The Bilge - Page 22

Wolferz · 09-02-14, 12:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Armistead

it's not that i can't, it's that i don't care anymore with this phone. i find it easier not to cap, use punc, anything. maybe im just getting lazy. the wifes play button hardly works anymore either. we opened a grooming shop and kennel for her as a business not long ago and shes working 12 hour days, comes home bitchy and tired, but i enjoy having the den to myself until about 8.

Well, you do what you gotta do to keep the other half happy.

You could always cite, "This is what you wanted Honey." Then go sleep on the couch.

Mine went into panic mode right after we euthanized the dog and she's already gone and bought a replacement. Even though I suggested we take a nice long vacation from the care and feeding of a dog. We still have the damned cat after all! She chose a 6 week old Brittany Spaniel pup. It arrives this Saturday. Crap!

She even had the audacity to suggest not having this one spayed and breeding her.
I said; "Now you're pushing your luck."

Armistead · 09-02-14, 01:28 PM

Wolferz · 09-02-14, 01:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Armistead

What a bargain!
Cash, check or money order?

Armistead · 09-02-14, 02:16 PM

Wife says cash only and she comes with the deal, her dogs, bills, etc....Son is almost 18, so hopefully you'll only have to deal with him another 10 years

Wolferz · 09-02-14, 02:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Armistead

Wife says cash only and she comes with the deal, her dogs, bills, etc....Son is almost 18, so hopefully you'll only have to deal with him another 10 years

Only if you have a hefty payout on your life insurance.

I won't need to deal with your offspring, since I'll be spending at least ten years in the slammer, guarding my bunga.

Wife 2.0 still has one living at home. He just turned 34.

Maybe I'll try the two for one special. I even provided her with an out that she stabbed me in the back on and let the worthless goober come back.

Wolferz · 09-02-14, 03:49 PM

Buy her a butter churn. Hopefully she'll get the idea...eventually.

Armistead · 09-02-14, 04:36 PM

my wife thinks great sex makes up for everything.....like I'm that shallow...

Aktungbby · 09-02-14, 06:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wolferz

Well, you do what you gotta do to keep the other half happy.

WHA.....!!! HALF? you mean the other 7/8th ...don't you? I settled for food and getting to colonoscopy appointments on time...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Armistead

my wife thinks great sex makes up for everything.....like I'm that shallow...

OMG! As opposed to banal or mundane sex??? Man I learn so much just sitting at your knee..I pray you...enlighten me! I don't seem to have ever known the difference

Wolferz · 09-03-14, 05:16 AM

Can you really take sex advice from a guy nicknamed Nonads Blankshooter?

Jimbuna · 09-03-14, 05:59 AM

Biggest embarrassment is the day your wife informs you that your new pet name is Justin.

Wolferz · 09-03-14, 06:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jimbuna

Biggest embarrassment is the day your wife informs you that your new pet name is Justin.

It's better than Justout.

Especially when you realize she's not talking about Kosher beer.

Jimbuna · 09-03-14, 06:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wolferz

It's better than Justout.

Especially when you realize she's not talking about Kosher beer.

Or making reference to someone else

Wolferz · 09-03-14, 07:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jimbuna

Or making reference to someone else

Ohhh! The pain! Still, it could be worse. She might start making reference to Justine in her sleep.

I count myself fortunate that my 1.0 Shrew only cost me one Golden Penny to get rid of.

Keep the change, Bi.....err Butch.

Aktungbby · 09-03-14, 01:46 PM

Actually the recent earthquake was a blessing in disguise...It's the only time I've ever heard "Oh my God" in the boudoir

"And the earth shook"

timing is everything !

Wolferz · 09-03-14, 02:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aktungbby

Actually the recent earthquake was a blessing in disguise...It's the only time I've ever heard "Oh my God" in the boudoir

"And the earth shook"

timing is everything !

LOL

I've been called a deity many, many times.
It never involved a tectonic event though.

09-02-14, 01:28 PM	#317
Armistead Rear Admiral Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: on the Dan Posts: 10,880 Downloads: 364 Uploads: 0	__________________ You see my dog don't like people laughing. He gets the crazy idea you're laughing at him. Now if you apologize like I know you're going to, I might convince him that you really didn't mean it.

09-02-14, 02:16 PM	#319
Armistead Rear Admiral Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: on the Dan Posts: 10,880 Downloads: 364 Uploads: 0	Wife says cash only and she comes with the deal, her dogs, bills, etc....Son is almost 18, so hopefully you'll only have to deal with him another 10 years __________________ You see my dog don't like people laughing. He gets the crazy idea you're laughing at him. Now if you apologize like I know you're going to, I might convince him that you really didn't mean it.

09-02-14, 03:49 PM	#321
Wolferz Navy Seal Join Date: May 2007 Location: On a mighty quest for the Stick of Truth Posts: 5,963 Downloads: 52 Uploads: 0	Here's an idea for you, Armistead... Buy her a butter churn. Hopefully she'll get the idea...eventually. __________________ Tomorrow never comes

09-02-14, 04:36 PM	#322
Armistead Rear Admiral Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: on the Dan Posts: 10,880 Downloads: 364 Uploads: 0	my wife thinks great sex makes up for everything.....like I'm that shallow... __________________ You see my dog don't like people laughing. He gets the crazy idea you're laughing at him. Now if you apologize like I know you're going to, I might convince him that you really didn't mean it.

09-03-14, 05:16 AM	#324
Wolferz Navy Seal Join Date: May 2007 Location: On a mighty quest for the Stick of Truth Posts: 5,963 Downloads: 52 Uploads: 0	Running on empty... Can you really take sex advice from a guy nicknamed Nonads Blankshooter? __________________ Tomorrow never comes

09-03-14, 05:59 AM	#325
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,561 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Biggest embarrassment is the day your wife informs you that your new pet name is Justin. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

09-03-14, 01:46 PM	#329
Aktungbby Gefallen Engel U-666 Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: On a tilted, overheated, overpopulated spinning mudball on Collision course with Andromeda Galaxy Posts: 30,017 Downloads: 24 Uploads: 0	Actually the recent earthquake was a blessing in disguise...It's the only time I've ever heard "Oh my God" in the boudoir "And the earth shook" timing is everything ! __________________ "Only two things are infinite; The Universe and human squirrelyness?!!