The Bilge

[Wolferz]

Originally Posted by Aktungbby

NOPE! you are the indispensable man! IE: the forward torpedo crew of our bilgerat pigboat!(It's literally a one man job!) Job description as follows: LT Armistead to personally detonate the SPAR torpedo: a series of lines that operates the spar torpedo that must be carefully pulled in sequence, in the dark, and possibly under fire. As with the immortal LT Cushing.... you coolly execute the task, a bullet(s) may "tear at his collar, and two more ripped through his clothing." the 16-foot-long iron pole that served as the sub’s weapon delivery system,... Not a release mechanism but rather the copper sleeve of the torpedo itself. This means the torpedo (120 lbs black powder??!!) exploded at the end of the spar, a discovery of critical importance. Due to the obvious expendability of your position, (see diagram below) You are prematurely issued The Southern Cross of Honour to maintain the remnants of your morale and the customary letter to yer next of kin has been prepared. Naturally your access to the medicinal bilge brew shall remain unhampered. We of the cranky crew will remain with the aft torpedo room shemales -as far back from the blast as possible-maintaining the remnants of our own (steel-balled) morale!

And you get hoisted by your own petard.

Originally Posted by Armistead

What am I going to blow up? For us to do this, Wolferz must infiltrate some enemy port and he's still in the head even though he ran out of toilet paper a week ago.

Can you color code or number the lines so I don't forget the right order. Sometimes I get really stressed under stress, yea, I can say that.

I would also like one last visit in the aft.

Nobody wants to visit that swamp you call your aft. Not in it, near it or on it.
EVER! We'll just take you at your word about the "PU" tattoo on your bumper.

Did you have the "P" inked on the port cheek and the "U" inked on the starboard? That should really confuse the hookers. They won't know which end is "UP"