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Fubar2Niner
07-13-13, 04:12 AM
No but I've had a tongue lashing.
Why do I have almost as much hair round my bum as on my head, it doesn't get cold?
Jimbuna
07-13-13, 09:55 AM
I hope your not going blind as well :03:
Why do flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?
soopaman2
07-13-13, 11:20 AM
Because god hates us.
Why did SyFy make Sharknado?
Just.........why?
*cuts himself and sobs*
Jimbuna
07-13-13, 01:20 PM
Because Columbia Studios went bust.
Why do hot dogs come ten to a package and hot dog buns only eight?
u crank
07-13-13, 01:36 PM
Scientists are working on that but for now it remains a mystery.
Is there any 'ham' in a hamburger?
Jimbuna
07-13-13, 01:42 PM
Neigh.
Why do mattresses have springs, if they aren't made for jumping on?
soopaman2
07-13-13, 03:04 PM
Neigh.
Why do mattresses have springs, if they aren't made for jumping on?
They are made for jumping on, they do really well, it's the boxsprings that break.
Is farting a form of communication?
Jimbuna
07-13-13, 03:34 PM
Only in New Jersey.
Why do people always remember where they were when someone famous was killed? Do they feel perhaps they'll need an alibi?
WernherVonTrapp
07-13-13, 04:05 PM
Uh-oh, I can't remember where I was or what I was doing the day John Lennon was shot.:shifty:
How many aliases does alias have?
Jimbuna
07-13-13, 04:07 PM
Just enough to confuse everyone.
Why do people go to the unemployment office to find a job?
WernherVonTrapp
07-13-13, 04:39 PM
That's where they pick up their severance checks.
If 13 is an unlucky number, how much do you really get in a "Baker's Dozen"?
fireftr18
07-13-13, 10:31 PM
You tell us. You're the donut expert.
My favorite donut is chocolate iced. What is your favorite donut?
Jimbuna
07-14-13, 05:46 AM
Strawberry jam.
Why do people park in driveways and drive on parkways?
The Enigma
07-14-13, 11:28 AM
Because they follow a deeper inner drive that makes them do so.
Do you consider them irresponsible?
soopaman2
07-14-13, 12:43 PM
Because they follow a deeper inner drive that makes them do so.
Do you consider them irresponsible?
Nope, just following the status quo.
Why do wives hate Football?
Jimbuna
07-14-13, 12:45 PM
Probably because they don't understand it.
Why do people tell you when they are speechless?
soopaman2
07-14-13, 01:19 PM
Probably because they don't understand it.
Why do people tell you when they are speechless?
Because they are either overdramatic or outright too stupid to respond.
Why can't American football have as many hooligans as Euro Football?
(we will always be second rate until we riot like them, Old Veterans field in Philly came close)
The Enigma
07-14-13, 03:53 PM
Because they are in fact weenies.
Didn't you know that?
Jimbuna
07-14-13, 04:24 PM
No I definitely did not.
Why do pigs have curly tails?
WernherVonTrapp
07-14-13, 08:38 PM
It hides our crack.
What's your excuse?
http://images.paraorkut.com/img/funnypics/images/s/smiling_pig-12445.jpg
The Enigma
07-15-13, 01:01 AM
I don't need no excuse. Mine is way to beautiful to hide it.
Did I make you jealous?
Jimbuna
07-15-13, 08:36 AM
Afraid not.
Why do the signs that say "Slow Children" have a picture of a running child?
The Enigma
07-15-13, 08:53 AM
Perhaps the child is trying to outrun the car.
Are you left- or right handed?
Jimbuna
07-15-13, 09:09 AM
Right handed.
Why do they call it 'chilli' if it's hot?
Sailor Steve
07-15-13, 09:58 AM
Because "chili" and "chilly" are two different words. One relates to a "chill", which is cold, and the other is the name of a kind of pepper. Allow me to explain further. Blah blah blah blah blah...
Aren't you sorry you asked?
Jimbuna
07-15-13, 10:54 AM
Devasted...near suicidal in fact :)
Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?
BossMark
07-15-13, 01:41 PM
I would assume it refers to the collection of devices which compose the TV (cathode ray tube, magnets, antenna, etc.
Do you think those PPI adverts are really annoying?
Jimbuna
07-15-13, 01:59 PM
Not really seeing as I made a successful claim.
Why do they call it 'getting your dog fixed' if afterwards it doesn't work anymore?
Spiced_Rum
07-15-13, 02:11 PM
A. Well after Fido was 'fixed' he did not work properly. All the neighborhood cats keep yelling "Oi, no balls" at him whenever he walks past.
Q. What does the saying "seeing a man about a dog" mean?
Jimbuna
07-15-13, 02:15 PM
Obviously going to meet a dog breeder.
Who let the dogs out?
Feuer Frei!
07-16-13, 03:10 AM
Obviously going to meet a dog breeder.
Who let the dogs out?
The RSPCA.
What is one gift or talent in life that you wish you had?
The gift of the gab.
If a present is a gift what is the future?
The Enigma
07-16-13, 06:23 AM
A present for tomorrow.
What is your fav. way of paying, cash or credit card?
Spiced_Rum
07-16-13, 06:40 AM
A. Either payment method works, as long as the cash or card belongs to someone else.:yep:
Q. How much is a cash cow worth?
The Enigma
07-16-13, 07:15 AM
Not enough.
Are you at work or at home right now?
Spiced_Rum
07-16-13, 07:21 AM
A. I am all at sea. :arrgh!:
Q. If models are made of plastic, then are super models made from silicone?
The Enigma
07-16-13, 07:31 AM
That's a misunderstanding. Not all that appears big is made of silicone :D
Where can one best draw the line?
In front on ones toes.
Is line dancing truly the work of the devil?
Spiced_Rum
07-16-13, 08:06 AM
A. Standing just behind it.
Q. How far do you need to go to cross the line?
Edit: I was answering Enigma's question before TarJak, but the same answer will do as well.
Jimbuna
07-16-13, 08:12 AM
In front on ones toes.
Is line dancing truly the work of the devil?
I'll ask her when she gets in from work.
Why do they call it life insurance?
Spiced_Rum
07-16-13, 08:19 AM
A. To call it a death benefit would be to tempting to some couples.
Q. How much are you supposed to tip the Grim Reaper?
Herr-Berbunch
07-16-13, 08:23 AM
I find the Grim Reaper is best when tipped to an angle of 204°.
http://img829.imageshack.us/img829/332/3v7.gif
Or was it 214°?
Spiced_Rum
07-16-13, 08:26 AM
A. It could be easier to tip to 156 degrees the other way instead.
Q. If someone is horizontal, just how laid back are they?
Jimbuna
07-16-13, 08:57 AM
90 degrees.
Why do they call it quicksand when it sucks you down slowly?
The Enigma
07-16-13, 09:38 AM
Because you need to get out quikly.
What do they mean with "a slow train running"
Jimbuna
07-16-13, 10:50 AM
Well I've never seen one fly.
Why do they make scented toilet paper?
Spiced_Rum
07-16-13, 11:59 AM
A. So that ladies smell of roses wherever they go.
Q. How deep is downtown?
Fubar2Niner
07-16-13, 12:34 PM
Baritone
why is pot pourie such a bugger to dissolve in gravy?
Jimbuna
07-16-13, 01:19 PM
Try an acid bath for a quicker acting solution.
Why do they report power outages on TV?
Spiced_Rum
07-16-13, 01:57 PM
A. So that when the power is back on and you review your VCR recording of the news you will know why the TV went off. Of course this does mean having an UPS for the VCR.:)
Q. Is it still a power blackout if it happens in the daylight?
Jimbuna
07-16-13, 03:39 PM
Depends on whether your wearing your shades or not.
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
soopaman2
07-16-13, 04:09 PM
Lawsuits, the constitution, cruel and unusual punishment for using something rusty.
How many roads must a man walk down, before you call him a man?
Spiced_Rum
07-16-13, 04:15 PM
A. The answer my friend is blowing in the wind.
Q. Does the road to Hell have a speed limit?
Only for hand baskets.
What the hell is a hand basket?
frau kaleun
07-16-13, 07:29 PM
Not quite sure although I do appear to be sitting in one.
Any idea where I'm going in this thing?
u crank
07-16-13, 07:37 PM
Don't know but make sure AC is working. :O:
What's this road paved with anyway?
WernherVonTrapp
07-16-13, 08:08 PM
Yellow bricks.
Are we on our way to Oz?:D
Jimbuna
07-17-13, 05:03 AM
Hope not, the cricket is taking place in the UK this year.
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Too teach you a lesson.
What is that lesson?
BossMark
07-17-13, 06:43 AM
To drink more beer.
Why cant Toff boy answer a question at PMQ's
Fubar2Niner
07-17-13, 08:28 AM
Because he's still full of £50 burgers and champagne from the night before.
Why can't we bury toff boy at sea.................. Now!!!!
Jimbuna
07-17-13, 09:16 AM
The sea would rise up in mutiny and engulf all the land mass.
Why do tourists go to the top of tall buildings and then put money in telescopes so they can see things on the ground in close-up?
Fubar2Niner
07-17-13, 09:25 AM
Because they can't afford zoom lenses.
Why isn't the London eye an eye, and if it were why doesn't it have a monocle?
soopaman2
07-17-13, 10:05 AM
Because they can't afford zoom lenses.
Why isn't the London eye an eye, and if it were why doesn't it have a monocle?
Because eating glass is bad for you.
Why do women leave the room to fart, while men blow it out proudly and laugh about it, even discuss the smell?
Fubar2Niner
07-17-13, 01:12 PM
Because if women farted in the room everyone would leave.
What is so right about a Right Whale?
Jimbuna
07-17-13, 01:25 PM
Much better when your having a whale of a time.
Why do we call something sent by car a shipment and something sent by ship a cargo?
soopaman2
07-17-13, 02:29 PM
Easy Jim, same reason we (at least here) drive on a parkway, and park on a driveway. (we literally have a massive hiway called the garden state parkway, the state cops let you speed, no crap) My typical speed is 90, in a 65 mph, Cops go by faster, and wave at you.
Why do I not miss drinking myself into a coma?
Jimbuna
07-17-13, 02:32 PM
Probably because you can't remember the morning after.
Why do we call them restrooms when no one goes there to rest?
soopaman2
07-17-13, 02:39 PM
Probably because you can't remember the morning after.
Why do we call them restrooms when no one goes there to rest?
Speak for yourself, but sit in traffic having to crap like you took 100 laxatives, and see how rested you feel afterwards!:D
Ahhhhhhhhhh.
Alternate answer, go to penn station in NYC, and people sleep in the crapper stalls.
my question is: Why have we not invented the Mister Fusion Machine from Back To the Future 2?
Jimbuna
07-17-13, 02:54 PM
The US are still awaiting the cheaper Chinese version.
Why do we have hot water heaters when hot water doesn't need to be heated?
WernherVonTrapp
07-17-13, 08:07 PM
I've often wondered about that myself.:hmmm:
If two people type the same words at the same time, are they stereotyping?
The Enigma
07-18-13, 03:29 AM
More a waist of time I guess.
What do you prefer?
A good old book or an E-Reader?
Book
What do you prefer; good old bookie or online gambling?
BossMark
07-18-13, 06:21 AM
Bookies
Now why cant I think of a question?
Because you've been stunned by Australia's bowling this morning. :O:
How many poms were out in the first hour of play today?
The Enigma
07-18-13, 09:02 AM
I don't even know what a "pom" is :oops:
Can you tell me what a "pom" is?
It has several possible sourcesz but the most common is a shortening of POHM or Prisoner Of His Majesty. Its Australian for anyone from England or Britain.
Can we get anothe wicket soon?
BossMark
07-18-13, 09:38 AM
Hopefully not :smug:
Will Bell get another ashes 100?
Jimbuna
07-18-13, 02:09 PM
Most certainly :smug:
Will England win the series?
The Enigma
07-18-13, 02:24 PM
No :smug:
Surprised?
WernherVonTrapp
07-18-13, 08:40 PM
Not in a long, long, time.:yawn:
Can I get a "googly" giftwrapped?
Spiced_Rum
07-19-13, 02:37 AM
A. Probably not, but I would definately get a good box fitted when receiving one.
Q. Is it true that if are bowled out in cricket the bails fly and when you bail out an aircraft your bowels fly?
BossMark
07-19-13, 03:00 AM
Yes and more than likely :haha:
Do you wear eye glasses?
No
Do you know what comes next?
Jimbuna
07-19-13, 07:59 AM
Another wicket.
Why do we say "a pair of pants" when there is only one article of clothing involved?
The Enigma
07-19-13, 08:03 AM
But there are two legs involved.
Why didn't you think of that?
Spiced_Rum
07-19-13, 08:06 AM
Another wicket.
Why do we say "a pair of pants" when there is only one article of clothing involved?
A. If you saw my momma you would know there is two sets worth of material stitched together, her ass is so large that has its own zipcode:03:
Q. Why do unfit people wear so much lycra?
The Enigma
07-19-13, 08:08 AM
They gotta wear something, don't they?
Jimbuna
07-19-13, 08:13 AM
^ No question.
Why do people cool off in the sea that is full of fish, animal and human brown stuff?
No way I would. :har:
Fubar2Niner
07-19-13, 10:45 AM
Beggars can't be choosers.
Are Pike men fish with legs?
Jimbuna
07-19-13, 12:35 PM
Not sure but I'll just go and check the soles of their feet.
Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
The Enigma
07-19-13, 12:37 PM
^ No question.
If you look closely, you actually would see there is a question asked.
What is a whack?
I don't know.
Does an octopus have legs or arms?
Jimbuna
07-19-13, 12:45 PM
Tentacles.
Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
Tentacles.
Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
No. You're never fully clean unless your Zest-fully clean.
Why are TV commercials so lame?
LAME!...Man your so lucky. Our ones will have you throwing a brick at the TV just to get rid of them.
This is not the answer just a comment...Next poster feel free to answer the question.
soopaman2
07-19-13, 01:09 PM
What was the question?
JK Commercials are lame because corporate lawyers sanitize them, no edgy humor anymore, unless it is a once aired Super Bowl Commercial, designed to make controversy to promote the brand.
Why are most people such media tools?
The Enigma
07-19-13, 04:33 PM
They need to be something, so why not a media tool.
Why do they call things rocket science even when it hasn't to do anything with rockets?
Jimbuna
07-19-13, 04:40 PM
Lack of imagination.
Why do wise guy and wise man mean entirely different things?
Spiced_Rum
07-19-13, 05:47 PM
A. Camels. One rides them and the other smokes them.
Q. If a two hump camel mates with a one hump camel, how many humps do their calves have?
15 humps.
So were the camels Irish?
BossMark
07-20-13, 03:21 AM
Yes they are called Paddy and Mary
Are they from Dublin?
Fubar2Niner
07-20-13, 04:56 AM
They're not sure!
Why has a rubber band never been number 1 in the charts
The Enigma
07-20-13, 05:33 AM
Because it's content is nothing but air.
Why is Roger waters playing his rock opera "The Wall" in large venues
(We all know that the story behind that opera came from his disgust of playing in large venues)?
Fubar2Niner
07-20-13, 09:32 AM
Because he got fed up playing 'The Hedge' at open air gigs.
Why doesn't lemon sole taste of lemons ?
Jimbuna
07-20-13, 11:02 AM
Never had leather that tasted of lemon.
Why do your feet smell and your nose runs?
Spiced_Rum
07-20-13, 01:04 PM
A. Same reason that you normally see what your eating but cannot always eat what you see.
Q. Are your eyes bigger than your stomach?
soopaman2
07-20-13, 01:16 PM
Only when you are weeded up at a Golden Corral.
What was the point of Behind Blue eyes by the Who?
Only when you are weeded up at a Golden Corral.
What was the point of Behind Blue eyes by the Who?
"Behind Blue Eyes" is sung from the point of view of the main villain of Lifehouse, Jumbo who is always angry and full of angst because of all the pressure and temptation that surrounds him, and the song was intended to be his "theme song" had the project been successful" - wiki
What is the purpose of life?
soopaman2
07-20-13, 01:30 PM
1 have sex
2 eat spare ribs
3 more sex
4 ????
5 Profit?
Why do people think woodchucks chuck wood, they cannot throw logs, too small?
Jimbuna
07-20-13, 02:00 PM
I wish I knew.
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
soopaman2
07-20-13, 02:10 PM
(answering with a question)
You still get carded young man?
Who does Jimbunas youth treatments?
BossMark
07-20-13, 02:23 PM
STEED
How does he do it?
The Enigma
07-20-13, 02:26 PM
He uses a image of spiced_rum.
Will it be a satisfying result?
soopaman2
07-20-13, 02:31 PM
Doctor Frankenstein asked the same question.
Will Jimbuna kill the little girl, like in the movie?
Doctor Frankenstein asked the same question.
Will Jimbuna kill the little girl, like in the movie?
No. The little girl will kill him like in the movie Firestarter.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VsdeqOdkdTY
Why does JimBuna get picked on so much?
Spiced_Rum
07-20-13, 04:24 PM
A. He is a GT moderator, high scoring poster on the thread, and has a good sense of humor. :)
Q. If you wax your bikini line, can you swim faster?
WernherVonTrapp
07-20-13, 05:12 PM
Well, it does help with surfboards.:hmmm:
Can you really run faster and jump higher with "PF Flyers"?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0hkXdb81VU
That depends on whether you wear them or not.
What is the most uncomfortable question you've ever been asked?
That depends on whether you wear them or not.
What is the most uncomfortable question you've ever been asked?
I was asked by the mother of this girl I was dating if I would have sex with her while her daughter was out at the grocery store. And her mother was hot and undressing in front of me. Felt like that seen in the movie The Graduate.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-3lKbMBab18
What's the most embarrassing thing a woman has made you do?
I was asked by the mother of this girl I was dating if I would have sex with her while her daughter was out at the grocery store. And her mother was hot and undressing in front of me. Felt like that seen in the movie The Graduate.
That is in the top ten mens dreams I hear..:rotfl2:
What's the most embarrassing thing a woman has made you do?
Far too rude to post here. :har: :har: :har:
How old was you when you got hold of a copy of Penthouse or a simula mens magazine?
Spiced_Rum
07-21-13, 06:03 AM
A. Aged 11 through careful searching of my older brother's room:yeah:
Q. Did you ever, as a child, hunt for treasure?
:har::har::har::har::har:
BossMark
07-21-13, 06:42 AM
A. Aged 11 through careful searching of my older brother's room:yeah:
Q. Did you ever, as a child, hunt for treasure?
Yes her name was Sally-Anne and she stole my treasure :haha:
Did\do you like school?
Errrr...mixed.
Did you set the school fire alarm off?
Only during recess and lunch.
What was/is your favourite school subject?
u crank
07-21-13, 07:44 AM
History. Definitely history.
Ever been in detention?
Jimbuna
07-21-13, 08:13 AM
Detention/prison/solitary....the lot.
Why do you need an appointment to see a psychic?
Detention/prison/solitary....the lot.
Why do you need an appointment to see a psychic?
Because their powers only work once they get paid. Sort of like prostitutes.
Why do farts have to smell?
Fubar2Niner
07-21-13, 09:18 AM
For the benefit of the deaf
Do whistle blowers actually blow whistles?
Spiced_Rum
07-21-13, 09:19 AM
A. So that everyone can 'appreciate' the aroma.
Q. Do lifeboats also have lifeboats?
Only if there are well endowed women onboard.
What don't women lie about?
Jimbuna
07-21-13, 10:16 AM
Afraid not...just oars.
Why does a dishtowel get wet when it dries?
Spiced_Rum
07-21-13, 11:16 AM
A. Sweating with all the strain of working those dishes.
Q. If you wear a wet suits to the office, would you need to wear a tie?
Yes or you get fired.
So would you look silly wearing a tie with just your birthday suite on?
Spiced_Rum
07-21-13, 01:43 PM
A. Yes it would look odd, however, if you also wear socks and cuffs it would be acceptable.
Q. Do management at a naturist park have to wear a tie when at work?
Jimbuna
07-21-13, 01:48 PM
Yes but it must be a dicky bow tie.
Why does a grapefruit look nothing like a grape?
Spiced_Rum
07-21-13, 03:46 PM
A. The current name grapefruit alludes to clusters of the fruit on the tree, which often appear similar to grapes.
Q. Why is it called a pear when their is only one fruit and not a pair?
So you can tell the difference's from a fruit and a pair of womens boobs.
Why do womens boobs make men crash their cars in summer?
Jimbuna
07-21-13, 03:56 PM
Something to do with testosterone I believe.
Why does it take 15 minutes to cook minute rice?
soopaman2
07-21-13, 04:42 PM
Water does not boil instantly.
Why can I be a genius one day, and a retard the next?
Spiced_Rum
07-22-13, 03:36 AM
A. Balance. They are inversely proportional to each other.
Q. How much money do you need to be described as eccentric, and not wierd?
Jimbuna
07-22-13, 05:38 AM
A few coins more than a weirdo has.
Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?
The Enigma
07-22-13, 07:40 AM
Both arecaused by radiation.
What is the secret behind dice?
If I tell you, you'd know.
Can you keep a secret?
The Enigma
07-22-13, 07:43 AM
Yes I can.
How about you?
Of course. That's why you don't know about the dice.
What's your secret?
The Enigma
07-22-13, 07:50 AM
My secret is <wispers in Tarjak's ear> ....bbwzfswahhsssszzvzzsssssttt..... :|\\
Amazing isn't it?
Stunning.
Where can I get one?
Stunning.
Where can I get one?
Any adult video store.
Wouldn't it be cool if boobs grew when women got excited?
The Enigma
07-22-13, 02:04 PM
Stunning.
Where can I get one?
I just told you, that is my secret. :haha:
Have you ever been to an opera?
Jimbuna
07-22-13, 02:11 PM
Not one I haven't slept through.
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
soopaman2
07-22-13, 02:37 PM
Not one I haven't slept through.
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Because Lloyd Bridges got to it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WAwuSK36Gw
Why do I still find that movie hilarious?
fireftr18
07-22-13, 09:45 PM
Because it is.
Is it time to stop drinking?
Because it is.
Is it time to stop drinking?
No. It's always happy hour somewhere.
What's the best beer?
The one you are drinking now.
How do they get the bubbles into beer?
The one you are drinking now.
How do they get the bubbles into beer?
Gas.
Hmmm, what ever happened to the Taco Bell chihuahua?
Spiced_Rum
07-23-13, 02:42 AM
A. Got fattened up, deep fried, and then served as a chimichihuahua down in Houston, Tx.
Q. Do the Mexicans have Mex-Tex restaurants serving traditional Texicana food?
Of course not. They would consider that racist.
Why do Texans bastardise Mexican food?
Jimbuna
07-23-13, 09:00 AM
Because they don't know how to cook it properly yet.
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Hes a door to door salesman selling electric shavers.
"Me Tarzan you Jane".
How dose he know her name is Jane?
Hes a door to door salesman selling electric shavers.
"Me Tarzan you Jane".
How dose he know her name is Jane?
Because the movie script told him it was.
Why doesn't the sun, reflected through a pair of glasses, melt people's eyeballs?
The Enigma
07-23-13, 11:43 PM
It does, you only need to be patient.
What weighs more: On kilo of <del>led</del> lead or one kilo of feathers?
Red October1984
07-23-13, 11:46 PM
Not sure. What is led?
What is your favorite non-naval Classic War Movie?
Not sure. What is led?
What is your favorite non-naval Classic War Movie?
Platoon.
What is your favorite movie of all time?
The Enigma
07-24-13, 12:15 AM
Not sure. What is led?
What is your favorite non-naval Classic War Movie?
Sorry, I misspelled "lead" :oops:
@garren
Once upon a time in the west.
How often do you wash your car?
Sorry, I misspelled "lead" :oops:
@garren
Once upon a time in the west.
How often do you wash your car?
A: Every time it rains :haha:
Q: What's the most economical car?
Red October1984
07-24-13, 12:29 AM
Probably Fred Flintstone's car.
Have you ever driven a Prius?
Probably Fred Flintstone's car.
Have you ever driven a Prius?
No. I'm a straight guy.
Most the most violent film you've seen?
Red October1984
07-24-13, 12:47 AM
The Missouri State Highway Patrol Presentations with real pictures and video of real dead bodies.
(You don't believe me? Ever looked into somebody's head and saw the top of their eyeballs on the inside of the skull? I did today.)
Who is your favorite comedian?
The Missouri State Highway Patrol Presentations with real pictures and video of real dead bodies.
(You don't believe me? Ever looked into somebody's head and saw the top of their eyeballs on the inside of the skull? I did today.)
Who is your favorite comedian?
Stephen Lynch
http://www.trilulilu.ro/video-divertisment/comedy-central-presents-stephen-lynch
What's your favorite beach?
Red October1984
07-24-13, 01:14 AM
I like Kure Beach in North Carolina... :hmmm:
Favorite band?
I like Kure Beach in North Carolina... :hmmm:
Favorite band?
The Drifters.
If you could choose any era of history to live in which one would it be?
Red October1984
07-24-13, 02:00 AM
1940's and 50's.
If you were famous, what would you be famous for?
BossMark
07-24-13, 03:41 AM
Being a Labour Prime Minister.
How about you?
Jimbuna
07-24-13, 05:34 AM
King of England.
Looks like someone was busy last night, was it you?
I was. But I can't tell you what I was busy doing.
What were you doing last night that you can tell us?
Spiced_Rum
07-24-13, 05:39 AM
A. Reading the Subsim threads and trying to think of questions to ask.
Q. Why do women have nicer handwriting than men?
The Enigma
07-24-13, 06:29 AM
I didn't knew they had.
I've seen very nice handwriting of men as well (not mine though).
When was the last time that you have written a letter by hand?
Jimbuna
07-24-13, 08:55 AM
A couple of years ago at least but I regularly write reports.
Why don't they just make food stamps edible?
A couple of years ago at least but I regularly write reports.
Why don't they just make food stamps edible?
Because then the poor would have to go to the hospital which would drive society further into debt.
Why do people always elect rich people into power that have no clue what life is like for the middle class and poor class?
The Enigma
07-24-13, 12:14 PM
Poor people have no money for an election campaign.
What is the relation between a mushroom and a room?
Jimbuna
07-24-13, 12:19 PM
Not all that mush really.
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Psychic's don't need too as they make a shed load of ££££££££££.
Would you rob a bank if the bank asked you too?
No, because they'd be making it too easy for me.
If all but one person suddenly died in this world, would he/she bury all the bodies?
Red October1984
07-24-13, 12:40 PM
No. There'd be too many. Better fry them with the unattended Nuclear Weapons.
Is that a bad idea if there's nobody left alive?
No. There'd be too many. Better fry them with the unattended Nuclear Weapons.
Is that a bad idea if there's nobody left alive?
I think so.
Where's the first place you'd go if you were the last person alive?
Red October1984
07-24-13, 01:50 PM
Probably The White House or the Pentagon.
What are your top 3 superpower picks?
The Enigma
07-24-13, 02:36 PM
1) My wife
2) My wife
3) Me
She is in complete control (sometimes) :haha::haha::haha:
Would you dare to fly to Mars if you were asked?
1) My wife
2) My wife
3) Me
She is in complete control (sometimes) :haha::haha::haha:
Would you dare to fly to Mars if you were asked?
Nope.
If you could be stranded on a deserted island with anyone, who would it be?
Red October1984
07-24-13, 03:15 PM
:hmmm: That's easy. Probably:
http://www.usmagazine.com/uploads/assets/articles/57887-jennifer-lawrence-reveals-toned-bikini-body-in-hawaii/1353601492_jennifer-lawrence-1500.jpg
Which desert island would you pick?
Which desert island would you pick?
The one in the movie "The Blue Lagoon" with Brooke Shields
If you were going to end up stranded on a deserted island with a hot chick, what THREE items would you want to have with you the most?
Jimbuna
07-24-13, 03:25 PM
The one in my back garden.
Looks like this could be an interesting night, what do you reckon?
Red October1984
07-24-13, 03:30 PM
I reckon two questions have been asked...
@garren My gun, ammo, and a magic mini .223 round factory...that way I could kill us dinner
@Jimbuna...tonight's looking pretty good I think.
What if it's a jungle island?
Jimbuna
07-24-13, 03:46 PM
God help the animals.
Will it ever end?
Red October1984
07-24-13, 04:01 PM
If you're referring to "Last one to post...." then you know the answer to that.
The question is....
Will you answer it?
Jimbuna
07-24-13, 04:59 PM
Let's see what develops on the US shift.
Are we there yet?
Red October1984
07-24-13, 05:17 PM
I'm there...but I'm not quite sure about the rest of the US.
Why is the European shift slow and boring? :hmmm:
Jimbuna
07-24-13, 05:21 PM
I believe some would say "Look at the opposition...would hate to be thought of as emulating them".
So the next question is?
Do you think you can pull a women with your very own nice pair of boobs?
Red October1984
07-24-13, 05:27 PM
Well...If I had a pair of boobs I would be on ugly woman...I can say that much.
Why would you even ask that question? :hmmm:
Jimbuna
07-24-13, 05:28 PM
Got a nice pair of blue ones nesting in a box on the back of my garage wall.
Should I stay or should I go now?
If I go there will be trouble
An if I stay it will be double
So come on and let me know
Well...If I had a pair of boobs I would be on ugly woman...I can say that much.
Why would you even ask that question? :hmmm:
Jim told me for a dare...cough up jim I want that pint of cider now. :har:
Jimbuna
07-24-13, 05:33 PM
Keep me well out of that one :o
Typical...:rotfl2:
I pass on your question or is that a song? :hmmm:
No answer yet jim, that is a tough one to answer it seems. :hmmm:
I still pass btw.
Just for the lazy sods who don't want to scrow up here it is again..
Got a nice pair of blue ones nesting in a box on the back of my garage wall.
Should I stay or should I go now?
If I go there will be trouble
An if I stay it will be double
So come on and let me know
Red October1984
07-24-13, 06:13 PM
That's a song. :arrgh!:
I think you should stay Jim...You're alright.
What about STEED though?
WernherVonTrapp
07-24-13, 08:18 PM
Should I stay or should I go now?
If I go there will be trouble
An if I stay it will be double
So come on and let me know
Should ask The Clash about that one.:yep:
Never mind the bollocks?
Should ask The Clash about that one.:yep:
Never mind the bollocks?
Yeah, Sandra is overrated. :88)
What's the sexiest clothing item a woman can wear?
Red October1984
07-24-13, 10:12 PM
A US Military Uniform or a Flight Suit.
Have you ever broken the same bone twice?
The Enigma
07-25-13, 12:24 AM
Yep.
I felt from a height of 4 meters and I broke one bone at 2 places.
Have you ever been hurt in an accident?
Yep.
I felt from a height of 4 meters and I broke one bone at 2 places.
Have you ever been hurt in an accident?
Yep. Several time.
What's the best type of steak?
Red October1984
07-25-13, 12:49 AM
Rib Eye cooked on a home grill Medium Rare
Why is the price of Steak too damn high?
http://assets.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.1326450.1366834887!/img/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/landscape_635/ny-governors-race.jpg
Rib Eye cooked on a home grill Medium Rare
Why is the price of Steak too damn high?
A: Cows don't grow on trees.
Q: Why don't cows grow on trees?
Red October1984
07-25-13, 12:56 AM
Because you don't live in Small Town, USA where cows do grow on trees.
Hot chocolate or coffee?
Because you don't live in Small Town, USA where cows do grow on trees.
Hot chocolate or coffee?
Coffee. I can't eat or drink chocolate. And coffee is better anyways. Especially for staying up late and kicking your butt at the "Last person to post wins thread" :smug:
Stars wars or Lord of the Rings?
The Enigma
07-25-13, 01:03 AM
Star Wars (episodes IV-V-VI)
Do you go often to the cinema?
Star Wars (episodes IV-V-VI)
Do you go often to the cinema?
No. I hate crowds of people and it costs too much.
Can you touch your chin with your elbow?
Red October1984
07-25-13, 01:12 AM
Yes. I can.
Can you touch your ear with your elbow?
The Enigma
07-25-13, 01:38 AM
I can do that.
Can an elephant do that?
Red October1984
07-25-13, 02:02 AM
No. And neither can a T-Rex.
How late do you usually stay up?
Spiced_Rum
07-25-13, 02:17 AM
A. Until I am tired.
Q. Do you prefer morning or evening?
The Enigma
07-25-13, 03:24 AM
It used to be evening, but now a days I prefer the morning.
Do you skip breakfast or are you a "must have breakfast" kind of guy?
Spiced_Rum
07-25-13, 04:46 AM
A. Depends on the time of day that I am up, how long I have, and when I last ate a meal and need to break my fast. Some days I do and some I do not have breakfast, but I like to do brunch.
Q. If you are a shift worker and get up at 6pm, is it still breakfast?
Jimbuna
07-25-13, 05:30 AM
If it's steak and eggs...yes.
Why get even, when you can get odd?
Spiced_Rum
07-25-13, 05:36 AM
A. Do not want to be the odd one out. Even keel suits me.
Q. Are you dexterous or sinister?
Spiced_Rum
07-25-13, 05:52 AM
A. I arrgh prefer the term privateer, the others are too pejorative (and I consider brigands to be landlubbers). :arrgh!:
Q. Smuggler or swagman?
Spiced_Rum
07-25-13, 07:58 AM
A. Well back at school a 'sissy' was classed as a homosexual (twink) whereas a 'pansy' was not keen on taking part in team sports. I am more a 'bookworm'.
Q. Optimist or pessimist?
Pessimist...I live in the real world. :03:
Are you about to shout out the window at the plants?
Spiced_Rum
07-25-13, 08:19 AM
A. No, but if I see that cat again he is going to get an earful of my opinion.
Q. Do you talk to your plants?
Wot plants?
No really, what plants?
Jimbuna
07-25-13, 08:34 AM
Only whilst planting.
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
The Enigma
07-25-13, 12:31 PM
To keep you focused, I guess.
Is it allowed for a fly to go into a no fly zone?
soopaman2
07-25-13, 12:34 PM
To keep you focused, I guess.
Is it allowed for a fly to go into a no fly zone?
I suppose it depends on what arnaments it is carrying.
Why do I save my number 2s for on the plane, just to stink people out?
Am I a sicko, or a great real life troll?
The Enigma
07-25-13, 01:05 PM
That question you can only answer your self.
Why is the lawn from a neighbor always greener?
Jimbuna
07-25-13, 03:02 PM
Because I tend it for him.
Why is a boxing ring square?
WernherVonTrapp
07-25-13, 09:18 PM
Not for me. I don't follow any sports.
If you're an apprentice, does that mean you have a preoccupation?
Red October1984
07-25-13, 10:08 PM
Yes.
What about post-occupations? :hmmm:
The Enigma
07-26-13, 01:59 AM
Then your old :haha:
Do you fear getting old?
Red October1984
07-26-13, 02:14 AM
No...that's a question I should be asking you guys.
Have you ever been so mad at the dumbest little thing? :hmmm:
The Enigma
07-26-13, 04:44 AM
Sure, I'm like anyone else.
Do you feel ashamed when this has happened to you?
Jimbuna
07-26-13, 05:23 AM
That depends.
Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
Spiced_Rum
07-26-13, 05:23 AM
A. No, it is biological and some things are annoying regardless how trivial to others.
Q. When you shake a man's hand in greeting, how many times should your arm go up and down?
Jimbuna
07-26-13, 08:07 AM
Not so many times that he starts to get excited or aroused.
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
Don't ask me, I just got in from my voluntary work and need my mug of coffee first.
Quick question...Should jim become are next King of England?
The Enigma
07-26-13, 09:06 AM
You better ask the queen of England.
I think it's time for a beer.
Care to join me?
Jimbuna
07-26-13, 10:17 AM
My pleasure.
Got a bottle opener?
BossMark
07-26-13, 10:55 AM
Got one on me key ring
What will you have?
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