Game: Crush Each Other's Dreams

[Mush Martin]

Granted it will. ( Im married three years now, its covered)
Now i wish I had some Phillo pastry

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you have some Phillo pastry, but the baker misunderstood you and made you Pile-O-Pastry and you have to eat the whole thing

I wish my name was Analog_Unicyclist instead of Digital_Trucker so my fingers would quit getting burned and the world wouldn't go up my butt for a laugh and for anubmiJ to take pictures of

[NealT]

Granted, but then someone figures out how to change your name back, you wind up in jail, and it is not fire going up your.......

I wish Indian food was not so spicy...

[Mush Martin]

granted now everything else tastes like a good lamb vindaloo
from your strawberry pop tarts in the mornin on down.

I wish I could communicate better what the implications
of that crush were.:rotfl:

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, but, once you do, the visions in the heads of the masses cause mass revolt, disgust and a wink or two

I wish it wasn't so cold in the freezer

[Mush Martin]

granted its not so cold but your locked inside and curiously
the sound of niagara falls coming from outside is getting
mysteriously louder moment by moment.

I wish I had said angel falls.

[TarJak]

Granted you said "Angel falls" just as Satan was on his way to have a word with Yaweh about getting better pay and conditions for the himself and now he's down here with us

I wish I could take a break now

[Raptor1]

Granted, but you just broke something very important

I wish TarJak would stop breaking stuff

[asanovic7]

Granted, but too late, he just broke her head..

http://i297.photobucket.com/albums/mm225/asanovic7/ma4.jpg

I wish this is your girlfriend..

[UnderseaLcpl]

Granted, but too late, he just broke her head..

http://i297.photobucket.com/albums/mm225/asanovic7/ma4.jpg

I wish this is your girlfriend..

Granted but she's YOUR wife!

I wish the Star Wars prequels hadn't sucked so badly....

[TarJak]

Granted, they were so much better than the orginals that everybody laughed at the dinky SFX and the crappy dialogue of the old ones. (Hey... wait a minute...isn't that true anyway???:hmm:)

I wish I could carry a tune

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you can carry a tune, but it is the tune of "They're coming to take me away, HAHA" and you carry it in your head forever

I wish I hadn't thought of that 'cause now it's stuck in my head, too:damn:

[Raptor1]

Granted, so you couldn't crush his dream, causing the universe to implode (again)

I wish the universe imploded less often

[UnderseaLcpl]

I wish the universe imploded less often

Granted, you and Randomizer are banned form the thread forever.

I wish for every dream crush hereafter to be written in iambic pentameter.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but only when people here understand what you mean.

I wish it was home time.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but only in your home

I wish humans could live off of only air, water and food

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, but without sex, we all die off

I wish humans could just live off of sex

[STEED]

Granted now you got clap, off to the clap clinic with you.

I wish for a mellow world.

[Jimbuna]

granted, do you want custard on it too.

I wish my elbow would do as I instruct it.

[STEED]

Granted and you won Miss Nude California contest

I wish for chocolate custard on the mellow world.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you get chocolate custard on the mellow world, but it's "organic" chocolate custard:o

I wish that pi was equal to mc squared

[Randomizer]

Granted, but the chocolate custard is flavoured with curry, garlic and olive oil rendering it unpalatable.

I wish the world was made of marshmallows dipped in chocolate sauce.

[Jimbuna]

granted, but some kid eats you.

I wish lunatics were sane.

[STEED]

Granted don't you feel better for that? :lol:

I wish to know the secret to exploding nipples.

[TarJak]

Granted, yours explode causing massive burns to your upper torso and neck. The secret is to not let your nipples explode thereby avoiding horrible burns and years of rehabilitation

I wish chocolate custard was red wine

[NealT]

Granted, but both are full of calories and not good for you so you will either die of liver disease or of a heart attack.

I wish that darned school bus hadn't hit my car today.

[TarJak]

Granted, but your car shouldn't have called that darned school bus a sissy

I wish red wine wasn't full of calories

[STEED]

Granted now it tastes like donkey poo and you love it.

I wish I knew the secret recipe to Coka Cola.

[Mush Martin]

granted you do but everytime you try to make it all you get is american
beer.
(Best crush ever)

I wish we would keep the food and drink out of wishing and crushing
its ruining too many dinners.

[STEED]

Granted now your busy having a sonic crap lasted three months.

I wish Maxi Pop came back, man you could bleach the house down on that pop.

[Mush Martin]

Granted ooops no sorry, that was mini pops all your mp3's are now
mini pops.

I wish I had a worthy comeback for a change.

[STEED]

Granted jimbo will send you his secret to exploding party dolls which should help.

I wish for more wishes and even more and lots more.

[Mush Martin]

Granted but in the way of these things they are granted only to those
other than you.

I Wish for another Stella
and due to a surplus of wishes provided by
steed.

I wish we all had another stella.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but it's a Stella chocolate bar.

I wish freedom was cheap.

[TarJak]

Granted, I'm free to crush your dream

I wish TS had video

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but you'd have to change out of your dress before you logged in.

I wish these curlers in my hair weren't so tight.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, the curlers in your hair aren't so tight, they're ever so tight

I wish curlers were made out of anchovies

[Raptor1]

Granted, but nobody would eat them

I wish that would get over there and do this

[Jimbuna]

Granted, it got there and did it.

I wish my insight was on the outside.

[UnderseaLcpl]

Granted, it got there and did it.

I wish my insight was on the outside.


Granted, your insight is now visible to all and they mock you ceaselessly for you short-sightedness and idiocy.

I wish that the inevitable crush of this dream would be really funny.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but not nearly as funny as the next one

I wish the inevitable crush of this dream would be funny

[geetrue]

I wish that the inevitable crush of this dream would be really funny.

Granted, but everyone is laughing so much at your Irish funeral and you can't understand a word they say, due to how terrible you feel inside of your coffin. :dead:

[TarJak]

And your wish is???:hmm:

Oh well consider it crushed anyway.

I wish geetrue had wished for something substantial so the crush was worth it

[NealT]

Granted, but he did and since it was written in invisible ink, you just were not able to see it.

I wish mushrooms had more taste.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, mushrooms have more taste. They taste a lot like the dung they grow in.

I wish dung tasted better

[Randomizer]

Granted, dung now tastes like vindaloo. Or is it the other way around?

I wish that the pizza delivery guy would hurry up and get here with supper.

[TarJak]

Granted, but your order was for a dung flavoured vindaloo pizza right?

I wish my kids were ready

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but it turns out they weren't ready, and they die in the Ring of Death whilst fighting Thorjborg.

I wish that I was the Man of the Hour.

[Mush Martin]

Granted you are voted unanimously man of the hour on the obsure
pacific island of Pago Pago where the Cannabalistic natives honour
the man of the hour by serving him as the main course at the honours
dinner. this way the tribe can integrate his greatness into all of them.
meaning they are easily duped into eating their entire peoples out
of existence.

I wish I knew the significance of consequentialism in a metaphysical
universe.

[Diopos]

...
I wish I knew the significance of consequentialism in a metaphysical
universe.

Granted... but then God revealed to you that his true intention was to create a physical universe not a metaphysical one!

I wish I knew better!

[Jimbuna]

Granted, you now know better than you, but nobody else.

I wish this bed would make itself.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, your bed makes itself in fine military, coin bouncing form, but you are in it at the time and, since the sheets are tucked so tightly your entire body is compressed to the point that you can't breathe and in a psychedelic haze of oxygen deprivation, you suffocate

I wish the world wasn't so round

[STEED]

Granted its now wibble wobble shape and you just upset many people.

I wish the EU to be nuked off the face of the planet.

[STEED]

Granted STEED

:D

[STEED]

I wish for the whole world would take a bath in jam.

[NealT]

Granted Steed, but then the mosquitoes come, bite everyone, we all get infected with some nefarious disease, and die.

I wish I weren't so stupid when playing with my Commodo Firewall...

[Raptor1]

Granted, you have been stupid when playing with your Russian-built Nuclear Reactor

I wish the world was made out of high-fat cheese

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, the new wibble wobble shaped world is now made out of high fat cheese, so high in fat that it is actually lard and due to global warming, not very solid. We all sink to the center of the new wibble wobble shaped lard world and drown in fat by-products

I wish lard wasn't such a yucky word

[STEED]

Granted now its called love cream and you get to lick it off a fat womens buttocks.

I wish the world turn blue overnight and everyone drinks sea weed beer.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but when the tide goes out we all get thirsty again.

I wish my time had come.

[STEED]

Granted tune in to BBC1 for This is Your Life and pay the BBC £2000.

I wish the world was a mellow shade of Yellow and everyone was cool. :cool:

[Jimbuna]

Granted, you can become a melon.

I wish I made more sense.

[Mush Martin]

Sadly there are somethings even miracles cannot provide
for.....request rejected here's a trout.


I wish I had a trout.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you have a trout. It's firmly entrenched in your left nostril and it's still alive (temporarily)

I wish I had a picture of that

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but it turns out the picture has been Photoshopped.

I wish that I could be on the Titanic.

[SS107.9MHz]

Granted, you star on James Cameron's sequel, Titanic RETURNS, where a living dead army led by a seaweedy Di Caprio tries to take over the world. Unfortunately You're first scene is posing in the nude so that the undead Di caprio can paint U, and then proceed to make sweet dead lovin' with you...He then eats your brains.

I wish I knew what's the purpose of meaning

[Raptor1]

Granted, it has no purpose

I wish for a Frigate of 20 guns

[UnderseaLcpl]

I wish for a Frigate of 20 guns

Granted, but it is sunk shortly when confronted with the U-Boat crewed by gorgeous, intelligent women that I am about to wish upon myself.

I wish I had a type IX U-boat crewed by gorgeous, intelligent women and captained by me.

[TarJak]

Granted, The gorgeous intelligent women who crew your uboat are intelligent enough to mutiny and set you adrift on a life raft

I wish I had a better line

[Jimbuna]

Granted, The gorgeous intelligent women who crew your uboat are intelligent enough to mutiny and set you adrift on a life raft

I wish I had a better line

Granted, but it is a fishing line.

I wish the bitch I sit opposite to at work is off sick when I arrive today.

[UnderseaLcpl]

I wish the bitch I sit opposite to at work is off sick when I arrive today.

Granted, but it's because you gave her HIV.

I wish jimbuna had used a condom.

[Mush Martin]

Granted he did on you but it busted

I wish I had a bagel.

[TarJak]

Granted, however it was sitting under Jim's condom when it broke

I wish I could go fishing instead of going to work tomorrow

[Mush Martin]

Granted but you fish off of shark Island and as you are baiting
your first hook a great white leaps over the boat and returns
to the sea on the otherside along with your head sporting
a very astonished look.


I wish I didnt have this bagel anymore.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, and since you've scoffed it all....you don't have it any more.

I wish my order from France would arrive.

[SS107.9MHz]

Granted, your orders are to clean the toilets

Wish I'd be 7 years younger

[Jimbuna]

Granted, welcome back to your mothers womb.

I wish fire didn't burn.

[STEED]

Granted now you can insert it up your nose.

I wish TV adverts were banned for life.

[Raptor1]

Granted, causing the world economy to collapse and the communists to rule the earth

I wish STEED didn't send us to our doom

[Jimbuna]

Granted, he only sent you.

I wish there was no smoke without fire.

[Tango589]

Granted, he only sent you.

I wish there was no smoke without fire.

Granted, but every cigarette lit ends up as a raging inferno.

I wish my cats were lolcats.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but deyr in ur hed, chuwing ur brainz!

I wish I knew how to do the lolcat thing better

[Mush Martin]

Granted after being wrongfully convicted of a crime you didn't
commit you are put in solitary confinement for life, and get
lots of time to practice however it does you little good with
no humans or communications to interact with. eventually in
order to develop some more significant relationships in your situation
you decide to become the progenitor of the LOLcockroach thing.

I wish I could remember what a dangling participle was.

[Tango589]

Granted after being wrongfully convicted of a crime you didn't
commit you are put in solitary confinement for life, and get
lots of time to practice however it does you little good with
no humans or communications to interact with. eventually in
order to develop some more significant relationships in your situation
you decide to become the progenitor of the LOLcockroach thing.

I wish I could remember what a dangling participle was.

Granted, but it's dangling over your head ready to drop and land with a wet splat.

I wish solar-powered torches worked at night.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but they don't have half the effect of real torches wielded by an angry mob

I wish an angry mob would come to my friend's house

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but your arrested for inciting a breach of the peace.

I wish my arrest record could be obliterated and I could start again, but on twice the salary and only half the danger.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, your arrest record is obliterated and you get to start over again at twice the salary and half the danger, but your salary is now paid in lard and the half danger you have to face is the biatch that sits across from you

I wish I could figure out how much lard Jimbuna's salary was

[Jimbuna]

Granted, your arrest record is obliterated and you get to start over again at twice the salary and half the danger, but your salary is now paid in lard and the half danger you have to face is the biatch that sits across from you

I wish I could figure out how much lard Jimbuna's salary was

granted, but then Gordon Brown would award less than the 1.9% pay rise he awarded earlier this year.

I wish dandruff was fashionable for bald men.

[Mush Martin]

Granted :rotfl: Knowing that hes a policeman in the UK, I would say about
a cup of lard would likely cover what the poor buggers are paid.
Sadly though, this doesnt actually save you from the fresh hot cup of steaming pig fat your going to drink instead of your morning coffee
tomorrow. (special thanks to Rob Schnieder for that)

I wish to watch down periscope.

M

[Raptor1]

Granted, but as your periscope is down you fail to spot that Destroyer making a run on you and you sink

I wish Mush remembered to up periscope

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, Mush's periscope is given a Viagra, but it suffers from priapism and he can't get it down for hours and is therefore spotted by the DD anyway and is sunk

I wish my sub had aft fartpedo tubes

[Raptor1]

Granted, but the overwhelming smell and unignorable noise draws every DD, Corvette, Subchaser, Sloop, Escort Carrier Hunter-Killer group and fishing trawler in the hemisphere towards your sub, have fun

I wish for a fast ship for I intend to run away from the coppers

[Platapus]

I wish for a fast ship for I intend to run away from the coppers

Granted, you have a very fast ship. However, being on land all that happens is some scraping while the coppers slowly walk up to you.

I wish the Frau would cook me some dinner. She was home from work all day :nope:

[TarJak]

Granted, you get skat on toast

I wish I owned a private navy

[Koondawg]

Granted and you now own the Canadian Navy...which consists of two canoes and a rowboat.

I wish I hadn't had to come back to work...


KD

[Jimbuna]

Granted, you needn't have because it is closed down for scheduled maintenance and you are the only one that visits.

I wish this bitch sitting opposite me at work would have a shave.

[Koondawg]

Granted but then her beaver would look like Willie Nelson...so which is really worse?


I wish that pigeons would fly south for the winter

[Mush Martin]

Granted all pigeons on the continent north of your house move
south to your house for the winter.

I wish I already had a full transcript of archimede's "the method"

[Koondawg]

GRANTED! But then you wouldn't need Ho Chens book of 1001 sexual positions to satisfy your mate..


I wish I could find my ID badge...

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but it never moved, it was always pinned to your chest.

I wish I could get my hands on the bastid that bumped into my new car whilst I was at work.

[TarJak]

Granted, but your get tired of holding onto yourself

I wish AK47's were freely available to all

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but then I get arrested for murdering the bastid that bumped my new car whilst I was at work.

I wish murder for car bumpers wasn't a criminal offence in the UK.

[Raptor1]

Granted, it's a criminal offense in the new world-empire that rules the UK

I wish the LHC doom-sayers would die

[Tango589]

Granted, it's a criminal offense in the new world-empire that rules the UK

I wish the LHC doom-sayers would die

Granted, they die when they are proved right and the LHC implodes the universe.

I wish I could press the big red START button to turn on the LHC.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but the Red Button is the one that turns on the air conditioner, not the accelerator

I wish I hadn't walked right into the last one

[Mush Martin]

Granted due to an accident involving a particle accellerator a rubber band
and a liquid lunch, you are caught in a causality loop and run into headlong
repeatedly at the speed of light for as long as we can maintain power.

I wish I had a liquid lunch and a particle accelerator.:hmm:

[Jimbuna]

Gtanted, but you end up wetting your pants.

I wish fried fish were still able to swim.

[Raptor1]

Granted, they can swim for as long as they want before hitting the bottom

I wish to rob a train full of non-diet/whatever Coca Cola bottles without getting cought

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but since you misspelled "caught", the police show up and a deadly shoot-out ensues. The train is on a bridge that stands over a deep gorge. Out of ammunition and facing a life sentence, you jump off and are killed when your body falls about 350 feet below onto a jagged slab of rock.

[Raptor1]

Agh, I had a feeling something was wrong there :damn:

Ah, well, make a vish

[Stealth Hunter]

I wish that "M*A*S*H" was still on the air.

[Randomizer]

Granted, but since the original cast members are either geriatric or deceased, the network replaces them with characters from The Simpson's in CGI. Marge Simpson is Hot Lips, Principal Skinner is Radar and senior bully Nelson Muntz is LCol Potter. The show is so bad that most veiwers commit suicide before the first commercial. For some reason you love it and are pleased to learn that they have ordered 150 episodes.

I wish network TV didn't suck quite so badly.

[Mush Martin]

Granted network tv sucks just a little less in area of new south wales
for a second.

I wish that The learning Channel was still teaching me stuff
like connections or the operations instead of being ambulance
chaser biker tv.

[Koondawg]

Granted but then seal clubbing wouldn't be a reality and we would be watching old ladies knit quilts for hours, whilst some guy paints water coors in the background.


I wish seals could have rifles for a day....

[Koondawg]

Granted but then seal clubbing wouldn't be a reality and we would be watching old ladies knit quilts for hours, whilst some guy paints water colors in the background.


I wish seals could have rifles for a day....

[Mush Martin]

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: Nice


Granted its on the day you lead the documentary
crew out to the icefield and the hunters arent there
to protect you because they dont want to be filmed
any more.


I wish the geese and ducks could strafe back.:|\\

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, the geese and the ducks can strafe back, but it's with feces

I wish for a feces resistant umbrella hat

[Mush Martin]

granted but its infested underneath with Black widow's

I wish black widow's had club's

[Mush Martin]

granted but dt stops talking to you for a day

I wish I could get dt twice with the black widow clubs

[Mush Martin]

granted but now dt is talking again though incoherently


I wish penguins had flamethrowers I bet they do too.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, black widow's have clubs, but they are biker clubs and as such will not fit under my feces resistant umbrella hat

I wish everything was logical

Edit : Why is Mush mumbling to himself again?

[Mush Martin]

Granted everything is now totally logical and therefore will forever
defy your understanding and comprehension.

I wish penguins had umbrella hats and umbrella drinks too.

[Task Force]

Granted but they dont like them and attack you.

I wish that Partical gun thing tommorow dosent distroy the world.:doh:

[NealT]

Granted, but then the stock market prices drop, oil prices increase, a third world terrorist obtain's nuclear weapons, and the world is turned into a frozen wasteland.

I wish my morning weather lady had not left the business and gone over to a teaching university...

[TarJak]

Granted, she stayed on but is demanding a tripling of her pay, 365 days leave per year and 366 days paid leave each leap year, and a whole raft of other expensive benefits you can't afford.

I wish for more autonomy for automatons

[UnderseaLcpl]

I wish for more autonomy for automatons

Granted, Communist CHinese workers have more freedom and they use it to invade Australia

I wish for my next wish to benefit me at the expense of TarJak

[Mush Martin]

Granted he pays a hitman to kill you.

I wish you all a goodnight

[TarJak]

Granted, I had one but you will now lie awake worrying whether or not everyone else did

I wish hitmen were free

[Raptor1]

Granted, but they are free for your arch-nemesis as well

I wish I could destroy my nemesis

[Randomizer]

Granted but your nemesis is rigged by a dead-nemesis switch to a 50-megaton hydrogen bomb that detonates and turns Raptorland into a sheet of green radioactive glass.

I wish the flamethrower armed penguins would hurry up and melt the Antarctic ice cap so that I could own waterfront property without having to move.

[Koondawg]

Granted but your now ocean front property is over run with pigeons and seagulls, your house has so much crap on it you cant go outside to enjoy...


I wished penguins could fly...

[Jimbuna]

Granted, they all migrate from the Arctic to your State...have you seen the mess on your lawn.

I wish somebody would pick my nose.

[TarJak]

Granted, the fat bitch that sits across from you volunteers

I wish my wife's father owned a brewery

[Koondawg]

Granted but you drink him out of business, the wife leaves taking everything stating irreconcilable differences. You make the front page on National Enquirer.


I wished beer was free

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but the charge for the glass the fluid is contained in, is hiked up to compensate.

I wish my knowledge base was insurmountable.

[Koondawg]

Granted but then you would be the all knowing, stuck up SOB who killed the bastage that clipped your car whilst you were at work, get tossed into a Turkish prison and be someones towel boy...

I wish I could hover like Chris Angel...:o

[Mush Martin]

Granted you dangle 100 ft above the street held by a single strand
invisible wire attached to a helicopter three thousand feet above
you Over the mauna loa volcano

everything works perfectly with your wire harness
but the chopper runs out of fuel instantly.


I wish for teabuiscuits again.

[Koondawg]

Granted you have teabuiscuits again, and as his Father seabuiscuits watches and wonders why in the hell is teabuiscuits guilded and your not.


I wish there were more of us participating in this thread at this time of night...

[Raptor1]

Granted, I can participate

I wish I could participate

[Mush Martin]

Not possible Raptorland was nuked I will now participate on your behalf.
heres your default flounder.

I wish Jimbunas beer bottles were made of glass from where
raptorland used to be.

[TarJak]

Granted, he filles them with urine then sends em to your place where you mistakenly drink his radiation soaked wazz because it takes just like Labatt's

I wish my wife would reconcile her differences

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but with everyone apart from you.

I wish my co driver was more efficient hiding the bloody car at times.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but not efficient enough to mask the blood's smell so the Police dogs can't find it


I wish I knew what sort of illegal enterprises Jimbuna is up to

[TarJak]

Granted, you join him in his cell where he tells you all about it, after you do something for him. nudge nudge wink wink sy no more!

I wish felons had to wear melons

[UnderseaLcpl]

I wish felons had to wear melons

Granted, but it doesn't stop you from being assailed by a melon-clad rapist shortly after his release from prison. And he used a melon for a condom.


I wish for a ton of bricks to fall upon the next dream crusher.

[Mush Martin]

as DT has sprained his finger this morning he asked
me to type this on his behalf

granted but the ton of bricks were your house.

I wish people would by that I was typing on dt's behalf.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, people do buy that load of crap, but seagulls don't and they come to your domicile to rain a hail of "poop bricks" on you instead of DT

I wish you could build a black hole machine out of poop bricks

[Raptor1]

Granted, but it doesn't work

I wish I could hold the world ransom for...1 million dollars!

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but a million isn't much money, so you end up with hardly anything... although several countries still come after you since it IS still money and they kill you.

I wish that I could get the 3,000th post in this thread.

[ubootcomrade]

Granted, but the grand prize is a lifetimes supply of 'poop bricks'


I wish that the glorious army of Ubootcomradeland would stop slipping on the nuked glass wasteland of raptorland as it tries to invade.

[Raptor1]

Granted, it instead lays down it's arms and surrenders...again

I wish to execute that guy

[Mush Martin]

Granted plain and simple no catch I had no idea that ubootecomradeland
was a french colony.


I wish that neal never reads that nor any of our cousins from france
or anywhere else francaphone except only of course the offices of the
parking authorities of a certain unamed city somewhere in canada where
everytime I have gone to the museum they have earned my scorn and dislike.

[Koondawg]

Granted you quit rambling like a drunken fool and make out with a herpe infested hooker who pays you for the services renderd and you get change back from you euro....


Dayam I Wish MM had learned his lesson on Guam and not bought the cheapest hooker he could find...

KD

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but he still catches something that is very expensive to get rid of.

I wish the human brain was able to be transferred from person to person.

[Raptor1]

Granted, he found the most expensive one, as there was no difference in quality from the cheapest one only the infinite amount of booze he drank caused him to pay her

EDIT: Gah

Granted, but people can't transfer what they don't have

I wish to pass on wishing this wish

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but you create a TIME PARADOX!!!!!!!:stare:

I wish that Marco Polo would move to space.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, Marco Polo moves to space, discovers the meaning of the Higgs boson and goes stark raving mad, returning to earth to pound your head to mush with a "poop brick" for wishing him into space

I wish Marco Polo was sane again

[Mush Martin]

He is but somehow now theres two of me.


I wish marco polo had brought back
black bean chicken instead of spaghetti.

[Raptor1]

Granted, after he goes on a massive head-pounding rampage, he goes sane as the police surrounds him and is sent to prison for the rest of his life (This is, if they had a police in the 14th century)

EDIT:

Granted, but the police confiscates that too

I wish time could be set with an Integer variable

[Randomizer]

Granted but in doing so you cause the release of 50-megatons of energy stored in the time travel paradox continuum. This destroys all existing brain transfer facilities and also results in an expansion of hooker activity at CERN where the search for Black Holes now takes on an entirely different focus.

I wish for a free keg of draft beer for all Dream Crushers everywhere.

[Mush Martin]

Karma geeks /|\

granted but the price is no more beer for you for life.
why cause life can be cruel, I will have stella and thanks for buying.

I wish to share my stella with randomizer.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, but the Stella you share with Randomizer is actually the CERN hooker, he contracts a deadly disease and send the seagulls after you AGAIN:D

I wish I wasn't so good at visualizing the "black hole" reference from earlier:doh:

[Raptor1]

Granted, but that causes the last crush to be impossible, destroying the universe again

EDIT: Gah

Granted, it now drives you insane as visualizing it is just beyond your reach

I wish they would have a Search for Terrestrial Intelligence as well

[Jimbuna]

granted, but there search on SS draws a blank.

I wish my manhood was a skeleton key to every womans dreams.

[Task Force]

Granted, but it only works with ugly women.

I wish for rain.:p

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but it only rains on you.

I wish spiders could spin a web of deceit.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but the webs are weak compared to the nests of justice!

I wish that Weekend At Bernie's was based on a true story.

[Mush Martin]

Granted it is but you turn out to be bernie


I wish stealthhunter wasnt such a stiff.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, SH is no longer a stiff, now MM is

I wish I would stop talking in initials

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, no strings attached (I wish the same, lol).

I wish that I was a planet.

[NealT]

Granted, but then the Planet Killer from Star Trek is let loose and gobbles you up.

I wish Ike were headed toward Texas...

[Platapus]

I wish Ike were headed toward Texas...

Granted, but since Eisenhower was buried in Kansas, the panic caused by the walking zombie ex-president causes many deaths. All blamed on you.

I wish my cat got along with my dog.

[TarJak]

Granted, they get along so well that you now have a litter of Dats and Cogs running around pooping and peeing all over your floor and making strange miowing barks which are driving you nuts.

I wish flagwavers would stop waving their countries flags so much and actually do something for the people of their country

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but they take up a militaristic view of things and become dogmatic warmongers like the Bush Administration was with Iraq and Saddam Hussein. Chaos breaks out the world over. Nuclear wars start, and eventually, the planet is reduced to little more than a radioactive cinder... although about 12 people survived from playing Fallout 3... seems someone learned something after all.

I wish that I had a working VIIC/42 u-boat complete with crew and torpedoes waiting for me down at the dock.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but the dock authorities fforbid you from taking her out to sea

I wish I had a hammer

[Koondawg]

Granted but now your hammering all over this land.


I wish we could sit at a table and toss the Crush your Dreams in person with many pitchers of beers

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but you need to come to the SS Meet next month with plenty of beer tokens.

I wish the bitch sitting opposit me would contract bleeding piles, thus forcing her to wear nappies.

[TarJak]

Granted, but she leave her blood soaked disposables on your chair when you go for a break

I wish for lots of nice beer for all who are going to the Subsim meet this year

[Kratos]

I wish for lots of nice beer for all who are going to the Subsim meet this year

Granted: But if you and Jimbuna get there first there will be no nice beer left for anyone else :lol:

I wish i could play in the black holes that are getting created :D

[Koondawg]

Granted but the gravity pulls at your feet faster than the rest of your body thus tearing you apart at the waist....you perish


I wish I was going to the SS meeting....but i know I would be hung over most of the time....


KD

[Jimbuna]

Granted, you'd be hung over a bar counter most of the time.

I wish my car could drive via voice command.

[kranz]

Granted, but then you get a tongue cancer.

I wish I was the owner of this forum and could ban you all.

[ubootcomrade]

Granted, you are the owner of this forum and you ban everyone, leading to mass protests all over the world and eventualy your house comes under seige by STEED and Tony Blair, the bitch that sits next to jimbuna and the Glorious army of Ubootcomrade land, all of them armed with 'poop bricks'.


I wish my army wins the seige of kranz's house.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but that means only you are left to clean up the mess afrerwards.

I wish bullsh!t was edible.

[UnderseaLcpl]

I wish bullsh!t was edible.

Granted, it is fed to the voting public every day.


I wish I hadn't lost my new watch.

[Randomizer]

Granted, you look at your wrist and your watch is there. Too bad that now your hand is missing.

I wish I could save time in a bottle.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but the last time you opened the bottle, you drank yourself into oblivion.

I wish I could train camel jockeys.

[HunterICX]

I wish I could train camel jockeys.

Granted, but after time you get atracked to the camels itself and you start to shag 300 of them and become the worlds sickest person.

I wish for a pair of good sneakers to outrun Jimbuna

HunterICX

[NealT]

Granted but what you didn't know is that JB was actually running for his high-powered 106 MM recoilless rifle and once you get past him and he reaches the 106, he uncorks it, aims at your back, lets loose on the fleshette rounds, and you are instantly torn to shreds which he picks up, picks out the bones, and tosses into the stew pot for tonight's meal.

I wish Ike WEREN'T headed for Texas (which is what I meant to say last time.)

[Raptor1]

Granted, but they are sneakers, therefore only fast as long as you sneak

EDIT:

Granted, it is now headed for New York

I wish to break this and that

[STEED]

Granted the whole planet is now busted I hope your happy now.

I wish womens farts did not spell bloody awful.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted "womens farts" do not spell "bloody awful", but that was true before you wished it so now your olfactory sensors are overloaded with bloody awful smelling womens farts

I wish I could think of a good wish

[Raptor1]

Granted, but you can't remember it

I wish I had a pet Psychologist

[STEED]

Granted "womens farts" do not spell "bloody awful", but that was true before you wished it so now your olfactory sensors are overloaded with bloody awful smelling womens farts

I wish I could think of a good wish

Ol' Sod it. :oops: :lol:

Back on topic...............................

[Koondawg]

Granted back on topic is being able to bend over and place your head between your legs....thus allowing to kiss your ass goodbye when the time continuim factor that Randomizer saved in a bottle of anthrax spores collapses thus allowing a spread of hell for 5oo miles whilst women are farting nasty smells which only disturbs Jimbo...

I wish Jimbo had a O2 mask when this happens....

[Randomizer]

Granted but the hated fat woman who sits across from him has the intake valve connected by a hose to her bottom.

I with anthrax spores produced edible mushrooms instead of anthrax.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but they contain Anthrax themselves

I wish to destroy the blasphemy known as Facebook

[TarJak]

Granted but then your Bebo friends hunt you down because they now don't have any Facebook friends

I wish flaps were up

[Raptor1]

Granted, the flaps are now up, about 30 meters above the flaming fuselage of your aircraft

I wish I had more tank divisions

[Platapus]

I wish I had more tank divisions

Granted but with all those dividers in your tank, no one can move around.

I wish my dog would chew what she is supposed to chew and not chew what she is not supposed to chew.

[SUBMAN1]

Not sure how this turned into posts about farts, but I want to make something clear from a scientific perspective:

The reason the Particle Accelerator exists is because scientists do not know exactly what is going to happen. If they did, there would be no reason to build it.

Never forget that.

-S

[SUBMAN1]

Now I am getting skeptical. This thread I clicked on was about the LHC. Looking at this, that is not what I got. SQL error?

-S

[Randomizer]

I wish I had more tank divisions

Granted but with all those dividers in your tank, no one can move around.

I wish my dog would chew what she is supposed to chew and not chew what she is not supposed to chew.

Granted, but she decides what is supposed to be chewed and what is not.

I wish that the next time the Wife tuned in the Shopping Channel an attack by radioactive mutant flying penguins in flamethrower armed hover tanks supported by rabid zombie lounge lizards completely destroys the network and everybody on it. All for only four easy payments of $39.95 plus applicable taxes.

PS. Looks like tomorrow or maybe Saturday at the latest will see Dream Crush 3K. Good Luck to all the contenders vieing for this prestigious milestone. Too bad there can be only one...

[Jimbuna]

Granted, she now changes her subscription to another channel provider which has even more dedicated shopping channels.

I wish people didn't drive me crazy.

[HunterICX]

I wish people didn't drive me crazy.

granted, now the people will drive you nuts.

I wish these strong winds would calm down along the coast

HunterICX

[NealT]

Granted, but then the eye passes and the winds pick up stronger than before, knocking out power and phone lines and leaving you with no computer access or internet access whatsoever and nine months later you have Triplets.

I wish my video card wasn't so outdated.

[Koondawg]

Granted your VC is now top of the line and up to date with all the latests drivers, bad thing is is that your PC is now out of date


I wish fair weather for my bros in southern Tx..

[Jimbuna]

Granted, your area now receives the visit from Ike.

I wish that nobody is injured or hurt by Ike.

[Digital_Trucker]

I wish I could grant that last wish

[Koondawg]

Granted but the waves from Ike swamp the shores washing everything from the coast up to Oklahoma, Lake Texhoma is now home to Galveston Island and Texas is 1700 miles of beach.
Neal has to start SS all over again from a beach hut, which is now in Eisenhower state park...

I wish I had a dune buggy with a 500 gallon tank on it...

[Raptor1]

Granted, I know not this "500 gallon" type of tank, but it probably crushed your dune buggy under it's treads

I wish threads had treads

[UnderseaLcpl]

I wish threads had treads

Granted, threads are now accompanied by complimentary 500lb steel track links for each post. You must obtain one before posting again.

I wish to unwish Raptor1's wish on everyone but him.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, but since none of us is "him", we all still have to get our 500lb steel track links before we post

I wish 500lb steel track links only weighed 5 lbs

[Randomizer]

Granted, they weigh only 5-lbs on the Martian moon Phobos.

I wish hurricane season would call it quits for the year.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but it comes back twice as hard next year

I wish I had an evil potato

[Tango589]

Granted, but it comes back twice as hard next year

I wish I had an evil potato

Granted:

http://i298.photobucket.com/albums/mm260/tango589/darthtater.jpg

I wish potatos were legal currency.

[ubootcomrade]

Granted, free chips for all, no catch

I wish I owned the Hindenburg (in its pre-exploded state)

[Raptor1]

Granted, but Paul von Hindenburg doesn't make a very good pet or slave

I wish it was not

[Jimbuna]

Granted, it's not.

I wish my fly would stay out of the ointment.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but not your bee

I wish there was no yesterday

[Tango589]

Granted, but not your bee


I wish there was no yesterday


Granted, but there are now 2 tomorrows to compensate. Your horoscope tells you tomorrow is going to be a very bad day. Now you have two of them! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I wish I wasn't intoxicated. No, actually that's a stupid wish for a Friday night! I wish Raptor1 was intoxicated!

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, Raptor1 is intoxicated and he gets Ubootcomrade inebriated as well, and they both drunkenly attack Tango589ograd and conquer it immediately before barfing and passing out

I wish barf was more fun

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but your unable to cope with the thrill and suffer badly.

I wish soup was a solid.

[ubootcomrade]

Granted, but bread now turns to liquid


I wish I had a lovely aolcholic beverage for myself and everyone else on the forum :up:

[Jimbuna]

Granted, don't forget your best mate.

http://i224.photobucket.com/albums/dd320/pasquarade/drunkcob.gif

I wish the above wish came true.

[Tango589]

Granted, don't forget your best mate.

http://i224.photobucket.com/albums/dd320/pasquarade/drunkcob.gif

I wish the above wish came true.

Granted, your best mate was well remembered.

I wish Tango589ograd had barf-proof flooring.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, tango5890grad has barf proof flooring, but it's made out of "poop bricks"

I wish that "poop bricks", when mixed with barf, would become a tasty alcoholic beverage

[Mush Martin]

Granted .... go on .. try it...its fun. eieeeeeeyahh


I wish that DT is never in a position to be my bartender.

[Platapus]

I wish that DT is never in a position to be my bartender.

Granted butt that means that DT is now in the position to be your proctologist...and he has a very long......memory.

I wish that I did not suck so badly at flight simulators.

[Mush Martin]

No one is capable of granting that wish not even walt disney
come on. heres a Tuna.

I wish I sucked at flightsims.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you suck at flightsims, but they take no sexual gratification from it

I wish my Saitek Evo was shaped like a hooter

[Randomizer]

Granted but footage of you caressing your Saitek Evo makes it onto YouTube and becomes an instant hit. You become the hooter fondling equivalent of the 'Leave Britney Alone' moron; a figure of fun to your peers and mocked by your enemies.

I wish not to be around when the fit hits the shan.

Edited to include "wish", initially omitted in error...

[Koondawg]

Ganted your not around when the fit hits the shan, but as with anything there is the ripple effect and due to gravity shizznit flows downhill and your now swimming in fits.


I wish for Randomizer to have a small dugout so he can stay afloat.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, he remains afloatr in it for all eternity.

I wish my parcel from France would arrive.

[Koondawg]

Granted your parcel from France arrives, but the inflatable latex doll isnt as fine of quality as you thought. And as your putting her into the closet she hangs on a nail, rips, farts and blows out the window.

I wish that the latex doll lands in the bay choking a seal thus saving the poor bastage from a clubbing.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but now you have a latex seal to play with.

I wish fashionable clothing was wearable.

[Randomizer]

Granted but only if you 5'11" tall and anorexic.

I wish for my enemies to be inflicted with permanent cases of incurable Cat-Breath.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but since your wors't enemy is yourself... (Whoops, I already used that excuse)

I wish I knew when would then be now

[Koondawg]

Granted hind site is 20-20...you now know then what was then. (doesn't make a lick of sense but what does)

I wish we all knew if Seth was a pimp...

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, we all now know if Seth was a pimp, but it turns out he's really Gary Glitter

I wish my eyes could bug out this far:o

[Raptor1]

Granted, your eyes CAN do that, you just have to use a knife

I wish the knife was always sufficient as well as neesecary

[Task Force]

Granted but the knife is always in your back.

I wish the rudder controal on my joystick would stop makeing the back end of my plane going back and forth.:roll: It isnt staying in neutral.:huh: ( makes it veary hard to shoot something down.)

[Randomizer]

Granted but Neesecarians are always bringing knives to gunfights which accounts for their low numbers.

Arrgghh...

Granted, your rudder control now stays in neutral but it controls the secret Q-Axis which results in the self-destruction of your plane whenever it is used.

I wish my flash drive contained all the world's knowledge - in a usable format.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but it's unorganized and it takes you 3 years to find what you're looking for before your computer crashes and you have to do it all over again

I wish the Big Bad Wolf had knocked down the last little pig's house with Artillery (Or maybe I'm mixing something up...)

[Koondawg]

Granted the 3 little piggies house is now a crater, and the Big Bad Wolf is too busy reloading the Howizter, from 2o miles way, and doesn't have time to get to grammy's house to eat Little Red Riding Hood...and boy is she pissed...

I wish Little Red Riding Hood worked for Seth....we could PS her :smug:


KD

[Randomizer]

Granted, she works for Seth but her job is in accounting, however she is not the Little Red of legend. Instead she's 5' tall and almost a perfect sphere. As a teen she enjoyed the game of bobbing for french fries and subsequently worked as a test subject for a drug company that constantly failed to find cures for assorted STD's.

I wish that Crushed Dream 3K becomes a Classic Crush.

[Koondawg]

Granted Crushd dreams becomes a Reality TV show and your the star...although a disgruntled employee takes out a club. Whacking everyone on the show to death...thus allowing me to wish the wish of whoever posts the 3ooo post gets a STD and has to go to the clinic and the only resolution is to get whacked like a polar seal...thus resulting in major dain bramage. You can't remeber shizznit...all your emails are lost...as well as you sign-on here at SS...thus I'll say goodbye now, because you will never be yourself again...


I wish my gal would have more patience and stop making me sign off now...but she doesn't


see you all later :smug:


KD

[Raptor1]

Granted, but now you don't have any patience

I wish my x,000 spree would continue on to the 4,000th post as well

[STEED]

Granted it will long after you have been shot in to the Sun.

I wish we all had sex instead of posting on this damn thread, it's so addictive. :damn:

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, we all have sex instead of posting on this thread, but we get caught in the largest vice bust in the history of the universe

I wish I hadn't visualized us all having sex:88)