The 50 Shades effect

[Cybermat47]

Originally Posted by Herr-Berbunch

What? Me and the toaster? She said it would be private, just between us.

Hey... you're being played by Liam Neeson

[Jimbuna]

Originally Posted by Cybermat47

I'm shocked that ANYONE would read it, let alone make a movie

It is a three book trilogy..50 Shades of Grey, 5o Shades Darker and 50 Shades Freed.

Very popular in the UK last year and yes mrs buna read and enjoyed them as well.

[Jimbuna]

Originally Posted by Herr-Berbunch

Well I'm not one to boast, so I'll just leave a picture.

[CaptainHaplo]

The "kink" community has been dealing with the "fallout" from 50 shades for quite some time. People who think that the book reflects accurately on "the lifestyle" show up to munches and events with nary a clue.

Sadly, a book about a mentally ill millionaire who engages in kink as his own personal "therapy" - as told by the person he engages with - is simply not a good representation of the BDSM world.

Were the main "dom" character a real life person, I can tell you that I do not know of a community in the world that would be accepting of him as portrayed.

[Wolferz]

Originally Posted by Armistead

A toaster, you've got be kidding. I can't believe what some people do. How do you even fit it in a toaster?...a vacuum cleaner I could understand...

OK Doofy. You've cleaned enough for one day.

[STEED]

Originally Posted by Jimbuna

It is a three book trilogy..50 Shades of Grey, 5o Shades Darker and 50 Shades Freed.

Very popular in the UK last year and yes mrs buna read and enjoyed them as well.

Mrs buna "Not tonight jim I reading 50 shades..."
Jim "Woohoo no sex, here I come pub".

[Jimbuna]

Originally Posted by STEED

Mrs buna "Not tonight jim I reading 50 shades..."
Jim "Woohoo no sex, here I come pub".

Back into the man cave with another can

[GoldenRivet]

Originally Posted by CaptainHaplo

The "kink" community has been dealing with the "fallout" from 50 shades for quite some time. People who think that the book reflects accurately on "the lifestyle" show up to munches and events with nary a clue.

Sadly, a book about a mentally ill millionaire who engages in kink as his own personal "therapy" - as told by the person he engages with - is simply not a good representation of the BDSM world.

Were the main "dom" character a real life person, I can tell you that I do not know of a community in the world that would be accepting of him as portrayed.

^this

[Herr-Berbunch]

Originally Posted by Armistead

A toaster, you've got be kidding. I can't believe what some people do. How do you even fit it in a toaster?...a vacuum cleaner I could understand...

That's why I showed the toaster I did (NO! Not like that!) as it's more accommodating. I occasionally used to fix them, but I swear I never broke them!

[Penguin]

Looks like the radio station, just like many other media outlets blew a report from the London Fire Department out of proportion: http://www.london-fire.gov.uk/news/L...2807201320.asp
"I don’t know whether it’s the Fifty Shades effect, but the number of incidents involving items like handcuffs seems to have gone up."
Given the popularity of the book, this can indeed be a correlation, more people trying out bondage. The other incidents mentioned, like the toaster thingy, however can hardly be tied to the book. People stick their willys in objects, or objects into themselves, well, since there are objects - that's why emergency personnel are always fun at parties (the parties I attend don't have awful lots of surgeons)

Originally Posted by GoldenRivet

find someone who knows what the hell they are doing, or a group that knows the ins and outs of this sort of business and you learn the ropes.

Well I learned from a group that cable ties are not really a great device for tying limbs. Though it wasn't really consensual - we call this group of experts here 'Polizei' . It can get very ouchy when you are in a paddy wagon for half an hour...

I've read half of the first book, untill I got bored. Really nothing more than a modern Cinderella, girl-meets-prince tale, wrapped up with some kinky sex, also not of very high literary quality. The cable tie stuff however was mentioned in the book, and rang an "hell, no!" inner alarm. As far as I read they were not used, but it was hinted at using them to tie a body... - this was the only unsafe practice which struck my eye, no toasters mentioned.

[Cybermat47]

Originally Posted by Penguin

I've read half of the first book, untill I got bored. Really nothing more than a modern Cinderella, girl-meets-prince tale, wrapped up with some kinky sex, also not of very high literary quality.

Did I mention that it started out as Twilight fanfiction? That explains the crappy literary quality, and the high amount of sex


But I'll be honest, it sounds more interesting than Twilight.

But they both probably suck

[Platapus]

Originally Posted by CaptainHaplo

Sadly, a book about a mentally ill millionaire who engages in kink as his own personal "therapy" - as told by the person he engages with - is simply not a good representation of the BDSM world.

Were the main "dom" character a real life person, I can tell you that I do not know of a community in the world that would be accepting of him as portrayed.

In our workshops we spent a lot of time identifying the differences between fantasy fiction and reality of BDSM relationships. Erotic fiction is great. It helps people explore their fantasies and can give couples some very hot ideas. But I have never found any scene fiction come close to the complexities, depth, and frankly satisfaction of a real consensual BDSM relationship.

I think 50 shades was so popular was that it was marketed as "legitimate" fiction so that people did not feel uncomfortable buying it. Honestly, the writing was rather disappointing and anyone who had spent any time in the scene would recognize that this was actually one of the lower quality fiction out there.

But the good news is that BDSM is becoming more mainstream. If it helps one person feel more comfortable about their fantasies and can lead them to join a legitimate BDSM educational group, it is a win for the community.

What I fear is that there will be uneducated and inexperienced people who will read these books and try to implement them. That can be damaging not only physically but emotionally.

I swear! If the Wife brings that book in the house?
I'll tie her up and beat her with a soft whip, softly!

[CaptainHaplo]

Originally Posted by Platapus

But I have never found any scene fiction come close to the complexities, depth, and frankly satisfaction of a real consensual BDSM relationship.

THIS! No "scene" or "play" can substitute the reality of a relationship that takes time and effort to develop and build the trust that is necessary for an "s" to truly submit. One reason why I don't "Top" people or play with anyone outside of a relationship. No slam on those that do - but it just doesn't work for me.

But the good news is that BDSM is becoming more mainstream. If it helps one person feel more comfortable about their fantasies and can lead them to join a legitimate BDSM educational group, it is a win for the community.

And for the person! Finding serious people who are concerned about the important things - consent, safety, responsibility, growth - can keep new folks from getting in too deep too fast. We can help stop the "frenzy" that new folks tend to get into. People don't just jump into the deep end of a pool if they don't know how to swim - and they should apply the same learning process to D/s or S&M. Just to be clear - we should always be learning.

What I fear is that there will be uneducated and inexperienced people who will read these books and try to implement them. That can be damaging not only physically but emotionally.

And one real issue we have seen is a few so call "doms" who skimmed a few pages of 50 shades and determined that they can do anything they want to a sub provided they claim to be dominant. Well, someone can call themselves lordmasterdominantoftheuniverseTom but it just doesn't make it so.

If anyone has a serious interest in the life - or a curiosity about it and is willing to hear reality vs the aggrandized perception, I encourage you to reach out to your local community. If your not sure how to find your local community - feel free to PM myself or someone like Platapus for info on how to start looking and what to expect.

By all means - if you find an active community - attend a munch or 6 before you do anything else. Meet people in safe environments, watch how they interact in regular environments and see if they show a sense of maturity and responsibility in their actions before you "do" anything. Always place consent and safety at the forefront.

[Wolferz]

A Masochist exits a grocery store one day and immediately collides with a passing Sadist. The sadist apologizes profusely while helping the masochist pick up his scattered groceries.
"I didn't hurt you did I?" quizzed the sadist.

The masochist replies;" Just a little but it's OK. I'm a masochist and I enjoy pain" The sadist eyes his new victim with anticipation while telling the masochist that he's a sadist who enjoys doling out pain. The sadist invites the masochist to his home where he promptly ties the fellow up in a corner.
The masochist notices a display of whips on the wall and asks in a quivering anticipation; "Are you going to beat me with those?"

The sadist just grins broadly and replies; "No"