Game: Crush Each Other's Dreams

[ubootcomrade]

Granted, but soon after, your DOS Virtual machine was destroyed by Hugh Laurie who was dressed up as Gordon Brown, because he is a communist spy, on a non-stop mission to crush capitalism. (admit it, you were not expecting that)


I wish Raptorland would grant the glorious puppet state of Ubootcomradecountry its independance.

[NealT]

Granted that would be nice. However, soon afterwards, Ubercomeradecountry would finish the development of it's strategic missile system and after the dictator took over and launched the missiles, the end of the world would be a forgone conclusion.

Now what I wish were that I would win the lottery, be given the money in cash, and be able to take a couple of weeks' vacation to go to the Subsim 2008 meeting where I could wine and dine with all of the great Subsim people out there.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, because I'm going and I would be your bestist friend in the whole wide world.

I wish NealT comes true.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, both of your wishes come true, you get married at the subsim meeting and live happily ever after

I wish I could have thought of a better crush

[Raptor1]

Granted, but the crush is so much better that you are blamed with conspiracy and are imprisoned for life in an obscure army base

I wish I had the most magnificent piece of art to prove to Schroeder once and for all that I am the greatest artist in the world

[rifleman13]

Granted, but before Schroeder sees it, a professional art thief stole your masterpiece!

I wish it is not necessary to choose between the greater evil and the lesser evil...

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, so you chose the medium evil and we are now led by a Satanic Psychic

I wish my medication wouldn't make me sleepy ZZZZZZZzzzzzzZZZZZZzzzzzz

[Raptor1]

Granted, it now makes you hyper and causes you to be hospitalized in a sanitarium after several incidents I will not elaborate on here...

I wish Subsim was real and not a myth

[Tango589]

Granted, it now makes you hyper and causes you to be hospitalized in a sanitarium after several incidents I will not elaborate on here...

I wish Subsim was real and not a myth
Granted. Subsim is now real and it is a moth.

I wish I could drink beer and still drive legally.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but only in Cambodia.

I wish alcohol actually had a smell.

[Raptor1]

Granted, it now smells like napalm in the morning

I don't wish anything, carry on

[Tango589]

Granted, it now smells like napalm in the morning

I don't wish anything, carry on

Granted.

I wish I had a millionairess girlfriend whose dad owned a brewery.

[UnderseaLcpl]

Granted, it now smells like napalm in the morning

I don't wish anything, carry on

Granted.

I wish I had a millionairess girlfriend whose dad owned a brewery.

Granted, but her dad disowns her when she starts dating you. You get married but she divorces you 15 years later and takes half of your stuff. Now you have to pay child support for your 4 kids, and you're pretty sure one of them isn't yours. Isn't matrimony beautiful?


I wish I liked cinnamon rolls as much as everyone else does.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you now like cinnamon rolls as much as every one else does, but they are now hallucinogenic and after eating one you attempt to fly from the top of the Empire State building and you succeed, sadly you are mistaken for an ICBM launched from an unnamed communist country and are shot down by an F-16

I wish I had an F-16

[Raptor1]

Granted, you get one from the shady guy in the dark alley (With the...you know), but you forgot to paint it over from it's old Soviet markings (It was captured and then sold, or just captured) and you are shot down

I wish I had an Automatic Anti-Communist MLRS

[Jimbuna]

Granted, all you need now is the ordnance for it.

I wish all colours were blue to the eye.

[TarJak]

Granted they are, but now when driving you end up hitting a blue brick wall

I wish blue was green

[Mush Martin]

Granted but as your driving you run into a green brick wall

I wish there really was a total perspective vortex, the one
I tried was broken, though the cake was good.:up:

[TarJak]

Granted, there is however it is not where you can see it due to a lack of perspective in its 2D universe.

I wish I understood the 4th dimension

[UnderseaLcpl]

Granted, there is however it is not where you can see it due to a lack of perspective in its 2D universe.

I wish I understood the 4th dimension

Granted, you understand time and both theories of relativity. You must spend the rest of your life trying to explain them to people that call you an idiot.

I wish the cake wasn't a lie.

[Raptor1]

Granted

http://img181.imageshack.us/img181/4100/caketr5.jpg

I wish I could get Portal's "Still Alive" song out of my head (It's been months since I played the game)

[ubootcomrade]

Granted, it is replaced by the telletubbys theme tune, enjoy your descent into insanity :up:


I wish I had some cake.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, that song is replaced by The Wombles of Wimbledon Common song.

I wish this bitch sitting opposite me would lock herself in a cell for 6 months.

[ubootcomrade]

Granted, but you get locked in there with her.

I wish old age wasnt slowing down jimbuna :rotfl:

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, it speeds him up instead and he steadily accelerates to and past the speed of light and we now concurrently can't hear him and hear nothing but him and it's getting dark in here, where did the light go?

I wish I wasn't going mad

[Raptor1]

Granted, you are only becoming slightly deranged

I wish FuMO was a sort of pizza that tasted like you're drinking coke at the same time

[TarJak]

Granted, the FuMo pizza you just ate is causing molto fumo!

I wish I could avoid the next round of boring meetings

[Jimbuna]

Granted, you are sent into the next room to participate in the next boring debate instead.

I wish crocodile tears were consumable.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, they are, but so are you and you are, by the crocodile

I wish this guy would stop rolling around:rotfl:

[Mush Martin]

Granted but he is stopped by the front fender
of your Red with white leather 67 caddy convertible and
totals it. your claim is denied with insurance because of
electronic evidence they found on the internet on a website
called subsim where they have found proof that you were
wishing for such an event to happen, as a consequence
your charged with insurance fraud and due to mounting
legal tie ups and expenses. your suddenly bankrupt homeless
and without even a bottle of aftershave to drink, fortunately
your luck changes when suddenly you find a deceased bigfoot.

I wish my tea biscuits hadnt turned out quite that dry.

[Tango589]

Granted, but they are now all soggy and disintegrate into gunge when they are taken within 3' of a cup of tea.

I wish work was fun.

[Raptor1]

Granted, you are now addicted to the job of making Mush's tea biscuits wetter, but Mush doesn't like the way you work and when you refuse to leave after being fired (as you like the job so much), he is forced to run you over with a bulldozer

I wish this and that

[Tango589]

Granted, you are now addicted to the job of making Mush's tea biscuits wetter, but Mush doesn't like the way you work and when you refuse to leave after being fired (as you like the job so much), he is forced to run you over with a bulldozer

I wish this and that

:rotfl:

Granted, also you get a free helping of the other. Which you dislike. Intensely.

I wish the sun would shine like this guy: :sunny:

[Mush Martin]

Granted it is but where I am not where you are.

I wish my teabiscuits werent so soggy I wish my workers
werent so intent on getting them soggy. lazy blighters

[Raptor1]

Granted, the sun shines so much that your biscuits dry out, when all your attempts to make them wet again (But not as wet as they used to be) fail, you runs over everyone else with a bulldozer

I wish Mush's bulldozer license was suspended

[UnderseaLcpl]

Granted, the sun shines so much that your biscuits dry out, when all your attempts to make them wet again (But not as wet as they used to be) fail, you runs over everyone else with a bulldozer

I wish Mush's bulldozer license was suspended


Granted, but his excavator licence remains in effect long enough for him to knock your house down.


I wish the GWX team could mod real life.

[Randomizer]

Granted, but the mod is incompatable with your lifestyle, causing you to require repeated rebooting... By real boots.

I wish I had a real Death Star.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but you don't have the crew to operate it

I wish I could convince the population I'm not an oppressive dictator

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, but now they think you are a push over and they overthrow your government and you are forced to flee to ubootcomreadeland and live in exile

I wish the dogs wouldn't bark so much

[Jimbuna]

Granted, they now purr like cats.

I wish my dog wasn't such a mammies boy.

[Randomizer]

Arrgh - missed it...

Granted, he now has the character of the woman who works across your desk. You know, the one you hate soooo much!

I wish that load of wood would split and stack itself.

[Raptor1]

Granted, it splits your head and stacks upon it

I wish I had a DeTe II

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, but since I have no clue what a De Te II is I give you a TT Doo and you really don't want me to explain that

I wish a meteorite would vaporize all the doggy poo in my back yard and cut the grass, too

[Mush Martin]

What a dumbassed wish your just begging to get your house knocked
down aint ya wiley coyote?
well not this time wish modified and granted
it is granted but not metorite a rogue star wipes out your
entire solar system and although life finds a way your little
species was never heard from again.

I wish I had a sling shot that could take a rogue star in the chamber.:doh:

[Platapus]

I wish I had a sling shot that could take a rogue star in the chamber.:doh:

Granted but it would be so heavy that you could not lift it.

I wish that someone would start a thread on Subsim GT that would not immediately devolve into personnel attacks

[Raptor1]

Granted, it instead devolves into armored attacks and Global Thermonuclear War (Personnel attacks? You meant personal didn't you?)

I wish Mush would have learned to be careful what he wished for after a couple of thousand wishes granted and crushed

[Mush Martin]

Granted nope no sorry mush is too dumb best you can hope
for is mush makes more spectacular opportunities for wish
crushing for you.

(gee I thought the rogue star thing was a good bat and its
not personal against dt. well ok but its personal fun not personal
nastiness)

I wish my wife would cook once in a while.

[Raptor1]

Sorry, I meant Digital Trucker in my last wish, need more sleep

Granted, but it tastes awfully awful

I wish Digital Trucker was careful what he wished for

Hey, post 1,500 for me and 2,300 for the thread

[Digital_Trucker]

Congratulations and granted I'll be more careful what I wish for from now on, however, considering the fact that I've never been careful in my life, I will have to quit wishing
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

[Mush Martin]

Nope sorry you cant have no wish so in an emergency we have
a default wish for people who try to stop the thread.

we now grant you your default wish of eleven tons of rotting
fish in your den.

I wish I had a camera:|\\

[Randomizer]

Granted, it sits under eleven tons of rotting fish in Digital_Truckers den. He has a shotgun and is awaiting your arrival.

I wish people were not so quick to unleash rogue stars on the systems of our Swirling Whirlpool of Death Galaxy.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, rogue stars are now slowly unleashed on the systems of our Swirling Whirlpool of Death Galaxy. Therefore, we have plenty of time to see them coming, but can do nothing about it and end up burying our heads in the sand (or places even worse) to avoid seeing the end come only to discover that it has all been an illusion and now our heads are buried for eternity and beyond for no reason.

I wish all the thousands and thousands of my wishes had not been crushed by the evil inhabitants of this thread

[Mush Martin]

Granted lets just take it as written then that I did it all with
extreme prejudice.

I wish a cartoon piano would make the bomb whistle and fall on D.T,'s head a half second after he reads this.

[TarJak]

Granted, However the keys did not fully replace his teeth as usually happens

I wish I had some cheese

[Mush Martin]

Granted but its process cheese food slices.
and melba toast.

I wish everybody could have their favourite chocolate.

[rifleman13]

Granted, everybody has their chocolate, but nobody thanks you for it!

I wish for somebody to push that big "red button"...

[Randomizer]

Granted, too bad the Big Red Button releases the cartoon piano suspended over your own head. After a rather satistifying kablooie upon impact, you discover that all of Your teeth have been replaced by piano keys. Proof that the system does work, at least in cartoons.

I wish I had an order of fish and chips with a nice cold, non-toxic, non-explosive, non-universe ending half litre mug of beer.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but you're not hungry anymore

I wish I had that thing

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but it is that 'thing' from the horror movie and it soon kills you.

I wish the tide of opinion would ebb on occasion.

[Mush Martin]

Granted but it flo's against you.

I wish my wife would cook breakfast once in a while.

[Raptor1]

Granted, she cooks you for breakfast

I forgot what I wished for

[Mush Martin]

Fine we grant you a default wish to 22 tonnes of rotting smoked kippers
in your kitchen.

I wish for a better default wish if I get stuck.

[TarJak]

Granted, your default wish is only slightly better than having your eyes soaked in hydrochloric acid

I wish I had the capacity

[Raptor1]

Granted, but you don't have any way to use it

I wish my Industrial Capacity quadrupled

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but seeing as how it was eight times smaller than TarJaks to begin with, you still have less.

I wish nothing ever mattered.

[Randomizer]

Granted, and so you are now at total peace with the hated Woman At the Desk Across from Yours since she no longer matters.

I wish rain drops kept falling on my head.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, but now the tune to that stupid song is stuck in the head with the raindrops falling on it and you go completely mad and storm into a grocery store and throw all the melons at the walls and then sit in the ice cream freezer until the funny smelling guys in the white coats come and take you away screaming to be locked up in a rubber room for the rest of your life

I wish I didn't thing of these things http://209.85.12.227/1396/109/emo/busted2.gif

[Raptor1]

Granted, you don't thing of them, only think of them

I wish I could destroy my enemies with the power of heavy armor and mechanized infantry

[Mush Martin]

Granted but simulatanously the develop tactical nuclear artillery
shells and your invasion dies in its tracks despite your superior
forces.

I wish we drove on driveways and parked on parkways.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, you can even get high on highways.

I wish my face would fit.

[Randomizer]

D'oh... Too Late to crush Mush Martin's dream, a quick rewrite is required.

Granted, it now fits the Hated Woman who works across from your Desk.

I wish my cars engine ran on tap water.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but it's still too inefficient and travels at 1km/y

I wish pizza was measured on the Richter Scale

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, but your pizza is so small it doesn't even register

I wish I was this guy:|\\

[Mush Martin]

Granted :damn:

I wish D.T. was smiley guy too.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but because of his double identity he is blamed with conspiracy and tortured until forced to admit participation

I wish you were over there >>>>

[Randomizer]

Granted but you are over there>>>>>> as well and when you're not looking he fires a pizza registering 8.6 into the back of your head.

I wish an magnitude 8.6 pizza has pepperoni on it.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, 8.6 magnitude pizza has pepperoni on it, but the pepperoni only registers .2 on the scale. The pizza is therefore unbalanced and falls off the table where the wolfhounds who have been circling gobble it up and then decide to chew off your left leg

I wish the sun would come out

[Raptor1]

Granted, it came out all the way over here

I wish my bunker for protection against T-H-E-M was ready

[Mush Martin]

Granted it is but as they were the outsourcers you used to build
it they made a secret entrence you cant ever find as the door
is in another dimension while the door on your side is like an
antrap and only lets you in theres no way to get out and the
evil aliens come nightly and torment you with soggy tea biscuits
and strange pizza's made of raw dough and boiled eggplant with
no cheese and with only poppyseeds for trimmings. these pizzas
are delivered to you in an obscene method not fit to print here and register
9.0 on the Richter scale.

I wish I had a richter scale so I could see the look
on raptors face night one.

[Tango589]

Granted, but you scale goes:

A-B-C-D-E-F-G

I wish my scale included two new notes: H and J.

[Mush Martin]

Granted but they are called the Hekyl and Jekyl notes because
whenever you play one its the other you need to play.

I wish I had a field of Improbabity surrounding my starship

[Tango589]

Granted but they are called the Hekyl and Jekyl notes because
whenever you play one its the other you need to play.

I wish I had a field of Improbabity surrounding my starship

Granted, but due to the improbable nature of it, it turns into a bowl of custard-covered Vogons who are reciting poetry at you.

I wish Douglas Adams was still alive.

[Mush Martin]

:oops:Heres your default wish of a slap with a trout.

I wish I had a salmon of doubt.

[Randomizer]

Granted but it causes you an artichoke of pain.

I wish there was a stairway to heaven.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, there is, but there are no handrails and it's awfully icy and windy above about 10,000 feet

I wish the earth was made of peanut butter

[Mush Martin]

Granted but an interdimensional hyperintelligent shade of the colour
blue uses it to bake cookies in a nearby quasar.

I wish compulsive cleaners like my beloved would realize the planet
is made of dirt, where are they gonna put it all?

[Jimbuna]

Granted, she puts it in your sandwiches.

I wish the end game commenced at the beginning.

[Randomizer]

Granted, that means you proceed from loser to not involved at all. This creates a game-theory paradox wherein this and that result in the next thing and Oh, look, somebody dumped dirty peanut butter on the board. That's gonna be tough to clean up. Now you have to start all over again at the end.

I wish there was a wine called The Bottle of Verdun.

[Mush Martin]

Granted there is but its followed up with a chaser of
Bloody nose ridge saki

I wish I hadnt come all this way for saki light

[STEED]

Granted and now your bored silly

I wish the answer to the great question, do women really fake it.

[STEED]

Come you swine I want a answer. :lol:

[Randomizer]

Granted and now your bored silly

I wish the answer to the great question, do women really fake it.
Granted. Yes they do but you will really never know when and can never be sure if so this knowledge is worthless to you.

I wish I had a new GPS reciever.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, but the GPS stands for Global Poo Smearing and we are all now smeared in poo and it's all blamed on you and you are launched to the outer limits tied to an ICBM with no space suit and when you reach the edge of the atmosphere your skin peels off and your eyes explode.

I wish I had a hat like this guy:arrgh!:

[Platapus]

I wish I had a hat like this guy:arrgh!:

Granted, but then you would have a face like that guy and be stuck on a website forever.

I wish I could find some good refereed articles for my paper. :cry:

[Raptor1]

Granted, but they are all fake

I wish green was the new red

[Platapus]

I wish green was the new red

Granted but that would mean that all legal aliens entering our country would be issued Red Cards and would be penalized by the Umpire.

I wish highlighters would know what needed to be highlighted

[Randomizer]

Granted but they secretly aspire to be erasers and all of your important text is forever lost.

I wish for a fast ship for I intend to sail in harms way.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but you have not yet began to fight...

I wish to first gain victory and then make the best use of it I can

[UnderseaLcpl]

Granted, but you have not yet began to fight...

I wish to first gain victory and then make the best use of it I can


Granted, you gain victory in battle with a small rodent in your kitchen and make the best use of it you can by having to carry it to the garbage.

I wish Kay Bailey Hutchinson would answer my letters instead of sending back generic "thank-yous"

[Randomizer]

Granted, she answers your letters with an Alpha Strike from the USS Carl Vinson (CVN-70). The last thing you ever see is a 500-pound laser guided bomb fuzed for air burst with To UnderseaLcpl. Please Leave Me Alone. Luv KBH chalked on the side.

I wish I had just one bridge too far.

__________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ ____________
Dreamcrusher's note: This crush changed considerably once it was determined that Kay Bailey Hutchinson is a United States Senator and not some brainless celebrity babe that this Dreamcrusher had never heard of.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but it collapses and now you face just one swim too far.

I wish I didn't have to go to prison today.

[TarJak]

Granted, you get to go directly to Mayfair but you do not pass go or collect 200 quid.

I wish Monopoly money was legal tender

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but only in Australia....henceforth the Peso and Monoploly Pound is legal tender down under.

I wish I knew if my mate was going to join me at the SS Meet so accomodation could be booked.

[TarJak]

Granted, he tells you but not for another week or two.

I wish I knew whether I was going to the subsim meeting.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but you don't know why

I wish I remembered what I forgot

[Mush Martin]

Granted but its a memory suddenly crystal clear and persistent
of the time when you woke up at the bottom of latrine hole the
morning after chilly night paralyzed from the after affects of
tequila and unable to speak to try and save yourself from the
platoon above you all you can do is wonder where the yellow
Heels and gold glitter pasties your wearing came from, while
Black Sabbath plays the mob rules between your temples full
blast and your buddies do their best impression of Hells Home
delivery

I wish I had some maple syrop.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, what a coincidence, you can have some of mine.....a colleague returned from Canada yesterday with a box of maple syrup biscuits made by a company called Turkey Hill.

I wish my colleague had brought me back a bottle of Canadian dark rum instead.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but he drunk it all himself, right in front of you

I wish Wonderland wasn't ruled by the tyrannical Queen of Hearts

[Schroeder]

Granted now it's ruled by a well known weird guy with a black mustache and you are his personal servant.

I wish I wasn't that bored.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, your only slightly disturbed now.

I wish there was muck in money.

[Randomizer]

Granted, your money is now mucky and a government audit determines that mucky money has to be dirty money. All that you own is seized and sold at auction for a fraction of its value. Except for the maple sugar biscuits. You get to keep those.

Opened a book this morning and a $20.00 bill fell out. I wish that happened a lot more often.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, your money is now mucky and a government audit determines that mucky money has to be dirty money. All that you own is seized and sold at auction for a fraction of its value. Except for the maple sugar biscuits. You get to keep those.

Opened a book this morning and a $20.00 bill fell out. I wish that happened a lot more often.

Granted, but it's a pity the legal currency in your country is the Zloty.

I wish my thermometer could measure distance.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, it can measure distance since it is a rectal thermometer

I wish I'd get off my arse and do something productive

[Raptor1]

Granted, good luck robbing that bank :up:

I wish it worked

[Mush Martin]

granted heres some viagra

I wish I had two ZMKB Progress (ivchyenko) D-27 Propfans
for my lightning (13800shp)

[Raptor1]

Granted, but my jet is faster anyway

I wish I wasn't just a figment of your collective imagination

[Randomizer]

Granted, your existance has been deleted from our collective imaginations and you no longer exist.

I wish reality didn't bite so often.

[Platapus]

I wish reality didn't bite so often.

Granted now it just licks you *all over* again and again.

I wish word processors could just read my mind and write what needs to be written

[Mush Martin]

Ganted they do but all of your thoughts come out on your wife's printer
at the office.

I wish wishing were not so complicated now.

[Randomizer]

Granted, wishing has now become extremely simple. Crushing them is growing increasingly complex however since there is only a finite number of methods that can be used to destroy the Universe or even our Swirling Whirlpool of Death galaxy. Or maybe not.

I wish this pencil had a built in spell checker.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but your pencil only checks Sanskrit

I wish people would make more sense by making less sense

[TarJak]

Granted, the mole on your lip becomes less sensical than the underpanst your father wore last week

I wish I knew what the hell I was talking about

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but it still makes no sense.

I wish that everyone did possess common sense, as set down by Thomas Paine.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but the common sense is my sense, leading the world to ultimate chaos

I wish I knew when a Croquet mallet can be a billy club

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but you only realise after you hit yourself over the head.

I wish love wasn't blind.

[Koondawg]

I wish love wasn't blind.

Granted then the gerbal could actually see where it's going....


I wish we all had a beer, we could toast....

[Enigma]

I wish love wasn't blind.

Granted, but if she could see, she wouldn't date you.

I wish I knew what my dog was thinking.....

[Raptor1]

Granted, it's planning to steal Koon's beer

I wish the weather was better

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but only marginally better than Siberia.

I wish derogitary terms were complimentary.

[Mush Martin]

Granted Ninny:up:

I wish for eggs benedict fresh hot
perfectly made and uncorrupted completely
by wish crushers

[Raptor1]

Granted, but you have to pick it up from the bottom of the Mariana Trench (No deliveries!)

I wish I hadn't wished this wish

[Mush Martin]

Granted


I wish I could send raptor1 to go pick up my breakfast
off of the floor of the pacific.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but he uses a shovel he earlier used to shovel cow dung with.

I wish an eskimo roll was edible.

[Randomizer]

Granted, they are now made with rancid seal flippers and boiled cod cheeks, garnished with lark's vomit and served on an inverted kayak.

I wish (the water in) the kettle would hurry up and boil.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, but it boils so rapidly that it evaporates

I wish I hadn't just eaten breakfast before reading that last crush

[Raptor1]

Granted, you are now hungry, and it will always be thus, forever and ever and ever and ever........................................and ever...

I wish I was Holy Roman Emperor

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you are now Holy Roman Emperor, you are full of holes and the empire doesn't exist any more

I wish I wasn't so hungry

[Platapus]

I wish I wasn't so hungry

Granted but now your stomach is so small that a single atom completely fills it up. You can never enjoy any food for the rest of your life until you starve to death.

I wish spaghetti did not have so many carbs. :(

[Raptor1]

Granted, It doesn't have any sort of carb

I wish for 60 tons of lead conveniently placed on top of my friend's roof

[Platapus]

I wish for 60 tons of lead conveniently placed on top of my friend's roof

Granted, but in this case conveniently means when your friend just sold his house to you and you just moved in.

I wish summers would not be so hot and humid where I live.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, they are now cold and wet.

I wish my suspicions weren't ill founded.

[Raptor1]

Granted, T-H-E-M are indeed coming!

I wish I could drop a 2000lbs conventional HE bomb exactly 1.64 miles northwest of my house right now

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you drop a 2000lbs conventional HE bomb exactly 1.64 miles northwest of your house right now, but right now is not when it was when you wished and the rotation of the earth causes the bomb to land on your house

I wish I had an atom sandwich

[Raptor1]

Granted, but even filling your now tiny stomach cannot satisfy you, and you are left hungry forever, and ever, and ever, and ever (...and ever)

I wish to turn the Task Force 71 degrees to starboard so that it may launch aircraft against the enemy

[Randomizer]

Granted but on the new course there is only land so the Task Force runs aground and is destroyed by enemy airpower. You are court martialled for incompetance, convicted and sentenced to penal servitude for life. You spend your prison days removing all the carbs from Navy issue spaghetti whilst dining on atom sandwiches.

I wish atom sandwiches weren't fattening.

[Platapus]

Granted but on the new course there is only land so the Task Force runs aground and is destroyed by enemy airpower. You are court martialled for incompetance, convicted and sentenced to penal servitude for life. You spend your prison days removing all the carbs from Navy issue spaghetti whilst dining on atom sandwiches.


You are good! :up: One of the best crushers of the thread :rock:

[Raptor1]

Granted but on the new course there is only land so the Task Force runs aground and is destroyed by enemy airpower. You are court martialled for incompetance, convicted and sentenced to penal servitude for life. You spend your prison days removing all the carbs from Navy issue spaghetti whilst dining on atom sandwiches.

You are good! :up: One of the best crushers of the thread :rock:
It was pretty good, but he didn't do anything unexpected by running me aground (Even though there's no land around in me campaign anyway, but whatever)

Now there must be retribution...soon enough...

[Platapus]

Granted but on the new course there is only land so the Task Force runs aground and is destroyed by enemy airpower. You are court martialled for incompetance, convicted and sentenced to penal servitude for life. You spend your prison days removing all the carbs from Navy issue spaghetti whilst dining on atom sandwiches.

You are good! :up: One of the best crushers of the thread :rock:

It was pretty good, but he didn't do anything unexpected by running me aground (Even though there's no land around in me campaign anyway, but whatever)


I would have had your task force turn right in to a spread of Type 93 torpedoes... but I am nasty that way. :)

[Raptor1]

It's the Atlantic

Granted, but they have been found to be highly addictive instead, and after you tasted it once you cannot eat anything else. you die a horrible painful death from malnutrition and your remains are forgotten for all eternity because you also recommended the stuff to your family members and friends, which suffered the same fate as you

I wish I didn't have to have retribution

[Platapus]

It's the Atlantic

It was not called the Long Lance for nutton! :rotfl: :rotfl:

[UnderseaLcpl]

I wish I didn't have to have retribution


Granted, now you suffer terrible pain and ultimately death at the hands of an unprovoked aggressor.

I wish they could find and convict Raptor1's killer, whilst never convicting me.

[Randomizer]

Granted, they find and convict him of performing a valuable public service. His killer is punished by gifts of endless wealth and compliant super-models. You on the other hand are never thought of again.

I wish that catma was the opposite of dogma.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but the meaning of both words now baffle you twice as much

I wish for a glass of Sodium Nitrate

[Jimbuna]

Granted, now your food never tastes the same.

I wish ostriches could fly.

[Tango589]

Granted, but they lay their eggs in mid-flight and one hits you on the head.

I wish I was Pope.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you are Pope, but you are the Pope of Poop

I wish that the Space-Time Continuum was easier to fix once it was ripped

[Tango589]

Granted, but your sewing skill just aint up to the job, bucko!

I wish I didn't have to keep looking back over 2-3 pages of crushed dreams to catch up on whats happened.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, now you have to read back 6 pages.

I wish my supper was ready.

[TarJak]

Granted, but instead of Vindaloo you have steamed green vegetables and instead of rice you have gruell.

I wish I had a vindaloo with rice and papadams and a nice cucmber raita

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, but you can't eat it because your lips have been superglued together

I wish I knew what all that crap was

[Randomizer]

Granted but after investigating you discover all that crap was paid for with your money and bought on your behalf. All fingers of guilt are pointed in your direction and the mere fact that you are innocent of killing the pig for the vindaloo or building the dams in the papadam mean nothing. You are hounded by exotic food fanatics anxious to acquire your bits and pieces for some nice take-out steak and kidney pie. Eventually they will catch you.

I wish for a fishing trip to Calabogie.

[ubootcomrade]

Granted, but you find that all the fish have been stolen by TarJak

I wish I knew how Tony and STEED were getting along.

[NealT]

Granted but how they are doing is not as interesting as WHAT they are doing. :rotfl:

I wish I had a bigger hard drive because I need more space to save games...

[Raptor1]

Granted, but it's so big it cannot fit into the case

I wish I had the new Crush-O-Matic 2000

[NealT]

Granted, but most of the ones they built had a defect that not only crushed, they mangled, twisted, crushed, and distorted beyond repair, and with you needing glasses, the most likely thing that would happen would be you would miss the ice and get your computer instead, thereby leaving you without internet and without the money to purchase another computer since they are charging 5 times the price of an Alien computer for one crushomatic 2000.

I wish I had some hot sauce to go along with my leftover spaghetti I had to warm up in my microwave so that my wife could go to the store.

[TarJak]

Granted, But the sauce is so hot your lips a burned to a crisp and your wife now has to take you to the hospital

I wish someone would buy all these fish

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, someone buys all those fish, but they pay you with twice as many squid

I wish I had some Calimari right now

[TarJak]

Granted, Funnily enough I have plenty and for a small amount of gold you can have some too

I wish Digital Trucker would take these squid and pay with $1million worth of gold

[Mush Martin]

Granted but the gold is from the lost treasure of C'ordiliere
at the bottom of the marianas trench and listen be a pal will you
and keep an eye out for my eggs benny's while your down there
will you old boy.

I wish Tarjak success in recovering the million
dollars in gold and my breakfast from the bottom
of the marianas trench, hopefully he can get bob
ballard cheap because a million doesnt go very far
and breakfast is getting cold.

[ubootcomrade]

Granted, he is sucessful but he doesnt give you any gold or breakfast.


I wish my new communist state of Ubootcomradeland would win its second war, this time aginst the evil dictatorship of TarJakannia.

[TarJak]

Granted, it wins the war but is so charmed by its conquests inhabitants that it quickly changes side and declares Tarjak as ultimate ruler of both realms:arrgh!:

I wish I knew earlier about Tajakannia

[Koondawg]

I wish I knew earlier about Tajakannia

Granted but that still wouldn't have stopped you from buying that hooker in Berlin.


I wished I hadn't paid extra for the room with a view....

KD

[UnderseaLcpl]

[quote]


I wished I hadn't paid extra for the room with a view....

KD

Granted, You paid extra for the room without a view.

I wish I had another good book to read right now.

[TarJak]

Granted read this:
http://books.google.com.au/books?id=q0L30sDDGO4C&printsec=frontcover&dq=reading+primer&sig=ACfU3U1idgb8dSnR2Xx96CzQHMJab--vrQ#PPA2,M1

I wish it was easier to get to Galveston from here

[Mush Martin]

granted they survey out a direct walking path.

I wish you all a good day.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, a good day was had by all.

I wish someone had remembered to post me their t-shirt size and whether they wear a cap not an hour ago in their PM.

[Koondawg]

Granted....but coming from you wouldn't it be a Jim-Cap?



I wish I could remember what day it was....

[TarJak]

Granted you remembered but you lost the information when your hard drive went kaput

I wish my wife would pour me another glass of wine.

[Raptor1]

Granted, you remember it's the day of your execution

EDIT: Bah

Granted, you are now even more drunk and you jump out of the window as a result

I wish I knew where it is

[TarJak]

Granted you find it but your mum tells you to stop playing with it or you'll go blind

I wish there was a comfy mattress outside the window

[Koondawg]

Granted....still soiled with the hooker from Berlin


I wish I could for-see the future

[TarJak]

Granted, but you forsee sloppy seconds with my hooker

I wish I was somewhere more satisfactory

[Koondawg]

Granted but where else would be this much fun....


I wished that there was a cure for herpes

[NealT]

Granted but then there would be no need to wait.

I wish waiting wasn't as hard...

[Raptor1]

Granted, now it's very easy to wait forever

I wish threads grew on trees

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but it's a spool tree.

I wish memory sticks were made of wood.

[ubootcomrade]

Granted, but they catch fire easily.

I wish that everyone thought that they were all farm animals that ate curtains.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you think you are a sheep who eats curtains

I wish the :sunny:would come out again

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but not until tomorrow morning.

I wish a certain individual would stop baiting people on a variety of other threads.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, but if he didn't ............ oh never mind, there is no crush for that wish

I wish we could all just get along, little dawgie, git along

[Jimbuna]

Granted, I have no desire to crush that wish.

I wish it was supper time (Chinese night).

[Tango589]

Granted, I have no desire to crush that wish.

I wish it was supper time (Chinese night).

Granted, but you have to wait until it is night in China to have your supper.

I wish my kingdom of Tango589istan had a self-propelled hedehog-howitzer with which to bombard Uboatcomeradeland and Tarjakannia with small spiny mammals. (That should start an interesting conflict.):huh:

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, your kingdom of Tango589istan had a self-propelled hedehog-howitzer with which to bombard Uboatcomeradeland and Tarjakannia with small spiny mammals, but those spiny mammals miss their targets and, instead, pummel the citizens of DT_city, they become outraged, and attack Uboatcomradeland, Tarjakistan and Tango589istan with cannon balls made from rotten limberger cheese

I wish I DT_city wasn't such a dump

[TarJak]

Granted its not such a dump that even the rats abandon it in favour of Tango589istan.

I wish I could abdicate my iron rule of Tarjakannia and Uboatcomradeland

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you abdicate your iron rule of Tarjakannia and Uboatcomradeland and are immdediately elected Mayor of DT_city to rule over the rats who have emigrated from Tango589istan

I wish I hadn't eaten so much that I feel like rolling over and exploding

[NealT]

Granted, but then you have so much to throw up because of the food poisoning and they would not be able to determine during the autopsy that ecoli was responsible...

I wish I had some really good peanut butter chicken and hot and sour soup for dinner instead of frozen pizza.

[ubootcomrade]

Granted, but while you were pouring youself somthing to drink, i snuck into your house and ate your dinner. :p

I wish for a nice big bowl of cannibal kidney soup

[Mush Martin]

granted but now you must eat it.

I wish you no table or chair.

[TarJak]

Granted, the table and chair are gone but came knocking on your door asking for a drink

I wish tables would set themselves

[Mush Martin]

Granted you are here by banished to the land of eternal beauty and
the beast reruns be our guest be our guest put your wishing to the test
wrap a napkin round your neck bon homme and we'll provide the rest.:|\\


I wish big production musicals were still cool
except sout pacific wich will never be cool.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but island nations from the South Pacific start producing more and more actors which work in these musicals. Hence, the South Pacific does in fact become famous.

I wish that I had a better fan for my office.

[Koondawg]

I wish that I had a better fan for my office.

Granted but the SBD's would be blown into the next office causing mayhem and possibly insue a riot with all the finger pointing...

I wish we could wear firearms...legally

[Mush Martin]

[wist too slow]

you can but they only legalize siege mortars
worn on the belt.

I wish we had new smilies.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but they are too plain and unappealing.

I wish that I could type faster.

[TarJak]

Granted, but your super typing speed wears your fingers out and you need to take a loooooong rest between posts.

I wish satfish had claws as well as whiskers

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but now we have to call them Cratfish.

I wish ebay would recognise my 2001 account.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but someone hacked it and bought stolen paintings off it. Henceforth, the bobbies show up in their lorry and haul you off for trial.

I wish that the FSM was real.

[TarJak]

Granted they do and now want to charge you for the sale you made in 2001 and interested totally GBP300.

I wish Jimbuna was on TS

[NealT]

Granted, but then you would have to listen to his constant whining about how they won't recognize his 2001 eBay account when in fact he never really had one because it is all in his imagination.

Now I wish Senator Biden were not going to be the Democratic Nominee for Vice President.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, he is now the Republican Nominee.

I wish my dinner was free.

[Raptor1]

Granted, you get the free Tar and Glue cake

I wish my computer would reformat itself when I want it to

[rifleman13]

Granted, but all of your precious files and data are lost forever...

I wish for higher quality sound effects...

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but there so high it is your hearing they affect.

I wish my itches were scratchable.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but it just makes them worse

I wish the Berlin Wall would fall

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but it falls on top of you.

I wish mans next flight to the moon is in a hot air balloon.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, but it is you who makes the trip

I wish the Geico lizard would get run over by a Peterbilt

[Mush Martin]

granted he does but its ten years ago and it was your truck
due to his potential earnings for them the third largest insurer
in the U.S. sic's all of their lawers on you leaving you and all
your decendebts for two hundred generations bankrupt.

I wish D.T. Had a sense of humour about such things.

[NealT]

Granted but the type of humor (spelled the american way sorry) possessed is putrid and green, full of slime and a gooey, brownish and foul smelling substance that makes the dregs of an overripe garbage smell like a fine frency perfume by comparison.

I wish my left hand was working better...

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, your left hand is working better, but it's attached to your right wrist

I wish I knew the meaning of life

[UnderseaLcpl]

I wish I knew the meaning of life


Granted, 42. Now you have to look for the question.


I wish Subway had cheaper (but still quality) sammiches.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but the sammiches use salmonella-contaminated tomatoes.

I wish that my enemies all contracted typhus.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but since your wors't enemy is yourself...

I wish I could refill my glass of coke from the bottle in the fridge without having to get up

[TarJak]

Granted, but the catheter starts to become painful

I wish for more sport on TV

[Mush Martin]

Granted all australian tv is now completely given over
to synchronized swimming.

I wish I had to Bocci channel.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but you can only view it in the Swahili language.

I wish temptation was irresistable.

[TarJak]

Granted, you can't resist the temptation to give away all your money

I wish Jimbuna would give me some money

[Raptor1]

Granted, you can have his stockpiles of 20¥

I wish I could hear when the enemy is approaching

[Tango589]

Granted, you can have his stockpiles of 20¥

I wish I could hear when the enemy is approaching

Granted, but you only hear him when he is 2 paces behind you.

I wish my finger would stop bleeding.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, your finger stops bleeding, turns black and falls off

I wish the meaning of life wasn't 42 and I knew what the question was

[Raptor1]

Granted, you learn the question just before the universe implodes

I wish for an artillery barrage along the top of the riverbank, immediately!

[Platapus]

I wish for an artillery barrage along the top of the riverbank, immediately!

Granted but they are leaflet Artillery shells continuing leaflets saying that Raptor1 stores drugs and money in his house and giving your address. You can expect visitors later tonight.

I wish there was only one type of screw so I would only need one type of screwdriver.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but your next lady friend is bitterly disappointed.

I wish jellyfish were complimentary to custard dishes.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, jelyfish will always pay compliments to custard dishes, who curiously do not respond causing the jellyfishes to attack and kill everything on the ocean and then grow legs and conquer the earth

I wish I knew why

[Platapus]

Granted, but your next lady friend is bitterly disappointed.


Good one :up: ya got me on that one. :oops:

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but your next lady friend is bitterly disappointed.


Good one :up: ya got me on that one. :oops:

LOL :lol: :up:

[Raptor1]

Granted, but you still don't know how...

I wish...YOU...would make the next wish

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, YOU, makes the next wish

YOU wish I would shut up:D

[NealT]

Granted, but you never listen anyway so it makes no difference.

I wish I had Chinese food for dinner...

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, but you never listen anyway so it makes no difference.


:rotfl:Have you been talking to my wife again?:D

[Mush Martin]

Granted neal T is now having an affair with your wife.

I wish D.T. wouldnt keep losing track of the OP.:doh:

[Jimbuna]

Granted, he is now totally focussed on the OP (Other Planet).

I wish time wasn't of the essence.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but since time equals money, you also stop trying to gain money

I wish I knew what's worse

[asanovic7]

Granted, but now you know how is it when 20 black guys anal rape you.

I wish there is enough soy for everyone..

[Jimbuna]

Granted, if I only knew what soy was....sauce perhaps :hmm:

I wish my logic was understandable.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, your logic is now totally understandable, but only to a colony of ants

I wish logic wasn't so logical

[Tango589]

Granted, your logic is now totally understandable, but only to a colony of ants

I wish logic wasn't so logical

Granted, but instead of your computer running in a logical sequence it now starts spewing penguins and custard all over the floor, which is highly illogical since you don't have any penguin or custard programs installed on your computer.

I wish I was ineffable.

[Raptor1]

Granted, the court cannot find words horrible enough to describe you and your crimes and you are sentenced to an ineffably painful death sentence

I wish bailing would actually involve bails

[Tango589]

Granted, the court cannot find words horrible enough to describe you and your crimes and you are sentenced to an ineffably painful death sentence

I wish bailing would actually involve bails

Granted, bail is an old english word meaning bucket.

I wish cricket was so much more than an elaborate game of catch.

[Mush Martin]

granted now its an interstellar war .... did somebody just say wop!

I wish Bistro math was teachable.







@D.T.
Granted, your logic is now totally understandable, but only to a colony of ants

I wish logic wasn't so logical
http://echosphere.net/star_trek_insp/insp_logic_preview.jpg

[NealT]

Granted, but then what would you do when you ran out of bread?

I wish I could spend half the money the lobbyists are now in Denver...