The Bilge

[Wolferz]

Yes, yes you do. Are we taking the boats rooster as our lucky mascot?

Not a good idea. Armistead's first attempt at putting a feather in his cap...

http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb295/Wolferz_2007/birdie.jpg
Was a bit traumatic and only resulted in a little bird poop on the coif.

Bird brain?

[Armistead]

C'mon, I sing the Southern National Anthem yearly at our local watermelon spitting contest..." Oh, I wish I was in Dixie...." and I often sing the closing hymn at the Hardrock Independent Fundamental Baptist Church......" I've got friends in low places, where the whiskey flows....."

I'm really the only one that has experience in front of large crowds....

[Wolferz]

C'mon, I sing the Southern National Anthem yearly at our local watermelon spitting contest..." Oh, I wish I was in Dixie...." and I often sing the closing hymn at the Hardrock Independent Fundamental Baptist Church......" I've got friends in low places, where the whiskey flows....."

I'm really the only one that has experience in front of large crowds....

So, you want to do this one without backup, is that it?:-?
Have at it, sir.:up: We have yet to beat you in a curtain munching and scenery chewing contest. AKA a play.:O:

[Aktungbby]

." and I often sing the closing hymn at the Hardrock Independent Fundamental Baptist Church......" I've got friends in low places, where the whiskey flows....."

I'm really the only one that has experience in front of large crowds....HEY I do see IT NOW! A Bilge Quartet: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SzXJ3vuCzCc (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SzXJ3vuCzCc) :har: http://www.cleveland.com/music/index.ssf/2010/04/musical_cutups_hot_air_buffoon.html (http://www.cleveland.com/music/index.ssf/2010/04/musical_cutups_hot_air_buffoon.html)

[Armistead]

See they had to go down to the Ebenezer African Church across town to find some singing talent for the white church.....

[Armistead]

Brings back memories as a white kid living in rural SC. Most the adults were very racist, but they loved music. There was a black church that was known for the best choir. Every Sunday you would find several whites sitting outside the windows on benches listening. My grandfather was as racist as one could get, but he loved to go listen....always bragging...."that n...er choir sho can sing"....

[Wolferz]

That sounded suspiciously like The Oak Ridge Boys being lip synched.:haha::up:

Let's give Armistead a dead Microphone and cue up the record player.:ping:

It worked for Paul McCartney's spouse, Linda.:shifty:

[Aktungbby]

Milli Vanilli das Bilge?? :woot:

[swamprat69er]

Armistead is on the far left?

[Armistead]

That sounded suspiciously like The Oak Ridge Boys being lip synched.:haha::up:

Let's give Armistead a dead Microphone and cue up the record player.:ping:

It worked for Paul McCartney's spouse, Linda.:shifty:

Hey, I grew up in fundy churches in the south....that had to be J.D. Sumner

[Wolferz]

Hey, I grew up in fundy churches in the south....that had to be J.D. Sumner

He was really big in his day. (6' 5") :O:

General Baptist in my neck o' the woods. No dancin' or card playin' allowed.

[Armistead]

Back in my younger day, try'n to get the attention of a gal I loved, the police set up video cams around her house. They claimed I was a stalker.....I was just in love. Anyways, they got a video of me singing and here it is. I think this will prove my ability beyond doubt.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jDBiMd3HNI

[swamprat69er]

With that catterwallerin' I'da thrown a shoe at you. Worse than a tom cat hollerin'.

[Wolferz]

http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb295/Wolferz_2007/_h608_w1080_m6_ofalse_lfalse-1.jpg

[Aktungbby]

We're Right behind you fearless leader! http://thumb9.shutterstock.com/display_pic_with_logo/1141193/171277496/stock-photo-holy-rats-running-around-karni-mata-temple-deshnok-rajasthan-india-171277496.jpg

[swamprat69er]

http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb295/Wolferz_2007/_h608_w1080_m6_ofalse_lfalse-1.jpg
Where is all the SS?

[Wolferz]

We're Right behind you fearless leader! http://thumb9.shutterstock.com/display_pic_with_logo/1141193/171277496/stock-photo-holy-rats-running-around-karni-mata-temple-deshnok-rajasthan-india-171277496.jpg

HEY!
Don't let them Roaches chase you out of the bordello!

[Armistead]

between the bilge and my wife, i'm lucky to have any esteem left......

[Wolferz]

between the bilge and my wife, i'm lucky to have any esteem left......

The self esteem of Armistead is legendary.
Who are you trying to fool besides yourself?:hmmm:

When Bear uses your leg in place of a tree, then you'll know the esteem tank is empty.:huh:

[Armistead]

The self esteem of Armistead is legendary.
Who are you trying to fool besides yourself?:hmmm:

When Bear uses your leg in place of a tree, then you'll know the esteem tank is empty.:huh:

Old Bear will never turn on me....in fact, if we foster another dog for a bit, bear makes love to leg non stop to show his ownership...

[Aktungbby]

Doggonit! try to keep it below the Knee! :O:http://lowres.cartoonstock.com/animals-dog-dogs_vs_cats-dog_owners-dog_lovers-welcome-jlvn326_low.jpghttp://lowres.cartoonstock.com/animals-dog-pet-pet_dog-humping-humping_leg-cza0489_low.jpg:har:

[Wolferz]

:haha:LOL:haha:

I needed a good laugh.:up:

[Tango589]

Great job on the birthday celebration people, $350 in the kitty and 'Putting' Bob has agreed to refer us for other engagements! The only downside to the whole affair was when Aktung started the food fight with his slice of birthday cake. Thing got a bit untidy but I did smooth it over with Bob by claiming Aktung was 'special'. I think we got away with it.

[Eichhörnchen]

http://i.imgur.com/SMfOe79.jpg?1

" 'scuse me, Son... I think I'm lost. I don't know how I got down here, see? Only there's this bloke after me... his name's Dave Skittle and I think he's on this boat. He thinks I nicked his girlfriend in 1943. He's flippin' mad I tell you: I wasn't even born in 1943. I'm sure he'll come down here lookin' for me. Can you hide me, Son? He's proper nasty"

[Wolferz]

http://i.imgur.com/SMfOe79.jpg?1

" 'scuse me, Son... I think I'm lost. I don't know how I got down here, see? Only there's this bloke after me... his name's Dave Skittle and I think he's on this boat. He thinks I nicked his girlfriend in 1943. He's flippin' mad I tell you: I wasn't even born in 1943. I'm sure he'll come down here lookin' for me. Can you hide me, Son? He's proper nasty"


Where on Earth did you find Dumbledore?

[Eichhörnchen]

http://i.imgur.com/wEh99Tb.jpg?1

"OK, Son, you're a proper wit an' no mistake, but my name's Norbert Penfold: just call me Nobby. I'll tuck myself away in this old metal trunk if you don't mind; I won't be any bother, Son... promise.... you won't 'ear a peep from me..."

[Tango589]

http://i.imgur.com/SMfOe79.jpg?1

" 'scuse me, Son... I think I'm lost. I don't know how I got down here, see? Only there's this bloke after me... his name's Dave Skittle and I think he's on this boat. He thinks I nicked his girlfriend in 1943. He's flippin' mad I tell you: I wasn't even born in 1943. I'm sure he'll come down here lookin' for me. Can you hide me, Son? He's proper nasty"

What does this Dave Skittle bloke look like? If he's a tall fella with a stoop then I've not seen him.

[Wolferz]

http://i.imgur.com/wEh99Tb.jpg?1

"OK, Son, you're a proper wit an' no mistake, but my name's Norbert Penfold: just call me Nobby. I'll tuck myself away in this old metal trunk if you don't mind; I won't be any bother, Son... promise.... you won't 'ear a peep from me..."

Dear Professor Dumbledor....err..Mister Penfold,
I regret to inform you that membership in The Bilge requires an application to and approval by the officers of The Bilge. Hiding out in a trunk is not included in this procedure.
Besides, Socko already tried that route and we tossed his darned stinking cotton self onto a passing U-boat in Singapore, much to the dismay of her crew.:arrgh!:

[Eichhörnchen]

http://i.imgur.com/wEh99Tb.jpg?1

"Oh, bugger... I didn't want to become a member, just need somewhere to hide. You, Young'un... you like a nice sort: mebbe you could carry me back up and stow me somewhere quiet like, what about it? And if you wanna know what Dave Skittle looks like, here's a photo. It's an old one though: he'll be as old as me by now but you'll know 'im if you see 'im..."

http://i.imgur.com/0DDLCPU.jpg?1

"Watch out, there's a good lad: 'e's only small, but 'e can cut up rough pretty quickly..."

[Wolferz]

http://i.imgur.com/wEh99Tb.jpg?1

"Oh, bugger... I didn't want to become a member, just need somewhere to hide. You, Young'un... you like a nice sort: mebbe you could carry me back up and stow me somewhere quiet like, what about it? And if you wanna know what Dave Skittle looks like, here's a photo. It's an old one though: he'll be as old as me by now but you'll know 'im if you see 'im..."

http://i.imgur.com/0DDLCPU.jpg?1

"Watch out, there's a good lad: 'e's only small, but 'e can cut up rough pretty quickly..."

Ok, you're going to hear a splash in a minute or two.:shifty:
Don't let the sudden excess moisture concern you.

[Eichhörnchen]

http://i.imgur.com/QK3sgqO.jpg?1

"I'll take that as a "No" then. I'll mebbe see you around..." (Exits R)

[Aktungbby]

Where on Earth did you find Dumbledore?
Actually my mom told me always to beware tattooed ladies and painted ladies in general and @ Tango: she always said I was 'special':smug:...well ok, "lightly 'teched":doh:...she never mentioned tattooed men!http://i.imgur.com/SMfOe79.jpg?1
has any one informed Armistead!!!???:O:He'll break out the canola fer sure!:haha:

[Armistead]

Aktung, I notice you still haven't turned your award over to the bilge as ordered. To continue membership, please have Jim remove it and place it in the first post of the thread...

If you do not do so soon, you'll will be placed on trial and punished accordingly..

[Wolferz]

Actually my mom told me always to beware tattooed ladies and painted ladies in general and @ Tango: she always said I was 'special':smug:...well ok, "lightly 'teched":doh:...she never mentioned tattooed men!http://i.imgur.com/SMfOe79.jpg?1
has any one informed Armistead!!!???:O:He'll break out the canola fer sure!:haha:

He certainly won't use Crisco...it's shortening.

[Aktungbby]

Aktung, I notice you still haven't turned your award over to the bilge as ordered. To continue membership, please have Jim remove it and place it in the first post of the thread...

If you do not do so soon, you'll will be placed on trial and punished accordingly..

ALLRIGHT! U win. Upon humble reflection of my erring, treacherous ways, She's all yours...however after my two short weeks of ravishing attentions, she's in a touchy mood.http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/villains/images/3/3e/Ancient_Echidna.jpg/revision/latest/scale-to-width/250?cb=20121016022051 I trust the Nag has your life insurance policy paid up :O:

[Wolferz]

You took her hat again, didn't ya?

[Eichhörnchen]

http://i.imgur.com/Wl7aeCh.jpg?1

"' 'e's been down 'ere, 'asn't he? I can smell 'im! If I find 'e's been 'idin' down 'ere I'm gonna cut someone, swelp me..."

[nikimcbee]

Old Bear will never turn on me....in fact, if we foster another dog for a bit, bear makes love to leg non stop to show his ownership...

A lil sumptin sumptin for bear.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ZpHHzWlUGA

I still laugh my a$$ off.
Note, that is not home footage of a McBee engaging in debauchery.

Although the rumo(u)rs of Boudreaux being a serial pug rapist at the dog park are true.

[Armistead]

that dog's a whore

[Kaptlt.Endrass]

Oh how I've missed being away from this accursed, run-down thread and her mangy, scurvy crew. Three weeks is too long.

Yeah, finished finals, so I now resume my job as conductor on this train to hell. All aboard?

[Wolferz]

that dog's a whore

He's just going Japanese.:huh::haha:

[Armistead]

Oh how I've missed being away from this accursed, run-down thread and her mangy, scurvy crew. Three weeks is too long.

Yeah, finished finals, so I now resume my job as conductor on this train to hell. All aboard?


you seek Wolferz's position....? I've tried for years, he ain't gonna give it to you over me..

[Kaptlt.Endrass]

you seek Wolferz's position....? I've tried for years, he ain't gonna give it to you over me..

That upstart squandered my position in my absence?! One moment...I'm calling the boss.
------
------
------

Wolferz, you have been judged guilty of ursurping my position and hereby sentenced t eternity in the back room of a Catholic Church, with the full implications that *ahem* position entails.

[Wolferz]

Go stir some paint with those foot long flat sticks.:arrgh!:

[Aktungbby]

^Not to be confused with the badly soiled '"sticks of truth" laying around in the bilge with a switch or two-self-cut willow- for those administrative thrashings in the aft compartment. :shucks:

[Kaptlt.Endrass]

I will never surrender my post. It is listed on my orders: I will quit my post only when properly relieved. I've yet to be relieved, therefore this train is mine. Wolferz, you could instead make sure that the bar is stocked. I've needed a bartender. The others keep falling off for some reason.

And the booze disappears too. Never any for the passengers.

[Tango589]

I now resume my job as conductor on this train to hell. All aboard?

this train is mine...Never any for the passengers...

Does Endrass realize we aren't actually on a train? Or is he just going loco?

[Aktungbby]

And the booze disappears too. Never any for the passengers. Does Endrass realize we aren't actually on a train? Or is he just going loco?

Perhaps his 'train of thought' has been derailed! I know where this bottle keeps disappearing to methinks...but as the Bilges foreign minister, I can state unequivocally: it's a bribe!:woot: Although I do permit myself a wee nip on OCT 21st...for medicinal purposes only.:hmph: https://img.thewhiskyexchange.com/900/rum_pus8.jpg

[Kaptlt.Endrass]

Oh, I went off the rails YEARS ago. But I digress; I speak of the metaphorical Helll's Express. If my memory serves, a senior officer noted we were on a Tambor-class, correct?

[swamprat69er]

Oh, I went off the rails YEARS ago. But I digress; I speak of the metaphorical Helll's Express. If my memory serves, a senior officer noted we were on a Tambor-class, correct?
Correct.

[Aktungbby]

1932: Duke Ellington releases the Bilges' theme song; It Don' Mean a Thing(If it Ain't Got That Swing) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDQpZT3GhDg (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDQpZT3GhDg)

ATTN forward topedo room: preheat those eels BBY!
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/e1/95/a3/e195a37834e5f9da0bff19f5869b5b09.jpg

[Wolferz]

So, Aktung plays the French Horn.:up:
But, still takes everything else Greek.:huh:

[Aktungbby]

But, still takes everything else Greek.:huh:
With a little of Armistead's canola, it might be my only option...aside from my Oikos blueberry Greek yogurt!:yep: Today is Groundhog Day and my scornful wife refers to me as Putzatawney Phil...my Equinox having lost it's spring apparently.:hmph: "Familiarity breeds contempt!"
:k_confused:

[Wolferz]

With a little of Armistead's canola, it might be my only option...aside from my Oikos blueberry Greek yogurt!:yep: Today is Groundhog Day and my scornful wife refers to me as Putzatawney Phil...my Equinox having lost it's spring apparently.:hmph: "Familiarity breeds contempt!"
:k_confused:

Peanut oil might be a better choice.

According to Achidna.:03::O:

[Armistead]

Oh, I went off the rails YEARS ago. But I digress; I speak of the metaphorical Helll's Express. If my memory serves, a senior officer noted we were on a Tambor-class, correct?

No, not a Tambor class, we lost that one due to ....our inaction and were given the Plunger out of a museum. Her hull was laid in 1900 and I think she went out of service in 1903. Right now we're assigned to the Mississippi River guiding boats around sandbars, but Wolferz got us stuck on a sandbar 4 months ago. That was when he took his spiritual walkabout to the head.

[Tango589]

No, not a Tambor class...we were given the Plunger out of a museum.
Good grief, could we have got smaller tub? Looking at the size of it, we could just get out, stand on the sand bar and shunt the boat loose.:doh:

[swamprat69er]

Yup, we could have.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/22/Css_hunley_on_pier.jpg

[Armistead]

Good grief, could we have got smaller tub? Looking at the size of it, we could just get out, stand on the sand bar and shunt the boat loose.:doh:


I know, I keep sliding request under the head door to get Wolferz's approval, but he never signs the paper and slides it back to me. I've done it several hundred times...have no clue what he's doing in there with all the request. If I ask him vocally, he always tell me to "go away and don't come back."

[Aktungbby]

Yup, we could have.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/22/Css_hunley_on_pier.jpg

Well if were all crankin' in unison in that converted boiler which killed its first two crews in training...including Mr Hunley, with our scaly tails interlocked...we won't be cold :/\\!! worth a read: PS & new detail I was not aware of: the torpedo was supposedly electrically detonated with copper spool and battery! http://www.militaryfactory.com/ships/detail-page-2.asp?ship_id=CSS-HL-Hunley-1863 (http://www.militaryfactory.com/ships/detail-page-2.asp?ship_id=CSS-HL-Hunley-1863) http://www.vernianera.com/Hunley/images/crew.gifThe hatches were so small you had to hold your arms up to get in. Crew # 3 sank something....the third times the charm? A very cool site for any sub fanatic http://www.vernianera.com/Hunley/reconstruction.html (http://www.vernianera.com/Hunley/reconstruction.html)

[Tango589]

I know, I keep sliding request under the head door to get Wolferz's approval, but he never signs the paper and slides it back to me. I've done it several hundred times...have no clue what he's doing in there with all the request. If I ask him vocally, he always tell me to "go away and don't come back."

I suggest we storm the head, force the door open and hold him accountable for his actions. That way he might do something productive, instead of hiding in the khazi contemplating his navel.:arrgh!:

Well if were all crankin' in unison in that converted boiler which killed its first two crews in training...including Mr Hunley, with our scaly tails interlocked...we won't be cold :/\\!! worth a read: PS & new detail I was not aware of: the torpedo was supposedly electrically detonated with copper spool and battery! http://www.militaryfactory.com/ships/detail-page-2.asp?ship_id=CSS-HL-Hunley-1863 (http://www.militaryfactory.com/ships/detail-page-2.asp?ship_id=CSS-HL-Hunley-1863) http://www.vernianera.com/Hunley/images/crew.gifThe hatches were so small you had to hold your arms up to get in. Crew # 3 sank something....the third times the charm? A very cool site for any sub fanatic http://www.vernianera.com/Hunley/reconstruction.html (http://www.vernianera.com/Hunley/reconstruction.html)
Cheers for the find Aktung, a very interesting read!:up:

[Eichhörnchen]

Cheers for the find Aktung, a very interesting read!:up:

I know I shouldn't be poking around down here but I agree: that was neat...

http://i.imgur.com/EtyqsLQ.jpg

[swamprat69er]

I know I shouldn't be poking around down here but I agree: that was neat...

http://i.imgur.com/EtyqsLQ.jpg
How did you do that?

[Armistead]

I suggest we storm the head, force the door open and hold him accountable for his actions. That way he might do something productive, instead of hiding in the khazi contemplating his navel.:arrgh!:




I tried to overthrow him once and you guys back out leaving me at his mercy....

Not falling for that again

[Jimbuna]

I tried to overthrow him once and you guys back out leaving me at his mercy....

Not falling for that again

Oh go on, you know it makes sense.

[Wolferz]

Please don't go picking on the handicapped again.:timeout:

[Tango589]

Please don't go picking on the handicapped again.:timeout:
The only handicap is your legs and arse have gone numb from sitting on the bog for too long!

[Wolferz]

The only handicap is your legs and arse have gone numb from sitting on the bog for too long!


Way too late for the 4F rating Jamit!

[Tango589]

Any chance of a spot of shore-leave?

[Wolferz]

Any chance of a spot of shore-leave?

Why not? Everybody else comes and goes as they please.
It's like fleet week in Tijuana.:arrgh!:

[Armistead]

What's going on here....?

Found some writings from the old days at Ubi on my old hard drive I put in my new PC

"Our days were spent letting rookie pilots drop practice depth charges on us, taking out and teaching freckled face PCO's how to use the TDC on stopped ships. When not doing that I was busy using #2 solvent to clean the red oxide lead primer from under my fingernails. Not only did #2 solvent clean primer, Tambor swore if you dumped it on your privates after a visit to the potato table, it would prevent the clap and even cure genital warts.

It wasn't all bad. We weren't allowed passes outside of base, but friends often brought back girls. We met them at the usual meeting place, dumpters behind the mess where some potato cutting tables were set up. With foreplay limited to, "What's your name, sweetheart?" those tables graced at least ten
nekked rears a night. Our nightly visitors didn't say much, just got on the table and about every three minutes one would remove the unfiltered Pall Mall from her lips to holller "Next." Other than a few knuckle sandwiches given to Tambor for breaking in line, it went off without a hitch. Hopefully our actions added much needed flavoring to the base Admirals morning spuds. "

[Wolferz]

Good thing those spuds only had eyes.:up: If they had mouths, they would have informed the admiral of our shenanigans. :timeout:
He did complain to the cook one time. Ordering him to stop mixing Tuna with his taters.

[Aktungbby]

Well taters, however tainted, is better than BILGERAT burgers!http://i.imgur.com/O8yKj55.jpg (http://www.postcrescent.com/article/20100126/APC0101/100126058/1979/Woman-found-guilty-of-planting-rat-in-meal):D

[Wolferz]

:huh:That hamburger is looking at me! :huh:

[fireftr18]

What's going on here....?

Found some writings from the old days at Ubi on my old hard drive I put in my new PC

"Our days were spent letting rookie pilots drop practice depth charges on us, taking out and teaching freckled face PCO's how to use the TDC on stopped ships. When not doing that I was busy using #2 solvent to clean the red oxide lead primer from under my fingernails. Not only did #2 solvent clean primer, Tambor swore if you dumped it on your privates after a visit to the potato table, it would prevent the clap and even cure genital warts.

It wasn't all bad. We weren't allowed passes outside of base, but friends often brought back girls. We met them at the usual meeting place, dumpters behind the mess where some potato cutting tables were set up. With foreplay limited to, "What's your name, sweetheart?" those tables graced at least ten
nekked rears a night. Our nightly visitors didn't say much, just got on the table and about every three minutes one would remove the unfiltered Pall Mall from her lips to holller "Next." Other than a few knuckle sandwiches given to Tambor for breaking in line, it went off without a hitch. Hopefully our actions added much needed flavoring to the base Admirals morning spuds. "

I kind of remember those days. Mrs fireftr wouldn't let me partake in the festivities. When you marry up like I did, you don't mind your wife keeping hold of certain parts. :woot:
I remember Tambor and Wolferz showing up on the same evening for first aid. Tambor had a sore jaw and was griping about it. :stare: Wolferz's hand was all messed up. He wouldn't stop crying about it enough to let me look at it. :wah: We found out later that he had two broken bones in his hand and couple broken fingers.

[donna52522]

There are 20,000 things I would like to say.....But the mouse burger stifled that. Glad to see armistead taking over the kitchen duties...of course I'd rather have a mouse burger than the coffee he makes. But like a good doggie, he will learn........getting him to stop peeing in the bilge will be tough, since he learned that from the captain.

[Wolferz]

There are 20,000 things I would like to say.....But the mouse burger stifled that. Glad to see armistead taking over the kitchen duties...of course I'd rather have a mouse burger than the coffee he makes. But like a good doggie, he will learn........getting him to stop peeing in the bilge will be tough, since he learned that from the captain.
For brevity's sake....
Shush.:03::O:

It sounds like Armistead got a new confuser. Now maybe he"ll stop fat fingering his posts. :up:

[Aktungbby]

There are 20,000 things I would like to say.....But the mouse burger stifled that. Glad to see armistead taking over the kitchen duties...of course I'd rather have a mouse burger than the coffee he makes. But like a good doggie, he will learn........getting him to stop peeing in the bilge will be tough, since he learned that from the captain.
I knew that proper cuisine would bring you back to the BILGE:yeah:...with a little help from Jimbuna in the proportions department!:up:

[Wolferz]

I knew that proper cuisine would bring you back to the BILGE:yeah:...with a little help from Jimbuna in the proportions department!:up:


Psst:shifty: That's not it at all. Donna is secretly in love with Armistead.:03::O:

If she could fall for a number two , a rat burger should be a cake walk.

[Wolferz]

Step up my good man.
I'm retiring to lurker status due to the site always cutting me off in mid senten.....
The Bilge is yours.
Good luck and goodbye.

[Eichhörnchen]

How did you do that?

How did I do what??

[swamprat69er]

I know I shouldn't be poking around down here but I agree: that was neat...

http://i.imgur.com/EtyqsLQ.jpg
Put the funny hat, glasses and tie on the tree rat.

[Eichhörnchen]

http://i.imgur.com/CcnDwwb.jpg

[Wolferz]

http://i.imgur.com/CcnDwwb.jpg

Let me guess...
You told your mates to get stuffed and they took it literally,:huh:

[Jimbuna]

Let me guess...
You told your mates to get stuffed and they took it literally,:huh:

Don't go putting ideas in anyones head :)

[Eichhörnchen]

http://i.imgur.com/lut11OY.jpg

[Wolferz]

Let me guess...
You told your mates to get stuffed and they took it literally,:huh:

At least George didn't fall for it.:O:

[swamprat69er]

http://i.imgur.com/lut11OY.jpg
Kinda looks like Mr. Ed.

[Eichhörnchen]

http://i.imgur.com/YTSZTDO.jpg?2

[Wolferz]

A police officer spots Clark Kent changing his clothes in a phone booth and asks him; "Who do you think you are!?

Clark replies; "I'm Superman, See my red "S"?

The officer replies; " I'll give ya a red "S" and a black eye if you don't cease and desist!"

[Eichhörnchen]

http://i.imgur.com/ZghTSYW.jpg

"Haarr-haarr!"

[Sailor Steve]

A police officer spots Clark Kent changing his clothes in a phone booth and asks him; "Who do you think you are!?

Clark replies; "I'm Superman, See my red "S"?

The officer replies; " I'll give ya a red "S" and a black eye if you don't cease and desist!"
If you're gonna steal material at least give credit where credit's due. :O:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yipSklgYJKw

[Wolferz]

If you're gonna steal material at least give credit where credit's due. :O:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yipSklgYJKw

Do I look like Carlos Mancia?:haha:

I was telling that joke before Bill stole it from me.:03::O:

[Sailor Steve]

I'd say "Prove it", but I can't prove you didn't. I guess it's your word against his.

Given his current reputation, I'd probably better apologize to you now. :dead:

[donna52522]

I'd say "Prove it", but I can't prove you didn't. I guess it's your word against his.

Given his current reputation, I'd probably better apologize to you now. :dead:


Given the fact they were both in the same hotel room when the joke was first said, and the fact that they both unknowingly slipped each other a mickey, only means the world will never know the jokes true author.

[Aktungbby]

Given the fact they were both in the same hotel room when the joke was first said, and the fact that they both unknowingly slipped each other a mickey, only means the world will never know the jokes true author.

It was so long ago, Wolferz almost got lynched for using the same entrance as Cosby:O:

[Wolferz]

Ipso Facto bby:shucks:

[Aktungbby]

A little Latin in the bilge! We're getting classier! :know:

[Wolferz]

A little Latin in the bilge! We're getting classier! :know:

It goes well with my avatar because it's a dead language.:dead:

Suitable only for the biggest rats on the planet....

Lawyers.:shifty:

[Aktungbby]

Unless it's a bilgerat toga party!:har:In vino veritas BBY! http://i651.photobucket.com/albums/uu235/Armistead1424/Armistead1424137/klcarrol-2_zps2d33efac.jpg

[Armistead]

Given the fact they were both in the same hotel room when the joke was first said, and the fact that they both unknowingly slipped each other a mickey, only means the world will never know the jokes true author.

donna, you've returned......we've missed you so...your membership is still in good standing.....or sitting if u prefer..

[Jimbuna]

donna, you've returned......we've missed you so...your membership is still in good standing.....or sitting if u prefer..

The return of the 'prodigal son'.

[swamprat69er]

The return of the 'prodigal son'.

Or is this case, 'daughter'.:D

[Armistead]

we just refer to her as the "Prodigy"

[Wolferz]

we just refer to her as the "Prodigy"

When did we stop calling her Nug?:D

[Armistead]

When did we stop calling her Nug?:D

When most her hair fell out due to the stew...

[Aktungbby]

Hey heads up bilgerats; its Donna's birthday! Sailor Steve has a thread going already so get over there and offer felicitations ASAP!:arrgh!:http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/showthread.php?p=2293941#post2293941 (http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/showthread.php?p=2293941#post2293941)

[Wolferz]

Unless it's a bilgerat toga party!:har:In vino veritas BBY! http://i651.photobucket.com/albums/uu235/Armistead1424/Armistead1424137/klcarrol-2_zps2d33efac.jpg
Wine goes well with Coke.:yeah:

[Wolferz]

When most her hair fell out due to the stew...

And here I thought it was the real' lard hair conditioner.:hmmm:
Live and learn.
:Kaleun_Binocular:

[Aktungbby]

Wine goes well with Coke.:yeah:

Indeed El Calimocho BBY! http://esq.h-cdn.co/assets/cm/15/07/54d8c7fda6066_-_esq-calimocho-new-0412-kobrfu-lg.jpg Coke and red wine make a perfectly delightful combination when mixed about 50-50 and well iced. The wine cuts the sweetness of the Coke, and the Coke adds zing to the wine. And it travels. Easily.
To prepare:
Take a 1.5-liter bottle of Coke and pour out half. Pour in one 750-mililiter bottle of dry (and cheap) red wine. Seal the bottle. Dispense into red Solo cups full of ice. Repeat. I go with a Two-buck Chuck Cabernet. BIG Hint: the Mexican coca-cola with real sugar-back to "the real thing" of the '60's! http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/b/bd/MexicanCoke.png/170px-MexicanCoke.png (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:MexicanCoke.png)and not that utterly disgusting corn syrup American crap. And....it's in a real glass bottle so my breasts don't enlarge from the BPA's (estrogen)??!! in the plastic containers BBY!:O: It's tough enough squeezing into my bilgerat toga these days! :k_confused:http://www.motherjones.com/environment/2014/06/bpa-free-plastics-tritan-nalgene-dangerous (http://www.motherjones.com/environment/2014/06/bpa-free-plastics-tritan-nalgene-dangerous)

[Wolferz]

Mexican Coke...
Is there any other kind?:D
Pepsi has jumped on the real sugar bandwagon but, it always tasted like bubble gum to me.:down::down:

[donna52522]

That's why you should stick with Dr Pepper :cool:

[Wolferz]

That's why you should stick with Dr Pepper :cool:

http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb295/Wolferz_2007/2147756419_5f6ac88bb0_z.jpg

I love it when you speak French!

[Armistead]

just has more a ring to it when Donna says it.......doesn't it?

[Wolferz]

just has more a ring to it when Donna says it.......doesn't it?

Yup. Like most girls her age, she's just looking for hapenis errr happiness.:oops:

[fireftr18]

just has more a ring to it when Donna says it.......doesn't it?
It always sounds better when Donna says it. :O:

[donna52522]

Yup. Like most girls her age, she's just looking for hapenis errr happiness.:oops:


And you're just glad to have your herpes...errr...hairpiece.

http://i1084.photobucket.com/albums/j408/donna577/herpes_zps97hfmmgl.png (http://s1084.photobucket.com/user/donna577/media/herpes_zps97hfmmgl.png.html)

[Aktungbby]

And you're just glad to have your herpes...errr...hairpiece.

http://i1084.photobucket.com/albums/j408/donna577/herpes_zps97hfmmgl.png (http://s1084.photobucket.com/user/donna577/media/herpes_zps97hfmmgl.png.html)And that's just to cover what's lacking on top-thank god for a shaggy peruke! For our 'other shortcomings' we've brought back the Renaissance...sartorially speaking of course! Except for Fireftr18 who clearly doesn't need help and our padre Tango who only wears his ecumenical celice. Me in the engine room...avoiding a tallywacker transplant in Capetown! Safety comes first in the BILGE BBY!http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/15/Oderus-urungus-04.jpg/640px-Oderus-urungus-04.jpg All ahead flank BBY

[Wolferz]

I still have all my hair, thank you very much for assuming the worst, and some extras growing in strange places...

http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb295/Wolferz_2007/01aa36eb9be537a6f73780a271ec4e39.jpg
It's a manscape bby@
Might I borrow your No No?

It's a good thing that chairs have legs... so they can run when the need arises.

[Jeff-Groves]

Amateurs!
:nope:
http://i.imgur.com/1WIQ9fW.jpg

[Aktungbby]

:har: :up: Keeping Django chained are we?:rotfl2:

[Jeff-Groves]

It's not about scare'n them away.
It's about make'n them want to break you outta jail.
So to speak.
:03:
:haha:

[Aktungbby]

Well we Lost Boys need all the help we can get in the Bilge!:arrgh!: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/8d/35/04/8d350426150784ff6ef83b1beb0c5afe.jpg

[Jeff-Groves]

I think you need to visit Dick's Sporting Goods.
:har:

All us Richard's shop there.

[Wolferz]

http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb295/Wolferz_2007/timmy.jpg

TIMMAY!

[Armistead]

I think you need to visit Dick's Sporting Goods.
:har:

All us Richard's shop there.

adult sex toy store?

[Wolferz]

adult sex toy store?

Only you would consider sex a sport.:arrgh!:

Did you ever perfect that one and a half gainer?

[Armistead]

Only you would consider sex a sport.:arrgh!:

Did you ever perfect that one and a half gainer?


Isn't it? I'm great, I get done in 30 seconds and scream "First Place!" Ha, you should see the look on my wife's face..........poor sport for sure...

[Jimbuna]

Isn't it? I'm great, I get done in 30 seconds and scream "First Place!" Ha, you should see the look on my wife's face..........poor sport for sure...

I guess some on here would say, "Pictures or it didn't happen" :)

[Aktungbby]

I guess some on here would say, "Pictures or it didn't happen"I get done in 30 seconds and scream... AHHHOOOGAAAHHH!! Crash dive! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBpb9EsM2jc (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBpb9EsM2jc) :smug:

[Wolferz]

I guess some on here would say, "Pictures or it didn't happen" :)

He says with the ban hammer behind his back.:huh:

[Armistead]

I guess some on here would say, "Pictures or it didn't happen" :)


Haha, I will, but may be awhile, wife is so scared of losing she only wants to compete a few times a year....

WINNING!

[Jimbuna]

He says with the ban hammer behind his back.:huh:

Haha, I will, but may be awhile, wife is so scared of losing she only wants to compete a few times a year....

WINNING!

LOL :)

[donna52522]

Good lord, have you guys ever thought that quick is a good thing sometimes? We have other things (and people) to do....so just hurry it up and go to sleep already. :-?

[Wolferz]

Good lord, have you guys ever thought that quick is a good thing sometimes? We have other things (and people) to do....so just hurry it up and go to sleep already. :-?


Hey!
I'm quick as a bunny...
It won't hurt. Did it?
:03::O::D
You get the wet spot.
:Kaleun_Sleep:

[donna52522]

Hey!
I'm quick as a bunny...
It won't hurt. Did it?
:03::O::D
You get the wet spot.
:Kaleun_Sleep:


And I bet your wife and her lover are ecstatic about that :D

[Aktungbby]

Haha, I will, but may be awhile, wife is so scared of losing she only wants to compete a few times a year....

WINNING!

Good lord, have you guys ever thought that quick is a good thing sometimes? We have other things (and people) to do....so just hurry it up and go to sleep already. :-?

Hey!
I'm quick as a bunny...
It won't hurt. Did it?
:03::O::D
You get the wet spot.
:Kaleun_Sleep:

And I bet your wife and her lover are ecstatic about that :D

Good torpedomen are never premature in their calculations in the Bilge-where's my damn Iswas!? of course the culturally astute Armistead calls it his 'Banjo' as he Carolina Shags his way to the sack...:shucks: There she is...here I was; did I take my little blue pill....are there batteries in the defibrillator...is the will witnessed? LOS BBY:Kaleun_Los::huh: :dead: Mein Gott! I hated calculus:/\\!! http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/7/7e/Csl.JPG/150px-Csl.JPG (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Csl.JPG)

[Wolferz]

And I bet your wife and her lover are ecstatic about that :D

Those two girls usually are.:doh:

I'm talking ex-wife by the way.

[Armistead]

Good lord, have you guys ever thought that quick is a good thing sometimes? We have other things (and people) to do....so just hurry it up and go to sleep already. :-?


thanks donna......if i can get mine in 1 minute and get some sleep, snuggling up with old bear, ........is it my fault she can't........anyways, she's going out with her girlfriends out of town this coming weekend yet again, so i'll have the house to myself....

[swamprat69er]

Just you and your dog? Would that qualify you as a canine sed****?

[Aktungbby]

C'mon now! leave ol' Bear outta this! That poor hound is the only thing Armibby's gotten ...straight in his life:O:

[Armistead]

good dog, fishing pole, drink of whiskey, quickie every now and then, what more could a man ask for.......

[Aktungbby]

good dog, fishing pole, drink of whiskey, quickie every now and then, what more could a man ask for.......

A lascivious well endowed entity on a lonely bridge in the twilight zone?:O:

[swamprat69er]

good dog, quickie every now and then, what more could a man ask for.......
Fixed it for you.:har::rotfl2:

[fireftr18]

A lascivious well endowed entity on a lonely bridge in the twilight zone?:O:

Armistead, didn't you have an experience with an entity on the bridge on your property? :hmmm: If I remember right, Bear was quite the guard dog. :D

[Aktungbby]

A lascivious well endowed entity on a lonely bridge in the twilight zone?:O:

Armistead, didn't you have an experience with an entity on the bridge on your property? :hmmm: If I remember right, Bear was quite the guard dog. :D

Indeed who could ever forget! http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/showthread.php?t=208441 (http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/showthread.php?t=208441) The thread of the year! "If you're a spirit will you show yourself?":shucks: Did it for me at the time as I was new; I stayed on at :subsim:... and occasionally...I show myself!:har:

[Armistead]

Armistead, didn't you have an experience with an entity on the bridge on your property? :hmmm: If I remember right, Bear was quite the guard dog. :D


I still walk it from time to time.......something strange is up there for sure....some people that canoe at night posted in a river forum they saw a ghost on "the old iron bridge"..... course, i don't want a deal over it, that crap brings people in snooping and playing...

[Armistead]

Fixed it for you.:har::rotfl2:


:huh:

[Eichhörnchen]

Armistead, didn't you have an experience with an entity on the bridge on your property? :hmmm: If I remember right, Bear was quite the guard dog. :D

Do you have a link to this? I like a spooky story...

[Wolferz]

Do you have a link to this? I like a spooky story...

It was just the light from Venus reflecting off of Armibby's swamp gas.:O:

Stay away from the bog of eternal stench.

[fireftr18]

Do you have a link to this? I like a spooky story...

Aktungbby posted the link to the story.

http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/showthread.php?t=208441

[Wolferz]

Aktungbby posted the link to the story.

http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/showthread.php?t=208441

Squirrels can't read.:rotfl2:

[Eichhörnchen]

If squirrels are "less intelligent" and "can't read", how come they still fooled all you guys yesterday, April 1?

[swamprat69er]

If squirrels are "less intelligent" and "can't read", how come they still fooled all you guys yesterday, April 1?
Because you are not really a squirrel? But a man in squirrels' clothing.

[Jimbuna]

Because you are not really a squirrel? But a man in squirrels' clothing.

http://i.imgur.com/I0FgX7v.jpg

[donna52522]

good dog, fishing pole, drink of whiskey, quickie every now and then, what more could a man ask for.......

"A quickie" In my state there are laws against that, poor doggie :cry:

[Wolferz]

:agree: The poor little dog.:huh:

[Aktungbby]

"A quickie" In my state there are laws against that, poor doggie :cry:

:agree: The poor little dog.:huh:

https://s3.amazonaws.com/lowres.cartoonstock.com/computers-dog-pet-animal-pups-puppy-mbcn412_low.jpg:D

[Armistead]

Do you have a link to this? I like a spooky story...

I was actually being honest with that story......don't think people believed me...

[fireftr18]

I was actually being honest with that story......don't think people believed me...

We believed YOU. We were just skeptical of the actual story. You have to remember (or maybe you don't), the bilge brew was flowing rather freely those days.
:Kaleun_Cheers:

[Eichhörnchen]

Because you are not really a squirrel? But a man in squirrels' clothing.

Be that as it may, the nuts remain undiscovered but in plain view, even now...

[Wolferz]

Be that as it may, the nuts remain undiscovered but in plain view, even now...

Nothing that a few moth balls won't cure...
If we can get his wittle wegs uncwossed.

[Aktungbby]

Nothing that a few moth balls won't cure...
If we can get his wittle wegs uncwossed.Aboard das Bilge Boot the smell of mothballs iss das smell of victory:O:

[Wolferz]

Aboard das Bilge Boot the smell of mothballs iss das smell of victory:O:



Keeps the roaches at bay.:cool:

[Armistead]

OK, who let the bilge fall back to the third page......that's a failure of proper leadership....

For the fun of it last night went back to the old Ubi forum and went back several years, we had some good times there....Heck, able to track my life events. Good times for sure...

[Wolferz]

OK, who let the bilge fall back to the third page......that's a failure of proper leadership....

Well, you're in charge at the moment!:haha:

[Aktungbby]

For the fun of it last night went back to the old Ubi forum and went back several years, we had some good times there....Heck, able to track my life events. Good times for sure... Preparing to write your memoirs are you??!

[fireftr18]

For the fun of it last night went back to the old Ubi forum and went back several years, we had some good times there....Heck, able to track my life events. Good times for sure...

We definitely had some fun times with each other. Did you troll through to see if it's any good now? Or has it mainly died out?
I do wish Wernher would join in here.

[Armistead]

We definitely had some fun times with each other. Did you troll through to see if it's any good now? Or has it mainly died out?
I do wish Wernher would join in here.

totally dead, maybe a few post in last 6 months, think last one was back in january

[swamprat69er]

I do wish Wernher would join in here.
I think his sense of humour and outlook on life would fit in great here.

[Aktungbby]

Perhaps if we all PM him, He'll drop in for a visit...worked last time!:arrgh!:

[Wolferz]

totally dead, maybe a few post in last 6 months, think last one was back in january


Of course it's dead over there.
We Left!:timeout:
:har:

[swamprat69er]

He hasn't replied to the last PM I sent him, so I don't think I carry much influence with him.

[Wolferz]

He hasn't replied to the last PM I sent him, so I don't think I carry much influence with him.

Maybe he finally got a real job and just doesn't have time.:03:

[fireftr18]

Of course it's dead over there.
We Left!:timeout:
:har:

Good point. We were the ones that kept it interesting. :D
Now we've come and poisoned Subsim. :subsim:
Maybe we're the reason Ubisoft came up with the rules. :O:

[swamprat69er]

Good point. We were the ones that kept it interesting. :D
Now we've come and poisoned Subsim. :subsim:
Maybe we're the reason Ubisoft came up with the rules. :O:
Rules, rules, what rules?
The last I remember (but I have slept since then) UBI wanted our addresses and I wasn't about to give them mine. The people that I want to have my address, already have it.

[Armistead]

Yea, I miss my old buddy Wern, basically just vanished on us without a word....but good to see him for a bit last round and he's OK.....

[swamprat69er]

I am going to do the same thing here very shortly. After 5th May I will be going back to work so I wont be on as regularly.
So Captain, request permission to go ashore to the hoe house?

[Wolferz]

I am going to do the same thing here very shortly. After 5th May I will be going back to work so I wont be on as regularly.
So Captain, request permission to go ashore to the hoe house?

Permission granted.
Don't forget your drill. Even if you don't know how to use it. :03::O:

[donna52522]

I keep telling Denis4510 from Ubisoft SH4 forums to swing by here. I chat with him now and again on Facebook...

[Wolferz]

I keep telling Denis4510 from Ubisoft SH4 forums to swing by here. I chat with him now and again on Facebook...

He's on Steam too.

He might already be here under a new moniker so, I'll refrain from tossing out the insults.:03:
Well, maybe just one....
Armistead:O:

[fireftr18]

Rules, rules, what rules?
The last I remember (but I have slept since then) UBI wanted our addresses and I wasn't about to give them mine. The people that I want to have my address, already have it.
That's really what I meant, demanding personal information that doesn't matter and that we really wish to not disclose.

[Wolferz]

That's really what I meant, demanding personal information that doesn't matter and that we really wish to not disclose.

They only did that to clean us out of their hair.
After the SH V debacle, I think they just decided to stick the knife in us and the fork in the franchise and call it done because they knew the money well had dried up.

[Wolferz]

Rules, rules, what rules?
The last I remember (but I have slept since then) UBI wanted our addresses and I wasn't about to give them mine. The people that I want to have my address, already have it.

I think they just wanted to know where to send the subpoenas for copyright infringement after they laid claim to all materials including player created content. :hmmm::-?

[Eichhörnchen]

http://i.imgur.com/UEtpuTu.jpg?1 YOU KNOW IT MAKES SENSE!

[swamprat69er]

?WHY?

[Wolferz]

?WHY?

Why not?
I like Squirrels. They're delicious.:up::shucks::arrgh!:

[swamprat69er]

Why not?
I like Squirrels. They're delicious.:up::shucks::arrgh!:
My thoughts, exactly. Ours are fed chicken feed with lots of corn.

[Eichhörnchen]

Because a vote for squirrels greatly increases the likelihood of a Hung Parliament, which means even more nuts in the House Of Commons.

[swamprat69er]

Because a vote for squirrels greatly increases the likelihood of a Hung Parliament, which means even more nuts in the House Of Commons.
A House of Commons wont be so 'common' if it is loaded up with fat, corn fed squirrels. Don't forget there are hungry cats all over the world that like fat, corn fed squirrels.

[Armistead]

Squirrels don't eat corn......

[swamprat69er]

Squirrels don't eat corn......
If that is what is on offer, they will eat it. If it aint squirrels, then what is eating my corn? Can't be deer, the holes in the door are too small for deer, but they are big enough for squirrels and chipmunks.

[fireftr18]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OxYYPziLdR4

[Aktungbby]

Because a vote for squirrels greatly increases the likelihood of a Hung Parliament, which means even more nuts in the House Of Commons.

Being a well hung parliamentarian myself...I certainly enjoy the Uncommon fellowship of the nuts here in the Bilge myself.:D "If we do not hang together we shall surely hang separately" B. Franklin? @ Armistead I know that corn cobs are an important cultural thang down yer way:doh: but ...sorryhttp://whatwillsquirrelseat.com/wp-content/uploads/yapb_cache/dsc02880.16m139gey6aoccs00cgs44k8w.ae6egtt2xvk0sow k84g4ock8k.th.jpeg the buggers eat anything! The corn and squirrel appear...well hung too!:D

[Wolferz]

Squirrels will eat just about anything.
http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb295/Wolferz_2007/th-2.jpg
Moth Balls...
http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb295/Wolferz_2007/Rango-Film-Review.jpg
BEANS...


http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb295/Wolferz_2007/chipmunks-20mac-20animals-20chipmunks-20tamias485.jpg

FEED ME! SEYMORE

[Armistead]

Not saying they won't eat it if there's nothing else around, but they don't like it........I have cornfields and I've yet to see a squirrel in it....Course, sure a northern squirrel might eat corn...

[swamprat69er]

If you want to see 'something' look in an attic that squirrels have been nesting in. They will even eat the wiring in your house, live or not, they don't care.

[Wolferz]

You don't see squirrels in your corn crib because the rats will eat them.:know:

[Eichhörnchen]

http://i.imgur.com/iUM5phD.jpg?2 You guys are turning into a bunch of squirrel-phobics, Man...

[fireftr18]

http://i1168.photobucket.com/albums/r496/fireftr18/Squirrel_zps1louvzmh.jpg (http://s1168.photobucket.com/user/fireftr18/media/Squirrel_zps1louvzmh.jpg.html)

[donna52522]

Just how many squirrels do we have on the boat now?!

http://i1084.photobucket.com/albums/j408/donna577/10406605_941593339200195_7045228832937235624_n_zps 5167721f.jpg (http://s1084.photobucket.com/user/donna577/media/10406605_941593339200195_7045228832937235624_n_zps 5167721f.jpg.html)

This is all Wolferz and Armisteads fault, if we kept those crocodiles we picked up in Brisbane we wouldn't need to worry about squirrels. But no, they just had to have their croc accessories, Armistead with his size 64 belt and Wolferz needing two pairs of boots he'll never wear.

http://i1084.photobucket.com/albums/j408/donna577/Bunk_zpsl27pofjh.png (http://s1084.photobucket.com/user/donna577/media/Bunk_zpsl27pofjh.png.html)

[Eichhörnchen]

That photo above has been edited in deference to Aktung (I do have some sensitivities). The uncensored version is on my Profile Page...

[Wolferz]

That we picked up the squirrels at a dinner for schmucks.:doh:

Eich's stuffed squirrel dioramas were very entertaining, at least until Armistead discovered that one of them was still very much alive when it ran up his trouser leg in search of nuts.:o

That's what he gets for stuffing his skivvies with two walnuts and a summer sausage. Similar to the way you stuff your bras.
False advertising will always get you into trouble but, at least you'll always have a tissue handy.:arrgh!:
Go ahead
Throw another table.
You know you want to.

[donna52522]

That's what he gets for stuffing his skivvies with two walnuts and a summer sausage. Similar to the way you stuff your bras.
False advertising will always get you into trouble but, at least you'll always have a tissue handy.

Glad you added in the tissue part, at first I thought you were accusing me of having nuts and a summer sausage stuffed into my bra. Nothing even remotely like that has happened for about 37 hours...and counting. But you didn't here that from me.

http://i1084.photobucket.com/albums/j408/donna577/394221_3061885996142_1533213211_33057452_72116996_ n_zpsdv1nqcqc.jpg (http://s1084.photobucket.com/user/donna577/media/394221_3061885996142_1533213211_33057452_72116996_ n_zpsdv1nqcqc.jpg.html)

[Aktungbby]

http://i.imgur.com/iUM5phD.jpg?2That photo above has been edited in deference to Aktung https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4XhDpSgHrs (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4XhDpSgHrs) But who need Sinsimilla when fermented pumpkins will do-in Minnesota naturally! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ikH9ZRcF2Q (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ikH9ZRcF2Q) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXW0E_q4JPw (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXW0E_q4JPw)

[Wolferz]

Glad you added in the tissue part, at first I thought you were accusing me of having nuts and a summer sausage stuffed into my bra. Nothing even remotely like that has happened for about 37 hours...and counting. But you didn't here that from me.

http://i1084.photobucket.com/albums/j408/donna577/394221_3061885996142_1533213211_33057452_72116996_ n_zpsdv1nqcqc.jpg (http://s1084.photobucket.com/user/donna577/media/394221_3061885996142_1533213211_33057452_72116996_ n_zpsdv1nqcqc.jpg.html)

Nope, didn't hear a thing.:03::O:

[Aktungbby]

...You are kinky bby... Aw jeeze Christian! Now She'll think I put you up to that!:O: http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMTk4MDUzNjc2Nl5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMjgyMTI5Ng@@._ V1_SX640_SY720_.jpg

[Wolferz]

... Aw jeeze Christian! Now She'll think I put you up to that!:O: http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMTk4MDUzNjc2Nl5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMjgyMTI5Ng@@._ V1_SX640_SY720_.jpg





I certainly don't want her thinking that I put me up to it!
She throws a table very un-lady like. :hulk:
Usually when I'm winning at strip poker:timeout:

[fireftr18]

Just how many squirrels do we have on the boat now?!

I think we're all a little squirly.

:Kaleun_Goofy:

But you didn't here that from me.

Hear what?
:Kaleun_Sleep:

[donna52522]

Who keeps letting this thread drop from the front page? What kind of officers are running this boat?

Wolferz and Armistead, you best shape up or I will send your wives those pictures.....I mean even I still can't believe what the two of you did to that chicken sandwich.

[Wolferz]

Who keeps letting this thread drop from the front page? What kind of officers are running this boat?

Wolferz and Armistead, you best shape up or I will send your wives those pictures.....I mean even I still can't believe what the two of you did to that chicken sandwich.

Go ahead and send the pictures.
My wife could use a good laugh about now.:up:

As for the sandwich...
I still can't believe that you ate it!:doh:

[Aktungbby]

you best shape up or I will send your wives those picturesI mean even I still can't believe what the two of you did to that chicken sandwich. HUH!!!??? Do you mean to the chicken...before it was a sandwich???!!!:o Hold the MAYO! http://www.savagechickens.com/wp-content/uploads/chickenpuppettime.jpg
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/c2/05/22/c2052230e825d385c04e8ba163ca1cff.jpg

[Eichhörnchen]

Are there any transvestites working down here in the blidge? I'm recruiting for a new thread...:D

[donna52522]

As for the sandwich...
I still can't believe that you ate it!:doh:


Touché, jerk...............and I doubt I need to inform your wife about that.

[Wolferz]

Touché, jerk...............and I doubt I need to inform your wife about that.

Ow!:wah::O::haha:

BTW: My wife is named Donna too.:arrgh!:

[Armistead]

Are there any transvestites working down here in the blidge? I'm recruiting for a new thread...:D


Swamp and fire are! I am, but only on Friday nights one night a month. Don't connect that with the one night a month Wolferz comes out of the head. That's a rumor.

[Wolferz]

Swamp and fire are! I am, but only on Friday nights one night a month. Don't connect that with the one night a month Wolferz comes out of the head. That's a rumor.

Not a rumor.

The Viagra and the Horse liniment need to be refilled.

[Aktungbby]

Not a rumor.

The Viagra and the Horse liniment need to be refilled.

At least you can use your newly acquired Polident grip to wear the chocolate Pasties you got last Valentine' s Day...:D I'll be wearing these Pac Man ones with my feather boa and my speedo swimsuit...:yeah:

[Wolferz]

Wait until you see Mrs. Doubtfirefiter18.:yep::haha:

[Aktungbby]

Wait until you see Mrs. Doubtfirefiter18.:yep::haha:
From which we get 'Cher-chez la femme' BBY:timeout: pasties central!?? I'll have to wear ol' Fido's spike collar to keep up with Padre Tango in his celice and his wife's borrowed old 'lean and slippery pantaloons'. Poor Eichhörnchen's gonna need a defibrillator: too much excitement...after a long day in the studio painting and sniffing turpentine vapors and any other vapors he's into!:dead: http://i.imgur.com/iUM5phD.jpg?2http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/1d/Cher_Believe_D2K.jpg/640px-Cher_Believe_D2K.jpg
Of course I'll be bustling about serving Hamm's and wearing a little padded-contour under my Bilgerat kahuna Pareo...in case I fall on my keester.:03: http://ep.yimg.com/ay/abcunderwear/aboriginal-tribal-mini-sarong-3.jpg (http://www.abcunderwear.com/aboriginal-tribal-mini-sarong-sar59.html) http://images.mentalfloss.com/sites/default/files/styles/insert_main_wide_image/public/bustle.jpg oldstyle bustles-safety's always first in the slippery Bilge:smug:

[Aktungbby]

but only on Friday nights one night a month. Don't connect that with the one night a month Wolferz comes out of the head. That's a rumor.We gotta take care of that rumor...as chief of the boat this is getting outta hand- a little paint can't hurt:O: https://www.warhistoryonline.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/DSC_0058.jpg

[Armistead]

At least you can use your newly acquired Polident grip to wear the chocolate Pasties you got last Valentine' s Day...:D I'll be wearing these Pac Man ones with my feather boa and my speedo swimsuit...:yeah:



i just threw up in my mouth, thanks...

[Aktungbby]

No barfin' in your 'Nags' borrowed Victoria's Secret finery; I've no doubt Swamprat won't be able to keep his eyes off you at the event.:haha: And no wearin' Bear's dog collar with the filched outfit either when you make an entrance:shifty: I don't wanna get upstaged.:smug: God knows what Donna's gonna be wearin'! :03: We may have to rename our sub the SS Priscilla...:hmmm:

[fireftr18]

Nice grab on the photo Achtung!
:Kaleun_Thumbs_Up:

[Wolferz]

I always feared you guys were into the caped buttresses.:o

They flutter like fairy wings with every fart.

EDIT:

Example...

Armistead pulls a 7th arpeggio in the key of C...

out of his arse!
http://www.msn.com/en-us/video/downtime/man-composes-epic-music-with-his-fart/vi-BBjUr0a?ocid=iehp

[Armistead]

Having lived in the bilge for so long I have a pro at knowing the real fart from the mouth made fart. Feel farts here are made in the aft...

[fireftr18]

Having lived in the bilge for so long I have a pro at knowing the real fart from the mouth made fart. Feel farts here are made in the aft... :timeout:
What? Huh? :06:
Wolferz, Armistead forgot to take his medication again! Either that or forgot to go to the restroom. :hmmm:

[Wolferz]

:timeout:
What? Huh? :06:
Wolferz, Armistead forgot to take his medication again! Either that or forgot to go to the restroom. :hmmm:

We keep adding Beano to his food. It doesn't seem to be working.:-?

[Tango589]

One of these days Arimstead's going to follow through on a fart, and I hope to be there to witness this momentous occasion!

[Aktungbby]

One of these days Arimstead's going to follow through on a fart, and I hope to be there to witness this momentous occasion!
Of course as the boat's Padre we'll expect your 'witnessing' to be of 'penitential nature: http://www.swapmeetdave.com/Humor/Pics/C-Pardon-me.jpg:D
As for Armistead; well have to post warning signs in the cramped area of the Bilge. http://www.swapmeetdave.com/Humor/Fart-Sign.jpgAs chief of the boat, I always go topside to vent-never into the wind!http://www.swapmeetdave.com/Humor/FartFire.jpgof course I leave a trail of these on the way uphttp://www.swapmeetdave.com/Humor/Fireball.gif http://www.swapmeetdave.com/Humor/Fireball.gifhttp://www.swapmeetdave.com/Humor/Fireball.gif:smug: Those in power are not always so considerate! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sqemO2yXeD0 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sqemO2yXeD0) :03:

[fireftr18]

One of these days Arimstead's going to follow through on a fart, and I hope to be there to witness this momentous occasion!

You're a brave soul, either that or just plain foolish. I don't want to be anywhere near when he farts.
:Kaleun_Sick:

[Wolferz]

That's why we keep him topside when leaving foggy 'Frisco Bay. To warn other watercraft of our presence and to wake up everyone in Oakland.:shucks::arrgh!:
The stench is for the benefit of those who are deaf.

[Aktungbby]

Some one forgot on this occasion; I don't see him on deck:O:http://www.maritime.org/img/pampbridge.jpg

[Wolferz]

Some one forgot on this occasion; I don't see him on deck:O:http://www.maritime.org/img/pampbridge.jpg

That's not us.

[Armistead]

One of these days Arimstead's going to follow through on a fart, and I hope to be there to witness this momentous occasion!


I'm not gonna fart until we go out on patrol, come under heavy depth charge attack, almost out of air, CO2 high.....Just as we're about to die and you guys have a few last breathes in ya, I'm gonna let her rip. One last memory of old Arm before you meet your maker....God knows you deserve it!!

[Aktungbby]

As chief of the boat, I protest; your farts are held 'in reserve' for blowing ballast ONLY.:hmph:

[Armistead]

As chief of the boat, I protest; your farts are held 'in reserve' for blowing ballast ONLY.:hmph:

No, something about the thought of you guys choking on my sweetness as you die would give me great pleasure as I draw my last breath......I honestly expect to see faces turn blue holding breath as people run for the gun locker to put a quick end to it, but I have the key and we all know they only gave us used muskets from the Civil War and the powder is bad....

Course, with Wolferz hiding locked in the head, I may just put crack to hatch opening and give him the full blast and see if he will come out.

[Wolferz]

Give it your best shot...
http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb295/Wolferz_2007/5HB59_AS01.jpg

[Tango589]

Can anyone tell me why I've just seen Fireftr walking round wearing a pair of 'Winnie the Pooh' dungarees and an Australian hat with corks on? Has he been drinking the eye drops again?

[Wolferz]

Can anyone tell me why I've just seen Fireftr walking round wearing a pair of 'Winnie the Pooh' dungarees and an Australian hat with corks on? Has he been drinking the eye drops again?


Just our Rat-tastic Bilge Brew.:doh:

[fireftr18]

Can anyone tell me why I've just seen Fireftr walking round wearing a pair of 'Winnie the Pooh' dungarees and an Australian hat with corks on? Has he been drinking the eye drops again?

What's wrong with the way I dress? :06:

[donna52522]

I am not afraid of Armisteads farts..

Running out of electrical tape is what scares me..

http://i1084.photobucket.com/albums/j408/donna577/Gasmask-Fashion-Fetish_zpscny64gbu.jpg (http://s1084.photobucket.com/user/donna577/media/Gasmask-Fashion-Fetish_zpscny64gbu.jpg.html)

[Armistead]

My brother lets the worse farts possible. Those silent ones that would make a maggot gag. Younger days as a teen our family went to a fundy baptist church. Ever so often some youth would fart and cause people to go into laughing fits, not that way with my brother, he let those silent ones knock a buzzard off a crap wagon right during preaching and he could keep a straight face through the entire ordeal. He had a look he gave, our eyes would meet and he'd sort of lift his eyebrow and I knew hell was coming.

Like a rogue wave, you'd watch expression of peoples faces as it traveled, one by one, praying it wouldn't reach you. I would promise God right then to quit masturbating. You can't stop laughing at people, knowing you better stop laughing before it reaches you. I watched the guy next to me turn green and I knew I was next, tried to stop laughing, took a deep breath, but I got a good whiff. Things went black and I got dizzy. I got up, not being rude, headed for the alter. This is typical in a baptist church, anyone gets the urge during preaching can just head on down. Why you never ate lunch to 2PM on Sunday.. Preacher looked at me and said " do you seek salvation?" With tears in my eyes, I replied with a firm "yes i do!".

Next, crippled lady in a wheel chair gets up and opens the window. Preacher thought healed and praised the Lord. A few of my youth friends caught on and to escape, they came to the alter too. Preacher said the spirit was moving, but we knew that it was much more than the spirit that came out of my brothers ass. Several youth on the alter with red faces, tears in their eyes, sure it looked spiritual. Old Ms Johnson fell over when it hit her, preacher thought spirit slayed her, but fart killed her outright. Later at her funeral 5 more was saved, so he said it was worth it.

With all the fuss on our side the aisle, those on the other side weren't to be outdone. We had one old fat black lady in the church, one black was allowed as long as they were old. She was like a spiritual lady, people listened to her. When the fart hit her, she hollered out "da angels done broke the 7th seal, judgement day is here!" so that really got people stirred up and revival broke out.

The choir hit the old gospel, "softly and tenderly" but there was nothing soft or tender about my brothers farts, yet he still sit there stone cold as the entire church was headed for the alter. Saw the church mouse heading out the back. The entire youth group ....rededicated and several people got saved. The Lord does work in mysterious ways!

[Aktungbby]

At least you can use your newly acquired Polident grip to wear the chocolate Pasties you got last Valentine' s DayNo barfin' in your 'Nags' borrowed Victoria's Secret finery; I've no doubt Swamprat won't be able to keep his eyes off you at the event.:haha: And no wearin' Bear's dog collar with the filched outfit either when you make an entrance:shifty: I don't wanna get upstaged.:smug: God knows what Donna's gonna be wearin'! :03: We may have to rename our sub the SS Priscilla...:hmmm:

I am not afraid of Armisteads farts..

Running out of electrical tape is what scares me..

http://i1084.photobucket.com/albums/j408/donna577/Gasmask-Fashion-Fetish_zpscny64gbu.jpg (http://s1084.photobucket.com/user/donna577/media/Gasmask-Fashion-Fetish_zpscny64gbu.jpg.html) Electric tape pasties!!! and the abominable Threat from Armistead neutralized all in one fell swoop!....Sartorial Splendor in the BILGE BBY!:03:That's IT party's ON!

[Jimbuna]

My brother lets the worse farts possible. Those silent ones that would make a maggot gag. Younger days as a teen our family went to a fundy baptist church. Ever so often some youth would fart and cause people to go into laughing fits, not that way with my brother, he let those silent ones knock a buzzard off a crap wagon right during preaching and he could keep a straight face through the entire ordeal. He had a look he gave, our eyes would meet and he'd sort of lift his eyebrow and I knew hell was coming.

Like a rogue wave, you'd watch expression of peoples faces as it traveled, one by one, praying it wouldn't reach you. I would promise right then to quit masturbating. You can't stop laughing at people, knowing you better stop laughing before it reach you. I watch the guy next to me turn green and I knew I was next, tried to stop laughing, take a deep breath, but I got a good whiff. Things went black and I got dizzy. I got up, not being rude headed for the alter. This is typical in a baptist church, anyone get the urge during preaching can just head on down. Why you never ate lunch to 2PM on Sunday.. Preacher looked at me and said " do you seek salvation?" and I replied with a firm "yes i do" hoping to get some fresh air as several said "amen".

Next, crippled lady in a wheel chair gets up and opens the window. Preacher thought healed and praised the Lord. A few of my youth friends caught on and to escape, they came to the alter too. Preacher said the spirit was moving, but we knew it was much more than the spirit. Several youth on the alter with red faces, tears in their eyes, sure it looked spiritual. Old Ms Johnson fell over when it hit her, preacher thought spirit slayed her, but fart killed her outright. Later at her funeral 5 more was saved, so he said it was worth it.

With all the fuss on our side the aisle, those on the other side weren't to be outdone. We had one old fat black lady in the church, one was allowed. She was like a spiritual lady, people listened to her. When the fart hit her, she hollered out "da angels done broke the 7th seal, judgement day is here!" so that really got people stirred up.

The choir hit the old gospel, "softly and tenderly" but there was nothing soft or tender what came out my brothers butt, yet, he still sit there stone cold as the entire church was headed for the alter, most wanting air. Saw the church mouse heading out the back. The entire youth group ....rededicated and several people got saved. The Lord does work in mysterious ways!

I know I shouldn't :shifty:


:har::har::har:

[Wolferz]

Please forgive Armistead. He knows not what he do.
Airs of crepitation and the low rider boustier with strategic electrical tape...

The Bilge got it all bby! :yeah:

Could somebody please sink this thing before my sides split?

:har::haha::har::haha::har:

[Aktungbby]

As chief of the boat, I protest; your farts are held 'in reserve' for blowing ballast ONLY.:hmph:


... Preacher looked at me and said " do you seek salvation?" and I replied with a firm "yes i do" hoping to get some fresh air as several said "amen".

Preacher thought healed and praised the Lord. A few of my youth friends caught on and to escape, they came to the alter too. Preacher said the spirit was moving, but we knew it was much more than the spirit.
With all the fuss on our side the aisle, those on the other side weren't to be outdone. We had one old fat black lady in the church, one was allowed. She was like a spiritual lady, people listened to her. When the fart hit her, she hollered out "da angels done broke the 7th seal, judgement day is here!" so that really got people stirred up.

The Lord does work in mysterious ways! Well there it all is on second reading: I've had an Epiphany! As long as the boat's Padre, Tango, is at hand to elicit salvation and redeem the Bilge, Armistead may bestow his 'blessing' at will.:Kaleun_Sick:The anus cannot be heinous if it's in the service of the Lord! No wonder they're called 'Pews'!:O:

[Eichhörnchen]

http://i.imgur.com/YghUzuD.jpg "Oooooh...!"

Was that just the worst pun I ever heard?

[Wolferz]

I thought it was P U s.

Yeah, what do I know?

[Tango589]

As long as the boat's Padre, Tango, is at hand to elicit salvation and redeem the Bilge...

Mate, this tub is well beyond redemption. All I can do is offer up the good word and give benediction to the sail hatch (and bless it with Holy Bilge Oil) to make sure it opens readily when Wolferz decides to leave the head, causing a great stink to rise up throughout the boat.

http://i298.photobucket.com/albums/mm260/tango589/Praying.jpg

[Armistead]

Pews. I like it.