Game: Crush Each Other's Dreams

[TarJak]

Granted, Now that you know you realise that you weren't thinking anything at all and go back to sleep

I wish Jim would wake up

[Koondawg]

Granted Jim wakes up...but only after four hours of you spooning him...you cant move your arm because it is alseep. Now you are wishing your arm wasn't asleep.

I wish that picture of you two spooning wasn't in my head...:stare:

KD

[Jimbuna]

Granted, it is now in your pc as a wallpaper.

I wish TJ was with me the other evening in Manchester when I was watching England beat Australia in the final of the Hong Kong Cricket Sixes final on Sky Sports.

[Rilder]

Granted, you both weren't watching the sports...

I wish I had a faster computer.

[NealT]

Granted your computer is now so fast you cannot keep up with it and it runs away...

I wish my son would move out soon...

[Rilder]

I wish my son would move out soon...

Dad?

[Digital_Trucker]

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Granted, your son moves out, and then back again 3 days later when he discovers that it's a cruel cruel world out there (and stuff costs a lot, too)

I wish it wasn't a cruel cruel world and stuff didn't cost a lot and that the voices would quit telling me to clean the guns

[Raptor1]

Granted, it is a nice world, where ammunition does not cost much, and the voices tell you to use the guns instead of cleaning them

I wish the voices were as nice to me as they are to DT

[NealT]

After DT blows out your eardrums cleaning his guns, the voices are nice and quiet.

I wish my children would forget where I live...

[MothBalls]

Granted, you're children have forgotten where you live. However, they haven't forgotten you credit card numbers or bank accounts and go on a wild spending spree, and buy new homes for themselves.

I wish children were born with their parents memories and experiences, so they wouldn't have to make all the same mistakes we did.

[Koondawg]

Granted children are born with their parents memories and experiences, so now they don't have to make all the same mistakes we did. Which means they don't copulate...and you were never born thus your post never counts...

I wish grilled cheese sandwiches already came premaid and all you had to do was heat em up...


KD

[TarJak]

Granted, but now they taste as bad as everything else that is pre-maide and re-heated.

I wish I was having roast pork with all the trimmings tonight for dinner

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but your wife becomes very annoyed when she realises what 'trimmings' you were referring to.

I wish for more groundbreaking rules.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but you have to pay to fix the ground

I wish Pizza was the answer to all the world's problems

[TarJak]

Granted, it is; except for the obesity epedemic.

I wish for a safe journey

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but you forgot to take the key....and the safe is airtight.

I wish google was my company.

[NealT]

Granted, but is and you are now in deep trouble as they charge you with insider trading and you get to go to San Quentin for 2 consecutive life sentences plus 99 years without possibility of parole.

I wish I had gotten the day off.

[Koondawg]

Granted you wish in one hand for the day off and you crap in the other...just to see which one fills the fastest...

I wish I could get a perfect week on fantasy football daymit...

KD

[nikimcbee]

Granted you wish in one hand for the day off and you crap in the other...just to see which one fills the fastest...

I wish I could get a perfect week on fantasy football daymit...

KD

Granted! Your India football league players score 1: nil

I wish you found the SS FF thread, like 4 months ago!:x

[TarJak]

Granted, but since he did no-one else wants to play

I wish I knew how to enunciate lucidity into your daily lives

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but you still don't realise the true meaning of male emancipation.

I wish I knew everything that nobody else knew.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you now know everything that nobody else knew, which means you know nothing since everything is known by someone and since that means there is nothing that is not known by anyone, then nobody knows nothing, everyone knows something and there is nothing left for you to know

I wish I knew how to masticate correctly

[TarJak]

Granted, but you still get hair on your palms and go blind

I wish mastication didn't have the side effect

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, mastication doesn't have that effect, it makes your food easier to swallow

I wish I had enunciated masticate more properly

[Raptor1]

Granted, but he still doesn't understand

I wish I could pronounce Muflumpertranbetrugzer

[Task Force]

Granted, but it is when you say it, a bucket of water gets dumped on your head. Turns out that in some languages that means. "Help me Im on fire"

I wish raptor would have not gotten a bucket of water dumped on himself.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, tis a bucket of pi$$ instead.

I wish foolishness was profitable.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but it causes the complete downfall of the economic system as there are more people profiting than people losing

I wish sense was liquid

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but the constant shifting makes you bi-polar.

I wish that I could create a hit play entitled "The Miraculous Adventures of Black Jesus".

[Raptor1]

Granted, but you get sued by treehuggers, communists and monks around the world over a controversial scene

I wish I could create a hit play called "The Life and Miserable Death of a Bankrupt Assassin"

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but a stagelight falls during a performance, and sends the entire theatre up in flames. Everyone inside dies, and all the money earned goes up with it.

I wish that Charles Laughton wasn't dead.

[TarJak]

Granted, but now the undead Charles is coming to eat your flesh

I wish Stealth Hunter hadn't wished for Charles Laughton to become a zombie

[NealT]

Granted he didn't, it was YOU he wished for to be a zombie.

I wish today didn't come so early in the morning...

[Jimbuna]

Granted, it now comes late in the afternoon.

I wish for spectemur agendo.

[Koondawg]

Granted the spectemur agendo you are judged by is when you were caught with the billy goats head throught the fence and his back hooves in your boots, although you were only trying to help him get unstuck, when your pants fell down...that is all anyone will remember...you will be noted as Jimbo the Sheep @$%^er ( Herder) from now on...


I wish it wasnt raining....on Jimbo's parade


KD

[NealT]

It isn't...it is hailing on Jimbo's parade and raining on yours along with lightning and 55kt winds...

I wish today didn't include people crushing other people's dreams.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, they now smash them to smithereens instead.

I wish I knew why she sells seashells from the seashore.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but the knowledge of how she is greedy and wants money turns you into a Socialist

I wish all the damned Commies would die, once more!

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, all the damn Commies die once more, but now the CIA, NSA and other, as yet, unknown three letter acronyms for intelligence departments have nothing to do and start spying on you instead, causing it to be discovered that you have 3 rotting corpses in your refrigerator to be used for making the Thanksgiving dinner

I wish I didn't have to eat Thanksgiving dinner now that I found out about Raptor1's cannibalistic tendencies

[Koondawg]

Granted you don't have to eat Thanksgiving dinner now that you found out about Raptor1's cannibalistic tendencies...but you will be thankfull you didn't read the report where the CIA, NSA and other, as yet, unknown three letter acronyms for intelligence departments that have nothing to do
found in the cavity search...

I wish I could have been across the street, hidden by a cloaking device filming the raid..


KD

[Raptor1]

Granted, but as I am linked to a Dead-Cannibal Switch which sets off 120 kilos of TNT when I am killed during the raid (You'll never take me alive!), you are killed in the resulting explosion

I wish the CIA, NSA and other, as yet, unknown three-letter acronyms for intelligence departments which have nothing to do again will find something interesting to do

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, the CIA, NSA and other, as yet, unknown three-letter acronyms for intelligence departments which have nothing to do again found something interesting to do because the previously dead Commies have come back as the undead Commie Zombies and are in the process of scheduling their first world-wide tour

I wish I had tickets

[TarJak]

Granted, but having tickets on yourself isn't that good

I wish I had a pet pangolin

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but you forget to feed it one evening and instead of going looking for ants or termites, it devours you whilst you are sleeping.

I wish proximity issues were always further away.

[NealT]

Granted, your proximity issues got so far away they came back around the curved globe and smacked you upside the head.

I wish the power had not gone out last night.

[Raptor1]

Granted, it went out just now

I wish the power was in the right hands

[Kratos]

I wish the power was in the right hands

Granted: the power is all yours...go for it :lol:

http://i224.photobucket.com/albums/dd320/pasquarade/2-4.jpg


I wish i had a little time?

[Raptor1]

Granted, you had a little time, and you wasted it writing that post

I wish I could spell Laissez Faire

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you can spell Laissez Faire, but you can't go the the Faire at Laissez because the union of Faire workers has gone on strike and sabotaged the Fairess Wheel causing massive destruction and mayhem when the whell fell off of the Fairess and rolled into town crushing several buildings and Laissezians

I wish those Laisezzians could have run faster

[Task Force]

Granted, now you cant stop spelling Laissez Faire, and you get awarded 1,000,000,000 dollars, euros, what ever the currency and have to write speach to get it. sadly all you want to write is Laissez Faire and you get denied for the 1,000,000,000 dollars, euros, what ever the currency so you dont have the 1,000,000,000 dollars, euros, what ever the currency.

I wish I could have Raptors 1,000,000,000 of raptors money.

Darnet DT beet me to it.

[Raptor1]

Granted, the Laissezians ran faster, and they now demand compensation from the contractor (The damned socailists got away with it!), which happens to be Task Force, who is forced to pay his 1,000,000,000 Raptoland Moolahs

I Task Force wouldn't face legal charges over that faulty wheel

[Jimbuna]

Granted, he now faces financial charges, meaning his parents stop his pocket money allowance for the next 5 years.

I wish I wasn't still at work.

[bookworm_020]

Granted, your fired!:stare:

I wish I could feel more motivated at work!

[Task Force]

Granted, you now live at your job.:yep:

I wish bookworms job had better sleeping accomidations.

[Raptor1]

Granted, it has taken over your house during your recent lawsuit and now uses it for sleeping accommodations

I wish Task Force's house is big enough for all the employees

[Jimbuna]

Granted, for all the employees....all two of them.

I wish the bitch sitting opposite me at work would learn to apply her make up properly.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, the bitch sitting opposite you at work learns to apply her make up properly, but she learns by applying it to your face and you subsequently are laughed out of the precinct and the only job you can now find is as a bartender at the "Blue Oyster".

I wish this guy :smug: wasn't so smug

[MothBalls]

Granted, he is no longer smug. Now he's :p "a little too happy" and he forces you to go with him to his now favorite bar, the "Blue Oyster". There you discover the bartender is jimbuna, a cop who was disgraced by your crushed wish, and he handcuffs you to the bar rail, drops your drawers, and sells the patrons rides for $0.25.

I wish I was a time traveler.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but you have no precise control over which time you end up in and you find yourself in the Blue Oyster Bar alongside DT 'having fun'.

I wish I could charge people more than $0.25 for the double act.

[ubootcomrade]

Granted, but its now $0.30 for the double act.


I wish I could film the whole double act fiasco and sell the copys for £500 each.

[MothBalls]

Granted. You film the whole double act fiasco and sell the copies for £500 each. Then you discover DT and MB are minors and jimbuna arrests you for child porno distribution. You are put in a sell with a 300kg hairy guy name 'Miss Bubba'.

I wish I had a handcuff key.

[Task Force]

Granted, but they dont work in the ones you have on.


I wish for a lazer gun.:yep:

[MothBalls]

Granted, you now have a laser gun. Since they are not legal in the UK, you are arrested by jimbuna and cuffed to the bar next to DT and sold for $0.10 per ride.

I wish I had a brain.

[Task Force]

Granted, but it has been used and is no longer working.:yep:

I wish MothBalls brain wasnt all used up.

[TarJak]

Granted, it is no longer used at all for anything other than plotting your destruction

I wish that crush was less evil by a factor of 10

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but a factor of 1000 still exists.

I wish it was Max Factor we were making reference to.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, it is Max Factor we are making reference to, which, BTW happens to be the brand of makeup that the bitch across the desk from you uses as she paints your face (here we go again)

I wish Gummi Bears were really tiny CIA black ops specialists

[TarJak]

Granted, but the've all been eaten

I wish the Wallabies could have been victorious against Wales

[Rockstar]

Granted! VICTORY! with you as their coach. The world marvels, money, endorsements, beautiful women await your hand in marriage. Children everywhere want to grow and be like the Wallabies. Goverments around the world lay down their arms and stand in awe of the Wallabies. Old and young alike rejoice Yes the Wallabies are world champions! world champions unbeatable, invincable. But then you wake up only to find it was a dream and you and the Wallabies are still losers.


I wish for an "Illudium Pu-36 Explosive Space Modulator".

[MothBalls]

Granted, you now have an Illudium Pu-36 Explosive Space Modulator made by the Acme Corporation. The CEO, Mr. B. Bunny, has announced that due to problems involving emerging markets and the global credit crisis, the company has gone bankrupt and you can't get any ammunition.

I wish for the meaning of 42.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, the meaning of 42 is "3 times 14" which means nothing to you

I wish for everyone to have a wonderful Saturday night

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but Saturday couldn't make it, she sends her apologies and her friend Sunday by way of compensation. Unfortanately, Sunday suffers from herpes.

I wish my house blinds could see.

[Raptor1]

Granted, they see EVERYTHING now, including things you might not want seen

I wish the communist spies weren't hiding in my tea cup

[Jimbuna]

Granted, they aren't hiding, they are actually urinating....don't drink the tea.

I wish I could give a cup to the bitch that sits opposite me at work.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you give a cup to the bitch sitting at the desk across from you, but in a psycho moment you give her the cup from your jockstrap which she is now wearing like a hockey mask


I wish the bitch across the desk would get a life and leave Jimbuna alone

[Raptor1]

Granted, but she, now as collaborator with the teacup-tainting communist spy ring, is sent to spy after Jimbuna again soon after

I wish the communist spies weren't such a scourge on the civilized world

[Jimbuna]

Granted, they now 'scrounge' instead, but only on the communist world.

I wish the monster mash was edible.

[Koondawg]

Granted the Monster Mash is now edible...although it consist of lima beans...corn beef hash...homany...and 17 other ingredients that are listed on the FDA's do not eat list...



I wish edible panties didn't cause cavities


KD

[nikimcbee]

Granted the Monster Mash is now edible...although it consist of lima beans...corn beef hash...homany...and 17 other ingredients that are listed on the FDA's do not eat list...



I wish edible panties didn't cause cavities


KD

Granted, instead you get a case of herpes, not so simplex.


I wish I could get mail.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JxazZRfbups&feature=related

[TarJak]

Granted, you've got mail, you've got mail, you've got mail.... ad infinitum.

I wish the sound of the you've got mail message would stop

[NealT]

Granted it does because now all you can hear is the tune of, "We all live in a Yellow Submarine, Yellow Submarine, a Yellow Submarine." ad infinitum.

I wish I had an extra day off this week...

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but it is funday and you end up bored to tears.

I wish novelties were astounding toads.

[TarJak]

Granted, but having astounded several toads with your novelties, you get board and go off to find another animal to confound

I wish confrontation was less confronting

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, confrontation is now less confronting, in fact, it's now comforting, but only in your mind, so you spend the rest of your life comforting yourself with confrontation with others, causing you to lose all of your friends, family and even strangers

I wish TarJak wasn't so confrontational

[Jimbuna]

Granted, he now squirms when ever anyone approaches him and hides under the table.

I wish I had such a photo.

[NealT]

Granted you do, but it makes you so squeamish that you run and hide under the table anytime you think of it.

I wish JB would stop hiding under the table all day and sleeping there all night.

[Raptor1]

Granted, he now hides under the bed

I wish the unwashed masses would wash themselves already

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but they didn't have any soap so they still stink.

I wish my mood would swing differently.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, your mood swings differently, it swings to the beat of "Y.M.C.A." causing you to invariably head back to the "Blue Oyster" for your bartending job

I wish medicine were easier to swallow

[kranz]

granted, they are easier to swallow but they cure no more

I wish emo people were not so ******* stupid

[Raptor1]

Granted, they are now freaking idiots

I wish the myth that laziness can't achieve anything would be shattered forever

[Jimbuna]

Granted, it shatters into a thousand pieces but everyone is too lazy to pick them up.

I wish fantasies were reality.

[Task Force]

granted, you now have a fantisy about you and that fat woman that sits accrost from you......... and now you two are kissing........ and now you dont need to know........:huh: (AAAAAHHHHH gotta get that image out of my head!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

I wish I could get that image out of my head, its scary.:/\\!!

[Raptor1]

Granted, but the process involves invasive brain surgery

I wish I could perform the invasive brain surgery on TF

[Koondawg]

Granted you are able to perform the invasive brain surgery on TF, however you have 8 thumbs and two left hands. You really cant tell his ars from his head and acually end up performing a colostomy. He now has to carry glad ziplock bags with him for life.


I wish we could hook up TJ with the fat bitch across from Jimbo...


KD

[TarJak]

Granted, you have made the hook up but in doing so the FBTSAFJ becomes infatuated with you and decides to stalk you until you relent and let her have her way with you

I wish Koondawg and the FBTSAFJ live together happily ever after

[NealT]

They do, in your house forcing you to become the new FBTSAFJ.

I wish I didn't feel so rotten today...

[Koondawg]

Ok you wished it...Granted you feel fresh as a Mid Summers Eve douche...although you will spend the rest of the month and the holiday season smelling like salmon...the other pink meat :lol:


I wish I had the abilty to not crush that dream like that...:up:

KD

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you crush it like this, "Granted you feel fresh as a Mid Summers Eve douche...although you will spend the rest of the month and the holiday season smelling like tuna...the other grey meat"

I wish I hadn't just had a macaroni and tuna casserole for dinner:hmm:

[ubootcomrade]

Granted, you just had 2 macaroni and tuna casseroles for dinner, enjoy :p

I wish I was a U-boat

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but your pressure hull fails, and you sink into the crushing black depths of the Mediterranean Sea.

I wish that I could kill anyone by simply saying their name 3 times consecutively whilst looking at something they own.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but you practice your newly acquired power using a mirror and suffer the obvious consequences.

I wish poverty was abolished.

[TarJak]

Granted, its been abolished to South Shields

I wish South Shields had less poverty than it now does

[Koondawg]

Granted South Shields had less poverty than it now does because out of the 15,000 homeless, 9500 of them just set up portable tent housing in your yard. You are now known as the "Great Provider".

I wish TJ installs facilities for the homeless...

KD

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but it is for homeless kangaroos.

I wish the cold was warm.

[Raptor1]

Granted, the cold war just turned very warm, time to greet the nuclear dawn

I wish people would quit calling the psychologist when I warn them about the international communist conspiracy

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, people quit calling the psychologist when you warn them about the international communist conspiracy, they now call the psychiatrist who sends the men in the white jackets out after you as you sing "They're coming to take me away, Ha Ha" incessantly

I wish I could get that song out of my head in a painless and non-invasive manner without having to replace it with "We all live in a Yellow Submarine"

[NealT]

Granted, it happens, just as TJ comes along and the song goes into his head but he is drunk and sings it out loud incessantly so that you hear it anyway.

I wish tomorrow were payday.

[ubootcomrade]

Granted, but you get paid in buttons.

I wish I was a cannibalistic communist who was leader of the international communist plot

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but it's dinner time and you are on your followers menu.

I wish someone would pass the salt.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but the salt has been mined with 300 kilograms of TNT by the counter-revolutionary vegetarian conspiracy and the whole complex comes crashing down

I wish I was well clear of the blast area and the wave of panicked civilians

[NealT]

You are, you are standing in the middle of Mars without a spacesuit and therefore your blood freezes but you are still well clear of the blast...

I wish I got paid in gold...

[Jimbuna]

Granted, all the gold chocolate coins are yours.

I wish my toffee hammer was edible.

[TarJak]

Granted, but you now have a severe pain in your stomach as you try to digest both the toffee and the hammer

I wish for another

[Task Force]

granted, but it gets lodged in your throught and you choke to death.

I wish for something that i dont know now so I cant wish it so id know,and would no longer know so I dont have to think about what I wisk i knew.:p (lots of words.... I know.):rotfl:

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you get something that you dont know now so you cant wish it so you'd know,and would no longer know so you dont have to think about what you wisk you knew, but what you get is a pink tu-tu and a trip to the ballet school

I wish I had a camera for the ballet lesson

[Task Force]

Granted, ill take the pictures your do the danceing.:lol: better you than me.lol

I wish it was a excivator ballet. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYzAJviXr0Y

[Jimbuna]

Granted, you get something that you dont know now so you cant wish it so you'd know,and would no longer know so you dont have to think about what you wisk you knew, but what you get is a pink tu-tu and a trip to the ballet school

I wish I had a camera for the ballet lesson

Granted, but someone behind you has a movie camera and you are uncovered as the neighbourhood pervert everyone has been looking for since two years back.

I wish for the movie in 3D.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you get the movie in 3D, but the 3 Ds are Dumb, Dumber and Even Dumber (which is the sequel to Dumb and Dumber) and it's even dumber than the first one

I wish for a fortified bagel with lochs and cream cheese and a moat around it with razor wire around that and .50 cal machine gun nests and an anti-missile system so no one else could get it

[NealT]

Granted, but you build it on the edge of the Lake and when the earthquake comes...you guessed it, it falls down into the water and impales the ancient Loch Ness monster and ending the legend, driving the citizens mad whereby they give you a one time good deal by showing you just how the ancient tradition of 'draw and quarter' really works first hand.

I wish the dogs did not have fleas.

[Raptor1]

Granted, they have miniature T-72 tanks instead

I wish I knew if there was something wrong with our bloody ships today

[MothBalls]

Granted, you now know there is is something wrong with our bloody ships today. 5 seconds later you forgo what it was.

I wish I had a magic lamp with a genie in it. Specifically THIS one.

http://www.fiftiesweb.com/tv/i-dream-of-jeannie-0499.jpg

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but your mom takes the day off because she is unwell and I appear in her place.

http://img517.imageshack.us/img517/2430/thgenie9hyoj8gx1.gif

I wish talk was cheap.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but doomsayers soon lead the public to believe that talk is running out, spreading panic and causing it to become a valuable commodity

I wish I could make a ton of money off this new talk thing

[MothBalls]

Granted. You are reincarnated as Oprah.

I wish I had MY genie back, not the one with old man balls.

[TarJak]

You get your old genie back but that wish was your third and so you have none left

I wish talk was more expensive and action was cheap

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but because of your financial situation you become a mute pavement mime artist.

I wish my I could invent the itch that couldn't be scratched.

[TarJak]

Granted, however you invented in your jockstrap.

I wish Jim would get TS working again.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, Jim gets TS working again, but it is infested with 12 year old game-studs who talk incessantly about pwnage and sheet like that there

I wish the Loch Ness monster was really the Elliott Ness monster

[Jimbuna]

It was but after eating all the mobsters it retired to Scotland for a lifetime diet of haggis.

I wish TJ would hang about for more than 13 seconds in future.

[Raptor1]

Granted, he hangs on the noose for more time, thereby increasing the pain in this already gruesome execution

I wish I knew what TJ was executed for

[MothBalls]

Granted. You now know he was executed for shortchanging people at jimbuna's bar, The Blue Oyster.

I wish freedom was free.

[TarJak]

Granted, it is free to leave any time it likes and takes the opportunity for you as soon as the cops come to take you away.

I wish I'd hung around for more than 13 seconds.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, you would have met one or two interesting people.

I wish time was on my side.

[Koondawg]

Granted Jimbo time is on your side...although the FB that is sitting across from you is the barrier...you must conquest her in order to be next to time...you overcome and conquer...although it takes you two days hiking and catching a bus and a train to get there and never see the same side of her...you finally have time on your side

I wish the dumbass contractor building the house 4 doors down hadn't cut my phone and DSL line last Monday thus killing my internet and phone service...and thus should be held accountable for the weeks service I have been without

KD

[Jimbuna]

Granted, he cut your power supply instead and your unable to power up your pc anyway.

I wish I could slip the contractor a few $, just for the sheer fun of it :lol:

[Raptor1]

Granted, but the contractor informs the police of attempted bribery and you are taken away to jail

I wish the contractor knew that Jimbuna wasn't trying to bribe him

[kranz]

Granted, he knew it wasn't a bribe, he informed them because of sexual harassment.

I wish details of this story would never be revealed.

[Jimbuna]

granted, someone discloses the details instead.

I wish for full disclosure.

[NealT]

Granted, but when the cops see you, they arrest you for indecent exposure.

I wish my wife would stop talking to my daughter on the phone and causing me to have to go take her places at 1100PM when I have to be at work by 0500AM.

[Raptor1]

Granted, your wife now talks to your daughter on the telegraph and causes you to take her places at 23:00 while you have to be in the iron factory in 04:00, and the horses are sleeping so you'll have to do it on foot

I wish I wished a wish without wishing a wish, or so

[NealT]

Granted but then a big steamroller comes from around the bend and crushes your wish that you sewed.

I wish I understood exactly what was being said.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted you understood exactly what was being said, but now that you do, it drives you totally insane and you spend the rest of your life locked in a rubber room, wearing a straight jacket, drooling and humming Elvis Costello tunes

I wish NealT would quit humming, it's driving me crazy

[ubootcomrade]

Granted, he starts singing....badly

I wish for a fish on a dish

[ubootcomrade]

Granted, he starts singing....badly

I wish for a fish on a dish

[Raptor1]

Granted, you now have 2 fishes on 2 plates, but since the communists control Ubootcomradegrad now, you are forced to share your 2 fish with the government and everyone else in the vicinity

I wish communists weren't so cruel

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, Communists aren't so cruel now, they are so diabolical

I wish Ubootcomradegrad would revolt over its communist oppressors

[geetrue]

I wish Ubootcomradegrad would revolt over its communist oppressors

Granted, but the policital officer that was overthrown becomes the head of the KGB garnering enough support to put down the revolt and go on to serve as the Czar of Russia for the next 12 years.


I wish I had enough money to get a Wii console with the new fitness add on ... I think I would like that :yep:

[Rockstar]

I wish Ubootcomradegrad would revolt over its communist oppressors

Granted, but the policital officer that was overthrown becomes the head of the KGB garnering enough support to put down the revolt and go on to serve as the Czar of Russia for the next 12 years.


I wish I had enough money to get a Wii console with the new fitness add on ... I think I would like that :yep:

Granted, But you were not home when UPS arrived and it was left at your front door. A nosey neighbor sees the box and calls the police, they send for EOD who destroy the contents using a 12.5 mm recoiless disrupter. Upon seeing EOD's handy work you are unaware of the herd of elephants frightened by the blast heading your way... Waking up in the hospital you realize how stupid it was to get a Wii with a fitness add-on.


I wish I had a spaceship with laser guns

[Raptor1]

Granted, but the advent of energy shielding has made laser guns all but useless, and you are quickly overwhelmed by your opponent's railgun-armed spaceships

I wish Rockstar would hit the escape pod already

[Koondawg]

Granted Rockstar hits the escape pod but that isnt all the hitting about to take place...since Chuck Norris likes to hit things you and him are now into an all out brawl...reminds bystanders of a bad Billy Jack movie. However the roundhouse that is placed upside your head rattles and causes aftershocks throughout 5 surrounding states. Your in a coma for 2 years and need surgery to replace the left side of your face...which now resides 30 miles east of eden. When you come out of the coma the escape pod has been outdated.

I wish Billy Jack movies would make a comeback...


KD

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but whilst he was away he underwent a sex change operation and your wife returns home from work unexpectedly just as you press play on the DVD player........I leave the resultant consequences to your imagination.

I wish I had a ringside seat to watch the ensuing developments.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you have a ringside seat to watch the ensuing developments, but the members of the "Village People" are in the seats surrounding yours incessantly singing Y.M.C.A during the show and you don't get to watch much so you head back to your bartending job at the Blue Oyster

I wish the rain fell mainly in the plain in Spain instead of in my yard today

[Raptor1]

Granted, but now the magic beans you planted will not grow and you couldn't loot all the gold in the giant's house in the sky with your roving gang of horseback marauders

I wish I had a roving gang of (loyal) gold-stealing horseback marauders

[kranz]

Granted, they are all yours but they can't distinguish between copper and gold.

I wish I shared my room with Gina Wild.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, put what's the point....one of her suitors poked you in both eyes with a certain part of their anatomy making you blind.

I wish my xmas presents would arrive early.

[Rockstar]

Granted, put what's the point....one of her suitors poked you in both eyes with a certain part of their anatomy making you blind.

I wish my xmas presents would arrive early.

Granted, you may wish all you want for it to happen. But nothing will arrive because nobody likes you well enough to send any.

I wish i was the life of the party.

[NealT]

Granted, you are...in hades...

I wish I did not have to be in at 0300 in the morning...

[Koondawg]

Granted you wish you didn't have to be in at 0300 in the morning...but then you would miss the yard time you get in a prison named Hades...thus missing Rockstar being the life of the party in C block.

I wish yard time meant mowing the yard...

KD

[Jimbuna]

Granted, you mow the yard whilst I drink the yard...of ale and watch you sweat.

I wish I knew the angle of the dangle.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you now know the angle of the dangle, but now that you know, it's so depressing that yadayadayada

I wish yadayadayada was a real word

[Rockstar]

Granted, IT IS A REAL WORD and has been since 1980, you wasted a completely good wish and subsim bandwidth.
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/yada+yada


I wish I wasn't such a genius but still smarter than the rest of you.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, your now smarter than anyone else here. In fact your as smart as a guard...a mudguard.

I wish my menu was tastier.

[Raptor1]

Granted, the menu is tastier, but paper is not good for your health

I wish to crush and destroy your wish

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you crush and destroy your wish

I wish that spaceship hadn't come last night and abducted my neighbor

[Jimbuna]

Granted, it abducted you instead.

I wish you peace and tranquility on your interstellar journey.

[Task Force]

granted, sadly they hit uranus and dont even get out of the Galixy.:yep:

I wish the sun would not turn supernova.

[UnderseaLcpl]

granted, sadly they hit uranus and dont even get out of the Galixy.:yep:

I wish the sun would not turn supernova.


Granted, it will turn into a Red Giant and swalllow the inner planets before collapsing into a dwarf star, the same way it was always going to.

I wish Dr. Pepper could be made and sold more cheaply without sacrificing quality.

[NealT]

It can, but then the profit takers step in and the government refuses to bail them out, they go bankrupt, and the product is lost forever.

I wish it were not necessary for me to work today...

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, it is not necessary for you to work today because you have been sacked and are now destined to be destitute and grovel for coins on the sidewalk of a grubby street for at least a day and a half

I wish that day and a half would go by quickly for NealT and that little Timmy would get his operation and that Dorothy would get back to Kansas and the cowardly Lion would get a heart and the tin man would get a brain and the Wizard would Wiz forever that the Falcons would win the Super Bowl

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but that final part only confirms the fact your dreaming.

I wish my nightmares were as funny as DT's dreams.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but the happy pills you take every day mean you don't have nightmares

I wish Jimbuna stopped taking happy pills

[Jimbuna]

Granted, he now takes happy baccy instead.

I wish I had more of what I just thought of.

[Task Force]

Granted now you have became addicted and take twice what your surspost too

I wish Jimbuna didnt need those happy pills.

[Rockstar]

Granted, Jimbuna is off the the happy pills, but now he's gone out to the local goat farm drunk, alone and depressed lookin' for love.


I wish my buttocks were firmer.

[Koondawg]

Granted your buttocks are firmer...but that doesn't make the opening any more secure. Bubba your new friend from Joliet actually finds that the firmness of your buttocks makes it easier to grab and hold on two...he rides you like a quarter pony outside a drugstore...

I wish reformatting wasn't so time consuming...

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, reformatting is no longer time consuming, it now turns your computer into a steaming pile of camel dung in no time flat

I wish camel dung didn't steam

[Raptor1]

Granted, it sails instead

I wish the British hadn't so foolishly followed my Torpedo Boats into the range of the Ostend shore batteries

[Jimbuna]

Granted, it was those silly Frenchmen.

I wish I had those great balls of fire.

[kranz]

Granted, with the exception they are IN, not OF.

I wish you had a fire extinguisher.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, he has a fire extinguisher, but the safety pin is so firmly in place that by the time he removes it he has great balls of bacon

I wish all the politicians on earth would be instantly transported to Uranus and probed incessantly by smelly, slimy, gross looking aliens for an eternity and a half

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but I bet you wished you had turned down that Senators job you were offered last week now.

I wish aliens were anally retentive.

[UnderseaLcpl]

Granted, but I bet you wished you had turned down that Senators job you were offered last week now.

I wish aliens were anally retentive.


Granted, they abduct you and retain your anus for extensive probing

I wish Pop-tarts were good for you

[NealT]

They are great for me...but deadly for you...

I wish it were just a tad bit warmer this morning...

[Raptor1]

Granted, it is just a tad bit warmer than water's boiling temprature

I wish it was a lot colder this morning

[Jimbuna]

Granted, your now living in the ice age....happy now.

I wish tempers weren't so short.

[NealT]

Granted, they are nonexistent so that they do not get mad, they just blow your head off without warning.

I wish it were not quite as cold as it is this morning...

[Jimbuna]

Granted, it is now absolutely freezing as per the morning before.

I wish the boot was on the other foot.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, the boot is on the other foot, the one that the biatch across the desk just planted up yer bum for not giving her a lap dance at the Christmas party

I wish wishes were more crush resistant

[NealT]

Granted they are, except for yours, JB's, Raptors, TF's, Koon's, etc, etc.,etc...

I wish it were not Monday...

[Jimbuna]

Granted, it's actually Wednesday....and your late for work.

I wish the bitch that sits opposite me at work had not met my daughter this morning......she may need therapy now.

[NealT]

Granted, that bitch went to the shrink after meeting your daughter and he said she did not need therapy...your daughter does.

I wish JB would stop messing up his life with foolish wishes...

[kranz]

Granted, his wishes are pretty clever now but still brutally crushed into dust.

I wish that therapist was on vacation.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but only in the mind of that bitch sitting opposite jimbuna at work.

I wish the vacation location was Bikini Atoll.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted the therapist goes on vacation at the Bikini Atoll, but he's hard of hearing and ends up at a little country famous for it's naked women called No Bikini At All

I wish I was vacationing there, too

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but the site of you cavorting about the beach scares everyone into leaving and you spend the rest of your holiday 'playing' with yourself.

http://i224.photobucket.com/albums/dd320/pasquarade/Belly.gif

I wish to take a leak.

[Raptor1]

Granted, your submarine is now leaking, and Bernard misplaced the only screwdriver that fits in BdU's radio room

I wish you would be more aggressive

[NealT]

Granted, he becomes more aggressive and takes a leak on your computer, causing it to fry.....

I wish I had more credit...

[MothBalls]

Granted. You receive an unlimited line of credit, from Lehman Brothers (http://www.lehman.com/)

I wish I knew what "Location: 2 Meters Below Jimbuna" meant.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, now you know what "Location: 2 Meters Below Jimbuna" means, but now that you know, you must be terminated with extreme prejudice by NealT

I wish MothBalls hadn't wished the deadly wish

[A Very Super Market]

Hmm... this sounds like fun..


Granted, but because he didn't know where it was, he stumbles upon it by accident and has to be terminated with extreme prejudice anyways.

I wish I knew what to wish for..

[Koondawg]

Granted you go out on a limb and wish youself (outloud) to have the 2nd immaculate conseption...although while you wish this wish your in cell block C and bunk with a 300# cell mate named Tywan. He complys...making sure your adorned with all the Christmas egg nog anyone human would want...your now known as 'One who needs a wheelchair to get around'

I wish Christmas cheer was a toastin of beer mugs between one another..

KD

[Aramike]

Granted, but Microsoft's Internet Explorer security is so bad that, through your computer, someone broke into your fridge and poisoned the beer supply.

I wish I had a remote starter on my car.

[A Very Super Market]

Granted, it was made by the Joker's henchmen. Congradulations on your new death.

I wish for some apple juice and some grapes

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you get the apple juice in the form of an enema and the grapes are stuffed in all available bodily orifices

I wish amateurish angelfish would contradistinguish the cockneyish buffalofish

[NealT]

Granted, JB does and now you are a stupid little blowfish that talks funny...

I wish the sleet outside was snow instead.

[A Very Super Market]

Granted, you now live in Fort Nelson. The snow is now 20 feet tall and all phone lines and internet is down.

I wish that my cereal didn't taste so horrible

[kranz]

Granted,your cereal is delicious but the milk went sour.

I wish the bitch I met two years ago would die a very painful death

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, the bitch you met two years ago dies a very painful death by dousing you and she both with gasoline and setting you both on fire

I wish I wasn't a stupid little blowfish that talks funny any more

[Jimbuna]

Granted, your now a stupid large Blowfish that talks funny.

I wish all blowfish were tasty enough to be baked in a pie.....but only after being slowly roasted on a spit over an open fire.

[Koondawg]

Granted...but oh my gosh here I go crushing someone whom I care abouts dream...

You wish all blowfish were tasty enough to be baked in a pie.....but only after being slowly roasted on a spit over an open fire. Granted but all blowfish need to be filled by the FB sitting across from you and during business hours. You are having to hand her 100 BF from a basket that has been sitting since high noon yesterday. They are slowly roasted over an open fire and baked into her muffin pie...which has enough yeast to raise the Titanic...you partake in the pie finding yourself consumed in the crust asking her to marry you in the meley...you now reside in Oakland, Ca and your first born is named Muhammad...who later goes on to fly a RC plane into the Sonic drive in creating a new dish...Deep fryed Balsa.

I wish Christmas would mean beeming all your buds to your house for a weekend of drinking, eating, throwing up, and partying...:rock:

KD

[Digital_Trucker]

I wish Christmas would mean beeming all your buds to your house for a weekend of drinking, eating, throwing up, and partying...:rock:

KD

You might want to reverse the order of the last two, though:rotfl:

[Jimbuna]

Granted...but oh my gosh here I go crushing someone whom I care abouts dream...

You wish all blowfish were tasty enough to be baked in a pie.....but only after being slowly roasted on a spit over an open fire. Granted but all blowfish need to be filled by the FB sitting across from you and during business hours. You are having to hand her 100 BF from a basket that has been sitting since high noon yesterday. They are slowly roasted over an open fire and baked into her muffin pie...which has enough yeast to raise the Titanic...you partake in the pie finding yourself consumed in the crust asking her to marry you in the meley...you now reside in Oakland, Ca and your first born is named Muhammad...who later goes on to fly a RC plane into the Sonic drive in creating a new dish...Deep fryed Balsa.


KD

ROFLMAO :rotfl:

Merry Xmas my friend http://www.psionguild.org/forums/images/smilies/wolfsmilies/santa.gif

Carry on everyone.

[Task Force]

what was his wish again. lol:rotfl:

Granted. but sadly the wisher is left out.

I wish I could go back to 4th bell today.:yep:

[TarJak]

Granted, but at 4th bell you lose the power to post at subsim for 125 years.

I wish I could have stayed on holiday for another two weeks

[Task Force]

Granted, and because the company owner didn't approve of it, you now have a perminate vacation .

I wish to be back in 4th bell back on Friday December 19th at 8:21AM, and my teacher had the same lesson plans, and I still had the ability subsim posting, and could still log in. And that this wish had a uncrushable steel/concreet barier surounding it so it couldnt be crushed by anybody or thing anywhere.

[Koondawg]

Ok...if you wish

You wish to be back in 4th bell back on Friday December 19th at 8:21AM, and your teacher had the same lesson plans, and you still had the ability subsim posting, and could still log in. And that this wish had a uncrushable steel/concreet barrier surounding it so it couldnt be crushed by anybody or thing anywhere.
Granted...your back in 4th bell which is located in the local chapel. Inside hanging from the gong inside...at 830am it will ring 32 times banging your head from side to side in remembrance of the lesson the teacher had...32 times for 32 pages...you upon thinking your dream was uncrushable are dropped from the tower bell on your head...your in a coma for 15 years in the steel/concrete barrier you wished your uncrushable wish from...You Doctor Muhammad, born from a marriage earlier is now your Doctor...his special is Proctology...and he likes remotes...

I wish Jimbuna had never had a kid named Muhammed...


KD

[Task Force]

granted now his kids name is Mu.

i wish life came with a temperature control knob, so I can change the temperature around me.

[Koondawg]

Granted you wish life came with a temperature control knob, so you can change the temperature around you. Although you forget right is hot and left is cold...you of course turn it left...
Your frostbite nibbles at all your extensions...rendering you a dwarf.
You are now a start on the hit show "Little People Big World". You will later on become a grammy winner in the porn movie..."Little Cowboys big Steers".

I wish we would have a few more wish crushers in here...


KD

[Task Force]

Granted your wish is crushed and then they leave.

I wish I had a time machine to send loondawg into the Jurassic period of the development of earth.

[Koondawg]

I wish I had a time machine to send loondawg into the Jurassic period of the development of earth.

Granted you send loondawg into the Jurassic period of the devlopment of earth...Although KOONDAWG is your bianary consultant you still need to be able to spell check after posts...your now stuck in a library in Glascow with the FB Jimbo divorced studying the metabolic period during late hours...she shows you her muffin pie which was never finished..and upon consuming you fall in love...You are now her muffin man and follow her to Los Angeles, Ca only to have 2 children named moo-moo, and weasel. You start a petting zoo with your kids as a main attraction...

I wish dinner was ready...

KD

[A Very Super Market]

Dinner is ready! But it is something you hate eating. Yourself


I wish my avatar would LEAVE

[Task Force]

granted, but a keelhualed avatar comes to take its place.

I wish I had a time machine to send Koondawg into the Jurassic period of earths development. (got the name right this time.)

[NealT]

Granted you do, but being a man, you fail to read the instructions - push the wrong button - and send yourself and the FB Jimbo always talks about back to the future where you two become the infamous Adam and Eve - causing mankind's destruction once the theology scholars and anthropologists find out this fact.

I wish this were not so much fun in the morning hours...

[Jimbuna]

Granted, the evening hours will have to do then.

I wish santa would hurry up.

[kranz]

Granted, Santa will hurry up but you are not on his list.

I wish Santa's green little fellows would write your name there

[ubootcomrade]

Granted, but the list is then stolen by a group of elite Ubootcomradeland commandos on a mission to steal santa claus and his elves.


I wish the commandos are sucessful on their mission.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but unbeknownst to you, they are loyal to the deposed communist regime, which uses the list to blackmail you into giving them control of the country again

I wish ubootcomrade's counter-revolution would succeed

[Jimbuna]

Granted, they now suck more seeds than anyone else has ever managed to since records were kept.

I wish your momma would stop calling me.

[Task Force]

Granted, now its your daddy.:yep:

I wish jimbunas phone would get disconnect.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but my mobile/cell is doing just fine.

I wish only adults (18 and above) could post on this thread.

[Task Force]

Granted, but your wish is crushed, I just posted in this thread.

I wish to crush jimbuna`s next dream.

[kranz]

Granted, you crush Jimbuna's wish and then Jimbuna crushes you. Literally.

I wish Jimuna would post here soon.

[Task Force]

Granted, But then he deletes it. so its like he never did.

I wish I could wish the wish of a thousand wishes that never were wished.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, you do most days but nobody really understands what your wishing for.

I wish I knew what the next response is.

[NealT]

Granted you do, but then you forget the question so it does you no good anyway...

I wish JB 's FB would come over to my place and sit on my leech...

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, JB's FB comes over to sit on your leech... but ends up on your face instead

I wish NealT had extremely good health insurance to solve all the problems cause by the above dream-crush

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but he missed last months premium so now he is well and truly knackered.

I wish I could remember where I left my sense of humour.

[Task Force]

Granted, but it you find that it got broke and is not repairable.

I wish Jimbuna could find a replacement.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but it happens to be yours

I wish Jimbuna would get rid of that, ASAP

[Task Force]

Granted, but you didn't clarify what he needed to get rid of.

I wish A vary super market would get rid of that "wild night in Bangkok avatar.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, he passes it on to you.

I wish I owned the world.

[Task Force]

Granted, you also get the trouble along with it, are too stressed out and die a lot younger than you were surspost to.

I wish dream crushing was harder.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, dream crushing is harder, so hard, in fact, that you cause yourself to have a brain hernia the next time you crush a dream and are forced to wear a truss around your head forever and a day

I wish dream crushing was an olympic sport

[Task Force]

Granted, but you cant be in them.

I wish for everyone to have a merry Christmas.:up:

[TarJak]

Granted, but as you recently took up Bhuddism, you will have to dip out this year.

I wish Bhuddists could enjoy Christmas too.

[NealT]

Granted...after Christmas, come back and tell us how you enjoyed it...(by the way, I did not know that you had gone so far as to shave your head...hope it is not too cold)

I wish I had a faster computer...

[Raptor1]

Granted, you computer is now speeding down the highway on a truck belonging to the thieves that stole it

I wish his computer wouldn't outrun the coppers

[Jimbuna]

Granted, it falls off the back of the thieves truck and shatters into ten thousand pieces.

I wish my knowledge was vast.

[kranz]

Granted, it is so vast that it attracts that bitch sitting near you.

I wish your knowledge was vast but not attracted her.