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Old 03-26-14, 08:03 PM   #31
Red October1984
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You're young yet and you'll have ample opportunities in the future.

Flipping your car was a good one though, Chitwood.
Not really an embarrassing one...just a bad one.
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Old 03-26-14, 08:37 PM   #32
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hehe Platapus, you got to watch those toys... When my son was about 5 he found the toy drawer, walked into the living room with one. Lucky my wife and I were the only ones there and we told him it was a flashlight.
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Old 03-27-14, 07:12 AM   #33
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hehe Platapus, you got to watch those toys... When my son was about 5 he found the toy drawer, walked into the living room with one. Lucky my wife and I were the only ones there and we told him it was a flashlight.
Armistead jr; " Looks more like a dong to me daddy."
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Old 03-27-14, 03:04 PM   #34
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Or a bunny rabbit
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Old 03-27-14, 03:06 PM   #35
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Armistead jr; " Looks more like a dong to me daddy."

The size probably confused him..
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Old 03-27-14, 04:26 PM   #36
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The size probably confused him..
It's not a problem until the tyke tells the pastor about it.
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Old 03-27-14, 05:12 PM   #37
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[QUOTE=Armistead;2190431]Wanna share?

I've had too many, but I'll share one of my worse. I worked for a company for about 19 years when I finally got promoted to the Sr. Project Manager. I had a nice size room outside of my office that I made sort of a man cave out of...



For me, summer of the year. Pearl Harbor Naval Base. on the museum grounds, which was then undergoing renovation, sat a perhaps 1/2 to 3/4 scale iron model of a Japanese midget sub. Maybe the Ko-yoteki No.19, which I visit from time to time in Fredericksburg, Texas, I never knew. Anyway, lurching back with a few mates from a night on the Honolulu town in the dives of Hotel St, we came upon the sub in the darkness of an early Saturday morning and climbed onto its tower, which was topped by a simple round hatch and climbed inside.
It was in this pitch darkness, lit only by a ZIPPO, that I went under from too much drink served with too many paper umbrellas. Time passed. Upon awakening, startled in the dark, I clanged my head on a pipe and then realized with a shock the ''where''. But what was ''now''? And where was everybody else?
Fumble for the hatch, throw the lid back, and stand up..

..before what was around Noon the same day in front of dozens of shrieking and startled Japanese tourists and elder veterans wearing Hawaiian shirts and blue ballcaps snapping pics as fast as they could while I slunk down from the conning tower and beat a hasty retreat towards the Loch and my own ship , where I was fortunately, not ''UA'', this being another weekend day.


Weeks later, after avoiding the area and the sub around the museum like the plague, I noticed that a hasp had been welded onto the conning hatch with a sturdy padlock included...

Days later I left Pearl, not to see her again...
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Old 03-27-14, 07:08 PM   #38
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It's not a problem until the tyke tells the pastor about it.

The tyke is 17 now and thankfully has never mentioned it..

The drawer beside the bed now holds other needed items, vapor rub, Ben Gay, earplugs, etc....
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Old 03-27-14, 07:20 PM   #39
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The drawer beside the bed now holds other needed items, vapor rub, Ben Gay, earplugs, etc....
Kinky.
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Old 03-27-14, 08:13 PM   #40
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The tyke is 17 now and thankfully has never mentioned it..

The drawer beside the bed now holds other needed items, vapor rub, Ben Gay, earplugs, etc....
He's probably been trying to light his torch ever since.

I guess you keep the Metamucil in the kitchen?

Have you ever used Vaseline for sex? Cover outer door knob of bedroom with generous amount. Keeps the kids in the hall where they belong.
Works just as well on future mother in laws if used on front door knob.
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Old 03-27-14, 09:46 PM   #41
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He's probably been trying to light his torch ever since.

I guess you keep the Metamucil in the kitchen?

Have you ever used Vaseline for sex? Cover outer door knob of bedroom with generous amount. Keeps the kids in the hall where they belong.
Works just as well on future mother in laws if used on front door knob.
we use those things called door locks! you should google it........
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Old 03-28-14, 06:01 AM   #42
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we use those things called door locks! you should google it........
Those don't always work. Ask Platapus.
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Old 03-28-14, 07:13 AM   #43
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Those don't always work. Ask Platapus.
Hehe.....We also put a sign on the door "Don't come a knocking if your hear Armistead a rocking - Be done in 2 minutes, you can wait"
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Old 03-28-14, 03:58 PM   #44
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I was at the hardware/feed store a couple of years ago with the daughter in law. I eased out a fart that was absolutely silent......Wow! Did it ever stink!
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Old 03-28-14, 04:05 PM   #45
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I was at the hardware/feed store a couple of years ago with the daughter in law. I eased out a fart that was absolutely silent......Wow! Did it ever stink!
I hope you were in the fertilizer aisle.
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