Game: Crush Each Other's Dreams

[Koondawg]

Granted....:hmm:

I wish I knew what the wish that Kranz wished for..

KD

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but now it attracts her to you!!

I wish I had a ringside viewing seat.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you have a ringside viewing seat so close that SHE is sitting on you

I wish that SHE doesn't crush Jimbuna, but does perform a figure 4 leg lock on the person in the seat next to him

[TarJak]

Granted, you have the seat next to him.

I wish ringisde seats were less painful

[Task Force]

Granted, now there as painful as sitting on a seat of spikes.

I wish for me to get a seat at the back of the stadium.:yep:

[ubootcomrade]

Granted, but I took it.

I wish I had the "wish crushing and revoloution stopping machine of death 4000"

:p

[kranz]

Granted, but: it comes with MS software, blue screens, CTD, firewall bugs and version 5000 is already in shops.

I wish that Koondawg from Pasadena, CA improved his English so that he would understand my "pro-english wishes".

[NealT]

Granted, his English is far superior to yours, and you have a food induced short circuit of the brain, causing you to translate everything into the long dead language of Ancient - so no one understand you now...

I wish all Subsimmers had a happy holiday season full of joy and good tidings.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but GWX3.0 is delayed until the New Year.

I wish to take a bow.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but the police is not happy about you stealing that bow

I wish Jimbuna wouldn't be sentenced to life imprisonment

[Schroeder]

Granted, now he will get executed.

I wish Raptor would finaly accept that I'm the greatest artist of all times.

[Raptor1]

Nah-uh, not granted

Just behold my latest masterpiece:

http://img129.imageshack.us/img129/475/masterpiecezw9.jpg

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but he is freed on appeal because of the bow he took.

http://img517.imageshack.us/img517/2430/thgenie9hyoj8gx1.gif

I wish I could get these spuds finished before the wife gets home.
http://img217.imageshack.us/img217/18/img20060814215651mw4.gif

[Schroeder]

Granted, but the rest of the dinner goes wrong and you don't have anything to eat at christmas.
@ Raptor
Here is the proof:
http://i402.photobucket.com/albums/pp105/Schroeder81/haus.jpg
My house has a chimney and yours don't. That makes me the greatest.:smug:

I wish people would start to worship me.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but you are labled as a dangerous cult and imprisoned

I wish to make a piece of art so awe-inspiring that Schroeder will never challenge my position as the greatest artist of all time again

[iambecomelife]

Granted, but the rest of the dinner goes wrong and you don't have anything to eat at christmas.
@ Raptor
Here is the proof:
http://i402.photobucket.com/albums/pp105/Schroeder81/haus.jpg
My house has a chimney and yours don't. That makes me the greatest.:smug:

I wish people would start to worship me.

Granted, but then people start pestering you at all hours of the day for solutions to life's problems. No matter how rude you are, you can't deter them. Finally, you sneak into a plastic surgery clinic after hours, give yourself a facelift without anasthesia, assume a new ID, and spend the rest of your life in Tahiti living "off the grid", a la John Connor. Meanwhile, the disappearance of humanity's divine figure plunges the world into chaos. As you sip margaritas on the beach, bloodshed & pestilence stalk the globe.

I wish I could go back in time to 1939 and command my own Tribal Class destroyer.

http://uboat.net/allies/warships/photos/br/dd_hms_eskimo_02_1939.jpg

[Task Force]

Granted, But a torpedo from my u boat puts a hole in it, soon it sinks, and your adrift in the middle of the north sea.

I wish I was the best artist on the subsim forums.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but not even close to the greatest artist of all time (Which is me, BTW)

I wish Task Force hadn't so foolishly thrown away his career to become an unsuccessful artist

[Task Force]

Granted he... or... I.... threw your carrier away instead.

I wish I had a good wish, that would be hard to crush.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but people would only squash it instead.

I wish currency was an unknown entity.

[TarJak]

Granted, you know have no concept of currency and get banged up for stealing a Kiwi's sheep.

I wish Christmas came more than once a year

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but only in the sheep shearing season.

I wish you all the very best for the festive season.

[Koondawg]

Granted you wish everyone all the very best for the festive season.


I wish everyone a very Merry Christmas, or what ever you celebrate, expecially my bud from acrossed the pond Jimbuna...



KD

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but next year's Xmas will be hell.

I wish that I could become ice.

[Task Force]

Granted, but your left out in the sun, and melt.

I wish for my vanilla install of SH3 to be finished installing.

[iambecomelife]

Granted, but your left out in the sun, and melt.

I wish for my vanilla install of SH3 to be finished installing.

Granted, but after you finish installing it (and whatever other mods you want to install), you spend all of Christmas Day blasting Allied freighters instead of singing hymns, opening gifts, making yourself sick on candy canes, etc etc. Your family feels left out. In desperation, they chuck your copy of SH3 into the fireplace.

I wish I could go back in time to April of 1912 and work as a stoker on an ocean liner bound for New York. Preferably a stoker assigned to the boiler room during the midnight watch.

http://www.starway.org/Titanic/pictures/Titanic%20BW.gif

[Raptor1]

Granted, and now you sir, are dead

I wish he would RIP

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but there's no afterlife.

I wish that I could meet Francis Crick and James Watson.

[TarJak]

Granted, you meet then, they wish you a merry christmas and then leave.

I wish you all the very best for Xmas and hope that Santa was good to you today.

[NealT]

Granted...for everyone but you and me...and I don't know about you, but I got taken for a ride by my kids needing every $$ I had to spend and now the wife is totally, totally bent out of shape at me...even though she is the one who gave it to them...:hmm:

I wish I had not gotten married after all...

[Schroeder]

Granted, now you are not the husband but the slave of your former wife.

I wish I had longer holidays.

[iambecomelife]

Granted, now you are not the husband but the slave of your former wife.

I wish I had longer holidays.

Granted. Christmas is extended to last for six months. But now that one tree can't last for all of Christmas, the demand for Xmas trees skyrockets...Eventually all kinds of trees are cut down to be used as Christmas trees and the planet is deforested. Angry environmentalists find out that you are the one responsible for this wish, and you spend the rest of your life living like a hunted animal.

I wish that the pizza parlor down the streed would cut its prices again - their pepperoni & sausage pizzas are delicious.

[Raptor1]

Granted, they cut the prices, and now nobody can read how expensive the pizza really is

I wish Synth Oil Plants costed more than 5 RPs

[Rockstar]

Granted ... wait a minute Synth Oil Plants? 5 RPs?

I wish I knew what the heck Raptor1 was talking about so I could crush his dream.

[Schroeder]

Granted ... wait a minute Synth Oil Plants? 5 RPs?

I wish I knew what the heck Raptor1 was talking about so I could crush his dream. Granted, but since it didn't make sense in the first place you go insane to understand it.

I wish I would be better at ArmA.:damn:

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but everyone is better at ArmB.

i wish I knew the meaning of life.

[Task Force]

Granted, But it is long and boring, and you fall asleep in the middle of the slide show.

I wish jimbuna wouldn't fall asleep during the slide show. (and I could figure out how to get one of my old games to run right on vista.):D (if anyone knows how to do this, please PM me.)

[Rockstar]

Granted, But just as you realize the meaning your head explodes into 42 pieces, the quest continues.

I wish I had some warm apple pie with french vanilla ice cream

[Task Force]

Granted, and its fill of laxatives.

I wish my head was no longer in 42 pieces.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, your head is now in one-half piece

I wish for one night of peace with no dogs, cats or snakes waking us in the middle of the night

[Task Force]

Granted, instead, a car in front of your house has its horn stuck... all night long....

I wish for a telescope.

[Raptor1]

Granted, you now get the Hubble space telescope, it will land on your house in 3...2..1...

I wish Task Force has insurance

[Hylander_1314]

Granted, but the insurance doesn't cover falling objects from space...........

I wish I had a bigger boat

[Rockstar]

Granted, but you can only operate it on the river Lethe.


I wish I had another cup of coffee

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you have another cup of coffee, but it's the stuff that Jack Nicholson liked to drink in "The Bucket List" (coffee beans eaten by tree cats, pooped and poop dried into coffee grounds)

I wish I could recite pi to 87 decimal places

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but I can recite it to 88.

I wish someone would pay my credit card bill for me next month.

[Schroeder]

Granted, but now you have to pay his credit card bills for the rest of his life.

I wish I wouldn't be that tired all day.:-?

[kranz]

Granted, you are tired all night.

I wish I would meet Stewie Griffin some day.

[iambecomelife]

Granted, but you are trapped in an episode of "Family Guy" forever, with no way to return to the real world. You go mad one day and scalp the entire cast.

I wish that I had been allowed to go on the trip to Tijuana back when I was in Middle School.

[A Very Super Market]

Granted.

You went to Tijuana


I wish that Santa gave me a better gift

[Task Force]

Granted, he takes away your gift, he told me that you are ungrateful.

I wish macs would get the blue screen of death, and stuff like that, just like PCs.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, macs get the blue screen of death, and stuff like that, just like PCs, but now PCs get the invisible screen of death immediately followed by emissions of extremely large quantities of methane

I wish Task Force had a gas mask

[Task Force]

granted, but I do and you dont, and you get one.

I wish macs and PCs were equal.

[A Very Super Market]

Granted, Steve Jobs and Bill Gates now own your family, your cat, and Belgium


I wish that house cats went extinct

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but the rodent population spikes upwards and plague is spread on every continent except for Antarctica.

I wish that people had common sense.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, people have common sense, as a result they stop listening to anything you say and go about their merry way

I wish people would pay attention

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but with the $ rising they can't afford to pay it too often.

I wish I wore my heart on my sleeve.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but it gets infected by all the nasty stuff much easier

I wish Jimbuna would put his heart where it belongs, ASAP

[jeremy8529]

Granted, but now you are susceptible to infections. :dead:

I wish that everyone could pay to go to college.:know:

[Rockstar]

granted, but not everyone wants too, is intelligent or responsible enough to attend. So they piss away the college money on crack rock become addicted to it and remain unproductive zombies their entire life.

I wish I had a 10 horse power outboard motor for my li'l dingy.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you have a 10 horse power outboard motor for your li'l dingy, but your dingy is dinky and the 10 horse power motor pushes it so fast that you fall out and your dinky dingy goes off into the sunset by itself

I wish I had a V-8 chainsaw

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but you can't afford the petrol/gas to run it.

I wish we were all in 'the know'.

[TarJak]

Granted, we now are in the know but that also puts is in the "you know what"!

I wish confidence was as easy to come by as fear

[A Very Super Market]

Granted, but the conflict between the two causes your head to explode.

I wish I understood the Chewbacca Defense

[Rockstar]

Granted, but a swift upper cut to the jaw from Princess Leia causes you to forget and loose 4 teeth.

I wish I had Skybird's HDTV

[geetrue]

I wish I had Skybird's HDTV

Granted, but I had to hire a friend to get him drunk and invite him into the hot tub while I helped myself to his HDTV.

Where do I send it anyway?

I wish I could get that picture out of my head.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but that, again, involves a highly invasive, potentially deadly and insanely expensive brain surgery

I wish geetrue's operation would succeed

[Task Force]

Granted, now you have a pic of this in your head.
http://sameritech.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/fattest_man_03.jpg

(I know its scary.)

I wish to get that I could get a new pair of eyes, after seeing this pic.:dead:

aaaawww, raptor beat me to it.

[A Very Super Market]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! (For a more thorough explanation of my reaction, click here (http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/AAAAAAAA))

Granted, but your brain still remembers


I wish my text would go back to normal

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, your text goes back to normal, but you don't and are forever resigned to residing in a rubber coated room with no windows

I wish one o'clock would hurry up and get here

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but not quickly enough as it is now quarter past one.

I wish my Sunday lunch was ready on a Saturday.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but it's already cold by the time you eat it on Sunday

I wish firestorms were more firey

[NealT]

Granted they are...on the sun.

I wish Navy Field were not such a difficult grind to get good enough to get a sub.

[Rockstar]

Granted, you are the best and obtain command of a sub also winner of many NavyField awards even making front cover of Gamers magazine. BIG WHOOP! what do you really get out of it? Absolutley nothing thats what so grow up as there's more to life than video games.

I wish I could breath underwater

[TarJak]

Granted, but now you die when trying to breath air on land.

I wish for the collapse of stoopidism

[Raptor1]

Granted, but the collapse results in many successor states forming and fighting for supremacy

I wish to eradicate all traces of stoopidism

[NealT]

Granted..all traces are now erased...you, TJ, and Rockstar never existed, which of course means the posts never existed and this crush is unnecessary therefore the men in white coats come buy and take me away for crushing something unnecessarily.

I wish we were going to have a female vice-president with a good looking set of legs sometime soon...

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, Joe Biden has a sex change operation and plastic surgery on his legs only and starts wearing miniskirts

I wish I could get that picture out of my head, Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, they're coming to take me away!

[TarJak]

Granted, the frontal lobotomy they gave you has completely removed that pricture from your head along with a kilo of grey matter used for thinking about dream crushses.

I wish DT's brain would grow back but better and less inclined to crush dreams.

[NealT]

Granted, DT's brain grows back bigger than ever, and he becomes a brain surgeon, with you as his first patient. Unfortunately, he sneezes right in the middle of the operation and now, well let's just say you won't be standing to use the urinal anytime soon...

I wish my brother had not found that stupid video of the end of the world on YouTube...

[Task Force]

Granted, he finds the video of the end of are galaxy.
I wish I knew what happens in that video.

[geetrue]

I wish my brother had not found that stupid video of the end of the world on YouTube...

Granted, but in order to accomplish the strange nature of this request there is now no longer a YouTube ... the CEO has requested a hit on your brother to save YouTube :yep:

I wish I had an extra inch or two :cool:

[Task Force]

Granted on your waistline.

I wish for my post count to reach 3,000 quicker..

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but you're perma'd for spamming to get to the 3,000.

I wish that the Reichstag didn't fall to the Russians.

[TarJak]

Granted, it fell to the Prussians instead.

I wish Russia and Prussia could get along

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but they eventually engage in a huge conflict over the similarity of their names.

I wish that Kaiser Wilhelm II did not have a withered arm.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, something much nearer his groin is withered instead.

I wish it never happens to you.

[TarJak]

Granted, it happens to you instead

I wish it wasn't so late

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted; it's early for me.

I wish that I could go to the year 4338.

[Rockstar]

Granted, but via immediate time warp to future. When you reach 4338 earth isn't here anymore and you find yourself in the vaccuum of space. Various minor problems start after ten seconds or so. At some point you lose consciousness from lack of oxygen. Injuries accumulate. After perhaps one or two minutes, you're dying. Have fun.

I wish had a monkey

[Raptor1]

Granted, your wish has a monkey, it's name is Charles

I wish his wish made some wishful sense

[Jimbuna]

Granted, wishful nonsense.

I wish I had a new set of sluitels.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, but the wish fairy thought you said "slut tells" and the biatch across the desk tells everyone that you are engaged to her causing you irreparable embarrassment

I wish I hadn't sneezed during TarJak's operation

[Koondawg]

Granted, but the wish fairy thought you said "slut tells" and the biatch across the desk tells everyone that you are engaged to her causing you irreparable embarrassment
you bastage...I was typing out a killer crush for that wish...


I wish I hadn't sneezed during TarJak's operation
Not granted...dayamit and now your left nut is doing a hoola-hoop through the hole you just rip in your...well you know where.

I wish I hadn't had to type all the crap to crush Jimbo's wish before DT jumped in and did It for me...thus getting a mildly mediocre crush of someone elses dream


KD

[Raptor1]

Granted, now you had to write it all down, with a medieval-style stylus

I wish violence hadn't ensued before I got the popcorn ready

[Rockstar]

Granted, Just as you sit down with your hot popcorn 20, no wait, FIFTY midgets dressed in clown outfits burst out of your closet, beat you senseless and steal your popcorn.

I wish I had a monkey named Raptor1 instead Charles

[Koondawg]

Granted you wish you had a monkey named Raptor1 instead Charles but the new monkey named Raptor1 does the same tricks as Charles did...when your bending over drying your feet fresh from the shower Rator1 runs up your poop shoot and starts bobbing for apples from last nights festivities...you have to go to ER to get him out.


I wish monkeys wern't so anal retentive...

KD

[NealT]

They aren't...that is why you have to keep eating those 'little white pills' to keep from defacating all over the house they let you stay in.

I wish that BFB of JB's would turn into a Beautiful PG (NO, it doesn't stand for pregnant either.)

[Koondawg]

I wish that BFB of JB's would turn into a Beautiful PG (NO, it doesn't stand for pregnant either.)
Granted you wish that BFB of JB's would turn into a Beautiful PG (NO, it doesn't stand for pregnant either.) but she is now a PlayGirl....everyone is in line...2 take a turn...



I wish I could go last...I don't want anyone to tap me on the shoulder...

KD

[geetrue]

Granted, but via immediate time warp to future. When you reach 4338 earth isn't here anymore and you find yourself in the vaccuum of space. Various minor problems start after ten seconds or so. At some point you lose consciousness from lack of oxygen. Injuries accumulate. After perhaps one or two minutes, you're dying. Have fun.

I wish had a monkey

Granted, but your kid gives the monkey a candy bar and a Dr Pepper. The monkey winds up shi**ing all over the place making your wife so mad and informing you that she doesn't feel like making love anymore till you get rid of the monkey and buy her a new BMW.

I wish I had a new BMW ... What's your wife's name anyway? :p


Just as a side note ... I wonder what happens if you pee in space without a space suit on?

[Raptor1]

Granted, but you and the BMW are conscripted into the French Army and sent to the river Marne before you manage to find out her name

I wish Rockstar would get Charles back so I could go home

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, Rockstar gets Charles back and you get to go home, but now you have to go home with Charles and meet his wife, Charlotte the Harlotte and she immediately finds you so attractive that she can't keep her hands off of you causing Charles to become immensely POed and he spends the rest of the day flinging poo at you

I wish Raptor1 had the new poo repellant Hazmat suit on when he went home with Charles

[TarJak]

Granted, however the hermetically sealed suit prevented his own gases from escaping making him gag and puke inside his helmet.

I wish that crush was less graphic.

[ubootcomrade]

Granted, he vomits blood instead....over you




I wish to make Charles the monkey my second in command.

[A Very Super Market]

Granted, in fact, he does a better job than your old XO who was made a watch officer. He was Bernard.



I wish that the Bernard jokes would end

[NealT]

Granted they do...afer he gets a sex change operation and winds up as the FB sitting across from JB's desk...

I wish that all boats had a Bernard(ina) as it's morale officer...

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but the consequence is that every boat must now carry a pox doctor so rations are reduced to feed the extra mouth.

I wish to go to the toilet now.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but you soon find out there is no more need for that

I wish Charles would make a better job at guarding Ubootcomradegrad from communist revolutions

[Rockstar]

Granted, communist revolutionaries are dead at the hands of Charles the monkey. But Charles must, in order to watch over Ubootcomradegrad and keep him from other dangers, take him as his mate for life.

I wish next year officially started at 10AM so I get a good night sleep.

[NealT]

Granted, it does in another time zone...but alas, not yours...

I wish my daughter would leave so my wife and I...

[Task Force]

granted,your daughter and you and your wife go and sleep in your separate beds, away from each other like good boys and girls..:rotfl:

I wish for subsim to last 1,000 years.:yep:

[A Very Super Market]

Granted, the site stays up for 1000 years, but everyone leaves.


I wish I didn't make myself depressed with that ruined wish.:cry:

[Task Force]

Granted, you made everyone else depressed, Except me.:p

I wish for the world to turn alittle slower.

[A Very Super Market]

Granted. Now everyone has irreversible jet lag from the added length of day.

I wish that someone makes an uncorruptable wish

[Task Force]

Granted, but it is thuroughly crushed.

I wish for the monkey Charles the monkey to become AVSM`s subs navigation officer (and for a anti monkey shield for my sub.)

[NealT]

Granted, but since your shield works so well, Charles is unable to get off of your ship when the transfer papers come through and you run into a bunch of rocks on your way out of the harbor, with the sub sinking with the loss of all hands, including you. JB gets the FB to introduce a fake will into the court system, and all of your assets now belong to Subsim.

I wish for a crushing wish that will deal a blow so great that it will affect...

[iambecomelife]

Granted, but since your shield works so well, Charles is unable to get off of your ship when the transfer papers come through and you run into a bunch of rocks on your way out of the harbor, with the sub sinking with the loss of all hands, including you. JB gets the FB to introduce a fake will into the court system, and all of your assets now belong to Subsim.

I wish for a crushing wish that will deal a blow so great that it will affect...

Granted, but before long everyone affected by the crushing blow gets used to it, and you are back where you started.

I wish I could have that cute blonde girl back as my orthodontist's assistant, instead of that chubby guy with glasses. IMO she was much more pleasing to the eye...

[Rockstar]

Granted, but when she comes back to work you see her making out with the chubby guy with glasses then call him daddy.


I wish had updated electronic charts for my chartplotter

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but the power supply fails and it's back to the pencil and compass times again.

I wish ther was a tangible outcome.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but the only tangible outcome is bad for you

I wish the French Fleet would battle Charles the Monkey on the high seas

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but upon leaving port and witnessing their opponent....they promptly surrender.

I wish the caption said it all.

[Rockstar]

Granted, but the captions are in a language nobody can understand. It takes years of study and several hours a day of reading to decifer the meaning of the caption.

I wish Raptor1 and Charles the monkey have a great honeymoon.

[Task Force]

Granted, but Charles breaks up with him and decides to go with you.

I wish Rockstar the best of luck.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but all the luck is bad and he returns to get hus revenge on you.

I wish I knew the secret of the black magic box.

[Rockstar]

Granted, I once knew a women who called her ... oops, err I mean. Once you learn of the secret, the black magic box has to kill you and you don't even get a taste of whats inside.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, I once knew a women who called her ... oops, err I mean. Once you learn of the secret, the black magic box has to kill you and you don't even get a taste of whats inside.

And your wish is?

[TarJak]

Whatever it was it was duly granted and crushed as per SOP.

I wish Rockstar had remembered to make a wish so that I could crush it.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, Rockstar wished for a date with JBs FB and you crushed the wish by some nefarious means involving an extremely deadly STD

I wish I wasn't so confused now as to what to wish for and/or crush

[A Very Super Market]

Granted, you aren;t confused now, but you are later.



I wish that the Bird wasn't the word

[TarJak]

Granted, it's not the word but the bird is the gesture you see cirected your way more often than anyone else on the planet.

I wish whales could sing in tune.

[Task Force]

Granted, then there is a massive hunt to kill them all to shut them up, the become extinct. soon the people form "save the whales" riot outside your house finding out that you wished they could sing.

I wish this guy:|\\ would stop smokeing.

[A Very Super Market]

He stops smoking, but starts snorting, injecting, blotting, and enemating. (Is that a word?) Then, he goes to your house and eats you.



I wish I wasn't so paranoid.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but now you aren't prepared when T-H-E-M spring the trap

I wish the Germans would surrender, like...now

[Jimbuna]

Granted, all those thousands surrendered outside your house and you are now solely responsible for feeding them.

I wish I'd been down under to see the faces of them cons when the South Africans toasted them.

[NealT]

No need JB...as punishment, they are sending them up to where you are to take care of the FB that sits in the desk across from you. They are being billetted at your place.

I wish for a day where no wishes were crushed.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you get a day where no wishes are crushed, but since it is night time somewhere right now your wish is thoroughly crushed anyway

I wish the CoD-WaW BSOD restart would get fixed

[NealT]

Your wish is granted. Now, it is the WaW BSOD-CoD restart instead.

I wish for a 24 hour period beginning right now in which all wishes are granted and no wish is crushed.

[Rockstar]

Granted, You may grant all of our wishes and crush none of them for 24 hours. Let us know how it goes.

I wish I had more water beneath the keel

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but it's toilet water.

I wish the penultimate action was the final attempt.

[TarJak]

Granted but the paradox that set in train is too confusing to articulate here.

I wish the yarpies were worse at cricket than they were last year.

[Rockstar]

Granted, but so do the other teams, leaving the Yarpies still relatively better players than everyone else.


I wish I had a clue how the term 'Yarpie' came to identify white guys from South Africa.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you had a clue how the term 'Yarpie' came to identify white guys from South Africa, but you lost it

I wish this guy would bite his tongue:pwhile playing cricket with the Yarpies who Rockstar knows came to be identified as white guys from South Africa because he had a clue how the term 'Yarpie' came to identify white guys from South Africa, but forgot, because he lost it

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but he also bites his fingernails down to the bone with the excitement.

I wish I could have stayed up longer and watched the other 4 wickets go down after Pontings Duck :lol:

http://www.bbcc.ciren.net/Images/Page%20components/Golden-Duck.jpg

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but the show is interrupted in the final bit for an emergency broadcast which states that the match will not be seen for the rest of the night; instead it shall be replaced with a week long Monty Python marathon.

I wish that my lawn was emo.:roll:

[A Very Super Market]

Granted, now you can't cut your lawn without it snapping at you and crying.


I wish all those cricket jokes actually made sense to me.

[Silverleaf]

Granted. You shall have a cricket announcer spend countless hours explaining the virtues of the game to you.

I wish Angelina Jolie was my wife.

[Rockstar]

Granted, But I hope you don't mind sharing, because you just joined 2,746,527 other men in the world who had the same wish come true.

I wish Neal would send me a free 2009 SUBSIM calendar

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but as soon as your postman realises what he is about to deliver and further realises how scarce and valuable they are he pilfers it for himself.

I wish my time would come sooner rather than later.

[Raptor1]

Granted, the time of your execution that is

I wish for a battalion of dragoons

[TarJak]

Granted, you shall have your battalion of Dragoons, however as they are an outmoded form of cavalry they are quickly mown down by my platoon of mechanised infantry.

I wish my megalomania was less pronounced

[NealT]

Granted, but you are so heavily afflicted no one notices...except for you, and it infuriates you so much that you cannot stop eating for a year and balloon up to over 750 kilos, whereupon you cannot even get off the bed to go to the head.

I wish it were not my wife's birthday...

[Jimbuna]

Granted, it is actually the birds next noor....just make sure your wife doesn't see you slipping round to give her your present.

I wish my sun would shine.

[Raptor1]

Granted, and it suddenly becomes unbearably hot, for you, while all of us are not effected

I wish Jimbuna would turn off his sun, or risk severe sunburn

[TarJak]

Granted, Jimbuna's sun not shining causes you to perish in the freezing cold than ensues.

I wish toll roads were abolished

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, toll roads are abolished, torn up and replaced with gravel roads with a 16" crown and 18" ruts

I wish the trolls were taller and weren't so ugly

[NealT]

Granted the trolls are now 100 meters tall, as gorgeous as the sexiest woman alive, and have size 120 shoes...which flatten you flatter than a pancake when they step on you.

I wish I were making more money...

[A Very Super Market]

Granted, you are now a banker making 100 grand a week. Unfortunately, most of that money is stolen from your customers, including the mafia, the pentagon, Osama bin Laden, Bill Gates, and almost everybody in Luxembourg. I think you can fill in the blanks here. Everyone takes turns beating the crap out of you, except for Bill Gates, who decides to make a re-enacment of 2G1C with you as the cup and Steve Jobs as the other one.



I wish I didn't throw up from typing that. :doh:

[TarJak]

Granted, but you got so aroused that something else happened and now you are mortally ashamed

I wish Phil Anthropy would pay me a visit.

[NealT]

Granted he does, with his brother Rob R. Wry and you are left penniless and homeless.

I wish I had gone off and retired...

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but your pension is absolutely worthless as a result of the credit crunch and you are reduced to begging on the streets in order to survive.

I wish familiarity hadn't of been responsible for breeding contempt.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, familiarity isn't responsible for breeding contempt, you are, and since breeding with contempts is illegal in the UK you are arrested by the FB across the desk for indecent breeding in public and sentenced to "30 Days in the Hole" (yes, definite Humble Pie reference)

I wish this guy :hmm: would quit scratching his chin, all the skin on his face should be gone by now

[UnderseaLcpl]

Granted, familiarity isn't responsible for breeding contempt, you are, and since breeding with contempts is illegal in the UK you are arrested by the FB across the desk for indecent breeding in public and sentenced to "30 Days in the Hole" (yes, definite Humble Pie reference)

I wish this guy :hmm: would quit scratching his chin, all the skin on his face should be gone by now

Granted, he takes up smoking instead and dies of lung cancer at age 40:|\\


I wish for someone to make a good wish for me.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but he also ends up crushing it so thoroughly that you will never recover

I wish the human population was in utter panic

[TarJak]

Granted, the human population of Uranus is now in utter panic.

I wish there were more people in Uranus.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, there are more people in Uranus. The Village People are in Uranus, to be specific, and they're singing YMCA, which sounds very strange coming from Uranus.

I wish I could stop laughing about Uranus:rotfl:

[Task Force]

Granted you stop laughing about Uranus, and Uranus starts laughing at you.:lol:

I wish Uranus was a big gas planet.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but it's laughing gas.

I wish I could see Uranus in orbit.

[Task Force]

Granted, but you are left in outer space. without a space suit, half of you is on fire ,and the other is freezing. ******Remember, when you scream in space..... no ones there to hear you as you implode.******

I wish jimbuna the best of luck with that.

[A Very Super Market]

Granted, he is given a spacesuit made entirely out of Leprechauns and Rabbit's legs, connected to a spaceship made out of horseshoes. But luck is no match for logic, and both the spacesuit and spaceship break apart, leaving him in the same situation. Then the Vulcans come to beat him up.



I wish for an ethnically white christmas

[TarJak]

Granted, so now you have a bunch of ethnics all wanting Christmas dinner and all you have to serve them is snow

I wish RAS would have a batting collapse.

[Rockstar]

Granted, but during RAS rescue RHIB recovers SN Batting just before being drawn into DD's propwash, UNREP ops to continue. :huh:

I wish it would stop raining today..

[Raptor1]

Granted, it starts hailing instead

I wish to destroy the French army at Austerlitz

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you destroy the French army at Austerlitz, but the French Air Force completely destroys you by crashing their planes on your head while trying to land

I wish the neighbors cat would go home and quit jumping on my keyboard jkhb;ou;ougf'JB

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but it is now the turn of your neighbours pet elephant.

I wish patience was a virtue.

[TarJak]

Granted, however it is found seldom in a woman and never in a man.

I wish I had the ability to match my dreams

[Jimbuna]

Granted, you now prance about the house in a pretty pink tutu whilst committing a lurid act upon yourself with a cucumber much to the disgust and horror of your wife and children who are trying to concentrate on watching their favourit tv programme.

I wish the bitch sitting opposite me at work was 10 year lighter and three stone younger.

[NealT]

Granted and now they decide to let you go and replace you with her, but there is no more money for unemployment and you lose your internet connection never to be seen or heard from in the virtual world again.

I wish the Abercrombie's were not such a wandering bunch of banana-peel Underseabotten miscrients such that the freakish elves were more inclined to pay attention to the salt of the wounds.

[TarJak]

Granted, your confuzzled wish results in the freakish Abercrombie elves rubbing significantly more salt into your wounds than is good for them by dragging you behind them during their banana peel, miscreant wandering along the bottom of the sea.

I wish confusion could be more clearly articulated

[NealT]

Your wish is most graciously and gracefully granted while someone yanks the ladder out from underneath the omnipresent presence of he who would call himself TJ and thereby causes a tumbling the likes of which only the greatest of crushers can comprehend through osmosis.

I wish the incoming President the best of luck in his efforts to gets things straight.

[Jimbuna]

Granted,the incoming President of the plumbers federation will need all the luck they can get in getting things straight....especially when you consider most of their members are usually working around the bend.

[Rockstar]

Granted, but nothing specific was mentioned so only a generic dream crushing is in order.

I wish for world peace, harmony and cuddly bunny rabbits.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but the cuddly bunny rabbits drive everyone nuts, and now war turns into peace and peace turns into war

I wish to shoot a 12-pound cannon loaded with canister shot at...YOU!

[TarJak]

Granted, you do shoot your 12 lb cannon loaded with cannister shot at Rockstar and are later arrested for his murder

I wish Raptor1 would get out of jail in time to finish off the Japanese.

[NealT]

He does...he finishes the Japanese Sushi but is still hungry, mistakes Sydney for Kidney, finds out it is not Kidney Pie as he thought, and unleashes a bomb so big the entire island of Australia turns into the long lost continent of Atlantis.

I wish for nothing.

[Raptor1]

Granted, and that nothing has been thoroughly crushed

I wish the means justified the end

[A Very Super Market]

Granted, and therefore, you go on a killing spree and destroy everything you own and burned all your money to assasinate Ronald Reagan. Then you realize that he is already dead.


I wish upon a star.

[TarJak]

Granted, however the star you wished upon has now turned into a black hole

I wish there was a black hole close enough for us to see clearly without getting sucked into it

[Koondawg]

Granted you wish there was a black hole close enough for you to see clearly without getting sucked into it...although the rise in prositution in your area lowers the value of the homes nearby...

I wish nightmares were actually horses who came out at night...

KD

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but as you well know, the apocalyptic horsemen always exact a price and want your soul as compensation.

I wish my sense wasn't so common.

[Raptor1]

Granted, you now have no sense whatsoever

I wish to prematurely celebrate victory

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but tomorrow you lose.

I wish I knew what was stored in pandoras box.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you now know what was stored in Pandoras box, but because you had to go looking in there to see what was inside, you have now contracted a deadly STD

I wish JB had worn a body condom

[Jimbuna]

I did :lol:

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/31A5W49MFAL._SL500_AA280_.jpg

[Biggles]

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Granted, but he just showed you that pic...happy now!?

I wish I had the same ability to find funny pictures as everybody else seems to have...

[Jimbuna]

Granted, here is your best effort :lol:

http://img140.imageshack.us/img140/9932/bigglesxr2.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

I wish the righteous were always undecided.

[Rockstar]

Granted, no wait, not granted.


I wish I could know what it's like to walk a mile in your shoes.

[NealT]

Granted, and now your feet have to be amputated from trench foot.

I wish for a 24 hour period without violence in any part of the world.

[Task Force]

Granted, there is no violence in any part of the world. but right out of earths atmosphere there is a large space war going on.

I wish for the a loop hole to this entire dream crushing thing.

[Rockstar]

Granted, but explosions nearby keep you from hearing what part it is.

I wish I had a Cubano Cohiba Esplendido.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but you aint got nothing to light it with.

I wish the time was nigh.

[NealT]

NEVER!

I wish for dinner...

[TarJak]

Granted, your dinner consists of a pea and a slice of bark

I wish for infinite capability

[Rockstar]

Granted, main course is a pack of saltime crackers with tofu spread and one bowl of old alfalfa sprouts infected by the Salmonella and Escherichia coli bacteria. Nothing to drink. Yummy.

I wish I was on another planet.

--------------------------------------------------------- Oh poo Tar Jak beat me to it.

Granted, you have the infinite capability to drink yourself under the table after only one beer.

I still wish I was on another planet

[TarJak]

Granted, main course is a pack of saltime crackers with tofu spread and one bowl of old alfalfa sprouts infected by the Salmonella and Escherichia coli bacteria. Nothing to drink. Yummy.

I wish I was on another planet.Granted, you clearly are due to the time it took for you to realise you had crused a dream out of order. Have fun on Uranus.

I wish drinking wasn't as bad for you as it is

[Raptor1]

Granted, it is now even worse

I wish IT wasn't connected to THAT

[Jimbuna]

Granted, THAT is now connected to IT.

I wish my boomerang would come back.

[TarJak]

Granted, but as you may have guessed from the lump on the back of your head, you weren't quite ready for it.

I wish Jim's head would heal

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, Jim's head heals, but the wish granting fairy god-mother thought you said heel and now Jim's head follows you everywhere you go

I wish I could stop laughing at the Uranus jokes

[Rockstar]

Granted, ... scientists renamed Uranus to rid the earth of that stupid joke once and for all. Now it's called Urectum!

I wish I had a magic conch

[NealT]

Magically, your internet disappears, along with all of your posts, websites, files, games, and bank transfers.

I wish my wife was home ;)

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but she is annoyed you forgot to pick her up and bring her yourself.

I wish NealT was not in the 'dog house' now.

[TarJak]

Granted, he's at your house and wants a word with you for crushing that last dream

I wish NealT and Jim could sort out their differences peacfully

[NealT]

Granted, JB can now Rest in Peace and my head turns so I am looking in your direction.

I wish my wife would wake up this morning so I could be late for work...

[rifleman13]

Granted, now you're out of a job!

I wish for more hot sauce...

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but it burns your mouth.

I wish scotch eggs were Irish.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, Scotch eggs are now Irish, but that means that they are also now green and you don't like green eggs and ham, Jim I am

I wish Dr Suess would get out of my head

[TarJak]

Granted, would you like him in your bed? Would you like him turning red?

I wish for a Dr. Seuss rhyming crush to this dream of oranges.

[NealT]

I cannot think of any so your wish is CRUSHED...

I wish there were not so much snow on the ground...

[Rockstar]

Granted, Most of it is now in your kitchen and living room

I wish NealT would stop complaining about the snow.

[TarJak]

Granted, he now complains about you... to the Dept of Homeland Defence.

I wish defence had a gate

[Rockstar]

Granted, defense has a gate, Mr. Bob gates.

I wish I got my ends

[Jimbuna]

Granted, you are now ended.

I wishI knew what was at the beginning.

[Rockstar]

Granted, at the begining there were dreams of being the hero, attaining wonderful goals and seeing faraway places. All of which was never achieved.


I wish my yacht was bigger

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but it's just a tad bigger than a loaf of bread.

I wish my girlfriend didn't smell so terrible.

[Task Force]

Granted, but just a little bit. (thought you where married jimbuna.)

I wish my school had window in the downstairs classes.:sunny:

[Raptor1]

Granted, your school now has a window in the lower bunker levels, which totally defeats the point. When the communist revolution starts you and surrounding people take to the shelters only to find yourselves completely exposed and defenseless as the tanks roll into the street...

I wish Task Force's school would get a new tank-proof shelter

[NealT]

They do....it is a submarine with screen doors instead of hatches and it lies at the bottom of the Bearing Straits...with you as it's headmaster, forced to live there all year round.

I wish people would stop crushing my dreams for slightly warmer weather without snow on the ground...

[A Very Super Market]

Granted, but it gets warm enough for the fat guy down the road to walk by in a speedo


I wish I could stop spamming random threads and actually contribute.

[TarJak]

Granted, you actually contribute more spam more randomly

I wish carcharodon megalodon was still alive and swimming in our oceans

[NealT]

It is...they call it Silent Hunter 3, version GWX 3.0.

I wish it were inaugration day already...

[Jimbuna]

Granted, today is the big day but you oversleep and miss it.

I wish my memory would serve me better.

[Rockstar]

Granted, your memory serves you better but only in recalling bad date nights, hangovers, lost bets, missed opportunities for riches, fame and beautiful women.

I wish I could stop time.

[TarJak]

Granted, time is stopped however you continue along at the velocity you were travelling when it stopped, killing you instantly

I wish the killing would stop

[Jimbuna]

Granted, it stops....but it will never actually end.

I wish my bakers dozen was in fact the imaginery thirteen.

[NealT]

Granted...it is all in your head...and you get to spend eternity in the 'rubber room' because the courts have found you insane.

I wish the heating guy would get his work done and leave so I can spend some quality time with my wife...;)

[TarJak]

Granted he's finished and your quality time last for the usual 30 seconds

I wish time had better quality

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, time has better quality, but absolutely no quantity (for you, anway), buh-bye:D

I wish that the resident drama queen at my house would learn to be quiet when I'm sneaking up on a convoy

[TarJak]

Granted, you are now completely silent when creeping up on a convoy.

I wish I had more time

[Task Force]

granted, more time, you get 1 extra second.

I wish for better luck in IL2 on Monday.:lol:

[NealT]

Granted...you get .000001% better luck Monday three weeks after Easter in the year 2020 than today.


I wish quality time were not a thing of the past...

[Jimbuna]

Granted, it is now of the present.

I wish my kingdom for a horse.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, a horse now has your kingdom

I wish the word plethora was easier to rhyme with

[Raptor1]

Granted, but you don't find a use for the rhyme

I wish ICBMs were not WOMDs

[Jimbuna]

Granted, they are now WOMBs

I wish I knew why the left is never on the right.

[Rockstar]

Granted, you now know why, but what does it matter since the rest of still don't know why.

I wish jimbuna would tell ua why the left is never on the right.

[Raptor1]

Granted, Jimbuna tells the UA why

I wish I knew who these UA people are

[Jimbuna]

Granted, 'you all' now know what UA means.....but not why.

I wish the whys were the wherefores.

[NealT]

Granted, the whys are now the wherefores, the wherefore now the whos, the whos the hows, the hows the whens and the whens the whats and the whats the whys, which means that it is now all messed up...just like the world.

I wish academics were not so scholarly.

[TarJak]

Granted, they stop going to school and get real jobs leaving you out of one

I wish gardens were self maintaining

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, gardens are self maintaining, causing gazillions of people who used to enjoy gardening as a hobby to attack TarJakistan with hoes, spades and hoses, causing a terrible mudslide which slides all the TarJakistanis into ubootcomradeland where WW3 erupts because of the mud shortage in TarJakistan

I wish mud wasn't such a valuable commodity