Game: Crush Each Other's Dreams

[Rockstar]

Granted, you need only wake up, becaue in reality mud isn't a valued commodity

I wish I live in Digital Truckers imagination so I can make money selling mud.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but soon a new regime of Fascist Lolcats come into power and ban all mud production, you soon lose all your assets and are forced to live out the rest of your miserable life in the sewers of Dublin

I wish you all would wake up, or I'll have to call the Catstapo

[NealT]

Granted, everyone wakes up except you...and the phone is constantly ringing in your head as you are trying to sleep.

I wish today were just another day...

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but "frankly my dear...I don't give a damn."

I wish I owned that huge plantation.

[Rockstar]

Granted, you are the new owner of the ACE basin plantation in South Carolina. But due to the expense of maintaince and protecting yourself against class-action lawsuits from 35 million descendants of black slaves. You tear the place down to sell it for fire wood and turn the land over to a land fill company. Just to break even and pay off lawyer fees and court costs.


I wish my quality of life improved over yours.

[TarJak]

Granted, you quality of live improves over Jimbuna's but as he has become a homeless Junkie, you get to be a homeless drunk.

I wish words really were mightier than then sword

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but only Wilkinson Sword.

I wish my Gillette mach 3 was turbo charged.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, your Gillette Mach 3 is turbo charged, but is now so fast that it removes your nose while shaving your chin because your forgot to wish for 4 wheel anti-lock disc brakes to go with that turbo-charger

I wish Jimbo's nose wouln't have been launched into orbit by his turbo charged razor

[Task Force]

Granted, instead of his nose, he gets launched into space.

I wish for it to snow tomorrow.

[TarJak]

Granted, it snows tomorrow on top of Mt Everest. Pretty much like every day really...

I wish fortitude was more than a valley in Brisbane

[Task Force]

Granted, its now the new name for the feces that goes to the landfill.

I wish that fortitude didn't smell so bad.

[NealT]

It doesn't...that is your own body odor you are smelling...

I wish my trees were not so heavy...

[Jimbuna]

Granted, someone has chopped them all down unbeknown to you...problem solved.

I wish I'd started earlier.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you started earlier, but that means that you are now finished (literally) buh-bye:D

I wish I had started later

[Raptor1]

Granted, now we are all way ahead of ya in the race

I wish the this that them then

[Rockstar]

Granted, this is that and that is them who is on first and what is on second but nobody knows why.


I wish I was cool like everyone else here.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but you eventually try to make a dramatic exit by hopping on your motorcycle after the Subsim dance and driving off widly into the night. Unfortunately, you hit a deer, fly off your bike, and land in a nearby river, where you drown.

I wish that life wasn't depressing.

[TarJak]

Granted, mine isn't:sunny: Yours on the other hand...

I wish for a decent send off

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but on the way to the cemetery, the pallbearers picked up the wrong casket. Your body is going to be sent off for medical experiments.

I wish that Stu the Cockatoo was not new at the zoo...


Lol, "Big Bang". I love that show.

[NealT]

He isn't...he is now Stew at the zoo.

I wish I had a holiday today...

[Rockstar]

He isn't...he is now Stew at the zoo.

I wish I had a holiday today...

Granted, holiday routine. Holiday for some routine for others, now get to work.

I wish I had a submarine



.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you have a submarine. It's one of those toys that you put baking soda in and watch it submerge and surface in the bathtub. You enjoy it so much that you don't get out of the tub for 3 years and end up being mistaken for a prune and eaten by one of the giant aliens that has taken over earth while you were playing with your sub in the tub

I wish that dirt were dollars

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but seeing as how much dirt exists, the dollar is now worthless.

I wish my mind would stop spinning.

[Raptor1]

Granted, it starts dancing instead

I wis...

[Rockstar]

Granted, as you left left your wish open ended I get to finish it for you.

I wish Raptor1 all the best in his new life as a dung beatle.

[TarJak]

Granted, Raptor1 becomes a dung beetle, but the karma fairy has decided you get to be the ball of dung his is rolling

I wish the karma fairy would stay the hell away from me

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but her grandma gets up real close and pulls yer trousers down exposing your pink y-fronts.

I wish to be contrite.

[Rockstar]

Granted, you are contrite but still every bit a ribald.

I wish I owned an Oscar Mayer Weinermobile.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but a short sighted T-Rex comes along and eats it.

I wish it came with more relish.

[TarJak]

Granted, it comes with more relish but no pickle

I wish pickles were eradicated

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, pickles are eradicated causing an uprising by the Chik-Fil-A Sandwich Eaters United against Tarjakistan because a Chik-Fil-A is nothing without a pickle slice. Of course, since you are the leader of Tarjakistan and blamed for everything, you are placed in a vat of pickle brine and drowned for 30 years or so

I wish that wishes were easier to think of and harder to crush

[Jimbuna]

Granted, you now have absolutely no difficulty in thinking up armour plated wishes.

I wish my bearings were precise.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but you got the range all wrong

I wish jimbuna got the bloody range correct

[Rockstar]

Granted, jimbuna has finally gotten the correct range and bearing information unfortunetly the target has long since found out his location.

I wish jimbuna all the best against the 3 destroyers now bearing down on his position


.

[NealT]

Granted, he does, first he sinks your ship, then he sinks TJ's, and finally he sinks DT's. But then, in a flash of inspiration, Bernard rushes into the conning tower screaming,

I did it! I finally figured out how to bypass the safety and open both the outer and inner doors at the same time!

and the weight of the water rushing in takes the sub directly to the bottom where it and it's crew are never heard from again...

I wish better training...

[Jimbuna]

Granted, improved potty training will commence tomorrow.

I wish I could have seen the look on the face of the bitch who sits opposite me at work when she allowed a felon to escape from her grasp.

[Rockstar]

Granted, you see her face and immediately shudder at the sight regretting you made the wish you have an overwhelming urge to run as the felon before you did.


I wish there was a law against ugly.

[TarJak]

Granted, there is and you are just about to become the first one prosecuted

I wish all the illegal uglies were rounded up and deported

[NealT]

Is that why you are being sent to the Antarctic?

I wish I did not have to go visit the Dr today...

[Raptor1]

Granted, now you die from whatever illness you needed to go to the doctor about

I wish faeuipogsn was a real word

[Rockstar]

Granted, your dog uses it all the time to tell you he needs to go out but you never understand him so wee's on the carpet all the time.


I wish I had attack manatees with lasers on their heads. I would rule the seas.

http://scienceblogs.com/retrospectacle/manatee.bmp

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but a rogue one turns on you and burns your eyes out wth its laser.

I wish Kratos hadn't fallen asleep last night during the bus ride home.

[TarJak]

Granted, he fell asleep before his bus came leaving him to walk home after freezing his nutz off at the bus shelter.

I wish Kratos had a warmer night

[Task Force]

Granted. but just one degree warmer. (and its freezing out.)

I wish for a wish crushing machine.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you get a wish crushing machine which crushes your wish for a wish crushing machine

I wish things worked the way they were supposed to, only better

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but only slightly better because nobody is working anymore.

I wish Oliver Twist was straighter.

[NealT]

He is...now instead of being 100% 'happy' he is 100% 'bi'.

I wish Microsoft were to close their R&D department and lay off hundreds of people in these rough economic times...

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but that means you will never see an improvement on the Vista OS.

I wish XP Pro was a hooker.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but you already moved to Vista

I wish we could win the war in 40 days

[Rockstar]

Granted, you win but not what you had expected instead the judge only awards you custody of the dog, the 78 dodge sitting on blocks in what used to be your property that now belongs to your ex.

I wish I had a new pair of shoes.

[TarJak]

Granted, you get two shiny new horseshoes

I wish I had drunk less last night and slept longer this morning.

[Rockstar]

Granted, while praying to the porcelain goddess and suffering from a severe hangover you wish had not drunk so much and got more sleep instead.


I wish I was faster than a speeding bullet

[jeremy8529]

Granted, but your eardrums are busted as you pass the sound barrier.

I wish I knew the truth to how the atom is truly structured.

[TarJak]

Granted but the only way for you to find out is to be intimate with a nuclear explosion

I wish the porecelain bus would stop swerving all over the road

[NealT]

Granted...it crashes into your glass house instead and you can guess the rest...

I wish snow were not yellow...

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but the snow turns red... right where you're standing...

I wish that bird could not fly and monkeys could talk.

[Raptor1]

Granted, that bird cannot fly, falls on your monkey and kills it right before it tells you the solution to global strife

I wish that monkey was still alive

[Jimbuna]

Granted, it now resides inside your underwear.

I wish my wife to have a wonderful birthday today.

[Rockstar]

Granted she has a wonderful birthday. That is up until the time for the 'special' present' you had instore for her later that night when instead she finds you sound asleep from too much wine. Way to go jimbuna. :roll:

I wish jimbuna is up to the task of ... well you know, being it's her birthday and all. <wink wink nudge nudge know what I mean> :arrgh!:


.

[TarJak]

He's 'up' to the task thanks to a little blue pill but as usual only lasts 2 mins before having to have a kip

I wish innuendo had a different meaning

[NealT]

Granted it does provided...well you know...JB doesn't get hold of it and then, look out...

I wish a brighter day were ahead for

[Raptor1]

Granted, but it's cancelled due to budget cuts

I wish the budget wasn't such a treacherous entity

[NealT]

It isn't, it is easy...spend more than you can make or afford and have a good time...then everyone will call you a government.

I wish Subsim the best of luck in the upcoming years...

[Rockstar]

Granted, but subsim had to take all of yours to make the wish come true. Your chances of a meteor dropping on you head sometime today have just skyrocketed.

I wish got a pay raise

[Jimbuna]

Granted, it is 'raised' to the uppermost shelf where your unable to reach it.

I wish my tales were taller.

[TarJak]

Granted, your tales are now slightly tallker than Ronnie Corbett

I wish they still made Porridge

[Sledgehammer427]

granted, but Quaker instant oatmeal is better, and inexpensive

i wish i had a pony:rotfl:

[nikimcbee]

granted, but Quaker instant oatmeal is better, and inexpensive

i wish i had a pony:rotfl:

Granted: Make sure you feed it:
http://www.lifelounge.com/resources/IMGDETAIL/My-little-pony.jpg


I wish jim would stop posting those home movies:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AO43p2Wqc08&feature=channel

[TarJak]

Granted, he stops making that one and makes this one: http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=IsD6xd5JaaQ

I wish Geordies knew how to sing and dance

[NealT]

He does, but he does so on your parade...

I wish for another 12 years...

[Jimbuna]

Granted....12 years hard labour.

I wish my holidays were due.

[Raptor1]

Granted, due next year

I wish for all sorts of nonsense

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you get all sorts of nonsense, but you can't make any sense of it and go insane after spending 30 years trying to do so

I wish water wasn't so wet

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but only when it's damp.

I wish heat wasn't so warm.

[TarJak]

Granted, but it will only be cooler in Winter.

I wish the milk of human kindess tasted better

[nikimcbee]

Granted, but it will only be cooler in Winter.

I wish the milk of human kindess tasted better

granted! But it is very expensive!:oops:
http://www.shotaddict.com/images/micro-bikini-contest.jpg

(wait, it was just a"figure of speech":oops: )

I wish the girl from the above photo /\ would take me out on a date.:up:

[kranz]

granted, but she is an orthodox lesbian.

I wish my friend's stupidity had a border/limit.

[UnderseaLcpl]

granted, but she is an orthodox lesbian.

I wish my friend's stupidity had a border/limit.

Granted, it borders on mental retardation which is limited only by your influence:D

I wish for NikiMcbee's next dream crush to feature a picture of Jewel Staite in a bathing suit.

[NealT]

It does, but it is pitch black outside and the flash did not work...

I wish that young lady were with me right now...

[Rockstar]

She is, as well as a 100 other photos of half naked women you have stashed under your pillow.

I wish I was her bathing suit

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you are now her bathing suit. Your face is the butt-crack string on the bikini bottom.

I wish Rockstar had thought about the ramifications of his wish a bit more

[Raptor1]

Granted, now you can't get the satisfaction of crushing his wish

I wish evil enjoyed more success

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but only on twilight woensdags.

I wish my mate would go out for a beer or three tomorrow.

[TarJak]

Granted, I go out for a beer or three tomorrow, but sadly you are not here to enjoy them with me

I wish Jimbuna could come out for a beer or three with me tomorrow

[NealT]

He can, but he decides instead to go out for more than a beer with the BFB that sits across from him at work...leaving you to drink alone, whereby you promptly get sconced and tossed in jail when you are caught driving away on your moped...

I wish today were more than a day of work.

[Sledgehammer427]

granted, but that makes playing video games that much more fun

i wish i had a friggin job

[Jimbuna]

Granted, your new job starts tomorrow....enjoy friggin the sheep whilst you shepherd them.

I wish my wooly pullover didn't arrive out of the packaging with that questionnable stain on it.

[Rockstar]

Granted, it is no longer a questionable stain and the weird thing is you don't mind wearing it and refuse to wash it off now.


I wish jimbuna would tell us what the stain is.

[UnderseaLcpl]

Granted, it is no longer a questionable stain and the weird thing is you don't mind wearing it and refuse to wash it off now.


I wish jimbuna would tell us what the stain is.

Granted, he tells you that it is an unusual discoloration of the fabric.


I wish joy and happiness upon all of you.

[TarJak]

Granted, we all are enjoying our joy and happiness at the expense of your despair and misery

I wish arriving could be done without departing

[NealT]

Granted, when you arrive they lock you in solitary confinement and you never depart until after you are dead and buried...

I wish my boy would finally go out on his own and forget my address...

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but upon his return he enters the wrong house and is subsequently arrested for burglary.

I wish for the status quo. (not the pop group)

[TarJak]

Granted you get the same old same old

I wish TF1 was used instead of TF2

[Raptor1]

Granted, but we lost the same amount of ships...

I wish heavy guns would smash the pathetic enemy TF

[NealT]

They do, and since you were their leader, you drown in the middle of the ocean.

I wish the Red Triangles would return...:salute:

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but only in special edition boxes of Toblerone.

I wish the sooner the better.

[Rockstar]

Granted, sooner is better in regards to time. But quality of the product still sucks because it was hurried out the door.


I wish I could surpass jimbuna in the number of posts by tuesday.

[TarJak]

Granted, but the bloody stumps that are now your fingers make doing other things in life rather difficult for you

I wish bloody stumps were more useful

[NealT]

Vampires love em...women hate em...

I wish today were not super bowl Sunday.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, today is super dish Sunday.

I wish Newcastle would beat Sunderland in the local derby match today.

[Rockstar]

Granted, but as someone from the United States I can assure you nobody here cares one bit about this derby match.


Just out of curiosity I wish I knew what the 'ell a derby match was.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but seeing as it's about a sport that is played in more countries worldwide than any other sport and the US play it badly..... http://forums.photobucket.com/images/smilies/pbgoogler.gif

:DL

I wish the draw didn't happen.

[Kratos]

Granted, but seeing as it's about a sport that is played in more countries worldwide than any other sport and the US play it badly..... http://forums.photobucket.com/images/smilies/pbgoogler.gif

:DL

I wish the draw didn't happen.

Granted: the draw didn't happen and you lost three points instead of gaining one :salute:

I wish starheaded screwdrivers didn't go into your skin so deep :cry:

[Rockstar]

Granted, You will find using the proper tool for the job works better and you are less likely to hurt yourself. So next time try use a wrench to tighten the bolts instead of the starheaded screwdriver.


I wish Kratos had a clue

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, Kratos has a clue (but it's not the one you expected). Kratos now has a clue how to publish those pictures of you wrestling naked in the pool full of Jello with an Orangutan

I wish this guy :woot:would quit partying so hard

[TarJak]

Granted, he is now :dead:

I wish the my fleet of carriers would annhilate the IJN.

[UnderseaLcpl]

Granted, he is now :dead:

I wish the my fleet of carriers would annhilate the IJN.

Granted, they score a devestating and decisive victory against the Intermountain Jewish News syndicate. However, while they were away, the Japanese Army conducted an amphibious assault on Australia and burned down your house.

I wish I had another good book to read right now.

[Raptor1]

Granted, it is en excellent 12-volume summary on landfills and their place in history

I wish my fleet of carriers (I still claim ownership on them, all ~20-30 of them, not counting CVEs) would annihilate the Imperial Japanese Navy

[NealT]

Granted, but when you report back to the Emporer, he orders you to commit Hari Kari for destroying your own fleet.

I wish Subsim would add some new smilies...:yeah:

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, subsim adds some new smilies, your favorite being the brown one with one eye

I wish we could have a holiday from gravity today

[Jimbuna]

Granted, welcome to the land of the birds....and nosebleeds.

I wish I knew precisely why.

[Rockstar]

Granted, now you know why but of course as the saying goes you have to be killed because you know too much.


I wish I knew just enough to be dangerous.

[TarJak]

Granted, you know engough to cut your own head off with a chainsaw

I wish people would be more specific when they wish

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, but then the wishes would be an exponential order more difficult to crush

I wish exponents actually took orders and could invade TarJakistan and Rockstaronia simultaneously while confusing the mathematically challenged

[Raptor1]

Granted, but they are a treacherous breed, and usurp power from you in a daring coup

I wish exponents weren't so treacherous

[UnderseaLcpl]

Granted, but they are a treacherous breed, and usurp power from you in a daring coup

I wish exponents weren't so treacherous


Granted, now they are slightly less treacherous, but exponentially more malignant.

I wish that Raptor1 had crushed Digital_Trucker's wish in a more relevant fashion.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, he sits on it and squashes it whilst picking his nose and wearing his favourite tutu.

I wish bygones were bygones.

[NealT]

Granted they are...in the past, but it is now the present and soon to be the future and therefore what was is and soon will be therefore making your wish unobtainable in the present future.

I wish thinking were not as difficult early in the morning.

[TarJak]

Granted, once your frontal lobotomy is complete, thinking in the mornings becomes a breeze

I wish I knew then what I know now

[Jimbuna]

Granted, you now know nothing, just as you did then.

I wish I had a hunch, but not on my person.

[Koondawg]

Granted you get a hunch...not on yourself mind ya but on the fat bitch sitting across from ya...
She lets you hunch her leg...her kankle, her toes. Why you get SFE (sofa king excited):har: you stand on her foot slap her leg and ride the wave into the hunch hole...your gone forever :salute: not realizing you should have shored the sides of tha massive crater before entering. You wished you would have had tied a rope to your self before surfing the kankle wave. Although you got a perfect 10 for hanging 10 :|\\ you realize you will need a snorkel to breath. :woot:

I wished Jimbo had drawn out a plan for the hunch he received...:yeah:

KD

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but I forgot the air bottles and the rope.

http://img502.imageshack.us/img502/4449/frabc15062001earslr6.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

I wish my memory of said event was forgotten.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, your memory said event is forgotten, but is revived over and over again in this thread

I wish I could remember what the h e double hockey sticks my wish was gonna be:wah:

[UnderseaLcpl]

Granted, your memory said event is forgotten, but is revived over and over again in this thread

I wish I could remember what the h e double hockey sticks my wish was gonna be:wah:

Granted, you are suddenly and forcefully reminded by two high-explosive hockey sticks as they detonate and blow your legs off.

I wish for the next subsim meet to feature a tonnage competition utilizing GWX or SH4.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but you do know you have to travel to Denmark....don't you?

I wish the weight of my tonnage in beer.

[UnderseaLcpl]

Granted, but you do know you have to travel to Denmark....don't you?

I wish the weight of my tonnage in beer.

Granted, you recieve -750 tons. 0 for sinkings and -750 for the loss of your boat.

I wish I knew why Jim thinks travelling to Denmark would count as a dream crush.

[TarJak]

Granted, you now realise why travelling to Denmark would cursh your dream. But you only find out in the Danish jail cell with the neo-nazi you are locked up with that keeps calling you his beeartch

I wish crushing wishes was not so soul crushing

[Raptor1]

Granted, it is now physically crushing

I wish the bomber will always get through

[Jimbuna]

Granted, it gets through to your house where it drops its payload with perfect precision....destroying your house as a result.

I wish I had the monopoly on strategic thinking.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you have a monopoly on strategic thinking and now you do nothing but strategic thinking, but this strategic thinking is required to be performed on the "throne" (loo, dunny, toilet, water-closet) causing a permamnent ring around your bum (keester, tooshie, arse) when you finally give up strategic thinking

I wish for a magic banana (someplace other than my "tailpipe")

[TarJak]

Granted, you get the magic banana but the hole into which it has been inserted is far more painful than the one you wished it wasn't in

I wish for a feeling of sublime contentment

[kranz]

Granted, you read Longinus "On Sublime" but soon the contentment is replaced by an obstruction

I wish today's exam would be easy.

[Koondawg]

Granted you wish today's exam would be easy...But Sex Ed has never been easy for you. Thus is why your still in the 3rd grade. You prefer a used gym sock to a woman and watch gay midget porn when your Mom isn't home. Youll pass only after you catch the teacher whacking off in the boys RR.

I wished Jimbo lived nextdoor...we would be having a lan party and multiple brews....without the FB

KD

[NealT]

Granted, he lives in the cell right next to yours. Unfortunately, the warden takes away his LAN connection because he is on a suicide watch and is not allowed a rope of any kind, leaving you to contemplate how the feds found your still and why the judge was so harsh with his sentence upon you.

I wish KD would stop with this infatuation with online games...

[Jimbuna]

Granted, he is now infatuated with online poker....strip poker.

I wish the internet was the intranet.

[Rockstar]

Granted, the internet is now an intranet but in order to make room for that change they had to change the intranet to an internet.

I wish I had access to your bank account. Please PM your sign-on and password so I can send you a check for a gazillion dollars or whatever ya'all use down there for currency.

[UnderseaLcpl]

I think Jim should have the honor of crushing this dream.

[Rockstar]

Oh thats ok I can send you some bail out money too :arrgh!:

[NealT]

You could, except that you forgot your bank account number and you ran out of checks...

I wish people would stick to the script...

[Sledgehammer427]

Granted, the people are now sticking to the script, but now everyones ad-libbing their parts and not dancing to the ABBA soundtrack you provided at the last minute

i wish my car had better suspension

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, your car has better suspension. It is now suspended in exactly the same way as the Golden Gate Bridge (and in the same place).

I wish for a 1981 Turbocharged Firebird (black, gold trim, T-tops) to magically reappear in my driveway with a free lifetime gas card

[TarJak]

Granted, the car and the card magically appear 2 seconds before you die from the heart attack the shock of seeing your wish coming true caused.

I wish magically appearing cars would be less shocking to people

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, magically appearing cars are less shocking, but are now more crushing when the car lands on the wisher (WTF, I just crushed my own wish and myself)

I wish I had more sense:salute:

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but it is 'non'sense.

I wish I could get this Fido mod to work correctly.

[Rockstar]

Granted, The Fido XT can be configured in multiple formats to accommodate the needs of most explosives detection applications. The mod for your Fido explosives detector allows it to utilize proprietary amplifying fluorescence polymers (AFP) to detect trace levels of explosive materials in parts per quadrillion (ppq). But you lost the instructions and don't know how to use it.


I wish I had a dingo

[TarJak]

Granted, but you don't know how to drive it.
http://www.baywayhire.com.au/Pics/dingo-digger.jpg

I wish dingo's were easy to drive

[Sledgehammer427]

granted, they are now easy to drive, but you soon forget after figuring out how to get in(:lol:)

i wish defrags would take less time

[NealT]

They do. You now have a 170 meg hard drive using DOS 6.3. While you are unable to load windows or play any of the games of today, it takes no time at all to defrag your hard drive.

I wish for a better wish...:har:

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but better is not as good as wiser.

I wish my Tardis was parkable.

[TarJak]

Granted, it is parkable but only inside black holes.

I wish the fires in Victoria were not as devastating as they have been.:cry:

[Jimbuna]

Granted, Victoria is getting older and her fires diminish with age but the younger sister Alice Springs is still a red hot proposition.

I wish to travel from here to eternity.

[kranz]

Granted, but you end up like Prewitt.

I wish I understood rules of "Werewolf game"

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but as the noose is tightened around your neck you realise it isn't a game.

I wish I had a monumental organ.

[Sledgehammer427]

granted, you now have a monumental organ, but you cant play it because you never took any lessons and all of the people in your quaint london suburb keep complaining about the constant stream of techno music pouring from your walls, wouldnt want them to call the fuzz.

i wish breathmints didnt cost 1.98

[NealT]

Your wish is my command...they now cost $198.00 each.

I wish I was not such a stupid dunce...

[TarJak]

Granted, you are no longer a stupid dunce and have been elevated to complete moron status

I wish morons who light fires in the bush would be taught a lesson

[Raptor1]

Granted, they are tought how to light fires in other places

I wish the engines worked...

[NealT]

They do...and now the destroyer is bearing down on you while you wonder why you ever promoted Bernard to Chief Engineer!

I wish slugs were more tasty...

[Jimbuna]

Granted, have a plate full more.

I wish I hadn't lost my Chief last night.

[Rockstar]

Granted, you found his car parked outside your house. :timeout:


I wish my honey do list wasn't so long



.

[TarJak]

Granted, it is now shorter that your honey don't list which has grown significantly since you didn't finish your honey do list

I wish time was on my side

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but it is a timebomb.

I wish I knew which one was the longest day.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you now know which one is the longest day, but you forget what it was you wanted to do on the longest day and waste the whole day trying to remember and now have to regret that fact for the longest night

I wish our 4th grandson would hurry up and get here so my son would quit bouncing around the house like a madman on amphetamines

[NealT]

:har::rotfl:

As a grandfather myself, there is absolutely NO WAY I can crush that one...so today, I pass...

[TarJak]

Granted, your grandson arrives and your son stops bouncing around the house like a madman on amphetamines. Your grandson then promptly wakes screaming for milk every 2 hours making your life a sleepless waking hell for the next 6 months. :D (Cruel and heartless I know but if NealT's pair weren't big enough someone had to do it).

I wish I had a bigger pair

[Jimbuna]

Granted, your now called Big Ears.

I wish I could find the time.

[Rockstar]

Granted, but you keep forgetting what it was you wanted to do when you found it.


I wish someone would give me back my bullets.


.

[miner1436]

Granted, but you can't use them.


I wish I could go back in time.

[Rockstar]

Granted, you find yourself atop a 100 foot tall steel tower in a little known place called Alamogordo Bombing and Gunnery Range 16 July 1945 at 5:29:42 in the morning mountain war time. Three seconds later you see a flash of blinding light and POOF you're gone.

I wish I could the look on Miner1436 face from a safe distance.

[TarJak]

Granted, the distance is safe but the view is not and you are blinded by the flash

I wish there was more than a flash in the pan

[Jimbuna]

Granted, there's also a pair of soiled knickers, a greasy spoon, a kangaroos testicle, a .......

I wsh the snow would stop ....

[NealT]

It will, once it has covered you and all around you and smothered you to .....

I wish morning would come quickly so I can see if I survived the night...

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but now you must survive the day because Jimbuna knows where you've been hiding your boat at night.

I wish for a fish on my dish tonight.

[NealT]

Granted, except that today I shall be checking my lobster pots...assuming of course I survive...therefore you go hungry once again.

I wish to know the winning lottery numbers before they are drawn...

[Rockstar]

Granted, you buy the winning numbers only to lose them to someone that robbed you of everthing you own.

I wish I saw NealT leaving the store



.

[Biggles]

Granted, but he takes you with him.

I wish the next person to post good health!:DL

[Raptor1]

Granted, you give your good health to me

I wish Biggles kept some of his good health

[Task Force]

Granded, but he gets greedy and takes all yours.

I wish Biggles would have been fair.

[Rockstar]

Granted, Biggles is fair, but I cheated and took his health from him once again.


I wish a cure is found for Biggles severe case of flatuence




.

[Task Force]

Granted, its a tube that takes the smell and puts it in a box... But you now are stuck in the box.:dead:

I wish I could reverse time 6 hours.

[TarJak]

Granted, you do but fall off our temporal plane whilst doing so. Now no-one has any memory of you

I wish I could pilot a temporal plane

[NealT]

You can, but Bernard cannot and when he pushes the wrong button on the flight console, you vanish never to be seen or heard from again.

I wish it would start snowing...

[Rockstar]

Granted, it is just not where you're at.


I wish I had a flying carpet

[Biggles]

Granted, but it can't carry your weight.

I wish people would keep wishing things about me:O:

[Jimbuna]

Granted, we keep wishing you weren't so ugly.

I wish I had a leg of mince.

[Biggles]

Granted, we keep wishing you weren't so ugly.


Ouch!:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Granted, but you also get a brain of a mouse.

I wish I understood what he really wished about...

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you understand what he wished about, but now you don't care because you're thinking about why no one is wishing things about you

I wish circumcisions were less painful

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but only because your genitals are that of a female.

I wish to test the ultimate.

[TarJak]

Granted, you get to test the ultimate tea strainer

I wish to swap with you

[nikimcbee]

Granted, you get to test the ultimate tea strainer

I wish to swap with you

Granted, but you get a rash!:o


I wish tarjak a happy Mr T Valentines day!

http://www.ieatpaint.com/images/valentine.jpg

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but now you have to share your lova and affection for Mr T with TarJak.

I wish I could watch from behind a two way mirror.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you can watch from behind a two way mirror, but the mirror is mounted the wrong way 'round so you get to watch yourself in the mirror whilst everyone else watches you

I wish checking to see if a person was ticklish was called test tickles.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but you only get to check your theory on prison inmates.

I wish I knew why it is called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is ******** and I am an alcoholic'?

[TarJak]

Granted, after 25 years of attending your suddenly realise that everyone else but you has been using a false name

I wish Nickimcbee and Mr T were not such "good friends" and hadn't shared their friendship with me:o

[NealT]

Granted they didn't. They shared their LOVE with you...

I wish I had more spendable cash in my pocket so I could take the significant other out to dinner...

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but imagine your embarrassment when you discover restaurants don't accept Pesos anymore.

I wish I knew why we we aren't supposed to eat animals, when they are made out of meat.

[TarJak]

Granted, you find out when your butcher offers you one of your own legs

I wish cannibalism was less prevalent in Jimbuna's town. (Local shops for local people).:D

[Rockstar]

Granted, Cannibalism disappears when a salmonella outbreak kills the the local populace after Jimbuna's winkie was served undercooked at a town BBQ.

I wish I was a circus clown with big floppy shoes.

[Task Force]

Granted, but you keep triping over them.

I wish circus clown shoes wernt so big.

[UnderseaLcpl]

Granted, but you keep triping over them.

I wish circus clown shoes wernt so big.


Granted, they are now the size of a normal shoe, and one is promtly shoved up your butt by an angry circus clown who must now wear less funny shoes.

I wish for Task Force to have a good proctologist.

[TarJak]

Granted, he gets you as his proctologist and you are sooooo gooood!:O:

I wish innuendo was insinuated

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but only towards your good self.

I wish I hadn't scalded Mrs Bunas foot last night.

[Biggles]

Granted, now she's angry at you for some other reason that you don't know of.

(Seriously, sorry to hear that, hope she's okay).

I wish...I was cool.

[TarJak]

Granted, jim wraps you in a tea towel with ice and uses you to soothe Mr's Buna's foot.

I wish my daughter would stop being a stroppy cow

[Rockstar]

Granted, all it takes is some deadbeat with no job named Biggles, your new son in-law. And keep the refridgerator full of beer too will ya, Biggles needs his nurishment while he's job hunting online with your computer for the next 7 months.


I wish Biggles and his new bride all the best



.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, they both get all the best of TarJaks wine and beer stocks.

I wish my daughter knew how to cook like her mam.

[Rockstar]

Granted, she cooks like your mam but your mams cooking was never that good

I wish Biggles admitted the truth he's a viking



.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, Biggles admits the truth that he's a Viking, but becomes very aggravated at having to make the admission and gores you with his horny hat

I wish rutabagas were more appetizing

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but only if you mix them with horse manure.

I wish the inevitable consequence.

[Raptor1]

Granted, the inevitable consequence of your heinous crimes against humanity

I wish Jimbuna's consequence would be righteously...righteous

[Rockstar]

Granted, he is righteously aquitted of the crime against humanity and you are found guilty of making absolutley no sense at all and hung by the neck until dead by a mob of bewildered villagers.


I wish I better understood Raptor1


.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but only because you have both entered into a civil ceremony.

I wish the man in the moon was made of cheese.

[NealT]

He is...aged limberger and you are now tied to his hip.

I wish my wife would stop talking on the phone.

[TarJak]

Granted, she stops talking on the phone and talks to you about cleaning the garage, cutting the lawn, etc. etc. etc. For a very loooooooooong time.

I wish I had an easy method of getting posts from one place to another

[NealT]

You do...go out and use a post hole digger to dig another hole, pull up the post, and drag it over to the new hole where you set it. Don't forget to fill the first hold in though once you are done...

I wish I were a guardian...and a seer...and a hellhound all rolled up into one...

[Jimbuna]

Granted, you are now able to predict when you are going to kill yourself as you attempt to protect yourself from the inevitable.

I wish my fish weren't battered.

[Rockstar]

Granted, your fish is now served up on a plate still gasping for air, bon apetit.


I wish I was off to see the The Wonderful Wizard of Oz.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you're off to see The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, which means that you are either Dorothy, The Tin Man, The Cowardly Lion, The Scarecrow or Toto, take your pick

I wish the Wizard was the Whizzer instead

[Jimbuna]

Granted, he is Michael Whizzer and he sooooo likes you.

I wish teleporting was indicative.

[TarJak]

Granted, your most recent teleport indicates that you should have turned left at Albuquerque

I just want to wish you well (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJRVWORYIig)

[NealT]

You do, and 60 years later they find JB at the bottom of one when Oberon decides to look down it. Of course, he does not survive, therefore rewriting SUBSIM history and causing the werewolves to win.

I wish for more vacation time.

[Rockstar]

Granted, but your car and home are repo'd because you're a lazy near-do-well.

I wish I had more money than I deserve.



.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you have more money than you deserve, exactly $1 more, which means you have $1.50 (almost enough to buy a cup of coffee:))

I wish for existential existence in the great unknown and a reuben sandwich

[TarJak]

Granted, your existence in the great unknown becomes extinction as you choke on the last mouthful of your rueben.

I wish the letter 'w' had a different name

[Jimbuna]

Granted, your existence in the great unknown becomes extinction as you choke on the last mouthful of your rueben.

I wish the letter 'w' had a different name

Granted, from now on your known as a anker.

I wish my foibles were artistic.

[NealT]

They are...you are now Wylie Coyote of cartoon fame...

I wish Chinese food lasted longer.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, you Chow Mein and it lasts 8" longer :O:

I wish I had a Crispy Duck.

[TarJak]

Granted, but your method of crisping them takes way too long:
http://www.yeepage.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/0013729e42ea084def8804.jpg

I wish winning was a certainty

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, winning is a certainty, that is if it's winning an all expense paid trip to the Gulag in Ubootcomradeland for 30 years

I wish TarJakistan wasn't going to be without a leader for the next 30 years

[Raptor1]

Granted, Raptorland will take it as a protectorate

I wish...they...would just surrender...

[NealT]

They do...to Jimbunawannaporkdafatbeetchdatsitsacrossfromhimlan d, leaving you powerless.

I wish it wasn't so hard to spell Jimbunawannaporkdafatbeetchdatsitsacrossfromhimlan d.

[TarJak]

Granted, it gets shortened to jimbunasfatb itchland

I wish sleep was easier to come by at 3am

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but only out in the back garden sharing a kennel with the family pet.

I wish there was no way back.

[NealT]

Granted, there is no way to get back to your computer again and you spend the rest of your days in your garden staring at the BFB from your office...who just moved in next door.

I wish my fingers were not so cold...

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but only because you stick em up the big fat ar$e of the bitch next door.

I wish my video evidence was in full blown colour.

[Rockstar]

Granted, but your colorful evidence video causes several jurors to sue the pants off 'ya after it induces them to have a photosensitive epileptic seizure.


I wish I didn't have so many barnacles on my bottom



.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you don't have so many barnacles on your bottom, but you have more carbuncles (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carbuncle) instead.

I wish carbuncles weren't so disgusting

[Jimbuna]

They're not actually....when compared to your bleeding piles.

I wish silence was golden.

[TarJak]

Granted, silence is golden, but you broke yours and cannot cash it in

I wish Jim had kept his silence in a safer place

[Jimbuna]

Granted, inside your wallet and he now has access to youe Aussie Pesos.

I wish the Aussie Peso was worth more.

[NealT]

It is worth more...more than an Italian lira, Turkish lira, Japanese yen...but only by a smidgen.

I wish I could type faster...

[Task Force]

Granted. you type so fast your fingers fall off.

I wish for money.

[Raptor1]

Granted, money now exists, just not in your hands

I wish for the world to be blessed with eternal pizza

[Task Force]

Granted. but its the nastyest pizza you can find.

I wish for the pizza to taste better.

[Freiwillige]

Granted, but the only way to make it taste better is to burn your taste buds off with a steam iron.

I wish I had a Tiger tank!

[A Very Super Market]

Granted. Its rusty, flaky, and completely inoperable. Its also on your bed.

I wish that the thread about rating music didn't die.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, that thread on rating music didn't die, but everyone on it (including you) is listening to "They're Coming To Take Me Away, HaHa" by Napolean XIV or the soundtrack to "The Sound of Music"

I wish music wasn't so deadly

[TarJak]

Granted, but it only ceases to be so after your untimely demise

I wish music hadn't killed DT

[Jimbuna]

Granted, it turns him senile instead.

I wish all wines were fortified.

[TarJak]

Granted, they now had a fortification modifier of +2. This renders your attacks on them null and void and reduces you to drinking that cats piss called broon ale

I wish geordies had better taste