The Bilge

[Armistead]

Men, the sheep on board aren't for your pleasure...

[swamprat69er]

They weren't baaaaaaad.:har:

[Armistead]

just remember what you do to the sheep ends up in the stew...:doh: They really haven't given us much supplies, so the sheep and chickens are meals on the hoof..

[Aktungbby]

ARMISTEAD: anybody seen the nail clippers... They really haven't given us much supplies, so the sheep and chickens are meals on the hoof.. And nicely cloven hooves they are too!:Kaleun_Salivating:http://www.snopes.com/horrors/graphics/devil.jpg http://threegablesfarm.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Sheep-hoof-trimming_naturally-trimmed-feet_top.jpg

[Wolferz]

Men, the sheep on board aren't for your pleasure...


We will enjoy eating them. But don't be lewd...
wait till they're cooked.

Look at the rack on that sheep.

[Armistead]

The bilge meets Silence of the Lambs.....

[Wolferz]

The bilge meets Silence of the Lambs.....

They are anything but silent...


http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=lamb+chop&FORM=VIRE8#view=detail&mid=9DE9F3E427DA93340B2B9DE9F3E427DA93340B2B

[Tango589]

Have I slept through anything important, only it seems to have gone suspiciously quiet round here...:hmmm:

[Wolferz]

I thought you guys had fallen overboard.:huh:

[Jimbuna]

I know of a few others who were also hopeful that was the case.

[Wolferz]

I know of a few others who were also hopeful that was the case.


Your preconceptions of our scallywagedness(is that a word?) have been noted.:arrgh!:

Fresh grease on the ladders, the scuppers and the gang plank boys. Make 'em shine for our visiting dignitary.

[fireftr18]

Have I slept through anything important, only it seems to have gone suspiciously quiet round here...:hmmm:

Armistead and Wolferz have been on leave. I've been enjoying the quiet time. Donna and I have been busy cleaning up after them and enjoying some food and drink that is actually good.
:Kaleun_Cheers:

[Wolferz]

Armistead and Wolferz have been on leave. I've been enjoying the quiet time. Donna and I have been busy cleaning up after them and enjoying some food and drink that is actually good.
:Kaleun_Cheers:

In my defense, the work around the yard, house and garage wasn't going to do itself.:haha: And the work around The Bilge wasn't either.:O:
Nice paint job on the sub, FF. :up:

[Armistead]

It's mostly due to leadership. I tried to show you guys another way and failed. Trust me, it stinks to start a revolution and have it fail coming out the gate.

So, I've accepted my lot in the bilge, the filth, the food, even the coffee. It's clear you guys don't want to walk in the light.....

[donna52522]

It's mostly due to leadership. I tried to show you guys another way and failed. Trust me, it stinks to start a revolution and have it fail coming out the gate.

So, I've accepted my lot in the bilge, the filth, the food, even the coffee. It's clear you guys don't want to walk in the light.....


http://i1084.photobucket.com/albums/j408/donna577/10406605_941593339200195_7045228832937235624_n_zps 5167721f.jpg (http://s1084.photobucket.com/user/donna577/media/10406605_941593339200195_7045228832937235624_n_zps 5167721f.jpg.html)

[Armistead]

Remember Donna....you're a rat as well, trapped in the bilge with all the dirty rotten men......in fact, you even look like one now.

[Wolferz]

Batten down the tables.

[Onkel Neal]

Have I slept through anything important, only it seems to have gone suspiciously quiet round here...:hmmm:

That's when you need to worry.:arrgh!:

[Wolferz]

That's when you need to worry.:arrgh!:

That's for sure!
You never know when Armistead's going to sneak up and give you a free trip to Bangkok or a dirty Sanchez.:huh: Many a mouthful of coffee has painted the bulkheads.:arrgh!:

[Armistead]

I hate the bilge and what it's become....I'm making plans to bring in down.

[u crank]

I hate the bilge and what it's become....I'm making plans to bring in down.

http://i.imgur.com/xjAQjAz.gif

[Armistead]

Well, I may go down in flames with the bilge, but if that's what it takes, I'll fight the yellow gorilla in the brig... If I can't remove Wolferz from office, then burn the office.

http://i651.photobucket.com/albums/uu235/Armistead1424/Armistead1424108/download_zps13027061.jpg

[Wolferz]

Well, I may go down in flames with the bilge, but if that's what it takes, I'll fight the yellow gorilla in the brig... If I can't remove Wolferz from office, then burn the office.

http://i651.photobucket.com/albums/uu235/Armistead1424/Armistead1424108/download_zps13027061.jpg
Again?

I'll be on the pier getting drunk with the hookers. Let me know how it turns out.:-?

[Onkel Neal]

Hookers can make you drunk??

[Armistead]

Again?

I'll be on the pier getting drunk with the hookers. Let me know how it turns out.:-?

well, a contest of sorts, but certainly not a spelling bee

[Jimbuna]

Hookers can make you drunk??

Only the ugly ones....they ply you with so much drink they eventually begin to look acceptable.

[Tango589]

Only the ugly ones....they ply you with so much drink they eventually begin to look acceptable.

There speaks the voice of experience...:O:

[Wolferz]

Hookers can make you drunk??


With them. Not on them. Those girls always have a bottle. I guess it's to wash the taste of tar out of their mouths.:haha:

[Jimbuna]

There speaks the voice of experience...:O:

Cheeky bugga....I resemble that remark :stare:

[swamprat69er]

Only the ugly ones....they ply you with so much drink they eventually begin to look acceptable.
The girls (?) all look prettier at closing time.:haha:

[Jimbuna]

The girls (?) all look prettier at closing time.:haha:

True that :)

[Wolferz]

The girls (?) all look prettier at closing time.:haha:

Depends on how thick your beer goggles are.:o

Save yourself a wad of cash....
Go ugly, early.:O:

[Armistead]

The girls (?) all look prettier at closing time.:haha:

I wish I could tell one of my drunk and closing time experiences from my younger days....., but escaping I broke my ankle, locked my keys in my pu running and almost got arrested for a dui while sitting in a restaurant....

[Wolferz]

I wish I could tell one of my drunk and closing time experiences from my younger days....., but escaping I broke my ankle, locked my keys in my pu running and almost got arrested for a dui while sitting in a restaurant....

Dining Under the Influence? When did that become illegal?!?! Maybe you shouldn't have been sitting at the bar in Applebees.:haha:

[Armistead]

Dining Under the Influence? When did that become illegal?!?! Maybe you shouldn't have been sitting at the bar in Applebees.:haha:


Got to watch those ugly ugly girls at closing time, a good looking drunk like me unable to drive is like having an all you can eat buffet sign on your head. I let her drive me to her house to sleep it off. I knew I had hit a new low when we walked through her trailer door and her mom {drunk} said "why don't you sleep in my bed." I saw her mom winking and smiling at her like "you dun hit the jackpot babygirl." It got right interesting after that.....but I finally made my escape....

[fireftr18]

In my defense, the work around the yard, house and garage wasn't going to do itself.:haha: And the work around The Bilge wasn't either.:O:
Nice paint job on the sub, FF. :up:

Thank you. I learned from the best.
http://i1168.photobucket.com/albums/r496/fireftr18/CapMax_zps6e911fa9.jpg (http://s1168.photobucket.com/user/fireftr18/media/CapMax_zps6e911fa9.jpg.html)

That broken down old fart was one of my company officers. Captain Max Hellmueller, one of the best officers I ever had. He was a boatswain's mate while in the Navy. He was on the Kitty Hawk when they recovered Apollo 11.

[Wolferz]

Thank you. I learned from the best.
http://i1168.photobucket.com/albums/r496/fireftr18/CapMax_zps6e911fa9.jpg (http://s1168.photobucket.com/user/fireftr18/media/CapMax_zps6e911fa9.jpg.html)

That broken down old fart was one of my company officers. Captain Max Hellmueller, one of the best officers I ever had. He was a boatswain's mate while in the Navy. He was on the Kitty Hawk when they recovered Apollo 11.

uhhh, Cap'n. That ain't a water cannon.:O:

[Armistead]

http://i651.photobucket.com/albums/uu235/Armistead1424/Armistead1424109/5385cee8-fdd1-4c4b-95ae-08d0abcedf08_zps05b7d508.jpg

[swamprat69er]

but I finally made my escape....

After chewing your arm off to avoid waking her up.:har::har::haha:

[Armistead]

After chewing your arm off to avoid waking her up.:har::har::haha:


well, I had a blue light moment that even drunk, i knew i had to get out of there.....but I wish people that use cinder blocks for steps to the front door would at least concrete em together.....I went head over heels after my ankle broke......

[Wolferz]

The trailer should have been the first clue that you were having a coyote date. Most rednecks don't have a clue of how to use a trowel with mortar.
:har:

[Wolferz]

http://i651.photobucket.com/albums/uu235/Armistead1424/Armistead1424109/5385cee8-fdd1-4c4b-95ae-08d0abcedf08_zps05b7d508.jpg



If you are given an infraction by a moderator, take this as a warning to back off. If you are given time in the Brig (temporary ban), do NOT e-mail the moderators or admin to complain or argue a case. Take it like a man, wait out your time, and when you return, try to avoid subjects that get you angry or distressed. If you are given time in the Brig, it does not mean we don't like you, but you had trouble staying in bounds.

It's best not to ire the judge.:arrgh!: 'nuff said?

But, if you want to rock the boat Armistead, I won't intervene. You'll look good in stripes.:03:

Personally, I think it's just another plot to overthrow me.

The floggings will continue until morale improves.:rock:

[Armistead]

It's best not to ire the judge.:arrgh!: 'nuff said?

But, if you want to rock the boat Armistead, I won't intervene. You'll look good in stripes.:03:

Personally, I think it's just another plot to overthrow me.

The floggings will continue until morale improves.:rock:

A plot to overthrow you.....never... Just saying you're the leader, his leader...and come what may, you are the one that should stand up for him.....rats are thicker than....than....well, most things..... If you get banned for doing so, we will honor your memory and hold new fair elections to elect me as leader....

What ever happened to our secret plan by you to take over Subsim from Neal.....?

[Wolferz]

A plot to overthrow you.....never... Just saying you're the leader, his leader...and come what may, you are the one that should stand up for him.....rats are thicker than....than....well, most things..... If you get banned for doing so, we will honor your memory and hold new fair elections to elect me as leader....

What ever happened to our secret plan by you to take over Subsim from Neal.....?

Pure hyperbole on your part.:shifty:

As for Aktungbby and the rest of you scallywags...
You all wear "big boy" pants don't you?

Crapping in your mess kit, your pants or your diaper is not my job to clean up. Call nurse Ratchet.
Never defecate where you eat. We're Rats, not swine, though you're scaly tail is beginning to curl up. Just remember that as Rats we lead by example and always hold ourselves to a higher standard.:arrgh!:

Addendum:
Why on Earth would I want to take over :subsim:? So I can live in a shipping container?

[swamprat69er]

http://i651.photobucket.com/albums/uu235/Armistead1424/Armistead1424109/5385cee8-fdd1-4c4b-95ae-08d0abcedf08_zps05b7d508.jpg

What did he do? P in a moderators corn flakes?

[Wolferz]

What did he do? P in a moderators corn flakes?

I dunno. Jim suggested that I check his profile for a list of infractions and the moderator who nailed him. Maybe Jim has access to that info but we/ I don't. Basically, Jim said;"nunya". So we'll just have to wait until he's released to find out.:arrgh!:

He pees in Armistead's corn flakes all the time. Probably mine and yours too. :ping:

[Armistead]

Pure hyperbole on your part.:shifty:

As for Aktungbby and the rest of you scallywags...
You all wear "big boy" pants don't you?

Crapping in your mess kit, your pants or your diaper is not my job to clean up. Call nurse Ratchet.
Never defecate where you eat. We're Rats, not swine, though you're scaly tail is beginning to curl up. Just remember that as Rats we lead by example and always hold ourselves to a higher standard.:arrgh!:

Addendum:
Why on Earth would I want to take over :subsim:? So I can live in a shipping container?

I thought we decided we would sell his shipping container, I mean house and throw a coming out of the bilge party with the funds....

Anyway, I've changed my mind on Aktung, he did such a poor job in my plan of revolution, maybe some alone time with the yellow gorilla is just what he needs....,,,,However, I have other plans I'm working on.....

[Wolferz]

I thought we decided we would sell his shipping container, I mean house and throw a coming out of the bilge party with the funds....

Anyway, I've changed my mind on Aktung, he did such a poor job in my plan of revolution, maybe some alone time with the yellow gorilla is just what he needs....,,,,However, I have other plans I'm working on.....

Wow!:huh: You flip on your back faster than a tortoise on Route 66! Or a hooker during Fleet week.:doh:
I'm impressed.:rock:

Anyhoo, stay out of The Saratoga topic, even though I started that one and don't give a hoot if someone sends it down a side rail.:rock::arrgh!: Apparently some folks got Googled over there and they didn't like it. Not one bit t.:O:

[Armistead]

They wouldn't throw us in the brig.....would they.:o Why don't you go spend a lil time in the brig with Aktung.....he probably appreciate the warmth....

There's always Ubisoft...:O:

[Wolferz]

They wouldn't throw us in the brig.....would they.:o Why don't you go spend a lil time in the brig with Aktung.....he probably appreciate the warmth....

There's always Ubisoft...:O:

Sorry, I don't function well in captivity and going back to Ubisloth is a definite no go.:down:

[Armistead]

well, there's always facebook.....you can join the blonde wars

[Wolferz]

well, there's always facebook.....you can join the blonde wars

Uh-uh, The NSA is watching that place, Like every other goody two shoes and nosey buttinski on the planet who think they can judge people by what they and their friends and family post to your profile page.
Facebook is the harbinger of the Idiocracy.:down:

I haven't been blonde since I turned six.

Edit: Here's what Facebook can do for you and the kind of response you will get from a so called Christian school...
http://news.msn.com/us/video?videoid=85c16136-8fbe-4453-99ea-1f9212898d8c

The Idiocracy is gathering momentum by the second.

[Wolferz]

I think the NSA is on to us or Google has begun their Nanny attack.
Every time I compose an excellent post or a reply, my browser....
404
Edit:

As I was saying...
404

Edit:
Damn it!

[Armistead]

maybe it's just you..

[Aktungbby]

[QUOTE=Wolferz;2236441]Depends on how thick your beer goggles are./QUOTE]

NO NO! It's just proof there is a god! He made eyelids that close and darkness for 1/2 the day...YOU NEVER Have to actually LOOK! Throw in the clothespin Armistead wears on his nose and that pretty well accounts for most of the true love on this overbreeding mudball!...."and I'll respect you in the morning you ol' NAG if I live through the night.":haha:

[Wolferz]

Welcome back Aktungbby. I see they let you out of the brig.:up:

What were you in for:06: Flickin' a booga on some high muckety muck?:haha:

[Armistead]

I hope they let you take your bilge oil lube can into the brig.....:oops:

[Wolferz]

I hope they let you take your bilge oil lube can into the brig.....:oops:

He might need a post incarceration rectal exam.
Got your gloves ready?:O:

[Armistead]

you know how we do it in the bilge...

http://i607.photobucket.com/albums/tt156/importantless/plunger-dallas.jpg (http://media.photobucket.com/user/importantless/media/plunger-dallas.jpg.html)

[Aktungbby]

http://www.toiletology.com/images-4/Toilet-grater-paper.jpgI'll be 'grate'ful for any attention you can render my gandu in these circumstances. My 'pucker factor' shudders at the concept...some lite reading:woot:http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/c/cd/Captain_Underpants_Talking_Toilets.jpg

[Wolferz]

http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb295/Wolferz_2007/smurfs2.png

Note: Substitute Brainy with the name Armistead.:know:

[Armistead]

I cant get the play button to work....:stare:

[Jimbuna]

Post of the day.

[Wolferz]

I cant get the play button to work....:stare:

I hear you have the same problem with the ladies and your apostrophe key.:O:

[Armistead]

I hear you have the same problem with the ladies and your apostrophe key.:O:

it's not that i can't, it's that i don't care anymore with this phone. i find it easier not to cap, use punc, anything. maybe im just getting lazy. the wifes play button hardly works anymore either. we opened a grooming shop and kennel for her as a business not long ago and shes working 12 hour days, comes home bitchy and tired, but i enjoy having the den to myself until about 8.

[Wolferz]

it's not that i can't, it's that i don't care anymore with this phone. i find it easier not to cap, use punc, anything. maybe im just getting lazy. the wifes play button hardly works anymore either. we opened a grooming shop and kennel for her as a business not long ago and shes working 12 hour days, comes home bitchy and tired, but i enjoy having the den to myself until about 8.

Well, you do what you gotta do to keep the other half happy.

You could always cite, "This is what you wanted Honey." Then go sleep on the couch.:cool:

Mine went into panic mode right after we euthanized the dog and she's already gone and bought a replacement. Even though I suggested we take a nice long vacation from the care and feeding of a dog. We still have the damned cat after all! She chose a 6 week old Brittany Spaniel pup. It arrives this Saturday. Crap! :roll:

She even had the audacity to suggest not having this one spayed and breeding her.
I said; "Now you're pushing your luck."

[Armistead]

http://i450.photobucket.com/albums/qq227/Rexxar_warrior/avatar_8569.jpg (http://media.photobucket.com/user/Rexxar_warrior/media/avatar_8569.jpg.html)

[Wolferz]

http://i450.photobucket.com/albums/qq227/Rexxar_warrior/avatar_8569.jpg (http://media.photobucket.com/user/Rexxar_warrior/media/avatar_8569.jpg.html)

What a bargain!
Cash, check or money order?:cool:

[Armistead]

Wife says cash only and she comes with the deal, her dogs, bills, etc....Son is almost 18, so hopefully you'll only have to deal with him another 10 years

[Wolferz]

Wife says cash only and she comes with the deal, her dogs, bills, etc....Son is almost 18, so hopefully you'll only have to deal with him another 10 years

Only if you have a hefty payout on your life insurance.:03: I won't need to deal with your offspring, since I'll be spending at least ten years in the slammer, guarding my bunga.:timeout: Wife 2.0 still has one living at home. He just turned 34. :roll: Maybe I'll try the two for one special. I even provided her with an out that she stabbed me in the back on and let the worthless goober come back.:-?

[Wolferz]

Buy her a butter churn. Hopefully she'll get the idea...eventually.:D

[Armistead]

my wife thinks great sex makes up for everything.....like I'm that shallow...

[Aktungbby]

Well, you do what you gotta do to keep the other half happy. WHA.....!!! HALF? you mean the other 7/8th ...don't you? I settled for food and getting to colonoscopy appointments on time...:k_confused:

my wife thinks great sex makes up for everything.....like I'm that shallow... OMG! As opposed to banal or mundane sex??? Man I learn so much just sitting at your knee..I pray you...enlighten me! I don't seem to have ever known the difference:O:

[Wolferz]

Can you really take sex advice from a guy nicknamed Nonads Blankshooter?:hmmm:

[Jimbuna]

Biggest embarrassment is the day your wife informs you that your new pet name is Justin.

[Wolferz]

Biggest embarrassment is the day your wife informs you that your new pet name is Justin.

It's better than Justout.:03::yep: Especially when you realize she's not talking about Kosher beer.:O:

[Jimbuna]

It's better than Justout.:03::yep: Especially when you realize she's not talking about Kosher beer.:O:

Or making reference to someone else :o

[Wolferz]

Or making reference to someone else :o


Ohhh! The pain! Still, it could be worse. She might start making reference to Justine in her sleep.:timeout:

I count myself fortunate that my 1.0 Shrew only cost me one Golden Penny to get rid of. :rock::D

Keep the change, Bi.....err Butch.

[Aktungbby]

Actually the recent earthquake was a blessing in disguise...It's the only time I've ever heard "Oh my God" in the boudoir:huh: "And the earth shook":O: timing is everything !:Kaleun_Los:

[Wolferz]

Actually the recent earthquake was a blessing in disguise...It's the only time I've ever heard "Oh my God" in the boudoir:huh: "And the earth shook":O: timing is everything !:Kaleun_Los:

LOL :haha: I've been called a deity many, many times.
It never involved a tectonic event though.:D:03::shucks:

[Aktungbby]

LOL :haha: I've been called a deity many, many times.
It never involved a tectonic event though.:D:03::shucks:

How Priapismic for you Fearless Leader! We 'rats of a lesser god' need all the help we can get. Just for You: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=20Feq_Nt3nM (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=20Feq_Nt3nM) :har:

[Wolferz]

How Priapismic for you Fearless Leader! We 'rats of a lesser god' need all the help we can get. Just for You: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=20Feq_Nt3nM (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=20Feq_Nt3nM) :har:

I wasn't bragging. Just stating a fact.

Oh, alright, I was bragging.:yep:


It's not what you have that counts, it's how you use it.:rock:
:arrgh!:Shivering timbers tells you, you did it right.:arrgh!:
Harrrrrrr!

[Tango589]

I tried splicing the wifes' mainbrace, but just got a slap in the chops and kicked out of bed for my troubles.:nope:

[Wolferz]

I tried splicing the wifes' mainbrace, but just got a slap in the chops and kicked out of bed for my troubles.:nope:

Ouch! Is it time to seek out 2.0?

[Tango589]

No, after all, I did surprise her without asking first...:03:

[Armistead]

I wasn't bragging. Just stating a fact.

Oh, alright, I was bragging.:yep:


It's not what you have that counts, it's how you use it.:rock:
:arrgh!:Shivering timbers tells you, you did it right.:arrgh!:
Harrrrrrr!

So you're the Captain of an escort, eh?

[Aktungbby]

I tried splicing the wifes' mainbrace, but just got a slap in the chops and kicked out of bed for my troubles.:nope:Hey no misquoting my sig ...unless your "three Sheets to the Wind" and even then she'll not like the "cut of your jib"!:Kaleun_Cheers:

No, after all, I did surprise her without asking first...:03: Futile Frontal assaults are a tacit admission of the lack of the "art of war' especially when the rasping sound of your scaly bilgerat tail gives away your position in the dark to an experienced paramour with good hearing!!:O::haha:
http://us.cdn2.123rf.com/168nwm/vectorshots/vectorshots1210/vectorshots121000200/15759384-horrible-rat.jpg
Rats! foiled again!

[Wolferz]

Enjoy.
http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb295/Wolferz_2007/three_blind_mice1-1.jpg

[Wolferz]

^^By the way, I've already ruined all three of them.:03: So don't go looking for love.:O:

[Wolferz]

I tried splicing the wifes' mainbrace, but just got a slap in the chops and kicked out of bed for my troubles.:nope:



http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb295/Wolferz_2007/windsock_big.gif




Remember: A woman has to be in the mood. A man just has to be in the room.

"Not tonight honey, I have a headache"

"That's ok, I just sprinkled it with powdered aspirin."

[Aktungbby]

"That's ok, I just sprinkled it with powdered aspirin."
"O happy dagger!
This is thy sheath; there rust, and let me die." Romeo and Juliet V iii 169-170 :woot:

[Wolferz]

"O happy dagger!
This is thy sheath; there rust, and let me die." Romeo and Juliet V iii 169-170 :woot:


J: Romeo, Romeo. Wherefore art thou?

R: Down here in thy bushes. Tosseth some White Cloud.

[Tango589]

^^By the way, I've already ruined all three of them.:03: So don't go looking for love.:O:
Who mentioned love, I'm just interested in the kind of entertainment that your mother warned you about :yep:.

[Aktungbby]

Who mentioned love, I'm just interested in the kind of entertainment that your mother warned you about :yep:.

Entertainment!!!All we baby boomers ever got from mom was:http://us.cdn3.123rf.com/168nwm/jgroup/jgroup1005/jgroup100500289/7050213-classic-depiction-of-a-stork-in-flight-delivering-a-newborn-baby.jpg...the rest we learned at the barbershop:O:

[Wolferz]

Who mentioned love, I'm just interested in the kind of entertainment that your mother warned you about :yep:.

My mum raised four male children and offered no warnings or advice. She just turned us loose on the world.:huh::rock::D

However, she did ask what I did to wife 2.0 after their first meeting. The only girl I ever brought home that she approved of.:smug:

I kept my answer brief and cryptic. *shrug*:haha:

[Tango589]

I've finished scrubbing the scorch marks off the galley AND the latrines, what news is there from the rest of the Bilge? (I did end up using Armisteads' toothbrush for the scrubbing. Should I tell him, or just put it back and not say anything when he wonders what the strange flavour is?)

[Wolferz]

I've finished scrubbing the scorch marks off the galley AND the latrines, what news is there from the rest of the Bilge? (I did end up using Armisteads' toothbrush for the scrubbing. Should I tell him, or just put it back and not say anything when he wonders what the strange flavour is?)
After consuming Donna's food and coffee I don't think he'll notice.:yep:

She uses that ten minute rule in the galley.

[Aktungbby]

I've finished scrubbing the scorch marks off the galley AND the latrines, what news is there from the rest of the Bilge? (I did end up using Armisteads' toothbrush for the scrubbing. Should I tell him, or just put it back and not say anything when he wonders what the strange flavour is?)

http://cache3.asset-cache.net/xt/827034-001.jpg?v=1&g=fs1|0|TSIR|70|341&s=1 (http://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/false-teeth-in-glass-of-water-close-up-high-res-stock-photography/827034-001)Nah! fewer moving parts!:O:

[Armistead]

I've finished scrubbing the scorch marks off the galley AND the latrines, what news is there from the rest of the Bilge? (I did end up using Armisteads' toothbrush for the scrubbing. Should I tell him, or just put it back and not say anything when he wonders what the strange flavour is?)

No worries, I long ago gave that toothbrush to Donna to stir the bilge stew...

[Wolferz]

No worries, I long ago gave that toothbrush to Donna to stir the bilge stew...

Well now we know why the stew always tastes like diesel fuel and shoe soles.:O:

[Armistead]

Well now we know why the stew always tastes like diesel fuel and shoe soles.:O:

Well, everyones been saying it taste so much better than previous.

Anyway, here's a few pics I took of our last training session before patrol

Boys and Donna in the bilge training for something..

http://i651.photobucket.com/albums/uu235/Armistead1424/Armistead1424137/4togaqueencopy-1_zps7a597544.jpg


Our glorious leader....Capt. Wolferz
http://i651.photobucket.com/albums/uu235/Armistead1424/Armistead1424137/klcarrol-2_zps2d33efac.jpg

[Wolferz]

Well, everyones been saying it taste so much better than previous.

Anyway, here's a few pics I took of our last training session before patrol

Boys and Donna in the bilge training for something..

http://i651.photobucket.com/albums/uu235/Armistead1424/Armistead1424137/4togaqueencopy-1_zps7a597544.jpg
Training for the Outhouse Olympics.:up:
Or was that one of our Caligula parties?

Our glorious leader....Capt. Wolferz
http://i651.photobucket.com/albums/uu235/Armistead1424/Armistead1424137/klcarrol-2_zps2d33efac.jpg


Kneel before Zod!

[swamprat69er]

Kneel before Zod!
ALL HAIL ZOD!

[Tango589]

He's a zilly zod.:88)

[Wolferz]

He's a zilly zod.:88)

Canadians are so respectful... :up:
Take a cue.:hmmm:

:haha:

[Tango589]

Canadians are so respectful... :up:
Take a cue.:hmmm:

:haha:
Canadian swearing:

http://i298.photobucket.com/albums/mm260/tango589/swear.jpg

[Armistead]

Swamp is from Canada, that explains how an entire crew ended up in the bilge..

[Tango589]

Yeah, it was an administrative cock-up higher up and he was too polite to say anything.:-?

[Wolferz]

Yeah, it was an administrative cock-up higher up and he was too polite to say anything.:-?

Ahem,
This a US Navy boat. Please refer to screw ups in the American verbacular...
It's SNAFU, not cock up.:arrgh!:

[Tango589]

Don't be such a Mary about it, this is an international crew with an international vernacular.:O:

[Wolferz]

Don't be such a Mary about it, this is an international crew with an international vernacular.:O:

All the more reason.:03::O:

Knowwuttamean vern-acular?

[Tango589]

Fuggeddaboutit!:D

[Wolferz]

Fuggeddaboutit!:D

Must be from the Isle of Jersey. :up:

[Armistead]

Ahem,
This a US Navy boat. Please refer to screw ups in the American verbacular...
It's SNAFU, not cock up.:arrgh!:

Cock up has a better ring to it...It is the bilge after all

[Wolferz]

Cluster-**** You Americans know the rest of it.

Eh?

Have a beer, buddy.:O:

[Sailor Steve]

Looks like we need a little refresher on the rules.
http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/faq.php?faq=vb_faq#faq_new_faq_item_language

[swamprat69er]

Cluster-**** You Americans know the rest of it.

Looks like we need a little refresher on the rules.
http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/faq.php?faq=vb_faq#faq_new_faq_item_language
Oops, I'll delete it.

[Armistead]

Oops, I'll delete it.

I thought you meant cluster bomb....

[Wolferz]

I thought you meant cluster bomb....

He did but Steve always has his mind in the gutter.:03::O:

[Jimbuna]

He did but Steve always has his mind in the gutter.:03::O:

Just as well...I was just about to pull the pin out of the grenade.

[Wolferz]

Just as well...I was just about to pull the pin out of the grenade.

A cluster bomb will do more damage.
Grenades are for the less manly.:arrgh!:

[Kaptlt.Endrass]

Ahh... Reminds me of... nowhere, really. Quite unique, what you've got 'ere.

I'd ask if you'd allow a young (but by no means innocent), slightly insane, unstable, lost soul into your ranks, but your derelict sign on the busted door back there cleary states 'No Tresspassing' in the language of a true seaman.

Scotch on the rocks, anyone?

[Wolferz]

Ahh... Reminds me of... nowhere, really. Quite unique, what you've got 'ere.

I'd ask if you'd allow a young (but by no means innocent), slightly insane, unstable, lost soul into your ranks, but your derelict sign on the busted door back there cleary states 'No Tresspassing' in the language of a true seaman.

Scotch on the rocks, anyone?

Can you wash dirty socks and underwear?
If so,

Please submit formal application to Armistead... in triplicate.
Thank you for your support.

[fireftr18]

Ahh... Reminds me of... nowhere, really. Quite unique, what you've got 'ere.

I'd ask if you'd allow a young (but by no means innocent), slightly insane, unstable, lost soul into your ranks, but your derelict sign on the busted door back there cleary states 'No Tresspassing' in the language of a true seaman.

Scotch on the rocks, anyone?

Sounds like you're very well qualified. Ignore the sign, Cap Steve puts it up to try to keep crew members from going in and getting ruined.

[Armistead]

Ahh... Reminds me of... nowhere, really. Quite unique, what you've got 'ere.

I'd ask if you'd allow a young (but by no means innocent), slightly insane, unstable, lost soul into your ranks, but your derelict sign on the busted door back there cleary states 'No Tresspassing' in the language of a true seaman.

Scotch on the rocks, anyone?


Sorry, you don't qualify to be a full member, but you can be an honorary member. You will have to PROVE you're a rat, not just rant. We've heard it many times....Simply, we don't just do the secret handshake with anyone..:D

[Kaptlt.Endrass]

I am willing to wash your crusty old socks. Can't be any worse than mine own crusty yellow ones, eh? (I'll let you discover why they are yellow.)

So,@Armistead,honorary member? (A suitable position to begin my ill-fated attempt at world domination.) What must I do to become one?

[Armistead]

I am willing to wash your crusty old socks. Can't be any worse than mine own crusty yellow ones, eh? (I'll let you discover why they are yellow.)

So,@Armistead,honorary member? (A suitable position to begin my ill-fated attempt at world domination.) What must I do to become one?

Get a member to nominate you for a vote. The vote first being approved by the general members. If you get enough votes, that only gets your application sent to the Rat Council for another vote. If you pass that vote, then your app goes to the Board. If the Board approves it, it then goes to the Executive branch. If approved, we will then put it for a full vote to all members. If you get enough votes, then you're on probation for 90 days as an honorary member. During that time, you have to do 3 things.

Insult a moderator, without getting a permanent forum ban. {tricky}
Sniff every fart at command....
Wash underwear....

At the end of 90 days, you'll go through a mild hazing, followed by learning and partaking of the secret handshake with every member..{cept Donna}
After that, you'll bend before Zod and kiss his ring. Then you'll be a full member.

You can skip this process with a one time payment to the Treasurer {Armistead} for $100 and be a full member in poor standing. For an extra $50, I'll throw in a committee position...

[Aktungbby]

After our indoctrination the Navy SEALS will be a 'doddle' :woot:

[Armistead]

After our indoctrination the Navy SEALS will be a 'doddle' :woot:

And here is a fine example of a man that was willing to go through the full process and on his way to being a full member. In fact, it's time to call a formal meeting giving him full membership.

[Kaptlt.Endrass]

Well, insult a moderator. Not sure 'bout that, but I'll bite. Everything else, though, I'm fine with. Not sure if my parents want me yanking on another's wanker, though.

Eh, second thought, sod them. What they don't know won't hurt them, aye?:03:

Now, any dog willing to nominate me? I'll be at the bar for now if you need a word.

[donna52522]

My mum raised four male children and offered no warnings or advice. She just turned us loose on the world.:huh::rock::D

However, she did ask what I did to wife 2.0 after their first meeting. The only girl I ever brought home that she approved of.:smug:

I kept my answer brief and cryptic. *shrug*:haha:

After consuming Donna's food and coffee I don't think he'll notice.:yep:

She uses that ten minute rule in the galley.

No worries, I long ago gave that toothbrush to Donna to stir the bilge stew...

Well now we know why the stew always tastes like diesel fuel and shoe soles.:O:

Well, everyones been saying it taste so much better than previous.

Anyway, here's a few pics I took of our last training session before patrol

Boys and Donna in the bilge training for something..

http://i651.photobucket.com/albums/uu235/Armistead1424/Armistead1424137/4togaqueencopy-1_zps7a597544.jpg


Our glorious leader....Capt. Wolferz
http://i651.photobucket.com/albums/uu235/Armistead1424/Armistead1424137/klcarrol-2_zps2d33efac.jpg

Wait, what?......Talking about me behind my back right in front of me. :nope:

[Tango589]

Now, any dog willing to nominate me? I'll be at the bar for now if you need a word.
I'll put your name forward if you stand me a 'couple' of drinks...:()1:

[Jimbuna]

Well, insult a moderator. Not sure 'bout that, but I'll bite. Everything else, though, I'm fine with. Not sure if my parents want me yanking on another's wanker, though.

Eh, second thought, sod them. What they don't know won't hurt them, aye?:03:

Now, any dog willing to nominate me? I'll be at the bar for now if you need a word.

I'll put your name forward if you stand me a 'couple' of drinks...:()1:

Save yer money, you'll never get past the moderator insult stage.

Mines a Brown Dog

http://img826.imageshack.us/img826/4051/xbur.gif (http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/826/xbur.gif/)

[Armistead]

Well, insult a moderator. Not sure 'bout that, but I'll bite. Everything else, though, I'm fine with. Not sure if my parents want me yanking on another's wanker, though.

Eh, second thought, sod them. What they don't know won't hurt them, aye?:03:

Now, any dog willing to nominate me? I'll be at the bar for now if you need a word.

Who said anything about yanking wankers....where did you hear that?

You have to insult a mod just the right amount. If you do it right, you'll get a warning, if you want to impress us, get sent to the brig, do it wrong, well, nice knowing ya.....The trick is to piss one off without breaking the rules. However, if one thinks you're doing it to join the rats, they'll make you suffer, so be mum about it...

[Tango589]

Who said anything about yanking wankers....where did you hear that?
I think he heard it from the boats priest, who happens to be partial to that sort of thing.

[Armistead]

I think he heard it from the boats priest, who happens to be partial to that sort of thing.

but you're the boats priest...and that's where we got the secret handshake from....

[Aktungbby]

Save yer money, you'll never get past the moderator insult stage.

Mines a Brown Dog

http://img826.imageshack.us/img826/4051/xbur.gif (http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/826/xbur.gif/) Mines HAMM"S

Who said anything about yanking wankers....where did you hear that?

You have to insult a mod just the right amount. If you do it right, you'll get a warning, if you want to impress us, get sent to the brig, do it wrong, well, nice knowing ya.....The trick is to piss one off without breaking the rules. However, if one thinks you're doing it to join the rats, they'll make you suffer, so be mum about it...

I think he heard it from the boats priest, who happens to be partial to that sort of thing.http://lowres.cartoonstock.com/religion-priest-see_no_evil-speak_no_evil-evils-priesthood-glln194_low.jpghttp://i651.photobucket.com/albums/uu235/Armistead1424/Armistead1424109/5385cee8-fdd1-4c4b-95ae-08d0abcedf08_zps05b7d508.jpghttp://us.cdn1.123rf.com/168nwm/dclipart/dclipart1202/dclipart120200363/12491039-rat--halloween-set--vector-illustration.jpg :O:

[Armistead]

I fought for you Aktung and damn near ended up in the brig with you. Question is, what did our leader do?

One of these days.......

[Kaptlt.Endrass]

I'll put your name forward if you stand me a 'couple' of drinks...:()1:

I've got a bottle of 40-year old scotch I haven't killed yet. Will that do?

And Armistead, Tango's right. Your priest is quite a fellow.

[Wolferz]

You're a shoe-in Endrass. The rank and file have already begun your hazing.
Insult a moderator?:timeout: Indeed not!
Well, not intentionally anyway.:03:
Insult can't be given, unless taken. So, if a moderator takes your insult, well, we won't be responsible and will disavow any knowledge of your actions.:hmmm:

Don't forget, an extra special circumcision will be the consequences of getting caught and tossed in the brig.

:/\\chop:

We'll just add Nub to our growing list of nicknames.

[Aktungbby]

Has any one explained the bilge-can duty of the newest recruit? No spills allowed!:03:

[Armistead]

You're a shoe-in Endrass. The rank and file have already begun your hazing.
Insult a moderator?:timeout: Indeed not!
Well, not intentionally anyway.:03:
Insult can't be given, unless taken. So, if a moderator takes your insult, well, we won't be responsible and will disavow any knowledge of your actions.:hmmm:

Don't forget, an extra special circumcision will be the consequences of getting caught and tossed in the brig.

:/\\chop:

We'll just add Nub to our growing list of nicknames.

Seems we just let anyone in these days. Our once tight group of Ubirats now has become Club Bilge. IDC, let in anyone, but one day all will be revealed.

[Armistead]

I've got a bottle of 40-year old scotch I haven't killed yet. Will that do?

And Armistead, Tango's right. Your priest is quite a fellow.


OK, you have my vote. Fair warning, when you give the secret handshake, wash your hands afterwards with Kerosene. See post 233

[Kaptlt.Endrass]

You're a shoe-in Endrass. The rank and file have already begun your hazing.
Insult a moderator?:timeout: Indeed not!
Well, not intentionally anyway.:03:
Insult can't be given, unless taken. So, if a moderator takes your insult, well, we won't be responsible and will disavow any knowledge of your actions.:hmmm:

Don't forget, an extra special circumcision will be the consequences of getting caught and tossed in the brig.

No worries. I knew they were screwin' 'round. I've gotten hazed plenty. Just play along and you'll be fine. And I ain't getting no more circumcision. Once was once too many, and I ain't even Jewish. (Imagine my surprise when my parents told me every lad has to get snipped. Better than the alternative.)

Everything is still in fine working order under my kilt. The (insert 8 lettered curse) aren't taking my Scottish pride.

Or German. Or Irish, English. This ancestry thing's givin' me a headache. Another round on me!

[Tango589]

but you're the boats priest...and that's where we got the secret handshake from....

If I'm the boats priest then it's a poor lookout for religion round here, what with me being an atheist. Worship what or who you like, but don't expect me to get involved. Also, I do not look good in a frock. I suggest we nominate someone of a more pious nature for the position. Any suggestions?

[Aktungbby]

If I'm the boats priest then it's a poor lookout for religion round here, what with me being an atheist. Worship what or who you like, but don't expect me to get involved. Also, I do not look good in a frock. I suggest we nominate someone of a more pious nature for the position. Any suggestions?
OH NO! you're the ship's PADRE! The LORD works in mysterious ways-remember my vino problem on my wedding day?:Kaleun_Salivating: And besides you're a grape kinda' guy! http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/picture.php?pictureid=7048&albumid=815&dl=1381536131&thumb=1 (http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/album.php?albumid=815&pictureid=7048):03: Don't worry about the frock-it's a hair-shirt for U BBY (cilice) just for penance and contrition:doh: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/4d/Cilice3.jpgdetail of celice close up :nope: worn as a jock strap??? no wonder they call it "chain male":oops:

[Armistead]

If I'm the boats priest then it's a poor lookout for religion round here, what with me being an atheist. Worship what or who you like, but don't expect me to get involved. Also, I do not look good in a frock. I suggest we nominate someone of a more pious nature for the position. Any suggestions?


This is the bilge, we made you the priest because you are an atheist...and you know you enjoy all the confessions made in the head/confession booth.

[Armistead]

Our new uniforms are here..

For the Men and Aktung

http://i651.photobucket.com/albums/uu235/Armistead1424/Armistead1424139/images41_zps0d68f43f.jpg

For Donna and Tango

http://i651.photobucket.com/albums/uu235/Armistead1424/Armistead1424139/flirty-sailor-costume-fs2390-a_zps710135ed.jpg

[Wolferz]

Nice anchors. :D

[Armistead]

turn the tie around and the men have a bib...

[Aktungbby]

Nice anchors. :D

From which we derive "anchors away!":hmmm: @ Tango BBY you'll be in good company wearing you penitent's hair shirt! It seems Thomas Becket was wearing a hairshirt when he was martyred, St Patrick reputedly wore a cilice, Charlemagne was buried in a hairshirt, and even ol' Henry IV, Holy Roman Emperor and King of Germany, famously wore one in his long walk to Canossa . Prince Henry the Navigator was found to be wearing a hairshirt at the time of his death in 1460- In short you'll be right in style and a submarine is a bit cloistered at that. Of course a change of pace (and less itchiness) could involve self- flagellation during your contrite evening vespers, I'm sure the missus has one of her ol' whips laying about- probably next to the French maid outfit!-YOU ENGLISH! BOTTOM LINE: We bilgerat pigboaters prefer our padres painfully penitent:D Some sacramental wine will ease the pain:up:

[Armistead]

From which we derive "anchors away!":hmmm: @ Tango BBY you'll be in good company wearing you penitent's hair shirt! It seems Thomas Becket was wearing a hairshirt when he was martyred, St Patrick reputedly wore a cilice, Charlemagne was buried in a hairshirt, and even ol' Henry IV, Holy Roman Emperor and King of Germany, famously wore one in his long walk to Canossa . Prince Henry the Navigator was found to be wearing a hairshirt at the time of his death in 1460- In short you'll be right in style and a submarine is a bit cloistered at that. Of course a change of pace (and less itchiness) could involve self- flagellation during your contrite evening vespers, I'm sure the missus has one of her ol' whips laying about- probably next to the French maid outfit!-YOU ENGLISH! BOTTOM LINE: We bilgerat pigboaters prefer our padres painfully penitent:D Some sacramental wine will ease the pain:up:

How the hell does your brain come up with all this stuff? Are you a history professor that gave a cute female student an A, got caught, fired, and became a drunk? Is this where the smart nonsensical ramblings come from?

[Aktungbby]

How the hell does your brain come up with all this stuff? Are you a history professor that gave a cute female student an A, got caught, fired, and became a drunk? Is this where the smart nonsensical ramblings come from? JEEZE I thought I was keepin' up with you inspirationwise-I'm runnin' on Hamm's an' Spam!; you're runnin' on Moonshine and corn-pone!!!:D

[Tango589]

From which we derive "anchors away!":hmmm: @ Tango BBY you'll be in good company wearing you penitent's hair shirt! It seems Thomas Becket was wearing a hairshirt when he was martyred, St Patrick reputedly wore a cilice, Charlemagne was buried in a hairshirt, and even ol' Henry IV, Holy Roman Emperor and King of Germany, famously wore one in his long walk to Canossa . Prince Henry the Navigator was found to be wearing a hairshirt at the time of his death in 1460- In short you'll be right in style and a submarine is a bit cloistered at that. Of course a change of pace (and less itchiness) could involve self- flagellation during your contrite evening vespers, I'm sure the missus has one of her ol' whips laying about- probably next to the French maid outfit!-YOU ENGLISH! BOTTOM LINE: We bilgerat pigboaters prefer our padres painfully penitent:D Some sacramental wine will ease the pain:up:
Ok, I don't mind wearing the Lady Sailor outfit, although I might need some help filling the frontage. As for the hair shirt, as long as I avoid the spiky steel jock-strap a steady supply of sacramental wine or bilge brew will definitely make things more comfortable. I really need to get an air freshener for the 'confession booth' after Kaptlt.Endrass blew back the poop tank discharge system by mistake on his 1st day...

[Wolferz]

The term is Anchors a-weigh. The point at which the anchor first has weight applied to the haul rope or chain. Olden seadogs loved to add 'a' to words and created most nautical terms in the process.
IE: A-stern, A-shore, a-sea, a-wash, aboard, a-shole, a-ground. etc, etc
ad nauseum.

[Eichhörnchen]

Does that mean that they used to be called "nchors" then?

[swamprat69er]

Don't forget a-beam!:D

[Aktungbby]

The term is Anchors a-weigh. The point at which the anchor first has weight applied to the haul rope or chain. Olden seadogs loved to add 'a' to words and created most nautical terms in the process.
IE: A-stern, A-shore, a-sea, a-wash, aboard, a-shole, a-ground. etc, etc
ad nauseum.

I'm simply A-gog at your nautical linguistics ! :DAll whilst being a bit A-sea on the bilgerat sub as an A-ganger!:haha:

[nikimcbee]

Ass end of the boat?:hmmm:

[Tango589]

Ass in charge of the boat?:hmmm:

[Jimbuna]

:oops::oops:

[Armistead]

I've got us a new pinup poster for the aft battery..

http://i651.photobucket.com/albums/uu235/Armistead1424/Armistead1424141/369eaa14-e351-4908-a50c-dd76fec2f9bc_zps8cd7dd25.jpg

[Tango589]

ATTENTION ALL BILGE RATS, ATTENTION ALL BILGE RATS

Roll up, roll up, get your tickets for the great showdown between Eichhornen and Armistead over the Who/What/Where coup d'état!

Book your seats, buy you popcorn and be prepared for the match of the week!

Tickets only £5/$/Euro each, or a bottle of hooch gets you ringside!

All presented by Admiral Blobfish Productions.

tickets are non-refundable, non-transferable and non-edible.

[Eichhörnchen]

Well he'll have to come up here and get me 'cos I ain't coming down there, no way! Anyhow, I couldn't do it when it came to it: he looked so sweet sleeping there with that teddy bear and those jim-jams with the little submarines all over 'em.



Well I suppose I did stick it to him just a little bit, but I gave him some time to wake up, to be fair...

PS/ Catfish made me do it

[Tango589]

he looked so sweet sleeping there with that teddy bear and those jim-jams with the little submarines all over 'em.
:haha:

[Armistead]

Well he'll have to come up here and get me 'cos I ain't coming down there, no way! Anyhow, I couldn't do it when it came to it: he looked so sweet sleeping there with that teddy bear and those jim-jams with the little submarines all over 'em.



Well I suppose I did stick it to him just a little bit, but I gave him some time to wake up, to be fair...

PS/ Catfish made me do it

It's not over until Wolferz sings...

[Eichhörnchen]

http://i.imgur.com/X519go0.jpg?1

[Eichhörnchen]

:D

http://i.imgur.com/X519go0.jpg?1

[Armistead]

I haven't been that skinny since .....ever..

How dare you , a non Bilge member come into my home and insult me. Just wait until you see my fellow rats come to my defense! This is one place I have friends...:yeah:

[Eichhörnchen]

OK, since I'm outnumbered down there and I hear you have new attack dog by the name of Edrass, I cry "truce!" I only have Catfish to back me up now that Tango is sat up there on the fence trying to make things worse...:):)

[Armistead]

OK, since I'm outnumbered down there and I hear you have new attack dog by the name of Edrass, I cry "truce!" I only have Catfish to back me up now that Tango is sat up there on the fence trying to make things worse...:):)

You can't simply rob a rat, insult him and then declare "truce" and walk away with a smile.

[Tango589]

I only have Catfish to back me up now that Tango is sat up there on the fence trying to make things worse...:):)
I'm not trying to make things worse, I'm just amusing myself! Besides, I'll back you up, I'll put laxatives in Armisteads' Brew when he's not looking.

[Armistead]

I'm not trying to make things worse, I'm just amusing myself! Besides, I'll back you up, I'll put laxatives in Armisteads' Brew when he's not looking.


You openly declare your loyalty to the enemy:doh: right here in the bilge.
That breaks our rules.

When our leader wakes up from his last drunk, I'm sure he'll deal with you.

[Aktungbby]

JEEZE! I've tried to stay neutral here. But if our boat's padre is in cahoots with his fellow Englishman instead of his fellow sworn bilgerat brethren...THAT is a summary breach of FAITH! Perhaps a tightening of his jockstap celice and a porcupine quill hair-shirt will return him to the true faith of the BILGE...And we'll all flagellate him with our scaly tails till he is restored to 'proper pigboat piety and contrition'! If we are without spiritual guidance we are lost...maybe the Ma-Donna of the Bilge-brew will agree to be our high priestess!:up:

[Tango589]

JEEZE! I've tried to stay neutral here. But if our boat's padre is in cahoots with his fellow Englishman instead of his fellow sworn bilgerat brethren...THAT is a summary breach of FAITH! Perhaps a tightening of his jockstap celice and a porcupine quill hair-shirt will return him to the true faith of the BILGE...And we'll all flagellate him with our scaly tails till he is restored to 'proper pigboat piety and contrition'! If we are without spiritual guidance we are lost...maybe the Ma-Donna of the Bilge-brew will agree to be our high priestess!:up:

Oh crap.

[Armistead]

I say it's time for a new leader. We are supposed to vote every 4 years and Wolferz has been at it for almost 6 with no election last go. He declared my mutiny as a reason for marsha law and she left long ago.

Until elections, Wolferz should be impeached, but I'm calling for new elections. Self nominations are allowed per the previous rules from 2008. I hereby nominate myself.

For the election to be valid, the person winning must have at least 3 votes. I also vote for myself, so I need two, plus one for the win.

Let's get this done before Wolferz wakes up.

[Armistead]

Impeachment order #1

Wolferz has been indicted for impeachment proceedings per Article 5, hapter 5, Subparagraph 5, line 5.

Charges are the following:

Refusing to stand against Subsim for throwing bilge members in the brig.

Aiding and Abetting the enemy over bilge members.

Aiding And Abetting Breach Of Fiduciary Duty.

Aiding and abetting Breach of Contract.

Refusing to bathe monthly setting proper example.

Passed out while on duty.

Scared on moderators, often siding with them over the bilge.

Spellchecking.

Refusing to provide for the general care of the crew.

Conspiring to bribe.

Being of poor physical shape and a poor lover.

Refusal to attack the enemy, hell, won't even leave port.

MAINLY....He promised to lead us to a full takeover of Subsim, giving us proper legit status. He promised Neal would be gone in 2009 and his gang of moderators to be held in the bilge to serve us. Nothing......

[Aktungbby]

Well! doing anything whilst the other party slumbers is what cost us victory in the 'Who What Wear' thread so we should avoid committing the same crime we rail against so piteously; You did have 'till tea time. Your charge #5 against Wolfertz is patently and manifestly untrue; I have, on numerous occasions, witnessed, 'fearless leader' grooming himself...licking both his back-bite wounds and the CRAP of the bilge off his over-length scaly tail! If our treacherous Padre was restored to penitence and padding puissantly about on all his bilgerat clawed paws, instead of dragging his tail on matters of faith, he would instruct us that cleanliness, even in the bilge,:o is next to godliness....:sunny:

[Tango589]

Well! doing anything whilst the other party slumbers is what cost us victory in the 'Who What Wear' thread so we should avoid committing the same crime we rail against so piteously; You did have 'till tea time. Your charge #5 against Wolfertz is patently and manifestly untrue; I have, on numerous occasions, witnessed, 'fearless leader' grooming himself...licking both his back-bite wounds and the CRAP of the bilge off his over-length scaly tail! If our treacherous Padre was restored to penitence and padding puissantly about on all his bilgerat clawed paws, instead of dragging his tail on matters of faith, he would instruct us that cleanliness, even in the bilge,:o is next to godliness....:sunny:
It sounds like you've got more of an idea of what being Padre involves than me, maybe it is your calling?:woot:

[Armistead]

Well! doing anything whilst the other party slumbers is what cost us victory in the 'Who What Wear' thread so we should avoid committing the same crime we rail against so piteously; You did have 'till tea time. Your charge #5 against Wolfertz is patently and manifestly untrue; I have, on numerous occasions, witnessed, 'fearless leader' grooming himself...licking both his back-bite wounds and the CRAP of the bilge off his over-length scaly tail! If our treacherous Padre was restored to penitence and padding puissantly about on all his bilgerat clawed paws, instead of dragging his tail on matters of faith, he would instruct us that cleanliness, even in the bilge,:o is next to godliness....:sunny:


so all you want is an apology?

[Aktungbby]

It sounds like you've got more of an idea of what being Padre involves than me, maybe it is your calling?:woot:

GADZOOKS! That would be a breech of FAITH! :har: http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/picture.php?pictureid=7048&albumid=815&dl=1381536131&thumb=1 (http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/album.php?albumid=815) U-666

[Eichhörnchen]

Hey, Armistead, you Bugga! I was all for letting you get your turn when you woke up, but you like your pit too much. You lot spend far too much time asleep down there while the rest of us get on with the important stuff.

Look at all that important crap they're sorting out on the "Standard Deviation" thread; I don't know what the hell any of it means but it sure is important, I know that!

As for Tango, he doesn't know what he's saying 'cos I got Catfish to spike his cocoa with some of those magic mushrooms he likes ("tehe", as Ikalugin might say, using that sinister laugh of his).:arrgh!:

[Kaptlt.Endrass]

OK, since I'm outnumbered down there and I hear you have new attack dog by the name of Edrass, I cry "truce!" I only have Catfish to back me up now that Tango is sat up there on the fence trying to make things worse...:):)

I got promoted to attack dog? Well, I could do well with this. All I ask for is a good bone to chew from time to time (Get your minds out of the gutter, I'm talking Scotch. Just can't drink it yet...legally...:D)

Armistead, let's be lenient and give him my old rate: deck scrubbing and underwear cleaning. That should teach the lad some humility.

[Eichhörnchen]

If you mean Tango, well you can do what you like with him, he's a bilge-rat. But if you mean me, well then you'll have to come up here and find me, and everybody knows that up here:

http://i.imgur.com/6F7xdet.png?1

[Armistead]

I got promoted to attack dog? Well, I could do well with this. All I ask for is a good bone to chew from time to time (Get your minds out of the gutter, I'm talking Scotch. Just can't drink it yet...legally...:D)

Armistead, let's be lenient and give him my old rate: deck scrubbing and underwear cleaning. That should teach the lad some humility.


nice try, now get to scrubbing those stains out of my drawers....I think Wolferz passed out in the head and I couldn't make it.

[Jimbuna]

Impeachment order #1

Wolferz has been indicted for impeachment proceedings per Article 5, hapter 5, Subparagraph 5, line 5.

Charges are the following:

Refusing to stand against Subsim for throwing bilge members in the brig.

Aiding and Abetting the enemy over bilge members.

Aiding And Abetting Breach Of Fiduciary Duty.

Aiding and abetting Breach of Contract.

Refusing to bathe monthly setting proper example.

Passed out while on duty.

Scared on moderators, often siding with them over the bilge.

Spellchecking.

Refusing to provide for the general care of the crew.

Conspiring to bribe.

Being of poor physical shape and a poor lover.

Refusal to attack the enemy, hell, won't even leave port.

MAINLY....He promised to lead us to a full takeover of Subsim, giving us proper legit status. He promised Neal would be gone in 2009 and his gang of moderators to be held in the bilge to serve us. Nothing......

Have you taken your medication today?

[Tango589]

As for Tango, he doesn't know what he's saying 'cos I got Catfish to spike his cocoa with some of those magic mushrooms he likes.

I wondered why I was feeling so damn weird lately, it's them bloody mushrooms! You do know Catfish scrapes them off the walls of the septic discharge tank don't you? Who knows what diseases could be lurking in them parts? I've got a good mind to have you both loaded into the torp tubes and shot at a passing tramp steamer!:shifty:

[Eichhörnchen]

I haven't heard anything from Catfish all day today: I think he must have eaten a bad one

[Wolferz]

I am impeachie keen bby.:arrgh!: Harrr!

Armistead,
I gave the order to cast off from the pier over a week ago. Have you forgotten how to drive this pig boat?
I wondered why we weren't moving.:haha:

[Armistead]

Have you taken your medication today?

Wolferz keeps all our meds locked up in his office and doesn't think we need them.

[Armistead]

I am impeachie keen bby.:arrgh!: Harrr!

Armistead,
I gave the order to cast off from the pier over a week ago. Have you forgotten how to drive this pig boat?
I wondered why we weren't moving.:haha:

The engines don't work and even if they did we don't have fuel for them. I sent you the proper notice a month ago for repairs and fuel.

[Wolferz]

The engines don't work and even if they did we don't have fuel for them. I sent you the proper notice a month ago for repairs and fuel.

The first officer's job is to make the boat ready to sail by tasking the COB with the duties needed to accomplish it.

Contrary to popular belief...
No matter how much we appreciate the blockage of your gasses, it is not your job to stand on the bridge with your thumb firmly planted in your back side!:-?

[Aktungbby]

The engines don't work and even if they did we don't have fuel for them. I sent you the proper notice a month ago for repairs and fuel.

What ENGINE!?? Jus' git a crankin' !http://i1162.photobucket.com/albums/q527/datsun260zyojimbo/Charleston_zps03a5adb3.jpg (http://s1162.photobucket.com/user/datsun260zyojimbo/media/Charleston_zps03a5adb3.jpg.html)

[Wolferz]

What ENGINE!?? Jus' git a crankin' !http://i1162.photobucket.com/albums/q527/datsun260zyojimbo/Charleston_zps03a5adb3.jpg (http://s1162.photobucket.com/user/datsun260zyojimbo/media/Charleston_zps03a5adb3.jpg.html)
The oars will arrive next Tuesday.:D

[Catfish]

It needs some paint, maybe .. pink ?

[Eichhörnchen]

Hey, what you doing down there, Catfish? Scraping up those bilge mushrooms again? Better get back up here before they catch you...



You found what while you were down there? A photograph of Armistead's mum? Let me see that... oh that's so sweet. Look, she's written on it:

[Eichhörnchen]

http://i.imgur.com/PYXRJ9O.jpg?1

[Armistead]

The first officer's job is to make the boat ready to sail by tasking the COB with the duties needed to accomplish it.

Contrary to popular belief...
No matter how much we appreciate the blockage of your gasses, it is not your job to stand on the bridge with your thumb firmly planted in your back side!:-?

We still need your signature for request. Strange, you signed off on 10 gallons of medicinal alcohol, herpes ointment, and strawberries.....

[Wolferz]

We still need your signature for request. Strange, you signed off on 10 gallons of medicinal alcohol, herpes ointment, and strawberries.....

You forgot about my balls of steel.

>hic< Give us a kiss and I'll let you hold them.:arrgh!:

[Aktungbby]

You forgot about my balls of steel.

>hic< Give us a kiss and I'll let you hold them.:arrgh!:

To chill the medicinal alcohol of course! http://media1.picsearch.com/is?DYz2u89g0YN-zpl1H9ClyfhedhLxCw2HnlIx_4yGPgA&height=249:DA particular favorite of mine!http://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0125/9842/products/Front_Shot_Wood-studio_1024x1024.jpg?v=1412114756And let's not foget another great captain and his 'ball bearings'!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZlV3oQ3pLA0 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZlV3oQ3pLA0) :har:

[Wolferz]

The Novacaine mutiny?

[Aktungbby]

Well, I , was thinking about kinetic propulsion for our bilge-boot from this http://image.shutterstock.com/display_pic_with_logo/248572/248572,1223479784,28/stock-photo-balancing-balls-newton-s-cradle-18610246.jpg:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z3coR_48Txw (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z3coR_48Txw) to this: ...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oiQzn8aHNt8 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oiQzn8aHNt8) with some of Catfish's home grown mushrooms and a good medicinal cabernet!:doh:

[Wolferz]

That sculpture is mesmerizing.:o

[Eichhörnchen]

Well, I , was thinking about kinetic propulsion for our bilge-boot from this


Well how about from these instead: http://yoursmiles.org/tsmile/sex/t15206.gif

[Armistead]

Well how about from these instead: http://yoursmiles.org/tsmile/sex/t15206.gif

How is Wolferz gonna captain the boat and propel it with his man boobs at the same time....He's the only one on the sub that has this ability...

[Aktungbby]

How is Wolferz gonna captain the boat and propel it with his man boobs at the same time....He's the only one on the sub that has this ability...
SIMPLE! :har: ...not necessarily!!!:doh: http://www.drag-queen.com/ (http://www.drag-queen.com/)http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/f/f1/2004-GayPrideBrazil-1.jpeg/640px-2004-GayPrideBrazil-1.jpeg

[Armistead]

I'm not sure what a picture of the Bilge's aft torpedo crew have to do with the subject....

[fireftr18]

I'm not sure what a picture of the Bilge's aft torpedo crew have to do with the subject....

:timeout:
I distinctly remember assigning Donna to the aft torpedo room and none of them look like her. What have you been doing behind my back Armistead? :hmmm:

[Armistead]

You have no authority to assign, so she didn't pay attention to you....which is been the case for 5 years. She runs the kitchen....

[Buddahaid]

I'm not sure what a picture of the Bilge's aft torpedo crew have to do with the subject....

That is so funny. :salute: :har:

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-QD9DoBU1rcQ/TjPvoE3hr4I/AAAAAAAAAD8/ZY3rSKws4hM/s1600/ucjg2661_s.jpg

[fireftr18]

You have no authority to assign, so she didn't pay attention to you....which is been the case for 5 years. She runs the kitchen....

I gave myself authority to assign because no one else was doing it.
You have a point about her not paying attention to me. Why should she be different than any other female.
Just because she runs the kitchen, doesn't mean she can't be in the torpedo room too. After all, she is good.

[Armistead]

I gave myself authority to assign because no one else was doing it.
You have a point about her not paying attention to me. Why should she be different than any other female.
Just because she runs the kitchen, doesn't mean she can't be in the torpedo room too. After all, she is good.

You have no authority to give yourself authority. All positions given to the crew are determined by the officers and sent to Wolferz for approval, which he never gives, so people generally do what they want. If you've seen Donna loading the aft tube and really think she's good at it, then I guess it's OK. It's not like Wolferz will ever leave port anyway...Heck, we don't even have torps aft yet and only one forward due to both rooms being used to store Wolferz's wardrobe.

[Jeff-Groves]

This thread is just so wrong!
I can't figure out why none of you work for us yet.
:o

[Armistead]

This thread is just so wrong!
I can't figure out why none of you work for us yet.
:o

we chosen not to work at all, that's why we joined the navy, we're living off the govt....

doesn't mean some of us don't want change, but we're only good as those that lead us and right now our leader is passed out on the head....or throne as he calls it....:o

[Buddahaid]

Passed out, you amatuer! That's deep in advanced thinking technique. I mean everyone knows that!

[Wolferz]

Huh? Wha?

Whoozzat?
>hic< zzz

[Tango589]

Huh? Wha?

Whoozzat?
>hic< zzz
And so the Mighty Leader speaketh, but no-one took the blindest bit of notice and carried on as usual. I'm going to have a reversible sign made up for Wolferz' throne room. On one side it'll say 'Occupied by the Captain', and on the other it'll say 'Back in 5 minutes'.

[Armistead]

Passed out, you amatuer! That's deep in advanced thinking technique. I mean everyone knows that!

I've seen his plans, he plans to sail us all to Wewak to live amongst the natives, installing himself as king.

Then there's me, overlooked for leadership. I have a plan to make us men again, charts, graphs, advanced social training and vigorous exercise. With me, you have a chance to actually fight the enemy and die proudly for your country. Don't any of you want to be heroes?

WHO"S WITH ME?

[Jimbuna]

http://s30.postimg.org/gjfbxjs3l/image.jpg (http://postimage.org/)

[Wolferz]

I've seen his plans, he plans to sail us all to Wewak to live amongst the natives, installing himself as king.

Then there's me, overlooked for leadership. I have a plan to make us men again, charts, graphs, advanced social training and vigorous exercise. With me, you have a chance to actually fight the enemy and die proudly for your country. Don't any of you want to be heroes?

WHO"S WITH ME?

You're confused again. As usual.

The object is to make the other guys die for their country.
If you allow yourself to be killed, I'll have no choice but to bring you up on charges of DESTRUCTION OF GOVERNMENT PROPERTY. :roll:

[Armistead]

You're confused again. As usual.

The object is to make the other guys die for their country.
If you allow yourself to be killed, I'll have no choice but to bring you up on charges of DESTRUCTION OF GOVERNMENT PROPERTY. :roll:

Not likely we're gonna die here in port. Can't we just take a spin around the bay and see what our one working engine can do? Can I steer just once?

[Aktungbby]

Not likely we're gonna die here in port. Can't we just take a spin around the bay and see what our one working engine can do? Can I steer just once?

NOPE! you are the indispensable man! IE: the forward torpedo crew of our bilgerat pigboat!(It's literally a one man job!) Job description as follows: LT Armistead to personally detonate the SPAR torpedo: a series of lines that operates the spar torpedo that must be carefully pulled in sequence, in the dark, and possibly under fire. As with the immortal LT Cushing.... you coolly execute the task, a bullet(s) may "tear at his collar, and two more ripped through his clothing." the 16-foot-long iron pole that served as the sub’s weapon delivery system,... Not a release mechanism:k_confused: but rather the copper sleeve of the torpedo itself. This means the torpedo (120 lbs black powder??!!:huh:) exploded at the end of the spar, a discovery of critical importance. http://www.hunley.org/final_images/content/spar.jpg Due to the obvious expendability of your position,:Kaleun_Salute::wah: (see diagram below) You are prematurely issued The Southern Cross of Honourhttp://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/f/f2/Southern_Cross_of_Honor_%28front%29.png/138px-Southern_Cross_of_Honor_%28front%29.png to maintain the remnants of your morale and the customary letter to yer next of kin has been prepared. Naturally your access to the medicinal bilge brew shall remain unhampered. We of the cranky crew will remain with the aft torpedo room shemales -as far back from the blast as possible-maintaining the remnants of our own (steel-balled) morale!:rock::Kaleun_Cheers: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/4c/Hunley-1.jpghttp://www.hunley.org/final_images/content/HS_0069.jpg (http://javascript<b></b>:newWindow('../final_images/contentlarge/HS_0069.jpg','765','525')):subsim:

[Armistead]

What am I going to blow up? For us to do this, Wolferz must infiltrate some enemy port and he's still in the head even though he ran out of toilet paper a week ago.

Can you color code or number the lines so I don't forget the right order. Sometimes I get really stressed under stress:hmmm:, yea, I can say that.

I would also like one last visit in the aft.

[Wolferz]

NOPE! you are the indispensable man! IE: the forward torpedo crew of our bilgerat pigboat!(It's literally a one man job!) Job description as follows: LT Armistead to personally detonate the SPAR torpedo: a series of lines that operates the spar torpedo that must be carefully pulled in sequence, in the dark, and possibly under fire. As with the immortal LT Cushing.... you coolly execute the task, a bullet(s) may "tear at his collar, and two more ripped through his clothing." the 16-foot-long iron pole that served as the sub’s weapon delivery system,... Not a release mechanism:k_confused: but rather the copper sleeve of the torpedo itself. This means the torpedo (120 lbs black powder??!!:huh:) exploded at the end of the spar, a discovery of critical importance. http://www.hunley.org/final_images/content/spar.jpg Due to the obvious expendability of your position,:Kaleun_Salute::wah: (see diagram below) You are prematurely issued The Southern Cross of Honourhttp://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/f/f2/Southern_Cross_of_Honor_%28front%29.png/138px-Southern_Cross_of_Honor_%28front%29.png to maintain the remnants of your morale and the customary letter to yer next of kin has been prepared. Naturally your access to the medicinal bilge brew shall remain unhampered. We of the cranky crew will remain with the aft torpedo room shemales -as far back from the blast as possible-maintaining the remnants of our own (steel-balled) morale!:rock::Kaleun_Cheers: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/4c/Hunley-1.jpghttp://www.hunley.org/final_images/content/HS_0069.jpg (http://javascript<b></b>:newWindow('../final_images/contentlarge/HS_0069.jpg','765','525')):subsim:
And you get hoisted by your own petard.:huh:

What am I going to blow up? For us to do this, Wolferz must infiltrate some enemy port and he's still in the head even though he ran out of toilet paper a week ago.

Can you color code or number the lines so I don't forget the right order. Sometimes I get really stressed under stress:hmmm:, yea, I can say that.

I would also like one last visit in the aft.

Nobody wants to visit that swamp you call your aft. Not in it, near it or on it.
EVER! We'll just take you at your word about the "PU" tattoo on your bumper.

Did you have the "P" inked on the port cheek and the "U" inked on the starboard? That should really confuse the hookers. They won't know which end is "UP":haha:

[Aktungbby]

I would also like one last visit in the aft.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/4c/Hunley-1.jpg
^Seating Arrangements: in order of Expendability bow to stern...no changes allowed! Armistead;Kapit.Endraß;Wolfertz;Tango;FireFtr8;Swa mprat;Aktung;Donna-alway polite to ladies! PS: ARMIBBY whose aft did you have in mind?:O: The color code is 1. Red/ 2. White/ and 3. Blew...sky high!:woot:I kept it reeeal simple.

[Armistead]

So I sink my spar into the enemy while pulling with you guys aft of me?

When I start pulling, do I just jerk once or over and over until the explosion?

What if something goes wrong, do we have a plan B?

Maybe someone else should do it, I'll just make a big mess of it...

[swamprat69er]

I think you can do your own pulling.

[Wolferz]

Only truck drivers have intimate knowledge of pulling things.:O:

Forget the complicated lanyard system. We'll give Armistead a Bic to light the fuse on the charge.:D

On second thought, we better make that a box of strike anywhere kitchen matches.
Try not to ignite those bubbles coming from your aft.

[Armistead]

Only truck drivers have intimate knowledge of pulling things.:O:

Forget the complicated lanyard system. We'll give Armistead a Bic to light the fuse on the charge.:D

On second thought, we better make that a box of strike anywhere kitchen matches.
Try not to ignite those bubbles coming from your aft.


maybe we should give it a dry run first...

[swamprat69er]

maybe we should give it a dry run first...
That might hurt.

[Aktungbby]

maybe we should give it a dry run first...

That might hurt.

NAH! we'll all chip in for his last tube of Aft-O-Glide and as long as there's any amount of bilgebrew...dry runs are unwarranted! Anticipatory 'big-bang' lack of confidence can dry a rat out! http://image.shutterstock.com/display_pic_with_logo/1058333/140755786/stock-vector-vector-illustration-of-cartoon-rat-scared-140755786.jpg Naturally I'll be aft next to Donna...consoling her on your late but glorious petard hoisthttp://image.shutterstock.com/display_pic_with_logo/265489/141673747/stock-vector-evil-cartoon-rat-vector-clip-art-illustration-with-simple-gradients-all-in-a-single-layer-141673747.jpg while Wolfertz...not called fearless leader fer nuthin', washes down Catfish's mushrooms with ALL of what's left of your filched Bilgebrew ration. http://image.shutterstock.com/display_pic_with_logo/265489/265489,1274992258,1/stock-vector-cartoon-rat-stealing-and-running-simple-gradients-used-character-and-shadow-on-separate-layers-54019636.jpg Even as Fireftr8, Tango and Swamprat, none the worse for wear, look on in utter disgust and sulk at being schlamboozled out of the customary communal gnaw on leftovers! http://image.shutterstock.com/display_pic_with_logo/265489/265489,1310680784,1/stock-vector-three-evil-looking-cartoon-rats-vector-illustration-with-simple-gradients-all-in-separate-layers-81002965.jpg

[Eichhörnchen]

http://i.imgur.com/MeEmdO3.png?1


Not wishing to aggravate any sensitive feelings, but who are you going to get to do your cooking down there in that putrid bung-hole of yours, if Donna really has gone? I might be persuaded to help out for a consideration, but it would be sure to contain traces of nuts (and maybe the odd caterpillar)...

[Armistead]

http://i.imgur.com/MeEmdO3.png?1


Not wishing to aggravate any sensitive feelings, but who are you going to get to do your cooking down there in that putrid bung-hole of yours, if Donna really has gone? I might be persuaded to help out for a consideration, but it would be sure to contain traces of nuts (and maybe the odd caterpillar)...

Donna had a meltdown due to the conditions in the bilge. She is currently under the care of the bilge psychologist. Once we get her meds adjusted, she'll be be returned to duty.

All the guys in the bilge stand firmly behind Donna during this time......

[Aktungbby]

http://i.imgur.com/MeEmdO3.png?1


Not wishing to aggravate any sensitive feelings, but who are you going to get to do your cooking down there in that putrid bung-hole of yours, if Donna really has gone? I might be persuaded to help out for a consideration, but it would be sure to contain traces of nuts (and maybe the odd caterpillar)...Donna had a meltdown due to the conditions in the bilge. She is currently under the care of the bilge psychologist.Our new Chef...
http://extras.mnginteractive.com/live/media/site36/2007/0710/20070710_084331_fd11rat.jpg
vs Donna's meltdown issue: http://lowres.cartoonstock.com/animals-mice-rodent-rat-rat_trap-mousetrap-ehon143_low.jpg:hmmm:

[Armistead]

OK men, just got a order from the head...

Directive 212

Tango will take on cooking duties while Donna is under treatment. Tango will also continue in his duties as high priest, but will not be taking confessions. We will now have a sin box, just write your sins down and place them in the box. This way Tango can deal with all sin with one prayer once a week....


Zod

[Wolferz]

Ratatouille again?!
Nice.:up:

[Aktungbby]

OK men, just got a order from the head...

Directive 212

Tango will take on cooking duties while Donna is under treatment. Tango will also continue in his duties as high priest, but will not be taking confessions. We will now have a sin box, just write your sins down and place them in the box. This way Tango can deal with all sin with one prayer once a week....


Zod HEY! if Tango says grace while he's cookin'... It'll save us the trouble. and that'll be the sin we drop in the box! :know::yeah:

[swamprat69er]

You guys can drop all your sins in the box......I am pure, I don't sin.:):D

[Armistead]

HEY! if Tango says grace while he's cookin'... It'll save us the trouble. and that'll be the sin we drop in the box! :know::yeah:


BTW, your request to bring a goat on patrol has been approved as "meals on hoof" by Wolferz. Please keep it tied up...

[Aktungbby]

UH HUH I'll bring the goat but we're lockin' up the Aft-O-Glide while it's aboard! No messin' with the nanny! :03:

[Armistead]

UH HUH I'll bring the goat but we're lockin' up the Aft-O-Glide while it's aboard! No messin' with the nanny! :03:

What goes on aft, stays in the aft......Don't forget the sin box!

There's been a lot of activity in the head lately along with a bunch of grunting. With Wolferz sliding some directives under the door, I believe he's coming back to normal:o and we'll be making headway soon....

Aktunk, I'm promoting you to COB so you'll be positioned directly under me. Time to start whipping the crew into shape....

[Aktungbby]

....promoting you to COB so you'll positioned directly under me. NOT HAPPENIN"!!! I know what You use 'cobs positioned directly under you' for! :Kaleun_Goofy:'Specially since fearless leader is locked in the head with the pigboat's TP allotment...buffing his Rat's tail scales to a gleam! We are forced to be innovative....you get back the TP and use the corn to feed the nanny-goat and I'll reconsider and if ya wanna teach Tango, the chef-padre, to make corn pone with bilgebrew gravy 'n grits ....well I've dined in Southern truck stops; it beats Breitlingspülver. http://us.123rf.com/450wm/costin79/costin791206/costin79120600019/13957075-a-lot-of-old-corn-maize.jpg

[Armistead]

Aktung, you will follow orders. Everyone must know their position, you're under me, Swamp is under you and so on. Sorry, everyone can't be on top. Imagine a branch diagram chart, there's Wolferz, then me under him, you under me. Your position is most important, because you have several men under you at the same time, all looking for your guidance.

Now, assign positions to all the men under you and I'll stand behind you all the way....

[Aktungbby]

Now, assign positions to all the men under you and I'll stand behind you all the way....Already done: as far as the battle stations are concerned...uuuuh yer still up front! So no need to stand behind me!:woot: :O:
Seating Arrangements: in order of Expendability bow to stern...no changes allowed! Armistead;Kapit.Endraß;Wolfertz;Tango;FireFtr8;Swa mprat;Aktung;Donna

[Tango589]

OK men, just got a order from the head...

Directive 212

Tango will take on cooking duties while Donna is under treatment. Tango will also continue in his duties as high priest, but will not be taking confessions. We will now have a sin box, just write your sins down and place them in the box. This way Tango can deal with all sin with one prayer once a week....


Zod
If I'm doing the cooking I can use the sins dropped in the confession box to add some much needed roughage to the diet. I don't know where the hell Donna kept the ingredients but there's nothing in here apart from some strips of shoe leather, a jar full of long deceased cockroaches, gravy granules, some of those weird mushrooms I had to endure recently and half a bottle of salad cream that has gone green round the gills. So, seeing as we're still in dock, I nominate Swampy to take some cash out of the kitty and come back with 6 large fish and chip dinners. Anyone who wishes to stop by the galley with recipe ideas will receive 3 Hail Marys, a benediction and a shot of Communion Brew (Bilge Brew with an added extra shot of bilge water that has been three-times blessed by Pope Benedictus the Umpteenth).

[swamprat69er]

6 large fish and chip dinners.
Tuna?

[Armistead]

If I'm doing the cooking I can use the sins dropped in the confession box to add some much needed roughage to the diet. I don't know where the hell Donna kept the ingredients but there's nothing in here apart from some strips of shoe leather, a jar full of long deceased cockroaches, gravy granules, some of those weird mushrooms I had to endure recently and half a bottle of salad cream that has gone green round the gills. So, seeing as we're still in dock, I nominate Swampy to take some cash out of the kitty and come back with 6 large fish and chip dinners. Anyone who wishes to stop by the galley with recipe ideas will receive 3 Hail Marys, a benediction and a shot of Communion Brew (Bilge Brew with an added extra shot of bilge water that has been three-times blessed by Pope Benedictus the Umpteenth).

Our food supplies are limited because it's a one way trip to Wewak. Back during WW1 when Wolferz was a young Lt, he led a mutiny of his first command where we lived among the natives. Please note, I was tricked to go along.We left Norfolk in small minelayer, went south, through the Panama Canal:D and got lost in the vastness of the Pacific..

Things went well at first, we made friends, danced, drank and learned to enjoy the native diet. Here is a picture of Wolferz and Wern. Wolferz fell madly in love with Chief Buka's daughter in this photo named Kinki.
http://i651.photobucket.com/albums/uu235/Armistead1424/Armistead1424144/images45_zps793bb42d.jpg

Chief Buka declared that Wolferz would take his daughters hand in marriage to provide him many grandchildren.

http://i651.photobucket.com/albums/uu235/Armistead1424/Armistead1424145/2085155635_979b997a01_zps4236e0b6.jpg

Well, Wolferz was all good about it, until he found out he wasn't being married to Kinki, but her sister, Princess Lulu.

http://i651.photobucket.com/albums/uu235/Armistead1424/Armistead1424145/download16_zpsdc0f61be.jpg

Wolferz tried to get out of the wedding, but was forced and over the next 10 years Lulu provided Wolferz with 13 children. We finally planned our escape during the festivus of bull testes. We took the one remaining lifeboat and spent 32 days at sea. It got bad, we got hungry. I knew death was upon me, so I proudly stood bare before the men and said "when I die, please eat my flesh so you may live." After vomiting from overwhelming sadness, Wolferz somehow found energy, stood up and ordered the men to ROW...and we made it back home..


http://i651.photobucket.com/albums/uu235/Armistead1424/Armistead1424144/mutiny-on-the-bounty-boat2_zps749ad8cd.jpg


I believe Wolferz plans to return to Wewak and find his first love Kinki after seeking revenge on Chief Buka and Lulu...

Some think I'm mad, I'm just in the know...

[Jimbuna]

^ Possibly the best and funniest post on this thread.

[Armistead]

I think I will nominate "The Bilge" for thread of the year. With our vast membership it would be a powerful voting block and with a win for Wolferz. maybe we would be taken seriously.

[Aktungbby]

What a beautiful post! Completely illustrated! Kinda rubs off! :smug: And I can see where in a starved fit of messianic ennui and torper you might offer your dessicated corpus not delicti for the communal gnaw. We have 'beef Wellington' 'Chicken Marengo' 'Eggs Benedict' even the Sandwich(after the earl) Now we will have Rûmpe d' Armístèd Fricásee in a brown sugar/rum(Pusser's) mustard glaze(to hide the taste) with capers, a side of collard greens and corn pone from your cob stash by the head and a garnish of Catfish's hallucinatory mushrooms. :Kaleun_Salivating:With some of Pádre Tango's communion Chianti!!