Game: Crush Each Other's Dreams

[Koondawg]

Granted but then you would want to continue the spending spree in another state, find it becomes addicting, and need therapy....


I wish I got paid for giving advice....:smug:

[Raptor1]

Granted, but no one listens to advice anyway, so your services are not needed

I wish people would listen to advice

[TarJak]

Granted, but the advice they are listening to comes from a nutjob like you and they make the universe implode again!

I wish traffic was thinner

[Mush Martin]

Granted now we can fit 150% more traffic on any given stretch of
road.

I wish objects in mirror were further than they appear.

[Koondawg]

Granted MM but then you would need glasses to see objects clearly


I wish Lasiks surgery was 100%....

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, it is now 100% unsuccessful and you can now only see what is inside your head

I wish there was something inside my head

[Jimbuna]

Granted, unfortunately it is sh*t :lol:

I wish doormice could reach the handles.

[Mush Martin]

Granted the doormice reach your love handles by escaping
from your boxers.

I wish I was immune to retaliation

[Koondawg]

Granted but thus the Ole saying....NO pain No gain...


I wish MM hadn't put the thought of doormice crawling out of Jimbos boxers into the loop....

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, but now it's in your brain, forever

I wish doormice were dorkmice instead

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but dorkmice are twice as big and have huge fangs as well as a constant craving for sausage meat.

I wish battery acid wasn't corrosive.

[Schroeder]

Granted, now it's radiactive.

I wish it weren't that expansive to overhaul my car.:dead:

[Mush Martin]

Granted you make fifty bucks putting it in the clapper.

I wish battery acid wasn't corrosive or radioactive too, Stop that Jimbuna:o

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, battery acid is now non-corrosive and non-radioactive, but since it is not corrosive, your battery doesn't work any more and you have to push your car everywhere you go and dorkmice crawl up your boxers

I wish my sh*t filled head wasn't so heavy

[Mush Martin]

Granted you lighten up suddenly and your head emits a perpetual
flatulence out your nose.

I wish I hadnt put that into my mind.:rotfl:

[Digital_Trucker]

I wish I hadnt put that into my mind.:rotfl:

or my nose:rotfl:

[Raptor1]

Granted, but then you missed crushing the dream

I wish I could perform invasive brain surgery on Mush Martin to remove that from his mind

[TarJak]

Granted, however when you do you find that the removal scars you for life with images you can't get out of your brain

I wish I had time to think of something better to type here

[Mush Martin]

Granted but you already hit save and edit is no longer working.

我祝愿您可能读中文:know:

[Jimbuna]

<Iwish you possibly to read Chinese>

Granted, 我很好读了中文.

I wish, 某人给我买饮料 http://www.psionguild.org/forums/images/smilies/wolfsmilies/whistle.gif

[Raptor1]

叶えた

EDIT: GAH, It's Chinese, I knew it

理所当然的，但你必须给我一些

I wish I knew how to distinguish between Chinese and Kanji

[Jimbuna]

Then you have failed, you must translate the previous post :know:

[Raptor1]

You wished you could buy the drinks, or otherwise my translator has failed miserably

EDIT: Oh, you wished somebody would buy the drinks for you...ah well

授予，但是他必须买他们为仿造

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, but he must buy them for counterfeiting?

I wish I could translate as well as Google does

[Jimbuna]

You wished you could buy the drinks, or otherwise my translator has failed miserably

EDIT: Oh, you wished somebody would buy the drinks for you...ah well

授予，但是他必须买他们为仿造

http://www.psionguild.org/forums/images/smilies/wolfsmilies/thumbsup.gif

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but he must buy them for counterfeiting?

I wish I could translate as well as Google does

Granted, but you are still the worlds ugliest polyglot :lol:

I wish carrots cured blindness.

[Biggles]

Granted, but it causes deafness.

I wish I had something to wish.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, but you wish for Jimbuna's dorkmice to crawl up your boxers

I wish Jimbuna would hereafter be referred to as Anubmij:D

[Mush Martin]

Granted Anubmij's s'ecimrood infest your s'rexorb by the s'noillim

I wish someone else would explain that:|\\

[Jimbuna]

Granted, some backward bugga should be along in a minute. :lol:

I wish the Sultans Of Swing were Irish dancers.

[Mush Martin]

Granted now in childhood mark knopfler became a member of River dance
instead of studying to become a demi god of modern guitar.
:nope: ( tut tut careful what you wish for )

I wish mark knopfler restored to his more accustomed place in
music greatness.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, but now he specializes in grunge

I wish I could play guitar as well as Eric Clapton

[Mush Martin]

Granted but your as deaf as Beethoven

I wish neal younge played like the old mark knopfler
from before crush your guitar hero's thread if I cant
have Knopfler back further I wish you all have every
cd and mp 3 changed to slim whitman. except anubmij
who will have all his music change to `ecarebiL even
on his oidar

[STEED]

Not Granted your mad time for your funny pills.

I want to have a a match to burn down this thread.

[Schroeder]

Granted but instead of the thread you set yourself on fire.

I wish I the world wouldn't be that crazy.:nope:

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, the world is not that crazy, it's THAT crazy.

I wish s'anubmij dorkmice would attack Mushyland

[NealT]

Granted, but since your father-in-law, who is also the president of your company, was there, and since the country was destroyed in the attack, your company folds, your paycheck bounces, you are without health insurance to cover you when you have a heart attack when your bank balance goes negative and they cancel all of your credit cards, you lose your house to forclosure, and you die because the doctors refuse to treat you because your last check to them bounced.

I wish my left hand did not hurt so much so I could have written a longer sentence.

[ubootcomrade]

Granted, it got better but then your feet fall off

I wish I was a better dictator

[NealT]

Granted, but then someone wants your job and you are assassinated.

I wish people would not respond so quickly to these posts.

[Koondawg]

Granted but this thread wouldnt be going anywhere as fast


I wish that the 5 hour wait before replying is enough

[Jimbuna]

Granted, just long enough to make me a curry, then pour me a brandy and light my cigar.

I wish extremists were on the extremity.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but that would lead to horrible deformations that would eventually cause you to die in the most aweful way possible

I wish there were ships of shapes and sizes, scattered out across the bay

[Mush Martin]

Granted but as skipper of the thunderchild the martians Get you first ( :up:)

I wish the martians would now get the snuffles.

[TarJak]

Granted, but at your next probe appointment, you catch the snuffle in a place that snuffles are not normally associated with

I wish subsim was a real sub

[Mush Martin]

Granted your hot racking with D.T.

I wish I had my own cabin.

[STEED]

Granted now your lost at sea due to being locked in.


When the heck is this thread going to end I need to make my tea.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, you may as well make it for everyone else on here whilst your at it.

I wish I get the one sandwich without the mouldy meat in it.

[UnderseaLcpl]

Granted, you may as well make it for everyone else on here whilst your at it.

I wish I get the one sandwich without the mouldy meat in it.

Granted, but you miss out on the fresh, delicious cake the rest of us are having.

I wish I could be the weapons officer.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you are the weapons officer, but the only weapons you have are crossbows with suction cup dart arrows

I wish the world would stop for about five minutes so I could catch up

[Raptor1]

Granted, but you stop too

I wish to mutiny against the so-called skipper of the Subsim, and that you all will join me

[Koondawg]

Granted but there is a mole and shoots you in the ars...killing you slowely


I wish global warming would slow down a little....

KD

[ubootcomrade]

Granted, it slows down so much that it puts its self in reverse and now we have the threat of global freezing. :rotfl:

I wish the cake wasnt a lie.

[Raptor1]

Nope, the cake is a lie, accept it

[NealT]

Granted you accept it, but then it turns out to be poisoned and you die a slow and painful death.

I wish this thread were never to be closed.

[Jimbuna]

granted, but we all become too old and senile to notice.

I wish dominoes were tasty.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but eating them is still unhealthy

I wish this was a triumph

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, it's a triumph, but not the kind you were looking for. It's a dilapidated, rusty Triumph TR-6 with only 3 wheels and no engine.

I wish I could fart

[STEED]

Granted now you can not stop farting and your arse stings.

I am addicted to this thread, I need help and fast. :88)

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you get help, but it's from the rest of the thread-icts (Edit : was that fast enough:D)

I wish I could stop farting

[STEED]

Granted now you explode from all that gas you will not let out.

I want more help.

[Raptor1]

Granted, you can get some help from Prof. Raptor1

I wish STEED would start wishing things so we can crush his wishes

[STEED]

Granted and now you pay me $10,000 for this...........

I want to have breasts.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you have breasts, but they are attached to your bum

I wish I hadn't said that 'cause now the picture is in my head:shifty:

[STEED]

Granted, you have breasts, but they are attached to your bum

I wish I hadn't said that 'cause now the picture is in my head:shifty:

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

[STEED]

Granted now you got a picture of me with a sexy butt.

I want to get off this crazy thread.

[Raptor1]

Granted, you are now banished for wanting instead of wishing

I wish STEED would stop violating the rules of the thread

[STEED]

Not granted bend over for six of the best.

I wish for jim to get posting on this thread so I can sod off to bed.

[STEED]

Granted jim will be here in a few hours and you can feck off and don't come back till next week.

YIPPEE :lol:

I wish for a sun tan this Saturday.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you get a suntan this Saturday, but it all peels off on Sunday

I wish the election was over and that Howdy-Doody won in a landslide write-in campaign

[NealT]

Granted, his name turns out not to be Jimbuna and we all have to suffer through the endless speeches punctuated by smilies all day long.


I wish there was no such thing as an evil thought.

[Mush Martin]

Granted suddenly a good guy in a white hat comes and kicks your
ass as a kind of expression of his all around feeling of well being towards
mankind.

I wish there was balanced thought.

[NealT]

Granted, but then there would be no need for a legal system and then we would face a dramatic increase in the unemployment rolls because there would be no need for the lawyers anymore.

I wish it weren't so hard to think this time of the night.

[Task Force]

Granted but now its hard to think during the day.

I wish for a hotdog, not one of those little weener dogs either.:lol:

[Raptor1]

Granted, you get a hot dog, it's dead so you have to pay for disposal of the body

I wish I didn't need to go now

[UnderseaLcpl]

I wish I didn't need to go now


Granted, you're already gone. Far, far away from all of us.


I wish Dr.Pepper really made the world taste better.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but people eventually get tired of the taste of Nurse World and insist on the right to taste Mrs Pepper.

I wish I didn't have to walk the dog today.

[TarJak]

Granted, the dog is going to walk you

I wish KL would get onto TS

[HunterICX]

I wish I didn't have to walk the dog today.


Granted, but because of that he will crap all over the place inside your house.

I wish the radio didnt play the same songs everyday.....

HunterICX

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, the radio doesn't play the same songs everyday, it only plays one song all day long and that song is "They're coming to take me away, HAHA"

I wish they weren't coming to take me away

[Jimbuna]

Granted, those nice men in wjite coats are only coming to sedate you for your own safety/wellbeing.

I wish time stood still.

[Tango589]

Granted, those nice men in wjite coats are only coming to sedate you for your own safety/wellbeing.

I wish time stood still.

Granted. It's now forever just before the pubs are due to open.

I wish BOB II had the flyable Tiger Moth.

[HunterICX]

I wish BOB II had the flyable Tiger Moth.

Granted, but there will be a moron with you in that aircraft that always pushes the stick in the opposite dirrection.

I wish to be a spectator of that, 1 tiger moth 2 pilots doing the opposite with their control sticks.

HunterICX

[Schroeder]

Granted, you are that other moron in the plane.;)

I wish Hunter would never get a Spit IX in Il2 to shoot me down.:o

[HunterICX]

Granted, you are that other moron in the plane.;)

I wish Hunter would never get a Spit IX in Il2 to shoot me down.:o

Granted, it will be a Hawker Tempest V then.

I wish to know what happens to Schröder's HE111 when I give it a Full burst with 4 x 20 mm Hispano's

HunterICX

[Schroeder]

Granted, it disintegrates. But you can't enjoy the view for long because you get killed by debris.
This all happened of course 30sec. after I switched the 111 to level stabilizer and bailed out.:yep:

I wish Hunter would never get a plane better than the Polikarpov U2 in Il2.

[Jimbuna]

Granted all he gets in the future are Dutch Air Force planes.

I wish I could get intimate with 'the crack of dawn'. (British term for first part of an evenings end).

[TarJak]

Granted, unfortunately Dawn takes offence at your intimacy and slaps you in the face and puts an AVO out on you.

I wish HunterICX would stop eating pizza and start his server!

[Mush Martin]

Granted but the subsequent server crash somehow mysteriously reaches
into your computer and turns you IL 2 installation into mario kart.

I wish I could drive like Yoshi

[Schroeder]

Granted but he kicks you from it.

I wish the il2 guys wouldn't all want to kill me.:o

*Edit*
Too sloooowwww

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted you not only live like Yoshi, your are Yoshi, and as such must figure out which small orifice on your body you want to pass the eggs the size of your head out of.:D

I wish my pizza had anchovies on it

Edit : Ditto on the too slow

[Mush Martin]

Granted I now grant your wish to be able to type faster schroeder
and as soon as your done transcribing war and peace your wish will
come true.

I wish I was to slow.



[edit] hey I was too slow cool im gonna leave this one as is.

[NealT]

Granted, but then you don't get home in time to catch the mailman and 9 months later you have another mouth to feed.

I wish I had some chinese food to eat tonight.

[ubootcomrade]

Granted, but the Chinese want it back.


I wish I would hurry up and complete the Pyro achivements in TF2.

[NealT]

Granted, then the game crashes and you have to start all over again.

I still wish I had chinese food for dinner.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you now have your Chinese food for dinner, but he is a Sumo wrestler and you explode before you can eat all of him

I wish I hadn't just grossed myself out

[Mush Martin]

granted your now so accustomed to the thought that you start parking
you VW micro bus across from the sumo school and watch through
binoculars.

I wish I could be just like mush:doh:

[Randomizer]

Granted, you get stuck in a car-crusher at the local wreckers but later the autopsy determines that you are more gruel than mush.

I wish you could have your cake and eat it too.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, Mush can have his cake and eat it, too, but you can't

I wish I could stay awake longer:doh:

[Koondawg]

Granted but the song the Night the Lights went out in georgia would be playing over and over in your head.


I wish I hadn't suggested that....its playing over and over again in my head...

KD

[antikristuseke]

Granted, but the song Final Countdown will play over and over in your head.

I wish I hadn't suggested that....its playing over and over again in my head...:damn:

[Task Force]

Ganted now it`s a old woman singing opera badly.:up:

I wish that songs wouldnt get stuck in my head unless I want them to.;)

[Jimbuna]

Granted, they now get stuck in your throat instead.

I wish the sound of music could be no 1 in the charts.

[Mush Martin]

Granted it suddenly surges back to the top of the charts in port
stanley where you suddenly find your self without passage home
for a year, on the bright side the woman across from you sings
like ethel murman and will be stuck with you for the year you
are boarding at richard simmons' new sheep ranch down there.

I wish you would all get "the da da da" stuck in all your heads.
[edit] what you will and what you wont un hunh what you can
and what you caint un hunh di da da da.........


(well thats it lads im off to work)

[Jimbuna]

Granted, the da da da, di di did get stuck in all our heads.

I wish I wasn't due back to work on Monday.

[NealT]

Granted, then then you wouldn't miss all of the fun and games and sunburn and road rage.

I wish I weren't due back at work on Sunday.

[Koondawg]

Granted but the church put in the request....


I wish I was on vacation till the 9th instead of the 8th

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but we won't bee seeing you at the SS Meet one must presume.


I wish toadstools were as comfy as chairs.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, all chairs are now as comfy as toadstools

I wish:doh::88):|\\

[Task Force]

granted but it is thouroly chrushed.;)

I wish people would stop squeesing the charmin.:cool:

[Raptor1]

Granted, they burn it instead

I wish the Lord of Darkness didn't lose his ring of evil

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, the Lord of Darkness loses his toilet bowl ring instead and dances gayly around in amazement at the whiteness of his bowl

I wish I hadn't thought anything about toilet bowls

[Mush Martin]

Granted all such thoughts are now replaced with a permanent tatooed
image that blocks all other thought for the rest of your life.
its an image of a man carrying his belly in a wheel barrow.

I wish I knew how I said that without seeing it in my head, cool trick.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but it causes your brain to flip out, and you become a vegetable.

I wish I knew what kind of vegetable you'd like to be.

[Task Force]

Granted but you turn out to be scard of vertables and never see what kind he is.

I wish I had a magic button that when I press it the price of stuff I buy would go down.

[Raptor1]

Granted, it makes whatever you bought just now's price go down

I wish buttons weren't a myth

[TarJak]

Granted, but the police now want to talk to you about the "free" stuff you have been "buying".

I wish i could fly like this without buying a Honda:
http://www.youtube.com/v/Ys19q-mGN2Q&hl

[Raptor1]

Granted, but I think an aircraft would be safer should you run into these

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/c9/Hyde_Park_Anti-aircraft_guns_H_993.jpg

I still wish buttons were real and not just a myth

[NealT]

Granted, but then the velcro makers would go out of business, there would be less need for plastic, and the earth would be saved from internal destruction.

I wish I had not eaten that Mexican food for dinner last night.

[mcf1]

Granted, but then the velcro makers would go out of business, there would be less need for plastic, and the earth would be saved from internal destruction.

I wish I had not eaten that Mexican food for dinner last night.

Granted, but how about Mexican food for breakfast today?
I wish my insureance would pay me for a new motorcycle now and not in two months

[Raptor1]

Granted, but the place you bought it from has a stock problem and can only deliver in 2 months

I wish there was a good movie I could go to

[TarJak]

Granted, go to this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rwjKAZwAPLk

I wish youtube was mytube

[Raptor1]

Granted, but changing the name won't matter much, will it?

I wish people who comment on uT00b weren't so pathetically stupid

[seaniam81]

Granted, but people are generally stupid.

I wish I had my own plane

[Raptor1]

Granted, you can have a used He 162, the engine has seen only 20 hours or so of flight, so there's no need to replace it just yet...just be careful the glue doesn't fail


I wish I had this trait

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/1/11/Bloody_Mess.jpg

[NealT]

Granted but then you look in a mirror and POOF! You explode into a thousand chards of silvercolored glass and bring 1000 years bad luck to yourself.

I really wish I hadn't eaten that Mexican food last night for dinner...

:doh:

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you didn't eat the Mexican food for dinner last night, you ate the silly umbrellas over the tables in front of the Mexican restaurant instead.

I wish I hadn't slept so late this morning

[Raptor1]

Granted, you slept so late this evening

I wish to crush the enemy

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but it is the enemy within your mind, therefore you kill yourself.

I wish monopoly money was of a value.

[Raptor1]

Granted, it has value while your playing Monopoly

I wish I could beat Bill Gates in a game of Monopoly

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but seeing as how there is no Microsoft square in the game you will have to make do with the water works.

I wish my worst enemies ears would turn to a$$holes and crap down their neck.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, your worst enemies ears turn into rectums and they crap down their necks, but your worst enemy is sitting on your head at the moment and we all know crap goes downhill

I wish my head would quit going :yep:

[Raptor1]

Granted, it now goes :/\\!! instead

I wish the Red Triangle would never return

[Jimbuna]

Granted, it is replaced by a blue one.

I wish my girlfriends yorkshire puddings would rise.

[NealT]

Granted, but then...oh well never mind...I wouldn't wish that on any guy...

I wish I were younger so I could dance with Julianne Hough.

[seaniam81]

Granted, But you would probably end up drooling all over her causing her to run away from you tripping and breaking her ankle. Not only do you have to pay for her medical bills but she slaps you with a restraining order. AND to twist the knife everybody here at subsim saw you do it live.


I wish i had my own Kilo sub

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you have your own Kilo sub, but it is in the Great Salt Lake

I wish I knew why

[ubootcomrade]

Granted, on a drunken rampage, jimbuna and raptor1 plant it there to thwart the obviously non-existant nazi-communist moon people in a poor attempt to make them invade Ubootcomradeland.


I wish that crush made sense, even I didnt understand what I was on about :88)

[Raptor1]

Granted, it now makes sense and therefore comes true

I wish the Communist moon-people I was fighting weren't non-existant, so I could annihilate them

[Mush Martin]

Granted but as it turns out Communist moon people turns out to
be local ubootecomradeland vernacular for the entire borg collective
while it experiencing a species wide week of PMS.

I wish I could watch

[ubootcomrade]

Granted, you get a front row seat as you are conscripted into the glorious army of ubootcomradeland and die a horrible death in the third battle for Ubootcomradegrad

I wish I won the umpteenth war aginst the nazi-commies from the moon/mars/yorkshire

[Raptor1]

Granted, but the commies start a resistance movement that soon ties down half your army

I wish the socialists weren't so social

[Mush Martin]

Granted, but the commies start a resistance movement that soon ties down half your army

I wish the socialists weren't so social

Granted anti socialism supplants socialism world wide
and takes off completely soon every other person
in the world is a member of the antisocial party
and so everybody hates you now.

I wish your command centres would all fill with
tribbles.

[NealT]

Granted but then you realize you forgot one and your own bedroom fills with tribbles and makes it impossible for you and your significant other to.....

I wish that stupid hurricane in the Gulf would just fizzle out instead of hitting shore.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but then we have to find another excuse to what caused all the property damage

I wish I had a Maschinenkanone 108

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but you have no ammo because manufacturing ceased many years ago.

I wish I knew who killed Noddy.

[mcf1]

Granted, but you have no ammo because manufacturing ceased many years ago.

I wish I knew who killed Noddy.
Granted, but you get arrested by the CIA because it's Top Secret

I wish I could speak Spanish

[STEED]

Granted your now the new dictator of Spain and no one like you

I wish I could break wind right now.

[Raptor1]

Granted, you broke the wind and now it gets way too hot around here

I wish I could fix the wind

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you go back in time in a bubble travelling at faster than the speed of light, fix the wind with a cork but STEED explodes in a ball of fire and other nasty stuff

I wish I could pronounce Ubootcomradegrad correctly

[seaniam81]

Granted, but the day you do the earth will stop spinning, and fire will rain from the skies, and we all die.

I wish i had a tribble

[Raptor1]

Granted, but you know those Klingon neighbours from downstairs...?

I wish I had Klingon neighbours

[STEED]

Granted now your in the thick of a major battle with the Romulans next door.

I wish we had naked women news readers.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you now have naked women newsreaders, but they are Zambonian and weigh 573 pounds

I wish I knew which planet Zambonia was

[Raptor1]

Granted, it was the planet you came from

I wish Zambonians didn't have collective long-term memory loss

[Jimbuna]

Granted, they now have long term weight loss and are the size of pygmies.

I wish trivial persuits were serious.

[Raptor1]

Granted, you now seriously pursue useless trivia

I wish I knew...why so serious?

[Tango589]

Granted, you now seriously pursue useless trivia

I wish I knew...why so serious?

Granted. It's so serious because the naked Zambonian newsreaders have no sense of humour.

I wish I knew why the chicken crossed the road.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, it wanted to get to the other side.

I wish carrot cake was made with a different vegetable.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but since the cake is a lie it really doesn't matter

I wish you could wish something

[NealT]

Granted but then your post count would be less than 1000.

I wish I had real mac and cheese for dinner tonight instead of that fake stuff.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, but it's a Mac computer swimming in melted Limberger

I wish the visions of naked Zambonian newreaders weren't haunting me and driving me stark raving mad

[UnderseaLcpl]

I wish the visions of naked Zambonian newreaders weren't haunting me and driving me stark raving mad

Granted, you are driven stark raving mad by being forced to sponge-bathe morbidly obese male mud-wrestlers after being made to watch their matches.

I wish that.... um... U.S. Americans?.....would use their...um....education? to help the U.S., uh.... I mean....Africa...and like... the Iraq...and the Asian countries?

[Platapus]

I wish that.... um... U.S. Americans?.....would use their...um....education? to help the U.S., uh.... I mean....Africa...and like... the Iraq...and the Asian countries?

Granted but we use our education to help ourselves to their resources. Muhahahaha


I wish that Boston Cream Pie was not so fattening.

[TarJak]

Granted, just so long as you don't eat it, you should be fine.

I wish I could take the cake

[seaniam81]

Granted, but as Raptor pointed out the cake is a lie.

I wish i was dating Michelle Trachtenberg

[headcase]

Granted, but if the cake is a lie then Pie must be truth.

I wish I was on the gig with Steely Dan.

[TarJak]

Granted, you get to be the official Steely Dan crack ho and roadie

I wish the lie was true

[Jimbuna]

Granted, all lies are henceforth truths....just don't be going all truthful to your missus.

I wish the bitch sitting opposite me would go out and choke on her lunch.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, the bitch sitting opposite you goes out and chokes on her lunch, comes back and regurgitates all over your desk

Once again, I wish I hadn't just eaten

[STEED]

Granted you just thrown up.

I wish for big breasted women do the weather forecast.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but you don't want to know how big

I wish the weather forcasts would be canned, they don't help anyone

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, the weather forecasts are all canned, but in canning them the weather gets canned also and we are now faced with, not global warming or global cooling, but global nothing

Oh I wish that it would rain, rain, rain

[Randomizer]

Granted but it rains, rain, rains within a 10 metre circle centered on your head. Even indoors.

I wish I had a Zamboni fitted with a 105mm L7 rifle.

[NealT]

Granted but then the rifle recoil would cause the Zamboni to slide backwards on the ice, causing the propane tank to explode, and you would be history along with the ice capades.

I wish it were dinnertime.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but the recoil kills him after 1 shot

EDIT: Gah, fine

Granted, but you don't have any food

I wish I had a T-34 that works (with fuel) that I could drive around

[NealT]

Granted, but then a M-1A comes along with a Cheetah and a Panther and you turn into a crispy critter.

I wish it were not as difficult to sneeze.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, it is so easy to sneeze now that you can't stop sneezing

I wish I had a clue

[Raptor1]

Granted, but you have no idea what

I wish I knew what

[Tango589]

Granted but you have no idea when.

I wish I was 15' tall.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but your spine fails and you die

I wish your spine was made out of something stronger

[ubootcomrade]

Granted, its now made of steel but its a nightmare for him to sit down or bend over.

I wish I had a kewuffleagugator

[Task Force]

granted you get your kewuffleagugator, But you realy didnt want it.

I wish I knew what a kewuffleagugator is.:yep:

[fatty]

Granted, its now made of steel but its a nightmare for him to sit down or bend over.

I wish I had a kewuffleagugator

Granted. I googled it to find out what it was. No results. Since it cannot be found on google, it must not exist. So I present you with a box of air.

I wish I could take better photographs.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, but you take other people's photographs and are arrested for theft, fraud and plagiarism, hire a lawyer, are acquitted and are elected President of the United States

I wish I knew which witch was which

[Raptor1]

Granted, you can take better photographs of secret military documents that gets you sent to an obscure military base to spend the rest of your days in

EDIT: Gah

Granted, but the information was planted to deceive you intentionally, so you don't REALLY know which witch was which

I wish I knew where the obscure military base was

[Task Force]

Granted but the only reason you know where it is is because you are in it.

I which that everyone on subsim (including me) who has at least 50 posts and follows the rules would get a free copy of the next silent hunter game. The deluxe version if there is one.:D And the person who crushes this dream gets also gets one hundred dollars. (None of this is going to be bought by me)

[Raptor1]

Granted, but since you made no wish (Which's don't count), it cannot be granted or crushed

I wish Task Force didn't make such an easily exploitable mistake

[Jimbuna]

Granted, it now makes multiple easily exploitable mastakes instead.

I wish my ticket to texas next month was cheaper.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, your ticket to texas is cheaper, but now it is for last month

I wish I had a Mountain Dew

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but it turns out it is literally mountain dew... fresh from this morning.:up:

I wish that I could curl my moustache.



THIS IS WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE (COMPARISON, ANYWAY; IGNORE THE BEARD):

http://www.wizardofozcostumes.com/uploads/accessories_mustache_corone.jpg

[NealT]

Granted, but then the hairs dig into your skin and your jaw is wired shut.

I wish I had been the one to win the $1,000,000 on DOND last night...

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you are now a ditzy blonde from Texas:D

I wish they hadn't poured out that Texas soil and dung on the show

[Randomizer]

Granted, they poured it onto your living room floor instead.

I wish the enemy was not at the gates.

[Raptor1]

Granted, he's already inside

I wish the enemy would go away

[ubootcomrade]

Granted, the imperial forces of communist Ubootcomradeland who have invaded raptor1land for the 18th time this month, manage to get through the gates of raptorgrad and spend 2 days raping and pillaging and eating icecream, but they soon leave when they get bored and take the national supply of icecream with them.

I wish I would stop invading raptorland.

[TarJak]

Granted, you decide to invade Poland instead untimately resulting in you blowing your brains out in a bunker somewhere in Berlin.

I wish my wife would hurry up and arrive so we can go out

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but she arrives with a boat load of company from work and they expect a welcome drink, a few nibbles, oh....and a movie if you don't mind.

I wish the bitch sitting opposite me at work was TarJaks blind date at the SS Meet next month.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but since we have destroyed her so many times already, TarJak must accept a twisted pile of meat as his date

I wish twisted piles of meat tasted better

[UnderseaLcpl]

I wish twisted piles of meat tasted better


Granted, your ten-man orgy now has a can of whipped cream. Enjoy the sausage!:rotfl:


I wish people would use their damn turn indicators (properly) when they drive.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, people now use their damn turn indicators (properly) when they drive, but since they never check to see if the damn things work or not, they don't work

I wish things worked all the time

[NealT]

Granted, but then all of the Maytag repairmen would be out of business and the unemployment rate would go skyhigh - leading to mass revolt and rebellion and internal strife - ultimately to civil war. Your family would be destroyed and your life would be meaningless.

I wish that Cajun Salmon Dip were not so good...

[Mush Martin]

granted the dip is fine but the salmon kills you.

I wish I hadnt crushed my cpu.

[Raptor1]

Granted, your CPU now overheats and burns down your house

I vish mein CPU vaz stronger und faster

[Randomizer]

Granted, it is now a stronger und faster Communist Party Unit and it has invaded your monitor, bombed your printer and has announced that it intends to totally destroy Raptorland.

I wish beer was a breakfast drink.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but you can't drink anything else

I wish I could convict and sentence him to death

[UnderseaLcpl]

I wish I could convict and sentence him to death

Granted, you both live in North Korea and you are a high-ranking party official. However, Randomizer is a popular figure with the people, so you are summarily executed for executing him and undermining the Communist ideal.


I wish for good fortune to smile upon us all.

[Raptor1]

Granted, it smiles as it laughs at our pathetic fate

I wish that good fortune would stop laughing

[Tango589]

Granted, it smiles as it laughs at our pathetic fate

I wish that good fortune would stop laughing

Granted, it now scowls at you in a way that would make old women faint and babies fill their nappies.

I wish the right hand side of my face wasn't numb.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, now the right side face of your hand is numb

I wish I knew what I just said

[Raptor1]

Granted, but the knowledge doesn't help you one bit in life

I wish you knew what you just said

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, but the knowledge doesn't help me one bit in life (ah, wait, I just crushed myself:hmm:)

I wish I'd never said that which I did not know what I said

[UnderseaLcpl]

I wish I'd never said that which I did not know what I said

Granted, you were strangled by your umbilical cord before birth.


I wish I were GLaD

[Raptor1]

Granted, but the cake is still a lie

I wish I could keep on trying 'till I ran out of cake

[UnderseaLcpl]

I wish I could keep on trying 'till I ran out of cake

Granted, your heart is broken and you are killed. And torn to pieces. And every piece was thrown into a fire. But look on the bright side; the science got done and you made a neat gun for the people who are still alive:D


I wish more people got the Portal reference

[TarJak]

Granted, more people get it but still don't find it funny.

I wish boring meetings would end quicker

[Randomizer]

Granted, but that just allows time for more boring meetings to be scheduled back to back.

I wish supper had been pub food and cold beers.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but now you have a terrible headache

I wish the crows will feed on your rotting corpse (Not Randomizer, rather...YOU!)

[TarJak]

Granted, but the crows that fed on my rotting corpse decide to fly over your place on their way home and suddenly get stricken with sever diarrhea.

I wish the fetid remains of my rotting corpse finds peace at Raptor1's place.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, seeing as he lives in a swamp, that shouldn't be a problem.

I wish daleks were friendly to you know who.

[Mush Martin]

Granted the Daleks are friendly to the woman who sits across from
you.

I wish Jimbuna was locked out of the tardis

[TarJak]

Granted, but as he's a copper he'll still have a key

I wish froth was something more substantial

[Jimbuna]

Granted, much more substantial than vapour.

I wish the bitch sitting opposite me would fail her bi-annual medical tomorrow.

[TarJak]

Granted, she fails due to the STD she just gave you

I wish vapour was more substantial than froth

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but only by 1ppm, so nobody atually notices.

I wish I could pas on this horrible looking rash on my nether regions to TJ.

[Mush Martin]

Granted but in order to get all the way to sydney it takes the
form of a distinctly bitter global pandemic and as patient zero
you are incarcerated for the rest of your natural years in a
small cell with just enough room in it for the woman who sits
across from you, to sit across from you which she does for
the rest of your natural days.

I wish I couldve thought up a better one than that.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you think up one better than that, a crush so monumentally humongous that it crushes the wishes of all living beings future, past and present and there is no need for this thread any more

I wish this thread didn't have to end

[Raptor1]

Granted, but it will end, volunteraly

I wish this thread didn't end

[Mush Martin]

Granted it didnt but as such as it continues to exist it poses a threat
to you as evidence of your instability psychosis and imaginativeness
society puts you on trial prior to you actually commiting any
actual crime in any actual country you get a good lawer but he is corrupt
and doesnt really do anything but submit a guilty plea on your behalf.
he leaves with your wife, your dog, your truck your best fishing rod and shotgun, a full bottle of Johhny walker red label and your lastt twenty four
stella artois'. He submits a bill that somehow is perpetual with global economy
crushing interest rates and this is percieved as an increase somehow
in your revenue by the tax man who submit that your previous conviction
supposes your guilt in a tax evasion scheme with no evidence but a favourable ruling from the courts who are currently trying to stop people
like you from reoffending as a result the taxmans compound interest
is added to the interest from your lawers bill. as obviously you cant
get to the obviously giant stash of stolen and embezzled money society just extends your sentence purpetually adding a hundred years per day
to it as you await a final sentencing as jims roomate listing to
sarah palin lady across the desk from him.

in your defence though they may have been a little hasty but really you
should know better.


I wish I thought up a better one than that.

[NealT]

You did, but then when you typed it, your fingers refused to spell the words correctly and so you chopped them off to nubs and that is all that you could hammer out with your hurting, bloody fingers which kept frying your keyboard.

I wish the songs of the world were not so musical.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, the songs of the world are not so musical, they are now complete and utterly useless noise that drives you mad slowly and insidiously as you ride the elevator up and down, up and down, never getting off, listening to the Muzak renditions of the noise that the songs of the world have become

I wish my eyes didn't get tired reading Mushes Crushes

[STEED]

Granted now your in love with Mush.

I wish to have what I call a bongadongahoophooptrible.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but you secretely developed an allergy to it in the last week

I wish Spore will be as good as I expect it to be

[Jimbuna]

granted, but your system specs aren't good enough to run it.

I wish my backside was at the front.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, your backside is at the front of the line at the "Blue Oyster"

I wish I had a video camera

[STEED]

Granted and now your filming jimbo at the "Blue Oyster"

I wish the world would disappear up your ass Digital_Trucker for a laugh.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but your lack of wishing causes you to die horribly and miserably

I wish STEED didn't forget to wish for the Communist's demise

[STEED]

Granted "DEATH TO COMMUNISMS AND ALL THAT SAIL IN IT"

And now your buying lunch for the next 20 years.


I wish I had a nice big pair of tits.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you have a nice big pair of honkers, but they're attached to your chest

I wish the world hadn't disappeared up my ass for a laugh

[STEED]

Granted but now its up your ass so jimbo can take pictures

I wish I had the right to slap mustard over my head to restore my hair loss. :rotfl:

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but you upset your lover Gordon because that was his favourite task.

I wish STEED would be honest and truthful to Gordon and confess his infatuation and love with Tony.

[STEED]

Not Granted I rather jump in the sea full of sharks.

I wish for free beer.

[Mush Martin]

Granted you have all the free non alcoholic beer money cant buy

I wish whomsoever tries to crush this wish burns at least one of
his fingers a few minutes prior to seeing the post and responding.

[STEED]

Granted but I am responding on the behalf of Digital_Trucker

I wish all the men could have multiple orgasms.

[Mush Martin]

Granted they do of course that precludes you due to a permanent
pre pubescent immaturity.

I wish I had thought of that sooner here have a free beer.:up:

[Randomizer]

Granted except it is still non-alcoholic but now it is also flat and warm too.

I wish that compass's pointed to true west.

[Mush Martin]

Granted now all compasses point to Bute Montana, Globally navigation
is unaffected but boyscout troops worldwide are lost on orientation
march's and die of exposure in their thousands your post is ultimately
found responsible and michael moore makes a clever film about you
called random wishes
criticizing you publicly worldwide.


I wish I had some popcorn.

[Jimbuna]

Granted

http://img396.imageshack.us/img396/6942/popcorncowtx0.gif

I wish I had a Vindaloo curry.

[STEED]

Granted now all compasses point to Bute Montana, Globally navigation
is unaffected but boyscout troops worldwide are lost on orientation
march's and die of exposure in their thousands your post is ultimately
found responsible and michael moore makes a clever film about you
called random wishes
criticizing you publicly worldwide.


I wish I had some popcorn.

Granted but you must eat all the popcorn in the world in the next day

I wish I could punch the next person in the face for breaking my wish.

[Mush Martin]

(posted on behalf of steed) Granted

I wish I had some butter

[STEED]

Granted now you got to tell me who you posted on behalf of or you get your ass whipped.

I wish this thread to go on forever.