Game: Crush Each Other's Dreams

[TarJak]

Granted, however because you do you miss out on the free lunch that your boss buys his employees today.

I wish there was such a thing as a free lunch

[NealT]

There is...it is free for people like me...paid for by people who are "Sea Knights" using tax $$ or tax Euros.

I wish that JB would move up a couple of meters so my rivets would stop creaking.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but then he is detected by the DDs, and the resulting DC and Hedgehog attacks destroys as well

I wish people were more careful of the destroyers

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, people are more careful of the destroyers, but they are so busy running away from the destroyers, they forget about the airplanes and are pummeled by bombs and torpedos and strafing and..............

I wish that "Burger King" guy in the commercials would really put some money in people's pockets (especially mine)

[Task Force]

Granted, its he takes twice the amount he put in.

I wish the burger king guy would stop stealing money.

[Raptor1]

Granted, he graduates from simple pick-pocketing to industrial espionage and money laundering

I wish that Burger King guy wasn't so dastardly

[Task Force]

Granted, now hese just plain evil.

I wish I could shoot down hunter in the next free for all dogfight.:yep:

[TarJak]

Granted, but when he bails out, the AI takes control of his plane and makes it collide with yours despite the fact that it was 2000ft below you and had to do a vertical climb at 2000ft/second to hit you.

I wish the IL2 AI was constrained by the same physics that the player aircraft are

[Jimbuna]

Granted the AI pilots now fly like 'girlies'.

I wish my suspicions were unfounded.

[Raptor1]

Granted, and you are back to step one in determining who tried to kill you

I wish Jimbuna would never find out who was trying to kill him *cough* *cough*

[NealT]

Granted. They kill him before he finds out.

I wish that whoever killed JB was not named R*****1

[TarJak]

Granted, however his suspicions are now focusing on making you tell him via diabolical tortures taught to him during his time as a member of the Tyneside Constabulary

I wish I could watch the interegation sessions

[NealT]

Granted, you do...with your eyes taped open. Of course, what you forgot is that during his training, they ruined his eyesight and it is YOU and not I whom he is interrogating...

I wish I had some NF Credits so I could buy the ship I really want...

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but it is soon uncovered that you stole the credits and you find yourself incarcerated in a police cell, you escape and are shot dead in the ensuing car chase.

http://freefever.com/animatedgifs/animated/policecar4.gif

I wish they would release SH5 this coming Christmas Day.

[NealT]

Granted they do, with all sorts of bugs and malicious code which attacks and eats at the core of your computer system, but not after draining your bank account and putting it into the SUBSIM fund for future server expansion.

I wish JB would be nicer to TJ...

[Raptor1]

Granted, but not nearly as nice to YOU

I wish..It...was dead

[Jimbuna]

Granted, It....is now dead, but likes decaying in your bed.

I wish TJ would enter into a civil partnership for someone that cared so much about him.....possibly NealT.

[NealT]

Granted he does, but since I am big and fat and ugly, he chooses you.

I wish that my son would leave permanently.

[TarJak]

Granted, he leaves your lounge room permanently and takes up residence in your bedroom permanently

I wish that insinuation was a crime

[kranz]

Granted, insinuation is a crime and since you have insinuated that it could be, you go to jail.

I wish some1 would pay a bail for you

[NealT]

Granted, they do...but with a blank check they stole from your checkbook and both You and TJ wind up in the same jailcell with very, very long prison terms...;)

I wish split green pea soup were not so alien-looking...

[Jimbuna]

Granted, it's human having a puke looking instead.

I wish garbage was a desirable commodity.

[Raptor1]

Granted, it is so desirable your wife keeps hoarding it

I wish to kill the infidels, communists and communist-infidels

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you kill the infidels, communists and communist-infidels, but you forgot the infidel-communists, who, while not being many in number, are very fast breeders and in no time flat, while you are not looking because you have killed the infidels, communists and communist-infidels and are feeling very omnipotent, they take over Raptor1Land and keep you tied up in the basement in the dark like a mushroom

I wish Raptor1 had thought more about the infidel-communists

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but he thought so hard that his brain burst out of his ears.

I wish brain surgeons had more patience.

[Raptor1]

Granted, just enough to let you die from your illness before operating

I wish brain surgeons weren't so cruel

[Task Force]

Granted, because it dosent exist.

I wish there was a machine time machine.

[Raptor1]

Granted, because it dosent exist.

I wish there was a machine time machine.

That made even less sense than most of my posts

[Jimbuna]

Granted, just enough to let you die from your illness before operating

I wish brain surgeons weren't so cruel

Granted, now they are absolutely wicked instead.

I wish Task Force would purchase a mic for TS before the two week allowance period expires.

[TarJak]

Granted, but it is one of the special Star Wars mikes that makes him sound like Chewbacca and no one but Han Solo can understand him

I wish flys would stay out of the ointment

[Koondawg]

Granted flys stay out of the ointment...but the ointment you used attracks mosquitoes...you get the west nile virus and succumb to a blood sucking fest which leads to your death....



I wish kittens didn't have such sharp f'n claws...

KD

[rifleman13]

Granted, but it grows back in a few days, ready to maul you again...

I wish tires cannot be punctured while still being made of rubber and the usual stuff...:arrgh!:

[Raptor1]

Granted, they can't be punctured as they don't have air inside anymore

I wish cars had treads instead of wheels

[Task Force]

granted, but they break down every day.:yep:

I wish for world domination. (or atleast quality control):lol:

[Raptor1]

Granted, world domination under my iron-fisted rule

I wish TF is happy with the tyranny he brought on the world

[rifleman13]

Granted, Task Force is happy with current regime but I'm waging a guerrilla war in Raptor1's frontier borders.

I wish Raptor1's capital is undefended so I could take it! :arrgh!:

[Task Force]

Undifended, but is surouned by a giant canyon that you cant get accrost.

I wish Rifleman had a helocoptor to get accrost the canyon.

[Raptor1]

Granted (Even though it's Helicopter, but e/w), but he can only transport 4 people across and they are quickly seized by the imperial guard and shot to death without trial (The Helicopter is put in a museum)

I wish this silly revolt would stop trying to oppose me

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, this silly revolt stops trying to oppose you and starts to support you, but since they are a silly revolt, they do so by dressing up as clowns or as Michael Jackson and campaign for you on a platform of free cotton candy and questionable pictures of monkeys for all causing a non-silly revolt in Raptor1land which succeeds and overthrows your silly revolt tyrrany

I wish Raptor1 had thought about the ramifications

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but he relied on someone elses interpretation because his brain is defective.

I wish someone would blow your mind.

[Raptor1]

Granted, it is you, and when the coppers find out that you were mass-murdering people, they send you away to Gulagland for the rest of your life

I wish a wish that wishes something or other

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but seeing as you don't get something you have to make do with the other.

I wish my neighbours dog (German Shepherd....all hair and teeth) would bite the bitch who sits opposite me at work.

[Biggles]

Granted but now you have to do her work too while she's in hospital.


I wish I was somebody...

[Raptor1]

Granted, you are somebody, just not somebody that anyone ever hears about

I wish I knew if Biggles was a communist spy

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you now know whether Biggles is a communist spy, but since you now know, he has to kill you

I wish this guy :smug: wasn't so smug

[Biggles]

Granted, he now pukes up on your keyboard (YOU try finding something better to say!)



I wish that the man I just killed was a capitalist spy....


(BTW, Raptor1, I lol'd at your wish:lol: )

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but a flock of Conservative Capitalists flock to you and beat the **** out of your body.

I wish that I could live in Soviet Russia.:lol:

[Biggles]

Granted, but in Soviet Russia, chicken eats you!:arrgh!:

I wish I was 18.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but you're a woman.

I wish that the chicken did not eat me.

[TarJak]

Granted but it decides to make you its sex slave and smothers you with kisses from it's rubbery chicken lips

I wish that image would leave my head

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, that image leaves your head and invades Stealth Hunters and mulitplies itself to infinity like a person looking into his reflection in a mirror with a mirror behind him

I wish infinity would last longer

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but it eventually reaches a finite point.

I wish that you would never find the antidote.

[Raptor1]

Granted, he finds the cure instead

I wish he never would've found the cure

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but you both die, because you never found the cure/antidote either.

I wish that I could open a time paradox whenever I wished.

[Koondawg]

Granted you open a time paradox whenever you want but it stills places you on the crapper...you realize your crapping yourslef to death...

I wish kittens were born without claws....

KD

[TarJak]

Granted, they are born with long needle sharp teeth and glass paper pads on their paws

I wish Chester W. Nimitz could remember the address of the Allies forum

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but Nimitz is dead, so it doesn't really matter.

I wish I had my very own u-boat complete with crew and torpedoes and ammunition and supplies.

[Raptor1]

Granted, it's 1944 and you set sail for the English Channel!

I wish I wasn't dead :cry:

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but you're a zombie!!!

[Jimbuna]

http://img355.imageshack.us/img355/821/discozombievs0.gif

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but you're a zombie!!!

I wish the walking dead would lie down and sleep.

[rifleman13]

Granted, in YOUR backyard!

I wish I could stop my hiccups.

[NealT]

Granted they stop when you die in JB's back yard.

I wish the elections took 3 days.

[kranz]

granted, they take 3 days but it does not change the fact that you are deprived of voting right.

I wish that old vet would win.

[NealT]

Your wish is granted - NOT

I wish elections were last week instead of tomorrow....

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, the elections were last week, but since the vote ended in a tie and Congress and the Senate cannot decide who should be President and Vice President (respectively), Nancy Pelosi becomes President and immediately declares herself the supreme Monarch of the USA and abolishes the Constitution

I wish my candidate (Howdy Doody) had won instead.

[TarJak]

Granted, his first act as President is to annex your place as a puppet state

I wish puppets could run the country without pulling strings

[rifleman13]

Granted, it is the puppet masters who do the string-pulling...

I wish TarJak could get his act together... :arrgh!:

[Koondawg]

Granted TJ gets his act together, but it comes to late in the play....ACT VI and being a musical most people wont see it because they have fallen alseep...

I wish Plays weren't so boring and have so many acts....


KD

[NealT]

Granted, the next play you attend shall consist of only 1 Act - 6 minutes long...replayed 100 times over.

I wish today were Wednesday.

[Raptor1]

Granted, the end of the world comes on Friday, so we have even less time to spend the rest of our lives

I wish the end wasn't so near

[Jimbuna]

Granted, it's now far far away.

I wish wisdom was hereditary.

[kranz]

Granted, your kids say that 2+2=5

I wish Jimbuna stopped using phrase "fair and square" when it comes to L.H

[Raptor1]

Granted, he uses the phrase "death to the infidels" instead

I wish communists were more combustible

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, communists are more combustible, with the uninteded side effect of causing all news broadcasters, artists, teachers and actors to burst into flames all at once leaving us nothing to watch on TV or in the theaters and no one to teach us how to not call each other bad names before we even know what those names mean and leaving us all bored to death (literally)

I wish being bored was more fun (and healthy)

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but only if you manage to keep your trousers on and escape the 'borer'.

I wish square pegs would fit round holes.

[TarJak]

Granted, the fat bitch that sits opposite you is now inserting a large square peg into one of your round holes

I wish Jims round hole was well lubricated

[kranz]

Granted, the hole was well lubricated but the lubricant was out-of-date

I wish there was no good lubricant close at hand

[Jimbuna]

Granted, margerine will have to do.

I wish the mackums no luck at all.

[NealT]

Granted, Mackums have no luck at all, and by the way, you find out you were adopted and your birth mother's last name was Mackum.

I wish the network stations would have a massive, widespread power outtage...lasting exactly 12.2 hours.

[Koondawg]

Granted the network stations have a massive, widespread power outtage...lasting exactly 12.2 hours. During this outage however there is wide spread flood, tornados, fires, famine...had the networks been on you would have been able to tune in in your area for details....however you perish do to lack of knowledge....

I wish lack of knowledge was a good thing sometimes...

KD

[TarJak]

Granted, lack of knowledge is a good thing sometimes but ignorance is bliss and you are now the most blissful person in the world

I wish the candidates good luck

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but John McCain loses the election and dies.

I wish Obama's grandmother didn't die.:cry:

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, his grandmother doesn't die, but he loses the election because of the loss of symapthy votes

I wish people knew when to leave well enough alone

[Jimbuna]

Granted, they now pester well enoughs sister instead.

I wish the US election had of been a tie/draw.

[rifleman13]

Granted, in its aftermath would spark a Second Civil War...

I wish I hadn't spent money this day...

[Jimbuna]

Granted, you are destitute so you couldn't have anyway.

I wish, I wish, my kingdom for a horse.

[Koondawg]

Granted you get your horse for a kingdom...although this horse comes in the way of a Trojan Horse...your high tech super cooled computer melts down causing a fire on the otherside of the pond equivelant to the subsim fire in Tx...We're Doomed I tell ya....


I wish Jimbo has fire insurance that's up-to-date...

KD

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, Jimbo has fire insurance that's up-to-date, but the up-to date was the day before the fire

I wish that bat guano wasn't such an environmental hazard

[Raptor1]

Granted, but as a result it is also completely useless in making gunpowder

I wish gunpowder didn't require saltpeter or anything else to make

[NealT]

Granted, it doesn't...but then again it doesn't work either...

I wish Subsim had some more smilies to add to our messages...:lurk: :lost: :help: :gulp: :/\\chop :/\\!! :/\\x: :fff: :ahoy: :/\\k: :-j :()1:

[Jimbuna]

Granted, and seeing as how jimbuna owns the copyright to all the good ones....he makes a fortune.

I wish that last granted wish became true.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but he is payed with the Subsim Dollar, which unfortunately is worth about as much as the 1923 German Papiermark

I wish the Subsim Dollar was worth more

[Task Force]

Granted, but only 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 0001% more.:yep:

I wish for jimbuna to give us real money.:cool:

[TarJak]

Granted, Jimbuna gives you 1 Icelandic Krona each. In total that would cost him about a fiver

I wish I could get more value for money

[NealT]

Granted you can, but not in this lifetime.

I wish lifetime was a man's channel.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, Lifetime is now a man's channel, but you are now a woman

I wish NealT hadn't made me crush that wish that way

[Koondawg]

Granted he stood over you and whipped you into sumbmission making you take the crushed wish back, which in turn falls on the next person...
So lifetime is a mans channel although Neal goes blind and deaf in a freak cooking accident and cant watch or hear it...

I wish I hadn't had to recrush a wish....


KD

[rifleman13]

Granted, now the wish crushes you into a pulp!

I wish it rained US$100 bills instead of water droplets...

[TarJak]

Granted, and they are all counterfeit so spend up big fella

I wish business was better

[Raptor1]

Granted, for the moon people, exporting their precious mined cheese

I wish we could mine cheese in mines as well (And not landmines, either!)

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, we can mine cheese in mines as well (And not landmines, either!), cheese is now mined in naval mines (no, naval, not navel)

I wish I had a scuba suit so I could mine some cheese

[NealT]

Granted but now you are missing your air tanks and with your heavy weightbelt, you sink to the bottom of the ocean never to be seen again.

I wish someone would forget how to crush wishes.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but not your wishes

I wish my counterfeit money was real money

[TarJak]

Granted, Its really real counterfeit money

I wish Joe had covered the beaches

[Raptor1]

Granted, he covered them with 3 Italian factors

I wish the Italians would just surrender seeing as they don't have anywhere to retreat to

[Koondawg]

Granted the Italians just surrender seeing as they don't have anywhere to retreat to...except a sub...now it's called an Italian Sub...with Mayo

You buy one,choking, because you bit off more than you can chew. The fat lady sitting across from Jimbo once again saves a life by hurling her 390# body across your torso to get the bit of sandwich, you savored so much, to dis-lodge from your throat...your crushed like your dream into a pool of mush...although while dis-lodging the bite of sandwich, which in turn hurls into the air, a dog from the sidelines jumps into the air swallowing the chuck of food which hours later he craps onto the floor...which causes four peoples death from slipping and falling....


I wish he had ordered chips with that meal....



KD

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, he ordered chips with that last meal, but they were Buffalo chips 'causing even more slipping and falling and dying and stinking and brown mess for the janitor (insert favorite subsimmer's name here) to clean up

I wish I could stop laughing at the image created by Koondawg's crush:rotfl:

[Jimbuna]

Granted, you now start crying uncontrollably.

I wish cannibals had better taste.

[TarJak]

Granted, they taste you with BBQ sauce

I wish the Axis would give up

[rifleman13]

Granted, they already did! And you have been tasked to hunt down for them using a nail and a paperclip...

I wish guns never jammed.

[Task Force]

Granted, now they dont work at all.

I wish that Time would wait for me (when I want it to)

[TarJak]

Granted, but whilst you are waiting history repeats and we all die horribly in the vacuum of space

I wish cream drushing was as gratifying as dream crushing

[Task Force]

Granted now everytime you crush a dream you will step in a jiant ball of cream. (best I could do now)

I wish I was better at crushing dreams.

[NealT]

I hate to tell you this, but you will never get better at it...in fact you will get worse.

I wish I had some lemon bars to eat tonight...

[Koondawg]

Granted you get your lemon bars...but they come in the form of 6x12 planks with lemon pledge on em....the splinters alone kill you....although you crap out a small birdhouse before you die....:up:

I wish small birdhouses were actually condos...for multiple families


KD

[TarJak]

Granted, and as the protagonist for this movement you get to move your family into the first one and find that your sofa just won't fit through the hole in the front.

I wish I had a flame thrower

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but your aim is bad and you incinerate the family pet, mistaking it for Task Force.

I wish conundrums were explicit.

[Koondawg]

Granted conundrums are explicit...however they change the spelling to c-o-n-d-u-m-s...people rejoice and clowns start making balloon animals from them...


I wish insurgents glowed green in the dark...

[Raptor1]

Granted, they also irradiate anywhere they go to and are now known as Radiation Zombie Insurgents, only effective weapon against them is Radioactive Exploding Zombie Cows

I wish I had some Radioactive Exploding Zombie Cows

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you have some Radioactive Exploding Zombie Cows, but they were ground up in that last Whopper that you ate and you now have Radioactive Exploding Zombie diarrhea

I wish not to be the person that has to clean up after Raptor1

[Task Force]

Granted, now you have to clean public bathrooms, with a tooth brush.

I wish that there were no Radioactive zombies.

[Raptor1]

Granted, they are all replaced by normal Zombies in the next Zombie apocalypse

I wish the Axis didn't have those infernal 4o6s

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, now you have to clean public bathrooms, with a tooth brush.

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:No crush there, already had to do that in boot camp:D

[Task Force]

:rotfl: Get going thoes toilets need a good scrubing.:rotfl:

[Koondawg]

Granted the axis now has the dreaded 411 posi...making their cars hook up on nailing the throttle...resulting in a crash through the crowd on rapid accelleration and maming 35 spectators...you were one of them

I wish TF and DT had wished a wish...and now would inherit an IQ of 127


KD

[NealT]

Granted, they inherit an IQ of 127 above you, which gives them an IQ of exactly 50 once you add them together.

I wish this game were not so addicting...

[Jimbuna]

Granted, you now fall asleep out of boredom, are late for work tomorrow and lose your job.

I wish Dangermouse wasn't so friendly.

[NealT]

Granted he isn't...it is just a ruse to lull you into a false sense of security while he steals your cheese.

I wish I had overslept this morning so I would be late for work and lose my job.

[kranz]

Granted, you lost the job but your superior decided to give you a second chance.

I wish we would go on that "alcohol trip" in two weeks

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but the alcohol is that 'polish gut rot' that makes you violently sick.

I wish my suspicions were well founded.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, your suspicions are well founded, they are well founded in the concrete of the foundation that your feet are also founded in and it will be a hundred years before your skeleton is also founded by the lady on "Bones" who has to spend an hour figuring out how you got founded in your suspicious foundation

I wish this game would continue until we find the forum limit on thread posts

[Raptor1]

Granted, your drink WAS poisoned

EDIT: Gah

Granted, the game continues until the unforseen limit of SQL databases causes it to crash and destroys the internet as well

I wish Jimbuna would get to the hospital right away

[Jimbuna]

Granted, jimbuna becomes the first person to travel beyond the speed of light.

I wish I knew who Dr Who was.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but because you know his secret identity as a mob boss, you are fitted with cement shoes and thrown in the river

I wish Jimbuna stopped messing with the mob

[NealT]

Granted, he did after he was thrown into the river with cement overshoes on...but you still do not get to take on his post count.

I wish dreams were not so easily crushed.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, dreams are not so easily crushed, they are ridiculously easily crushed

I wish a wish that smells like a fish and tastes like a knish on a dish at the home of a girl named Tish

[TarJak]

Granted and Dr. Seuss decides to sue you for copyright on that wish

I wish I could resist wish crushing for more than a day

[rifleman13]

Granted! Now your computer will detonate in 5 seconds...:arrgh!:

I wish there are two internets... :lol:

[NealT]

Granted, there are actually three, but when you go to try and see what is on them, 'ACCESS DENIED'.

I wish wishing wasn't so wishy-washy.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, wishing isn't so wishy-washy, it's now washy-wishy-mushy-squishy-fishy

I wish this wish wasn't really a wish, but a concealed explosive device so that whomsoever crusheth it be bloweth to itty-bitty-bits

[Jimbuna]

Granted, it's now willy nilly.

I wish I could beat the unbeatable foe.

[ubootcomrade]

Granted, its the dreaded mob boss doctor who and despite beating him, he goes back in time to stop you from beating im and it causes a time paradox where mutant daleks with kilts do naughty thinsg to you while the universe implodes and ever...eh?


I wish I could Understand doctor who storylines.

[NealT]

You do, but then you are declared insane and put away in an iron mask forever in a french dungeon...

I wish for a wish that was a wish which wished for neverending stories...

[rifleman13]

Granted, you are locked in a room full of 4-5 yr old kids and you are forced to read them fairy tales forever and ever... the end...

I wish baloons filled with hydrogen didn't explode...

[Raptor1]

Granted, they now release deadly mustard gas into the air around them instead

I wish mustard gas wasn't deadly

(Even though it isn't too deadly in reality)

[Koondawg]

Granted mustard gas isnt deadly, although when sprayed with it you become swamped with people hitting you with buns and weenies...(take that the weay you like) and get beat down to a red headed step child...

I wish Karma wasnt so deadly....


KD

[TarJak]

Granted, it is now 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 001% less deadly

I wish the numbers would add up

[rifleman13]

Granted, it would result in your death...

I wish there was a politics-free day...

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but it is now replaced by a fairy tale day.

I wish the Joker wasn't funny.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, the Joker isn't funny, he's hilarious, so hilarious that he makes us all laugh so hard we wet ourselves :oops:

I wish I'd worn my Depends for that last crush

[Raptor1]

Granted, but everyone still laughs at you when you put them on

I wish I knew how one says "Nicht Landen" in French

[Koondawg]

Granted your wish I knew how one says "Nicht Landen" in French is granted...although Chuck Norris doesn't like French and he kicks you with a roundhouse giving you the abilty to now speak swahili...

I wish for the next 100 wishes to be broken by a Chuck Norris act...:D

KD

[NealT]

Granted, but that means you are not going to be the wealthy billionaire you were going to be...because the next 100 wishes were going to be just that...sorry.

I wish my brother weren't so stupid with his health...

[TarJak]

Granted, he's now smarter with his health but far dumber with his wealth

I wish I had more cheese

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but the mouse in your house is so envious, it attacks you in the middle of the night whilst your sleeping and gnaws its way into your brain and taking control of your physical actions.

I wish it didn't mean a man is a mouse just because he eats cheese.

[Raptor1]

Granted, it means a man that eats cheese is a Frenchman now

I wish I could eat cheese without becoming French

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, now, when you eat cheese, you become a Green Bay Packers fan complete with the "cheese head" foam hat

I wish Cheetos were good for your health

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but bad for your breath.

I wish all financial monopolies were commonplace.

[NealT]

Granted, but since they are commonplace, a 'special person' such as yourself does not have access to, nor can they reap the benefits of them. Sorry...

I wish there were someone around with excellent graphic talents.

[rifleman13]

Granted, there are somewhere around these forums, but you're too blind to see them.

I wish could get around to what I'm doing.

[bookworm_020]

Granted, you get around to doing it, but find it's more work than you want, so you give up.

I wish someone else could do my work

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but since that's the job of a maid, you have to pay them $100 bucks for every service.

I wish that I had The Venture Brothers DVD collection.

[TarJak]

Granted, and lucky you got the HD DVD version so there are no players available for playing them

I wish I had some Singapore Chilli Crab for dinner

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but the bugga nips your tongue whilst your eating it.

I wish my sun would shine.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, your sun is now shining, but it only shines where the sun used to not shine causing extreme discomfort and charring in the rectal area

I wish the mother of all bombs wasn't such a mother

[bookworm_020]

Granted, the mother all bombs explodes, taking out father of all bombs!

I wish it was the weekend

[NealT]

It is, for me...but you still have 3 days left to do and then you have to work both of your days off without pay.

I wish it were not a full moon tonight...

[Jimbuna]

Granted, it is only half a moon tonight....therefore all werewolves get a night off.

I wish I understood the meaning of misunderstanding.

[Raptor1]

Granted, now you understand why you do not understand

I wish the paradox could be solved with a good deal of bloodshed

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but the blood is that of a sheep and is therefore not that important.

I wish too many cooks didn't spoil the broth.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, too many cooks don't spoil the broth, they now spoil the brothel causing a massive uprising in the class of male inhabitant that cannot get female companionship without paying for it and ruining the tax base of the State of Nevada so that it goes backrupt and causes yet another government bail-out (this one proposed by Bill Clinton)

I wish life had an instruction manual

[MothBalls]

Granted, you get the instruction manual. You find out is was written in Atlantis 25,000 years ago and you can't understand a word of it. After spending years translating it you find it's actually a long winded discussion of the truth behind the words, Life's a Bitch, then you die.

I wish I had an endless beer fountain.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but it's alcohol free beer.

I wish my fountain was a sherbit one.

[TarJak]

Granted, your fountain now spouts sherbert when ever you do number ones.

I wish peoples idiosyncrasies were not used against them

[Jimbuna]

Granted, especially when the source has a block of cheese for a brain.

I wish I don't fall for that one again.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but you do for another one.

I wish that I could revive the dead.

[TarJak]

Granted, but now you have to live with Zombies who want to drain your life

I wish allegories were more substantial

[Raptor1]

Granted, like...alligators

I wish Alligators were less substantial

[Koondawg]

Granted alligators are less substantial...but that doesn't change their feeding habits....now were back to the alligator infested swamp backing up into your casa...everything from your nuts down are now alligator food...

I wish Raptor had called Chuck Norris to come and kick the alligators asses...they would have eaten themselve's knowing it would have been less painfull than having an ass whoooping by Chucky

KD

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but Norris loses his left testicle, creating a new planet 3 times the size of Jupiter.

I wish that I was magic.

[Graf Paper]

Granted. You're now a geeky kid with a scar on his forehead who is mercilessly pursued by a quasi-immortal, megalomaniacal dark wizard bent on your utter destruction.

I wish I had 5 quarts of chocolate pudding. *DROOL*

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you have five quarts of chocolate pudding drool, although I have no idea what you'd want with five quarts of drool caused by staring at chocolate pudding

I wish I could do this:rotfl: without hurting myself

[Task Force]

Granted, now you started and cant stop.

I wish for Digital Trucker`s wishes would turn to fishes.

[TarJak]

Granted, his wishes are fishes and you get to do the dishes

I wish rhyming wishes were worth extra points

[kranz]

Granted, there are extra points for them but since your rhyme sucks hard you get -1 point.

I wish neat "wish crushing" was worth extra points.

[NealT]

It was until two days ago so you just missed out.

I wish it weren't so dark outside this morning as I get ready for work...

[Raptor1]

Granted, it is now incredibly bright as the police searchlights illuminate the place searching for...YOU!

I wish the police wouldn't find you

[Jimbuna]

Granted, they don't find you but they find him instead.

I wish I knew who the suprise was for.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you now know who the surprise is for, but forget what the surprise is and it really bothers you because you now know that the surprise if for you and it drives you bonkers enough that you start singing "They're coming to take me away, haha" incessantly for the remainder of your life

I wish my fishes would become wishes

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but they're all crushed.

I wish for money.

[rifleman13]

Granted, it's inside an Indiana Jones-type temple filled with traps and suprises.
Now go get it!

I wish I had Indiana Jones' job...

[MothBalls]

Granted. You now have the job that Indiana Subman1 Jones does in the uS, you clean portable bathrooms witha fish net and a spoon.

I wish there was no more spam.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, there is no more spam, there is now only spamaghetti (Italian spam) and your inbox is totally slammed with it

I wish MothBalls had some spamaghetti sauce to go with his inbox

[TarJak]

Granted, but he sets up an auto reroute and deletion of the spamaghetti and sends it all to you

I wish Spamalot was about junk e-mail

[1480]

Granted, but Michael Palin hasn't found a way to travel to the internet.

I wish the Blackhawks would win the Stanley Cup.

[TarJak]

Granted, but their rotors keep getting in the way when they try to take the team photo

I wish that crush made more sense

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but it s 'non'sense.

I wish I could make my mind up.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you make your mind up to look like a hooker in Shanghai

I hope Jimbo's mind doesn't have unprotected thought

[Raptor1]

Granted, Jimbuna's mind is protected by sandbags, 2-meter wide reinforced concrete bunkers, .50-cal machine guns and artillery support, NOTHING WILL GET THROUGH!

I wish all that defense was enough

[Task Force]

Granted its enough to keep everything out, except me. (dont think I want to go anyway)

I wish I didnt have to go into jimbunas mind.

[MothBalls]

Granted its enough to keep everything out, except me. (dont think I want to go anyway)

I wish I didnt have to go into jimbunas mind.

Granted, you don't enter his mind. You enter the other end instead.

I wish I didn't just picture that.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you didn't just picture that, you DID IT:p

I wish Jimbo didn't have so many people going up his bum

[Jimbuna]

Granted, jimbuna (the poor bugga) is felled by a serious case of diahorrea and everyone reverts to your rear end to watch you undergo a humorous bout of colonic irrigation.

I wish it was simply a case of....'Alimentary my dear DT'.

[NealT]

Granted, it wasn't, it was real.

I wish this thread would take a different turn.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, it takes a left turn straight through your sitting room window.

I wish abnormality was normal.

[Task Force]

Granted but thats not good.

I wish for the mail system to speed up.

[MothBalls]

Granted but thats not good.

I wish for the mail system to speed up.

Granted. All your mailbox are belong to us. You receive 25 ton of junk mail in 24 hours.

I wish I had a Mothers iced raisin cookie.

[Task Force]

Granted but thats not good.

I wish for the mail system to speed up.

Granted. All your mailbox are belong to us. You receive 25 ton of junk mail in 24 hours.

I wish I had a Mothers iced raisin cookie.

:rotfl: dream not crushed, we already get that.:rotfl:

[MothBalls]

Granted but thats not good.

I wish for the mail system to speed up.

Granted. All your mailbox are belong to us. You receive 25 ton of junk mail in 24 hours.

I wish I had a Mothers iced raisin cookie.

:rotfl: dream not crushed, we already get that.:rotfl:

Revision granted. All mail vehicles increase their speed by 25%. You get hit and crushed by a speeding mail truck.

Now, I want my dam Mothers iced raisin cookie

[Task Force]

Granted, there YOUR mothers iced raisin cookie and she gets mad. You stole your mothers cookies.

I wish your mother would not get so angry.

[rifleman13]

Granted, she is now angrier than ever!

I wish for a slice of pizza right now...

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you have a piece of pizza at the time you wished it, but since it is 48 minutes later, someone has stolen that piece of pizza and left you with a stinky rotting lumpy runny chunk of Limberger cheese instead

I wish to know who stole the pizza from Rifleman13

[TarJak]

Granted, but as it was you you knew that already

I wish getting Lae was easier

[nikimcbee]

Granted, but as it was you you knew that already

I wish getting Lae was easier

Granted, but jimbuna already is pretty easy.:o

I wish I didn't notice trends.
http://steelturman.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2007/09/14/peter_sellers_inspector_clouseau_pi.jpg

[bookworm_020]

Granted, but when you get a lae, you find out that it's a cheap plastic chinese made knock off that you could have got from a two dollar store.

I wish I was getting more hoildays over Christmas....

[TarJak]

@nikimcbee: Granted you stiopped noticing trends and start following the trends
@bookworm_020: Granted, you've been enlisted in the Royal Australian Navy and get this Christmas off but in January are sent to patrol Antarctica



I wish this thread was congruent

[Raptor1]

Granted, but it does so without all the bloody violence of a unification war

I wish we had a unification war

[bookworm_020]

Granted, we unite against Raptor1! :/\\chop

I wish I could stop the film "Australia" from being watched!

[TarJak]

Now that's a wish that's hard to crush!

I wish the film Australia was never made

[1480]

Granted, but Wolverine aka Hugh Jackman has his shirt off for 7:45 minutes of the movie and we cannot be denied this! :up:

I wish my hair wasn't going gray....

[rifleman13]

Granted, now someone dumped a bucket of green paint all over your head.

I wish this smiley pirate :arrgh!: doesn't look too creepy...

[Graf Paper]

Granted. Out of concern for a "kinder, gentler" Subsim Radioroom, Neal decides to adopt a Care Bears™ smilies theme with a new "sunshine on flowers" color scheme.

I wish I knew why the heck I was still up at this hour reading this thread.

[Raptor1]

Granted, now you know it's irresistable and you will forever be up late

I wish those damned German 5o6s would get out of the way

[Koondawg]

Granted those damn German 5o6s get out of the way but you had to call in Chuck Norris...once they saw him coming they shot themselves...because it was less painfull than taking an ass whooping by CN...

I wish Chuck Norris would cry...I hear his tears cure cancer


KD

[Graf Paper]

Granted. Knowing you're the one who made him cry, Mr. Norris acquaints you with the world's most common cause of tears...PAIN*... from a roundhouse kick so fast that it hit you before his foot left the ground..

I wish I had gone back to bed instead of staying up to read this thread.









*Note: "pain" and Chuck Norris are considered synonymous.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but then you couldn't crush that wish, therefore becoming dishonored and having to commit Seppuku

I wish rivers weren't so hard to cross when there are armored divisions on the other side

[NealT]

They aren't, for Superman...

I wish wishes cost people money...

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, your wish just paid for the economic bailout plan three times over

I wish I had enough money to pay for my wish

[1480]

Granted, but they do not make wooden nickles anymore.

I wish it didn't hurt when I pee.

[Raptor1]

Granted, now it burns (quite literally)

I wish for 100 more pages

[Koondawg]

Granted you get 1oo more pages...although they are from the IRS, and guess who delivers them...that's right Chuck himself...
You recieve the pages tied to his foot and delivered with a round house kick to the head thus imbedding the pages in your brain forever...

I wish I the keyboard would connect to the brain, then typing would be obsolete


KD

[Raptor1]

Granted, you connect your Keyboard USB or PS/2 plug into your brain, I don't think it helps much though

I wish the brain had a USB port

[TarJak]

Granted but you waste yours on plugging in a USB LED lit mousepad

I wish the Japanese fleet had less eNAS

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, the Japanese fleet has less eNAS, but the wish granter thought the word started with a P and now the entire emasculated Japanese fleet is dancing around singing the sound track to "Westside Story" and "The Sound of Music" causing mass hysteria around the globe

I wish this guy didn't drink so much coffee:rock:

[Raptor1]

Granted, he drunk that much gasoline

I wish that guy was also one of them fire-swallowing guys (while I was at a safe distance from which I could still watch)

[Koondawg]

Granted your wish that that guy was also one of them fire-swallowing guys (while I was at a safe distance from which I could still watch)...although you didn't count on the methane gas from his fart whilst holding his breath in..which ignites like a flame thrower thus incinerating all the people who thought they were safe standing behind him...you now look like a burnt matchstick


I wish fire breathers didn't fart

KD

[Graf Paper]

Granted. But holding in all that gas causes them to explode like the Hindenburg, raining burning bits of former fire-breather upon your head because "safe-distance" for a bomb is a lot farther away than where you were standing for the show. :/\\x:

I wish I had a tech-slave to install and merge all my GWX mods for me.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but as you know, slavery was abolished years ago in the civilized world, and when the police finds out about it, they're not going to be happy

I wish Graf Paper wasn't such a cruel slavemaster

[TarJak]

Granted, he's a much crueller wish crusher

I wish that you would kapish

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, Raptor1 kapishes, but since he now kapishes he has the knowledge necessary to attain a tactical overthrow of TarJakistan and you are enslaved in a moldy, dingy, dusty dungeon, shackled to the ceiling hanging inches off of the floor covered with mangy rodents intent on nibbling your toes off

I wish I could make money crushing wishes

[MothBalls]

Granted. You are now compensated $15.50 for each wish crushed. The new wish crusher tax, combined with the share the wealth tax, costs you $17.44. You lose $1.94 for every wish you crush.

I wish I didn't have to pay taxes.

[Raptor1]

Granted, you now live in a uninhabited ('cept for you) South Pacific Island where the Tax people will never find you

I wish I knew why I had to overthrow TarJak's government (He's supposed to be my ally...)

[Tango589]

Granted. You are now compensated $15.50 for each wish crushed. The new wish crusher tax, combined with the share the wealth tax, costs you $17.44. You lose $1.94 for every wish you crush.

I wish I didn't have to pay taxes.

Granted, you don't pay any taxes but are banged up In DT's dungeon for tax avoidance.

I wish it was 5 o'clock somewhere.

[TarJak]

@Raptor1 Granted, You now understand that it was part of a counter-revolutionary plot to overthrow the leadership of Raptorland

@Tango589 Granted, it is but never where you are

I wish strategies would write themselves

[Raptor1]

Granted, but those strategies send copies to the enemy

I wish strategies weren't so trecherous

[Jimbuna]

Granted, they are now simply...devious.

I wish the prognosis was a diagnosis.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, the prognosis is now a diagnosis, but since "pro" and "dia" are now interchanged, the biatch across the desk from you doesn't know what a prophram is and become pregnant with octuplets which she has to bring to work with her due to lack of a nanny, causing you to spend your days smelling stinky propers on your desk

I wish this guy would quit holding his breath:nope:

[NealT]

He stops, and exhales a poopy diaper right into your face.

I wish I weren't so nasty at times...

[Jimbuna]

Granty, now you are 'so' stupid. :lol:

I wish I knew what I was thinking.