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Feuer Frei!
09-23-13, 01:18 AM
Me.
When was the last time you shopped on ebay and what did you buy?
Tango589
09-23-13, 07:24 AM
2 weeks ago, a bowler hat with sleeves.
Do I look fetching in my new hat or what?
Well if you look like Armistead you can certainly go fetching.
Will Armistead develop a complex based on his canine comparisons?
Herr-Berbunch
09-23-13, 08:57 AM
If he does he's only himself to blame.
What is your favourite breed of dog?
Jimbuna
09-23-13, 09:45 AM
Lhasa Apso
If Wile E coyote has enough money to by all that Acme crap why doesn't he buy his dinner?
Tango589
09-23-13, 11:07 AM
He likes a challenge, as well as being a glutton for punishment.
How's the weather where you are?
Fubar2Niner
09-23-13, 12:27 PM
Almost like a summers evening, warm and clear.
Why do only the nice girls love a sailor?
Jimbuna
09-23-13, 01:55 PM
Because the ugly ones love any serviceman.
Can it be true if a truth is lied about?
Tango589
09-23-13, 03:01 PM
Only if you are telling the truth about lying.
Why when I try and change my sig do i get an error message that 'BB code size value is too big.' ?
Fubar2Niner
09-24-13, 03:48 AM
Because the BB code size value is too big !
Why are Mondays blue?
Because you put your sunglasses on.
What song am I thinking about?
Jimbuna
09-24-13, 06:21 AM
Tie me kangaroo down sport.
You ever been waltzing with Matilda?
No but I have done the horizontal tango.
nudge nudge wink wink say no more! So what's it like then?
Jimbuna
09-24-13, 07:44 AM
If only I could remember.
How come wrong numbers are never busy?
Tango589
09-24-13, 10:03 AM
Because they know you're going to call...
What's it all about then?
This is a great question so let me start with another question..
Cup of tea?
Jimbuna
09-24-13, 11:31 AM
No thanks but I wouldn't mind a pint of beer.
One lump or two?
Two, I'm feeling sexy.
One or two pints of beer?
Jimbuna
09-24-13, 11:37 AM
Oh the more the merrier.
Join me?
Why not. :DL
Bossmark to pay?
Jimbuna
09-24-13, 12:13 PM
More chance of winning the lottery in consecutive weeks.
Why is it Yorkshire folk are so mean with their money?
Tango589
09-24-13, 01:27 PM
They spend it all on flat caps, pints of old and nasty, whippets and going t'foot of our stairs.
Where does your lap go when you stand up?
Fubar2Niner
09-24-13, 01:48 PM
Under my beer belly.
Why can't I win the lottery?
Jimbuna
09-24-13, 01:48 PM
Nowhere, it stays with me.
Does killing time damage eternity?
Tango589
09-24-13, 01:52 PM
Blimey, 2 questions to answer!
Fubar: Because you don't enter it.
Jim: No, but it plays merry hell with your watch.
Is 2 questions at once a freak occurence in this thread?
Jimbuna
09-24-13, 01:54 PM
More a humorous one I suspect.
Is it about to happen again?
Fubar2Niner
09-24-13, 02:12 PM
Possibly
Will the next question correspond with mine?
Jimbuna
09-24-13, 02:18 PM
Highly doubtful.
Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?
Fubar2Niner
09-24-13, 02:21 PM
Because if it were the first hand it would not be sure if it should be right or left.
Would my boxer dog look good in gloves?
Only in a formal setting...
If time is relative, to whom is it related?...
<O>
Fubar2Niner
09-24-13, 02:35 PM
The Old Father :yep:
If an 'hors devours' is a starter what is an ending?
Jimbuna
09-25-13, 05:19 AM
'Hors Tail'.
Why is it that when you are driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
Tango589
09-25-13, 07:24 AM
So you can hear the wife nagging you clearer.
Do you wish people had a volume control?
I'm sorry I didn't get the question; I had you turned down...
Why do they call it a stage "whisper" when you can actually hear it?...
<O>
Jimbuna
09-25-13, 04:22 PM
You might but I can't.
Is it true we are all cleverer than one another?
Tango589
09-26-13, 06:56 AM
If it is, then I'm still at the bottom of the pile...
What's the strangest thing you've ever eaten?
Durian.
Where is the strangest place you've eaten?
Tango589
09-26-13, 07:15 AM
Venezuelan rainforest.
If the moon is made of cheese, why isn't it gradually being eaten away by space-mice?
Jimbuna
09-26-13, 07:45 AM
It tastes like Uranus.
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Tango589
09-27-13, 10:53 AM
It tastes like Uranus.
:rotfl2:
Because if they were made with apples it would just be plain silly.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Too buy chicken nuggets in mustard dipping sauce.
French or English mustard?
Tango589
09-27-13, 04:07 PM
English every time.
Where on a chicken are the nuggets?
The dangle beneath the giblets.
Where do you stow your stash?
u crank
09-27-13, 06:43 PM
I stow it where know one can find it.
Did you say cash or stash?:03:
Take yer pick.
Where's mine?
what??????????
Dose anyone know?
BossMark
09-28-13, 07:27 AM
No one knows that
Is wrong to date someone 20 years younger than yourself?
Not if you are Hugh Hefner.
Would you like to be Hugh Hefner for a night?
u crank
09-28-13, 07:33 AM
That might be fun.
Who's Hugh Hefner? :O:
That might be fun.
Who's Hugh Hefner? :O:
If you don't know I ain't telling.
How would you describe him?
u crank
09-28-13, 07:48 AM
He appears to be a 87 year old guy who gets around in a bath robe.
How do you get a job like that?
Tango589
09-28-13, 08:33 AM
Have lots of money and a lecherous personality.
My life has no meaning, purpose or direction, yet I'm happy. I don't get it, what am I doing right?
u crank
09-28-13, 09:15 AM
Don't ask questions. Go with it.:yep:
Are there any unanswerable questions?
Jimbuna
09-28-13, 11:30 AM
Only those coming from you.
Are part-time bandleaders semiconductors?
BURP....Pardom me.
No Idea.
Do you like Mellon's?
No not the slang word for womens breasts. :rolleyes:
Tango589
09-28-13, 07:41 PM
I like them big, firm and green.
What is the sound of one hand clapping?
....
When did STEED's melons get so big?
Tango589
09-28-13, 08:00 PM
From eating pies and drinking Strongbow.
Does Strongbow cider actually contain apples?
Jimbuna
09-29-13, 07:34 AM
Apple extracts.
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
Not really.
How about a world with no TV adverts that send you mad?
Jimbuna
09-29-13, 07:43 AM
I'm already certified insane so I doubt it would effect me.
How can there be self-help "groups"?
Jobs worth busy boddy's are here to help you and without them we're all doomed.
What is the perfect moment?
BossMark
09-29-13, 08:19 AM
When I meet my 30 year old stunning Ukraine bird :yeah:
Should I do it?
What...bonking her or taking her out to London Zoo, I don't know.
Do women fart after eating a After eight mint?
Tango589
09-29-13, 10:05 AM
Yes, and it smells minty-fresh.
If you try to overdose on antidepressants, will you feel better after taking 2?
Feuer Frei!
10-01-13, 04:15 AM
Ask your Doctor!
While you are seeing your Quack, will you ask him about that funny-looking rash on your arm?
Tango589
10-01-13, 05:53 AM
It's not my arm I'm worried about...:o
what's the medical name for the back-of-your-knee?
Jimbuna
10-01-13, 06:20 AM
For some it's called a backside.
How do you get off a non-stop flight?
Wait until it lands.
What do you think about scheming women?
Tango589
10-01-13, 09:42 AM
I think it's good to scheme as many women as you can, before they do it to you.
Did Bossmark have a lucky escape?
Jimbuna
10-01-13, 10:12 AM
Most definitely.
Being a Yorkshireman though, do you see him falling for the same scam again?
Tango589
10-01-13, 12:47 PM
I would put money on it. Even more if it was with the same woman!
Is it really fair to keep ripping into Bossmark like this?
Jimbuna
10-01-13, 01:16 PM
Let me think about that for a moment.....yes.
Could he be one of the next contestants on the Cilla Black show Blind Date?
Tango589
10-01-13, 02:19 PM
Yes, and knowing his luck he would end up with that Ukranian bird as his date!:rotfl2:
Are there any plans for another Subsim meet?
Yes BossMark is hosting one in Ukraine before Xmas.
Will you be there?
Jimbuna
10-02-13, 10:26 AM
I'll stop at home thanks....the already has all my money and a UK passport.
If swimming is good for your shape then why do whales look like they do?
u crank
10-02-13, 05:30 PM
High cholesterol diet and much beer drinking.
Are there any whales in Wales?
Stealhead
10-02-13, 06:36 PM
Sure beached whales.
You just soiled your underwear away from home at a pub how do you resolve this issue?
Tango589
10-03-13, 07:04 AM
Flush your soiled skivvies down the khazi and walk out the pub commando like you own the place.
Does anyone know how to fix a toilet blocked by Stealheads' cacky undies?
Stick your head down there to take a look at the blockage then use your teeth.
Anyone for breakfast?
Jimbuna
10-03-13, 08:27 AM
Not anymore thanks.
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called "rush hour"?
Tango589
10-03-13, 09:51 AM
Please refer to posts #2465 and #4266 regarding oxymorons.
Have you ever seen an elephant fly?
Herr-Berbunch
10-03-13, 09:52 AM
Because they want to be in a rush, even if they aren't.
Whose idea was it to add the word Disorder on the end of Obsessive Compulsive? :doh:
Edit - damn you Tango589, now I look stoopider than ever.
nikimcbee
10-03-13, 09:55 AM
Probably Steeds:hmmm:.
So where's the next subsim meet gunna be?
Tango589
10-03-13, 10:26 AM
At an as-yet undisclosed location.
It is even possible for Herr-Berbunch to look even stoopider?
Herr-Berbunch
10-03-13, 10:43 AM
Oh yes, of course there is.
Now does anyone know where I've put my elbow?
Jimbuna
10-03-13, 11:50 AM
Probably on top of the table...you bad mannered person.
Can both sides ever meet.
Fubar2Niner
10-03-13, 12:57 PM
Only if both agree, possibly :hmmm:
Which side is right?
Tango589
10-03-13, 01:02 PM
The one that I'm on.
Can you have a 4x4 three-wheeled car?
Fubar2Niner
10-03-13, 01:08 PM
Impossible.... Unless of course you have a side-car.
Do beans really make you fart and does it necessarily follow the more you eat the more likely you are to?
Tango589
10-03-13, 01:16 PM
From my experience yes, yes indeedy-do. Much to my wifes' disgust.
Should HAL open the pod bay door?
Fubar2Niner
10-03-13, 01:25 PM
Noooooooooooooooooooooooo !!!!!!!!!!!!
Is it too late?
Jimbuna
10-03-13, 02:51 PM
Afraid so.
Have you got time to hide?
Spiced_Rum
10-03-13, 03:57 PM
A. Only if you have time to spare.
Q. Can you buy the milk of human kindness in the grocery store?
Fubar2Niner
10-04-13, 08:14 AM
Of course, you can find it next to the elixir of life.
Who puts the holes in holy water?
Jimbuna
10-04-13, 09:37 AM
The same person that puts the acid in acid rain.
How do you write zero in roman numerals?
Fubar2Niner
10-04-13, 01:00 PM
Good question!
Why does a vegetarian budgerigar eat cuttlefish?
Jimbuna
10-04-13, 01:58 PM
Because sharks are to bothersome.
Can you guess my weight?
Spiced_Rum
10-04-13, 05:20 PM
A. From the pain in my foot, I would guess that you need to lose a few pounds!
Q. Where do night owls roost?
Tango589
10-05-13, 08:56 PM
Owls sleep in tree holes or hollows, caves, rocks, old buildings, barns anywhere the sunlight cant reach. Bats sleep in caves, tree hollows, abandon buildings, bat boxes, and one species sleeps underground. The Indian bat sleeps in the underside of the bark of shagbark hickory trees.
What's the point of a unicycle?
Jimbuna
10-06-13, 07:54 AM
Half as many punctures.
Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety-one?
Tango589
10-06-13, 07:31 PM
Also, why isn't it pronounced 'eleventy'?
Why does the Welsh language involve so much phlegm?
If you work in a coal mine phlegm is a natural consequence.
Can you cook? And if so what is your favourite dish.?
Tango589
10-06-13, 08:54 PM
Can't cook, can eat. Favourite food is Thai.
Whats the worst meal you've had?
Jimbuna
10-07-13, 06:59 AM
Anything laced with garlic.
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Spiced_Rum
10-07-13, 02:15 PM
A. Possibly a crawly, as in creepy.
Q. Why do vampires not like garlic?
Jimbuna
10-07-13, 02:59 PM
You should try smelling the stuff...absolutely revolting.
Is atheism is a non-prophet organization?
Fubar2Niner
10-08-13, 11:36 AM
God only knows.
Will my chewing lose it's flavour on the bedpost overnight?
Tango589
10-08-13, 01:44 PM
Yes, but when you chew the bedpost it will be pleasingly minty.
Would a sheep with no legs be a cloud?
Jimbuna
10-08-13, 02:00 PM
Only in your imagination.
Why is it called a building when it is built ?
Spiced_Rum
10-08-13, 02:37 PM
A. Have you seen those Roman and Greek buildings, thousands of years old and still not finished.
Q. Why are they called 'light-house' instead of a more accurate description of 'light-tower'?
Jimbuna
10-08-13, 04:02 PM
Because the lighthouse keeper lives there.
Have you got a light boy?
Tango589
10-09-13, 04:12 PM
In my other trousers.
Are zebras black with white stripes or white with black stripes?
Jimbuna
10-10-13, 06:12 AM
That depends on whether their travelling left to right or right to left.
Precisely who or what was the definitive sinker of the Bismarck?
An explosion.
How many explosions caused the sinking of the Bismarck?
Jimbuna
10-10-13, 06:38 AM
The last one.
Can you name the highest ranking survivor?
Jimbuna
10-10-13, 06:59 AM
Of course...Burkard von Müllenheim-Rechberg
Now can you name the next highest in rank?
Not without looking it up. And he wasn't the same rank as Admiral Tovey who also survived the engagement.:O:
Can you be more specific about which side's survivor's you mean next time.
Tango589
10-11-13, 05:48 PM
Only if you ask nicely.:O:
Can you unscrew the inscrutable or eff at the ineffable?
Jimbuna
10-12-13, 08:00 AM
Of course, everyone can.
Why do the signs that say "slow children" have a picture of a running child?
Fubar2Niner
10-12-13, 09:32 AM
Because they know you're coming!
Why is it such a pain to get a printer networked between a 32 and 64 bit OS on a home LAN?
Tango589
10-12-13, 12:18 PM
Because the printer's jammed full of paperclips.
If 2's a company and 3's a crowd why do threesomes work?
Jimbuna
10-12-13, 03:06 PM
Because variety is the spice of life.
Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one?
Tango589
10-12-13, 03:28 PM
Because John Logie Baird originally envisioned people having three televisions side-by-side, making a 'set', each with a very slightly different image. When viewed through specially designed glasses, they would have given what he termed 'tri-scopic' vision, which was due to be the biggest breakthrough in TV since the TV was invented (by him). Unfortunately the whole idea was dropped when JLB realised people would need three eyes for it to work.
Can anyone lend me a fiver?
Yes ask you next door neighbour.
Who loves ya baby?
Tango589
10-12-13, 06:37 PM
A bald man with a lollipop fetish.
Have you seen my neighbour? :eek:
Spiced_Rum
10-13-13, 04:33 AM
A. Have you tried your bedroom closet?
Q. Which end of the rainbow has the crock of gold?
Jimbuna
10-13-13, 05:16 AM
The one opposite the end your at.
Will the lube oil work?
Only if you apply it to where the friction is.
What friction is Jim causing that requires lube oil?
Feuer Frei!
10-13-13, 09:52 PM
Hopefully something that Jim can easily overcome.
Who will win the FIFA 2014 World Cup?
The team that scores the most goals in the final.
What's better than a bird in the hand?
Fubar2Niner
10-14-13, 05:01 AM
Two in the undergrowth.
What did the runaway train blow, when it came over the hill?
Jimbuna
10-14-13, 05:02 AM
A bird in bed.
When will the ringing in your head stop?
When I kark it.
When will you kark it?
Jimbuna
10-14-13, 09:37 AM
If boredom is an associated factor...pretty soon.
You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
You have to go somewhere else to open it.
What's your favourite cheese?
Jimbuna
10-14-13, 03:27 PM
Cheshire light.
What's your favourite chocolate bar?
Lindt Dark Mint Intense
Will the man playing the ball ever play the man?
Tango589
10-14-13, 03:48 PM
Lindt 80% cocoa dark chocolate, or anything with alcohol in...
Whats the strangest cocktail you've had?
Edit: Dang it Tarjak!
Jimbuna
10-15-13, 08:10 AM
In Turkey this year...it was called 'Sex With The Bartender'.
Can you imagine what that must be like?
Tango589
10-16-13, 07:04 AM
Sweaty with the faint aroma of Turkish Delight.
Where in Turkey did you go?
Gallipoli to the wrong beach.:O:
What will Johnny Turk's response be?
Tango589
10-16-13, 07:13 AM
What the bleedin' heck is he doing on that beach?
Did you have a map to use?
No he jumped into someone else's limousine.
Which airport did he land at?
Tango589
10-16-13, 11:52 AM
Bodrum, he likes a long drive.
Why are all Turks called Johnny?
Jimbuna
10-16-13, 01:49 PM
Well it would be silly if they were all called Santa.
Where can I get a metric hammer from?
From the Toolshed in Oxford Street Darlinghurst.:03:
Did you know that Jim is a regular at the Toolshed?
Tango589
10-16-13, 06:27 PM
I didn't, but I do now!
Is Toolshed some kind of adult-only shop?
Google is your friend. :03:
Is Google your only friend?
Jimbuna
10-17-13, 05:27 AM
Dogpile is also one of my friends.
Ever taken the leaf out of a book about gardening?
Yep. There was no toilet paper left and needs must...
Have you ever had to use an emergency wipe?
Tango589
10-17-13, 06:08 AM
Not so far thankfully.
If I said you had a beautiful body would you like at me like I was weird?
Jimbuna
10-17-13, 12:01 PM
I may look but I doubt I'd like.
Nothing to see here, can we all move on?
No you need to stay put and face just a little bit of the danger.
Where does Monty keep his python?
Jimbuna
10-18-13, 11:40 AM
The dame place I keep mine.
Bet you wish you had a python and mot a worm?
No time to think about that as I'm off to my self defence class on how to defend myself from fruit.
Have you been slapped in the face by a fish?
Feuer Frei!
10-20-13, 11:24 PM
No.
Have you been slapped in the face by a wet cloth?
Yes. One of my daughters did it too me in her younger days.
Can you fit your ship in a bottle?
Jimbuna
10-21-13, 06:20 AM
Only after I've drank the contents.
If flying is safe why do you depart from a TERMINAL?
Tango589
10-23-13, 12:41 PM
Because it comes after the departure lounge.
can you ever have too much of a good thing?
Fubar2Niner
10-23-13, 01:23 PM
Never!!
How much is too much?
Jimbuna
10-23-13, 01:31 PM
More than your happy to give.
Does a cat burglar have whiskers?
Fubar2Niner
10-23-13, 01:33 PM
Only on his 'chinigin beginagain'
Does Father Christmas dye his beard?
Jimbuna
10-23-13, 01:39 PM
Not anymore since he died.
How did Rudolph get his red nose?
Fubar2Niner
10-23-13, 01:48 PM
Too much Guinness.
If Santa is dead does this mean no more pressies?
Tango589
10-23-13, 02:08 PM
No, because family members the world over were drafted in to take over.
Do you still hang a stocking at the end of your bed?
Jimbuna
10-23-13, 02:25 PM
Not since I married.
Does snow drift faster than water?
Tango589
10-23-13, 03:27 PM
Yes, because water doesn't drift, it flows.
Did the Drifters ever drift?
Not that I know. They grafted for many years.
Is continental drift what happens when a a Lincoln loses traction?
Jimbuna
10-23-13, 03:49 PM
Not when fitted with Dunlop tyres.
Is a fridge magnet frozen to the door?
Only in your house. Turn the heat up Jim ya tight basum!
Is Jims heritage Scottish?
I'll tell you for a fee...
Is the Antarctic really opposed to the Arctic or are they really friends?...
<O>
Tango589
10-23-13, 05:55 PM
Things are always chilly between them.
If there was an animal called an Ig, would it keep going to the toilet in Eskimo houses?
CaptainHaplo
10-23-13, 07:55 PM
Things are always chilly between them.
If there was an animal called an Ig, would it keep going to the toilet in Eskimo houses?
It would be stuck there in the i-glue....
At the Battle of Jut-Land - did everyone run aground?
Jimbuna
10-24-13, 06:23 AM
Only those near to Heli-Go-Land.
What advice would you give to a blind mute?
Tango589
10-25-13, 05:49 AM
'Listen very carefully, I shall say zis only once'
Can you nail a jelly (jello) to a tree?
Spiced_Rum
10-25-13, 06:15 AM
A. Yes, on top of a horizontal branch. Easier with raw jelly cube than one already made.
Q. How many cats would it take to make a fur hat?
This bloke knows http://aso.gov.au/titles/documentaries/wamsleys-war/clip1/
Where can you find good help these days?
Jimbuna
10-25-13, 11:21 AM
Try the British Red Cross.
Are we there yet?
Tango589
10-25-13, 12:41 PM
Nearly.
Can we stop soon because i need a wee?
Jimbuna
10-25-13, 12:43 PM
Use a bottle like everyone else.
At a movie theatre which arm rest is yours?
Both of them.
Why does a sedan chair only have 2 doors?
Jimbuna
10-25-13, 02:51 PM
The double decker version has four actually.
What is Satan's last name?
Tango589
10-26-13, 11:19 AM
O'Rafferty.
Where's the worst place you've been on holiday?
Jimbuna
10-26-13, 11:57 AM
Pakistan.
Why is it that everyone driving faster than you is considered an idiot and everyone driving slower than you is a moron?
Tango589
10-26-13, 12:47 PM
Because I'm the best driver on the road (in my opinion).
If you weren't on Subsim now, what would you be doing?
Having it off...Dam you Subsims. Not now Sally I'm busy posting.
So whose up for a peanut butter onion sandwich?
Sounds like you are on your own. And Sally is the name of your blow up doll.
Whos next for a ride on Sally?
Typical crim sarcastic remark. :rotfl2:
I am but shes naffed off out for a pint.
Who would like to see the crims get a good hard bashing at the ashes?
You mob have had your turn this year and now it's ours.
How come the poms can suddenly play cricket after they hire an Australian coach?
Tango589
10-26-13, 02:47 PM
We only do it to deprive the Ozzies of a cricket coach.
Does anyone understand the point of cricket?
Certainly.
Why is cricket so important to England?
It takes are mind off the rotten government of the day.
Why is Australia so crap at cricket?
Tango589
10-26-13, 02:58 PM
Because the heat gets to them and their Fosters' soaked brains start to boil over.
Why do the Ozzies insist on wearing lip gloss when they play?
Because they are a bunch of nancy boys who can't play cricket.
Why are the poms so crap at rugby league?
Tango589
10-26-13, 03:10 PM
Because we prefer Rugby Union.
Whats the difference between the 2?
Four men, a line out and a tackle limit.
Where do poms hide their cash?
Tango589
10-26-13, 03:51 PM
Cash? Have you seen the state of our country? No-ones' got any of that stuff anywhere!
What does Koala taste like?
Jimbuna
10-26-13, 04:24 PM
Best ask TarJak.
If a kid refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
Yes...open the mines and get them digging out coal, they will never refuse a nap ever again.
(This answer was bought to you by George Osbourne)
Have aliens landed in your garden?
Jimbuna
10-27-13, 07:07 AM
They wouldn't dare...the puppy has marked out his turf.
Is it rude for a deaf person to talk (sign) with their mouth full of food?
Tango589
10-27-13, 08:00 AM
No, but it's the height of bad manners to sign whilst holding stuff.
Has anything of value been blown away in your garden yet?
Jimbuna
10-27-13, 09:26 AM
No, been well watered by the rain but not blown away.
Why is the Lone Ranger called 'Lone' if he always has his Indian friend Tonto with him?
Because native Americans didn't count as people back then.
What happens if you forget remembrance day?
Jimbuna
10-27-13, 04:17 PM
Then it is obvious you have forgotten.
When does it stop being partly cloudy and start being partly sunny?
When you leave Britain.
If you can make a fist of it in business why don't they like it when you punch your staff?
Jimbuna
10-28-13, 12:55 PM
Nobody likes a coward that beats women.
If a baby's leg pops out at 11:59PM but his head doesn't come out until 12:01, which day were they born on?
Tuesday. :O:
Anyone have a after birth fry up?
Tango589
10-28-13, 04:51 PM
I wanted a fry up after i was born, but sadly I was too young.
How does a jet turbine work with so few moving parts? Is it witch-craft?
Jimbuna
10-29-13, 10:42 AM
It's generally an aircraft.
Can Bald people have Hairline fractures?
Herr-Berbunch
10-29-13, 11:14 AM
Yes, you can be bald and still have hair, a la Friar Tuck.
Except you, Jim!
Will I find out my employment future after tomorrow's meeting?
Tango589
10-29-13, 12:10 PM
Yes. I already know the result, but I'm not telling you!:O:
Is Gibberish a recognised language?
Jimbuna
10-29-13, 01:01 PM
There's at least one recent individual here you'd be better off asking that of.
What's the difference between a novel and a book?
Tango589
10-29-13, 04:03 PM
Novels are fiction, books can be anything.
Is there and English/Achtungbby translator?
Jimbuna
10-29-13, 04:05 PM
Highly doubtful and asked a few times already in other forum areas.
Who will be next?
Tango589
10-30-13, 02:43 PM
If not me then...Tarkak.
Why does life get so difficult at times?
If not me then...Tarkak.
Why does life get so difficult at times?
Mainly because you can't spell TarJak.
How would you like me to make your life difficult?
Jimbuna
10-30-13, 03:54 PM
Your in the wrong job...retire.
If cats and dogs didn't have fur would we still pet them?
Jimbuna
10-30-13, 03:55 PM
Crossed posts :doh:
Tango589
10-31-13, 10:34 AM
I do.
Do you want some of them?
Jimbuna
10-31-13, 01:20 PM
I have my own thanks.
When can the doubt be erased?
Tango589
11-02-13, 08:45 PM
When you are old enough to no longer give a damn.
At what age does life begin?
Jimbuna
11-03-13, 06:15 AM
Day 1
I haven't checked my lottery numbers yet, should I bother?
Tango589
11-03-13, 06:34 AM
Yes, as long as you share the winnings between your fellow simmers, not forgetting to give Onkel Neal a slice for the site!
How much are we getting each?
Jimbuna
11-03-13, 07:03 AM
Nowt, my numbers never came up.
What are the odds I'll win next week?
u crank
11-03-13, 07:20 AM
As good as ever.
I won 7 bucks on last nights draw. Should I splurge?
Jimbuna
11-03-13, 08:47 AM
Only if dressed appropriately.
Why is there only one Monopolies Commission?
Tango589
11-03-13, 09:00 AM
Probably for the same reason that abbreviation is such a long word.
Why would you want to teach your granny to suck eggs? Are shells soluble?
Because teaching her to blow them would be wrong.
Why does advertising work better with some people than others?
Jimbuna
11-03-13, 04:45 PM
Because some people are illiterate.
Any idea where I left my reading glasses?
Check the top of your head.
Do feather boas constrict their prey?
Jimbuna
11-03-13, 05:05 PM
No but the feathers have been known to choke people.
What size onesie do you prefer?
XL
When your wife offers to take you out for the evening should you pay?
Tango589
11-04-13, 05:15 AM
No. Re-enact youthful hi-jinks and run out together without paying.
How long will it be before plod feels your collar?
Jimbuna
11-04-13, 06:09 AM
Not long hopefully...she's a very attractive plod.
What's the justification in justifying oneself?
Tango589
11-04-13, 07:59 AM
The justification is that you feel justified in justifying yourself. (I think).
If all the chinese people in the world jumped in the air simultaneously, would the earth shift on its axis?
No but your dinner would be late.
Which is your favorite dish?
Jimbuna
11-04-13, 04:15 PM
Curry
Can you guess what is on the menu for supper tonight?
Tango589
11-04-13, 05:25 PM
Frogs legs in horseradish sauce, mashed parsnip and tripe dumplings. Spotted Dick and custard for dessert.
What's the optimum time to cook a soft boiled egg?
u crank
11-04-13, 06:09 PM
Just before you eat it.
Are there eggs in egg rolls?
Jimbuna
11-05-13, 01:25 PM
I certainly hope so or it is false advertising.
Need a hand to hail a cab?
No I use my phone thanks.
Can you be relied upon?
Spiced_Rum
11-06-13, 03:26 AM
A. All depends on what you are paying, and it does not involve heavy lifting, sewers, cats, or missing Game of Thrones.
Q. How far is Far Out?
Jimbuna
11-06-13, 05:38 AM
A bit further than not too far out.
What time are the chickens due home to roost.
About the same time as their dinner.
What exactly does a chicken dinner look like?
Jimbuna
11-06-13, 07:12 AM
Bloody lovely if your starving.
Wiys kiys are thiys?
The wrong ones.
Have you got a mackem typing for you?
Jimbuna
11-06-13, 07:37 AM
He's gone now thankfully...too much Pennywell monkey smell.
Who has been the kindest to you in your life?
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