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Fubar2Niner
08-11-13, 07:35 AM
Has occasionally felt like it's 'kicking' me in the head the morning after :doh:
Is a whisky mac some kind of scottish rain protection?
Jimbuna
08-11-13, 11:14 AM
Only in Glasgow.
Why do they call it taking a dump? Shouldn't it be leaving a dump?
WernherVonTrapp
08-11-13, 08:12 PM
I call it "launching a sub".
Isn't that what "dump trucks" are for?
The Enigma
08-12-13, 08:06 AM
I can't tell
What's a dump truck?
Jimbuna
08-12-13, 08:35 AM
No such thing in the UK as far as I'm aware unless it's a bin wagon.
Can blind people see their dreams?
fireftr18
08-12-13, 08:58 AM
Breaking the rules a bit here for the benefit of all.
Enigma, and everyone else with the same question.
A "dump truck" is a vehicle designed to hold bulk carried items such as dirt, rock, or whatever else similar. The cargo carrier, called a dump bed, is hinged on the back side and has hydraulic lifters on the front. The front lifts and dumps the load, thus the name "dump truck." They come in all sizes from a small truck to so large they can't be driven on a road.
http://i1168.photobucket.com/albums/r496/fireftr18/dumptruck_zpsba7b2795.jpg (http://s1168.photobucket.com/user/fireftr18/media/dumptruck_zpsba7b2795.jpg.html)
Jim, blind people only see their dreams if they're sleeping.
What are other countries' names for a "dump truck?"
Jimbuna
08-12-13, 09:03 AM
In the UK tipper truck.
Why does the sun always shine on tv?
The Enigma
08-12-13, 09:13 AM
......
A "dump truck" is a vehicle designed to hold bulk carried items such as dirt, rock, or whatever else similar. ......
Thanks fireftr18. Great explanation. :yeah:
Q:
Why does the sun always shine on TV?
A:
Press the stop button on you DVD/Blue ray player for christ sake!
You must be seeing Laurence of Arabia over and over again.
Did that solve the problem?
WernherVonTrapp
08-12-13, 11:13 AM
No, better draw the curtains.
What do TV dinners have to do with TV?
BossMark
08-12-13, 11:18 AM
Because you watch TV while eating it.
What is your favourite?
Fubar2Niner
08-12-13, 11:27 AM
That one.
Who is your favourite?
Jimbuna
08-12-13, 11:48 AM
Me.
Anyone else have a favourite?
Fubar2Niner
08-12-13, 11:56 AM
They do.
How many do you have?
soopaman2
08-12-13, 12:18 PM
How many do you have?
Just prime Ribs and a nice Macanudo.
Any countries I can import Cuban cigars from and not get locked up in Guantanimo Bay for it?
The Enigma
08-12-13, 01:53 PM
As far as I know, only at Guantanamo bay.
You better quit smoking.
Do you smoke?
Jimbuna
08-12-13, 02:27 PM
No.
Any bad habits?
The Enigma
08-12-13, 02:48 PM
Plenty, but I'm not going to tell you :O:
Name one of your good habbits
Jimbuna
08-12-13, 02:56 PM
I like beer.
Anyone for cricket?
Armistead
08-12-13, 09:44 PM
I like beer.
Anyone for cricket?
I prefer worms
Name the only time a fictional band has ever claimed a #1 hit on Billboard's annual Hot 100 top spot?
Only dummies google.
Jimbuna
08-13-13, 06:30 AM
The Archies "Sugar Sugar" and I honestly knew that.
Why is the 0 on a phone after 1 and not before 1?
Fubar2Niner
08-13-13, 10:41 AM
To confuse the numerically challenged.
If many hands make light work, why do too many cooks spoil the broth?
BossMark
08-13-13, 10:52 AM
It means that if too many people try to do the same thing, they end up ruining it.
Who spoils the broth the most?
Jimbuna
08-13-13, 11:00 AM
Generally the one who thinks they are the cleverest.
Is a bull sleeping in a field called a bulldozer?
Fubar2Niner
08-13-13, 11:42 AM
Only if you whisper....... ssshhhhhh
To be or not to be, is that the question?
Jimbuna
08-13-13, 01:55 PM
Could be.
Why does darkness fall and light rise?
WernherVonTrapp
08-13-13, 07:42 PM
Because the darkness does not prevail against the light.
Does the "light infantry" weigh less than other infantry?
Cybermat47
08-13-13, 07:47 PM
Of course. Why else would they be called light?
WHERE WERE THE OTHER DRUGS GOING?
Jimbuna
08-14-13, 05:11 AM
Across the border in a suitcase.
How many joints are there in the human body.
WernherVonTrapp
08-15-13, 05:50 PM
"it is very difficult to give a precise answer since it varies with the age of the person. A foetus has about 300 bones, but by the time of birth, many of them have fused together. The average adult human has 206 bones. If that wasn't complicated enough one then gets into difficulty by what is meant by a "joint". For example the skull is made up of a large number of small bony plates that knit together along their edges into a permanently fused structure that we think of as a single unit. Do we count each of those plates and where they meet as a "joint"?
In summary there is no definate answer to this question but the number is likely to be about 250-350."
http://www.askabiologist.org.uk/answers/viewtopic.php?id=3009
How many joints did you smoke before coming up with that question?:D:O:
Jimbuna
08-16-13, 05:46 AM
One short of one.
Which Is the Tastiest Dinosaur?
BossMark
08-17-13, 02:17 AM
The one that doesn't eat you
Which is your favourite dinosaur?
Herr-Berbunch
08-17-13, 02:28 AM
Any of them but Barney!
Anybody else dislike that thing?
Jimbuna
08-17-13, 09:38 AM
He's kinda cute really.
Do you know which way is the right way?
Fubar2Niner
08-17-13, 10:25 AM
Not sure :hmmm:
Is there a better way?
Sailor Steve
08-17-13, 11:34 AM
There's always a better way. I still haven't found it.
Have you found it?
Jimbuna
08-17-13, 01:20 PM
Yep but I aint tellin.
Just watched the film Abraham Lincoln the Vampire Hunter, have you seen it?
Fubar2Niner
08-17-13, 01:58 PM
Wished I hadn't :wah:
About to watch 'Boondock Saints' sat and terrestrial tv is mind numbingly boring. Reminds me of Springsteens '57 Channels and nothing on' :nope: What do you have on?
Jimbuna
08-17-13, 02:58 PM
Nothing atm but will be watching MOTD soon.
Did you hear that?
Fubar2Niner
08-18-13, 05:26 AM
Yes, that's the second time I've heard it!
What is it?
Jimbuna
08-18-13, 05:29 AM
If I told you I'd have to kill you afterwards.
You got a spare bullet for my gun?
Fubar2Niner
08-18-13, 05:42 AM
I happen to have one right here.
Do I really look that stupid ? :03:
Jimbuna
08-18-13, 06:01 AM
Just hang about a minute whilst I consult with your wife, family and friends :)
Is beauty only ever held within the eyes of the beholder?
Sailor Steve
08-18-13, 10:50 AM
The only thing held within the eyes of anyone is a sticky, gooey mess of tissue and blood vessels suspended in a liquid gel.
Did you really want to know that?
WernherVonTrapp
08-18-13, 10:56 AM
No, not me personally.
If potatoes have eyes, why are they all blind?
Jimbuna
08-18-13, 01:05 PM
Potato disease brought about by the famine.
Zombies have invaded the Earth - who’d be on your fighting team?
BossMark
08-19-13, 06:39 AM
With out any doubt what so ever Milla Jovovich
How about you?
Jimbuna
08-19-13, 10:39 AM
Iron Man
Can you rub a dub dub three men in a tub?
Fubar2Niner
08-19-13, 02:43 PM
No, but I can ring a ring a Rosie.
Is it just my imagination?
Jimbuna
08-19-13, 03:16 PM
Most definitely.
Will you answer the door when the men in white coats knock?
Tchocky
08-19-13, 03:17 PM
Yes, the piano movers are here!
House is on fire and you have time to grab one possession. Family and pets are safe - what do you take?
Jimbuna
08-19-13, 03:23 PM
My wallet.
Is life really that frustrating?
WernherVonTrapp
08-19-13, 07:21 PM
Only if you let it be.
Why a wallet; does money burn a hole in your pocket?
Jimbuna
08-20-13, 05:43 AM
It certainly does in my pocket.
Why is it that when someone tells you that there's billions of stars in the universe,
you believe them. But if they tell you there's wet paint somewhere you have to touch it?
WernherVonTrapp
08-20-13, 08:34 AM
Because they'd have to do all the scientific research and then publish the data about each specific "Wet Paint" incident before anyone will believe it, and that just takes too darn long.:O:
Why don't they have flashing lights and crossing-gates at a Deer Crossing zone?:hmm2:
Jimbuna
08-20-13, 09:59 AM
Wouldn't want to alarm the deer and stop them from crossing now would we.
How would you describe your version of a perfect home?
Full of naked sex mad women and gallons of cold cider & ales.
Will jim be starring in the next Star Wars movie?
Fubar2Niner
08-20-13, 12:57 PM
Only Jim knows, but I just laughed my tits off at that question :har::har:
If he does what character will he play?
Jimbuna
08-20-13, 03:16 PM
The Death Star :)
What character would you play?
Fubar2Niner
08-20-13, 03:21 PM
Princess Leias underwaer :o
Is the 'Force' like Carling Black Label, or, more Carlsberg Special Brew?
Jimbuna
08-20-13, 03:23 PM
I hope Black Label (currently drinking one).
Ever suffered from brewers droop?
Fubar2Niner
08-20-13, 03:37 PM
Not since drinking 'Amazing Stag'
Do brewers have a case against their bosses regarding impotence?
Jimbuna
08-21-13, 04:48 AM
Best ask someone brave enough to admit they suffer from the 'droop'.
Do you?
Feuer Frei!
08-23-13, 01:54 AM
No.
What's your biggest motivation for getting up in the morning?
Jimbuna
08-23-13, 04:24 AM
Currently, to watch The Ashes series on Sky Sports.
If all the world's a stage, where does the audience sit?
In your lap.
Why do women fart and then go on to say..."Poo you farted"?
Spiced_Rum
08-23-13, 02:52 PM
A. Because ladies do not break wind, and if they did it would smell of roses. Therefore, any foul stench must be the fault of a man.
Q. Why do they not use safety glass to make beer bottles?
WernherVonTrapp
08-23-13, 02:54 PM
Because it isn't safe.
Is it safe?
Yes...I mean no...wait...yes...no.
What was the question again.
Jimbuna
08-23-13, 02:59 PM
heaven only knows.
Better to do or dare?
Spiced_Rum
08-23-13, 03:23 PM
A. Who dares wins
Q. Better dead than Red?
Fubar2Niner
08-23-13, 03:27 PM
Better alive and a millionaire
Does this make me a Tory Toff?
Spiced_Rum
08-23-13, 03:55 PM
A. No because you chose the Reds, who would have exterminated or imprisoned any capitalist Tory.
Q. Why do people only call Tories toffs, when toff is about money and attitude and not their politics?
Fubar2Niner
08-23-13, 03:58 PM
I think you just answered your own question hehe
Why do budgies eat cuttlefish and not the other way round?
Spiced_Rum
08-23-13, 04:02 PM
A. Because budgies are a vicious predator that have to be kept locked up behind bars and distracted with mirrors and bells. Cuttlefish do not have mirrors or bells.
Q. Why do doves cry?
Edit: this answer is based on personal experience - never trust a budgie!
Fubar2Niner
08-23-13, 04:06 PM
Because their cots are open to all weathers.
Why isn't wan kin
the capital of China?
Spiced_Rum
08-23-13, 04:12 PM
A. Because china men prefer peeking.
Q. Is the Yellow River that color because of all the peasants urinating into it?
Fubar2Niner
08-23-13, 04:17 PM
Nup it just went that colour after Tony Christie started singing about it.
Why do people ask if someone is a mouse or a man, doesn't the size give it away?
Size isn't everything, they say...
Who are they and why are they saying it?...
<O>
Feuer Frei!
08-24-13, 02:46 AM
They are of mice and men. To alleviate the decades of persecution against mice. From men.
What are your thoughts on Governments receiving tobacco funding in countries where tobacco advertising is banned?
Jimbuna
08-24-13, 02:04 PM
I'm honestly not bothered either way.
Will it ever relent?
I was really aware it was lent in the first place...
Is gravity a matter for levity?
<O>
Feuer Frei!
08-25-13, 05:30 AM
It can be.
What's the current unemployment rate of your country?
BossMark
08-25-13, 06:08 AM
too bloody many
Do you like your current government?
Jimbuna
08-25-13, 06:51 AM
Not nearly as much as you do.
Should we have an alternative ending to death?
Only if it isn't fatal or makes me late for last call...
Why does buttered bread, if dropped, always land on the floor butter side down?
<O>
Spiced_Rum
08-25-13, 03:33 PM
A. Murphy's Law. The butter side heavier and causes greater rotation during decent.
Q. If a cat has its back covered in butter and is then dropped, will it land on its back?
Jimbuna
08-25-13, 03:41 PM
Yes.
When was the decision actually made?
Feuer Frei!
08-27-13, 03:02 AM
Then and there.
Did you go to University?
I did but I didn't study there.
What is universal that is also proprietary?
General Knowledge...
I ask, for whom does the bell toll?...
<O>
BossMark
08-27-13, 01:41 PM
Ernest Hemingway
Do think he was a good author?
Yes, loved his comedies...
If the the moving hands writes, then having writ, moves on, where does it move to?...
<O>
Jimbuna
08-27-13, 04:14 PM
The next shady corner.
Is it wise to admit folly?
Only if folly has a fully-paid admission ticket...
On which beach does one find the sands of time?...
<O>
The one where you leave your footprints.
Have you ever been through a desert on a horse with no name?
Feuer Frei!
08-28-13, 02:56 AM
Never.
You?
Jimbuna
08-28-13, 10:55 AM
Nor me...the horse couldn't talk.
Ever get that feeling your not alone?
Spiced_Rum
08-28-13, 02:16 PM
A. Not really because I feel that the voices in my head a real comfort.
Q. Is your inner self beautiful?
Jimbuna
08-29-13, 05:16 AM
The last time I looked it was.
Can you do the can can?
Yes I can can can
http://beautydart.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/can_can_moulin_rouge.jpg
Ever played kick the can?
Jimbuna
08-29-13, 10:06 AM
Yes...even got the t-shirt
https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTo2xIYDGivdLoinMWVrGp9BQQ4IO_nX cx-QZJ942cK0zU_8W-KkQ (http://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&frm=1&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&docid=cILwSACXxNxFgM&tbnid=oDc86gTt0WRIVM:&ved=0CAUQjRw&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sodahead.com%2Fliving%2Fwhat-was-your-favorite-outdoors-game-as-a-child%2Fquestion-1514415%2F%3Fpage%3D8&ei=QGMfUoKUI-zY0QXl_YD4DA&bvm=bv.51495398,d.ZG4&psig=AFQjCNHQahyxjRZQ7Crl1fpyjMiFY-cxbQ&ust=1377875037797585)
How hard must you rub before it's polished off?
That's not a worry; you'll go blind first...
Is the Minister in?...
<O>
Jimbuna
08-29-13, 03:34 PM
Yes...she's downstairs cooking my supper.
Will it ever happen?
A watched pot never boils...
What does an uwatched pot do?...
<O>
Sailor Steve
08-30-13, 12:25 AM
Boils down to nothing before you know it, and burns the pan.
Can you jump out of the frying pan and into the fire on an electric stove?
Spiced_Rum
08-30-13, 03:26 AM
A. Yes, if you get the oil hot enough in the frying pan to catch light to your work top, or are cooking a flambé on the stove.
Q. What size is a pinch of salt?
Jimbuna
08-30-13, 05:36 AM
Depends how much of it you steal.
How do you reach the end of a rainbow?
fireftr18
08-30-13, 06:58 AM
Follow it until it stop.
What would you do with the pot of gold you found?
I already spent it.
Where can I find another pot of gold?
Jimbuna
08-30-13, 10:49 AM
Underneath STEEDS bed.
Ever seen a blessing in disguise?
Yes, but since it was in disguise, I didn't notice it at first and it got away...
What, me worry?...
<O>
Where can I find another pot of gold?
Underneath STEEDS bed.
:har::har::har:
You should worry, Morbo's space fleet is on the way.
Dose anyone know where jim's secret stash of beer is kept?
Jimbuna
08-30-13, 03:11 PM
I most certainly do :smug:
Are you feeling lucky punk? Well are you?
Having drunk half of your beer stash, yes I feel lucky that I drank the half that wasn't Fosters.
Why does Jim like drinking Fosters so much?
Jimbuna
08-31-13, 01:32 PM
It helped celebrate our T20 victory over your lot today.
How many tests is it now since Australia last won one?
Two...If you count this year's men and women's England teams beating them. :DL
Is it true we have to defend the Ashes down under this winter?
BossMark
09-01-13, 05:01 AM
Yes it starts in November
Will the Cons get another thrashing?
Yes, particularly if the Pros put up a good fight...
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to see it, will the ground hog see its shadow?...
<O>
Jimbuna
09-01-13, 01:24 PM
Only if the sun is shining.
Why won't women accept the inevitable?
Spiced_Rum
09-02-13, 11:45 AM
A. Because their heads are full of fluffy kittens, perhaps? :hmmm:
Q. How black is coal?
Jimbuna
09-02-13, 11:56 AM
The same colour black as is oil.
Will there ever be an uncertain reality?
Armistead
09-02-13, 02:38 PM
How black is a black hole?:know:
Dark black.
Sheriff Andy Taylor of Mayberry took over the job of Sheriff from this man? It wasn't Poindexter.
I will only accept the correct answer.
Sailor Steve
09-02-13, 02:49 PM
He took over from me. You should know by now that correct answers are the exact opposite of what this thread is about.
Why do so many people insist on acting like me, when they know I'm such a bad influence?
Armistead
09-02-13, 03:24 PM
He took over from me. You should know by now that correct answers are the exact opposite of what this thread is about.
Why do so many people insist on acting like me, when they know I'm such a bad influence?
Our concern is not acting like an ass, but looking like one.
Who had sex with Ginger on the island?
Jimbuna
09-02-13, 03:42 PM
The gingerbread man of course.
Were you still waiting in the queue?
Armistead
09-02-13, 03:58 PM
The gingerbread man of course.
Were you still waiting in the queue?
If queue is a recliner brand, then yes.
Name a founding father?
u crank
09-02-13, 04:34 PM
If queue is a recliner brand, then yes.
Name a founding father?
Sir John A MacDonald.:D You didn't say what country.
What country?
Sir John A MacDonald.:D You didn't say what country.
What country?
Your favourite.
What's your favourite mode of transportation?
Sailor Steve
09-02-13, 06:22 PM
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery!:Kaleun_Applaud:
This is the 'Ask The Next Person a Question' thread, not the 'Bad Jokes' thread.
Your favourite.
What's your favourite mode of transportation?
Motorcycle.
How high can a man fly?
As high as his propulsion system will take him.
How far can seafood extender extend seafood to?
Jimbuna
09-03-13, 05:37 AM
To the deepest seabed.
Will we ever witness alien existence?
Spiced_Rum
09-03-13, 05:52 AM
A. Yes, you only have to look around at Joe Public to see the sheer number of space cadets and persons living in another world/reality.
Q. Does NASA stamp the passports of legal aliens?
Sailor Steve
09-03-13, 08:59 AM
Illegal aliens don't have passports.
Was that a trick question?
Spiced_Rum
09-03-13, 09:09 AM
A. Not a trick question. Some illegal aliens can still have a passport, just one that has not been offiically seen or stamped because of their method of illegal entry.
Q. Should aliens be charged a landing fee?
Jimbuna
09-03-13, 10:37 AM
Only if those who reside underwater are charged a swimming fee.
What comes after origin?
Spiced_Rum
09-04-13, 09:29 AM
A. 'al'. I would expect original to be the next word in the dictionary.
Q. In which direction do flying saucers rotate?
Depends on how drunk the pilot is.
Have you lost your nose to alien poachers who want it for human horn?
You don't understand the question! Tough, you clearly don't watch FUTURAMA.
Jimbuna
09-04-13, 03:00 PM
Your right, I don't.
Can we agree to disagree?
Not if I disagree to your agreement ageeing with me...
Where do you look when you've lost your mind?...
<O>
fireftr18
09-04-13, 09:22 PM
The brain depositary
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=m7-bMBuVmHo
Is it in my head?
Jimbuna
09-05-13, 05:02 AM
Yes...the abnormal one though.
Ever found a four leaf clover?
Spiced_Rum
09-05-13, 07:10 AM
A. Yes, but it did not taste very nice. Prefer corriander.
Q. Why is grass green?
Jimbuna
09-05-13, 08:05 AM
Some grass is yellow and a variety of shades between that and white.
I've just remembered what I have to do...you also?
Spiced_Rum
09-05-13, 09:39 AM
A. Yes, I knotted a piece of string to remind me.
Q. If my string had two knots, which would be the first to do?
You tell me.
Why is a ice bun called a ice bun where clearly there is no ice on the bun?
Ice as in frozen water smart arse. :har:
I always thought it was an iced bun because it had icing on it.
Who will win the election in Australia tomorrow?
You
What will Tarjaks first new law will be?
Ban the pommy cricket team from touring Australia without promising to lose the Ashes.
Who said I wouldn't make a great PM?
Jimbuna
09-06-13, 09:39 AM
Your wife?
Why is it called a wolf whistle when those animals are unable to?
Feuer Frei!
09-07-13, 02:45 AM
Good ole english language. That's why.
Spam. What is it good for?
Cooking!...and have it with your great British breakfast. :sunny:
Why add choc/straw.bana powder to milk to make a milkshake?
Surely you just shake to milk and there you go..
Jimbuna
09-07-13, 10:46 AM
Some prefer it stirred.
How do I convince my wife to allow the maid to sleep between us at night?
BossMark
09-07-13, 12:43 PM
Put the wife on Vodka
Will this work?
Only if it's still under warranty...
What's behind door No. 3?...
<O>
Jimbuna
09-07-13, 01:47 PM
No.4?
Why isn't a skeleton key made from bones?
Red October1984
09-08-13, 12:15 AM
Because. It's impractical.
Why is the amount of idiots in this world too high?
All part of the master plan to dumb down the world and keep you in your place. :Kaleun_Salivating:
Who is behind it?
The man behind the curtain
Which curtain will you choose? #1,#2 or #3?
u crank
09-08-13, 06:41 AM
The green one.
Would you like to spin the wheel?
No thanks, but I'll take a vowel.
Where can I get a smile like a game show host?
Tango589
09-08-13, 10:04 AM
At the same institute where game-show hosts are lobotomised.
If a lager is advertised as 5% premium lager then does that mean it's 95% donkey widdle?
Jimbuna
09-08-13, 10:08 AM
Only if brewed in Australia.
Where have all the good guys gone?
u crank
09-08-13, 10:24 AM
Well I'm here.
Where are you?
Jimbuna
09-08-13, 11:04 AM
Right here as well.
Anyone else?
Tango589
09-08-13, 11:28 AM
I'm not here.
Where am I?
Jimbuna
09-08-13, 12:02 PM
Over there?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Tango589
09-09-13, 06:07 AM
No, it would be called a raisin on legs.
Is it 5 o'clock somewhere yet?
Jimbuna
09-09-13, 06:34 AM
It is currently 5pm in Ahmedabad and 5am in Guatemala (give or take a few minutes).
When does time stand still?
Because its stuck at the bus stop with the rest of us waving our fists in the air shouting out..."My kingdom for a bus."
What is the longest time you waited for a bus?
Jimbuna
09-09-13, 02:01 PM
Not sure...I fell asleep.
Ever been physically sick on a dance floor?
u crank
09-09-13, 02:36 PM
Well I can't dance. Ask anyone.
Are you good on your feet?
Jimbuna
09-09-13, 03:50 PM
Only when sober.
What time is it anyway?
u crank
09-09-13, 04:05 PM
Only when sober.
:har:
Supper time for me.
What's cooking?
Tango589
09-09-13, 05:00 PM
Tarka masala. It's like tikka masala but a little 'otter'
What does panda taste of?
Jimbuna
09-10-13, 04:20 AM
Hair and bamboo shoots.
If you write a book about failure, and it doesn't sell, is it called success?
Tango589
09-10-13, 02:11 PM
No, because that's asilly name for a book.
Why does it always rain on me?
Spiced_Rum
09-10-13, 03:30 PM
A. Because you lied when you were 17.
Q. Can you avoid the lightning?
Tango589
09-10-13, 04:50 PM
Yes, use a rubber umbrella.
Is there really no business like show business?
Jimbuna
09-11-13, 07:51 AM
Now that depends on who is doing the performing.
What do you call a three-legged chicken?
Spiced_Rum
09-12-13, 02:41 AM
A. Finger licking good.
Q. Do you prefer Southern fried chicken breasts or legs?
Tango589
09-12-13, 10:39 AM
Personally, I'm a breast man.
Does Southern Fried Chicken have to be fried in the south?
Jimbuna
09-12-13, 03:40 PM
Much better if fried in the frying pan.
I wonder who will drop in without a parachute next?
Don't know, but they'll probably make a 'splashy' entrance...
If you were to stand exactly in the center of Mecca, which way would you face for prayers?
<O>
Tango589
09-12-13, 03:44 PM
The ground.
Does anyone fancy going down the pub?
Jimbuna
09-12-13, 03:47 PM
You buying?
Can a worm slither in either direction?
Tango589
09-12-13, 04:06 PM
Only if it has reversing lights.
What is the air speed velocity of a swallow?
Depends on what you're swallowing...
Can you judge a cover by its book?...
<O>
Tango589
09-12-13, 04:28 PM
Only if looks guilty.
is xenophobia a morbid fear of buddhists?
Jimbuna
09-13-13, 12:02 PM
Only if your a xenophobe.
Is it still beyond compare?
Feuer Frei!
09-14-13, 02:41 AM
No.
Why does Jim insist on asking the obvious? (:O:)
Feuer Frei!
09-14-13, 03:39 AM
snip
Wrong area to post gripes about Ubisoft...
If you have any gripes with them, go to their official website and post there.
http://forums.ubi.com/forum.php
EDIT: If you are looking for SH 5 Modders and their great work, they can be found here:
http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/forumdisplay.php?f=249
Thank you for your attention.
Question stands:
Why does Jim insist on asking the obvious? (:O:)
Because the obvious is all he understands.
Will he ever learn?
Tango589
09-14-13, 07:05 AM
Only if it's beaten into him with rubber hoses.
Is violence an acceptable means of education?
Sailor Steve
09-14-13, 09:40 AM
Only if I'm doing it.
Is it worth it?
u crank
09-14-13, 09:57 AM
Depends on how bad you want it.
Do bribes work better?
BossMark
09-14-13, 10:04 AM
That depends on who you bribe
Who would you bribe?
u crank
09-14-13, 10:10 AM
Depends on what I want.
Any suggestions?
Tango589
09-14-13, 10:57 AM
The rough end of a pineapple.
How do womens' minds work?
u crank
09-14-13, 12:40 PM
That's the subject of a number of conspiracy theories.
Any ideas?
Jimbuna
09-14-13, 03:24 PM
None at the moment I'm afraid.
Anyone else got any?
Tango589
09-14-13, 03:29 PM
Yes. Lets pretend we know how womens' minds work, but in reality we'll carry on in blissful ignorance. They'll never tell the difference.
Are farts lumpy?
Jimbuna
09-14-13, 03:48 PM
Depends on whether you ate mince and dumplings earlier.
Anyone else planning on being uncouth?
u crank
09-14-13, 04:04 PM
No sir. Not today.
Is there a prize for good behaviour?
Not on this thread.
Do you wear women's knickers on the grounds they are smooth?
Mr Quatro
09-14-13, 08:12 PM
Answer:
I only wear knickers when I am doing the floors ... they keep my knees from getting all red.
Question:
Did you post in this thread: http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/showthread.php?t=207470
Sailor Steve
09-14-13, 09:11 PM
Of course not. That would be rude.
Did you post in this thread?
http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/showthread.php?t=207471
Spiced_Rum
09-15-13, 03:31 AM
A. No not yet, but I am thinking about it. :06:
It is like having a red button that you should not push but only makes you want to push it to see what will happen.
Q. Would you push the red button?
YES...every button it takes to get that..
That what?
BossMark
09-15-13, 05:41 AM
Go for a pint
Whos turn is it?
Jimbuna
09-15-13, 07:14 AM
Yours
Can I have a pie with my pint?
Yes a cow pie.
Will Jim enjoy his pie as much as we will watching him eat it?
Tango589
09-15-13, 08:26 AM
No, because his pie will be a vegetarian cowpie.
Are oxymorons moronic?
Jimbuna
09-15-13, 09:07 AM
Yes, that is an accurate estimation.
Who ate all the pies?
Tango589
09-15-13, 11:07 AM
A bat fastard.
Can we expect an indian summer this year?
Jimbuna
09-15-13, 01:01 PM
I think it's time for an Australian one this year.
Handbags at twenty paces?
Tango589
09-16-13, 05:34 AM
Only if the hand bags have bricks in them.
Do you get steel wool from double-hard sheep?
Spiced_Rum
09-17-13, 02:11 PM
A. No, from the swagger man's bag. A jumbuck's fleece that has been stolen.
Q. Why was the cork board?
Tango589
09-17-13, 02:53 PM
Because it didn't have anything to 'wine' about.
D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F?
Jimbuna
09-17-13, 04:09 PM
Post a picture and the community will decide.
I reckon they won't, what do you reckon?
Tango589
09-17-13, 04:47 PM
probably not.
Am I risking the unbridled wrath of the moderators?
Jimbuna
09-18-13, 04:15 AM
Only if the moderator is riding bareback.
Is it simply a case of horses for causes?
How the heck do I know, I'm not the all seeing all knowing Daily Mail.
Dose you wife/ girl friend fart in front of you?
Tango589
09-18-13, 09:38 AM
No, she lets me go first.
How many more times are farts going to be mentioned in this thread?
About five million give or take.
What dose brain fart stand for?
Tango589
09-18-13, 09:46 AM
When your normally rational thinking process backfires with a loud raspberry and something unpleasant comes out instead.
Is it time for me to have a hair cut?
Well if your hair is in the way then I say go for it.
Have ever wondered about shaving all your hair off for good?
Jimbuna
09-18-13, 02:29 PM
Have you?
Looks like a win ya reckon?
Tango589
09-18-13, 06:00 PM
Depends who's playing.
Who put the ram in the rama-lama-ding-dong?
Mr Quatro
09-19-13, 12:03 PM
Depends who's playing.
Who put the ram in the rama-lama-ding-dong?
What kind of question is that?
I thought Hostess bakery went broke and that they didn't make ding dong's anymore :woot:
Question:
If Neal is now batman, according to his new avatar ...
Then who is his Robin?
Tango589
09-19-13, 01:34 PM
Jimbuna (he would look good in that outfit:haha:)
Will I ever erase that image from my mind?
Yes..And now jimbo in a G-String.
Can you go on with that image in your mind?
Jimbuna
09-19-13, 02:46 PM
Doesn't look like I have much choice.
Are we there yet?
Fubar2Niner
09-19-13, 02:49 PM
Not quite yet, but close.
Do you want a wee wee ?
Jimbuna
09-19-13, 02:51 PM
Yes, strangely enough....damn beer.
Are you drinking tonight?
Fubar2Niner
09-19-13, 02:58 PM
Ahem as if..........
Was that a stupid question?
Jimbuna
09-19-13, 03:11 PM
I don't know, was it?
Will the rationale make any sense?
Fubar2Niner
09-19-13, 03:15 PM
Not after this bottle of gin has gone.
Who removed the stannah stair lift?
Tango589
09-19-13, 04:01 PM
Someone who lives in a bungalow.
can you say 'Whale oil beef hooked' without sounding like an Irishman swearing?
Fubar2Niner
09-20-13, 08:10 AM
Whale oil beef hooked!
There, how was that?
Jimbuna
09-20-13, 09:13 AM
Absolutely terrible!!
What is on the other side of the moon?
Spiced_Rum
09-20-13, 09:20 AM
A. Space, an awful lot of it.
Q. Does the Organised Crime Division have really neat and tidy offices?
Fubar2Niner
09-20-13, 10:11 AM
Possibly
Does an MI5 agent progress through MI5.5 before going on to MI6 ?
Herr-Berbunch
09-20-13, 10:31 AM
I hope not, it was bad enough sitting through MI3.
Anything exciting planned for the weekend?
Jimbuna
09-20-13, 10:33 AM
Breighton.
You going too?
Herr-Berbunch
09-20-13, 10:39 AM
Not this weekend, a load of kids' parties on Sunday.
Will it take Jim long to get there?
Jimbuna
09-20-13, 10:43 AM
No idea, I'll be snoozing so only the driver can answer that.
Was there ever an era that time forgot?
Fubar2Niner
09-20-13, 11:03 AM
No but there was a land.
If I looked at myself upside down in the mirror, would the Sidney opera house be behind me?
Spiced_Rum
09-20-13, 12:58 PM
A. Possibly, but you would see your didgeridoo.
Q. Venison's dear isn't it?
Jimbuna
09-20-13, 01:14 PM
Only when compared to the price of truffles.
If muscle bound who does most of the work?
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