Game: Crush Each Other's Dreams

[STEED]

Granted but your the star of the hottest porn film in years.

I wish sales of the film rocket so we can have a bigger sex orgy.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but as it gains popularity it is banned universally and you are forced to live on the streets

I wish evil manifested itself in something that doesn't have "Microsoft" on it

[Jimbuna]

Granted, it now manifests itself in McDonalds.

I wish STEED would come out of the closet and be honest with people.

[ubootcomrade]

Granted, he already said that he ccame out of the closet..remember him and Tony Blairs marraige 200-300 posts back?

I wish I didnt get drunk at their wedding.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you don't get drunk at their wedding, you get drunk at their honeymoon instead while you are making a film of the whole thing

I wish that I never have to watch that film

[Randomizer]

Granted, instead it is implanted into your brain where the images come to dominate your existance.

I wish I had a Acme Super Planet-Eating Black Hole Generator (Patent Pending).

[ubootcomrade]

Granted, but it doesnt work.

I wish spys would stop sappin' ma sentry.

[Mush Martin]

Granted they take out your palace guard to a man today for a change
facilitating the complete subjugation of Ubootecomradeland by the
Martinite's.


I wish there were a rival for My Golden Horde

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, there is a rival to your Golden Horde. It is the Golden Shower and it's raining on MushyLand now.

I wish not to be in MushyLand while the Golden Shower is raining on it.

[ubootcomrade]

Granted, you are now in Ubootcomradeland, just in time for national "shoot the strangers" day.

I wish for the glorious airforce of Ubootcomradeland to be equipped with Zeppelin-dreadnoughts to take part in the soon-to-be invasion of mushyland.

[Mush Martin]

Granted but of course in waiting for you in mushy land is the still
dry Golden Horde in their standard gear wich is proofed against
ice picks razors knives bullets artillery bombs fire thermite thermate
direct Gazzillion Terraton direct nuclear hits Anti matter bombs
photon torpedos Space Rotation bombs nova supernovae Gamma ray
bursters Black holes super black holes mega ultra black galaxy strings
and Galactus also impervious Thunderbolts of thor odin or zeus
and to Irs audits spells from any nether world
or parrallel dimension contains a camelback for hot or cold drinks
and is resistant to coffee stains.

Interestingly the component matter of Goldenshowers is our primary
anti zepplinDreadnaught missille fuel.


I wish to be at a distance from the expected rain of zepplin dreadnaughts
the weather man forecast for this evening.

M

[Randomizer]

Granted but your hydrogen filled Zeppelin-Dreadnaughts are no match for Mushyland's deadly super-sailplanes firing Zeppelin-B-Gone explosive bullets. Sadly, the burning wrecks fall upon the yellow snow of Mushyland and your dreams of conquest go up in urine smelling smoke.

D'oh, too slow...

I wish to be at a distance from the expected rain of zepplin dreadnaughts
the weather man forecast for this evening.
Granted, instead you are under a hail of lead balloons launched at taxpayer expense to observe the attack of the Zeppelin-Dreadnaughts.

I wish the only thing to fear was the U-Boat peril.

[UnderseaLcpl]

I wish the only thing to fear was the U-Boat peril.

Granted. You shall fear Kapitanleutnant Balz with 10,000,000,000 tons to his credit

The allies are finished.....


I wish I could have a taller (U-boat) periscope ( you perverts) installed to fly my multitudinous victory penants, like KptLt. Balz does.
I also wish that it would never have the lenses taped-over.

[Task Force]

Granted your parascope is so tall it breaks in the wind.

I wish for a taskforce land.It would be under my controal ofcourse.:D

[Raptor1]

Granted, the DDs spot the now taller periscope with no problem and work extra hard to remove it and you from existance, there's no need to crush the 2nd wish

EDIT: ARRRGH

Granted, it's a province of the Great Raptorland Empire, you are the person that runs the province

I wish I had a sub capable of crossing the Gobi desert completely submerged

[Randomizer]

Granted but it is eaten by a giant underground dwelling sandworm and you are excreted as a hallucinogenic spice-like dung. You subsequently become the subject of a reasonably good book and totally awful movie.

I wish someone else could lose the war in an afternoon.

[Mush Martin]

Granted you now go by your alter ego labelmaker and lose
again the next afternoon.

I wish to offer Randomizer land and all its armies to ubootecomrade
land as a peace offering.

[TarJak]

Granted, but the offer is refused as they have not interest in a flea infested rug from a dog basket.

I wish Randomizer land was bigger than a flea infested dog blanket

[NealT]

Granted, but who cares?

I wish my stupid dogs would shut up.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, it is now large enough to include a pillow so he rest his weary flea infested head.

I wish nothing was painstakingly obvious.

[Raptor1]

Granted, it's not so painstaikgly obvious that NealT wants his stupid dogs to only shut up and he ends up murdering them instead

I wish to wish a wish that will wish this wish, that is my wish

[Mush Martin]

Request Denied cleverboy heres a rock bass.

I wish all of your wishes will come true for you.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but they become true for 'me' instead.

I wish the SS Meet to go ahead this year without any flooding damage.

[Raptor1]

Granted, it goes ahead without flooding damage, it just happens to be near the new Arizona Atlantic coast instead

I wish all your wish are belong to us

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but all the wishes are bad ones and you suffer as a consequence.

I wish temples were places of true and uninhibited friendship.

[TarJak]

Granted, your temples on the side of your head have some uninhibited, friendly fleas breeding like the clappers.

I wish Jim would keep his fleas to himself in October

[Raptor1]

Granted, but his cockroaches...

I wish I could drink...something....that doesn't taste too bad...and isn't harmful to me...

[Jimbuna]

Granted, here is a bottle of raspberry flavoured urine.

I wish I could sleep with my back to the wall in October.

[Raptor1]

Granted, in your cell after you tried crossing the border from Mexico to Texas (Or...Arizona...)

I wish mankind would invent some kind of newfangled thingamajiger that harnessed the wind's energy with big windmill-like thingies and produced electricity

[ubootcomrade]

Granted, a einviromental windfarm aerodynamic thing scientist guy reads this thread, sees my idea on the flying zep-dreadnought and invents giant zeppelins with windfarms on them, however an accident on one while it was in midair causes it to crash land on your house.

I wish that the Royal navy still had battleships.

[UnderseaLcpl]

I wish that the Royal navy still had battleships.

Granted, now you must pay extra taxes to support these obsolete weapons.

I wish the entire Royal Navy battleship armada was sunk by one Namibian submarine.

[Koondawg]

Granted the entire Royal Navy is sunk by one Namibian Submarine, now the world blocks off all exits and entries to any port and finally the Namibian Sub is blown from the waters thus creating world peace...

I wish that everyone could watch Wild Hogs whilst a hurricane was pelting their Igloo...that's one funny movie

KD

[TarJak]

Granted, we all do but none of us can figure out why you think it is funny and we all leave our igloos to get pelted by the hurricane cos that would be more fun.

I wish Jim's wall has a glory hole in October

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but your caught whilst trying to create it and sentenced to a further ten years servitude as a prisoner of Mother England.

I wish I could play with Pandoras box.

[Mush Martin]

Granted ... interestingly Pandora happens to be the middle name of
the b!tch that sits across from you.

I wish I had some toast.

[TarJak]

Granted, your wife makes a toast to the Queen of Canada HM QEII with some nice Australian red wine

I wish I could see the scene I just described

[Kratos]

I wish I could see the scene I just described

Granted: but the naked nieghbour you just seen through the window..'pulling HIS socks up' is not a scene i would want you to describe :rotfl:

I wish i had a ten pound note?

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you now are the proud possessor of a ten pound A-flat

I wish the sun would come out this morning

[Jimbuna]

Granted, and nobody realised the sun was gay.

I wish the devil within you would show itself.

[Raptor1]

Granted, it says hi

I wish I had some kind of thingy that does stuff

[Mush Martin]

Granted heres your viagra

I wish to be out of range of all Raptorlands weapons and
delivery systems.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but the fallout incapacitates you anyway, a few days later.

I wish my shift was over.

[kranz]

Granted, your shift is over, you go to the elevator dreaming about a cold beer, you go inside and meet the lady from the opposite desk who you mentioned before. The elevator locks between floors and you are locked with her until next morning when the mechanic releases you.

I wish I knew what happened in Hitler's bunker.

[Raptor1]

Granted, you read a history book

I wish I knew who T-H-E-M is

[ubootcomrade]

Granted, they are known as "THE HAIRY ENEMIES of the MOTHERLAND", and they are outside the gates of raptorgrad.

I wish I was the Prime minister of great Britain, I might be 16 but I would still do a better job than that idiot Brown.

[Randomizer]

Granted, new to the job you make a minor error in Parliamentery proceedure causing the Opposition to invoke the "Nasty and Evil Prime Minister Act" of 1508. This results in you being sent to the Tower of London while forefitting your Landes, Sheepe and Tenents. You are then Hung, Drawn and Quartered in public as part of a new reality TV special.

I wish T.H.E.M. would hurry up and storm the gates of Raptorland.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but T-H-E-M are mowed down by the well-placed Machine Gun nests

I wish to break his leg

[ubootcomrade]

Granted, you find randomizer and you proceed to break his leg, however all wishes must come with a penalty so you end up breaking both his legs, therefore canceling out your wish.


I wish I made sense

[Task Force]

Granted, but you only make sence to crasy people, so you dont make sense to us (or atleas most of us)

I wish for the person who posts next to find two million dollars and be able to keep it.;)

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, I find 2 million dollars and get to keep it, but I'm too stupid to save it so I spend it on a ginormous black hole creating machine and the entire universe (including the newly out of the closet gay sun) gets sucked into the black hole that I immediately create by pressing the red button after wondering what the red button does

I wish I hadn't pressed that damn red button

[Task Force]

Granted you press the big green button, Which makes a ax fall and split you in half.

I wish Digital Truckers wish wouldnt come true.:D

[Jimbuna]

Granted, it doesn't.

I wish I could get my hands on that elevator engineer.

[Task Force]

Granted but he is a black belt in the Fighting arts.;)

I wish jimbuna wouldnt get beat up.

[UnderseaLcpl]

I wish jimbuna wouldnt get beat up.

Granted, he gets beat down.


I wish I could use the word "indubitably" in conversation more often.

[Task Force]

Granted but people think your a fancy fuddyduddy and stop talking to you.

I wish the word indubitably was offensive.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, indubitably now equals offensive

I wish so many people weren't indubitably

[Jimbuna]

granted, they are apathetic instead.

i wish I knew what I was doing here.

[Biggles]

Granted, but then you get througly dissapointed that you don't have anything better to do.

I wish I had an Albatross. And some wafers with it too.

[Mush Martin]

Granted ... no sorry were all out of albatross with wafers could I interest
you in Kilimanjaro Vulture's with Hp sauce then.

I wish you hadnt eaten the chicken.

[Randomizer]

Granted, instead you ate an entire Whooping Crane with a side order of Harp Seal in Club Sauce garnished with toe jam, eye-of-newt and Lark's vomit.

I wish beer really was the cure for all life's problems.

[Mush Martin]

Granted

http://echosphere.net/star_trek_insp/insp_alcohol_preview.jpg

But you only get to drink with this guy.

http://echosphere.net/star_trek_insp/insp_captkirk_preview.jpg


I wish autumn was an extra month this year.

[Raptor1]

Granted, it takes a month from Summer, no catch

I wish a day was 17.56254 hours

[Koondawg]

Granted a day is now 17.56254 hours, which changes your age from 16 to 24 your drafted into the French Foreign Legion. Ship into the Sahara for training.


I wish a day was actually 28.532 hours.

[TarJak]

Granted, but it still doesn't mean you'll get any more work done around the house and your wife will just nage your for 4 more hours a day

I wish life had a vertical and horizontal control knob

[Raptor1]

Granted, but as with everything else in life, they're out of order

I wish for a Wish-O-Matic

[Mush Martin]

Granted you are gifted a wish o matic... a trojan wish o matic
midnight of the first night out comes the Golden Horde and
the glassy remains of raptorland fall to the superior technique
of the martinites.

I wish hed been ready for that.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but no washing powder has been developed for it yet, therefore it is of absolutely no use to anyone.

I wish soap operas were made of chocolate.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, soap operas are now made out of chocolate, but when the hot sexy scenes start, the actors melt and the shows are forever stuck in a morass of melted chocolate.

I wish it was a happy day

[Mush Martin]

Granted its a happy day for everyone who doesnt pay their taxes
to washington.


I wish you could all try my Gingerbread Pancake's

[ubootcomrade]

Granted, however the people demand more, and mushyland is already on the brink of revoloution.

I wish I had an evil snowman.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but since it's summer, it melts before you can do anything with it

I wish the snow would turn red with the blood of the naughty (Where there is snow, that is)

[Tango589]

Granted, but since it's summer, it melts before you can do anything with it

I wish the snow would turn red with the blood of the naughty (Where there is snow, that is)

Granted, but due to global warming, there is no longer any snow in the world.

I wish every Thursday was Hot Ladies get Naked Day.

[Mush Martin]

Granted the UN declares every thursday hot ladies get naked day
except where prohibited by law. Unfortunately some well meaning
types in your homeland had the foresight to ban thursdays in your
country making you guys the only exception.


I wish it was thursday.

[Raptor1]

Granted, it is not Thursday, 23:59 PM, where you live

I wish it was winter, always and forever

[Jimbuna]

Granted, everybody on the planet now lives in Siberia.

I wish dominoes were chess pieces.

[Tango589]

Granted, everybody on the planet now lives in Siberia.

I wish dominoes were chess pieces.

Granted, but you get the job of painting all the dots on the pawns.

I wish cricket was played with a shuttlecock.

[Randomizer]

Granted, but watching it now goes from merely boring to totally incomprehensible and boring. The end result is that cricket as a sport is to be played only on Hot Ladies Get Naked Day and so nobody will ever view a match again.

I wish Thursday was International Beer Drinking Day.

[Mush Martin]

Granted but it permanently displaces into none existence hot ladies
get naked day as we can only have one per day celebration per day.

I wish he hadnt wished that.

[Raptor1]

Granted, now you couldn't crush it

I wish I wasn't so booooored

[Randomizer]

Granted, now your hair is on fire, somebody is shooting at you with a nail gun and rabid gophers are trying to eat your testicles. That should keep you busy for a spell.

I wish International Beer Drinking Day and Hot Ladies Get Naked Day could co-exist peacefully on the same calendar.

[Mush Martin]

Granted but its the Vegan calender and your on earth.

I wish randomizer was bored again gophers are a cruel fate.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but only in the Spitsbergen calendar

EDIT: Granted, but Randomizer is now subjected to my boring fate

I wish mankind wasn't doomed

[Mush Martin]

Granted mankind isnt totally doomed they could be saved by
your typing speed.

I wish he got this too late.

[Randomizer]

Granted but mankind is still doomed, only this time we're taking the rest of the Universe with us because it's been a page or two since the last time it was destroyed around here.

I wish that destroying the Universe (yet again) wasn't such an easy Dream Crushing option.

[Tango589]

Granted but mankind is still doomed, only this time we're taking the rest of the Universe with us because it's been a page or two since the last time it was destroyed around here.

I wish that destroying the Universe (yet again) wasn't such an easy Dream Crushing option.

Granted. Now only the most ridiculously convoluted dream-crushes can end the universe.

I wish my cats would come in.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, your cats come in, but they come in to your washing machine and are spin cycled until they go completely spastic and rip your head to shreds when you open the machine

I wish my medication didn't make me goofy(er)

[Mush Martin]

Granted it makes permanently as goofy as you are which in your defence
ends up in a career change that allows you to move to orlando florida
and on a flight to Euro disney as part of an exchange. You tour the
Hadron accellerator where through another accident with a liquid
lunch and a rubber band your face is permanently etched holographically
onto every square inch of the space time continuum causing the
complete fabric of the multiverse and its unknown and unknowable
inhabitant/s to destroy all universes. cha cha cha:|\\

and I wish you all a merry afternoon of destroying the unverse
multiverse or nearest convenient parrallel dimension as part of
the rush to crush.

[Raptor1]

Granted. Now only the most ridiculously convoluted dream-crushes can end the universe.

What are we?!!?!?!?!?

Anywayz

Granted, it now makes you normal(er), and therefore more boring

EDIT: Granted, we will

I wish to slay the blasphemers

[Mush Martin]

Granted your first.


I wish to destroy all potential hiding places for the population
of Raptor land refugees.

[Raptor1]

Granted, you destroy Mushland, the most obvious hiding place

I wish I had a map of the convoluted dream-crushing world we live in

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you now have a map of the convoluted dream-crushing world we live in, but it is a Google map and, as we all know, Google is the all assimilating king of monopolies and is broken into a gajilliion pieces by the "EU anti-profit commission and swap meet" and your map disintegrates into a gajillion squared pieces

I wish I knew what "I" was doing

[Randomizer]

Granted but with this knowledge comes the realization that you are nothing but a simple tool of the Greater Google EU Anti-Profiteering and Household Appliance Swap Meet Cabal. You are now tasked to stick forks into toasters and are required to test the temperature in deep-fat fryers with your right hand.

I wish the convoluted dream-crushing world came as a globe.

[Mush Martin]

Granted but you are indiana jones and its rolling down the
spiderweb filled tunnel behind you about to crush you.


I wish I had some popcorn

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but all you get is a bottle of pop and some corns from your grannies feet.

I wish Uranus wasn't so large.

[Kratos]

I wish Uranus wasn't so large.
Granted: mines not so large...but if you got yours out of the way..the roses would grow in my garden :p

I wish i more whisky instead of taking damn painkillers?

[nikimcbee]

I wish i more whisky instead of taking damn painkillers?

Granted, but you wind up taking more pain-killers for your liver transplant surgery.

I wish hurricane Ike hit someplace else.:roll:

[UnderseaLcpl]

Granted, but you wind up taking more pain-killers for your liver transplant surgery.

I wish hurricane Ike hit someplace else.:roll:

Granted, it hits Idaho:D Need someone to fill sandbags for you?

I wish The rest of the country didn't take up so much of Texas' territory.

[Randomizer]

Granted, Texas will now be sold to Mexico so that Texan's need no longer bother sharing the CONUS with the other lower 48.

I wish Alaska had sage brush and cactus.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but they die in the cold climate

I wish I could stall for time (From a great height, so my plane doesn't crash)

[Mush Martin]

Granted but in order to do it we turn your plane into a high
altitude weather balloon and the only way down is the
same way Joe Kittinger did, of course he had five custom
made chute's good luck son.


I wish to make the golden horde battle parasol's proof
against flaming from re entry skydivers.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, ground all flights, flood the earth and be weary of the skindivers.

I wish the bitch sitting opposite me at work would think about her dandruff problem and start wearing trousers.

[Koondawg]

Granted the bitch across from you starts wearing trousers thinking of her dandruff problem but she forgets about her yeast infection. Thus late in the afternoon the office smells like bakery, you find yourself getting aroused and think of eating her after you spread butter all over her....

I wish I could smell fresh bread baking...

[TarJak]

Granted, but after eating the muffin sitting across from Jimbuna your oral hygiene needs serious attention not to mention the STD now infecting your bloodstream.

I wish distressed timber would settle down and stop being so emotional

[Tango589]

Granted, but after eating the muffin sitting across from Jimbuna your oral hygiene needs serious attention not to mention the STD now infecting your bloodstream.

I wish distressed timber would settle down and stop being so emotional

Granted. It's now so laid back that it falls over.

I wish it was party time.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but it's at your house and the drinks are on you.

I wish cannibals were vegetarian.

[Raptor1]

Granted, and all humans turn to plants

I wish I had casus belli

[Koondawg]

Granted justification of your acts of war gets your ass kick by NATO...thus reducing your country into a hole on the desert which is buried by 3 front loaders...fall out last for 3 years

I wish I didn't have to go second after Jimbuna...now we are both in the ward waiting diagnosis...

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you don't have to go second, you go 4,576,993,372,496,187,168,357th, but by that time all of your fun parts have fallen off and there is nothing left but a toupee looking pile of hair.

I wish purple was concrete

[Raptor1]

Granted, human society breaks to pieces as purple turns to concrete

I wish that made sense to everyone

[Tango589]

Granted, human society breaks to pieces as purple turns to concrete

I wish that made sense to everyone

Granted, but everyone needed to have been doing 'shrooms to understand it.

I wish...you know, stuff knows what I wish. Good luck crushing this.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you know, stuff knows what you wish, but the stuff that knows what you wish is the double-stuff in the center of the Oreo cookie and, as we all know, that stuff is inanimate and cannot grant your wish, which is now crushed by the little girl dunking the cookie in the milk

I wish I had an Oreo and a glass of milk

[Task Force]

Granted Its a old stale oreo and a sour glass of milk.

I wish I had a new package of oreos and a glass of fresh milk.:D

[Tango589]

:rotfl:

Fair play for the crush!

Granted, but it's a poison oreo and a glass of dogs milk.

(Ps. Nothing wrong with dogs milk. Its full of good goodness, full of vitamins full of marrowbone jelly!)

I wish dogs milk didn't taste the same fresh as when it had gone off.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but that puts the final nail on the phantom health problems you never knew you had

EDIT: Granted, but it still tastes like...

I wish I had a nail to put on Task Force

[Task Force]

Granted but it dosent affect me in anyway. (already had on go in my leg):yep:

I wish raptor would have crushed my dream faster.:D

[Raptor1]

Granted, you have them phantom health problems again

I wish I was a Man of Wealth and Taste, and that I had a fancy monocle

[Randomizer]

Granted but your Wealth is in STD's and your Taste reminds all and sundry of Joe Stalin's. Did I mention that your monocle was painted black?

I wish I rode a tank, held a general's rank...

[Mush Martin]

Granted but you lose a track where the Bodies stank and have no
gear or recovery units.


I wish you could guess my name.:|\\

[Raptor1]

Granted, it's Mup...Mur...Muz....nope, not granted

I wish I could guess his name

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you could guess his name, but you don't, causing you to be hounded by the watchdogs at the EU anti-profiteering society and barbeque pit and eventually forced to move to uboatcomradeograd and live in shame

I wish wishes were dishes with kanishes

[Randomizer]

Granted, wishes become dishes of kanishes, great piles of them in fact. Until one fine day, the crane used in downtown Uboatcomradegrad to stack the wish dishes of kanishes collapses and all are duly crushed.

I wish I had a red door...

[Jimbuna]

Granted, you've now got a perfect match for your big red nose.

I wish spaghetti was string.

[Mush Martin]

Granted all of your spaghetti breaks down to its constituent
Subquantum-strings. unfortunately you didnt rinse
it so your spaghetti sticks to this M-Brane. Causing a common
resonance throughout all of the universes strings. this manifests
its self when suddenly everything north of the universal
meridian turns to meatsauce and cheese.


I wish I had some garlic bread and a bottle of Chianti

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but now your wife won't kiss you because of the smell of your breath and your to drunk to notice.

I wish the bitch sitting opposite me at work would take advantage of MM whilst he's inebriated.

[Mush Martin]

Sorry not Granted shes your B!tch heres a tub of margarine to
help ease it on.

I wish I had some Gingersnaps.

[TarJak]

Granted, you get a Gingersnap that neither tastes of ginger or is snappy

I wish frogs were more like crocodiles

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but now everyone has their legs bitten off whilst sunning themselves next to their ponds in the garden.

I wish frog spawn was essential for desserts.

[Mush Martin]

Granted have your cruchy frog desert and be happy

I wish jimbuna had seconds

[Raptor1]

Granted, but he gives them to you

I wish you all some bad luck

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, we all have some bad luck, but it turns out to be a good thing when the silver lining in the clouds is discovered to be the light at the end of the tunnel (no, not the one with the train attached:D) and we all live happily ever after

I wish money grew on trees

[Task Force]

Granted but all the bad luck bounces off of us and back to you. Enough bad luck to curse you for the rest of your short life.

edit. Type slower next time DT.

I wish I knew why raptor is going to have sutch a short life.:hmm:

[Task Force]

Granted but money trees dont grow in your region.

I wish I had a money tree in my back yard.

[Raptor1]

Granted, I was rich and had a short but good life (Money can indeed buy happiness, you know), and now you inherited the money tree, causing you to have a short life as well

I wish you were happy with that

[Jimbuna]

Granted, we're so happy we split our sides laughung and one of our broken ribs cuts into our heart killing us and you are executed for being a mass murderer.

I wish I could be the official hangman.

[Task Force]

Granted but they rarly do hangings anymore in most countrys, so you are out of a job.;)

I wish for a pin in the shape of a U boat.:D (realy want one):yep:

[Tango589]

Granted but the pin comes from the hand grenade you are holding.

I wish I knew what this guy found so funny: :rotfl:

[Task Force]

Granted but you realise he is laughing at you and the hand gernade in your hand. (pin pulled out)

I wish that I had something to wish for.:D

[Raptor1]

Granted, and then it has been thoroughly...crushed!

Avast, I be wishing it be Talk Like yer being a Pirate day already

[Randomizer]

Granted, but you now require a peg leg, hook for a hand and parrot droppings on one shoulder since your other parrot is long dead. Don't forget the eyepatch either. BTW, the French Foreign Legion is hunting you for kidnapping rich tourists whether you're guilty or not.

I wish for a caronnade that fires lemonade.

[TarJak]

Granted, but it goes off whilst you are loading it showering you with sticky fluid

I wish carronades came in six packs

[Mush Martin]

Granted making a full broadside 216 guns from fifty yards.
I would suggest at this point looking off your port beam.


I wish I had some bar shots

[Randomizer]

Granted but Jimbuna and the fat bitch that works at the desk across from him come by and drink up all of your bar shots, and your beers and even whatever wine you happen to have on your port beam. They also open a canister of grapeshot and a packet of chips (yes, that means crisps).

I wish I had spelt carronade correctly since I know better...

[TarJak]

Granted, but as you know better you stopped playing this game several posts ago and your poorly educated alter ego took over

I wish Randomizer's alter ego could spell Randomiser

[Randomizer]

Granted, he can but he will not since doing so would be just plain wrong.

I wish there was nothing wrong with our bloody ships today.

[TarJak]

Granted your bloody ships are all fine but your submarines are all all sunk

I wish the bloke carrying my dinner would hurry up and arrive

[Raptor1]

Granted, he arrives to tell you that they're all out

I wish I had a magic gold ring

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but he was late because he is suffering from leprosy and one of his legs fell off enroute.

I hope TarJak enjoys his meal.

[TarJak]

Granted, I did.:D No crush necessary

I hope Raptor1's golden ring doesn't hurt too much

[Raptor1]

So do I

I wish TarJak made a wish

[TarJak]

Granted, I wish I typed wish instead of hope last time.:lol:

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but your hopes are dashed by the next wish anyway.

I wish flattery was obsessive.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, flattery is now obsessive, but the saying "Obsessive will get you everywhere" now makes no sense and we are all forced to relearn thousands of trite old sayings. While we are doing that the Martinites sneak into Raptorland and Uboatcomreadeland and quietly overthrow the governments, attack DT city and cause the LHC to malfunction causing a huge brown hole

I wish to be excused from the brown hole

[Jimbuna]

granted, in future, a hired helper will assist you in performing that personal task.

I wish not to get that helpers job.

[Randomizer]

Granted, you are now in charge of parts inventory at the local leper colony as well as assistant hemorroid assessor and bedpan sanitizor. Eeeeuuuggghhh.

I wish Dream Crushing was an olympic sport.

[kranz]

granted, you are chosen to represent your country and got gold medal. After two days they found some drugs in your pee which makes you the most hated person who has to emigrate to avoid being beheaded

I wish I had StG 44

[Tango589]

granted, you are chosen to represent your country and got gold medal. After two days they found some drugs in your pee which makes you the most hated person who has to emigrate to avoid being beheaded

I wish I had StG 44

Granted, but seeing as it was made in 1944 it is now rusted beyond use and you are beaten up by someone weilding a rolled up newspaper.

I wish rolled up newspapers were banned under the Geneva Convention as a cruel and/or unusual punishment.

[Mush Martin]

Granted they are however due to a clerical error Rolled up
toilet paper is banned under the geneva convention, consequently
every man woman child and military in the world is looking for you
you may only gain safe haven by surrendering totally to the
forces of Ubootecomradeograd.


I wish I didnt have to turn in all my newpapers during the
amnesty period.

[ubootcomrade]

Granted, but now you have to turn in your computer instead.


I wish martin knew that UbootcomradeGRAD was UbootcomradeLANDS capital city. :know: :rotfl:

[TarJak]

Granted, hw knows but continues to deliberately transpose the two in order to annoy you.

I wish gyrocopters could do barrel rolls

[Randomizer]

Granted, but yours will only do pickle-barrel rolls or jelly rolls while everybody elses gyrocopters will do beer-barrel rolls, snap-rolls, Immelmann's and Split-S's.

I wish for a stairway to heaven.

[Task Force]

Granted but it is only goes halfway.

I wish I knew gow to mod sh3/4 so I could do something to make SH even better.;)

[Mush Martin]

Granted but due to a problem with entropy you end up having to
write all of GWX solo while fending of questions and critics.


I wish Ubootecomrade would get it straight

UbootecomradeGrad is a small town in the township of
Ubootecomradeland which is Clearly within the confines
of the least fashionable province of mushyland that being
the Province of raptorland. Dont make me send in the
girl scouts from nieghboring Tarjak county to learn ya about it.

[Task Force]

Granted uboatecomrade gets it stright, but it goes in one ear and out the other.

I wish Task force land would be out of mushyland`s weapons range.:D (are weapons will always get ya)

[Jimbuna]

Granted. but your still well within range of the buna ICBM.

I wish my mind was made up.

[Tango589]

Granted. but your still well within range of the buna ICBM.

I wish my mind was made up.

Granted, but by made up, I take it you mean imaginary. Therefore everything you think you know is actually a figment of your overwrought imagination.

I wish the sun shone for ever.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but never on the dark side of the moon.

I wish there was such a thing as wooden tadpoles.

[NealT]

Granted, but then it would cause massive unemployment as the toothpick makers went out of business because people could eat frog legs and clean their teeth at the same time.

I wish I was good enough to have a sub in Navy Field

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but that navy field turns out to be a minefield and your soon destroyed.

I wish I could sleep for a thousand years.

[Koondawg]

Granted you sleep for 1000 years, although when you wake you realize you have been buried in the butcrack of the woman you so much hated when you were in the office....

I wish polygons were crackers with cheese....

[NealT]

Granted, you later realize you have been buried in the butcracker of the woman you so much hated when you were in the office and she has been cutting the cheese all this time.

I wish I were more creative...

[Jimbuna]

Granted, you now create havoc wherever you go.

I wish vanity was as succulent as freshly roasted lamb.

[Kratos]

I wish vanity was as succulent as freshly roasted lamb.

Granted: but what you percieve as vanity,is actually mutton dressed as lamb

I wish i had a bottle of bushmills?

[Raptor1]

Granted, it's empty

I wish I had a bottle of evil juice filled with real authentic evil juice

[TarJak]

Granted, but you find the taste of drain cleaner a little overpowering when you drink it's evil juice and die as the caustic burns thru your throat

I wish cars had the ability to leap over traffic jams

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but you find the taste of drain cleaner a little overpowering when you drink it's evil juice and die as the caustic burns thru your throat

I wish cars had the ability to leap over traffic jams


Granted, but only when equipped with a strobe and a klaxon http://www.abfnet.com/forum/images/smilies/cops.gif

I wish I could take my car to the SS Meet.

[Mush Martin]

Granted but the Airfrieght bill insurance and international plate and
liscense are yours to pay for including return.


I wish I was jimbunas travelbroker

[Task Force]

Granted, but you send him on a flight 4th class(wing) and he hunts you down and locks you up in a vice. By the way Jimbuna, do you want a strap on the left or right wing.:rotfl:

I wish buna land was a radioactive wasteland due to Task Force lands nuclear warheads. (Im glad Im far away from buna land).:D

[Raptor1]

Granted, but Raptorland claims the scorched remains and the Duce, Jimbuna, escapes to Ubootcomradeland, hope you don't mind

I wish I had less enemies and more pizza

[Task Force]

Granted you have no enemys and more pizza, enjoy your new laxative filled pizza.(I know I spelled laxative rong)

I wish I had a cheese pizza with no laxative in it or anything else other than bread,tomato sauce, cheese. and nothing (including paracites) that shouldnt be in it.;)

[TarJak]

Granted you get a nice pizza with only good stuff in it. Trouble is you chose to wash it down with raw sewage

I wish garbage bags came in extra heavy duty body size

[Task Force]

Granted, but you have to live in it.;)

I wish I had a cheese pizza with no laxative in it or anything else other than bread,tomato sauce, cheese. and nothing (including paracites) that shouldnt be in it with a coke that had nothing rong with it, nothing in it that shouldnt be there. and it dosent explode on me.:D and anything that would happen to me happens to the person who crushes it, But there is a loop hole I will tell ya after this wish is crushed.

[Koondawg]

Granted but your cheese pizza with no laxative in it or anything else other than bread,tomato sauce, cheese. and nothing (including paracites) that shouldnt be in it with a coke that had nothing rong with it cuases you to choke on a slice thus realizing that the coke will do you no f'n good at this point...thus the bitch sitting across from Jimbo takes a header off the table onto your gut causing you to hurl cheese pizza with no laxative in it or anything else other than bread,tomato sauce, cheese. and nothing (including paracites) that shouldnt be in it all over the crowd watching you choke....applauding the fat woman who did a triple gainer off the table onto your gut


I wish tables couldn't hold up 1000 lbs...thus allowing fat women to save choking pizza addicts

[Task Force]

granted, but the fat woman falls on you while she is getting on the table, and you are crushed (along with every bone in your body).

I wish I was far away from that fat woman so I dont get crushed.

[Koondawg]

Granted but you get sprayed with my guts...all over...your covered in guts thus causing you to spew/hurl over everyone...in order to save the guests the fat lady takes one for the team and dives on you...thus preventing you from hearing the stereo anymore....now that's fat


I wish the band played louder...

[Task Force]

granted they play so loud your eardurms get blown out.;)

oah yea about that loop hole I told ya all about. Im sorry to say but Koondawg now has 100 years of bad luck.:rotfl:

I wish that pigs could fly. not over me though.;)

[Mush Martin]

Granted they fly over the chair your sitting in instead.

I wish the coffee was ready

[NealT]

Granted, but then you drop and break your last cup and as you lift the pot to your mouth to drink it directly, you get stung by a bee on the lip, drop, and break the pot as well.

I wish I could take the day off.

[Mush Martin]

:shifty:Not granted mush it turns out is your real world boss and is still miffed about
what you did to his coffee maker, oddly he cancels your vacation
too.


I wish I had a new coffee pot now.

[TarJak]

Granted but of course your new coffee pot makes coffe that tastes like burned electical wiring

I wish electrical wiring tasted better

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but you need to ensure it's connected to a live circuit to get the full benefit from your taste buds.

I wish the curfews in Texas were lifted.

[NealT]

Granted, but then a new ban goes into effect in which they ban all persons from entering the great state whose names begin with a "J". Since you do not know this, and attempt illegal entry, they tar and feather you, ride you out on the rails, and ship you off to the State of Oklahoma where you find out that they clean their coffee pots with the dirt from the dust bowl, have been in a drought for years, are whipped by the wind of the tornadoes, and HATE Texans so they string you up by your boots and leave you out to rot in the sun. [They consider you a Texan since you were ousted from there.]

I wish Jimbuna weren't so deep.

[Raptor1]

Granted, he's now that much closer to the DDs

I wish Jim could escape the DDs

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but a sneaky BB comes up from the rear and rams him/me.

I wish Oliver Twist was spiral in shape.

[TarJak]

Granted, he takes the shape of a screw worm and is burrowing into your brain right now.

I wish Stavenger was easier to pronounce

[Randomizer]

Granted but this results in all geometric shapes becoming fictional Dicken's characters and you are brutally saveged by Ebinezer Scrooge shaped like a dodecahedron.

D'oh, too slow.

I wish Stavenger was easier to pronounce

Granted, it is now pronounced Sydney causing endless confusion to airlines, shipping companies and international mail.

I wish tanks could replace cars.

[Raptor1]

So...do...I...

Granted, but you have to replace all the broken roads

I wish Gneisenau was easier to pronounce

[Task Force]

granted it is so easy to pronounce everyone starts saying it and starts haunting you cause there sick of hearing it.;)

I wish for GWX 4 to be released today.:D

[Mush Martin]

Granted but only to the Beta testers.


I wish raptor had a hanky after that

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but the stain on it leaves a lot to the imagination.

I wish the GWX4 beta testers were programmable.

[NealT]

Granted but then someone would flip the off switch and they would be gone.

I wish this chicken weren't so tough.

[Koondawg]

Granted but your pent 2 266 isn't powerfull enough to supply the info to transform them...your brain goes into blue screen mode (well all know that one) thus resluting your body into safe mode....


I wish the Olympics had dominoes as a sport...

[Randomizer]

Granted, full contact topless female dominoes with shotguns at 20-metres is now an offical medal sport.

I wish the Olympics were every 40-years.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but the Earth ends in 2012, so the Olympics will never come again...

I wish that my name was Hans.


(The world isn't really supposed to end on December 21, 2012; it's just an old rumor started because that's the date the Mayan calendar ends on.)

[Koondawg]

Granted your name is now Hans...you introduce yourself to a fine lady and she mistakes your name for Hands...thus slapping you crossed eyed forever....

I wish topless female nymphs would come knocking at the door...

[TarJak]

Granted by as they are all only .0005 of an inch tall you mistake them for gnats and spray them with insecticide killing them all painfully

I wish nymphs were larger and that Koondawg hadn't slaughtered them

[Randomizer]

Granted, nymphs are now rotund, smell bad and work at a desk across from Jimbuna. Koondawg didn't really slaughter them with toxic chemicals but he did make them very angry so now they are out for all human's blood. Stealth Hunter might have been able to save humanity but unfortunately he had his Hans full at the time...

I wish the Mayan calendar had ended last week so we could just move on to the next pending apocalypse.

[Mush Martin]

Granted ....wha....what is that in the sky? Vogon's?


I wish I had an electronic thumb

[TarJak]

Granted, but it only responds to the touch of Veet Voojagig so you can't hitch a ride

I wish the Starship Titanic was not a temporal anomoly

[Mush Martin]

Granted its Stuck in permenantly in the past, taking up residence
permanently at your cribside firing a full broadside. resulting in that
permanently surprised look you sport.


I wish I had a baby picture of tarjak:arrgh!:

[NealT]

Granted but then the internet police arrest you for being a pedofile and the doctor delivering the baby is sued because he was caught trying to stuff him back in the egg.

I wish I did not have to work on this rainy, dreary day...

[TarJak]

Granted, you don't have to work on this rainy dreary day but you will have to when the sun is shining and you'd prefer to be at the beach.

I wish Mush would believe that this is a baby photo of TarJak

http://www.monky.ro/wp-content/uploads/2007/06/cute_baby.jpg

[Mush Martin]

Granted.... babies first words ...nyaaagh ... whats up doc?


I wish I had never wished to see tarjaks baby picture

[Raptor1]

Granted, but you can never unsee what you just saw

I wish I had more CV4s

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you have more CV4s, but the CV4s you have are a newly discovered STD virus that results in your brains turning into strained squash baby food, your liver turning into goose pate, and your lungs being filled with poop bricks, all of which occurs over a span of 20 years causing you incalculable pain and suffering

I wish the CV4 virus didn't exist

[Jimbuna]

Granted, a cure is found but then quickly superceded by the CV5 virus.

I wish turkeys couldn't 'gobble'

[Mush Martin]

Granted they chew properly and slowly with their mouths closed
however they are now Jimbuna eating mutant turkeys.

I wish I had some Cranberry Jelly.

[Fr8monkey]

Granted. You may now scrape the cranberries from my feet, for I squished them by walking on them.

I wish I had 3 more wishes.

[Koondawg]

Granted you have 3 more wishes...but you can only wish one wish a year...and never wish again for more wishes


I wish cranberries crushed by feet would actually be bottled as toe jam...

KD

[Task Force]

Granted but now your Jam for your sandwhich has Toe Jam in it, and lint.;)

I wish I was a GWX 4 beta tester when it comes out. (Just cant wait for it.:D).

[TarJak]

Granted, but like me you are still waiting...


I wish waiting was more fun

[Raptor1]

Granted, it's so much fun you'll do it for the rest of your life

I wish I had some Bloody Guns o' Murder

[Blacklight]

Granted, but I'm sure the police would get their hands on them to find out who the blood belongs to and it wouldn't look very good for you either.

I wish I had someone to play my wargames with.

[Mush Martin]

Granted but because you suck they wont let you play.:doh:

I wish I had someone to play wargames with.:|\\

[TarJak]

Granted, but it's Blacklight so you never play anyway

I wish Raptor1 would send me back the file so we can get on with the game

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but it's a metal file for sawing through the iron bars of a prison cell.

I wish I was the Jailer.

[Koondawg]

Granted your the jailer, and there is a prison riot...the cell block is taken over and all of the guards are held hostage...your now a man-bitch for bubba who trades you for cigs....


I wish bus trips were shorter....

[kranz]

Granted, they are shorter because the driver stops 10 km before reaching destination leaving the rest for your legs.

I wish there was "no hostage policy" when it comes to Jimbuna and his new bubba-friend.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, jimbuna kills him instead.

I wish the bitch sitting opposite me at work would have a sheve (facial context).

[NealT]

Granted but then you find you have been fantacizing about a man in your wild dreams, cannot take the pressure, and wind up being put in a mental institution with an extreme psychosis.

I wish Unterseebootland wasn't so rich in albertonium.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, Albertonium is mined to exhaustion, there is now no longer any minerals on Unterseebootland and everyone emigrates to Zimbabwe for a better lifestyle.

I wish methodical solutions were guesstimates.

[Raptor1]

Granted, and they still don't work

I wish I could encircle and destroy the enemy

[Mush Martin]

Granted but you fail to make the order due to terrible indecision
and waffling resulting in the worst defeat in military history as your
entire host surrenders to a wandering ice cream vendor for their
salvation from their own command.


I wish I had a popsicle.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, it is the lemon variety. Enjoy the film.

I wish my dentist had of been available today.

[Raptor1]

Granted, your dentist has been available, and now much of your worldly posessions are thoroughly dented

I wish Jimbuna's stuff could be fixed

[ubootcomrade]

Granted, but then it gets stolen.


I wish I knew the exact location of Unterseebootland so I could invade and claim it in the name of the 87th empire of Ubootcomradeland.

[Randomizer]

Granted but your invading minions are shattered by an unexpected Unterseebootland counter-offensive and 92% of them are scooped up as prisoners of war. This causes a collapse of national will in Uboatcomradeland and you are deposed in a bloody coup and brought up on charges of 'doing things' with butter and raw liver. A crime against good taste. You flee to exile in Zimbabwe for the improvement in lifestyle that it brings.

I wish some of the fantasy empires around here were real.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, they are...it's just that your a hard guy to convince.

I wish my wishing well was full of gold dust.

[NealT]

Granted, but you are allergic to gold dust, sneeze, and spread it all out over the countryside, losing it all, watching the stock market fall as oil prices spiral upwards out of control, and live the rest of your life in squalor.

I wish Neal would change the smilies he uses on this board.

:help: :lurk: :lost:

[Raptor1]

Granted, he turns the board into a totalitarian dictatorship and everyone loses their smiles

I wish to expand my borders to the west, where there is the unpopulated, unclaimed country that is rich with harvestable resources that will help drive my war machine

[NealT]

Granted, but you live at the South Pole and just keep going around in circles.

I wish pizza did not have so many calories.

[ubootcomrade]

Granted, but seeing as 3 people have posted at the same time, i have no idea what to curse you with...

I wish Ubootcomradeland will be ready for the upcoming war.

[Randomizer]

Granted but that is just smoke and mirrors to diguise his impending surprise attack. He does offer you the 60% of his army suffering from STD's however.

I wish excessive use of smilies caused massive weight gain, bad breath and flatulence in the user.

[Task Force]

Granted you are now veary fat and have bad breath and flatulence ,along with many other mambers who hunt you down and gut you like a fish. Fresh Randomizer here get some while it lasts.:rotfl:

I wish Task forceland would be victourious in takeing over Uboatcomradeland with its advanced U boats and air raids/nuclear warheads.:D

[Jimbuna]

Granted but that is just smoke and mirrors to diguise his impending surprise attack. He does offer you the 60% of his army suffering from STD's however.

I wish excessive use of smilies caused massive weight gain, bad breath and flatulence in the user.

Granted

http://www.amazing-animations.com/animations/men37.gif

I wish I was in control of you all http://img395.imageshack.us/img395/2179/mushdeskcr7.gif

[Raptor1]

Granted, but you are overthrown for being an oppressive tyrant

I wish Task Forceland will sign that damned trade agreement already

[Task Force]

Aaaw that is a great pic of you Jimbuna.:rotfl:

Granted but we rebel when you are sleeping.

I wish Jimbuna would get along with that woman acrost from him, they would make a perfect couple.;)

Darnit you beat me Raptor.

[Randomizer]

Granted, but even perfect couples have their problems. After the divorce she becomes the new Mrs. Task Force.

I wish carrots were blue.

[Task Force]

Granted but they dont ketch on and the companys go back to red.

I wish that I never go bald like Jimbuna. (Or as his PIC shows):rotfl:

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but you ust wear a cap.

http://i224.photobucket.com/albums/dd320/pasquarade/drunkcob.gif

I wish never never land was real.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, never never land is real and you get to spend the rest of your days there with Michael Jackson

I wish my son hadn't set the back deck on fire