The Bilge

[Jimbuna]

I think I will nominate "The Bilge" for thread of the year. With our vast membership it would be a powerful voting block and with a win for Wolferz. maybe we would be taken seriously.

I didn't mean to suggest it was that good :)

[Tango589]

Now we will have Rûmpe d' Armístèd Fricásee in a brown sugar/rum(Pusser's) mustard glaze(to hide the taste) with capers, a side of collard greens and corn pone from your cob stash by the head and a garnish of Catfish's hallucinatory mushrooms. :Kaleun_Salivating:With some of tango's communion Chianti!!

Well, that's dinner decided, except I'll be serving goat instead of Zods' butt cheeks. Also, I don't have any brown sugar, rum, mustard, capers or collard greens, so it's goat with hallucinatory mushrooms and corn pone served with iffy salad cream and seasoned with finely ground 'roaches. Bon Apetite!

[Armistead]

I didn't mean to suggest it was that good :)

Do they have to be good? Slowly our numbers grow as we take more and more power here at Subsim. A win in the contest would be good advertising, nothing more......and we have the numbers to do it....:D

[Aktungbby]

Well, that's dinner decided, except I'll be serving goat instead of Zods' butt cheeks. Also, I don't have any brown sugar, rum, mustard, capers or collard greens, so it's goat with hallucinatory mushrooms and corn pone served with iffy salad cream and seasoned with finely ground 'roaches. Bon Apetite!

Well green mold from the head plumbing will do for greens. No messin' with the pone though: White corn meal 10 lb mix cornmeal, sugar and salt in a big bowl; Sugar 24 oz; mix in hot shortening, add hot water in portions, mixing Salt 8 oz with a large serving spoon dish cornpone onto greased sheet pan; Shortening (grease drippin's from Armi's roasting rump may be substituted along with whatever Afto-o-glide he left us!) hot 3.5 lb bake on 475F to done, about 45 min, tops will be brown Water hot; about 4 gal Makes about 200 pones. In the South, where it was wheat biscuits for the gentry and corn pones for the slaves... well...Slaves or bilgerats-small difference!http://www.smiley-lol.com/smiley/look-beaute/lunettes/vil2_lunettes.gif and for those loooong silent approaches to set Armistead's spar torpedo, the extra pones will sustain us so we don't chew the crank bench seat-wood to splinters. We'll save the goat for a 'victory' meal after we actually sink something!:yeah:

[Armistead]

Don't forget, we'll be fishing while on patrol. I plan to troll for some grouper.

Donna also kept the secret ingredient on the top shelf, she called it "crab pepper." It's actually pubic lice we pick off each other like monkeys, instead of disposing it, she put it in a pepper shaker...

[Wolferz]

http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb295/Wolferz_2007/bikers_detroit67.jpg

Armistead graciously drove around Wewak as we looked for the chief and took him to the club.

Yes, that's a genuine Wewak Slugger. After seeing this picture, I should have taken my Hell's angel's suggestion and wore a helmet. The hair was really scaring the common folk on the island.

We could have left the island long before the nuptials if Armistead hadn't sank our damned ship!

[Armistead]

C'mon, that was a picture the Wewak News took of us as we escaped through town....We just ran out of gas.....Later, it became a wanted poster and we made our way through the jungle, found the rest the crew and escaped on our lifeboat.

[Wolferz]

C'mon, that was a picture the Wewak News took of us as we escaped through town....We just ran out of gas.....Later, it became a wanted poster and we made our way through the jungle, found the rest the crew and escaped on our lifeboat.

That picture was from the return to Wewak trip.
The chief looked better with that big old knot on his head and the bone knocked out of his nose.:up:
I'm still saddened at not finding Kinki. I guess they sacrificed her to the volcano.:wah:

Want me to post the pics from our visit to the Isle of Sodom?

[swamprat69er]

I'm still saddened at not finding Kinki. I guess they sacrificed her to the volcano.:wah:
There is lots of luvin' in Lulu. Just don't run out of sacks!:D

[Armistead]

That picture was from the return to Wewak trip.
The chief looked better with that big old knot on his head and the bone knocked out of his nose.:up:
I'm still saddened at not finding Kinki. I guess they sacrificed her to the volcano.:wah:

Want me to post the pics from our visit to the Isle of Sodom?

Look, I was forced to do that stuff, I only smiled in the pics hoping they thought I enjoyed it and would relent...

[swamprat69er]

Look, I was forced to do that stuff, I only smiled in the pics hoping they thought I enjoyed it and would relent...
A likely story.:har:

[Armistead]

I'm still saddened at not finding Kinki. I guess they sacrificed her to the volcano.:wah:



Did it ever occur to you after all this time she may look more like her sister now? Anyway, maybe I'm wrong and you'll lead us into combat.

[Wolferz]

Good woman:up:
Pull plow:yep:

[Armistead]

Good woman:up:
Pull plow:yep:

Well, at this stage of your life.....I'm just say'n you aren't the young man you once were....

[swamprat69er]

Well, at this stage of your life.....I'm just say'n you aren't the young man you once were....
so you can't pull your own plow.:)

[Armistead]

a 300 lb fat ugly woman at this stage of life is just what Wolferz needs......

[Aktungbby]

a 300 lb fat ugly woman at this stage of life is just what Wolferz needs......

JEEZE! Show some respect Armibby there are no 3OO lb ugly women, just steatopygic love goddesses http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/6/60/MuzeuldeistorienaturalavienaVenusBC2.JPG/200px-MuzeuldeistorienaturalavienaVenusBC2.JPG (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:MuzeuldeistorienaturalavienaVenusBC2.JPG) Revisit The 13th Warrior aka 'Eaters of the Dead' Just stay in the dark bilge with your 'eyes wide shut'....and it'll grows on ya! just don't let Padre Tango find out!:yeah:

[Armistead]

It's a cultural thing, Princess Lulu is considered a beauty in her tribe...In tribal cultures men look for big hips, shoulders, etc....

and my wife ain't the thin gal she use to be, but I actually like her better with meat on her tush.....in the dark anyway..

[nikimcbee]

a 300 lb fat ugly woman at this stage of life is just what Wolferz needs......

Pictures or it didn't happen... Okay, maybe not.:dead:

I did find the music video of the occasion though. No foolin', honest.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=URl16ETkZ08

[Wolferz]

At my age...
More cushion equals less pushin':arrgh!:

The only problems I ran into with Lulu was my sow became jealous and she got stuck in the hatch, trapping poor Armistead in the escape trunk. He couldn't eat bacon, fish, or cottage cheese for a month without retching!:dead:

FYI: Retching is Donna's special Crème Fraiche.

[Armistead]

a sow, I thought that was Swamp's butt stuck again...

[swamprat69er]

a sow, I thought that was Swamp's butt stuck again...
You do know what 'thought' did.

[Armistead]

You do know what 'thought' did.

All I saw was a hairy wrinkled pink arse with sores on it.....If it was a sow, you have my apologies, but i helped hold you down when the doc gave you a shot of antibiotics and I remember your arse quite well....

I knew we had a goat aft, so when did the sow come aboard?

[Wolferz]

I knew we had a goat aft, so when did the sow come aboard?
Pay aktung and you can sneak anything aboard.

Besides, we needed the extra ballast with that finicky ballast pump always on the fritz.
Gagula...
SNARF!:shucks:

[Tango589]

JEEZE! Show some respect Armibby there are no 3OO lb ugly women, just steatopygic love goddesses http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/6/60/MuzeuldeistorienaturalavienaVenusBC2.JPG/200px-MuzeuldeistorienaturalavienaVenusBC2.JPG (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:MuzeuldeistorienaturalavienaVenusBC2.JPG) Revisit The 13th Warrior aka 'Eaters of the Dead' Just stay in the dark bilge with your 'eyes wide shut'....and it'll grows on ya! just don't let Padre Tango find out!:yeah:
Hey, don't let me get between you and the object of your depraved lustings, who am I to judge what a man finds worthy of his desires? (just keep the pictures to yourself :Kaleun_Sick:)

[swamprat69er]

I remember your arse quite well....

WHAT were you doing? Mapping my caboose?

I knew we had a goat aft, so when did the sow come aboard?
I knew you didn't appreciate being 'with' the goat and thought you would prefer a pig, just like in port.

[Catfish]

^ Is this the "Battle of the Bilge" :hmmm:

[Armistead]

WHAT were you doing? Mapping my caboose?


I knew you didn't appreciate being 'with' the goat and thought you would prefer a pig, just like in port.

I wanna leave port to get away from my old sow...

[swamprat69er]

I wanna leave port to get away from my old sow...
Well, now you got a new sow. Just stay away from my caboose, you WILL get a shock.

[Eichhörnchen]

http://i.imgur.com/IftGRL9.png?1

mmMMMmmmm! Look at these, boys. Ask Tango if he can make you some of these beauties...

[swamprat69er]

http://i.imgur.com/IftGRL9.png?1

mmMMMmmmm! Look at these, boys. Ask Tango if he can make you some of these beauties...
Nice looking buns!
Taaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggggggg ooooooooooooooo!

[Armistead]

yes, i would like some of tango's hot sticky buns....:woot:

[Tango589]

Nice looking buns!
Taaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggggggg ooooooooooooooo!

yes, i would like some of tango's hot sticky buns....:woot:
A) I'm worried that Swamprat and Armistead are admiring my buns,
B) I haven't got any toffee sauce, Donna was seen eating it straight from the jug with a wooden spoon.

[swamprat69er]

A) I'm worried that Swamprat and Armistead are admiring my buns,

I haven't checked out your buns, but now that you mention it, I certainly will.:arrgh!:

[Tango589]

I haven't checked out your buns, but now that you mention it, I certainly will.:arrgh!:
Well, I hope you appreciate their firm, round shape, pleasing texture and cinnamon flavour.

[Armistead]

I haven't checked out your buns, but now that you mention it, I certainly will.:arrgh!:


they were great, much better than Donna's buns by far.

[Eichhörnchen]

(And were they sticky?)

[Tango589]

Only at the end.:o

[Wolferz]

The Navy has decided to decommission this old boat due to it sinking a pier by diving while still tied up to said pier.

I tried to plead our case to no avail. They didn't grasp the reasoning for a test dive while in port. We certainly didn't want to try it in deep water, that's for sure! :roll:

[swamprat69er]

The Navy has decided to decommission this old boat due to it sinking a pier by diving while still tied up to said pier.

I tried to plead our case to no avail. They didn't grasp the reasoning for a test dive while in port. We certainly didn't want to try it in deep water, that's for sure! :roll:
Maybe, just maybe they wanted us to do the test dive in deep water so they could get rid of us and call it an 'accident'.

[Wolferz]

Maybe, just maybe they wanted us to do the test dive in deep water so they could get rid of us and call it an 'accident'.

Will you go make the accusation?:rock:

Meanwhile,
Shore billets all around.

I heard they're selling these old subs to outer Slobovia. Along with a generous supply of Septic Tanks.
I hope they can tell the difference between the two.

The Slobovians have stated that as soon as they learn to use them, they're attacking Russia.

[swamprat69er]

Meanwhile,
Shore billets all around.

How is Armistead going to cope when the old sow meets the young sow from the boat?

[Wolferz]

How is Armistead going to cope when the old sow meets the young sow from the boat?

Bacon.

[swamprat69er]

Bacon.
Lots of back bacon in both of them. Canadian bacon to you 'Mericans.

[Armistead]

no boat....will they give a new one? maybe i'll get my own boat....

[swamprat69er]

https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcThXqxyupxE8L1FyTmlC47f_6l30oUCO boKjJ6Ibbpkd5yYuV0ECA

Armisteads' new boat.

[Wolferz]

That's a dinghy.:haha:

[swamprat69er]

That's a dinghy.:haha:
It is a dinky little row boat.:D

[Armistead]

Men, we have lost out boat, but we've been given a special mission. We've been given a K class WW1 sub. We will be taking the dingy row boat on board in pieces. Wolferz is gonna infiltrate Tokyo Bay where we will surface and quickly put our dingy boat together and 4 of us will dress as Japanese fisherman and row until we find a capital ship and tie up next to it. We will hide explosives in dead fish timed to go off in 1 hour. Once tied, we will swim ashore and charter another boat and meet Wolferz in the bay.

I need 3 volunteers to go with me on the fishing boat. We'll spend the next month training as we each have to lose about 100 lbs each. Also, we'll be tanning and learning some Japanese language....

It's not over men, in a few months we'll be back in action. I know everyone will want to volunteer, so we'll pick 3 men out of a hat to go with me into fame....

[Wolferz]

Why lose the weight, when you can pass yourself off as a Sumo?
http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb295/Wolferz_2007/5a6ccd2b9d7c91089f5afbf4ac138226.jpg

Plus we can get rid of the sow.:up:

I teenk we're gonna need a beeger dinghy to make room for the three volunteers.

[Armistead]

You just make sure you're at the pick up spot......

[Kaptlt.Endrass]

I need 3 volunteers to go with me on the fishing boat. We'll spend the next month training as we each have to lose about 100 lbs each. Also, we'll be tanning and learning some Japanese language....

It's not over men, in a few months we'll be back in action. I know everyone will want to volunteer, so we'll pick 3 men out of a hat to go with me into fame....

I ask my name to be included multiple times in the hat, as I have a superior set of stealth skills that make me slightly less noticable than a rainbow-colored battleship. I feel they may be of use, as well as my innate ability to burp and compliment the chef (or is that another Asian country?)

Sorry for the rather large pile of Armistead's crusty yellow socks. I've recently survived a wicked case of the flu. Now, anyone have acid resistant gloves and a gas mask? I've got to do the washing...

[Armistead]

Some reason you're the only name in the hat, probably because you didn't take shore leave. Sure everyone will want in once they return, but since you and I remained at the dock, you're in. Rest of the crew would rather partake of all the brothels and bars.

We might as well practice our rowing....

[Wolferz]

Lots of back bacon in both of them. Canadian bacon to you 'Mericans.

We call that stuff ham.

[swamprat69er]

Canadian bacon
http://cdn.thebaconpage.com/assets/images/culinary_uses_of_canadian_bacon-500x288.jpg

Back bacon

http://img.21food.com/20110609/product/1306191267878.jpg

Ham
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/6b/Schinken.jpg

[Jimbuna]

Canadian bacon
http://cdn.thebaconpage.com/assets/images/culinary_uses_of_canadian_bacon-500x288.jpg

Back bacon

http://img.21food.com/20110609/product/1306191267878.jpg



Reminds me of Pork Loins/Medallions

http://s9.postimg.org/nq6ymp04f/product_313.jpg (http://postimage.org/)

[swamprat69er]

They gotta be thick cut, at least 1/2" or so. I hate being able to read my newspaper through my bacon.

[Jimbuna]

They gotta be thick cut, at least 1/2" or so. I hate being able to read my newspaper through my bacon.

Oh I do agree...I slice the loins/medallions to at least 1" or more :yep:

[Wolferz]

Now I'm hungry.:hmmm:

[swamprat69er]

Now I'm hungry.:hmmm:
Me too. Lets eat!
I'll have a bowl of oatmeal cold/raw with milk and Maple Syrup on it.
The Maple Syrup part of it didn't happen, but we did up some blueberry jam this year and it didn't set properly so it is more like blueberry syrup and I used that instead. I only have 1.5 gallons of M.S. left for this season.

[Armistead]

I imagine most of the bilge crew is fat enough as is....Maybe lay off the ham, pancakes and syrup.

I know I've put on a few pounds and into a 36 jean, but still not bad for my age....6'1 220.

[swamprat69er]

I imagine most of the bilge crew is fat enough as is....Maybe lay off the ham, pancakes and syrup.

I know I've put on a few pounds and into a 36 jean, but still not bad for my age....6'1 220.

You will pry my maple syrup out of my cold dead fingers! I don't eat pancakes very often, I prefer my syrup on cereal.

I'm not bad for 6'4" size 44 jeans and 270 lbs. I could say it as 19.28 stone, it sounds like less.:D

[Armistead]

You will pry my maple syrup out of my cold dead fingers! I don't eat pancakes very often, I prefer my syrup on cereal.

I'm not bad for 6'4" size 44 jeans and 270 lbs. I could say it as 19.28 stone, it sounds like less.:D


well, you're a big guy, no wonder the bilge is always out of stew...

[swamprat69er]

well, you're a big guy, no wonder the bilge is always out of stew...
And that is why the capt. always makes me park in the center of the boat. Less list that way.

[Armistead]

Well, without doubt I am by far the best looking in the bilge and I still have great legs....

[fireftr18]

Well, without doubt I am by far the best looking in the bilge and I still have great legs....

I doubt that you're the best looking, mainly because I'm the best looking. Except for Donna, but she's in a category all her own and we can't even compete with her.

[Armistead]

I doubt that you're the best looking, mainly because I'm the best looking. Except for Donna, but she's in a category all her own and we can't even compete with her.

I'm by far better looking than you and even Donna.....I mean have you seen what living in the bilge has done to her.....

We'll have a contest eventually to vote for the best looking. I have no doubt victory will be mine....

[Tango589]

We'll have a contest eventually to vote for the best looking. I have no doubt victory will be mine....

Oh heck no. Wait until you see me and my svelt 6', 154 lb, 34" waist in my new cassock, Then you'll know who the winner is. Besides, I've go the Almighty on my side...:O:

[Aktungbby]

And that is why the capt. always makes me park in the center of the boat. Less list that way.

NO NO! I've got you well aft with the tar bucket-based on your vast(Recent) experience right next to me...You're in charge of recaulking leaky rivets and seams as the need arises especially after Armistead detonates the spar torpedo-:D http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/4c/Hunley-1.jpgArmistead;Kapit.Endraß;Wolfertz;Tango;FireFtr 8;Swa mprat;Aktung;Donna

[Armistead]

Oh heck no. Wait until you see me and my svelt 6', 154 lb, 34" waist in my new cassock, Then you'll know who the winner is. Besides, I've go the Almighty on my side...:O:


I can't wait to your pictures, but that tall, I would think you would have a 28 inch waist....

Anyway, I'll be doing my confession soon.....have on your new cassock..:yep:

[Aktungbby]

Oh heck no. Wait until you see me and my svelt 6', 154 lb, 34" waist in my new cassock, Then you'll know who the winner is. Besides, I've go the Almighty on my side...:O:

Well at 6' and 154 lbs...I'm a little worried in "whose image (Almightywise)you are created".... kinda' fits the description of BA'Al:oops: http://www.bible-history.com/images/baal.jpg Which is not exactly a shock given this crew's true nature! :D As for a CASSOCK!??? NO WAY PADRE! :haha:

[Armistead]

Well, I just went to Tango for confession, now where do I go to repent?:oops:

[Tango589]

I can't wait to your pictures, but that tall, I would think you would have a 28 inch waist....

Anyway, I'll be doing my confession soon.....have on your new cassock..:yep:
28 inch waist? I haven't had a 28 inch waist since god only knows when. It's not helped by the fact my good lady is a fine cook and I like to eat. It makes my midriff expand...:o


I'm a little worried in "whose image (Almightywise)you are created".... kinda' fits the description of BA'Al


Yeah, looks kind of like my figure, but slimmer round the middle!

[Armistead]

at 6 ft and 154 lbs you better not have a rubber tire belly....

anyway, be my last confession for awhile. would be nice if you could find another booth other than the head, having wolferz sitting there farting and laughing as i confessed was a lil awkward....and i swear at one time he was rubbing my leg....

[Wolferz]

at 6 ft and 154 lbs you better not have a rubber tire belly....

anyway, be my last confession for awhile. would be nice if you could find another booth other than the head, having wolferz sitting there farting and laughing as i confessed was a lil awkward....and i swear at one time he was rubbing my leg....


I'm just glad that you shaved them.:up:

The silk stockings were a nice touch too.

[Armistead]

I'm just glad that you shaved them.:up:

The silk stockings were a nice touch too.

well, i thought i should look and smell nice for my confession, but my stockings got ruined when i got on my knees before tango and made payment for my sin...we've got to get fire in there to scrub the layers of urine off that floor and repaint. i suggest a yellow color this time...cleanliness is our confession booth should be required.

the condom machine was also out......

may i suggest that you go back to your capt. quarters? don't think it's right for our political and religious power be combined in one spot....

[swamprat69er]

my stockings got ruined when i got on my knees before tango and made payment for my sin.
Now that is a scary thought!:hmmm:

[Armistead]

Now that is a scary thought!:hmmm:


don't worry, when you kneel, he isn't facing you, but with each sin you have to kiss his arse {have you seen the head lately} and he doesn't bathe while in his priest role, some ritual I guess.

Now, do be careful when you bow and kiss Wolferz's ring and Tango's behind you...

[Aktungbby]

The silk stockings were a nice touch too. I'm worried about the (worn-out) knee pads myself...that musta' been a looooong session groveling in front of Padre Tango-just to get off with an ECCLESIASTIC slap on the wrist and a Hail Mary!:03:

don't think it's right for our political and religious power be combined in one spot.... http://www.luminarium.org/renlit/henry8parham.jpg You're probably right about that! "Absolute power corrupts....absolutely" Especially when they're wearin' silk stockings!:woot:

[Tango589]

Now, do be careful when you bow and kiss Wolferz's ring and Tango's behind you...Yeah, coz I might just do to you what the (now mysteriously disappeared) Father Randy did to me with his oil-can!:timeout:

[Armistead]

Yeah, coz I might just do to you what the (now mysteriously disappeared) Father Randy did to me with his oil-can!:timeout:

so that was an oil can....frankly, I feel a lil relieved..

[Armistead]

I'm worried about the (worn-out) knee pads myself...that musta' been a looooong session groveling in front of Padre Tango-just to get off with an ECCLESIASTIC slap on the wrist and a Hail Mary!:03:

http://www.luminarium.org/renlit/henry8parham.jpg You're probably right about that! "Absolute power corrupts....absolutely" Especially when they're wearin' silk stockings!:woot:




Oh Zod, I bow before thee..

[Wolferz]

Oh Zod, I bow before thee..

I like the hat but, the rest is only regulation Navy wear for the WAVES.

You can still wear your stockings under your khakis. Or are those (in Japanese voice) reotards?

[Armistead]

Well, may I wear my red xmas stockings with my Khaki shorts? In fact, I think we all should in Dec?

I'm also requesting to be Santa this year for our bilge Christmas party.

[fireftr18]

well, i thought i should look and smell nice for my confession, but my stockings got ruined when i got on my knees before tango and made payment for my sin...we've got to get fire in there to scrub the layers of urine off that floor and repaint. i suggest a yellow color this time...cleanliness is our confession booth should be required.

the condom machine was also out......

may i suggest that you go back to your capt. quarters? don't think it's right for our political and religious power be combined in one spot....

I'll take charge of that. We have plenty of newbies to do the job. :D

[Wolferz]

Well, may I wear my red xmas stockings with my Khaki shorts? In fact, I think we all should in Dec?

I'm also requesting to be Santa this year for our bilge Christmas party.

Granted!



http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb295/Wolferz_2007/badsanta.png

You make the best Santa ever!

[Aktungbby]

Well, may I wear my red xmas stockings with my Khaki shorts? In fact, I think we all should in Dec?

I'm also requesting to be Santa this year for our bilge Christmas party.

Granted
You make the best Santa ever!
I think you've got the job nailed:D http://www.snopes.com/holidays/graphics/santacross2.jpg
http://www.snopes.com/holidays/christmas/santacross.asp (http://www.snopes.com/holidays/christmas/santacross.asp) ...by way of explanation!:nope:

[Wolferz]

You're always number one in our book, Armistead.
No need to remind us.:D

Yes, I saw it before the morality police stepped in:haha:
But, hey, rules are rules.:shucks:

Did the stone hurt when it bounced off your cranium?:doh:

[Armistead]

Oh Boy! I'll really dress up nice all each of you can sit on my lap and tell me what you want! I'll have a large candy cane for each of you.......

[Tango589]

Have we got a chimney for Santa to come down?

[swamprat69er]

Have we got a chimney for Santa to come down?
How about this?
http://i261.photobucket.com/albums/ii61/swamprat69er/cominisionerstreetsmokestack-82a_zps9342e084.jpg

[Tango589]

I know it's traditional (in the UK at least) to leave a mince pie and a drop of scotch for Santa and a carrot for Rudolph, but here in the Bilge, do you think he'll be ok with a drop of Bilge Brew a bowl of steaming hot stew?

[swamprat69er]

I know it's traditional (in the UK at least) to leave a mince pie and a drop of scotch for Santa and a carrot for Rudolph, but here in the Bilge, do you think he'll be ok with a drop of Bilge Brew a bowl of steaming hot stew?
The hot stew would warm the cockles of his heart.:) He would probably drink anything with alcohol in it.

[Tango589]

He would probably drink anything with alcohol in it.That'll explain why his nose and cheeks are rosy red.:hmmm:

[Aktungbby]

The hot stew would warm the cockles of his heart.:) He would probably drink anything with alcohol in it.

Especially at Armistead's li'l dogpatch! " ya' better not shout; ya' better not pout" translates to " ya better be still"! :woot: http://www.old-picture.com/united-states-history-1900s---1930s/pictures/Moonshine-Still.jpg

[swamprat69er]

Especially at Armistead's li'l dogpatch! " ya' better not shout; ya' better not pout" translates to " ya better be still"! :woot: http://www.old-picture.com/united-states-history-1900s---1930s/pictures/Moonshine-Still.jpg
Nice still! Are you giving out samples?:D

[Armistead]

Nice still! Are you giving out samples?:D


Yes, I'm giving out samples....

[swamprat69er]

Yes, I'm giving out samples....
Does everyone in your neck of the woods have a still in their back yard?
Or is it only people with a good creek running through?

[Armistead]

Does everyone in your neck of the woods have a still in their back yard?
Or is it only people with a good creek running through?

Honestly, still a lot around, most people have a quart or two in the house, but no one knows exactly where it comes from:D

[Wolferz]

Honestly, still a lot around, most people have a quart or two in the house, but no one knows exactly where it comes from:D

Rookies.:O:
In Kentucky you find those old ring neck gallon jugs.
Let me tell ya, that shine burns all the way down.:huh:

[Armistead]

Rookies.:O:
In Kentucky you find those old ring neck gallon jugs.
Let me tell ya, that shine burns all the way down.:huh:

Don't see it sold much by the gallon anymore, gets expensive and most prefer to buy it a quart at a time, but I'm sure it can be special ordered..:D

[Armistead]

True story, my brother and his friend sold moonshine in high school, pot as well. His friend lived on a big farm, but they got their shine from some indian.

They finally decided to build a still and were getting the parts together. My brother had a trunk of shine in his big 69 Olds Delta 455/Rocket and had a cop light him up. He freaked and ran, ended up wrecking very badly over an embankment and totaled the large car. The car caught on fire at the gas tank and burned it up, shine included...and he was never charged with it, nor do I recall it being an issue. He broke his back in two places...

A few days later the ATF raided the farm. That was a separate issue from someone that told on them at school, but they didn't find enough to arrest.

They towed my brothers car to some lot. While in the hospital he told me he had packed his air cleaner with pot and to go get it. I did go, can't remember the rules, but was allowed to get to his car and actually got several bags of pot out.

He healed up pretty good overall and got religion for awhile after that...

[swamprat69er]

I was thinking it would make good gasline antifreeze.:sunny:

[Armistead]

I was thinking it would make good gasline antifreeze.:sunny:


hehe, no one i know ever used moonshine to run their car or haul it at about $100 plus per gallon...However, if you ran out of gas and had some.......

[swamprat69er]

It would be good antifreeze for my gasline.
The closest I came to shine was Newfie Skreech and it was powerful stuff.

[Aktungbby]

He healed up pretty good overall and got religion for awhile after that...
AHAH! Now we know who posted this note over Tango's sin dropbox next to Wolferz's head! Donna's mystic Bilgebrew just wasn't enough!
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2012/06/03/article-0-136BD692000005DC-985_634x423.jpg

[fireftr18]

Rookies.:O:
In Kentucky you find those old ring neck gallon jugs.
Let me tell ya, that shine burns all the way down.:huh:

I had some of that crap.
:Kaleun_Sick:
Lately, I've had some people made, not to sell, but just for themselves, and it was incredibly good. It rivaled some of the best bourbon I've had. :()1:
:Kaleun_Cheers:

[swamprat69er]

According to Popcorn Sutton (he's dead now), if you double distill it, it'll be smoother.
https://www.youtube.com/redirect?q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3 Fv%3Dj7CFGG1PWr4&redir_token=hTd_a6HpEMabzLrNAegeHk2FdWx8MTQxNjgwNj MzNEAxNDE2NzE5OTM0

[Jimbuna]

It would be good antifreeze for my gasline.
The closest I came to shine was Newfie Skreech and it was powerful stuff.

Closest I ever came was a couple of bottles of Betonovs mead schnapps at the York SubSim Meet a couple of months ago. (notice the empty bottle in the lower right and the next one for consumption upper left).

http://s3.postimg.org/xumyw4z0z/IMAG0228.jpg (http://postimage.org/)

[Tango589]

Could we set up a still in the new tub when we get it?

[swamprat69er]

Closest I ever came was a couple of bottles of Betonovs mead schnapps at the York SubSim Meet a couple of months ago. (notice the empty bottle in the lower right and the next one for consumption upper left).

http://s3.postimg.org/xumyw4z0z/IMAG0228.jpg (http://postimage.org/)
Why did you put the full bottle so far away? You would have to stand up to get it.

[Jimbuna]

Why did you put the full bottle so far away? You would have to stand up to get it.

Nah, my minions Betonov, Herr-Berbunch and TarJak were in the room ready to do my bidding :)

[swamprat69er]

Nah, my minions Betonov, Herr-Berbunch and TarJak were in the room ready to do my bidding :)

?minions? Is that a posh English word for slaves?

[Jimbuna]

?minions? Is that a posh English word for slaves?

Yeah, you could say that :)

Minion: a servile follower or subordinate of a person in power.

[Armistead]

Could we set up a still in the new tub when we get it?

Wolferz don't even allow us an ice cream maker, so I doubt it...

[Tango589]

We need to do something about Wolferz

*not inciting anything cough cough*

[Armistead]

We need to do something about Wolferz

*not inciting anything cough cough*

I wouldn't incite the men to mutiny and haven't put much thought into it. They're few possibilities to consider, Section 472; Article 5712-010 of the Naval Military Personnel Manual for starters. It may be possible a doctor can outrank the captain and force him to be relieved of duty due to physical or psychological illnesses or illusions.

As a hobby, I've studied several cases, for instance the case of the USS Caine, Capt. Quegg Cmd. Officer was relieved of command by his crew and the crew was found not guilty.

Back in WWI I thought of bringing charges against Wolferz when we were home, but I was in the hospital for months suffering from a relapse of monkey herpes and wasn't able.

I think if a Doc would get involved and all the boats officers were in agreement, there would have a chance to relieve the cmd. officer, but that's not to say openly that applies to Wolferz. Hypothetically, could the following apply to Wolferz - Rigidity of personality, feelings of persecution, unreasonable suspicion, a mania for perfection, and a neurotic certainty that he is always in the right?

All failing, the worse to be faced would be court martial and hanging. Men in a BAD situation would have to decide what is worse...

Hypothetically, If I was to find myself being asked to replace the commanding officer, I would consider it my duty as next in command and think I would lead my crew and boat into fame.

[Aktungbby]

We need to do something about Wolferz

*not inciting anything cough cough*

I nominate Jimbuna our King Rat Emeritushttp://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/b/bc/King_Rat_%281962_novel%29.jpg/220px-King_Rat_%281962_novel%29.jpg (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:King_Rat_(1962_novel).jpg):D He obviously leads from the front and he'll have us hunting( Operation Monsun?) off the coast of Thailand in no time at all!!! BBY We'll need an operational condom machine methinks:har:http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/picture.php?albumid=767&pictureid=7639

[Armistead]

Jimbuna has never joined the bilge, he's not a member, nor a former rat.
Now, if he wants to join our ranks, go through the proper rituals, then I don't have a problem of him being a member. However, I don't think that puts him above me or that he would be a better leader than I.

Before this silly idea goes any further, Jimbuna would have to request membership...

[Aktungbby]

Rest of the crew would rather partake of all the brothels and bars. We might as well practice our rowing....
You need a better laptop!:haha:
Well, I just went to Tango for confession, now where do I go to repent?:oops: You actually will repent in the 'delinquent" BILGE???!:hmmm:

Nah, my minions Betonov, Herr-Berbunch and TarJak were in the room ready to do my bidding :) Rank hath it's privileges! And they can be pretty RANK!:03:

Jimbuna has never joined the bilge, he's not a member, nor a former rat.
Now, if he wants to join our ranks, go through the proper rituals, then I don't have a problem of him being a member. However, I don't think that puts him above me or that he would be a better leader than I.

Before this silly idea goes any further, Jimbuna would have to request membership...
Well of course! but as you pointed out, I have to obey orders as COB under you:salute: so 'minionship' is hardly a foreign concept...I was not a former rat, nor Endrass, and Jimbuna's RITUALS appear....interesting to say the least! :woot:

[Armistead]

You need a better laptop!:haha:
You actually will repent in the 'delinquent" BILGE???!:hmmm:

Rank hath it's privileges! And they can be pretty RANK!:03:


Well of course! but as you pointed out, I have to obey orders as COB under you:salute: so 'minionship' is hardly a foreign concept...I was not a former rat, nor Endrass, and Jimbuna's RITUALS appear....interesting to say the least! :woot:


I find your outright disloyalty to Wolferz deploring. To even suggest a non bilge member as our leader before he's even applied to be a rat. I haven't attacked Wolferz, except to say if his physical or mental health became a problem, I would gladly step into command....

Jimbuna may be interesting, but he stands for everything we're against. I understand the desire to taste something new and strange, but I have always stood behind you and the other men....

I've always been second to Wolferz, if chance arises, I think I am the most qualified to lead the bilge and deserve the chance to prove myself as the front man...

Also, if Jim wants to join the rats, then he would have to give up his moderator status and start on the bottom again! That's up to him....

[swamprat69er]

Also, if Jim wants to join the rats, then he would have to give up his moderator status and start on the bottom again! That's up to him....
I think that Jim prefers the top.

[Aktungbby]

Also, if Jim wants to join the rats, then he would have to give up his moderator status and start on the bottom again! That's up to him.... JEEZE quit givn' away the plot, ya bugger!:/\\!! I specifically said 'emeritus' not 'defacto!:know: :03:

[Buddahaid]

Did somebody say rats?
http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/19/64/b3/1964b3d2dc48f30076abac8ba6aa9a8e.jpg

When is a man like a piece of wood?

[fireftr18]

I think I'll just stay in my corner and keep drinking.

:Kaleun_Cheers:

[Armistead]

I think I'll just stay in my corner and keep drinking.

:Kaleun_Cheers:


Stand in the corner with your butt to the wall, it's why you've never been promoted to higher rank....

[Armistead]

I'm getting close to my 10,000th post. I think I should get a reward from the bilge!

[swamprat69er]

Phtttttttttttttttt! There is your reward.

[Buddahaid]

Did somebody say rats?
http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/19/64/b3/1964b3d2dc48f30076abac8ba6aa9a8e.jpg

When is a man like a piece of wood?

When he is a ruler. Long live King Rat.

[Eichhörnchen]

At this time of year, when we usually are inclined to have much more cake and pastries and suchlike around for the festive season, and the weather turns cold and with all the starving little birds hopping around in the garden and stuff, I'd like to warn of the danger of attracting unwanted rats into your garden by the careless distribution of leftover titbits outside.

http://i.imgur.com/OgQsNuy.png?1

Try instead to use a dedicated bird-table or some other properly constructed feeding-station (but do also avoid those which are designed to exclude squirrels).

[Aktungbby]

http://i1.wp.com/listverse.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/rat-king.jpg?resize=550%2C445

http://us.cdn2.123rf.com/168nwm/vectorshots/vectorshots1210/vectorshots121000204/15759404-scary-and-spooky-rat-vector.jpg

... unwanted rats... .
http://i.imgur.com/OgQsNuy.png?1

'UNWANTED Rats' is redundant
:D

[Armistead]

Try instead to use a dedicated bird-table or some other properly constructed feeding-station (but do also avoid those which are designed to exclude squirrels).

"Squirrels gotta eat same as birds" - Clint Westwood

[Eichhörnchen]

http://www.sherv.net/cm/emoticons/bad/nose-pick-booger-smiley-emoticon.gif

[Tango589]

You dirty little sod, it's not a mid-face food dispenser!

[Eichhörnchen]

Oooops! Caught me: I just popped down here to remove that...

[Jimbuna]

I nominate Jimbuna our King Rat Emeritushttp://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/b/bc/King_Rat_%281962_novel%29.jpg/220px-King_Rat_%281962_novel%29.jpg (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:King_Rat_(1962_novel).jpg):D He obviously leads from the front and he'll have us hunting( Operation Monsun?) off the coast of Thailand in no time at all!!! BBY We'll need an operational condom machine methinks:har:http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/picture.php?albumid=767&pictureid=7639

:har::har::har:

Jimbuna has never joined the bilge, he's not a member, nor a former rat.
Now, if he wants to join our ranks, go through the proper rituals, then I don't have a problem of him being a member. However, I don't think that puts him above me or that he would be a better leader than I.

Before this silly idea goes any further, Jimbuna would have to request membership...

No thanks, I think I'll just hang on to the keys to the scuttling charges should they ever be needed :smug:



Jimbuna may be interesting, but he stands for everything we're against. I understand the desire to taste something new and strange, but I have always stood behind you and the other men....



Being at the rear I'm sure you've often had the opportunity to taste many things 'new and strange' :o:)

I think that Jim prefers the top.

Rgr that...crap only roles downhill :)

[Eichhörnchen]

Did somebody say rats?

http://i.imgur.com/7kbO6sa.png?1


N-i-i-i-ce...!

[Armistead]

Jim, I understand your conflicts, but you do seem like rat material. We do have a small group of rats that like to keep their status hidden called the "Sewer Rats." These rats work behind the scenes to promote our agenda to takeover forums. If you're interested, send Wolferz a PM....

Starting on the bottom isn't that bad. We all started there at one time. Things loosen up after a while and the atmosphere isn't all that bad. Plus, you get a free bilge oil can being an "open" member

[Wolferz]

Just be careful when Armistead asks you to turn your head and cough Captain Queeg style.:huh:

[Armistead]

Just be careful when Armistead asks you to turn your head and cough Captain Queeg style.:huh:

How bout we get on with a patrol....We can install a intercom system in the head for you to give orders and Tango can go 1MC during confessions...

[Aktungbby]

Just be careful when Armistead asks you to turn your head and cough Captain Queeg style.:huh:

I wouldn't think it necessary to explain 'buggery and the lash' to a BRIT!:huh: :O: ATTN ARMIBBY Congrats on your 10,000th post ...and you saved it for your brethren of the bilge !!!:Kaleun_Party: :Kaleun_Crying::Kaleun_Applaud::Kaleun_Cheers: SPLICE THE MAINBRACE

[Armistead]

I wouldn't think it necessary to explain 'buggery and the lash' to a BRIT!:huh: :O: ATTN ARMIBBY Congrats on your 10,000th post ...and you saved it for your brethren of the bilge !!!:Kaleun_Party: :Kaleun_Crying::Kaleun_Applaud::Kaleun_Cheers: SPLICE THE MAINBRACE

Thanks Aktung for noticing and it's no big deal, but I have a few people to thank and a few words to say. I didn’t even prepare anything, but thank you.

Firstly, I have to thank Ubisoft, without whom I wouldn't be here today. Many years ago when my wife was thin and sex was enjoyable, she walked in a few weeks before Christmas and asked me did I want my one gift early. I said yes and she handed me a Best Buy bag. Opening, I found a PC game called SH4. I knew she had purchased it in the discount bin by the receipt, but I didn't care, I loved sub games. I installed in on my PC and started my first patrol and the game crashed. I fought and struggled with it and finally joined the Ubisoft forum for answers. I was told I really needed SH4 Gold, so I went back to playing Delta Force for a few years.

It was later while shopping I just happened to see SH4 Gold for $5, so I got it and went back to the Ubi forums with numerous questions. I was told I need mods, so Dl'ed those and started playing. I fell madly in love with TMO and started playing in earnest. This often made my wife mad as I cancelled our weekly Sat. love making session. It was during this time, I made my first online friend, a guy named Wern, followed soon by others, Wolferz, Fire, Captgeo, Moose, Swamp, Bubble, Tambor {thanks for all the books BTW} Cel, Fart, Bigdog, too many to mention, so sorry if I didn't mention your name. I'll make a complete list later and post it. I was voted most beloved member at Ubisoft for 3 years....

I started entering the Ubisoft SS contest and soon became a force to be reckoned with. In time, I became the all time winner in history. This caused a lot of jealousy amongst the members, so they cancelled the contest.

As years passed, I formed numerous friendships and later found and joined Subsim. It seemed to be the better forum, but had several uptight moderators, so I stayed mostly among my close friends at Ubi. Well, Ubi went to the crapper and slowly our band of misfits, led by Wolferz came to Subsim. We or he elected himself as leader in 2008 and started the Ubirats. Let it be known we were not welcomed at first and often at odds with numerous moderators who threatened us with warnings, infractions, and even threw a few of us in the brig. However, we wore it as a badge of honor. It was then we came up with the concept of the "Bilge"....I think I came up with it and Wolferz used it... It was in the bilge I found myself.

So here we are, years later and I passed the 10,000 post mark. No, I desire no attention for myself, being good looking and smart, I get enough of that in real life. Anything I am here, I owe to the Bilge and its members that have stood behind me through the years, so thank you all again.

I would also like to thank my dog, a loyal companion, unlike my wife. She's really been more a pain in the ass than Swamp....She's never understood my desire to roam in fantasy the seas and relive the numerous battles of old.....and her constant nagging that the deck gun was too loud....

I would also like to know what happened to my buddy Wern, ....my Wern, left us with no remarks, deleted all his SS's.....I guess he finally had enuf..

Anyways, I don't want to get long winded, just a brief thank you for making me a daily part of your life. I really do feel the bilge could go places if we were properly led as we once were...I would like to lead us, but for some reason I'm always passed over....

Ending, as we move forward, let us look to better days, let us seek glory again...

You like me....You really like me!
http://i651.photobucket.com/albums/uu235/Armistead1424/Armistead1424106/dd2c41ae-ecc3-46dc-90fb-ec805e77a0ef_zpsc048e548.jpg



{The above picture is copyrighted. Please do not use for personal perversion, posting it as yourself on FB to get girls, wallpaper, making calendars, etc...I will send you a framed picture for $200, signed of course..}

[fireftr18]

Stand in the corner with your butt to the wall, it's why you've never been promoted to higher rank....

Some say I'm rank enough.

[Wolferz]

Thanks Aktung for noticing and it's no big deal, but I have a few people to thank and a few words to say. I didn’t even prepare anything, but thank you.

Firstly, I have to thank Ubisoft, without whom I wouldn't be here today. Many years ago when my wife was thin and sex was enjoyable, she walked in a few weeks before Christmas and asked me did I want my one gift early. I said yes and she handed me a Best Buy bag. Opening, I found a PC game called SH4. I knew she had purchased it in the discount bin by the receipt, but I didn't care, I loved sub games. I installed in on my PC and started my first patrol and the game crashed. I fought and struggled with it and finally joined the Ubisoft forum for answers. I was told I really needed SH4 Gold, so I went back to playing Delta Force for a few years.

It was later while shopping I just happened to see SH4 Gold for $5, so I got it and went back to the Ubi forums with numerous questions. I was told I need mods, so Dl'ed those and started playing. I fell madly in love with TMO and started playing in earnest. This often made my wife mad as I cancelled our weekly Sat. love making session. It was during this time, I made my first online friend, a guy named Wern, followed soon by others, Wolferz, Fire, Captgeo, Moose, Swamp, Bubble, Tambor {thanks for all the books BTW} Cel, Fart, Bigdog, too many to mention, so sorry if I didn't mention your name. I'll make a complete list later and post it. I was voted most beloved member at Ubisoft for 3 years....

I started entering the Ubisoft SS contest and soon became a force to be reckoned with. In time, I became the all time winner in history. This caused a lot of jealousy amongst the members, so they cancelled the contest.

As years passed, I formed numerous friendships and later found and joined Subsim. It seemed to be the better forum, but had several uptight moderators, so I stayed mostly among my close friends at Ubi. Well, Ubi went to the crapper and slowly our band of misfits, led by Wolferz came to Subsim. We or he elected himself as leader in 2008 and started the Ubirats. Let it be known we were not welcomed at first and often at odds with numerous moderators who threatened us with warnings, infractions, and even threw a few of us in the brig. However, we wore it as a badge of honor. It was then we came up with the concept of the "Bilge"....I think I came up with it and Wolferz used it... It was in the bilge I found myself.

So here we are, years later and I passed the 10,000 post mark. No, I desire no attention for myself, being good looking and smart, I get enough of that in real life. Anything I am here, I owe to the Bilge and its members that have stood behind me through the years, so thank you all again.

I would also like to thank my dog, a loyal companion, unlike my wife. She's really been more a pain in the ass than Swamp....She's never understood my desire to roam in fantasy the seas and relive the numerous battles of old.....and her constant nagging that the deck gun was too loud....

I would also like to know what happened to my buddy Wern, ....my Wern, left us with no remarks, deleted all his SS's.....I guess he finally had enuf..

Anyways, I don't want to get long winded, just a brief thank you for making me a daily part of your life. I really do feel the bilge could go places if we were properly led as we once were...I would like to lead us, but for some reason I'm always passed over....

Ending, as we move forward, let us look to better days, let us seek glory again...

You like me....You really like me!
http://i651.photobucket.com/albums/uu235/Armistead1424/Armistead1424106/dd2c41ae-ecc3-46dc-90fb-ec805e77a0ef_zpsc048e548.jpg



{The above picture is copyrighted. Please do not use for personal perversion, posting it as yourself on FB to get girls, wallpaper, making calendars, etc...I will send you a framed picture for $200, signed of course..}

Your little black nose is cute, though I have to wonder how many butts it's sniffed. Please tell us, where did you find such an ugly dog?:o

For our fellow Bilge Rats...
Don't step in that.

[Armistead]

Some say I'm rank enough.

right.....

remember, per our last meeting, we consider all the ....smells and textures.... in the bilge as ambience, not odor or goo...

[Armistead]

Your little black nose is cute, though I have to wonder how many butts it's sniffed. Please tell us, where did you find such an ugly dog?:o

For our fellow Bilge Rats...
Don't step in that.

Shame on you! Sorry for the brief uttered thank you, but I'm working on a complete speech and will release it when completed...

[Tango589]

I wouldn't think it necessary to explain 'buggery and the lash' to a BRIT!:huh: :O: ATTN ARMIBBY Congrats on your 10,000th post ...and you saved it for your brethren of the bilge !!!:Kaleun_Party: :Kaleun_Crying::Kaleun_Applaud::Kaleun_Cheers: SPLICE THE MAINBRACE

Aktung, you forgot the RUM!:shifty:

How bout we get on with a patrol....We can install a intercom system in the head for you to give orders and Tango can go 1MC during confessions...
I strongly object to my Confessions being broadcast boat-wide, due to reasons of privacy, prevention of embarrassment and general decency.

[swamprat69er]

Armistead, I finally got recognized in the Bilge for something. You call me a p.i.t.a? That is okay with me.....Call me anything you want, but don't call me late for supper.

[Eichhörnchen]

Dear Armistead,

Here is a nice anniversary cake to celebrate your 100th post. As usual, I can't open your picture-links up here, so I'll have to remain as ignorant of your lusty good-looks as I am of Kim Kardashian's (whoever she is)

http://i.imgur.com/5v2Puat.png?1


PS/ don't let Tango have any: he's been trying to get me in trouble...

Yours, E

[Jimbuna]

Jim, I understand your conflicts, but you do seem like rat material. We do have a small group of rats that like to keep their status hidden called the "Sewer Rats." These rats work behind the scenes to promote our agenda to takeover forums. If you're interested, send Wolferz a PM....

Starting on the bottom isn't that bad. We all started there at one time. Things loosen up after a while and the atmosphere isn't all that bad. Plus, you get a free bilge oil can being an "open" member

On the contrary, I'm of far more use on the outside keeping those nasty moderators who would have the bilge thread closed down at bay.

For my continued support you need merely send me $10,000 dollars in used notes contained within a plain brown unmarked packet via my PM box :smug:

[Armistead]

On the contrary, I'm of far more use on the outside keeping those nasty moderators who would have the bilge thread closed down at bay.

For my continued support you need merely send me $10,000 dollars in used notes contained within a plain brown unmarked packet via my PM box :smug:

Well, you've always been supportive of the rats. We would love your continued support, but we lack the funds right now. I checked the coffee can and we're down to $2.45.

I will check with Wolferz and see if we can come up with some ideas to make some money to get you paid. Maybe we'll do another car wash or another bilge pie sale.. Until then, please feel free to use our confession booth....and partake of free meals in the galley...

http://i615.photobucket.com/albums/tt240/stuffthatmakesmechuckle/bikini_car_wash.jpg (http://media.photobucket.com/user/stuffthatmakesmechuckle/media/bikini_car_wash.jpg.html)

[Armistead]

Aktung, you forgot the RUM!:shifty:


I strongly object to my Confessions being broadcast boat-wide, due to reasons of privacy, prevention of embarrassment and general decency.

{If Jim comes into the confession booth, please take pictures and record the session....we may need this info later}

[Jimbuna]

Well, you've always been supportive of the rats. We would love your continued support, but we lack the funds right now. I checked the coffee can and we're down to $2.45.

I will check with Wolferz and see if we can come up with some ideas to make some money to get you paid. Maybe we'll do another car wash or another bilge pie sale.. Until then, please feel free to use our confession booth....and partake of free meals in the galley...

http://i615.photobucket.com/albums/tt240/stuffthatmakesmechuckle/bikini_car_wash.jpg (http://media.photobucket.com/user/stuffthatmakesmechuckle/media/bikini_car_wash.jpg.html)

{If Jim comes into the confession booth, please take pictures and record the session....we may need this info later}

Best laugh of the day so far :har:

[Tango589]

{If Jim comes into the confession booth, please take pictures and record the session....we may need this info later}
Rgr that, confession cam is a go-situation.

[Armistead]

Rgr that, confession cam is a go-situation.

Roger that, just don't stream it live on our .99 per minute webcast....just hang on to it....meaning, the tape..

[Wolferz]

Shame on you! Sorry for the brief uttered thank you, but I'm working on a complete speech and will release it when completed...

Shame on me for not extolling the privilege of your company?

:doh::rotfl2::har::haha:

Getting the strange feeling of Deja Vu here. All of us who have stood behind you all these years are very thankful to the inventors of clothes pins and nose plugs.:up:

10,000 posts is a worthy achievement but, it only shows a proclivity for quantity over quality.:woot:

Don't worry Armistead ol' buddy, ol' pal o' mine. Your rise in rank may be closer than you like. Though I fail to see how you could get much ranker.
I digress.
Not to make this about me but, I don't know how much longer I'll be shuffling this mortal coil before I shuffle it off. I've been living on borrowed time for quite awhile now.

If only the doctor could figure out the problem...
http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb295/Wolferz_2007/5525_Snot250.jpg

It' snot funny.
PS:
I think Donna made your morning coffee with my neti pot. It's oddly missing from my quarters.

[Aktungbby]

Well' we'll miss you but not for some considerable time I trust, o' my Kapitän! I've already got a replacement for Donna who is absent- without-leave- she's witty, charming, can pole-dance on the sub's plumbing and in crash dives, can really bring the bow down in a hurry as she dashes to the forward torpedo room to assist Armistead with the string pulling on the spar torp...at least she'll keep the sequence right!:huh:-don't let Kranz see this... he'll become fixated on her beauty...best to avoid her 'mortal coil' though -she's a killer and she's got better tattoos than Jimbuna! BRUNHILDA https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/8f/f9/b8/8ff9b88144d56be44ce2bdbba48c7218.jpg

[Armistead]

Well' we'll miss you but not for some considerable time I trust, o' my Kapitän! I've already got a replacement for Donna who is absent- without-leave- she's witty, charming, can pole-dance on the sub's plumbing and in crash dives, can really bring the bow down in a hurry as she dashes to the forward torpedo room to assist Armistead with the string pulling on the spar torp...at least she'll keep the sequence right!:huh:-don't let Kranz see this... he'll become fixated on her beauty...best to avoid her 'mortal coil' though -she's a killer and she's got better tattoos than Jimbuna! BRUNHILDA https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/8f/f9/b8/8ff9b88144d56be44ce2bdbba48c7218.jpg

You dumbass, that's Swamp back a few years ago when we picked him up in Norfolk and got him to sign up.

I would know those inner thighs anywhere....

[Aktungbby]

Aktung, you forgot the RUM!:shifty:


I strongly object to my Confessions being broadcast boat-wide, due to reasons of privacy, prevention of embarrassment and general decency. Well we'll make that right!https://www.pussers.com/Images/rum/pussers-pennant.jpg Beware if Armistead comes to confession and tries to mix aft-o'glide into the grog...your chainmail celice and hairshirt will only hold up for so long; the camera is for your protection:O:
For what it's worth, grog was invented by ADM Vernon(Old Grog)"be every day mixed with the proportion of a quart of water to a half pint of rum, to be mixed in a scuttled butt kept for that purpose, and to be done upon the deck, and in the presence of the Lieutenant of the Watch who is to take particular care to see that the men are not defrauded in having their full allowance of rum... and let those that are good husband men receive extra lime juice and sugar that it be made more palatable to them." https://www.pussers.com/Images/rum/admiral-vernon.jpg
THIS has had a serious side effect to history: George Washington's older brother, Larry, had served under the Admiral (minion?) and named the estate-Mount Vernon-a smart move, as the Brits did not burn it along with the White House in the War of 1812,:up: and that's some serious scuttlebutt> so in gratitude to our Brit bilge brethrenhttps://www.pussers.com/Images/rum/grog-tub.jpg <a serious scuttlebutt:up:

[Wolferz]

Armistead,
Did your current flame eat a Hooters girl to get that top?:timeout:
I hope that the old urban myth about big girls knowing how to cook is true.
That one appears to have eating down to a science.

Methinks lead would make for better ballast. Cooking is to be determined. At least we'll have extra room for rum by getting rid of all the lard in the larder.
Oh, good news, your request for a reinforced bunk has been approved.:up:

[Armistead]

Armistead,
Did your current flame eat a Hooters girl to get that top?:timeout:
I hope that the old urban myth about big girls knowing how to cook is true.
That one appears to have eating down to a science.

Methinks lead would make for better ballast. Cooking is to be determined. At least we'll have extra room for rum by getting rid of all the lard in the larder.
Oh, good news, your request for a reinforced bunk has been approved.:up:

Yea, but we have to carry lead, this is ballast on foot....

Thanks for the bunk, I gave my old one to Fire and have been using yours while you've been meditating in the head...If you ever come out, I've already flipped the mattress twice.....

[Wolferz]

Yea, but we have to carry lead, this is ballast on foot....

Thanks for the bunk, I gave my old one to Fire and have been using yours while you've been meditating in the head...If you ever come out, I've already flipped the mattress twice.....

I know that enuresis is a heart breaking condition. You have our deepest sympathies and understanding. Perhaps you'll grow out of it one of these days.
I'm sure the FNG in charge of laundry will celebrate that day.
Please be sure to send that mattress out for steam cleaning. I'm almost done with my meditations.:D

[Armistead]

I know that enuresis is a heart breaking condition. You have our deepest sympathies and understanding. Perhaps you'll grow out of it one of these days.
I'm sure the FNG in charge of laundry will celebrate that day.
Please be sure to send that mattress out for steam cleaning. I'm almost done with my meditations.:D

We, the crew and I, are very excited to hear what great words of wisdom you have to share with us months after your spiritual hiatus in the head...I really didn't understand this, but now I see, it was to prepare us for our upcoming patrol.....

We await your amazing new founded words of wisdom....

Oh, I got rid of your bunk and made us bunkbeds so we can share your office. Do I get the bottom or top.....?

[fireftr18]

Shame on me for not extolling the privilege of your company?

:doh::rotfl2::har::haha:

Getting the strange feeling of Deja Vu here. All of us who have stood behind you all these years are very thankful to the inventors of clothes pins and nose plugs.:up:

10,000 posts is a worthy achievement but, it only shows a proclivity for quantity over quality.:woot:

Don't worry Armistead ol' buddy, ol' pal o' mine. Your rise in rank may be closer than you like. Though I fail to see how you could get much ranker.
I digress.
Not to make this about me but, I don't know how much longer I'll be shuffling this mortal coil before I shuffle it off. I've been living on borrowed time for quite awhile now.

If only the doctor could figure out the problem...
http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb295/Wolferz_2007/5525_Snot250.jpg

It' snot funny.
PS:
I think Donna made your morning coffee with my neti pot. It's oddly missing from my quarters.

A couple Kentucky boys have a comment on that picture. One of them a retired firefighter (not me).
http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=the+moron+brothers+if+my+nose+ran+money&FORM=VIRE1#view=detail&mid=0F901568F12A17D1D0180F901568F12A17D1D018

[Armistead]

I have a request for membership. Being on the board and several committee positions, per the rules, I can't nominate non members to be members, so if anyone knows this person and thinks he would fit in the bilge, please feel free to nominate him.

Who will nominate Buddahaid?

Once nominated, you will go through the process of membership and be considered an honorary member on probation for 90 days. If you complete the required rituals and follow our rules, you will receive full membership after approval. I have to admit, I do look forward to the day we stand before each other and give the secret handshake...:D

[Aktungbby]

I nominate Buddahaid!:salute:

[Armistead]

I nominate Buddahaid!:salute:


Thank YOU! Really proud, you, our newest full:) member will help him fit in with the guys......

You are now his sponsor, so I expect you to start guiding him gently through the process. I suggest a quick confession with Tango to get him started out with the right foot....


{Tango, maybe up the webcast price for the noob to $1.99, they seem to register more hits...Sorry Aktung, but least know you were our top seller in history}

[Armistead]

I've been living on borrowed time for quite awhile now.

If only the doctor could figure out the problem...
http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb295/Wolferz_2007/5525_Snot250.jpg



I sure hope you have a cold and we haven't reached a level of perversion in the head I'm suspecting....

[Wolferz]

A couple Kentucky boys have a comment on that picture. One of them a retired firefighter (not me).
http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=...68F12A17D1D018

:up::up:
Those old boys could easily be my relatives.:yep:

[Armistead]

A couple Kentucky boys have a comment on that picture. One of them a retired firefighter (not me).
http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=...68F12A17D1D018

:up::up:
Those old boys could easily be my relatives.:yep:

Such entertainment is common round these here parts....

[Buddahaid]

Dead link for me.

[Armistead]

Yea, last one is dead, you have to use the one in the previous picture..

Welcome to the BILGE......

[Armistead]

Wolferz, I have found us the perfect boat for sale. I think if we extend the use of our webcast to cover the entire bilge and raise our prices, we could do it, but we need to think out of the box...

https://sfbay.craigslist.org/pen/boa/4774822938.html

[Aktungbby]

Wolferz, I have found us the perfect boat for sale. I think if we extend the use of our webcast to cover the entire bilge and raise our prices, we could do it, but we need to think out of the box...

https://sfbay.craigslist.org/pen/boa/4774822938.html

http://images.craigslist.org/00b0b_iObzwS8x3N8_600x450.jpgYipes! she literally motored past me a month ago headed up the Sacramento River as I cruised San Pablo Bay (Northmost part of San Francisco BAY) off the mouth of the Napa River. Just keeping up my skills in case we ever unmoor and go somewhere. The $50 k is a bit of a warning-she a tired ol tub but the ferro-cement hull is low maintenance:up: "Engine is GM diesel (needs to be replaced, as does rudder.) served rigging to replicate the original style. Needs some new ratlines and lanyards, and some general renewal." :hmmm:

[Armistead]

I think it a worthwhile endeavor. We could carry flags of numerous nations and be what we have to be when we need to be..:hmmm: Think of all the cool pirate theme parties we could have....

[Aktungbby]

Think of all the cool pirate theme parties we could have.... INDEED you are man of visionhttp://2.bp.blogspot.com/-8xxxE9ko69c/UFmQcxwos3I/AAAAAAAACC8/WDPDmAipj-8/s1600/pirateday-captainpissgums.jpgThe only flags we'll really need methinkshttp://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0163/4514/products/splice-the-mainbrance_cf4384c3-7d50-4785-9946-6901507dfd2f_large.jpg?v=1386014832
Jimbuna can be thew ship's (brevet) LT on these occasions to oversee the proper proportions as I've no doubt he has it memorized and a secret stock of Pusser's to boot- "presence of the Lieutenant of the Watch who is to take particular care to see that the men are not defrauded in having their full allowance of rum... and let those that are good husband men:timeout: receive extra lime juice and sugar that it be made more palatable to them." https://www.pussers.com/Images/rum/admiral-vernon.jpg<(old Grog)Being a 'good husband man' I insist on my lime and sugar-just for scurvy alone; First toast to Old Grog fer sure!:Kaleun_Cheers:

[Armistead]

well, if you ask my wife if I'm a good husband.......

[Wolferz]

Start the fundraiser!:up:

We can park it on the Dan.

[swamprat69er]

http://blogs.riverfronttimes.com/atoz/2cents.jpg
My 2 cents worth.

[Aktungbby]

http://images.craigslist.org/00808_Hhmr00yBtO_600x450.jpgBELAY That! The Napa River is best (right across from Mare Island). We (really) wouldn't wanna pollute the pristine DAN River with what's stickn' to the hull from foreign tankers illegally dumping their ballast in S. F. Bay. :oops: Someone sure does good teakwork though; I just did the Catalina's so I know-sanding, disinfecting and 5 coats:down: I might have started a new career though as several other owners have approached me to do it for them...under the table too. A haul out & 91' vessel survey, $2500, and a long quay ain't cheap...but what a mancave now that I'm childfree! And as former artillerist reenactor, we'd have to upgrade slightly just to repel boarders off the treacherous Contra Costa coast: $2900...apiece ya need four at least just to look right!:arrgh!: http://www.cannonsuperstore.com/nonfiring/BritishLight6Pounder1.jpg

[Jeff-Groves]

You Guys want to borrow the jar I keep on my job sites?
http://i108.photobucket.com/albums/n12/privateer_2006/STFU-jar.jpg

[Armistead]

The Dan ain't deep enuf and no real ocean access so we can go plunder. I certainly hope we're not talking about just getting it and parking it, unless we're gonna do some nightly show....Still, it's time we get into the thick of things....

Aktung, along with your other duties, start training the men and check around for some pirate outfits.. also work on a list of pirate names for the men...

[Buddahaid]

I nominate Buddahaid!:salute:

I thank you, I think....

[Armistead]

I thank you, I think....

Very nice that Aktung was willing to get behind you....

Please keep your oil can with you at all times...

[Buddahaid]

Very nice that Aktung was willing to get behind you....

Please keep your oil can with you at all times...

I prefer real butter over petroleum products at the, er, table.

http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/MTI2NlgxNjAw/z/JqEAAOSw7PBTouKv/$_35.JPG

[Armistead]

I prefer real butter over petroleum products at the, er, table.

http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/MTI2NlgxNjAw/z/JqEAAOSw7PBTouKv/$_35.JPG

Looky here, don't get smart with me and don't think you're gonna come in here changing rules.

First, we never see butter in the bilge, you wanna start a riot? Second, a standard oil can with a 6 inch spout is required to reach in deep enough to...er grease fittings. We can buy cheap # 6 oil for $3 bucks a gallon and it's concentrate at that...You bring in butter, everyones gonna want butter....see where this is going.... Plus, most butter has some salt content and that stuff really burns when it, well, I mean, it corrodes the fittings...

You still want butter, then you'll have to provide for everyone that wants to have some at your expense. Then you need to fill out the proper forms and submit them to your sponsor, he will submit them to me, I will send them to the head for Wolferz's final stamp.

AKtung, get you man under control...

Please take whatever butter you have and give to the head cook, I think that's Fire at the moment. Donna's still being treated professionally and no telling when she will be able to get on her post....:o

[Aktungbby]

I prefer real butter over petroleum products at the, er, table.

http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/MTI2NlgxNjAw/z/JqEAAOSw7PBTouKv/$_35.JPG


AKtung, get you man under control...

Please take whatever butter you have and give to the head cook, I think that's Fire at the moment. Donna's still being treated professionally and no telling when she will be able to get on her post....:o DONE! But the brand I keep stashed has Canola oil mixed in as you well know for your aft o' glide sessions with Tango and the entire aft torpedoroom squad when your oilcan's a little low... http://www.landolakes.com/assets/images/product/detail/butter_updated/15129.png
Recommended by nine out of ten proctologists in the Frigid wasteland!http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/e/e9/Land_O%27Lakes_logo.pngCan be used as lube on chainsaws for cutting the holes in icefishing shacks too! And makes a fine lamp fuel with a piece of sock yarn for the wick in a Hamm's Beer can.
:03:

[Buddahaid]

Looky here, don't get smart with me and don't think you're gonna come in here changing rules.

First, we never see butter in the bilge, you wanna start a riot? Second, a standard oil can with a 6 inch spout is required to reach in deep enough to...er grease fittings. We can buy cheap # 6 oil for $3 bucks a gallon and it's concentrate at that...You bring in butter, everyones gonna want butter....see where this is going.... Plus, most butter has some salt content and that stuff really burns when it, well, I mean, it corrodes the fittings...

You still want butter, then you'll have to provide for everyone that wants to have some at your expense. Then you need to fill out the proper forms and submit them to your sponsor, he will submit them to me, I will send them to the head for Wolferz's final stamp.

AKtung, get you man under control...

Please take whatever butter you have and give to the head cook, I think that's Fire at the moment. Donna's still being treated professionally and no telling when she will be able to get on her post....:o

This is not how we had it back at the Tank and Sewing Machine factory.

[Armistead]

DONE! But the brand I keep stashed has Canola oil mixed in as you well know for your aft o' glide sessions with Tango and the entire aft torpedoroom squad when your oilcan's a little low... http://www.landolakes.com/assets/images/product/detail/butter_updated/15129.png
Recommended by nine out of ten proctologists in the Frigid wasteland!http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/e/e9/Land_O%27Lakes_logo.pngCan be used as lube on chainsaws for cutting the holes in icefishing shacks too! And makes a fine lamp fuel with a piece of sock yarn for the wick in a Hamm's Beer can.
:03:

It's a matter of cost and damn it, I told you not to mention we had the Canola.....now, everyone's gonna want it...

[Armistead]

This is not how we had it back at the Tank and Sewing Machine factory.

You're not in the factory....you're in the bilge.....

Now, go back and oil the aft tubes....you'll have to bend over to fit your upper body in there, but you'll fit......Some good boys back there...


{Tango, aft cam is a go...}

[Tango589]

You're not in the factory....you're in the bilge.....

Now, go back and oil the aft tubes....you'll have to bend over to fit your upper body in there, but you'll fit......Some good boys back there...


{Tango, aft cam is a go...}

Rgr that. Who's aft, the boat or Buddahs'?

Broadcasting boat-wide as we speak. Will be set up for external broadcasting within the week.:salute:

[Wolferz]

Rgr that. Who's aft, the boat or Buddahs'?


We'll leave that to your discretion.:arrgh!:

See?
I'm not the absolute ruler I'm frequently accused of being.
I delegate.

Off to stoke the boiler...

[Tango589]

I think I'll make it the boat aft. We want to break the new'uns in gently...

[Buddahaid]

You're not in the factory....you're in the bilge.....

Now, go back and oil the aft tubes....you'll have to bend over to fit your upper body in there, but you'll fit......Some good boys back there...


{Tango, aft cam is a go...}

Oh all right but I think a refit for the plumbing will be needed to prevent potentially dangerous blow back. It's a life safety issue.

[Armistead]

Oh all right but I think a refit for the plumbing will be needed to prevent potentially dangerous blow back. It's a life safety issue.

AKTUNG!!!!!!!!!! Get your man under control...

Budda, you don't decide if and when refits are needed, it's not even in your job realm. Your job as a new rat is to oil the tubes....

Please, if you have further questions or issues check with your sponsor..

[Buddahaid]

Cripes I can't see a blasted thing in here. Where's the oil go?
http://www.bucksworld.net/words/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/man-in-elephant-ass.jpg

[Tango589]

:har::har::har:

[Armistead]

Cripes I can't see a blasted thing in here. Where's the oil go?
http://www.bucksworld.net/words/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/man-in-elephant-ass.jpg


Just keep your head in the tube, you'll figure out shortly where the oil is going...

[Wolferz]

Don't know how to tell you this but,
The oil fill is in the front.

[Buddahaid]

OK just a few inches more...

Hey, there's a hatch in here....

I don't believe it!
http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20070408052356/memoryalpha/en/images/a/a4/Genesis_cave_1.jpg

[Kaptlt.Endrass]

OI! I've finished cooking the Thanksgiving dinner. So let's stop slapping each other and eat this half cooked bird. I even made some 'special sauce' for everyone.

Now, does anyone have soap? I wasn't able to wash my hands after I came up from the laundry.

[Armistead]

OI! I've finished cooking the Thanksgiving dinner. So let's stop slapping each other and eat this half cooked bird. I even made some 'special sauce' for everyone.

Now, does anyone have soap? I wasn't able to wash my hands after I came up from the laundry.

You're cooking in the laundry? You have any clue what all ends up in the laundry?

I need to find out exactly who our assigned cook is while Donna's in rehab...Seems everyones just doing their own thing these days....That could be a safety issue and I don't recall if we have a safety officer..

[Wolferz]

You're cooking in the laundry? You have any clue what all ends up in the laundry?

I need to find out exactly who our assigned cook is while Donna's in rehab...Seems everyones just doing their own thing these days....That could be a safety issue and I don't recall if we have a safety officer..

The last safety officer fell overboard. Or was he pushed?:arrgh!:

[Tango589]

Last thing I heard, I was on cooking duty, nominated by Aktung if I remember correctly. However, I'm more than happy to delegate this to a more willing mug, err, volunteer.

[Armistead]

Last thing I heard, I was on cooking duty, nominated by Aktung if I remember correctly. However, I'm more than happy to delegate this to a more willing mug, err, volunteer.

It's all confusing. I thought I had it in order...Not fair for you to be our head priest and have to do the cooking as well.

Aktung doesn't have authority to give positions, maybe that's the problem. Our leadership doesn't enforce discipline or render punishment. Seems a continued problem of lack of leadership...

[Armistead]

The last safety officer fell overboard. Or was he pushed?:arrgh!:


The report states that he fell....However, when he was pulled out of the sink, a large grease footprint was found on the rear of his boxers....You were the only witness and you also closed the case after your investigation...

[Tango589]

a large grease footprint was found on the rear of his boxers....
What was the man doing with no trousers on?

[Wolferz]

What was the man doing with no trousers on?

Ensign Marty Pascal, Our previous safety officer, was wound a little tight. That is, until his screws came loose and he reported for watch duty on deck minus his trousers and took a swing at me.
Need I say more?:arrgh!:

[Tango589]

Not at all. Personally I would have stuffed him in a torp tube and launched him.:arrgh!:

[Armistead]

Ensign Marty Pascal, Our previous safety officer, was wound a little tight. That is, until his screws came loose and he reported for watch duty on deck minus his trousers and took a swing at me.
Need I say more?:arrgh!:

Well, that's your side. I wanted to look into it further..but you wouldn't allow me to do so....I do know when our safety officer left the bilge, he was carrying a 5 gallon bucket of used STD penis swabs up top for disposal...

Previous you said he fell off, now you said he swung at you. I assume you just ducked and his forward motion put him in the sink and the footprint is just coincidence?

[Wolferz]

Well, that's your side. I wanted to look into it further..but you wouldn't allow me to do so....I do know when our safety officer left the bilge, he was carrying a 5 gallon bucket of used STD penis swabs up top for disposal...

Previous you said he fell off, now you said he swung at you. I assume you just ducked and his forward motion put him in the sink and the footprint is just coincidence?

No, I didn't duck. I swerved and planted my foot in his backside as he went past.
Inertia is not your friend it seems. Especially with a full bucket in your hand. Just ask Marty.

Now, on to more important business.
Have you assigned a new COB yet?

:arrgh!:

[Aktungbby]

OK men, just got a order from the head...

Directive 212

Tango will take on cooking duties while Donna is under treatment. Tango will also continue in his duties as high priest, but will not be taking confessions. We will now have a sin box, just write your sins down and place them in the box. This way Tango can deal with all sin with one prayer once a week....


Zod

HEY! if Tango says grace while he's cookin'... It'll save us the trouble. and that'll be the sin we drop in the box! :know::yeah:


Last thing I heard, I was on cooking duty, nominated by Aktung if I remember correctly. However, I'm more than happy to delegate this to a more willing mug, err, volunteer.

It's all confusing. I thought I had it in order...Not fair for you to be our head priest and have to do the cooking as well.

Aktung doesn't have authority to give positions, maybe that's the problem. Our leadership doesn't enforce discipline or render punishment. Seems a continued problem of lack of leadership...INNOCENT...by(toothless)GUMM. Took me awhile to research but there it is: Armistead CLEARLY & properly appointed our culunarily inclined padre to the task of sloppin' the crew I merely seconded the nomination as a convenient way of skipping grace...NOT ME! AS TO OUR NEW NOMINEE, I've no doubts whatsover that he'll keep a tight seal and fit (pach it in-so 2 speak?) in well in (one tube?)the aft torpedoroom:O:!Vindicated on two counts!PS:ArmiBBY made me COB but I'll not qubble or dribble over a replacement!http://www.bucksworld.net/words/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/man-in-elephant-ass.jpg

[Tango589]

INNOCENT...by(toothless)GUMM. Took me awhile to research but there it is: Armistead CLEARLY & properly appointed our culunarily inclined padre to the task of sloppin' the crew I merely seconded the nomination as a convenient way of skipping grace
Ok, sorry, my mistake. Armistead did put me on cook house duty, but I have raised the point about the woeful lack of ingredients or pots/pans. Has anything been done about this?

[Armistead]

OK, maybe the stress is getting to me a lil and I'm not recording my orders.
I did in fact tell Tango to do the cooking, but I told him no more confessions and he continued in that, instead of using the sin box. Tango implies then he gave the job to a volunteer, I assume the new feller, Kapt Inass....If Aktongue said I made him COB, I think he confused the position with the nickname "Cob" as in corncob due to his use of...well, anyways, Aktung can continue in the position of COB. 'Chef of the Boat' along with his other positions, Minister of Foreign Affairs, Marketing Officer and whatever else...

We need a new safety officer if anyones has experience and wants the role...

[Tango589]

However, I'm more than happy to delegate this to a more willing volunteer.

I did in fact tell Tango to do the cooking, but I told him no more confessions and he continued in that...Tango implies then he gave the job to a volunteer...
I only said I'm happy to delegate the chef duties, not that I've appointed anyone new. If I am the new chef, maybe we should have a new padre. I am thinking of the newest recruit Buddahaid. He'd look good in a cassock and mitre.

[Wolferz]

When I said COB, I meant Chef Of the Boat.

I'm disturbed about it being the Padre because I loathe unleavened bread and Hey Zeus juice.

[Aktungbby]

Ok, sorry, my mistake. Armistead did put me on cook house duty, but I have raised the point about the woeful lack of ingredients or pots/pans. Has anything been done about this?
Well one reason you're the chef-padre is based on your sacerdotal powers to summon mannah from heaven in a timely fashion to augment our nether regi...er negligent ratiions.:O: None of the crew would presume upon the necessary diety in such a dietary matter...as I recollect though firefighters are adept at cooking for stationhouse crews-and have rudimentary first aid training...perhaps Fireftr can combine chef and safety officer. God knows he lent Buddhaid his best turnout gear-coat for that pachyderm aft inspection.! We can put him in charge of tne new condom machine too, for our upcoming Thailand war cruise-fette Beute-wise:woot:Safety first BBY-We have enough leftover Alberich coating to insure everyone has a good time !:03:

[Armistead]

I've had enough...These are direct orders.

Tango will remain the priest, but find another booth other than the head..I'm tired of when I kneel before you getting piss knees...and while Wolferz says he's stroking me out of compassion, I'm not buying it...

Fire with his vast experience will do the cooking, but can train Kapt. Inass to take that position when he's off probation.

Aktung, will remain in his current position under me...

Budda will be the new safety officer {collection of bilge waste}

Everyone else can maintain the current position they're in...

[Tango589]

Okey-dokey, from now on confessions will be held in the conning tower. No more piss knees and plenty of room for genuflection and benediction.:up:

[Armistead]

Oh, who cares anymore, this place stinks and I'm sick of it, sick of the stew, the confessions, constant whining from lack of herpes ointment....sick of you all. Let's be honest, I'm never gonna get command here, much less my own boat...

I've put in request of transfer to another boat. Once Wolferz approves it, I'm out of here. You won't have old Armi to worry about anymore. I only wanted to lead you men, but truth is this crew is just a bunch of washed up misfits with sow bellies, bent backs and bad breath. Place couldn't be worse if you crossed a porn flick with Old McDonald's farm during a tornado.

[swamprat69er]

Oh, who cares anymore, this place stinks and I'm sick of it, sick of the stew, the confessions, constant whining from lack of herpes ointment....sick of you all. Let's be honest, I'm never gonna get command here, much less my own boat...

I've put in request of transfer to another boat. One Wolferz approves it, I'm out of here. You won't have old Armi to worry about anymore. I only wanted to lead you men, but truth is this crew is just a bunch of washed up misfits with sow bellies, bent backs and bad breath. Place couldn't be worse if you crossed a porn flick with Old McDonald's farm during a tornado.
AND I for one like it that way.

[Wolferz]

Oh, who cares anymore, this place stinks and I'm sick of it, sick of the stew, the confessions, constant whining from lack of herpes ointment....sick of you all. Let's be honest, I'm never gonna get command here, much less my own boat...

I've put in request of transfer to another boat. One Wolferz approves it, I'm out of here. You won't have old Armi to worry about anymore. I only wanted to lead you men, but truth is this crew is just a bunch of washed up misfits with sow bellies, bent backs and bad breath. Place couldn't be worse if you crossed a porn flick with Old McDonald's farm during a tornado.

Request approved!

Going back to your pig farm?
How will that be any different?

The brass is still grilling me as to how the periscope trunk got bent to the point of useless. But, I covered for you and kept mum about the elephant lady you brought aboard for the night of jell-o and back fat party you organized. Watching you motor boat that gal with such enthusiasm was entertainment enough to guarantee my silence. But, I must confess, the sight of cottage cheese still invokes my gag reflex.
We'll miss you. Well, we won't miss all that body hair of yours stopping up the drains and seizing up the bilge pumps. So there's a plus in this whole sordid tale at least.

Aktungbby, would you care for a promotion to first officer?

[Armistead]

AND I for one like it that way.

coming from someone that convinced the Capt. of the boat that his underwear covered in piss stains and doo doo mold were camo briefs.....

I'll be in my bunk until my release.....

[Armistead]

Request approved!

Going back to your pig farm?
How will that be any different?

The brass is still grilling me as to how the periscope trunk got bent to the point of useless. But, I covered for you and kept mum about the elephant lady you brought aboard for the night of jell-o and back fat party you organized. Watching you motor boat that gal with such enthusiasm was entertainment enough to guarantee my silence. But, I must confess, the sight of cottage cheese still invokes my gag reflex.
We'll miss you. Well, we won't miss all that body hair of yours stopping up the drains and seizing up the bilge pumps. So there's a plus in this whole sordid tale at least.

Aktungbby, would you care for a promotion to first officer?

That easy, huh? After all these years, the good, the bad, the ugly. All the talks, watching each other rise in the ranks. Have I not always covered for you as well?

Well, since you wanna air some dirty laundry, here's one for ya. When we were stuck on that island with Chief Buku, you always bragging how Kinki said you "were so big" Well, while you were in wedded bliss with her fat sister, I spent several nights in sordid bliss with Kinki as well. I asked her about it..she said you big all right......"so heavy he flatten me"

I shave my body so I can oil it down during battle stations and get through narrow spaces...

And the elephant lady, that was your sister.....

Well, I guess it's over. Before I leave, I'll let you think about it a few day....Better yet, I say we let the crew vote on it.

Men, if you're all willing to make some changes and say so, I'll stay..

[Buddahaid]

Mmmmmmmmmmm.......
http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/en/doc/2003-11/28/xinsrc_3b05fe69aac64bcaabf208bfc22d8318_1.jpg


Hey..... wait..... no I..........what?
http://f2.thejournal.ie/media/2014/04/jonathanobrien1.gif

Nooooooooo.........
http://38.media.tumblr.com/b2f1bc4017a65011b207e414304dd651/tumblr_na2pvo8WHl1ruj667o1_1280.gif



Where am I?

[fireftr18]

I've had enough...These are direct orders.

Tango will remain the priest, but find another booth other than the head..I'm tired of when I kneel before you getting piss knees...and while Wolferz says he's stroking me out of compassion, I'm not buying it...

Fire with his vast experience will do the cooking, but can train Kapt. Inass to take that position when he's off probation.

Aktung, will remain in his current position under me...

Budda will be the new safety officer {collection of bilge waste}

Everyone else can maintain the current position they're in...

I'll take that position,err, job. It might take a while. When you asked me to get the Bilge cleaned up, I got some of the newby's working on it. Shortage of pots and pans because one of them is busy scraping the crud out of them. Another is scraping the crud off the stove. When it's all cleaned up and ready to go, I'll get started. Be careful, in full firefighter tradition, I use hot sauce by the gallons.:o

[Aktungbby]

firefighterss are adept at cooking for stationhouse crews-and have rudimentary first aid training...perhaps Fireftr can combine chef and safety officer. God knows he lent Buddhaid his best turnout gear-coat for that pachyderm aft inspection.! We can put him in charge of tne new condom machine too, for our upcoming Thailand war cruise-fette Beute-wise:woot:Safety first BBY-We have enough leftover Alberich coating to insure everyone has a good time !:03:

Mmmmmmmmmmm.......

Wee
Hey..... wait..... no I..........what?


Nooooooooo.........
http://38.media.tumblr.com/b2f1bc4017a65011b207e414304dd651/tumblr_na2pvo8WHl1ruj667o1_1280.gif



Where am I?

I'll take that position,err, job. It might take a while. When you asked me to get the Bilge cleaned up, I got some of the newby's working on it. Shortage of pots and pans because one of them is busy scraping the crud out of them. Another is scraping the crud off the stove. When it's all cleaned up and ready to go, I'll get started. Be careful, in full firefighter tradition, I use hot sauce by the gallons.:oWell that solves the chef problemo 2 A t! and the more tobasco the better!
As for BuddahBBY....how'd he find Catfish's mushrooms so damn quick; unless they were in the pachyderm's gandu:doh: As 4 ArmiBBY ditching his responsibilities here, I don't see a departure anytime soon: Wolfertz has adroitly and forsightedly 'damned' his service record with faint praise ,practically insuring his continued minionship aboard our band-of-misfits tub; no other 'sane' commander would take him after reading his jacket. The proof is in the pudding: no other exec would dare make ME his COB:O:!

[Kaptlt.Endrass]

I've had enough...These are direct orders.

Tango will remain the priest, but find another booth other than the head..I'm tired of when I kneel before you getting piss knees...and while Wolferz says he's stroking me out of compassion, I'm not buying it...

Fire with his vast experience will do the cooking, but can train Kapt. Inass to take that position when he's off probation.

Aktung, will remain in his current position under me...

Budda will be the new safety officer {collection of bilge waste}

Everyone else can maintain the current position they're in...

Does this mean I need to apprentice someone for the laundry, sewage tank clearing, and deck swabbing soon?

[Armistead]

I'm gonna assume the men want me to stay since they're still asking me questions.

I filed my request to transfer while under digest, that last meal just did me in. The Dr. said I wasn't myself and my request wasn't legit.

I'm staying on .....still hurt that I could be dismissed so easily.

[Armistead]

Does this mean I need to apprentice someone for the laundry, sewage tank clearing, and deck swabbing soon?

Far as I know we've been using 5 gal bucket since Wolferz took refuge in the head, but yes, continue to empty the buckets up top once they're full. Make sure you scrub each one with lye. Oh, I know the last man that did this job said the fishing was really good when he dumped he buckets.....

You can do the laundry, but before sanitary removal, deck swabbing as well.

Next new member, you can assign one of these positions to them, providing proper training...

Edit....Budda being the newest member was recent'y assigned sanitary duty under his role as safety officer, so you don't have to continue in that role. Sorry for the confusion, I haven't been myself lately...

[Wolferz]

What can I say?

You know I hate...
http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb295/Wolferz_2007/baby_snot_bubble.jpg
Cry babies.:stare:

I'm sure the Pentagon can find you a slot suitable to your talents....
Like: Patton's personal chauffer...
http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb295/Wolferz_2007/_h540_w1098_m6_utrue_otrue_lfalse.jpg

[Buddahaid]

ZZzzzzzzzzzz
http://lovepictures.us/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/funny-sweet-baby-sleeping-pictures.jpg


Snerk.,,,,
http://www.puffpieces.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/waking-up-tired2.jpg

Hey what happened my head hurts. I think some fumes or something got to me.

What's going on?

[Tango589]

You'll be ok, Catfish slipped you some of his 'shrooms. You'll be right as rain after a stiff shot of bilge brew.

[Armistead]

WERN LIVES......!!!!

Let our new cry be...Down with Wolferz, long live Wern!

[fireftr18]

WERN LIVES......!!!!

Let our new cry be...Down with Wolferz, long live Wern!

:Kaleun_Party:

Armistead, you can cry about Wolferz all you want, I'll celebrate return of our prodigal son.

[Aktungbby]

:Kaleun_Party:

Armistead, you can cry about Wolferz all you want, I'll celebrate return of our prodigal son.
Celebrate as you will; I nominate WehrnerVonTrapp to the bilge without further ado !EDIT: He can be the COB; I never impede seniority in the BILGE!:yeah:

[Armistead]

Celebrate as you will; I nominate WehrnerVonTrapp to the bilge without further ado!:yeah:

Wern is one of the original rats, a rats rat....

However, I think he evolved out of the rats due to our vile nature, smells and probably won't return, but he'll always be a rat in our hearts..

[Wolferz]

:DWern lives?
Where is that ol' scallywag?:D

[Armistead]

:DWern lives?
Where is that ol' scallywag?:D

Yep, now the question is who does the skeleton belong to in the aft?

[Aktungbby]

Yep, now the question is who does the skeleton belong to in the aft?
OOPS! I do recall we were awfully well fed when we found those well gnawed bones,,,Cherchez la femme?:huh:http://cdn.thehairpin.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/theda-bara-gosling-tattoo-640x500.jpg

[Wolferz]

OOPS! I do recall we were awfully well fed when we found those well gnawed bones,,,Cherchez la femme?:huh:http://cdn.thehairpin.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/theda-bara-gosling-tattoo-640x500.jpg

Lorelei got another one but, I don't think that's Wernher. I always held hope that his dinghy was still afloat and he was merely caught in the Pacific garbage pile without a paddle.

We're going to have to wait a few more years for DNA advances to identify that skeleton. At least the poor beggar fed the Rats for awhile.:up:

[Wolferz]

Armistead the black bearded pi-rat.

http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb295/Wolferz_2007/_h768_w1366_m6_ofalse_lfalse.jpg

Bucking for a long walk off a short plank?

[Aktungbby]

YO HO HO AND A BOTTLE O' PUSSER'S:arrgh!:http://www.history.com/news/ask-history/files/2013/10/pirates.jpgI don't know as we should do'm so bad...see'n as he's losn' 'is marbles in our servicehttp://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/0/0d/Pyle_pirate_plank_edited.jpg/640px-Pyle_pirate_plank_edited.jpgBetter we leave 'im on a barren rat infested coast with an allotment of corncobs to contemplate his mutinous skullduggery..:shifty: :yep:.http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/d/d2/Marooned_%28close_up%29.jpg/1024px-Marooned_%28close_up%29.jpg

[Tango589]

If Wern does come back, I'm going to need an extra-long confessional with him. Make sure the confession-cam is good to go, and there is an abundant supply of snacks for you and communion wine for me.:)

[Armistead]

Well, he certainly needs to explain himself for his long absence without say'n nothing or requesting leave.

Just think how you guys would feel if I just vanished without a word....

[Jimbuna]

Well, he certainly needs to explain himself for his long absence without say'n nothing or requesting leave.

Just think how you guys would feel if I just vanished without a word....

Elated, overjoyed, ecstatic, spring immediately to mind :)

[Wolferz]

Elated, overjoyed, ecstatic, spring immediately to mind :)


Ouch!!! That's gotta sting!:har:

What am I saying?
You'll probably throw a party when I go.:huh:

[Tango589]

:salute::woot::har::arrgh!::Kaleun_Cheers:

[Armistead]

Elated, overjoyed, ecstatic, spring immediately to mind :)

hurtful, but you're not a rat, so I can deal with it. My rat brothers love me long time...

[Armistead]

Ouch!!! That's gotta sting!:har:

What am I saying?
You'll probably throw a party when I go.:huh:

Well, when I go, I expect what's left of the bilge to give me a proper funeral and burial, tell a lot of jokes, have fun and bury me at sea.

If you go first, you know I'll see that you are handled correctly:D and we'll give you a first class funeral and burial...and then I'll take over the boat and get us back into first class shape for battle...