The Bilge - Page 32

Wolferz · 11-09-14, 04:27 AM

Huh? Wha?

Whoozzat?
>hic< zzz

Tango589 · 11-09-14, 08:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wolferz

Huh? Wha?

Whoozzat?
>hic< zzz

And so the Mighty Leader speaketh, but no-one took the blindest bit of notice and carried on as usual. I'm going to have a reversible sign made up for Wolferz' throne room. On one side it'll say 'Occupied by the Captain', and on the other it'll say 'Back in 5 minutes'.

Armistead · 11-09-14, 10:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buddahaid

Passed out, you amatuer! That's deep in advanced thinking technique. I mean everyone knows that!

I've seen his plans, he plans to sail us all to Wewak to live amongst the natives, installing himself as king.

Then there's me, overlooked for leadership. I have a plan to make us men again, charts, graphs, advanced social training and vigorous exercise. With me, you have a chance to actually fight the enemy and die proudly for your country. Don't any of you want to be heroes?

WHO"S WITH ME?

Jimbuna · 11-09-14, 11:46 AM

Wolferz · 11-09-14, 12:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Armistead

I've seen his plans, he plans to sail us all to Wewak to live amongst the natives, installing himself as king.

Then there's me, overlooked for leadership. I have a plan to make us men again, charts, graphs, advanced social training and vigorous exercise. With me, you have a chance to actually fight the enemy and die proudly for your country. Don't any of you want to be heroes?

WHO"S WITH ME?

You're confused again. As usual.

The object is to make the other guys die for their country.
If you allow yourself to be killed, I'll have no choice but to bring you up on charges of DESTRUCTION OF GOVERNMENT PROPERTY.

Armistead · 11-09-14, 01:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wolferz

You're confused again. As usual.

The object is to make the other guys die for their country.
If you allow yourself to be killed, I'll have no choice but to bring you up on charges of DESTRUCTION OF GOVERNMENT PROPERTY.

Not likely we're gonna die here in port. Can't we just take a spin around the bay and see what our one working engine can do? Can I steer just once?

Aktungbby · 11-09-14, 03:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Armistead

Not likely we're gonna die here in port. Can't we just take a spin around the bay and see what our one working engine can do? Can I steer just once?

NOPE! you are the indispensable man! IE: the forward torpedo crew of our bilgerat pigboat!(It's literally a one man job!) Job description as follows: LT Armistead to personally detonate the SPAR torpedo: a series of lines that operates the spar torpedo that must be carefully pulled in sequence, in the dark, and possibly under fire. As with the immortal LT Cushing.... you coolly execute the task, a bullet(s) may "tear at his collar, and two more ripped through his clothing." the 16-foot-long iron pole that served as the sub’s weapon delivery system,... Not a release mechanism but rather the copper sleeve of the torpedo itself. This means the torpedo (120 lbs black powder??!!

) exploded at the end of the spar, a discovery of critical importance.

Due to the obvious expendability of your position,

(see diagram below) You are prematurely issued The Southern Cross of Honour

to maintain the remnants of your morale and the customary letter to yer next of kin has been prepared. Naturally your access to the medicinal bilge brew shall remain unhampered. We of the cranky crew will remain with the aft torpedo room shemales -as far back from the blast as possible-maintaining the remnants of our own (steel-balled) morale!

Armistead · 11-09-14, 06:51 PM

What am I going to blow up? For us to do this, Wolferz must infiltrate some enemy port and he's still in the head even though he ran out of toilet paper a week ago.

Can you color code or number the lines so I don't forget the right order. Sometimes I get really stressed under stress

, yea, I can say that.

I would also like one last visit in the aft.

Wolferz · 11-09-14, 07:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aktungbby

NOPE! you are the indispensable man! IE: the forward torpedo crew of our bilgerat pigboat!(It's literally a one man job!) Job description as follows: LT Armistead to personally detonate the SPAR torpedo: a series of lines that operates the spar torpedo that must be carefully pulled in sequence, in the dark, and possibly under fire. As with the immortal LT Cushing.... you coolly execute the task, a bullet(s) may "tear at his collar, and two more ripped through his clothing." the 16-foot-long iron pole that served as the sub’s weapon delivery system,... Not a release mechanism but rather the copper sleeve of the torpedo itself. This means the torpedo (120 lbs black powder??!!

) exploded at the end of the spar, a discovery of critical importance.

Due to the obvious expendability of your position,

(see diagram below) You are prematurely issued The Southern Cross of Honour

to maintain the remnants of your morale and the customary letter to yer next of kin has been prepared. Naturally your access to the medicinal bilge brew shall remain unhampered. We of the cranky crew will remain with the aft torpedo room shemales -as far back from the blast as possible-maintaining the remnants of our own (steel-balled) morale!

And you get hoisted by your own petard.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Armistead

What am I going to blow up? For us to do this, Wolferz must infiltrate some enemy port and he's still in the head even though he ran out of toilet paper a week ago.

Can you color code or number the lines so I don't forget the right order. Sometimes I get really stressed under stress

, yea, I can say that.

I would also like one last visit in the aft.

Nobody wants to visit that swamp you call your aft. Not in it, near it or on it.
EVER! We'll just take you at your word about the "PU" tattoo on your bumper.

Did you have the "P" inked on the port cheek and the "U" inked on the starboard? That should really confuse the hookers. They won't know which end is "UP"

Aktungbby · 11-09-14, 08:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Armistead

I would also like one last visit in the aft.

^Seating Arrangements: in order of Expendability bow to stern...no changes allowed! Armistead;Kapit.Endraß;Wolfertz;Tango;FireFtr8;Swa mprat;Aktung;Donna-alway polite to ladies! PS: ARMIBBY whose aft did you have in mind?

The color code is 1. Red/ 2. White/ and 3. Blew...sky high!

I kept it reeeal simple.

Armistead · 11-09-14, 08:59 PM

So I sink my spar into the enemy while pulling with you guys aft of me?

When I start pulling, do I just jerk once or over and over until the explosion?

What if something goes wrong, do we have a plan B?

Maybe someone else should do it, I'll just make a big mess of it...

swamprat69er · 11-09-14, 09:32 PM

I think you can do your own pulling.

Wolferz · 11-09-14, 09:52 PM

Only truck drivers have intimate knowledge of pulling things.

Forget the complicated lanyard system. We'll give Armistead a Bic to light the fuse on the charge.

On second thought, we better make that a box of strike anywhere kitchen matches.
Try not to ignite those bubbles coming from your aft.

Armistead · 11-09-14, 10:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wolferz

Only truck drivers have intimate knowledge of pulling things.

Forget the complicated lanyard system. We'll give Armistead a Bic to light the fuse on the charge.

On second thought, we better make that a box of strike anywhere kitchen matches.
Try not to ignite those bubbles coming from your aft.

maybe we should give it a dry run first...

swamprat69er · 11-09-14, 10:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Armistead

maybe we should give it a dry run first...

That might hurt.

11-09-14, 04:27 AM	#466
Wolferz Navy Seal Join Date: May 2007 Location: On a mighty quest for the Stick of Truth Posts: 5,963 Downloads: 52 Uploads: 0	Huh? Wha? Whoozzat? >hic< zzz __________________ Tomorrow never comes

11-09-14, 11:46 AM	#469
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,473 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	__________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

11-09-14, 06:51 PM	#473
Armistead Rear Admiral Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: on the Dan Posts: 10,880 Downloads: 364 Uploads: 0	What am I going to blow up? For us to do this, Wolferz must infiltrate some enemy port and he's still in the head even though he ran out of toilet paper a week ago. Can you color code or number the lines so I don't forget the right order. Sometimes I get really stressed under stress, yea, I can say that. I would also like one last visit in the aft. __________________ You see my dog don't like people laughing. He gets the crazy idea you're laughing at him. Now if you apologize like I know you're going to, I might convince him that you really didn't mean it.

11-09-14, 08:59 PM	#476
Armistead Rear Admiral Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: on the Dan Posts: 10,880 Downloads: 364 Uploads: 0	So I sink my spar into the enemy while pulling with you guys aft of me? When I start pulling, do I just jerk once or over and over until the explosion? What if something goes wrong, do we have a plan B? Maybe someone else should do it, I'll just make a big mess of it... __________________ You see my dog don't like people laughing. He gets the crazy idea you're laughing at him. Now if you apologize like I know you're going to, I might convince him that you really didn't mean it.

11-09-14, 09:32 PM	#477
swamprat69er Aceydeucy Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Ontario,Canada Posts: 1,889 Downloads: 11 Uploads: 0	I think you can do your own pulling. __________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ That which does not kill us, makes us stronger. We the willing, led by the unsure, have done so much with so little, for so long, that we are now qualified to do anything with nothing.

11-09-14, 09:52 PM	#478
Wolferz Navy Seal Join Date: May 2007 Location: On a mighty quest for the Stick of Truth Posts: 5,963 Downloads: 52 Uploads: 0	Only truck drivers have intimate knowledge of pulling things. Forget the complicated lanyard system. We'll give Armistead a Bic to light the fuse on the charge. On second thought, we better make that a box of strike anywhere kitchen matches. Try not to ignite those bubbles coming from your aft. __________________ Tomorrow never comes