, but the universe you know is a very very small one that fits inside a matchbox and doesn't contain anything interesting.

I wish flagnastication was legal.

[Mush Martin]

Granted it is but only in Port Lockroy.

I wish Tarjak were banished to port lockroy

[UnderseaLcpl]

Granted, but the universe you know is a very very small one that fits inside a matchbox and doesn't contain anything interesting.

I wish flagnastication was legal.

Granted, but since "flagnastication" is not a word, you wasted your wish.

I wsh that I had a wish that this thread couldn't crush.

[rifleman13]

Excellent! Two wishes to crush!

I wish Tarjak were banished to port lockroy Granted, he becomes a the ruler of Antarctica and he sends his armies to crush you.

I wsh that I had a wish that this thread couldn't crush. Granted, and you are hounded to the ends of the Earth by Subsim members because of your possession of the uncrushable wish.

I wish this was in my possession and still legal tender.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/53/US100000dollarsbillobverse.jpg

[Raptor1]

Granted, but the dollar is now worth 1/100,000 of what it used to be 2 minutes ago

I wish my Projekt 50 Tauchschiff was real and not just a blueprint

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but only in your own mind.

I wish I could find out what 'flagnastication' meant.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but you are disappointed to find out that it doesn't actually mean anything

I wish I could sell somebody else's happiness

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but you are a bastard henceforth and you're shot in the middle of a gang war.

I wish that I could fly a Fokker E.III for the German Imperial Air Service in 1916.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but your shot down by a British Sopwith on your first flight.

I wish the warmth of my heart was immeasureable by everybody.

[Raptor1]

Granted, it's so warm that it melts your internal organs and you die

I wish I had an Atlantic Wall

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but it's made from sand and it crumbles when the tide comes in.

I wish that I hadn't been shot down by a Sopwith Pup.

[Raptor1]

Granted, you've been shot down by another Fokker E.III, and it wasn't an accident...

I wish my Victoria game with Prussia wasn't so messed up

[Randomizer]

Granted, the game is no longer messed up. However, in saving it you accidently re-format your hard drive, destroying all of your data for all time. You then forget your SUBSIM password and are unable to rejoin the Forum and can no longer crush others dreams.

I wish I didn't need reading glasses.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but you contract a rare form of cancer which causes your eyes to eventually rot from you head, leaving you blind.

I wish that Bush would die...:stare:

[Raptor1]

Granted, that Bush on the other side of the street died, but it will grow again in a few months

I wish the Internet was made of Pizza

[Biggles]

[edit]

Granted, but now everything everyone writes looks cheesy, so you lose interest.

I wish I didn't have this pain on all the diodes down my left side...

[Tango589]

[edit]

Granted, but now everything everyone writes looks cheesy, so you lose interest.

I wish I didn't have this pain on all the diodes down my left side...

Granted, but now your valves are forever giving you jip.

I wish I was bullet-proof.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but nobody ever fires at you and you happily live your normal boring life until you die of natural causes

I wish that wasn't so cruelly uncruel

[Mush Martin]

Granted but due to a typo in the legislation your banished
to the land of cancelled gameshows.:cool:

I wish I had some general tso's chicken

[Randomizer]

Granted, too bad you contract the bird flu from it, dooming the entire human race as a consequence. Starting with yourself of course.

I wish my printer cartidges would never run out of ink.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but they leak ink, can you imagine the carnage?

I wish I could imagine the carnage

[jeremy8529]

Granted, but all you can see is a gaint black blob of ink that coats your eyes.

I wish I had a dollar for each post made in this thread.

[Randomizer]

Granted, but taxes and administrative fees cost you $4.58 USD per posting. You now owe the Forum over $6000.00.

I wish the AL wins Baseball's All Star Game.

[TarJak]

Granted, they win, however an error you made when filling out your betting slip means you've lost the $10,000 you bet on them winning.

I wish I had an amphibious submarine.

http://cache.gawker.com/assets/stills/sQuba_Jalop.flv.jpg

[Mush Martin]

Granted but its docked in the middle of the sahara with no
fuel tires transmission insurance or license.

I wish we could have a Jail and bail for moderators
to raise money for subsim.

[TarJak]

Granted, but no-one at SS would stump up the bail for all the moderators in jail.

I wish I could go cow tipping tonight.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but they are all Radioactive Exploding Zombie Cows!

I wish you was him

[rifleman13]

Dammit! Raptor1 beat me to it!

Oh well...

Granted, but you become paradoxically challenged!

I wish someone could silence my neighbor's dog. It's driving me crazy!:doh:

[TarJak]

Granted, you neighbour silences his dog by locking it in your bedroom so he can't hear it.

I wish I could visit Easter Island and the Galapagos Islands this year.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but you can't get off them afterwards.

I wish chocolate didn't melt.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but it tastes bitter again, just like it did during the early 1900s.

I wish that I could kill a person by just looking at something belonging to them before saying "Kill" 3 times to actually finish them.

[Randomizer]

Granted, and as a test object, you use your own watch.

I wish I had a howitzer.

[rifleman13]

Granted, you are the only member of the artillery crew! Have fun!

I wish nobody would wish for something that is crushable!

[Jimbuna]

Granted, the next wish is now squashed instead.

I wish tomorrows national strike was called off.

[Onkel Neal]

Granted, but ... wait, what's a national strike?

I wish everything password protected could be replaced by remote fingerprint scan.

-

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but an unfortunate accident causes you to lose both your hands and you are thus locked out forever.

I wish that I had more pomade.

[Raptor1]

Granted, you now have ∞-1 tons of the stuff, have fun...if you survive!

I wish I had ownership of "the bucket" so I could charge everyone who kicks it money

[Tango589]

Granted, but to own the bucket you have to kick it first.

I wish I knew where the phrase 'kick the bucket' come from.

[Randomizer]

D'oh, Tango beat me to it, but anyway

Granted, but the knowledge drives you mad and you develop bucketphobia along with a fetish for mops. The resulting conflict causes you to be institutionalized in the local zoo.

I wish the damn windows would wash themselves...

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but ... wait, what's a national strike?

I wish everything password protected could be replaced by remote fingerprint scan.

-

http://www.unison.org.uk/

[Jimbuna]

I wish the damn windows would wash themselves...

Granted, so now you've got more time to wash your wifes car.

I wish theoretical issues were based on factual outcomes.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but now factual issues are based on theoretical outcomes

I wish the bucket's place of origin was as unmysterious as the teapot's

[UnderseaLcpl]

Granted, but now factual issues are based on theoretical outcomes

I wish the bucket's place of origin was as unmysterious as the teapot's

Granted, it was originally made in China, just like today.

I wish I had a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at a table of brotherhood.

[TarJak]

Granted, but as always happens at these gatherings, it's all good fun until somone gets drunk and loses an eye or something.

I wish World Youth Day (still puzzled as to how a week can be called a day), would finish yesterday instead of Friday.

[Randomizer]

Granted, World Youth Day finished last night at midnight. It has been replaced by World Dysfunctional Punk Kid Day lasting through until Friday. During the local celebrations, your car gets keyed and you get a burning bag of doggie-do thrown on your porch. But, strangely for a crushed dream, the Universe manages to survive this one intact.

I wish all of these phoney World Whatever Day's were cancelled for good.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but instead phoney Universe Whatever Days are called, and with twice the frequency

I wish I could kill Murphy

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but then you'll be tried via 'Murphy's Law'

I wish mankind would stop making wars around the globe.

[Raptor1]

Granted, now wars only happen in your house

I wish I had a Radioactive Exploding Zombie Cow

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but you contract radiation sickness from it.

I wish I could leave this picket line.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but you soon return because it's like meth: you can quit it... but it will come back again and call for you...

I wish that I had more eggs and bacon... and that I didn't have to cook them myself.

[Randomizer]

Granted, they do not get cooked at all. You contract salmonella from the raw eggs with internal parasites from the bacon and are forced to live on a diet of clear vegetable broth for the remainder of your life.

I wish I had a new truck.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but it's a toy one and you forget to purchase the batteries for it.

I wish time was always on my side.

[rifleman13]

Granted, but now your deteriorating health is now your enemy!

I wish Chairman Mao and his party didn't win the Chinese Civil War in 1949!

[Raptor1]

Granted, they won in 1948

I wish Blitzkrieg worked in the jungle

[Randomizer]

Granted, Mr. Hugo J. Blitzkrieg now runs a rubber plantation just outside Kuala Lampor.

I wish I could go fishing today.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, you can go fishing todat....around the waste disposal sites.

I wish Archer fish needed arrows.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but they learn to use the arrows and launch an attack on your home.

I wish that the Way of the Master would go offline.

[Tango589]

Granted, but they learn to use the arrows and launch an attack on your home.

I wish that the Way of the Master would go offline.

Granted but all the people who were interested in it visit subsim, see that it was you who wished Way of the Master offline and then hunt you down, set fire to your house and throw rocks at you.

I wish I knew what Way of the Master was.

edit : Just looked up Way of the Master.

I wish I hadn't looked up Way of the Master.

[rifleman13]

Granted, but instead you JOINED the Way of the Master!

I wish I have unlimited amount of RAM in my PC.

[Randomizer]

Granted, but due to a minor typographical error you end up with an unlimited amount of RUM in your PC which wrecks the rest of your computer and causes you to drink yourself to death.

I wish I could teleport anywhere, any time.

[TarJak]

Granted, however you have teleported into a BDSM dungeon at the exact moment the dominatrix shoved a red hot poker into your mouth as a punishment for making frivolous wishes.

I wish I knew what was around the corner.

[Raptor1]

Granted, it's the guy thats after you with a CornerShot

I wish I didn't suck so much at landing aircraft

[UnderseaLcpl]

Granted, it's the guy thats after you with a CornerShot

I wish I didn't suck so much at landing aircraft

Granted, you can no longer fly aircraft at all.

I wsh I were a moderator so I could close this thread and get the last word. And not have my dream crushed!

[Raptor1]

Granted, but by doing so you have made it so wishes stop being crushed, and have thus destroyed SubSim, the Internet and the Universe

I wish I knew what I was doing

[rifleman13]

Granted, you were just finished playing Russian Roulette and you lost!

I wish it is illegal to crush others dreams...

[Jimbuna]

Granted, so now you serve a lengthy sentence behind bars.

I wish strawberries tasted like rasspberries.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but caused raspberries to taste like the next item in the World_GeneralItems.cfg file (And everything else before it, inc. Strawberries), Dart Boards!

I wish I knew what Dart Boards taste like

[Randomizer]

D'oh, too late
Granted, but now raspberries taste like onions.

Granted, but during the taste test and far too late, you discover that you neglected to remove the darts before chowing down.

I wish some people weren't so anxious to shut this thread down.

[Tango589]

D'oh, too late
Granted, but now raspberries taste like onions.

Granted, but during the taste test and far too late, you discover that you neglected to remove the darts before chowing down.

I wish some people weren't so anxious to shut this thread down.

Granted, but now they're anxious to shut this forum down.

I wish I could travel the world.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but you're eventually captured by these three human traffickers in India, and they sell you into slavery.

I wish that my blood pressure wasn't so high.

[Raptor1]

Granted, It's now really, really low

I wish for...never mind...

[Tango589]

Granted, It's now really, really low

I wish for...never mind...

Granted. No-one minds or cares about what ever you wish for, therefore it goes completely unfulfilled and the absence of anything happening to you leaves you feeling strangely empty inside.

I wish I had an absolutely corking pair of trousers.

[Randomizer]

New page - New dream crushed...

Granted, your trousers are now made of cork. Too bad you are now hunted by violent and evil wine-makers who want to turn your pants into stoppers' for their product. You never get a moment's peace again.

I wish there was such thing as a free lunch.

[Raptor1]

Granted, It's a free lunch, it's made of 75% sawdust and 25% Randomizer

I wish that free lunch was made of less sawdust and more Randomizer

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but the health effects are just as nasty, and you end up contracting some kind of disease the likes of which baffles doctors and scientists the world over.

I wish that my damned fish would quit acting like such an idiot.:stare:

[rifleman13]

Granted, but those become evil geniuses and shall take over the world.

I wish someone could save us from Stealth Hunter's megalomaniac fish.:roll:

[Randomizer]

Granted, Stealth Hunter's idiot fish is devoured by the closet cannibal Raptor1 but before that could happen, it spawned and now the seas and oceans both are filled with offspring of his megalomaniac fish.

I wish a self-cleaning oven would actually clean itself.

[TarJak]

Granted but now everything you bake taste like oven cleaner and starts to dissolve your digestive tract.

I wish I could understand why so many people are unkind and prevent them from being that way.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but you eventually find yourself unable to understand the full concept; thus, it was pointless to even raise such a question and ask for an explanation.

I wish that I had MORE COWBELL!:rock:

[Jimbuna]

Granted, you now have more COWBELL than you know what to do with, and it becomes so scarce a commodity, nobody uses it anymore.

I wish tomorrow could be yesterday.

[Raptor1]

Granted, tomorrow is the day you get mugged and eventually killed though

I wish the universe was made out of video tapes and coca cola

[mcf1]

Granted, but the coca cola has expired and the video tapes are being replaced by Blu ray disks.

I wish i was an astronaut.

[Tango589]

Damn, mcf1 beat me to it.

Granted, but the coca-cola corrodes the video tape, once again destroying the universe for the umpteenth time. Great work there Raptor1.:nope:

I do wish Raptor1 hadn't been such a Bernard by causing the universe to be destroyed again.:roll:

[Tango589]

Granted, but the coca cola has expired and the video tapes are being replaced by Blu ray disks.

I wish i was an astronaut.

Lets have another go.

Granted, but HAL won't open the pod bay doors.

I wish I was an International Man of Mystery.

[Tango589]

This means I now have 2 concurrent wishes waiting to be crushed! I wonder which will be first?:hmm:

[Raptor1]

Granted, you become an International Man of Mystery due to your recent disappearance after proclaiming yourself as Emperor Bernard III and announcing your plans for the destruction of the universe before Raptor1

I wish I knew if Schultz is a relative of Bernard

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but you soon realise that you are also related to him.

I wish tartan paint was obtainable in the shops.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but all other paints are not obtainable from shops.

I wish that M*A*S*H was still on the air.

[Jimbuna]

granted, but on ragio only.

I wish the global warming was just an illusion.

[silentrunner]

Wish granted, but then global cooling began freezing us all in seaconds.

I wish Big Macs were the healthiest food in the world.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but all other forms of food are not at all healthy, meaning your diet is restricted now to nothing BUT Big Macs.

I wish that I had a refill on my SuperCrunch Salt & Vinegar chips.

[Randomizer]

Granted, too bad they have been soaking in turnip juice.

I wish I was going to the pub for supper tonight.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but it turns out the pub only serves alcohol, and you're forced to eat peanuts in substitute for a true meal.

I wish that I could have a refill on my tea.

[rifleman13]

Granted, but the tea, everytime you get a refill becomes heated water, forever, and ever and ever and ever......

I wish all hackers, virus and worm programmers and the like would instantly die!

[Mush Martin]

Granted but the only computer supply store on your planet closes
as a result.


I Too wish I had a refill for my tea.

[TarJak]

Granted, but is that chamomile muck instead of the delicious earl grey variety you are used to.

I wish my wife would remember to take the DVD's back to the shop so I don't get surprised by late fees next time I hire a DVD.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but your wife forgets pretty much everything else that matters in a marriage.

I wish that I had better hearing.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but now you know what everyone is saying about you.

I wish the world was not enough.

[TarJak]

Granted, It isn't and the universe again collapses in a heap of molten slag the sige of Kansas.

I wish Kansas was bigger Toto.

[rifleman13]

Granted, It isn't and the universe again collapses in a heap of molten slag the sige of Kansas.

I wish Kansas was bigger Toto.
Granted, the State of Kansas defeated the other 49 states and became a hyperpower with Toto as it's "Dear Leader"!

I wish I could get this damned VCR to work!

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but it still won't record.

I wish Mars was habitable.

[TarJak]

Granted, you can inhabit Mars for about as long as you can hold your breath.

I wish the beer I just had wasn't my last for the night.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, it's your last for the week.

I wish some bugga would find that Q Ship for me.

[rifleman13]

Granted, but unfortunately I found it and told where your u-boat is lurking.

I wish I hadn't condemned jimbuna to a watery grave.

[TarJak]

Granted, When Jim met the Q Ship he convinced it to go and sink you.

I wish that Q ship would show up soon so I can tell Jim where it is.

[UnderseaLcpl]

Granted, When Jim met the Q Ship he convinced it to go and sink you.

I wish that Q ship would show up soon so I can tell Jim where it is.

Granted, but I sink it enroute.

I wish my jokes were funny.

[Raptor1]

Granted, they are so hilarious that everyone dies a miserable death from laughter when they hear them

I wish my dad didn't just demolish my Steam Frigate in Sovereign Seas Lite

[Tango589]

Granted, but he destroys everything else you cherish instead.

(Why do I always end up crushing your dreams Raptor?:hmm: It's not intentional, honest!:damn: )

I wish I was better at laying garden paving.

[UnderseaLcpl]

Granted, but he destroys everything else you cherish instead.

(Why do I always end up crushing your dreams Raptor?:hmm: It's not intentional, honest!:damn: )

I wish I was better at laying garden paving.

Granted, you now s*** 2' x 2' blocks of either concrete, brick, or rock.

I wish the government didn't steal a third of my money every paycheck.

edit-damnit I hope Jimbuna doesn't reply to this. I just set my self up.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but he destroys everything else you cherish instead.

(Why do I always end up crushing your dreams Raptor?:hmm: It's not intentional, honest!:damn: )

I wish I was better at laying garden paving.

Granted, you now s*** 2' x 2' blocks of either concrete, brick, or rock.

I wish the government didn't steal a third of my money every paycheck.

edit-damnit I hope Jimbuna doesn't reply to this. I just set my self up.

http://img143.imageshack.us/img143/6356/av129190fjwl3.gif Granted, they no longer steal it, but borrow it on a permanent basis.

I wish I knew how you thought you'd set yourself up. http://img98.imageshack.us/img98/1817/thinkbigsw1yo4.gif

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but in so doing, you become him mentally, and the old Jimbuna is gone forever.

I wish that parrots could be carnivorous.

[Raptor1]

Granted, and you are their first meal

I wish the Subsim legend isn't just a myth *Glances at the Donation button*

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but it turns out that it really isn't much more than a myth. Oh sure, it's real, but not interesting.:rotfl:

I wish that Hitler was still alive.:hmm:

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but he still only has one testicle and is therefore unable to sire any offspring (thank God).

I wish Hitler had never been born.

[Raptor1]

Granted, it invalidates Stealth Hunter's crushed dream and therefore destroys the universe

I wish you people would stop drinking so much, sheesh... :roll:

[Jimbuna]

Granted, now we'll drink too much.

I wish you'd mind your own business.

http://i224.photobucket.com/albums/dd320/pasquarade/drunkcob.gif

[Randomizer]

Granted, but his new business is examining Forum members drinking habits and personal lives. His next project is a fibre-optic video link from your beer fridge to his computer.

I wish I had a beer fridge.

[rifleman13]

Granted, you have a beer fridge, but the problem is the beer you bought isn't pasteurized! So you dump all of the bad beer and don't have enough money to buy one can of beer!

I wish all food and drink are non-perishable...

[Raptor1]

Granted, but all their pershiableness is transferred to you

I wish for spaenvzpievousnrounsbb0sgfhfsfbxd~~

[TarJak]

Granted, but as I couldn't be bothered to find out what it was it's largely irrelevant.

I wish by barbecue was self cleaning.

[mcf1]

Granted, but if it was self cleaning, it would be also self barbecuing and that's where all the fun is.

I wish I could go back to work, I'm tired of sitting here and doing nothing

[UnderseaLcpl]

Granted you can go back to work as a customer,

I wish my car was a transformer.

[Randomizer]

Granted, your car now transforms 120 volts into 6.8 volts. It is also full of toxic PCB's and sits at the top of a hydro pole. It can no longer be driven at all and this voltage is entirely useless to you. But, you still get to pay the licence and insurance fees.

I wish my truck was rust-free.

[Raptor1]

Granted, all the rust your truck can have...FOR FREE!

I wish the Universe was destruction-proof

[rifleman13]

Granted, as the universe keeps expanding and expanding humans will colonize the whole universe. As time progresses, wars of cosmic scale will engulf the universe Unfortunately, Mankind will wipe out itself in the end and the universe will continue to expand. Raptor1 will be the only one left, still playing SH3, alone.......

I wish ballpoint ink is erasable, not counting using correction fluid.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but in so doing, it will eventually fade away entirely.

I wish that I could have a cage fight with Heinrich Himmler...:hmm:

[Raptor1]

Granted, but it goes on for so long that they they have to introduce Bigfoot into the cage in order to finish the fight, you both die and Bigfoot takes the money

I wish you would go away...no, not you, the other one

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but that means that anyone who reads your post will go away, making it the deadliest e-post in the universe.

I wish that I could cage fight with Heinrich Himmler, Adolf Hitler, AND Erwin Rommel!:rotfl:

[Raptor1]

Granted, they mercilessly beat you into the floor, the judge can't see whether you are down or not so the fighting (Or should I say, one-sided beating) continues until the 10 minute marker is reached and Bigfoot is once again released into the cage, killing everyone...again

I wish Bigfoot wasn't so good at cage fights

[Tango589]

I wish Bigfoot wasn't so good at cage fights

Granted, but both you and Bigfoot are comprehensively thrashed to a pulp by Hitler, Rommel and Himmler who then escape the ring, reform the Third Reich and start WW3 which results in the untimely destruction of the universe. Happy now?:roll:

I wish for world peace.

[Randomizer]

Granted, the last round is fired, the last bomb is dropped, the last machete is sheathed. Seconds later the Sun supernovas and the Earth ceases to exist. But the Universe lives on.

I wish Hitler, Himmler and the rest could fight a cage match in a septic tank. With or without Bigfoot.

[Tango589]

Granted, but the septic tank is in your back yard, Bigfoot comes to see the fight and destroys your garden and house.

I wish there was good weather tomorrow.

[Raptor1]

Granted, there weather drops to 15C (That's excellent weather...by my standards)

I wish I had this ultra-rare Stalin card

http://img102.imageshack.us/img102/1341/stalincardwd8.jpg

[Randomizer]

Granted, but possessing it gets you 20-years in the Gulag.

I wish I know just how mad a box of ferrets is.

[JHuschke]

Granted, now that you have this ultra-rare Stalin card..you want the dictator card pack!

http://i282.photobucket.com/albums/kk252/Drew_D93/WWIIGAMECARDS.jpg


I wish I could meet Mena Suvari!!!

[Tango589]

Granted, but you find out her real name is Frank and she has a better mustache than Stalin.

I wish I was no longer madder than a box of ferrets.

[Raptor1]

Granted, you are now madder than a keg of ferrets

I wish I could interrogate and torture the future for its secrets

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but you eventually get caught and sentenced to a life of servitude at....it's a secret.

I wish my aunty was my uncle.

[Randomizer]

Granted, but now you find the idea of a sex change so irresistable you have to try it for yourself. Unfortunately for you, funds run out half-way through the procedure and you live out your days miserable as neither one thing or the other.

I still wish I knew how mad a box, or even a keg of ferrets really is.

[TarJak]

Granted, having been nailed into each containers with said rodents for a week you now know, however, given, the biting and scratching, the smell and the thought of the wasted weeks, you now wish you didn't know again.

I wish I had a sceptic tank to drop all the charlatans into.

[nikimcbee]

Granted, having been nailed into each containers with said rodents for a week you now know, however, given, the biting and scratching, the smell and the thought of the wasted weeks, you now wish you didn't know again.

I wish I had a sceptic tank to drop all the charlatans into.
Granted, but it backs up and now they're in your bathtub.

I wish I could go on a date with Gillian Anderson.:hmm:

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but she's got a kid.

I wish that I could create a new planet by just dreaming it up in my head.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but it is created right on top of your head (Didn't we already go over this?)

I wish Atlas would stop playing basketball with the world

[rifleman13]

Granted, he flattens the world and cooks it and eat the world as a pancake!

I wish the hills are alive with the sound of music!

[Randomizer]

Granted, but the sound of music is the drumbeat of heavy artillery firing mustard gas.

I wish KK Georg von Trapp had of stayed with submarines instead of creating musicals.

[nikimcbee]

Granted, but the sound of music is the drumbeat of heavy artillery firing mustard gas.

I wish KK Georg von Trapp had of stayed with submarines instead of creating musicals.

Granted, but where would Rammstein get their inspiration?

I wish I had a time machine, so I could go out with Gillian Anderson 10 years ago.

(See pilot x-file episode for scene)
Gillian- "What are these marks on my back?" Towel drops...

Ol' Naughty McBee- :o :oops: :cool: :p :up: :D :) :) :) "Let me take a look, oh wait on your back?";) :smug:

[Raptor1]

Granted, but due to an error in calculation you and Gillian Anderson are transported back to Flanders, 1917

I wish for ERROR_STRINGNOTFOUND

[rifleman13]

Granted, but unfortunately your computer not only crashed but it also explodes!

I wish everything in the universe is balanced....

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but the scales needed are so large that they knock the earth off its axis and out of orbit with the rest of the solar system.

I wish tightropes were a little slacker.

[Randomizer]

Granted, but nobody is interested in watching a slackwire act so the Circus industry collapses. Bands of unemployed circus performers roam throughout the land unchecked. Your own neighbourhood fills up with rabid organ-grinding monkees, bearded ladies and other assorted freaks.

I wish people would quit worshipping worthless celebrities.

[UnderseaLcpl]

Granted, but nobody is interested in watching a slackwire act so the Circus industry collapses. Bands of unemployed circus performers roam throughout the land unchecked. Your own neighbourhood fills up with rabid organ-grinding monkees, bearded ladies and other assorted freaks.

I wish people would quit worshipping worthless celebrities.

Granted, they now worship wothless independent film actors

I wish Tibet was free.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but it is only free of self rule.

I wish Russia was a member of the EEC.

[Tango589]

Granted, but it is only free of self rule.

I wish Russia was a member of the EEC.

Granted, but due to a typing error Russia is now a member of the RAC, so all roadside technicians are transported off to Moscow leaving no-one to fix the clapped-out motors here.

I wish I could see Cream and Jimi Hendrix play live.

[Randomizer]

Granted, but then you would have to be old, perhaps bald and maybe a bit thicker around the middle.

I wish I could see The Doors, Ten Years After and Foghat live again.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but whilst driving to see them, you're hit head-on by another car at 60 mph... and killed.

I wish that I could wish unfortunate things to happen to anyone I didn't like.

[Tango589]

Granted, but karma has got REALLY bad things lined up for you...

I wish I had my own place to live.

[Raptor1]

Granted, you are given your very own spot in Gulag #136221643

I wish I knew what WHAYTMGDZSOVMGEBAVESNMIBSMDOCVXZGSDG stands for...

[Tango589]

Granted, but as it is a secret code used by Freemasons you are 'hushed up' permanently.*


*not that I know anything about freemasonsary or their secretive goings on.


I wish I knew what Freemasons got up to. Especially with that shirt-open-and-one-trouser-leg-rolled-up business.

[Randomizer]

Granted, but due to an unfortunate misunderstanding you are brought into the world of Free Mimes, a world that you can never speak of to others. While heading home in your make-up, black suit and hat, you are accidently crushed when a less-than-free mason drops a load of rock on your head as you walk past a construction site. Nobody hears your screams.

I wish all terrorists were extinct.

[Raptor1]

Granted, that includes people who terrorize this thread, so you are extinct too

I wish T-H-E-M weren't coming

[TarJak]

Granted, they aren't, but someone else much worse is.

I wish for less flatulence in the world.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, curries are banned worldwide.

I wish my carry out would arrive soon.

[UnderseaLcpl]

Granted, but then it is taken back since it is not delivery, and you must go pick it up.

I wish Jimbuna would stop crushing my dreams and give someone else a chance.

[Randomizer]

Granted, somebody else gets to crush your dream. Unfortunately for you that someone is me, causing the universe to explode for no adequately explained reason.

I wish the roast on the barbeque was done.

[Platapus]

I wish the roast on the barbeque was done.

Granted, but your cholesterol will get sky high and you will die.

I wish I had a backscratcher long enough to reach that itchy spot in the middle of my back.

[rifleman13]

Granted, but that backscratcher given to you is a 2x4 with poisonous barbed wire strewn around it.

I wish my SH3 Kaleun could get past 1940...

[TarJak]

Granted, on Janueary 1 1941 he dies whilst attempting to blow tanks directly beneath a British TF with several cruisers, BB's and DD's.

I wish I had a curry for lunch instead of steamed vegetables.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but they're both loathsome.:-?

I wish that I had a magical raccoon.

[Raptor1]

Granted, it has the power to annihilate the world, with or without your permission

I wish I had a magical machine-gun

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but you're banned for using an aimbot on a VAC protected server.

I wish that my raccoon's name would be Squiggles and he could shoot pixie dust out his ass.

[Task Force]

Granted but you accidently get accidently behind said racoon and the rest is history.;)
I wish life had a time compresion button.

[JHuschke]

Granted, life had a time compression..however you used it as you used it in SH3..you went to 1400X and ran into an 18 wheel truck.As you know time compression can go backwards!

:hmm: I wish Jennifer Rostock was my girlfriend even though she's probably in her 18-20's and I'm 15. :rock: And live with me forever!

[Task Force]

Granted you to get together, But then you see anouther Girl you would like. But your stuck with her FOR LIFE.:cool: Ps Im glad to know im not the only 15 year old on this fourm.

I wish I had a Ferreri sportscar.:D

[TarJak]

Granted, but you will have to build it yourself because Ferreri doesn't exist as a company and when you launch your car, Ferrari sues you for breach of trademark.

I wish I could say "Theophilus Thistler the thistle sifter, in sifting a sieveful of unsifted thistles thrust three thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb", six times very quickly without making a mistake.