The Bilge

[Armistead]

Originally Posted by Tango589

I thought a certain truculence would help me fit in better. My bad.

FYI, no handshake I came up with would ever involve dropped trousers and waggled wangers, but who an I to judge?

Well, to be a full member with benefits, we do have certain rituals to go through.....It weeds out misfits and builds trust...

[Armistead]

I found the original Ubirat membership, details and other stuff from a few years ago...

Just thought it would be helpful...

Chairman - Armistead

President - Wolferz
Vice President - Werner Von Trapp {AWOL}
Treasurer - MWolfe1963 {AKA Armistead}
Director of Alcohol - Cmdrmoose
Chief Quality Officer {hires hookers/booze tester} Swamprat69
Director of Pubic Affairs - Blowtanks
Dept of Heads {head cleaner} Fireftr18
Director of Marketing - {speeches and spellchecking} -paulhager
Director of Trash - nohunt
Head of Security -{Chairman's Guard} captgeo
Director of Coffee Pot/Pinup Model RatGirl/Nurse/Laundry - donna577

Members in Good Standing
Celeon999
Yooper
Tambor
Loulouis

Members Standing
cgkstealth

Members Sitting {poor standing}
Andypandy
denis4510
Oldfart
merc4ulfate
Bigdog
bubblehead

Honorary Members
{Neal }

Ubirat HALL OF FAME
{None Yet}

{I found our first meeting minutes}

02/31/2012

Come to order
Everyone give the secret handshake
ouch
ouch
ouch
AHHhhh
I can't
Yessss...
Enough with the secret handshake...
AWWW
Dern...
hiccup
Who farted
Anyone got anything to say
Bite me
bring in the girls
We need to order toilet paper
wirebrush works
Use your hand like always

ORDER ORDER!

order what
Beer
Girls
toilet paper

ANYTHING IMPORTANT

Fireftr has a strange rash on his nads
How do you know?
I vote we conclude the meeting {Fireftr18}
Me too
Yea
Burp
Meeting adjourned..

[Wolferz]

From left to right... MWolfe, Wernher, firefiter18.

Talk about your three blind rats!
I would've been in the shot but, somebody had to take the picture and we couldn't afford a professional photographer.

I don't remember who came up with that secret handshake.
{selective memory loss from a stroke} instead of a shake.

It may have had something to do with the hookers...


and the mickies Swamprat was putting in our beer.

C'mon in Steed. We like fellows with down under accents.

If'n you don't perform the secret handshake Mister Tango, well, I don't blame you. Armistead gets all touchy feely and wants to man hug everybody when we greet new members. Just smack him with a rolled up newspaper or stuff a pretzel in his mouth and he'll calm down. {low blood sugar I think}
Truculence That's aggressively brutal of you to say.

Step back FF, it's my axe now and we need the fire wood.

[Tango589]

Alright, it sounds like a laugh with the beer, scallywags, ner-do-wells and secret handshake. I want in and promise not to vomit in the pot plants too often.

[Wolferz]

Originally Posted by Tango589

Alright, it sounds like a laugh with the beer, scallywags, ner-do-wells and secret handshake. I want in and promise not to vomit in the pot plants too often.

Done deal!
That'll be $118.14 {cash} for the first month of membership.
Are you any good at bleaching out blood stains? There was an unfortunate accident with a hooker, an axe and the coffee pot in my office. The less said the better.

Armistead, we have petty cash now! Get bleach!

That's enough with the secret handshake. The hooker is a recovering voyeur.

[Jimbuna]

You keep an eye on the aft hatch Steve and I'll do my usual and charge in through the conning tower.

[Wolferz]

Who called the johndarms...err seandarms...err the coppers?

It's ok if you boys in blue stay. We need someone to protect the coffee can, uhhh treasury. That Tango guy looks a little shifty. Can I get you fellas to run some background checks? Truculent people make me nervous and poor Armistead gets apoplectic because he doesn't handle brutal criticism well.{I reference his stint as a Broadway producer} Another trip to the sanitarium would not be good.

By the way, "worthwhile" is one word, not two.

Apologies vanjast. I'm a spelling Nazi.

Don't say anything about my girlfriends.
There's only one thing that would make them look better...
Drivers licenses issued in 2018.

PS:
Those aren't sticks, they are personal pleasure devices. Just ask Armistead. Those things have been in his aft hatch numerous times. The Gerbils were becoming expensive and PETA was sniffing around.

[Armistead]

Originally Posted by Jimbuna

You keep an eye on the aft hatch Steve and I'll do my usual and charge in through the conning tower.

Someone grease the ladder rungs fore and aft...

This is not a revolution this time, we simply have dwindled in numbers due to mismanagement by a president that leads from the rear.. We're just trying to expose ourselves to others that might not know about the bilge.

....but with Steve aft and you fore to watch us, we know our fates are in each others hands....

[Eichhörnchen]

Happy New Year from The Bilge... just cling on for as long as you can

[Aktungbby]

SOME OF US CELEBRATED A LITTLE TOO MUCH.........

[vanjast]

Originally Posted by Wolferz

Blind hookers... NICE! makes it more that worth while ...and they seem good with the long range 'hand shaking' - practicing their range techniques with those sticks

[Titanicgeek]

Originally Posted by Wolferz

From left to right... MWolfe, Wernher, firefiter18.

Talk about your three blind rats!
I would've been in the shot but, somebody had to take the picture and we couldn't afford a professional photographer.

I don't remember who came up with that secret handshake.
{selective memory loss from a stroke} instead of a shake.

It may have had something to do with the hookers...


and the mickies Swamprat was putting in our beer.

C'mon in Steed. We like fellows with down under accents.

If'n you don't perform the secret handshake Mister Tango, well, I don't blame you. Armistead gets all touchy feely and wants to man hug everybody when we greet new members. Just smack him with a rolled up newspaper or stuff a pretzel in his mouth and he'll calm down. {low blood sugar I think}
Truculence That's aggressively brutal of you to say.

Step back FF, it's my axe now and we need the fire wood.

LOL first picture!

[Wolferz]

Originally Posted by Titanicgeek

LOL first picture!

Say, weren't you the Steersman for the Titanic?

Boy! When the captain asked for ice, you took it way too literal!

[Aktungbby]

Fellow bilge rats: BAD NEWS-THIS AM! My computer was hacked sometime during the night. Nothing serious so far, but it seems my previously insensitive vituperations have attracted the close attention of 'fatboy of the wasteland'. Our government seems incapable of even a token cyberdefense! Therefore, To make amends and save from further cyber-attacks, I have taken it upon myself-as the BILGE'S Foreign Minister-to nominate a new Bilgerat Emeritus as a golden-palm token of good will, amity, toadying sycophancy and conciliatory deference in the spirit of Christmas! I mean, if Obama can recognize CUBA how can we of the BILGE lag behind!!! Lord knows he's got the right toys...oops gotta go- George Cloony's on the line! You keep your friends close but your fatboys even closer!

[Tango589]

Originally Posted by Aktungbby

I have taken it upon myself-as the BILGE'S Foreign Minister-to nominate a new Bilgerat Emeritus as a golden-palm token of good will, amity, toadying sycophancy and conciliatory deference in the spirit of Christmas!

What will this International Brown-Nosing involve?