The Bilge [Archive] - Page 4 - SUBSIM Radio Room Forums

Armistead

12-01-14, 02:51 PM

Notice:

The following members have yet completed their qualification for swimming.
Meet the minimum obligated service as of the class ... Swim continuously, 500 yds utilizing sidestroke and/or breaststroke within 14 minutes.

Fire
Aktung
Budda
Kapt Inass.
Wolferz {the shame of it}

To improve morals/morale.. I'm not sure which it was, I just took it down.
We'll be having a basket weaving class on Tuesday nights in the galley.

The crew is encouraged to turn in their porn to Tango during confession. Tango feels this is a needed step, rather than just confessing it.

Per Wolferz, condoms will no longer be provided to the crew, he feels it only encourages bad behavior.

We will be adding fresh fruit once a week to our diet.

Tango589

12-01-14, 03:48 PM

Notice:
The crew is encouraged to turn in their porn to Tango during confession. Tango feels this is a needed step, rather than just confessing it.

This is a good idea. I feel I really need to experience what the crew are confessing first-hand, so I can fully appreciate what they are going through. Also, I need something to decorate the confession booth, Battleship Grey is such a drab colour.

Buddahaid

12-01-14, 09:38 PM

So we're hard at work qualifying for the swimming requirement. I think I just made in under the bell.
http://i225.photobucket.com/albums/dd52/sirwinpb/8c2ad8b7-923b-4276-bfca-49cb151a3add.jpg (http://s225.photobucket.com/user/sirwinpb/media/8c2ad8b7-923b-4276-bfca-49cb151a3add.jpg.html)

Aktungbby

12-01-14, 10:06 PM

I'm following these two into the frigid waters...http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/0/0c/Two_brave_girls_-_Polar_Bear_Plunge_2009.jpg/640px-Two_brave_girls_-_Polar_Bear_Plunge_2009.jpgnot these twohttp://galleries.gothamistllc.com/asset/52c4cf17e0fbc07f098e02c1/mobile/polar76.JPG:D

Armistead

12-01-14, 10:28 PM

First, the fresh fruit ordered by Wolferz has arrived ..

http://i319.photobucket.com/albums/mm460/jujubear09/Bananas.jpg (http://media.photobucket.com/user/jujubear09/media/Bananas.jpg.html)

Not sure this would be my first pick:o, but please don't leave your peels laying on the deck.

Swimming qualifications didn't go so well. The best time was by Aktung, who swam 24 yards in 1 hour 15 minutes. However, his time was disqualified due to improper swimming devices being used. Good try Aktung, but you got caught...please leave your ...er..floatation device below deck..

http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e333/cd2323/1234.jpg (http://media.photobucket.com/user/cd2323/media/1234.jpg.html)

Budda got the next best time, 10 yards in 3 hours 5 minutes....Until further notice those listed are not to go topside..

fireftr18

12-01-14, 10:50 PM

Armistead

12-01-14, 10:56 PM

I like breast stroking. Can I bring my Mrs. Fireftr to help me with that? :O:

well, you and Wolferz breast stroking on deck sure didn't count this time. C'mon, you two need to be setting an example for the men....

Kaptlt.Endrass

12-02-14, 01:42 AM

Swimming qualifications didn't go so well. The best time was by Aktung, who swam 24 yards in 1 hour 15 minutes. However, his time was disqualified due to improper swimming devices being used. Good try Aktung, but you got caught...please leave your ...er..floatation device below deck..

http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e333/cd2323/1234.jpg (http://media.photobucket.com/user/cd2323/media/1234.jpg.html)

Budda got the next best time, 10 yards in 3 hours 5 minutes....Until further notice those listed are not to go topside..

I'll work on it. As long as I can pass Wolferz and Fire and leave them for the sharks, I'm satisfied. Don't have to be the fastest, just faster than the slowest.

I'll get them floaties next time I go out.

WernherVonTrapp

12-04-14, 08:41 PM

http://i1045.photobucket.com/albums/b456/archangel501/santa-clause_zpsac4e3040.jpghttp://i1045.photobucket.com/albums/b456/archangel501/counting-on-wernher_zps32105f2c.jpg
:har:

Tango589

12-05-14, 06:46 AM

Armistead

12-05-14, 08:41 AM

A couple of items:

1) Wernher, meet me in the Confession Booth (conning tower), I feel we have some serious confessing to do.

(Armistead, is the Confession-cam still going?)

2) I think it may be a good idea, to boost morale, to from a bilge-band. We'll need volunteers and anything that can be used as instruments. We may even be able to put on a concert in a few months.

Wern is just jealous that in his absence I was promoted to XO. I believe Wern is a baptist and I doubt you'll get him in the booth, nor will he bow to Wolferz and kiss his ring.

I think the fresh fruit has improved morale and the rats seem to be taking more pride in themselves. I even saw Swamp washing his body. I do like the idea of a bilge band, with practice we can do a Christmas concert for Subsim. It may get us more members... I might even do another one of my famous Christmas productions...

Also, I authorize you to get us a tree and some stockings for the men...

Tango589

12-05-14, 08:49 AM

What size stockings do the men wear?

Armistead

12-05-14, 09:05 AM

What size stockings do the men wear?

It doesn't matter, just something the men can hang in the galley in hopes that Wolferz will fill them with something...Donna left her suitcase, try looking there, it's under Wolferz's bunk...

Tango589

12-05-14, 09:25 AM

I found a few of these in her suitcase:

http://i298.photobucket.com/albums/mm260/tango589/stockings.jpg

I managed to get this submarine-ready tree:

http://i298.photobucket.com/albums/mm260/tango589/tree.jpg

It's already bent over, so it fits in better.

I also found a bunch of other items in her case, which I think are best thrown over the side and never spoken of again.:o

Armistead

12-05-14, 01:09 PM

I like the tree, with a lil work, it will look nice.

I was hoping for some red silk stockings....:shifty:

Buddahaid

12-05-14, 02:13 PM

I have considerable experience beating the skins so I volunteer for the band.

Tango589

12-05-14, 02:21 PM

I have considerable experience beating the skins
What you do in your private time is of interest only to yourself...:o:oops:

Armistead

12-05-14, 03:33 PM

I have considerable experience beating the skins so I volunteer for the band.

You asked first, so you'll be beating the skins.

I'm for the hills of NC and good blowing, so I'll do the jug.. I'm sure we got an empty jug around here..

Aktungbby

12-05-14, 04:02 PM

I have considerable experience beating the skins so I volunteer for the band.
Well, I'll handle the http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/1/1a/Bodhran.jpg (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Bodhran.jpg) bodhrán with some traditional 'tippers' :o I found in the luggage before we threw it overboard...:D somebody's tymphonic will be symphonic with a little Gaelic skinbeating:har:http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/8/85/203-0136_bodhran_tipper-beater-cipin-stick_hinnerk-ruemenapf-v01-i01-h2000.jpg/1024px-203-0136_bodhran_tipper-beater-cipin-stick_hinnerk-ruemenapf-v01-i01-h2000.jpgtraditional tippers

WernherVonTrapp

12-05-14, 04:03 PM

You asked first, so you'll be beating the skins.

I'm for the hills of NC and good blowing, so I'll do the jug.. I'm sure we got an empty jug around here..

I think I have an old washboard in the basement. What will be the band's forte, Bluegrass? :shucks:

Aktungbby

12-05-14, 04:20 PM

I think I have an old washboard in the basement. What will be the band's forte, Bluegrass? :shucks:

Now yer a gittn' to the Nitty-Gritty of it! http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/6/6a/The_Nitty_Gritty_Dirt_Band-Will_the_Circle_Be_Unbroken_%28album_cover%29.jpg: up:

swamprat69er

12-05-14, 05:20 PM

Now yer a gittn' to the Nitty-Gritty of it! http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/6/6a/The_Nitty_Gritty_Dirt_Band-Will_the_Circle_Be_Unbroken_%28album_cover%29.jpg: up:
http://youtu.be/CQolNW6SNEs

Tango589

12-05-14, 05:44 PM

I do a good turn on paper and comb, I'm sure we can find those somewhere round here. All we need is someone on the tea-chest bass and we'll have the makings of a top skiffle band!:yeah:

Armistead

12-05-14, 05:59 PM

Can someone play the spoons?

Kaptlt.Endrass

12-05-14, 08:46 PM

2) I think it may be a good idea, to boost morale, to from a bilge-band. We'll need volunteers and anything that can be used as instruments. We may even be able to put on a concert in a few months.

I've some practice with the bagpipes, if you'd like. Not amazing, but it doesn't sound like a dying cat.

Tango589

12-05-14, 08:50 PM

Bravo! If you've managed to stop them sounding like a cat being stretched across a tennis court, you must be damn near virtuoso. This is just the sort of talent we desperately need!:woot:

Buddahaid

12-05-14, 09:38 PM

Pipes? Are you trying to win the war?

Aktungbby

12-06-14, 01:11 AM

BETTER: with a little Cabernet instead of water to keep up the tempo: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phqymc8anO0 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phqymc8anO0) and for our BILGE science jocks...an uptic on our boat's homemade instrumentation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OWZWMg6xkQ (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OWZWMg6xkQ) @ Kaptlt Endrass check out the garbage bag bagpipe!

Kaptlt.Endrass

12-06-14, 02:15 AM

Pipes? Are you trying to win the war?

Was there a war? Oh well, the Scots would have won anyways, pipes or not. We've got six to eight foot swords to fight with (feel free to interpret that however).

'FREEEEEEEEDOOOOOMMMM!'

Wolferz

12-06-14, 07:28 AM

I'll be in the area all day.

Aktungbby

12-06-14, 11:41 AM

I'll be in the area all day.

:Kaleun_Salute: :Kaleun_Party::Kaleun_Applaud: oh good! you can be on the cowbell!

Buddahaid

12-06-14, 11:57 AM

Looks like we're about set.
http://ffmedia.ign.com/countrybears/multimedia/countrybears.jpg

swamprat69er

12-06-14, 12:07 PM

http://youtu.be/00ezil7iN8A?t=2m17s

and some Christmas music
http://youtu.be/FzJW65XwKPY

Aktungbby

12-06-14, 02:06 PM

http://youtu.be/00ezil7iN8A?t=2m17s

and some Christmas music
http://youtu.be/FzJW65XwKPY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5e0TVUC_ko (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5e0TVUC_ko) :03: and after we've dug up the galley ...Dem bones! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMokBr9cTxM (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMokBr9cTxM) :D

fireftr18

12-06-14, 06:14 PM

I do a good turn on paper and comb, I'm sure we can find those somewhere round here. All we need is someone on the tea-chest bass and we'll have the makings of a top skiffle band!:yeah:

No one else volunteered so I guess I'll take it up. :O:

Wolferz

12-06-14, 06:49 PM

http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb295/Wolferz_2007/grumpy-confused-cat.jpg

Armistead

12-06-14, 07:15 PM

I'll sing bass....

fireftr18

12-07-14, 06:17 PM

I'll sing bass....

http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=billy+bass&FORM=VIRE8#view=detail&mid=DC2D2DF8D8FBF796D115DC2D2DF8D8FBF796D115

:Kaleun_Cheers:

Tango589

12-08-14, 09:06 AM

Armistead

12-08-14, 07:15 PM

I've got us our first gig and it's for the New Year. It's not huge (actually it's the Foggy Creek Home for the Perpetually Bewildered, Podunk, Alabama) but you know what they say: from little acorns do mighty oak trees grow. Just think lads, this year Podunk, next year Madison Square Gardens sell-out!:up:

That's a long way off and a lot of expense. I assume you're doing ticket sales first to make sure we can get there and back to base? Last time we tried something like this, we had to do a lot of strange things to get back home.

Buddahaid

12-09-14, 12:32 AM

Armistead

12-09-14, 08:18 AM

Tango589

12-09-14, 10:04 AM

Hmmm. I not sure if the establishment could tell us apart from the inmat......guests although we could very likely make a killing by repeatedly selling tickets to the same people and book first class return airfare. :hmmm:

Aha, I see you've spotted the master stroke in my plan! If we keep this up long enough this time next year we'll be millionaires! :03:

As Del-boy would put it:
http://i298.photobucket.com/albums/mm260/tango589/lovely_jubbly.jpg

Well, last time we were in better shape. I don't know that we can strip at gay bars again state to state to get back home.....and the one time we went to Alabama, well, I'm not dressing up like a sheep again.....
None of these shenanigans will be necessary if my plan comes to fruition. Still, If they do occur, you can always come to me to be absolved of your sins (as well as receiving treatment for injuries so caused).

Aktungbby

12-09-14, 12:19 PM

well, I'm not dressing up like a sheep again.....
WHA....! the very thought of EWEhttp://www.picgifs.com/animal-graphics/animal-graphics/sheep/animal-graphics-sheep-429270.gif looking a little woolie in a gay bar...??? WHERE's that Aft'o'glide..... and the shears http://www.picgifs.com/animal-graphics/animal-graphics/sheep/animal-graphics-sheep-039295.gif

Kaptlt.Endrass

12-10-14, 10:40 PM

Well, last time we were in better shape. I don't know that we can strip at gay bars again state to state to get back home.....and the one time we went to Alabama, well, I'm not dressing up like a sheep again.....

With me along, we won't have to resort to that. First, we 'borrow' an airplane, then we can go from there. I've got 247 hours logged behind a double-engine Cessna, so if we 'take' the Memphis Belle 'on a maintnence run' to Europe and all over the states, there's only a 63.58309% chance of us going down.

Unless Aktung replaces the dual-fifties in the turrets and Budda and Wolferz shoot the tail off.

Buddahaid

12-10-14, 11:10 PM

With me along, we won't have to resort to that. First, we 'borrow' an airplane, then we can go from there. I've got 247 hours logged behind a double-engine Cessna, so if we 'take' the Memphis Belle 'on a maintnence run' to Europe and all over the states, there's only a 63.58309% chance of us going down.

Unless Aktung replaces the dual-fifties in the turrets and Budda and Wolferz shoot the tail off.

My aim is always good when shooting tail. :stare:

swamprat69er

12-11-14, 12:35 AM

With me along, we won't have to resort to that. First, we 'borrow' an airplane, then we can go from there. I've got 247 hours logged behind a double-engine Cessna, so if we 'take' the Memphis Belle 'on a maintnence run' to Europe and all over the states, there's only a 63.58309% chance of us going down.

I may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I count 4 engines on the Belle. What are you going to do? Not start two of them?

http://wsav.images.worldnow.com/images/23688262_SA.jpg

Aktungbby

12-11-14, 06:18 PM

^YOU'RE lookin' at it all wrong! "Yet, because of the B-17s sturdy and stout design, its crews (including two still living uncles-ages 93!) trusted their aircraft believing that their 'Forts' wouldn't let them down. B-17s returned to England daily with their noses blown open, tails gashed and wings riddled with flack damage. Often they touched down with one or two oil-streaked engines stone cold, with the remaining engines moaning under the strain.":D http://www.fiddlersgreen.net/aircraft/Boeing-B17/IMAGES/weird-B17.jpgNaturally the honor your enemies pay you counts more:salute:"During World War II, after crash-landing or being forced down, approximately 40 B-17s were captured and refurbished, with about a dozen put back into the air. Given German national markings on their wings and fuselage sides, and tail fin-flashes, the captured B-17s were used to determine the B-17's vulnerabilities and to train German interceptor pilots in attack tactics.Others, with the cover designations Dornier Do 200 and Do 288, were used as long-range transports by the Kampfgeschwader 200 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kampfgeschwader_200) special duties unit, carrying out agent drops and supplying secret airstrips in the Middle East and North Africa. They were chosen specifically for these missions as being more suitable for this role than other available German aircraft; they never attempted to deceive the Allies and always wore full Luftwaffe markings One B-17 of KG200, bearing the Luftwaffe's KG 200 Geschwaderkennung (combat wing code) markings A3+FB, was interned by Spain when it landed at Valencia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valencia) airfield, 27 June 1944, remaining there for the rest of the war It has been alleged that some B-17s kept their Allied markings and were used by the Luftwaffe in attempts to infiltrate B-17 bombing formations and report on their positions and altitudes. According to these allegations, the practice was initially successful, but Army Air Force combat aircrews quickly developed and established standard procedures to first warn off, and then fire upon any "stranger" trying to join a group's formation. pics or it didn't happen:doh: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/5/57/B17_kg200.jpg

Kaptlt.Endrass

12-11-14, 08:13 PM

I may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I count 4 engines on the Belle. What are you going to do? Not start two of them?

I COULD do that. But it can't be that hard to start another two engines. If it comes down to it, I'll teach the copilot the wonders of aerial engine maintnence.

Speaking of which, I need a good crew. All may apply for one of the following:
Copilot, navigator, bombadier (for ending problems the Bilge may have), gunners, and flight attendant. We must have our in-flight prime rib and champagne.

Armistead

12-11-14, 08:27 PM

We could parachute into Alabama all dressed as Santa, lights on us, etc..Kapt. could then land the plane, if he don't make it....we'll figure it out...

We do need some toys for the kids and the only toys in the bilge..., well, those won't work.

Now we just gotta "borrow" a plane....

Tango589

12-11-14, 08:40 PM

You know, in the time I've been a Rat, there's one question I've never gotten to ask. Where the hell are we docked?

Buddahaid

12-11-14, 10:50 PM

You know, in the time I've been a Rat, there's one question I've never gotten to ask. Where the hell are we docked?

Good question. I believe I was drugged and just woke up here.

swamprat69er

12-12-14, 01:15 AM

I COULD do that. But it can't be that hard to start another two engines.
Starting isn't the problem.
Your Cessna twin engine is on tricycle landing gear. Real easy to taxi, take off and land. The B-17 is a 'tail dragger'. A whole new world will open up for you when you try to get one of those flying buses into the air. Landing is a whole 'nother story. Just because you might be able to do it on a 'puter, don't mean squat in the real world, but you are welcome to try. I will stay in the hanger and watch.

swamprat69er

12-12-14, 01:17 AM

You know, in the time I've been a Rat, there's one question I've never gotten to ask. Where the hell are we docked?
I was stoned and I missed it.

Wolferz

12-12-14, 05:35 AM

Look outside.
Always remember...
No matter where you go, there you are.:D

I think this building is labeled "Hangar 18"

We're going flying?
Great!
Lemme break out my old copy of B-17 Flying Fortress The Mighty Eighth for a refresher course on flying one of those birds. They even programmed the full engine starting procedures and the Nordstrom Bomb Sight.:yeah:

Sailor Steve

12-12-14, 10:51 AM

Nordstrom Bomb Sight.:yeah:
They sell those??? :o :O:

Aktungbby

12-12-14, 12:45 PM

They sell those??? :o :O:

INDEED! $8995 +$60 shipping with case!:D :O: http://www.craiggottlieb.com/catalog/primary/4642p.jpghowever: A member of the German Duquesne Spy Ring (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duquesne_Spy_Ring), Herman W. Lang, who had been employed by the Carl L. Norden Corporation, (manufacturers of the Norden bombsight) was able to provide vital details of the new bombsight to the Germans. During a visit to Germany in 1938, Lang reconstructed plans from memory.
The Norden consisted of two primary parts, the optical system, and a large stabilization platform. Both were complex and had to be separately maintained to keep them operational.
In comparison the Lotfe 7 was dramatically simpler, consisting of a single metal box containing the vast majority of the mechanism, The mechanisms within combined the functions of the Norden's stabilizer and optics, moving the mirror to stabilize the image as well as tracking the target. The controls were likewise much simpler than the Nordens', consisting primarily of three large knurled knobs to adjust aim. Given the low quality of our proposed aircrew-myself included-as top turret/engineer with only 115 hours in a Cessna and considering that ArmiBBY will probably be the bombardier...a used Lofte 7 would be best under the Bilge's KISS principle, especially if we get one of these to go with it with whatever bombsight...they'll be on the Fritz permanently!:Dhttp://www.ctie.monash.edu.au/hargrave/images/hs293_dm_350.jpg (http://www.ctie.monash.edu.au/hargrave/images/hs293_dm_500.jpg)

Armistead

12-12-14, 03:04 PM

We were docked at Pearl, then they moved us to Dutch Harbor in Alaska to bring toilet paper to the marines...We then came back for refit and decided to head up the Mississippi to Manitowoc. We opened a casino on board coming up the river and let kids shoot the deck gun....the complete family experience...We were headed back down the Mississippi where Wolferz said we dock again, but I think he got stuck on a sandbar and too ashamed to admit it, thus his pilgrimage to the head...

Wolferz

12-12-14, 04:57 PM

They sell those??? :o :O:

Nah, the programmers dug up an old bombardier for technical advice.

The virtual system worked good.:up: I spread bombs all over virtual France and Germany.:shifty:

Sailor Steve

12-12-14, 07:34 PM

INDEED!
Missed the joke entirely? The question was whether Nordstrom's sells them?

Wolferz

12-12-14, 08:04 PM

Missed the joke entirely? The question was whether Nordstrom's sells them?

Uhhhhh duhhhh. :haha: I see mu moose steak! But it got my point across.:D

As for the sand bar... the big muddy swirls, changes banks and just meanders all over the place. I figured it was just a matter of time before those waters washed us off the bar and the head was as good a place as any to wait.
Kind of like when the wife sends you out for a certain feminine product once a month and you end up buying a boat and a lot of fishing gear because while you're waiting for hell to freeze over, you might as well go fishing.:O:
That hair lipped clerk at the general store sure appreciates the business and he loves conversing with Armibby. Two liked lipped fellows I suppose.:88)

BTW, the Norden Bombsight had one major drawback...
You couldn't see through clouds with it. Today we have our own versions of the buzz bomb with no such handicap..

fireftr18

12-12-14, 09:00 PM

Aktungbby

12-12-14, 11:22 PM

Missed the joke entirely? The question was whether Nordstrom's sells them?

NO NO! I got it! I thought you or Wolfertz were doing a brilliant play on words and the price is certainly up to Nordstrom$ in any case:sunny:hence my :O:

Tango589

12-13-14, 05:54 AM

Wolferz

12-13-14, 06:00 AM

Cheers for the info, it makes me feel a bit more grounded knowing where in the world we are.:up:

We're in the water on the world.:D

Tango589

12-13-14, 07:08 AM

We're in the water on the world.:D
What with us being in what passes for a sub, I would have hoped so, Captain Obvious!:O:

Armistead

12-13-14, 08:05 AM

We have a Nordstrom Bomb Site on the sub....? Where and how will it be used...

Wolferz

12-13-14, 10:09 AM

What with us being in what passes for a sub, I would have hoped so, Captain Obvious!:O:

That's Captain Zod to you.

We have a Nordstrom Bomb Site on the sub....? Where and how will it be used...

At Sachs Fifth Avenue very carefully.

fireftr18

12-13-14, 10:44 AM

What with us being in what passes for a sub, I would have hoped so, Captain Obvious!:O:
Shouldn't that be Captain Oblivious?

Armistead

12-13-14, 10:56 AM

That's Captain Zod to you.

At Sachs Fifth Avenue very carefully.

Oh, so flying to Alabama, we're going to take a bomb run over Sachs to drop some Christmas cheer.....Great idea....! No wonder they elected you leader...

We may need to lighten the load to carry another 600lbs of fuel, so who do we leave behind?

Aktungbby

12-13-14, 11:00 AM

We have a Nordstrom Bomb Site on the sub....? Where and how will it be used...

Were getting one of these with a really long cord:D http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/2/22/FA-330_Bachstelze2.jpg/300px-FA-330_Bachstelze2.jpg (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:FA-330_Bachstelze2.jpg) Foc ke-Achgelis FA 330 Bachstelze (English: Wagtail)could be the only wagtail any of us get all day:O: some assembly required...Endrass can handle the sordid details-you're still on the bomb sight.:03:

Buddahaid

12-13-14, 11:17 AM

Like this?
http://www.wesellitalldickerdealhere.com/comet-electra1.jpg

Wolferz

12-13-14, 01:05 PM

Oh look. Honey Boo Boo is all growed up.

If we need to lighten the load, take off one of those 600 pound blockbusters. We only want to drop a building, not the whole block.:hmmm:

Buddahaid

12-13-14, 01:36 PM

Is that what has stopped up the head?

Armistead

12-14-14, 08:52 AM

Is that what has stopped up the head?

No, Wolferz shaves his legs and privates in the toilet....

Kaptlt.Endrass

12-14-14, 12:28 PM

Starting isn't the problem.
Your Cessna twin engine is on tricycle landing gear. Real easy to taxi, take off and land. The B-17 is a 'tail dragger'. A whole new world will open up for you when you try to get one of those flying buses into the air. Landing is a whole 'nother story. Just because you might be able to do it on a 'puter, don't mean squat in the real world, but you are welcome to try. I will stay in the hanger and watch.

While I agree that the Fortress is a bus and I'll need a lot more runway to get up, the tail drag set-up is not new for me. I fitted an aftermarket kit to my plane that fixed the tricycle problem.

@Armistead: To continue the questions, what type of sub are we even on? I have yet to go out on deck, the stern tubes being so screwy.

Armistead

12-15-14, 03:57 AM

While I agree that the Fortress is a bus and I'll need a lot more runway to get up, the tail drag set-up is not new for me. I fitted an aftermarket kit to my plane that fixed the tricycle problem.

@Armistead: To continue the questions, what type of sub are we even on? I have yet to go out on deck, the stern tubes being so screwy.

Tambor Class Sub....

Wolferz

12-15-14, 01:42 PM

No, Wolferz shaves his legs and privates in the toilet....

You like to watch?
How else could you know that?

What a voyeur!:arrgh!:

Aktungbby

12-15-14, 01:57 PM

You like to watch?
How else could you know that?

What a voyeur!:arrgh!:
Does he ever! :O:http://i.imgur.com/3XRdr.jpg
(thankyou spoon 11)

Tango589

12-15-14, 02:07 PM

*BING BONG*

This is a boat-wide broadcast:

Johnsons Eye Bleach is available in the Confessional should anyone need it.

*BING BANG BONG*

Wolferz

12-15-14, 05:55 PM

Does he ever! :O:http://i.imgur.com/3XRdr.jpg
(thankyou spoon 11)

Taking care of the naughty list of course!:huh:

You can tell those aren't my legs. Too much hair.

Buddahaid

12-18-14, 11:42 PM

Looks like advanced ticket sales are doing well.
http://www.pigboats.com/subs/tt.jpg

Titanicgeek

12-18-14, 11:47 PM

http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb295/Wolferz_2007/3-blind-mice-child-group-costume.jpg
From left to right... MWolfe, Wernher, firefiter18.

Talk about your three blind rats!
I would've been in the shot but, somebody had to take the picture and we couldn't afford a professional photographer.

I don't remember who came up with that secret handshake.
{selective memory loss from a stroke} instead of a shake.:huh:

It may have had something to do with the hookers...
http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb295/Wolferz_2007/three_blind_mice1.jpg

and the mickies Swamprat was putting in our beer.:doh:

C'mon in Steed. We like fellows with down under accents.:shucks:

If'n you don't perform the secret handshake Mister Tango, well, I don't blame you. Armistead gets all touchy feely and wants to man hug everybody when we greet new members. Just smack him with a rolled up newspaper or stuff a pretzel in his mouth and he'll calm down. {low blood sugar I think}
Truculence:06: That's aggressively brutal of you to say.

Step back FF, it's my axe now and we need the fire wood.:stare:

LOL first picture! :har:

Wolferz

12-19-14, 04:41 AM

LOL first picture! :har:

:D
Say, weren't you the Steersman for the Titanic?

Boy! When the captain asked for ice, you took it way too literal!:haha:

Aktungbby

12-19-14, 11:51 AM

Fellow bilge rats: BAD NEWS-THIS AM! My computer was hacked sometime during the night. Nothing serious so far, but it seems my previously insensitive vituperations have attracted the close attention of 'fatboy of the wasteland'. Our government seems incapable of even a token cyberdefense:oops:! Therefore, To make amends and save :subsim: from further cyber-attacks, I have taken it upon myself-as the BILGE'S Foreign Minister-to nominate a new Bilgerat Emeritus as a golden-palm token of good will, amity, toadying sycophancy and conciliatory deference in the spirit of Christmas! I mean, if Obama can recognize CUBA how can we of the BILGE lag behind!!!:timeout: Lord knows he's got the right toys...oops gotta go- George Cloony's on the line! You keep your friends close but your fatboys even closer!:woot: http://i.guim.co.uk/static/w-700/h--/q-95/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2014/6/16/1402921226116/884be75b-9c75-4b1b-b4d3-7ddf9cd500e2-1020x678.jpeghttp://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb295/Wolferz_2007/12491039-rat--halloween-set--vector-illustration-1.jpg

Tango589

12-20-14, 06:45 AM

I have taken it upon myself-as the BILGE'S Foreign Minister-to nominate a new Bilgerat Emeritus as a golden-palm token of good will, amity, toadying sycophancy and conciliatory deference in the spirit of Christmas!
What will this International Brown-Nosing involve?

Wolferz

12-20-14, 07:34 AM

Little Kim is just a Weeble with a bad hair weave.
We all know that Weebles wobble but they don't fall down unless you toss them from an elevated location.

He deserves NOTHING from us. Ever!

Aktungbby

12-20-14, 08:17 AM

What will this International Brown-Nosing involve?
Well I had a conciliatory steaming bowl of your 'brownest' bilge brew stew in mind...assuming we can get 'fearless leader' to vacate the head temporarily to collect the fixin's. We only serve up fresh ingredients for 'dear revered Fatboy'!:D

Armistead

12-20-14, 09:36 AM

I have been kissing Wolferz's ass for years now as leader and have come accustomed to the taste, odor and texture. I will not bow before a turd with a hairpiece. Let it be known that the bilge has values and limits.

Aktung, if he's on board, we hold you responsible until we can dump him off at the nearest circus.

Also, our cat Titi is missing, has anyone seen her?

Wolferz

12-20-14, 10:40 AM

Kimchi Jong Uh,
is currently attached to the prop guards as shark bait.

I have a hankering for some shark fin soup.:yeah:

Aktungbby

12-20-14, 04:24 PM

What will this International Brown-Nosing involve? A sound drubbing
He deserves NOTHING from us. Ever!
:yeah:

Aktung, if he's on board, we hold you responsible until we can dump him off at the nearest circus. Duly noted! AS COB, The crew will be assigned Dennis Rodman masks to set the Revered Fatboy at ease. Armistead: please refrain from ancestor worship during this delicate phase of the conspiracy.:D https://img1.etsystatic.com/051/0/10152812/il_340x270.687526125_m851.jpg
Swamprat is the key man here!:haha: He's big enough to pull it off-wear the dress- and the tire iron tipped thumpers we ol' truckers use will be duck-taped to his thighs for swift distribution.http://www.truck-drivers-money-saving-tips.com/images/tire-thumpers-21558866.jpg He's already been a tarbaby of sorts and I've talked Firefgtr out of of his nuptual fetish on this one! He'll stick to his pink turnout gear:O:. http://cdn.sportsmemorabilia.com/sports-product-image/1-t5236043-.jpgThis shot proves the meal plan will work: a little Bilge borscht, some feigned comeraderiehttp://i.huffpost.com/gadgets/slideshows/283873/slide_283873_2169083_free.jpg and phhhhhttt his hackin' days are Kaput! -the Revered Michelin Man is tire thumped into sharkfin soup bait...and we keep his used sub! Let's not blow it and let him feed us to his dogs (his own uncle?!!) on this!:o NOTE: Tango gets an all-wood thumper-He's our churchman and may not draw blood as with Bishop Odo at Hastings-I'm not insensitive here; and we all need the closequarters REPEL BOARDER drill anyhow!http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/9/9c/Odo_bayeux_tapestry.png/1024px-Odo_bayeux_tapestry.png

Wolferz

12-20-14, 07:05 PM

I've come to view the tapestries.:o

Aktungbby

12-20-14, 07:54 PM

I've come to view the tapestries.:o

Well then I've picked out the right one-Odo, the bishop, was William(the Bastard's) half brother a 'fearless leader' in his own right-as depicted- and probably the richest man ever to live in England based on his holdings and 'loot' from the conquest...he greed was still such that William (now 'the Conqueror') had to incarcerate him for a spell (5 years). What ya gotta do to lose a bad nickname I tell ya.:timeout: Odo would have made a fine bilge rat IMHO: "Little good is recorded of Odo, and it was recorded that his vast wealth was gained by extortion and robbery. His ambitions were boundless and his morals lax...:O:He probably bribed the stitcher ladies to look that good in the tapestry:hmmm:

Eichhörnchen

12-20-14, 09:03 PM

Have you not had time to read my study of one of the lesser-known personalities involved in this historical event, in Stealhead's "Story/prose Game" ??

nikimcbee

12-20-14, 09:25 PM

http://cdn.sportsmemorabilia.com/sports-product-image/1-t5236043-.jpg

Tarjak?

http://i.guim.co.uk/static/w-700/h--/q-95/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2014/6/16/1402921226116/884be75b-9c75-4b1b-b4d3-7ddf9cd500e2-1020x678.jpeg

Stuck in the wrong thread?

Armistead

12-20-14, 10:34 PM

Well then I've picked out the right one-Odo, the bishop, was William(the Bastard's) half brother a 'fearless leader' in his own right-as depicted- and probably the richest man ever to live in England based on his holdings and 'loot' from the conquest...he greed was still such that William (now 'the Conqueror') had to incarcerate him for a spell (5 years). What ya gotta do to lose a bad nickname I tell ya.:timeout: Odo would have made a fine bilge rat IMHO: "Little good is recorded of Odo, and it was recorded that his vast wealth was gained by extortion and robbery. His ambitions were boundless and his morals lax...:O:He probably bribed the stitcher ladies to look that good in the tapestry:hmmm:

I still can't decide if you're a genius or mad....both. Your vocabulary exceeds my brain cells....

Shut up Wolfer....

swamprat69er

12-21-14, 12:24 AM

I still can't decide if you're a genius or mad....both. Your vocabulary exceeds my brain cell....

Shut up Wolfer....
I fixed it for you.:har:

fireftr18

12-21-14, 01:03 AM

He's already been a tarbaby of sorts and I've talked Firefgtr out of of his nuptual fetish on this one! He'll stick to his pink turnout gear:O:

https://www.flickr.com/photos/athenasarmoury/5169922701/in/photostream/

Aktungbby

12-21-14, 09:14 AM

https://www.flickr.com/photos/athenasarmoury/5169922701/in/photostream/ (https://www.flickr.com/photos/athenasarmoury/5169922701/in/photostream/)
SPLICE THE MAINBRACE:woot:http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/4/4c/StrawberryQuickBunny.jpgjust to keep it 'in the pink' so to speak!:up:

Wolferz

12-21-14, 10:27 AM

I still can't decide if you're a genius or mad....both. Your vocabulary exceeds my brain cells....

Shut up Wolfer....

You said it, not me.:rock:

My get up and go got up and went, so I will spare you.
This time.:D

Armistead

12-21-14, 08:12 PM

SPLICE THE MAINBRACE:woot:http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/4/4c/StrawberryQuickBunny.jpgjust to keep it 'in the pink' so to speak!:up:

Where are we gonna get the milk, is Wolferz lactating again?

Wolferz

12-22-14, 07:32 AM

Where are we gonna get the milk, is Wolferz lactating again?
Are you blind?
The cow is tied up on the pier and it's your turn to do the milking.

Aktung will put anything bearing the GOOD HOUSEKEEPING seal in his milk.:O: Usually Vodka.

Making Pink Russians are we?

Tango589

12-22-14, 07:41 AM

The cow is tied up on the pier and it's your turn to do the milking.
Just wondering why the cow only has one teat?:hmmm:

Wolferz

12-22-14, 07:46 AM

Just wondering why the cow only has one teat?:hmmm:

That's udderly ridiculous.

Put your glasses on.:haha:

Aktungbby

12-22-14, 10:52 AM

Just wondering why the cow only has one teat?:hmmm:

Effectively you're right! the poor ol' Bossy has only one functioning teat: Armistead has been sneakily paying the cow 'lip service' and the poor thing has 'bovine mastitis'. He's gotta get his la leche anyway he can. I knew it wasn't Swamprat69er molesting the ol' bossy; he's lactose intolerant. At least Armistead leaves my nanny goat alone-he knows I churn for goat cheese.:03:

Tango589

12-22-14, 12:29 PM

Armistead has been sneakily paying the cow 'lip service'
That is a faintly horrendous thought and I'll thank you not to make me imagine it again.:shifty:

Aktungbby

12-22-14, 12:34 PM

That is a faintly horrendous thought and I'll thank you not to make me imagine it again.:shifty:

It boggled my immoooogination too:O: Bossy was a lookn' shocked too!https://www.colourbox.com/preview/4406953-surprised-cow.jpg

Wolferz

12-23-14, 06:26 AM

I think somebody might be confused or severely myopic.:doh:

If the cow in question only has one teat...
Holy Crap! It's a BULL!
:timeout:
Looks like I'm not having Corn Flakes for breakfast.:hmmm:

Aktungbby

12-23-14, 12:28 PM

WELL as our fearless leader you must occasionally 'take the bull by the horns'! And be seen doing IT! :stare: No outright 'COW-r-dice is permitted in the Bilge- beyond occasional 'timely shirking' of duty like some Italian cruise-ship capitano!:oops: Your choice: new style- ca. 2006>http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/b/b5/Sauteur.JPG/300px-Sauteur.JPG (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Sauteur.JPG)or old style ca.-1600 BC>http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/21/Bull-leaping.jpgWho knows? the BILGE might revive a 'national pastime'-A whole 'lotta BULL...leaping:-?

Wolferz

12-23-14, 12:54 PM

Six maids a milking...
a bull.:huh:

Aktungbby

12-24-14, 03:11 AM

This just in: It seems our little 'drubbing Fatboy scheme' has prompted Sony to stiffen its wimpy First Amendment resolve and release their movie... against our-The BILGERATS- obtaining movie rights to 'Shark Fin Soup'(working title.):O: Dennis Rodman who actually believes in 'freedom of everything' collects royalties on every mask, is a screen guild member; and would gleefully have played himself, like John Malkovitch in Being John Malkovitch and to just keep up with his former BULLS teammate, Michael Jordan in Space JAM opposite all the cartoon characters! Naturally, Revered Fatboy would have been a computer generated character as well, to save production co$t$-essentially he's real life cartoon character anyway. Just the dinero for the idea copywrite would have bulged the Bilges' coffers considerably! DAMN! :Kaleun_Crying:

Wolferz

12-24-14, 06:04 AM

The premise for the Sony film in question is, well, absurd.

I mean, who would spend money to fly half way around the world to interview a cabbage patch kid?:hmmm:

I think I figured out why Rodman likes to visit...
They pay him in gold bars so they can boast:
"We have long yang in Pyongyang and we love you long time"
Ho John!

Eichhörnchen

12-24-14, 02:04 PM

http://i.imgur.com/pnXDRfF.png?1

Happy Christmas from Secret Squirrel

swamprat69er

12-24-14, 03:15 PM

http://i.imgur.com/pnXDRfF.png?1

Happy Christmas from Secret Squirrel
Well, thank you! Nuts for the nutty.

Wolferz

12-24-14, 09:25 PM

http://i.imgur.com/pnXDRfF.png?1

Happy Christmas from Secret Squirrel

I bet your wee jaws are sore.:O:

Anybody have a nut cracker?

Aktungbby

12-24-14, 09:35 PM

Anybody have a nut cracker?

http://rlv.zcache.com/the_nutcracker_christmas_postcard-r73a7eef4b2c3446abd58ba5f2feb6022_vgbaq_8byvr_324. jpg:Dhttp://lowres.cartoonstock.com/seasonal-celebrations-nut-nutcracker-teeth-denture-false_teeth-abr0483_low.jpg

swamprat69er

12-24-14, 10:23 PM

For walnuts in the shell, I've got my fist.:D

Wolferz

12-25-14, 10:36 AM

For walnuts in the shell, I've got my fist.:D

Fist works well for hosers too, eh?:yep:

swamprat69er

12-25-14, 10:52 AM

Yupper.

Kaptlt.Endrass

12-25-14, 12:48 PM

I'd input a joke here to start a new disscusion, bu I might offend a couple groups.

Not that I mind, but I like my SubSim account. (And no. It has nothing to do wth sex or porn. Sorry Wolf.)

Wolferz

12-25-14, 01:07 PM

I'd input a joke here to start a new disscusion, bu I might offend a couple groups.

Not that I mind, but I like my SubSim account. (And no. It has nothing to do wth sex or porn. Sorry Wolf.)

The Bilge is for Scallywags and general scallywagging. Feel free to post as you please. Within the limits of the regulations of course.:D

No sex or pron?:wah:
That's okay, I can get that on my own and don't need it here. It might upset the Google prudes.:o
Now, we really want to hear about you- and your friend- and the cow.

If it's all true, I want to party with you guys!
Please include pictures.

swamprat69er

12-25-14, 01:31 PM

No sex or pron?:wah:
Please include pictures.
What is pron?

Buddahaid

12-25-14, 01:34 PM

You need to ask? Go back to school child.
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Ot2E-EUZnnY/TNt-xLFkRbI/AAAAAAAAHIw/dxcHk4Mx6fI/s1600/olivia_wilde_tron_Legacy_new.jpg

Aktungbby

12-25-14, 01:41 PM

What is pron?

My favorite; served with garlic on kebabs! http://thumb1.shutterstock.com/display_pic_with_logo/1207823/183218474/stock-photo-close-up-banana-prawn-or-shrimp-isolated-on-white-with-path-183218474.jpg:D

Kaptlt.Endrass

12-25-14, 02:17 PM

Alright then. I warned you.

Jesus fed 5000 people with 2 loaves of bread and 5 fish.

Who did better?

Kaptlt.Endrass

12-25-14, 02:33 PM

Oh, and Merry Christmas. I got 'Get Out Of Old Folks' Home Free' cards for our officers, and bourbon, whiskey, vodka, beer, scotch, sake, and habu-sake for the rest. First come, first serve.

Oh, wine for Donna. No clue what she prefers. Women. :o

Buddahaid

12-25-14, 04:04 PM

The party's warming up.
http://i225.photobucket.com/albums/dd52/sirwinpb/DSCN1891.jpg (http://s225.photobucket.com/user/sirwinpb/media/DSCN1891.jpg.html)

http://i225.photobucket.com/albums/dd52/sirwinpb/DSCN1889.jpg (http://s225.photobucket.com/user/sirwinpb/media/DSCN1889.jpg.html)

Wolferz

12-25-14, 05:48 PM

^ Who let the joker in?^
:haha:

Halloween was months ago.:O:

nikimcbee

12-25-14, 06:17 PM

http://blog.muchmusic.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/celebrate-nothing.gif

Wolferz

12-26-14, 02:54 AM

http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb295/Wolferz_2007/Grumpy-Cat-01.jpg

It was a nice attempt but failed to stick the landing.

Eichhörnchen

12-26-14, 04:38 AM

^ Who let the joker in?^
:haha:

Halloween was months ago.:O:

http://i.imgur.com/FQP6fMU.png?1

Jimbuna

12-26-14, 09:19 AM

It was a nice attempt but failed to stick the landing.

No malice or intent....thankfully.

Wolferz

12-26-14, 09:43 AM

No malice or intent....thankfully.

I concur.

The one thing I can not tolerate is intolerance.

Wait... wut?:doh:

Kaptlt.Endrass

12-26-14, 05:15 PM

I suppose it was. A valiant attempt nonetheless.

Buddahaid

12-26-14, 05:23 PM

Did I miss something? A deleted post? Intolerable intolerance? :hmmm:

Wolferz

12-26-14, 06:00 PM

Did I miss something? A deleted post? Intolerable intolerance? :hmmm:

Nope.:03:

Tango589

12-26-14, 07:57 PM

Did I miss something? A deleted post? Intolerable intolerance? :hmmm:
Nope, just a joke that seemed to have missed the mark, which has now been edited to remove the questionable punchline.

Armistead

12-27-14, 11:45 PM

Been away a few days and I see the voting has started for "Best of"....

Fella's we have a problem...the bilge thread is in the running, but Aktung's thread ....something about history....is currently leading the contest.

We have a conflict of interest. I say that if Aktung wins he must hand his reward over to the bilge or be known a traitor....You know how we do things in the bilge....everything is shared....:oops:

and when I say everything...I mean everything, water, food, porn, herpes...etc.

Armistead

12-28-14, 12:32 AM

Nope, just a joke that seemed to have missed the mark, which has now been edited to remove the questionable punchline.

dern, PM it to me and i'll repost it....wus, drop and give me 10:D:oops:

swamprat69er

12-28-14, 01:02 AM

dern, PM it to me and i'll repost it....wus, drop and give me 10:D:oops:
PM coming your way.

Armistead

12-28-14, 01:38 AM

.. I found it on....all thing...sickapedia. Maybe go over good some places, Subsim,.....er not so much

Armistead

12-29-14, 11:05 PM

Aktung....I see you have won award for thread of the year, barely beating out the bilge...How dare you start a thread that would undermine your boat, crew and concepts of our lovely thread..You have done all of us here and the bilge itself a great disservice......Just think of the attention and possibly NEW flesh, I mean...CREW, we could've recruited...had Wolferz won. He is currently sobbing in the head...yes, his head is in the head...

Until further notice you are relieved of all your positions and hereby ordered aft to report to Swamp for duty. Your job will be cleaning the tubes after they've been loaded and fired.

I also order you turn in your oil can for now.

We've never had such a conflict of interest where one member put himself on top of another for his personal satisfaction. Well, that didn't come out right, I'm saying, never have I seen such selfishness....well, you gave the secret handshake and screwed us when we weren't looking....well....you did wrong, OK...

At best, you will remain at the bottom position, below all other crew until we can resolve this....Men, if you visit Aktung aft, leave your oil cans at your bunk...

Aktungbby

12-30-14, 12:10 AM

:Kaleun_Crying:High praise from a recipient- 2013- of the same award! I was nominated before I joined the Bilge, in May, and you only nominated the BILGE at the last moment thereby creating this so-called conflict of interest! :k_confused:Hardly fair even for the BILGE:shucks: I even nominated fearless leader for 'Sig of the Year'! What more ratty devotion could you ask for!:O: http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb295/Wolferz_2007/12491039-rat--halloween-set--vector-illustration-1.jpg I mean it's just the coolest sig of all IMHO!:rock:I'll turn in my oilcan but the goat, herpes, pron and very sore cow are mine! :rotfl2:

Armistead

12-30-14, 11:12 AM

Excuses......My win was long before the bilge had formed into a dedicated crew with rules, handshakes, concepts and free old dried up condoms...I had not given the secret handshake yet of my overwhelming win and when I won, I ruined my thread so it would fall into the cesspool of page 104.

Our great leader Zod is in the head screaming "slay him" between his anguished sobs...

We will hold an emergency officers meeting when our leader has completed his sadness.

Jimbuna

12-30-14, 11:15 AM

I'd suggest 50 lashes from the cat but he might actually enjoy that :hmmm:

Buddahaid

12-30-14, 11:43 AM

Gawd no! You know what happened last time. The poor kitty still hasn't recovered.
http://lindasimpson.org/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/co2.jpg

Aktungbby

12-30-14, 01:02 PM

I'd suggest 50 lashes from the cat but he might actually enjoy that :hmmm:

INDEED! MAKE IT 51! http://yoursmiles.org/tsmile/sex/t15141.gifHey Fellas! wait a sec' it's Christmas! could we at least soak the sponge in Hamm's?!!:D "With a will, MR CHRISTIAN!??"http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/5/56/William-Adolphe_Bouguereau_%281825-1905%29_-_The_Flagellation_of_Our_Lord_Jesus_Christ_%281880 %29.jpg/640px-William-Adolphe_Bouguereau_%281825-1905%29_-_The_Flagellation_of_Our_Lord_Jesus_Christ_%281880 %29.jpg

Wolferz

12-30-14, 05:18 PM

Aktungbby,
Your cross is ready for pick up.:D

Your histories mysteries thread was well deserving of the award.
Congratz.:salute:

All I got was this...

http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb295/Wolferz_2007/didymo1x200.jpg

Armistead

12-30-14, 05:25 PM

Wolferz

12-30-14, 05:38 PM

You feign happiness while you plot your revenge, yes?

No, sorry, not the vindictive type.
Besides, why would I want anything cluttering up my Nick panel?

Now, if he pees on my leg...

http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb295/Wolferz_2007/Buried_In_The_Sand.jpg
The retribution will be swift and merciless.:stare:

Armistead

12-30-14, 05:44 PM

See men, our leader has mellowed to the point that even a traitor no longer concerns him........

Aktung has betrayed us all completely and entirely...I say DOWN with Aktung, let's pile upon him in disgust .............our judgments and punishment.

I can not overrule our leader.....men, but let's frag our traitor even if it's not a navy term...You men take care of it....shall he slip and bang his head....will he choke to death with a....chicken in his mouth....an accident at the deck gun.....man overboard and no one heard.....Who are we to judge the karma of fate.....

Wolferz

12-30-14, 06:03 PM

See men, our leader has mellowed to the point that even a traitor no longer concerns him......We can't let this continue...

I'm going to defecate in your grog mug.... again!:arrgh!:

If you see Aktung with a new brown moustache...
Try not to snicker.:shifty:

I'm packing in the carbs in an effort to color match a certain proboscis.:rock:

I'm going to need peanuts. Swallowed whole.

Armistead

12-30-14, 06:34 PM

I'm going to defecate in your grog mug.... again!:arrgh!:

If you see Aktung with a new brown moustache...
Try not to snicker.:shifty:

I'm packing in the carbs in an effort to color match a certain proboscis.:rock:

I'm going to need peanuts. Swallowed whole.

proboscis, i do not know this word....is the intent of the post, while he kissed your arse, you plan to crap in my mouth whole peanuts...?

why do you think i sleep with my mouth duct taped, because it pops open when I sleep at night.....you pull, i wake up, i find you squatted above me, you will be plugged with a flashlight...

Wolferz

12-30-14, 07:25 PM

proboscis, i do not know this word....is the intent of the post, while he kissed your arse, you plan to crap in my mouth whole peanuts...?

why do you think i sleep with my mouth duct taped, because it pops open when I sleep at night.....you pull, i wake up, i find you squatted above me, you will be plugged with a flashlight...

Copy and paste the unknown word into your address bar and the magical intertoobz will tell you it's meaning.

Flashlight plug? Kewl! No more tripping over the cat when I go to the head in the dark.:yeah:

Aktungbby

12-30-14, 07:53 PM

I'm packing in the carbs in an effort to color match a certain proboscis.:rock:

proboscis, i do not know this word....
.

Copy and paste the unknown word into your address bar and the magical intertoobz will tell you it's meaning.

No need to go to such lengths ...one proboscis comln' up! http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/4/40/An_elephant_seal_from_NOAA.jpg/1024px-An_elephant_seal_from_NOAA.jpgTwo proboscii settling things for control of the BILGE! http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/5/59/MacquarieIslandElephantSeal.JPG/1024px-MacquarieIslandElephantSeal.JPG

Armistead

12-30-14, 08:00 PM

something about a long snout or protruding mouth.....I dated a girl with one of those.....

Wolferz

12-31-14, 06:35 AM

something about a long snout or protruding mouth.....I dated a girl with one of those.....

I remember her...:huh:

http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb295/Wolferz_2007/th.jpg

Armistead

12-31-14, 10:04 AM

I remember her...:huh:

http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb295/Wolferz_2007/th.jpg

yea, but she came with a few advantages.. I just couldn't deal when she got mad and started trying to talk fast.

Tango589

12-31-14, 10:39 AM

The sound effect I got for that in my head was 'flubbedy flubbedy flubbedy':doh:

Wolferz

12-31-14, 10:46 AM

No more searching after the break up?

http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb295/Wolferz_2007/301_meme.png

Armistead

12-31-14, 11:09 AM

As you men and Aktung know our alarm/bell system has been whacked for sometimes and no one can figure out to fix it and they won't fill our request for new parts. Wolferz told me to resolve this so I ordered us a rooster. The rooster is trained and will be tied next to the mic. Please learn the 3 following calls, so when the rooster sounds off, you'll know what's up.

1. Moderator watching us.
2. Battlestations.
3. Dive Dive....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJV7Owa8tK4

swamprat69er

12-31-14, 11:22 AM

Aktungbby

12-31-14, 11:47 AM

WE"LL eat the rooster! I fixed the problem:smug: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_aAnKhbhCw (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_aAnKhbhCw)

Armistead

12-31-14, 12:14 PM

WE"LL eat the rooster! I fixed the problem:smug: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_aAnKhbhCw (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_aAnKhbhCw)

Did you wire it into the microwave.....and don't dare eat that rooster, I spent every dime we had in the coffee can on it and we took out a 4 year loan on it.... At $79 a month, just 30% interest, I thought it a heck of a deal for such a trained rooster.....Eat one of the crew if you must, don't eat the rooster...I was told if we can't pay for it, we could sell it easily and get our money back and then some... I didn't fall off the turnip truck yesterday.....we use it for the horn and can double our money after the war...

Armistead

12-31-14, 01:42 PM

The sound effect I got for that in my head was 'flubbedy flubbedy flubbedy':doh:

more like a flock of geese flying south for the winter..

Jimbuna

12-31-14, 03:03 PM

1. Moderator watching us.

Shouldn't be long before he dies of exhaustion then.

Armistead

12-31-14, 03:29 PM

Shouldn't be long before he dies of exhaustion then.

at least you have us all in one place...

We're waiting for Aktung to turn his reward over to the Bilge, if he doesn't, we're gonna send him back through the hatch to you.....do with him as you please...he's broken in...

Aktungbby

12-31-14, 04:58 PM

I'd suggest 50 lashes from the cat but he might actually enjoy that :hmmm:

We're waiting for Aktung to turn his reward over to the Bilge, if he doesn't, we're gonna send him back through the hatch to you.....do with him as you please...he's broken in...

O Lord make it LII then! And tell C. Longinus, up on the hill: "more Hamm's on the sponge-and keep it cold!"! No need for a 'cat' when you've a perfectly good flagellum to handhttp://www.bible-history.com/past/flagrum9.jpg and an old British Bulldog Praetor (Legio IX deserter?) to use it. JEEZE! if he's any good, I'll fire my pricey dominatrix! After mom's passionate:shifty: riding-crop spankings:doh: this's merely a light dusting off IMHO!:hmph: http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMTM4NTA3NDI1Nl5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMzk0MDU5NA@@._ V1_SX640_SY720_.jpg (http://www.imdb.com/media/rm4251170816/tt0335345?ref_=ttmi_mi_all_sf_3#)

Jimbuna

01-01-15, 07:18 AM

at least you have us all in one place...

We're waiting for Aktung to turn his reward over to the Bilge, if he doesn't, we're gonna send him back through the hatch to you.....do with him as you please...he's broken in...

Appreciate a few days notice so Kim can starve the dogs a little in preparation.

Aktungbby

01-01-15, 12:51 PM

Appreciate a few days notice so Kim can starve the dogs a little in preparation. Shades of poor Ragnar! Nothing goes outta style in Northhumbria (Aella's Wolf pit) If Kim will let me borrow a butter knife to hold too, I'll jump in willingly...Armistead must have a few extra half starved rescue curs to round out your wolfhound pack...we'll just baste me in police station bacon fat to give it all 'sabor'...will there be Hamm's in Valhalla?! :woot:Religion ain't the issue-it's all about the beer! And if we could do it at Kornati where they actually filmed(the Vikings) off Croatia.... http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/79/Mana_3.jpgEVEN BETTER!:sunny:

Armistead

01-01-15, 12:59 PM

Appreciate a few days notice so Kim can starve the dogs a little in preparation.

We like to fair in the bilge punishments, we'll send him up naked covered in peanut butter...the curs may just lick him for a few hours, may take chunks out....it's fun to watch, no one knows for sure what will happen.....

Jimbuna

01-01-15, 01:11 PM

Butter knife, peanut butter, these hounds aren't all that picky....simply ravenous.

http://s8.postimg.org/hdvswpnmp/animatedwerewolf.gif (http://postimage.org/)

Armistead

01-01-15, 01:40 PM

he's seen worse down here in the bilge and use to bad breath.

Hey, how bout letting us out for some air, set up an arena like days of yore so we can cheer and boo as needed....? I still have my Ceasar costume from our last aft party.....

Wolferz

01-01-15, 01:51 PM

Shades of poor Ragnar! Nothing goes outta style in Northhumbria (Aella's Wolf pit) If Kim will let me borrow a butter knife to hold too, I'll jump in willingly...Armistead must have a few extra half starved rescue curs to round out your wolfhound pack...we'll just baste me in police station bacon fat to give it all 'sabor'...will there be Hamm's in Valhalla?! :woot:Religion ain't the issue-it's all about the beer! And if we could do it at Kornati where they actually filmed(the Vikings) off Croatia.... http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/79/Mana_3.jpgEVEN BETTER!:sunny:

You're going to move that stack of rocks over there, --->
And back again.
<---:D

swamprat69er

01-01-15, 02:13 PM

After your regular duties (off duty time) there is nothing like the coal pile to instill a little discipline in a person AND loss of 50% of pay. But only your 50% NOT the 50% that goes to your spouse.

Aktungbby

01-01-15, 02:25 PM

, we'll send him up naked covered in peanut butter...the curs may just lick him for a few hours, may take chunks out....it's fun to watch, no one knows for sure what will happen..... No no no! I just gotta go 'blade in hand'; doesn't even have to be a good silver-plate spreader. @ Armistead! "Covered in peanut butter":doh: We must have the same dominatrix-she's fired! or you tried a new sneaky tactic last night on your menaged out 'king size' bed...well at least something was king sized!!:k_confused: "Gentleman" my foot! you been wearing yourself out with my goat-cheese nanny again! Ol' George Washington Carver would be proud of an ol Southern boy like you being so imaginative at that: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/b8/George_Washington_Carver-peanut_specimen.jpeg <peanuts) In "them ol' peanut fields back home'" at least you can keep time to your favorite Civil War marching tune "Eating Goober Peas" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOxw6vbDyo (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOxw6vbDyo) by way of explanation to the rest of the planet
:har: We'll give Wolfertz+ the whole peanut leftovers !!! @ Jimbuna; did you notice the guy with the flagella a few posts (#924) back-the resemblance is amazing-hence the post title! You can do extra work-bring your own qwerty- you should be paid for what you do? You look damn good in a lorica with a pugio on your hip!!!:O:

Armistead

01-01-15, 02:39 PM

well, if we cover you in peanut butter and roll you in cracker crumbs you might have a fighting chance. Really, what's the fun of sending you to the curs KNOWING you're gonna die. The known outcome takes away the suspense...

The fact knowing you might not die, will only make it more entertaining when you do......

If you live through it, like in the movies, you Aktung Maximus can scream to us...."Are you not entertained".....as we watch the dogs hump you like rabbits.......

Hopefully and rather, I will be looking to the biggest cur as we eye each other and he grips you by the throat and looks to me for the thumb signal....

:down:

for your treachery to the Bilge....

haha, as for the king size, you're in the wrong forum if you want to know that ending...

Aktungbby

01-01-15, 03:12 PM

haha, as for the king size, you're in the wrong forum if you want to know that ending...

I still have my Ceasar costume from our last aft party..... Sorry! my interest is waaaay down:down::huh: "Caesar: "Every woman's husband and every man's wife". Thus is Julius Caesar characterized by Curio, according to Suetonius.
Julius Caesar was a man of great intensity. He openly enjoyed the "company" of both men and women and there were many scandals to go with this. He never hesitated to "borrow" other noblemen's wives and also "lend" his own wife Pompeia. (The NAG?) He was notorious for this and a typical ditty of the time, after his triumph in Gaul, says:
"Look to your wives, ye citizens, a lecher bald we bring,
In Gaul adultery cost thee gold, here 'tis but borrowing." After what you did to my poor cheese goat...:wah:.
http://www.metmuseum.org/toah/images/h2/h2_10.210.78.jpgyou stick with the toga:yep: I'm in my 'fishy murmillo' getup! for the slower movin' guys:D FYI: this is the anniversary of the inauguration of the Julian Calender! 46BC! we may not all be on the same wave length; but we're on the same day.....:timeout:

Wolferz

01-01-15, 03:24 PM

You must stop tipping Aktung over.
Every time you do that, it takes days to clean up the mess after it's deciphered.:-?

Armistead

01-01-15, 03:24 PM

[COLOR=orange]
Julius Caesar was a man of great intensity. He openly enjoyed the "company" of both men and women and there were many scandals to go with this. He never hesitated to "borrow" other noblemen's wives and also "lend" his own wife Pompeia. (The NAG?) He was notorious for this and a typical ditty of the time, after his triumph in Gaul, says:
"Look to your wives, ye citizens, a lecher bald we bring,

Are you say'n I don't have the ability to fill the toga of Julius? I enjoy the company of both men and women, just I don't company men openly, only aft parties in the ....aft.....Being stuck in the Bilge, one does what he must. I have no problem borrowing or lending,....my credit score is above average, but I only lend to trusted friends.....and you have proved you are not..

Aktungbby

01-01-15, 04:27 PM

but I only lend to trusted friends... my credit score is above average.....and you have proved you are not.. POOR J.C. (the Roman one) should have listened to his (2nd) wife....a 'strange thing happened on the way to the forum'....and he had no 'trusted' friends----sounds very Bilgey to me! The more so as my B'day is naerly the IDES of March!??? You may fill his toga at your own risk; Don't worry about your credit score!>>> your 'score' problem is elsewhere::D 'as for wives there is a famous quote: Caesar divorced Pompeia, saying that "my wife ought not even to be under suspicion." This gave rise to a proverb, sometimes expressed: "Caesar's wife must be above suspicion." She was as bad as he was...in an emperor sized bed! after it's deciphered Yeah! occasionally my riddle gets tossed outta my enigma as it departs my conundrum...:-? http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/7/7d/Eid_Mar.jpg/220px-Eid_Mar.jpg (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Eid_Mar.jpg)coin issued two years later 42BC "Ides of March" under 'the cap of freedom' by Brutus-bad idea:dead: nice pugios though...useful in the forum...or the bilge!

Armistead

01-01-15, 04:52 PM

WTH.......:huh:

Wolferz

01-02-15, 06:56 AM

WTH.......:huh:

His eyes wide open.:up:

Now assist me in cleaning up what spilled out of his concussion.
Grab that air hose and set the compressor on LUDICROUS.

It's the only way to get all of the cottage cheese outta here.:yep:

Wouldja look at dat? I passed the 5k point, ten posts back. I wasn't watching the mile markers.

Tango589

01-02-15, 07:19 AM

Fellas, fellas, I've got news concerning our New Year gig at the Foggy Valley Home for the Perpetually Bewildered, Podunk, Alabama. The gig is off. Apparently one of the inmates, ahem, patients had the clever idea of wiring a klaxon into the microwave so the hard of hearing could hear when dinner was done. (vid here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_aAnKhbhCw ) Unfortunately on the 3rd use the whole thing went boom and burned the home to the ground. There were no casualties, what with there only being 7 patients and 3 staff, so all were evacuated safely.

The good news is they had already paid for their tickets (repeatedly) to we are $5,000 in the kitty and have got away scot-free!:rock:

Would you be interested in finding another gig, or should we just keep the band for our own entertainment?

Wolferz

01-02-15, 07:48 AM

Armistead

01-02-15, 10:57 AM

The good news is they had already paid for their tickets (repeatedly) to we are $5,000 in the kitty and have got away scot-free!:rock:

Would you be interested in finding another gig, or should we just keep the band for our own entertainment?

I say we pay off the loan on the rooster with it.. .

Get another gig if you can with the band, we've got to make money somehow with a lack of new members to video during confession....We don't do the band, it's back to our stripper act at the gay nursing home....

Tango589

01-02-15, 11:09 AM

I've made a few enquiries, there is potential for a birthday bash we could play at. It's at 'Putting Bob's Golfing Emporium', next door to Crappy Jacks Bait and Tackle, Okeechobee, Florida. Their chief saleswoman, Glynness is having her 93rd birthday and they would like us to play. I've negotiated a $200 fee for us, plus a helping of birthday cake each. What do you think?

Aktungbby

01-02-15, 11:48 AM

Replenish our spirits poste haste.

Everyone sit Injun style with the back of your hands on your knees. Middle fingers pressed to your thumbs and chant with me....
Rummmmmmmmmmm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AfuQd_xZlKw&list=PL83041B61597C7007&index=4

^I like it! I've attached this one https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kWB1U4oW4yw&list=PL83041B61597C7007&index=5 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kWB1U4oW4yw&list=PL83041B61597C7007&index=5) to the goat to drown out its pitiful bleats; so Armistead won't get away with tainting the cheese supply. I'm afraid our cow is pretty much a 'lost cause'; maybe burgers... but I hate munching anything I knew the name of:huh: Does the band do Glenn Miller? Swamprat loves swing and I still can do a sedate Black Bottom, Carolina Shag, or the Lindy Hop if put to it. We'll leave the Boogie Woogie and Jitterbug to Tango and Eichhornchen:O: I imagine I'll have to break out the new Convers Allstar tennis shoes to save the deck paint. And no Clog dancing Armistead!...it leaves dents.

Armistead

01-02-15, 12:00 PM

Tango589

01-02-15, 12:06 PM

How much would it cost on the Greyhound?

Armistead

01-02-15, 12:07 PM

^I like it! I've attached this one https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kWB1U4oW4yw&list=PL83041B61597C7007&index=5 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kWB1U4oW4yw&list=PL83041B61597C7007&index=5) to the goat to drown out its pitiful bleats; so Armistead won't get away with tainting the cheese supply. I'm afraid our cow is pretty much a 'lost cause'; maybe burgers... but I hate munching anything I knew the name of:huh: Does the band do Glenn Miller? Swamprat loves swing and I still can do a sedate Black Bottom, Carolina Shag, or the Lindy Hop if put to it. We'll leave the Boogie Woogie and Jitterbug to Tango and Eichhornchen:O: I imagine I'll have to break out the new Convers Allstar tennis shoes to save the deck paint. And no Clog dancing Armistead!...it leaves dents.

Wolferz forbids me from putting my taps on my boots and clogging on deck. Last time I did it, someone thought we were under air machine gun attack and sounded off battlestations waking up Wolferz in the head... You know Wolferz, he hates being stirred from his slumber and running to the con fer nuth'n these days...and he never leaves the head when someone in there is giving confession...

Armistead

01-02-15, 12:12 PM

How much would it cost on the Greyhound?

well, all of us I don't think $200 will cover it, unless he gives us a discount for play'n during the ride..We can pack up a batch of bilge stew to eat on the way, maybe do a lil street playing during potty stops....Maybe try Hank's Used Used Car Lot.....see if you can get us a old station wagon for cheap.

and don't bring up hitchhiking again....

Aktungbby

01-02-15, 12:43 PM

well, all of us I don't think $200 will cover it, unless he gives us a discount for play'n during the ride..We can pack up a batch of bilge stew to eat on the way, maybe do a lil street playing during potty stops....Maybe try Hank's Used Used Car Lot.....see if you can get us a old station wagon for cheap.

and don't bring up hitchhiking again....
What potty stops ??? We're already using the communal engine room can so this is no big stretch. Of course this a 'break' from the pigboat generally, so I recommend a little expense for relative luxury-they actually have running water and light up when you enter; we'll let Wolfertz have the rear one so he's feelin' at right at home: I'll take charge as I generally handle 10-20 of these at a time on film shoots..."it's a dirty job, but..." And if we can find an old country squire wagon 239 V8-sleeps six- with a tow package we're set! I grew up car-campin' in these babies! The roof is for the Hamm's cooler(s):D; your moonshine goes in the console!:up:
http://royalrestrooms.com/wp-content/gallery/weddings/2-stall-platinum-portable-restroom.jpgbetterhttp://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/9/9c/Ford_Country_Squire_mfd_1954_5700cc.JPG/1280px-Ford_Country_Squire_mfd_1954_5700cc.JPG

Wolferz

01-02-15, 04:28 PM

You want us to drive in the country, Squire?:timeout:

I have a cure for that nonsense....

/heads for the galley in search of a large potato.

Aktungbby

01-02-15, 04:59 PM

A potato won't work! There's so many holes in the exhaust manifold (Minnesota road salt) and we could see the road through the floor boards:nope: The things are like Russian tanks! I passed my driver test in one! AC was 4 x 60 ! ; and the concept of 'living' in a vehicle was no issue for me when Freightliners came along. There were 4 families we did this with and winter ski trips (studded snow tires?!!) to MN and WS lake cabins-(Ice fishing and ski places) I recall this 4 car convoy had 2 Walkie-Talkies too. Guess who got assigned to engine-start detail on frigid nights to insure arrival at the ski lifts-actually a good little money maker as other lodge guests would simply hand over the key and a $10 dollar-bill (in the '60'$:up:) to insure a quick start in the AM...with screamin' kids. At home there were resistance wire plugs to the water-filled radiators:timeout: to keep'em thawed-anti freeze...never heard of till the late 70's:nope:???!.

swamprat69er

01-02-15, 05:23 PM

The only dance I am capable of due to a bad back
http://youtu.be/bXUP8CJuPlI and worse knees caused by http://youtu.be/kCvYLQb-NDw

Armistead

01-02-15, 06:12 PM

Wolferz

01-02-15, 07:22 PM

I guess I'll just have to go make the coil wire disappear.:arrgh!:

For spare parts that old, you'll need to visit an old parts store in Corydon, Indiana. The place probably still has spark plugs for a model T.

They did when the owner of our shop brought his dad's old model T in to get it running. Soaked the pistons with kerosene for a few days, changed the oil and plugs and she cranked right up...literally.

Aktungbby

01-02-15, 07:47 PM

Reminds of the 65 Rambler my mom drove with I was a lad...The floorboards were rusted out in the back on one side and my brother and I would pee through it....wonder if we ever pissed anyone off behind.

That's it then! no potty breaks required; just holier-than-thou floor-boards! "Some yellow always flows from the bilgemobile"-to misquote our 'fearless leader':O:! Of course we could emulate the murderous female astronaut who didn't want to be video'd at gas stations and wore Depends to avoid the issue entirely. We're all gettin' on a bit and need the practice... for the inevitable...just ahead.:dead: I'd reissue the Dennis Rodman Masks but our route takes us through Ferguson and similar redneck turf and I don't wanna die wearing an adult diaper on a trumped-up DWB:shifty: Armistead: pissed anyone off behind?!! You were lucky the revenuers/cops didn't think you were dumping the tainty moonshine out of you mom's rambler. I know your forbears practically started the Whiskey Rebellion and a'gitten' around incognito is a tradition with yer clan....http://on-the-step.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/Nose-Art-B29Moonshine.jpg (http://on-the-step.com/aircraft-nose-art/nose-art-b29moonshine-2/)

Aktungbby

01-02-15, 08:11 PM

The only dance I am capable of due to a bad back
http://youtu.be/bXUP8CJuPlI and worse knees caused by http://youtu.be/kCvYLQb-NDw

Hey! I can do the waltz with you!!; but I get to wear the blue dress with my bride's old Victoria Secret stuff; you already did the wedding dress thing; and Fireftr18 can really strut his stuff this time too, while we switch off at the cotillion punch bowl. Somebody's gotta shave my back though-I don't wanna look like a Sasquatch in drag. Maybe Tango can hook up a NoNo to the microwave! I can't do hot-wax anymore since I nearly ruined myself trying to look decent in a speedo a few years back...:stare: just for Armistead: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CaUWs63iBz0 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CaUWs63iBz0)

swamprat69er

01-02-15, 10:07 PM

I guess in North America we could call that 'shagging', it has a whole different meaning to the Brits though.:D

Armistead

01-02-15, 10:31 PM

That's it then! no potty breaks required; just holier-than-thou floor-boards! "Some yellow always flows from the bilgemobile"-to misquote our 'fearless leader':O:! Of course we could emulate the murderous female astronaut who didn't want to be video'd at gas stations and wore Depends to avoid the issue entirely. We're all gettin' on a bit and need the practice... for the inevitable...just ahead.:dead: I'd reissue the Dennis Rodman Masks but our route takes us through Ferguson and similar redneck turf and I don't wanna die wearing an adult diaper on a trumped-up DWB:shifty: Armistead: pissed anyone off behind?!! You were lucky the revenuers/cops didn't think you were dumping the tainty moonshine out of you mom's rambler. I know your forbears practically started the Whiskey Rebellion and a'gitten' around incognito is a tradition with yer clan....http://on-the-step.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/Nose-Art-B29Moonshine.jpg (http://on-the-step.com/aircraft-nose-art/nose-art-b29moonshine-2/)

My point on the peeing through the hole was to keep us out of diapers to start with....I figured that was a given since Wolferz makes us wear them on patrol. Guess you weren't around when the US DD make a practice depth charge run on us, dropping a charge 2000 yards away and we all shat ourselves...They named our sub the USS Pamper...after that.

Aktungbby

01-02-15, 10:36 PM

I thought it was the USS Pampernito:timeout: coulda' sworn I just saw that one too while out under the Golden Gate....http://www.maritime.org/img/pampbridge.jpg

fireftr18

01-02-15, 11:53 PM

Hey! I can do the waltz with you!!; but I get to wear the blue dress with my bride's old Victoria Secret stuff; you already did the wedding dress thing; and Fireftr18 can really strut his stuff this time too, while we switch off at the cotillion punch bowl. Somebody's gotta shave my back though-I don't wanna look like a Sasquatch in drag. Maybe Tango can hook up a NoNo to the microwave! I can't do hot-wax anymore since I nearly ruined myself trying to look decent in a speedo a few years back...:stare: just for Armistead: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CaUWs63iBz0 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CaUWs63iBz0)

You keep me out of this one. I was just sitting in my corner drinking, not bothering anyone, and now you have to drag me into it. I think I'll join Donna on shore leave. After conning the newbies into scrubbing the galley and pots clean, I'm now resigning as head chef of The Bilge.

Armistead

01-03-15, 12:18 AM

You keep me out of this one. I was just sitting in my corner drinking, not bothering anyone, and now you have to drag me into it. I think I'll join Donna on shore leave. After conning the newbies into scrubbing the galley and pots clean, I'm now resigning as head chef of The Bilge.

I sent your request to Wolferz {slid it under the door} He sent it back after he peed on it. Not sure if that is an approval or not. You're to remain on station until further notice...

Aktungbby

01-03-15, 02:22 AM

and now you have to drag me into it. .
"drag" is what it's all about! Moreover, I give you Britain's First Sea Lord and inventer of the modern big gun navy, Admiral John 'Jackie' Fisher: "He was not keen on sport, but he was a highly proficient dancer. He insisted that the officers of his ship learn to dance. Fisher cancelled the leave of midshipmen who would not take part. He introduced the practice of junior officers dancing on deck when the band was playing for senior officers' wardroom dinners. This practice spread through the fleet. He broke with the then ball tradition of dancing with a different partner for each dance, instead adopting the scandalous habit of choosing one good dancer as his partner for the evening His ability to charm all comers of all social classes made up for his sometimes blunt or tactless comments."http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/6/6a/Adm._John_Fisher.jpg/220px-Adm._John_Fisher.jpg (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Adm._John_Fisher.jpg)Blunt/tackless comments in the bilge!??
midshipmen??http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/MTYwMFgxMDY5/z/4kIAAOSwxH1UHfE1/$_35.JPG:k_confused::Kaleun_Goofy:WELL! There it is in a nutshell! You will be issued new Converse tenners to save the deck paint and you will only drink at the punch-bowl between waltzes with Swamp; instead of useless self-enabling debauchery 'in your corner'. And you will ooze Charm! Cutting a rug is as vital as climbing fire ladders and it will keep you in shape from all the nibbling you do while cheffing in the galley. You may of course change partners occasionally to avoid 'scandalously' dancing only with Swamp...good as he'll be looking in his tux...assuming he's wearing his girdle...I know I will, just to squeeze into that blue gown I've taken a shine to.:O: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXy7qYAKrfc (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXy7qYAKrfc)

Tango589

01-03-15, 06:24 AM

http://royalrestrooms.com/wp-content/gallery/weddings/2-stall-platinum-portable-restroom.jpgbetterhttp://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/9/9c/Ford_Country_Squire_mfd_1954_5700cc.JPG/1280px-Ford_Country_Squire_mfd_1954_5700cc.JPG
That's the transport sorted, good idea Aktung! What'll it cost in gas money?
I guess in North America we could call that 'shagging', it has a whole different meaning to the Brits though.:DWe'll have none of that behaviour unless we find a ready supply of willing 'women of negotiable affection'.

You keep me out of this one. I was just sitting in my corner drinking, not bothering anyone, and now you have to drag me into it. I think I'll join Donna on shore leave. After conning the newbies into scrubbing the galley and pots clean, I'm now resigning as head chef of The Bilge.You can't go on shore leave and abandon us, we need you on the tea chest bass!

Also, I've had a meeting with 'Putting' Bob and he said if we can supply a dance troupe as well he'll up our fee to $350. We'd best get practising our Waltz, Foxtrot, Jive, Jitterbug, Kansas City Shuffle and anything else we can think of.

swamprat69er

01-03-15, 06:58 AM

a ready supply of willing 'women of negotiable affection'.

Here is a female who looks willing.

http://www.substance.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/wooly-sheep-ramona-johnston.jpg
I'll get my boots!
http://besimplystunning.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/Sheepskin-Boots.jpg

Armistead

01-03-15, 09:08 AM

I can do a mean Texas Two Step and Western Box Waltz.. Back in my day I won numerous contest in the backwoods country bar scene.

Aktungbby

01-03-15, 11:02 AM

We'll have none of that behaviour unless we find a ready supply of willing 'women of negotiable affection'.

AHEM! in my anthropological studies of human-kind I have come to the conclusion that ALL women are of 'negotiable affection' some are just more formal about it than others; You 'shaggers' picked up on it in WWII with the famous complaint: "over paid, over sexed and over here" The GIs had a come-back - calling the Brits, "underpaid, undersexed and under Eisenhower". Still works!!! :smug:I gave my beloved SWMBO a Victoria's Secret gift card and chocolates for Christmas. She made dinner...I just settle for getting fed now and swilling the cooking sherry like Fireftr in the 'corner' of the galley!:hmph: http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/oversexed-overpaid-and-over-here.html (http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/oversexed-overpaid-and-over-here.html) @ Swamp: those are very 'shaggy' lookn' boots!:rotfl2:

swamprat69er

01-03-15, 12:02 PM

Swamp: those are very 'shaggy' lookn' boots!:rotfl2:
They are sheep boots. I don't think I need to tell you how you work with them.:D

Aktungbby

01-03-15, 12:33 PM

They are sheep boots. I don't think I need to tell you how they operate.:D

The trash-romance novel I'm working on is actually titled :The Joy of Shaggy Boots ; Or perhaps 50 Shags of Grey!:hmmm: I need Donna to come back and ghost write the steamy parts as SWMBO informs me I'm utterly clueless in the boudoir. And yes Armistead, we'll work in a JIF peanut-butter scenario just for the screen play/commercial tie in. Should be an irresistible must read at Wal-Mart check out counters everywhere! We're goin for the mature audience; to insure sales, Fabio has agreed to be on the front cover http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/f/fe/Fabio_Lanzoni_2014.jpg/220px-Fabio_Lanzoni_2014.jpg (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Fabio_Lanzoni_2014.jpg) in exchange for membership in the BILGE and a "men you think are gorgeous" thread at :subsim: @ Fireftr; I know there are fireman calendars out there-restrain yourself for the moment. https://fbcdn-profile-a.akamaihd.net/hprofile-ak-xap1/v/t1.0-1/p160x160/10898294_10152479255422553_2233437962486289660_n.j pg?oh=90febe2c8322445a3d934e1fbcb994c5&oe=553662B5&__gda__=1428609632_0c475a67770548ac1372244c9f60069 d We'll let you manage the 2015 BILGE Calendar. @ Tango got that NONO doin' YesYes yet? I'll need it for the calendar shot.

Tango589

01-03-15, 01:37 PM

Tango got that NONO doin' YesYes yet? I'll need it for the calendar shothttp://www.oddee.com/_media/imgs/articles2/a97812_h4.jpg Yep, just set
the nuke to full power for 5 minutes and you'll be hot to trot. Listen for the klaxon to signal when it's ready.:yeah:

Aktungbby

01-03-15, 01:45 PM

Yep, just set
the nuke to full power for 5 minutes and you'll be hot to trot. Listen for the klaxon to signal when it's ready.:yeah:

That much fuzz...we'll need the klaxon when it's done too- to sound the ALL CLEAR! With the canola butter and honey'd JIF you can whip up some ersatz 'angel-hair pasta' these brigands will think it's a gourmet feast...at first! Nuthin' get's wasted in the BILGE!:Kaleun_Sick:

Wolferz

01-03-15, 04:05 PM

Oh Man!
I've puked myself into the dry heaves.
:Kaleun_Sick:
Nothing coming up now except my darned socks.

Armistead

01-03-15, 11:15 PM

Aktung,

David Hasselhoff is an honorary member of the bilge....see if you can work him in a secondary role...

swamprat69er

01-03-15, 11:33 PM

Oh Man!
I've puked myself into the dry heaves.
:Kaleun_Sick:
Nothing coming up now except my darned socks.
If you don't darn your socks, then maybe they will stay where they belong.

swamprat69er

01-04-15, 12:14 AM

those sheep boots work for dogs, too.:D

Wolferz

01-04-15, 05:22 AM

those sheep boots work for dogs, too.:D

GO AHEAD AN TRY IT!
I Dares ya...

http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb295/Wolferz_2007/iqxrla32lfmlrelexo0r.pnghttp://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb295/Wolferz_2007/brian-griffin-jaw-drop-o.gif

Wolferz

01-04-15, 05:28 AM

Aktung,

David Hasselhoff is an honorary member of the bilge....see if you can work him in a secondary role...

I think he's busy....

http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb295/Wolferz_2007/61872-original.jpg

Armistead

01-04-15, 10:08 AM

At the farmhouse, had the door open, sitting drinking coffee and noticed Bear going nuts at the storm glass door. This lil fella wanting in....cold, wet, whining and so hungry....Beautiful dog, thinking border collie/ great pyrenees....He just had to come to my house....so of course my wife is gonna rescue him and already taking him to her grooming shop and vet in the morning......

I'm thinking I'll keep it as a mascot for the Bilge...and let him run around the farm watching the cows with the Tibets if I can work him in the pack....

http://i651.photobucket.com/albums/uu235/Armistead1424/Armistead1424149/9a026c7c-ab38-4411-908a-0fdb4c89c395_zps747f07cb.jpg

Tango589

01-04-15, 10:41 AM

Great job on the rescue, and he will make a great mascot round here. Also, better behaved than most of the crew!:salute:

Fubar2Niner

01-04-15, 10:56 AM

Beautiful looking pup mate, and well done on the rescue, not so sure about the trousers ;)

Best regards.

Fubar2Niner

Armistead

01-04-15, 11:08 AM

Beautiful looking pup mate, and well done on the rescue, not so sure about the trousers ;)

Best regards.

Fubar2Niner

Yea, I posted it on FB and my friends are having a great time with PJ remarks....oh, that pic is my son, my pj pic is more a work of art, not posted here of course....

fireftr18

01-04-15, 11:45 AM

https://fbcdn-profile-a.akamaihd.net/hprofile-ak-xap1/v/t1.0-1/p160x160/10898294_10152479255422553_2233437962486289660_n.j pg?oh=90febe2c8322445a3d934e1fbcb994c5&oe=553662B5&__gda__=1428609632_0c475a67770548ac1372244c9f60069 d

Aktung, I see you found the calendar where I was put on the cover. :D

Tango589

01-04-15, 11:49 AM

Was that photo originally taken for the 1995 calendar?

Armistead

01-04-15, 12:15 PM

We should do another bilge calendar of our hot bods and market it...It would help cover travel expense...Our last one did good in certain markets, we almost made enuf to cover the cost of making it...the next one should do much better if you guys will use me as the centerfold..

Aktungbby

01-04-15, 12:36 PM

Well at least these guys know how to use a NONO on their backs for the shot:O:http://www.firefighterscalendar.com/art09/guys_fire.jpg@ Armistead; we might just use you at that....if WE can focus on the dog!:haha:!https://fbexternal-a.akamaihd.net/safe_image.php?d=AQCviLNbM_m1di44&w=470&h=246&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postandcourier.com%2Fstoryima ge%2FCP%2F20141230%2FPC0313%2F141239965%2FAR%2F0%2 FAR-141239965.jpg&cfs=1&upscale=1&sx=0&sy=52&sw=843&sh=441https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn2/v/t1.0-9/10888631_312882472234875_2345877659178908935_n.jpg ?oh=417913a6ae225eb4cefba157aa055922&oe=55448EFD&__gda__=1428691463_a060e1e4bd8a7a2a575a6c8b05d93f0 aStart pumpin' up yer 'photo' bicep for the shoot; leave yer good arm alone so you can still brush yer teeth, use a fork, and scratch yer ass!:shucks:

Wolferz

01-05-15, 06:23 AM

Pictures of these firefighters might sell better...
http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb295/Wolferz_2007/AFFCalendarpic.jpg

swamprat69er

01-05-15, 06:40 AM

Pictures of these firefighters might sell better...
http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb295/Wolferz_2007/AFFCalendarpic.jpg
Nice water canons!

Armistead

01-05-15, 11:25 AM

I prefer a woman that has less guns than me. I actually dated a body building woman once, she wasn't one of those juiced up mongrels, but she had the arms and shoulders....It just made me feel gay in the dark feeling those big arms wrapped around me....

Aktungbby

01-05-15, 11:44 AM

That was all she wrapped around you!:oops: Her answer was NONO! you were outta there ...in a JIF! :har: @ Wolfertz: no more Full Frontal Female Fireftrs; we'll have Kranz requesting membership in the BILGE:arrgh!:and the Kardashians will attack the boat... :rotfl2: and I ain't up to repelling those boarders!:O:

Armistead

01-05-15, 12:31 PM

Aktung, we can easily repel boarders like last time, we covered the deck with bilge stew.....Only problem was the lawsuit filed against us by PETA over the 1000 of seagulls that died eating it....The judge was gonna put us all in jail, but found us so disgusting that he just sent us back here....I think Donna also help in that matter...

Aktungbby

01-05-15, 03:18 PM

Yer a' gonna need more than a bucket o' bilge stew fer these big suckered gals BBY! Out thar all by yer lonesome ain't what I call a 'Squid pro Quo":huh: http://www.vulcaniasubmarine.com/Behind%20The%20Scenes_files/image048.jpg

Wolferz

01-05-15, 06:20 PM

That's Naughtylus, Aktung.:88)

fireftr18

01-05-15, 10:46 PM

Pictures of these firefighters might sell better...
http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb295/Wolferz_2007/AFFCalendarpic.jpg

I see she's enjoying playing with my big hose.

swamprat69er

01-05-15, 11:12 PM

I see she's enjoying playing with my big hose.
Braggart! :D

Aktungbby

01-07-15, 01:04 PM

I see she's enjoying playing with my big hose.

She does seem to have a handle on the situation...Let's hope that gizmo isn't cutting edge technology...:timeout:

Wolferz

01-09-15, 06:42 AM

I see she's enjoying playing with my big hose.

You may want to wrap your lips around a ...

http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb295/Wolferz_2007/fire-hydrant.jpg

The fire appears fully involved behind her.

The ladies fire brigade will salute you...
http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb295/Wolferz_2007/enhanced-buzz-wide-29794-1400786586-7.jpg

Aktungbby

01-09-15, 12:30 PM

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/88/00/55/880055b170ab6545348eb13d5a478d04.jpg Real reality:yeah: http://lowres.cartoonstock.com/animals-dog-canine-hose-fire-fight-shl081006_low.jpg

Wolferz

01-09-15, 05:37 PM

Real reality?
Everybody knows that the dog stays in the firehouse or in the cab of the pumper.

fireftr18

01-09-15, 09:27 PM

Real reality?
Everybody knows that the dog stays in the firehouse or in the cab of the pumper.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2186895/Incredible-photos-heroic-mother-dog-carrying-day-old-puppies-blazing-home-safety.html

By the way, the dog does't stay in the firehouse. The dog gets out and starts chasing all the cute girl dogs and well, make fire dog puppies.

Jimbuna

01-10-15, 08:03 AM

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2186895/Incredible-photos-heroic-mother-dog-carrying-day-old-puppies-blazing-home-safety.html

By the way, the dog does't stay in the firehouse. The dog gets out and starts chasing all the cute girl dogs and well, make fire dog puppies.

:rock::rock::rock:

Tango589

01-10-15, 09:28 AM

Don't forget, we've got the birthday gig on Monday. I hope you're all in fine singing voice, got your dancing clogs ready and have your instruments to hand. If we nail this, it can only lead to bigger and better things!

Aktung, what's the status on the transport, gas, towable khazi etc.?

Armistead

01-10-15, 09:59 AM

Do I get a solo this time....La Laaaaaa

Tango589

01-10-15, 10:03 AM

Do I get a solo this time....La Laaaaaa
Yes, yes you do. Are we taking the boats rooster as our lucky mascot?

Aktungbby

01-10-15, 11:43 AM

Do I get a solo this time....La Laaaaaa

Only with a clamp on your cajónes AMIGO...we need some one for the falsetto parts that can really hit the high notes and Donna ain't around just now. Of course if you're already a 'highly prized' castrato...Jeeze you can do the soprano parts too!:D http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Castrato (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Castrato) We'll even include " The Capons go Rolling Along" in the repertôire fer ya!:har: