The Bilge
 

Welcome to the Bilge.
A club for scallywags and ne'er-do-wells and the occasional pirate radio DJ.

We are an equal opportunity insult club formerly known as Ubirats in the bilges. Since Ubisoft decided to claim explicit domain on everything Ubisoft, whether created by them or not, I've broken all mooring lines with a fire axe. Well, chopped them off really. We are now free to navigate the ins and outs of outrageous misfortune. I hope she doesn't mind too much.:cool:

We, the management, welcome one and all for beer and laughs.
We only ask that you keep it clean by not puking on the floor. It smells bad enough in here already.:-?
I got a new coffee maker, Armistead and you're in charge of it. I hope you made enough on the slug bait to buy some coffee and filters.:yep: I spent the last of the petty cash on a mani/peti with a happy ending.:up: That Vietnamese girl is good, let me tell ya.:woot:

First, while we did exodus from Ubisoft....we remain a core group of Ubirats, our inner core where only a few know the secret handshake.

Seems we did elect you as leader or just figured you were stupid enough to lead us by not leading us, but I think the original rats should vote on your proclamation that the bilge can now be open to the common rat? Should anyone be allowed to be a rat is the question? Now, as a member in full standing, I have benefitted a few with honorary rat membership for a day or so, including all benefits....but I never told them our codes, ritual, secrets, etc....Do we really want all of this to be known is another question? Shouldn't we at least charge a entry fee, better yet...monthly fees?

I was originally voted or took the office of Treasurer.. is the coffee pot an additional office or have I lost my previous office?

Anyways, I think votes should be taken on anyone wanting to be part of your new bilge, with it known to all the Ubirats are in control.

Anyways again, I'll make a list of my complaints and concerns for our next corporate meeting.

I don't think you were voted in as leader and we can sure not vote you in again..

My first vote is to change the secret handshake.




{Really, whose idea was it we shed our pants and grab and shake each others wankers to start with...}

We need to keep the club exclusive to those of us who migrated from Ubisoft. Everyone else can be a welcome guest member with all privileges, except of course our secret codes, rituals, secrets, etc. They don't want to know them anyway.
Armistead, I agree with you about the secret handshake, let's just get rid of it.
Wolferz, I don't remember voting you as leader either, but if you want the long thankless hours, then that's fine by me. I'll take up my usual spot in the corner, and speak up now and then. By the way, I want my ax back.

Now, for first order of business, I propose we put up a memorial picture of the long lost Wernher VonTrapp.

What the hell you going on about here? :-?

Sounds like some sordid back street pub selling beer in boob mugs and filth dirty magazines so filthy they will make your eyes pop out at the filthy state they are in after been dropped in a muddy puddle.

No point calling the police their all at the lodge working on their new doggy wink wink say no more.

I don't know about getting rid of the secret handshake, just put some time limits on it?

I think I voted Wolferz as leader and that was good enough for him.

Someone gave you an axe?

I agree about a picture of Wern. Just so happens he sent me a baby picture of himself...or is that his self...anyways...one I used in one of my tales of him in the "life of Wern". let's hang it in the head in his memory..

http://i651.photobucket.com/albums/u...424/wern-2.jpg

I have no problem letting him in....

If you're looking for a willing misfit to join your ranks, I put myself forward.

If I'm not welcome, then sod the lot of you, I'll go and start my own club.:O:

not the attitude to get a deal done...

Feel free to start your own club, but we'll sue if you start using our handshake.

I thought a certain truculence would help me fit in better. My bad.

FYI, no handshake I came up with would ever involve dropped trousers and waggled wangers, but who an I to judge?

Well, to be a full member with benefits, we do have certain rituals to go through.....It weeds out misfits and builds trust...

I found the original Ubirat membership, details and other stuff from a few years ago...

Just thought it would be helpful...

Chairman - Armistead

President - Wolferz
Vice President - Werner Von Trapp {AWOL}
Treasurer - MWolfe1963 {AKA Armistead}
Director of Alcohol - Cmdrmoose
Chief Quality Officer {hires hookers/booze tester} Swamprat69
Director of Pubic Affairs - Blowtanks
Dept of Heads {head cleaner} Fireftr18
Director of Marketing - {speeches and spellchecking} -paulhager
Director of Trash - nohunt
Head of Security -{Chairman's Guard} captgeo
Director of Coffee Pot/Pinup Model RatGirl/Nurse/Laundry - donna577

Members in Good Standing
Celeon999
Yooper
Tambor
Loulouis

Members Standing
cgkstealth

Members Sitting {poor standing}
Andypandy
denis4510
Oldfart
merc4ulfate
Bigdog
bubblehead

Honorary Members
{Neal }

Ubirat HALL OF FAME
{None Yet}

{I found our first meeting minutes}

02/31/2012

Come to order
Everyone give the secret handshake
ouch
ouch
ouch
AHHhhh
I can't
Yessss...
Enough with the secret handshake...
AWWW
Dern...
hiccup
Who farted
Anyone got anything to say
Bite me
bring in the girls
We need to order toilet paper
wirebrush works
Use your hand like always

ORDER ORDER!

order what
Beer
Girls
toilet paper

ANYTHING IMPORTANT

Fireftr has a strange rash on his nads
How do you know?
I vote we conclude the meeting {Fireftr18}
Me too
Yea
Burp
Meeting adjourned..

The founding members...
 

http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/b...up-costume.jpg
From left to right... MWolfe, Wernher, firefiter18.

Talk about your three blind rats!
I would've been in the shot but, somebody had to take the picture and we couldn't afford a professional photographer.

I don't remember who came up with that secret handshake.
{selective memory loss from a stroke} instead of a shake.:huh:

It may have had something to do with the hookers...
http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/b...lind_mice1.jpg

and the mickies Swamprat was putting in our beer.:doh:

C'mon in Steed. We like fellows with down under accents.:shucks:

If'n you don't perform the secret handshake Mister Tango, well, I don't blame you. Armistead gets all touchy feely and wants to man hug everybody when we greet new members. Just smack him with a rolled up newspaper or stuff a pretzel in his mouth and he'll calm down. {low blood sugar I think}
Truculence:06: That's aggressively brutal of you to say.

Step back FF, it's my axe now and we need the fire wood.:stare:

Alright, it sounds like a laugh with the beer, scallywags, ner-do-wells and secret handshake. I want in and promise not to vomit in the pot plants too often.

Done deal!
That'll be $118.14 {cash} for the first month of membership.
Are you any good at bleaching out blood stains? There was an unfortunate accident with a hooker, an axe and the coffee pot in my office. The less said the better.:shifty:

Armistead, we have petty cash now! Get bleach!

That's enough with the secret handshake. The hooker is a recovering voyeur.