British Football Thread (all divisions)

[BossMark]

Just waiting for my sister to come and pick a TV then its down to the pub to watch it.

[Jimbuna]

Sooooooo....the mackems got hammered 2-1 :)

[BossMark]

Sooooooo....the mackems got hammered 2-1 :)
3-1 would have been nicer :yep:

[Jimbuna]

3-1 would have been nicer :yep:

Yeah, I remember :)

TBH I was fearing a reversal of the score before the match started, a 2-1 home win :-?

[BossMark]

On April fools day, Bayern Munich have just come out with a classic.

They've managed to make thousands believe that Manchester United have a chance of making it through.

[Jimbuna]

Chelsea get their chance tonight.

[BossMark]

Chelsea get their chance tonight.
Not going to predict a score, but I think they will get beat tonight.

[Jimbuna]

A man has been arrested for throwing rubbish onto the pitch at Old Trafford.
A Mr David Moyes will appear before magistrates in the morning.

[Jimbuna]

Serves the buggas right...they win too many games for my liking :)

Spanish champions Barcelona have been given a 14-month transfer ban by Fifa for breaking rules on signing international players under 18.
The Catalan club cannot buy or sell players until the summer of 2015 after the world governing body imposed a transfer ban for the next two windows.
They have also been fined 450,000 Swiss Francs (£305,000).

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/26852466

[BossMark]

Barcelona handed 2 year Transfer Ban by UEFA!

Arsene Wenger now favourite to take the Barca Job!

[Jimbuna]

A bit surprised at the Chelsea game scoreline...I thought they were the better team.

[BossMark]

I am stuck in two minds, do I save up and go on an American cruise, and blow loads more money in Las Vegas?

Or do I save even more money and go out to buy an England football shirt?

[BossMark]

Just a prediction and I might stick a tenner on it
Bayern Munich 3 Man United 0

[Jimbuna]

At work last night and the supervisor (who is a sad mackem) comes into the warm room early on in the Spurs match to tell us Sunderland have took an early lead.

Never saw him again after that, final score Spurs 5 - 1 Sunderland :)

[BossMark]

Champions league draw
Real Madrid v Bayern Munich
Athletico Madrid v Chelsea

The best draw Chelsea could have hoped for.

[Jimbuna]

Rgr that...the winner of the other semi will probably be the outright winner.

[BossMark]

Bloody hell its a miracle my team, Leeds managed a 2-0 win over Blackpool today.

[the_tyrant]

WOOT! Fulham beat Norwich 1-0 today, almost clear of relegation

Ps: BossMark, you still consider Leeds and Manchester United to be fierce rivals? They haven't played against each other in years, but with david moyes at the helm, i can see manchester united coming to the championship next season!

[BossMark]

Ps: BossMark, you still consider Leeds and Manchester United to be fierce rivals? They haven't played against each other in years, but with david moyes at the helm, i can see manchester united coming to the championship next season!
Well lets put like this, I want them to get beat every time they play :yep:

[Jimbuna]

TOON as usual got beat and failed to score yet again but on the bright side, all the results went against the mackems so their two games in hand don't really matter all that much atm.

[BossMark]

Rumours that David Moyes may be getting replaced next season have been met with angry protests outside the ground.

Man U officials have asked the police to remove the rival fans from the area.

[Jimbuna]

http://s16.postimg.org/o4r9b5kxh/image.jpg (http://postimage.org/)

[Jimbuna]

The lawyers at Cardiff contacted the FA to tell them they will be sending a letter of complaint over the 'leaked team' allegations.

The FA told them not to bother sending the letter, they've already seen it.

[BossMark]

Just thought I would try my luck with a £10 treble
Leeds to beat Barnsley
Middlesbrough to beat Millwall
Forest to beat Birmingham City

Pays just short of 110 quid.

[Jimbuna]

I hope the smoggies don't let you down...they usually do.

[BossMark]

I hope the smoggies don't let you down...they usually do.
Looks like you could be right the useless gits are 2-0 down :nope:

[Jimbuna]

Looks like you could be right the useless gits are 2-0 down :nope:

Aye they lost 1-2...hate to say it but told you so.

[BossMark]

That was a shock the mackems winning at Chelsea :nope:, now I think the title will be Liverpool's when they win 4-0 at Norwich today

[TarJak]

Hammers done 0-1 against Palace. :nope: bunch of no hopers.

[BossMark]

David Moyes claiming that he is responsible for Everton's success this year is the same crap as when you claim to have loosened the jar lid for the person who opens it.

[Jimbuna]

That was a shock the mackems winning at Chelsea :nope:, now I think the title will be Liverpool's when they win 4-0 at Norwich today

Too bloody true :nope:

I was working with a guy last night who put a fiver on them to win with 15 minutes to go on BetFred online via his iPhone.

He said "Do you want a fiver on as well"? and I said "No chance" :oops:

[Jimbuna]

Hammers done 0-1 against Palace. :nope: bunch of no hopers.

I shouldn't worry mate, the TOON did their usual act of snatching defeat from the jaws of victory against Swansea :)

[BossMark]

And Leeds managed a good win over the dingles.

[Jimbuna]

Leeds...that small town in Yorkshire :hmmm:

[BossMark]

Leeds...that small town in Yorkshire :hmmm:
The capital of the north yes :yep:

[Jimbuna]

The capital of the north yes :yep:

North Yorkshire perhaps but only at a great stretch of the imagination :)

[BossMark]

North Yorkshire perhaps but only at a great stretch of the imagination :)
Err Jim Leeds is in West Yorkshire :yep:

[Jimbuna]

Err Jim Leeds is in West Yorkshire :yep:

North, South, East or West, still the land of all you Yorkshire puddings :O:

[BossMark]

A very well done to both Liverpool and Arsenal, a very big well done to Everton on making it mathematical impossible for Man U to finish in the top 4

[Jimbuna]

We need WBA to do the business next.

[BossMark]

Just watched the latest showing of Most Haunted.

David Moyes face as he left Goodison Park.

[Jimbuna]

Would love to see WBA beat City tonight.

[BossMark]

Would love to see WBA beat City tonight.
West Brom are 11\1 with Skybet :hmm2:

[Jimbuna]

West Brom are 11\1 with Skybet :hmm2:

I'd want odds like that just for them scoring a goal :)

[Jimbuna]

Word on the Moyes situation is that his sacking is imminent.

[BossMark]

Word on the Moyes situation is that his sacking is imminent.
Sacked now, its a shame because he was doing a great job :haha:

[BossMark]

Ryan Giggs has been appointed Manchester Utd's caretaker manager, given that he's a specialist in playing away from home.

[Jimbuna]

Never good to see anyone getting sacked but this was inevitable considering the results this season.

[BossMark]

David Moyes shouldn't worry about getting another job.

After receiving 4 million for being a complete failure, he'll be running a bank in no time.

[Jimbuna]

Following his sacking from Man Utd, David Moyes has wasted no time in getting a new job working for Sky.

He installs his first dish next Monday.

[BossMark]

Heard that Giggs will have a more "hands-on" approach in his job of being manager.

First order of business is a "bring your wife to work" day.

[Jimbuna]

Following the sacking of Moyes, the police have been called to quell the protests outside Old Trafford.

The Liverpool, Man City, and Chelsea fans have been all told to go home.

[BossMark]

Moyes should join UKIP, look how quickly he got united out of Europe

[Jimbuna]

http://s4.postimg.org/olpmm1hfx/image.jpg (http://postimage.org/)

[BossMark]

Each time David Moyes has a coffee, he must know it's the only cup he's ever going to lift.

[Jimbuna]

Give me one reason why I would not like to be in David Moyes shoes right now and I will give you 4 million reasons why I would

[BossMark]

Ryan Giggs is the first person in history to have both played and managed Man Utd and slept with his brother's wife.

[Jimbuna]

A good result for Chelsea last night.

[BossMark]

A good result for Chelsea last night.
Yes I had a bet 30 quid with a lad at work for who gets to the final and I have Chelsea.

[Jimbuna]

Jurgan Klopp has ruled himself out of the man utd job but said his brother Klipity might be interested.

[BossMark]

David Moyes is sitting at home on Football Manager trying to reload his save from August 2013

[Jimbuna]

A lot of people are saying David Moyes was stabbed in the back by Ryan Giggs.

I thought he treated him like a brother.

[BossMark]

After finding out that I lost my job, my wife tried to cheer me up. "Hey Dan, do you want to have a little fun tonight?"

"Sorry love, I'm just not up to it now." I said.

"bloody hell, your just like David Moyes" she muttered.

"Just because I got sacked?" I asked

"No" she said, "because if you form at home doesn't improve, I'll have to bring in Ryan Giggs to finish the job."

[Jimbuna]

'Man U have sacked David Moyes and placed Ryan Giggs in charge of team affairs for the remainder of the season'

Well if ever there was an expert on affairs.......

[Jimbuna]

A father with 11 kids decides he is going out for a while and asks his friend to come in and look after the kids. After their dad leaves the kids begin acting up and not behaving for their dad's friend, doing their best to get him to leave. Eventually the kids force their dad's friend out of the house, the eldest child takes over to calm things down until the end of the season when Manchester United begin their search for another manager.

[Jimbuna]

Giggs introduced as 'David'

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/27155713

[Jimbuna]

A father with 11 kids decides he is going out for a while and asks his friend to come in and look after the kids. After their dad leaves the kids begin acting up and not behaving for their dad's friend, doing their best to get him to leave. Eventually the kids force their dad's friend out of the house, the eldest child takes over to calm things down until the end of the season when Manchester United begin their search for another manager.

Two posts up.

[Jimbuna]

Looking forward to the Mackems v Cardiff tomorrow but not so much to the Arsenal v TOON on Monday.

[BossMark]

Two posts up.
Yes just seen it, and I just found my reading glasses as well so that helps to see a bit better:D

[BossMark]

In a private moment today, David Moyes drank some tea.

Then closed his eyes, smiled and with both hands, lifted the empty cup above his head.

[Jimbuna]

Giggs could takeover as caretaker. He’ll have to bring harmony to a fractured dressing room. He can’t even bring harmony to a family dinner.

[BossMark]

Might try me luck on these teams today.
Burnley
QPR
Derby
Wigan

Am a bit skint so might not bother :hmm2:

[Jimbuna]

Millwall could be a tough cookie.

Southampton one up against Everton.

[BossMark]

The failure to play Ryan Giggs was one of the key downfalls of David Moyes.

Today, the caretaker manager also failed to pick Giggs, I suspect they will be having words.

[Jimbuna]

I did warn you about Millwall :smug:

Off downstairs now to hopefully witness the mackems getting a beaten off Cardiff.

[BossMark]

Bloody Mackems 1-0 up :nope:

[BossMark]

Hope Liverpool win by a similar score as what the Mackems won by.

[Bulls_eye]

Here is who I think will win their respected league

Premiership-Man City
Championship-QPR
League 1-Wolves
League 2-Southend

Agree

[Jimbuna]

Hope Liverpool win by a similar score as what the Mackems won by.

Bloody 4-0 :o

:/\\!!

[Jimbuna]

Here is who I think will win their respected league

Premiership-Man City
Championship-QPR
League 1-Wolves
League 2-Southend

Agree

Well I suppose one out of four is better than none :)

[Jimbuna]

Will this guy ever learn? :nope:

Swindon Town footballer Nile Ranger sought by police

Police say they are looking to interview Swindon Town footballer Nile Ranger in connection with an assault on a woman and criminal damage to flats.

Wiltshire Police said the building's management company handed over CCTV showing a man "punching a female" and "kicking and smashing a door and lift".

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-wiltshire-27178032

[BossMark]

Steven Gerrard walks into a Ba ...

... And that son is how Liverpool missed out on the 2014 Premier League title.

[BossMark]

Toon doing OK at the moment 20 minutes gone and still 0-0

[BossMark]

!-0 Arsenal me and my big mouth :nope:

[Jimbuna]

Same old same old.

[mapuc]

my response :wah::wah::nope:

Well better luck next time.

Markus

[Jimbuna]

Relegation for sure next season unless Ashley spends some money which is highly unlikely.

[BossMark]

I often splash out on over-priced clothes.

I buy Manchester United shirts and piss on them.

[Jimbuna]

Can Chelsea succeed tonight? and if so, do they have any chance in the final?

[nikimcbee]

I saw this game on the tele. What's up with the Toon?:06: As an hono(u)rary Geordie, you guys better bloody win when you're on the tele!:D

[Jimbuna]

I saw this game on the tele. What's up with the Toon?:06: As an hono(u)rary Geordie, you guys better bloddy win when you're on the tele!:D

The TOON are struggling Jason...good job the first half of the season was a success.

[Jimbuna]

Can Chelsea succeed tonight? and if so, do they have any chance in the final?

Looks like Stamford Bridge last night was a bridge too far.

[BossMark]

Looks like Stamford Bridge last night was a bridge too far.
My money is on a Madrid win in the final :haha:

[Jimbuna]

Oviously...but the Rael deal to be sure :03:

[BossMark]

What's the difference between Maddy McCann and Chelsea FC?

You might get to see Maddy McCann in Portugal.

[Jimbuna]

There's talk of Keegan returning to the TOON but I doubt it when you consider he took Ashley to an employment tribunal the last time he was there...and won his case.

[TarJak]

Hammers 1-0 up against Spurs. :woot:

[TarJak]

Correction. Make that 2-0 at half time :sunny:

[the_tyrant]

:wah: Fulham

Well, at least the Fulham shirts are cheap right now, but you can't even get the premier league patch as an option anymore

[BossMark]

Cardiff also relegated :haha:

[Jimbuna]

Correction. Make that 2-0 at half time :sunny:

Watched the game on a giant screen in a pub at Newcastle Central Station (getting oiled up before the wedding ceremony).

[Jimbuna]

Cardiff also relegated :haha:

Only managed to see the first half...a rare win for the TOON.

Mackems are beginning to look safe after their defeat of the skunks :/\\!!

[BossMark]

Hate to say it but it was a great result for the Mackems.

[TarJak]

Watched the game on a giant screen in a pub at Newcastle Central Station (getting oiled up before the wedding ceremony).

I watched it on a big screen at pub also post an engagement party. Unfortunately I was the designated driver for the evening.:stare:

[Jimbuna]

I watched it on a big screen at pub also post an engagement party. Unfortunately I was the designated driver for the evening.:stare:

I might have traded places with you driving-wise...cost me £52 for two taxis :shifty:

[BossMark]

After Man Utd's 1-0 defeat to Sunderland, it was good to see Ryan Giggs had learnt so much working under Old Trafford legend - David Moyes.

[Jimbuna]

The English FA are said to be horrified at how filthy and insecure Rio is.

Frankly I don't think he'll be in the team anyway, so it shouldn't be an issue.

[BossMark]

David Moyes would never have lost a 3-0 lead like Liverpool did.

Mainly because he wouldn't have got the 3-0 lead in the first place.

[Jimbuna]

Looks like Palace may have gifted the title to City.

[BossMark]

Now all those crying scousers know how it feels to have something stolen from them for a change.

[TarJak]

Big difference between the EPL trophy and hubcaps though.

[Jimbuna]

A support line for Liverpool fans has just been set up. 0800 3-0 3-1 3-2 3-3.

[BossMark]

Maybe Villa can do Liverpool a favour tonight?????

[mapuc]

This weekend two of Denmark biggest national football teams met and as usual there was much trouble between the fans

A friend of mine want A total banning of football

I asked him, why the other 95-98 % who know how to behave should be punished.

Markus

[BossMark]

^^
Those arrested for causing trouble should be banned from every football stadium in Europe if not the world.

[mapuc]

^^
Those arrested for causing trouble should be banned from every football stadium in Europe if not the world.


Agree totally.

It's very sad that there are "special people"(could have used a stronger word, but this is subsim so I don't)who destroy someting wonderful

Ain't it wonderful, you and your friends meet at a pub have a pint or two and then walk to the stadium watch a great game, maybe your team lose and if they do, you take it with head up

After you walk back to a pub, have another pint or two and discuss the game

Or you watch it with friends on a big Screen at some pub.

Markus

[TarJak]

Should do what the do in India. Send the cops in with big bamboo canes and whack the sods around the head for a bit. They tend to bugger off and behave then.

http://static.sify.com/cms/image/lcyt2Kfbggf.jpg

Cricket fans copping a caning: http://www.sify.com/news/when-cricket-means-crowd-chaos-and-caning-news-national-lcysEsajdig.html

[mapuc]

It's a problem all around Europe

This happen in Sweden a few month ago

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2592756/Swedish-league-match-abandoned-Djurgarden-fan-dies-assaulted-way-match-against-Helsingborg.html

Markus

[Jimbuna]

Maybe Villa can do Liverpool a favour tonight?????

Apparently not :shifty:

The mackems won as well, climbing to 14th :/\\!!

[BossMark]

There's a huge sigh of relief from all the blokes that said they would get married when Liverpool won the league....close one eh?

[Jimbuna]

Not nearly as much as those who said they'd go on the straight and narrow.

[BossMark]

Phil Jones in World Cup Squad Shock...he might get bloody picked.

[Jimbuna]

An interesting article on the 2014 England World Cup squad:

http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/football/international/world-cup-2014-england-squad-announcement--five-issues-for-roy-hodgson-9339953.html

[Jimbuna]

Last day of the current Premiership seasen...my season ended after the mackems ensured their survival :/\\!!

[Jimbuna]

FACT: Andy Carroll has scored 5 goals against Man City. After today's game he will still have scored 5 goals against Man City.

[TarJak]

True but I didn't expect anything more.

[mapuc]

Next year then.....

(If not next year, then the year after or......)

Markus

[BossMark]

I feel sorry for Roy Hodgson. It must be difficult to examine every Englishman in the Premier League and decide which two to leave at home.

[Jimbuna]

Man City being the obvious example with only Hart and Milner having played regularly all season.

[Jimbuna]

Feeling down? Depressed? Suicidal? Need a shoulder to cry on, or someone to talk to?

Well bog off then, no one forced you to support Liverpool.

[Oberon]

Manchester City's open top bus parade route is announced

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BnX52QfIcAAQwCF.jpg

[Jimbuna]

^ :har:

Post of the day :sunny:

[BossMark]

^ :har:

Post of the day :sunny:
I'll second that :rotfl2::rotfl2:

[Jimbuna]

Now don't get all upset , doc said you should mind your pressure .
Meanwhile , have a good look at the ENGLISH Premier League champions

Celebrating Manchester City's Premier League win with Sheikhs Mohammed, Saif, Mansour and Abdullah bin Zayed
HH Sheikh Mohammed, a member of the Dubai royal family, on Twitter:
http://s11.postimg.org/e7f844l8j/image.jpg (http://postimage.org/)

[Jimbuna]

http://s18.postimg.org/m4jtvre95/image.jpg (http://postimage.org/)

[BossMark]

^^
WOW what a difference......

[Jimbuna]

Indeed, I'm surprised City and the TOON weren't joint bottom.

[mapuc]

So Man C should give a big thanks to their foreign players if I understand it correctly

Markus

[Jimbuna]

So Man C should give a big thanks to their foreign players if I understand it correctly

Markus

Correct :yep:

[BossMark]

Amazing creature the mayfly; it has a life span of only 24 hours - a shade less than the average Premier League football club manager.

[BossMark]

Chelsea agree £32 million Costa deal.

For that they got a skinny Latte and a packet of two shortbread fingers.

[Jimbuna]

Average job lifetime for a manager is thirteen months.

[BossMark]

A Lorry full of chickens has overturned this morning on the M60.
Police say they were travelling back from Anfield, where Liverpool FC had been counting them for the last 8-10 weeks.

[the_tyrant]

Premier League table:

1. Arab money
2. American money
3. Russian money
4. Don't spend money
5. What's money?
6. Gareth Bale money
7. Waste of money

[Jimbuna]

^ :)

[Jimbuna]

If you kill yourself, its SUICIDE

If you kill another person its HOMICIDE

If you kill thousand of people its GENICIDE

If you don't win the Premier League for 24 years its MERSEYSIDE

[Jimbuna]

Former England goalkeeper David James has been declared bankrupt.

He could never save anything anyway.

[Jimbuna]

I'm going to vote to get us out of Europe in the forth coming Elections...If David Moyes is running I'll vote for him...he did a brilliant Job getting United out of Europe.

[the_tyrant]

I'm going to vote to get us out of Europe in the forth coming Elections...If David Moyes is running I'll vote for him...he did a brilliant Job getting United out of Europe.

I almost feel bad for laughing at these jokes, but they are just too funny.
https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/t1.0-9/10339954_724076894304660_2814537453700138815_n.jpg

[Jimbuna]

http://s22.postimg.org/vadcy9cyp/image.png (http://postimage.org/)

[BossMark]

Come on Arsenal batter the cods

[Jimbuna]

Hull take a 2-0 lead then Arsenal pull one back on 17 minutes.

Edit: Half time and Hull lead 2-1

[BossMark]

I'm so pleased after so long a prestigious big club has finally won the trophy it deserves after years of being in the wilderness. It's taken giant strides in the right direction...
Congrats Atletico

[Jimbuna]

Not sure if that was a smile I saw on Wengers face after the final whistle...probably not :hmmm:

[BossMark]

Mohamed Al Fayed has blamed Fulham's relegation this season on them removing the statue of Michael Jackson that he'd put up.

Well at least he didn't blame it on the sunshine.

[Jimbuna]

Gateshead failed to gain a place in the Football League yesterday, going down 2-1 to Cambridge United.

Bad luck boys...perhaps next year.

[BossMark]

After 963 games, 168 goals and 8 years sleeping with his brothers wife, Ryan Giggs has announced his retirement from professional football .

[Jimbuna]

Footballs current worst kept secret.

Louis van Gaal has been named as Manchester United manager, with Ryan Giggs as his assistant.
Van Gaal, 62, has signed a three-year contract to succeed David Moyes.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/27243233

[BossMark]

So I hear Ryan Giggs is set to retire from playing. It's about time he stayed loyal to Stacy

[Jimbuna]

Q: What do you get if you see a Leeds United fan buried up to his neck in sand? A: More sand

[BossMark]

Q: What do you get if you see a Leeds United fan buried up to his neck in sand? A: More sand
:shifty::D

[BossMark]

In other news, Max Headroom has been appointed Man Utd boss on a 3 year deal.

[Jimbuna]

SKY SPORTS.
Louis Van Gaal to be appointed new Manchester United manager.

Ryan Giggs "At least he speaks better English than the last two"

[BossMark]

I read in the paper today a footballer died after horror challenge during an Indonesian Premier League match.

I didn't realise Roy Keane was playing out there.

[Jimbuna]

I was playing Football Manager on my PC when I was offered the Scotland job. I knew it was a poor squad with no future, so I declined the offer. I then put the phone down and got back to Football Manager.

[Jimbuna]

Liverpool fans plan to hold a minutes silence for the victims of the Heysel Stadium disaster, not out of respect, they just don't like talking about that one too much.

[BossMark]

The owner of Manchester City goes into the changing room to show Yaya Toure some love.

"I'm very sorry, Yaya," he says. "It was disrespectful to forget your birthday. I've done my research, and I now know everything about you. Ask me anything..."

"OK," shouts Yaya, from the other side of the room. "Why are you talking to Micah Richards?"

[Jimbuna]

BREAKING NEWS: Manchester United have quietly Cancelled Marouane Fellaini's Birthday Celebrations and crossed their fingers..

[BossMark]

Did the Celtic hierarchy forget Neil Lennon's birthday?

[Jimbuna]

Nope but they expect a little more success in Europe...fat chance.

[BossMark]

Memorable dates in Manchester City's Illustrious History:

1937: Division 1 Title Winners for the first time, under Wilf Wild
1956: FA Cup Winners under Les McDowall
1968: Division 1 Title Winners under Joe Mercer
1969: FA Cup Winners under Joe Mercer
1983: Yaya Toure is born
1984: Yaya Toure's 1st Birthday
1985: Yaya Toure's 2nd Birthday
1986: Yaya Toure's 3rd Birthday
1987: Yaya Toure's 4th Birthday
1988: Yaya Toure's 5th Birthday
1989: Yaya Toure's 6th Birthday
1990: Yaya Toure's 7th Birthday
1991: Yaya Toure's 8th Birthday
1992: Yaya Toure's 9th Birthday
1993: Yaya Toure's 10th Birthday
1994: Yaya Toure's 11th Birthday
1995: Yaya Toure's 12th Birthday
1996: Yaya Toure's 13th Birthday
1997: Yaya Toure's 14th Birthday
1998: Yaya Toure's 15th Birthday
1999: Yaya Toure's 16th Birthday
2000: Yaya Toure's 17th Birthday
2001: Yaya Toure's 18th Birthday
2002: Yaya Toure's 19th Birthday
2003: Yaya Toure's 20th Birthday
2004: Yaya Toure's 21st Birthday
2005: Yaya Toure's 22nd Birthday
2006: Yaya Toure's 23rd Birthday
2007: Yaya Toure's 24th Birthday
2008: Yaya Toure's 25th Birthday
2009: Yaya Toure's 26th Birthday
2010: Yaya Toure's 27th Birthday
2011: Yaya Toure's 28th Birthday; FA Cup Winners under Roberto Mancini
2012: Yaya Toure's 29th Birthday; Premier League Champions under Roberto Mancini
2013: Yaya Toure's 30th Birthday
2014: Yaya Toure's 31st Birthday; Premier League Champions under Manuel Pellegrini

[Jimbuna]

QPR v Derby should be an interesting game.

The worst of luck Harry.

[BossMark]

QPR v Derby should be an interesting game.

The worst of luck Harry.
Yes I have a £10 double Derby and Athetico

[Jimbuna]

Yes I have a £10 double Derby and Athetico

The second part of that double may well be your downfall.

[Jimbuna]

Lucky lucky lucky Harry Redknapp and down goes another BossMark double :)

[BossMark]

Lucky lucky lucky Harry Redknapp and down goes another BossMark double :)
Yep couldnt really give a toss who wins tonight now :nope:

[Jimbuna]

Real :cool:

[Jimbuna]

Real :cool:

I did say :smug:

[BossMark]

So Malcolm Glazer has died having never set foot in Old Trafford, just like most United fans then.

[Jimbuna]

I'm simply surprided he actually apologised :)

Footballer Joey Barton has apologised after describing UKIP as the best of "four really ugly girls".

The QPR midfielder made the comment during a heated exchange with Louise Bours, one of UKIP's newly elected MEPs, on the BBC's Question Time.

Ms Bours said the comments showed the footballer had "brains in his feet".

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-27633347

[Jimbuna]

Liverpool are close to agreeing a deal for Southampton and England striker Rickie Lambert for a fee of around £4m plus add-ons.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/27629474

With the striking options Liverpool already have I'm surprised they are offering £4 million for a 32 year-old.

[BossMark]

Teddy Sheringham turns up on his first day as West Ham's attacking coach...

Teddy; Right Sam, where do you want me to start?

Allardyce; Firstly, I want you to give the bogs a good scrub.

Teddy; What!?

Allardyce; Haha. I'm only joking. Basically you're here to get our strikers scoring..

Teddy; Does the toilet cleaning come with a brush?

[Jimbuna]

@TarJak, dfurther to this afternoons discussion on Sky regarding Teddy.

Fat Sam is about to offer Jack Colback somewhere in the region of a £44K per week pay rise to secure his signature :o

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2643654/Jack-Colback-set-offered-10m-deal-West-Ham-midfielder-set-Sunderland-exit.html

[BossMark]

Manchester United have decided to use the team bus to get to their away European games this coming season.

A spokesman said, "Well Swansea's only a short ride to Bristol, and then a jog up the M4."

[TarJak]

@TarJak, dfurther to this afternoons discussion on Sky regarding Teddy.

Fat Sam is about to offer Jack Colback somewhere in the region of a £44K per week pay rise to secure his signature :o

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2643654/Jack-Colback-set-offered-10m-deal-West-Ham-midfielder-set-Sunderland-exit.html
More money than brains:/\\!!

[Jimbuna]

More money than brains:/\\!!

Latest rumour (from a friend who was at his wedding last week) is that he is seriously considering signing for the TOON :doh:

[Jimbuna]

Latest rumour (from a friend who was at his wedding last week) is that he is seriously considering signing for the TOON :doh:

He signed today :smug:

[BossMark]

Louis Van Gaal has stated that from August he will send every Manchester United player to Weight Watchers.

That way he can guarantee to accumulate points every week.

[Jimbuna]

Mackems have a good signing in getting former Manchester City goalkeeper Costel Pantilimon on a free transfer.

[BossMark]

Liverpool are looking good value for money for next season.

The link-up play between Suarez and Gerrard tonight was unreal!

[Jimbuna]

Club Owner Has Change Of Heart And Will Sell Newcastle Transfer Target

Maybe a positive on the transfer front today with the news that Leeds owner Massimo Cellino has said that he will sell striker Ross McCormack, but only to a Premier League club.

http://www.themag.co.uk/the-mag-articles/club-owner-change-heart-will-sell-newcastle-transfer-target-ross-mccormack/?

[BossMark]

BREAKING NEWS: Liverpool FC have today accepted a world record transfer fee from Transylvania FC for Luis Suarez.

[Jimbuna]

5 World Cup Stars That Pardew Should Sign

http://www.themag.co.uk/the-mag-articles/5-world-cup-stars-pardew-sign/?

[BossMark]

I am looking forward to Ander Herrera's official statement on joining Manchester United.

'I am looking forward to play regular Champi.... Europ.... our 2nd round Carling Cup game against Stoke'.

[Jimbuna]

Cheryl Cole has become Newcastle United's latest signing after the former Girls Aloud singer was given a personalised shirt at X-Factor auditions in the city.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2671383/Cheryl-Cole-Newcastles-newest-signing-former-Girls-Aloud-singer-shows-kit-X-Factor-auditions.html

[BossMark]

Adam Lallana on his move to Liverpool -

"It's a dream move for me. It just seemed the most logical way to avoid getting bitten next season".

[Jimbuna]

http://s2.postimg.org/snlfag22x/image.jpg (http://postimage.org/)

[Jimbuna]

The Latest on Suarez....Barcelona will meet the £75m release clause.

Barcelona have told Liverpool they will meet the release clause in striker Luis Suarez's contract.
The clause is understood to be about £75m, and Liverpool are not prepared to sell the 27-year-old for less.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/28112887

[BossMark]

News has come in that Tom Ince has rejected Monaco & Inter Milan to sign for Hull City.
He now faces a medical where they'll be checking his head.

[BossMark]

The Chairman of PSG is offering a substantial reward to anyone that can find the receipt for David Luiz.

[Jimbuna]

Will Krul stay at the TOON now?

[BossMark]

Today Luis Suarez, who is banned from football until November, signed for Barcelona who are banned from signing anyone until February

FIFA making up since 1904...

[BossMark]

Ecuador hero Enner Valencia has signed for West Ham United.

It was only a couple of years ago Valencia had to live inside his clubs stadium because of poverty.

Now he has to live in East London which is worse.

[Jimbuna]

Probably the only time I'll salute a Mackem

Sunderland fans have raised over £21,000 in memory of dedicated Newcastle United fans John Alder and Liam Sweeney who died when the Malaysian Airlines plane was shot down over Ukraine.

http://metro.co.uk/2014/07/20/north-east-unites-as-sunderland-fans-raise-whopping-21k-for-newcastle-supporters-killed-in-mh17-disaster-4804818/

~SALUTE~

[Jimbuna]

Remy may yet end up at the TOON:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/28529081

[BossMark]

BREAKING NEWS: Liverpool FC have announced they are going to rename their club to Scousehampton.

[Jimbuna]

Best of luck to Steven Gerrard, who's retired from not winning the World Cup to concentrate on not winning the Premier League.

[Jimbuna]

BREAKING NEWS:

Southampton announce they will face Blackpool in a 5 a side friendly this week.

[BossMark]

To be fair, Southampton aren't the first people to come back from a Summer break to find their valuables were taken by someone from Liverpool...

[Jimbuna]

I telephoned Southampton Football Club to ask them what time their game kicked off this evening.

The receptionist replied, "What time can you get here."

[BossMark]

Wonder what date the testimonial is for Howard Webb at Old Trafford?
Happy Retirement!

[BossMark]

Frank Lampard arrived at City today and says he's settled in well, adding: "I recognise many of the fans from when they supported Chelsea

[Jimbuna]

After signing a one year contract with Manchester City, Frank Lampard has said he is looking forward to working with the next 3 or 4 Manchester City managers.

[BossMark]

Celtic, sharing the same legal team as Bernie Eccleston.

[Jimbuna]

Happy scenes seeing Celtic celebrate winning their second SPL title in a row. Now I'm off to open a bottle of champagne after beating my two year old daughter in a fight.

[BossMark]

Surprised today to find out Aston villa striker Andreas Weimann is Austrian.

With a surname like that I always thought he was from Newcastle.

[Jimbuna]

Glenn Hoddle joins QPR coaching staff.

He obviously did something bad in a previous life to deserve that.

[BossMark]

Manchester United's planned up coming testimonial match in honour of Howard Webbs retirement and loyal service was to be played against Iceland and used as a scouting mission but they have now decided farm foods will be a safer option!

[Jimbuna]

Q. What's the similarity between Manchester United and a 3-pin plug?

A. They're both useless in Europe.

[BossMark]

Manchester United have banned fans from bringing tablets and computers to Old Trafford next season

This is not the first time United have stopped electronic items being used at their home ground, referees have been banned from using any kind of timing device since the mid 90s

[Jimbuna]

Looking forward to the new season but the TOON have a tough opening game at home to the current champions Man City.

[TarJak]

I see Rhianna is thinking of buying Liverpool FC. Perhaps she's found love in a hopeless place. I expect lots of 0-0 draws so they can beat them 'Pon De Replay!

[BossMark]

Bad News for Crystal Palace fans, Tony Pulis has left..

Worse news for Crystal Palace fans..

You're a Crystal Palace fan.

[Jimbuna]

My first prediction for the forthcoming Premier League season....TOON to finish in top 10 and Burnley to get relegated.

[BossMark]

Just put 50 quid E\W on Liverpool to win the premiership with odds of 11\1

[TarJak]

Just put 50 quid E\W on Liverpool to win the premiership with odds of 11\1

You think Rhianna will make that much difference?:O:

[Jimbuna]

A fool and his money....didn't somebody once say :)

Without the goals from the cannibal I reckon they'll be lucky to finish in the top four.

[Jimbuna]

I wouldn't 1-2 be a United fan right now!

(At time of posting)

[BossMark]

I wouldn't 1-2 be a United fan right now!

(At time of posting)
Great start for the new scum manager :har::har::har:

[BossMark]

It was the 8th of January when Utd panicked and called Paul Scholes out of retirement, so I think Howard Webb can enjoy his retirement for a few months yet......

[Jimbuna]

Mackems grab a lucky draw at WBA and the Hammers continue on from where they left off by losing to Spurs.

The Mighty Leeds start with a win against the smoggies which should revitalise their long held dream of returning to the top flight.

[Jimbuna]

TOON lose to City....looks like we have a good attacking midfield but nobody to finish off the move.

[TarJak]

Don;t see the Hammers doing any better than last year either. :roll::/\\!!

[Jimbuna]

True that, especially with Carroll once again long term injured but rumour has it he would be welcomed back to the TOON :doh:

[BossMark]

After having a bird poop in his mouth Manchester United player Ashley Young has signed on to star in the sequel to a famous porn film.

The United themed Scat fetish 'Two Birds, No Cup' will be online soon.

[BossMark]

I went to the bookmakers to have a bet on Celtic today.

They asked, would you like them to win within 90 minutes or two weeks.

[Jimbuna]

Lucky lucky lucky Celtic.

[Jimbuna]

Mario Balotelli - "Why always me?"

Scousers - "Why always us?"


Perfect match!

[TarJak]

Nice 3-1 win to the 'ammers. CP looked rudderless by all accounts. Not having a manager probably helped matters though.

[BossMark]

Louis Van Gaal has said he doesn't care where Danny Welbeck plays, as long as it's not for a top 6 side.

Looks like he's staying at Manchester United then.

[Jimbuna]

Nice 3-1 win to the 'ammers. CP looked rudderless by all accounts. Not having a manager probably helped matters though.

TOON manage a scoreless draw...looks like we'll be struggling to score goals again.

[Jimbuna]

Louis Van Gaal has said he doesn't care where Danny Welbeck plays, as long as it's not for a top 6 side.

Looks like he's staying at Manchester United then.

No mention of the Leeds result...hardly surprising :)

[TarJak]

Sad news today of the voice of football results on BBC radio died http://www.bbc.com/sport/0/football/28844131

I remember listening to the scores read by him every Sunday night.

Newcastle United nil - Aston Villa nil
West Ham United 3 - Crystal Palace 1

RIP sir:salute:

[Jimbuna]

Oh Crikey, I met him or was it his assistant once at a training session at St James Park many years ago.....most sad.

RIP James

[Eichhörnchen]

I found wifey making a footbally-type card for a friend's son this afternoon. Ever keen to seem interested, and it was a 3-D pop-up type card with goalposts and players and everything, I asked whether she was going to use a ping-pong ball or somesuch for the ball.

She gave me that look and said "It's got to go in an envelope"

[Jimbuna]

Not at work today so looking forward to the Man City v Liverpool match on tv tonight.

Don't want either team to win so hopefully it will end in a draw.

[mapuc]

Is this a big surprice or what

Man U defeated by a division three team 4-0

I love these surprices.

Markus

[BossMark]

MK Dons 4 man utd 0 :rotfl2::rotfl2::rotfl2::rotfl2::har::har::har::ha r::har::har::haha::haha::haha::haha::haha:

[Oberon]

With the money they've spent lately I wouldn't be at all surprised if Man U buy MK Dons later this week... :O:

[Jimbuna]

Is this a big surprice or what

Man U defeated by a division three team 4-0

I love these surprices.

Markus

So do a fair proportion of Brits :)

Newcastle progressed via a lucky own goal.

Sunderland and Leeds face potentially tricky away games tonight.