Being Romantic

[Armistead]

Originally Posted by Wolferz

Try this with your woman, Armistead...

Lay three pennies on the table with Lincoln facing up and ask her three questions as follows...
1. Do you see any cars there?
No? Three Lincolns.
2. Do you see any snakes there?
No? Three Copperheads.
3. Do you see any sex there?

No and you won't either for three measly cents.

Then you ask what she would do for a quarter. Followed closely with a big ol' Bugs Bunny kiss.

I tried that....she put her clothes back on and walked out......thanks for the tip..

Originally Posted by HW3

Having watched my Mom & Dad together over the years, before they both passed, it is the little things that make the difference.

I agree, I do as little as I can with her.....

Originally Posted by Platapus

Then, simply you are doing it wrong. Don't confuse being romantic with the actions of demonstrating romance. There may be specific ways of demonstrating romance that you don't like. Then you don't have to do them. Find other ways of demonstrating romance that don't make you feel silly.



First suggestion is to get rid of that attitude. Romance has zero to do with logic. Who needs romance at your age? Well for one, your wife does. And to an extent larger than you may realize, you need it.

Romance is like a fungus, it grows upon itself. OK, maybe that was not the optimum visual but you get the idea.

Romance is simply the plan to remove the following from a relationship.

1. Feeling being taken for granted. Protip: Whether you do or do not take your wife for granted has absolutely nothing to do with this. It is completely irrelevant and immaterial as they say on TV. The only thing that matters is whether your wife feels that you are taking her for granted.

Implementation: Thank her for stuff that she really should not need to be thanked for. Express appreciation for her doing "what is expected". Show gratitude for the ordinary.

2. Feeling like the "conquest" is over. Do you find your wife still attractive enough to pursue her if you were not already married. Hint: The answer is yes. You know it. You need to let her know it... and not just when you want a piece. Show her, in no uncertain terms, that you would prefer being around her more than being around any other woman.

Implementation: Touching. The Womenfolk dig and like touching. Not just grabbing a handful of goodies. Just a light touch on the arm/hand when you are out in public. As a guy who is naturally not a touchy guy, it took me a long time to learn this. Look at her. Look at her as if you are a guy looking at the woman he loves (which you is). Not a pervy look. A look that shows her that you are looking at her as a person.

Your wife, after 18 years, knows you. Knows you pretty well. Already knows that you have difficulties expressing romance. Don't try to fool her. If you were to suddenly start waxing poetically with arms of flowers, she would know it was contrived. The key to expressing romance is small and often. Be sincere. If you can fake that you got it made.

It is not the diamond rings or the cruise vacation. Those are nice. It is not the Roses on Valentines day or the expensive jewelry on her birthday. Those are anticipated. Its the little things that you do; not because of a date on a calender, but the things you do because every day with her is a special day.

Every day with her is a special day.


The best part about romance is that no one other than your wife would be aware of it. So there is no need to feel silly. Nothing I suggested requires anything to be purchased. In my opinion, romance and buying stuff don't really go together.

You wife wants to feel connected to you. Not just sexually, but intellectually, emotionally, economically, (add a few dozen more similar words). Your wife completes you and that's a pretty nice thing she does.

Let her know that you know that she knows... wait. You want her to know that you know that she knows.. damn. Just fricking tell her!!

You do have one advantage. You are a man. Society and your wife set some incredibly low standards when it comes to romance. This is one aspect of life where you get credit just for trying. Some may say that in romance it is ONLY that you are trying that matters.

In a woman's heart, there is nothing larger than the small stuff. Nothing is more important to hear that that which does not need to be said.

Good luck with it. I am also approaching 18 years with The Frau. I have been in your shoes (BTW wash your socks once in a while huh). I have made a lot of mistakes and actually done some good things romance wise. But I try. I keep trying. And for some odd reason, that seems enough to her.

Geesh....and good advice......Overall my wife is very attractive for her age. On a serious note, I've never complained about her looks, growing older, etc...

I once wrote this for her

Beauty Marks

-----------------------------------

Lately as we age, you're bothered by what you think I see
how children, stress and time have changed you

You often now hide behind towels, doors and darkness

Do I see the yearly changes, well, yes I do

but I have never complained
you know this to be true
but I think they bother you

You need to know these things hardly show

but tell a story of your love

You were so small when he came, the son that you gave me
marks left from a battle won, they told you not to do it
you struggled, in so much pain

the constant worry of life as we all grew older

These things that make you feel ugly, my fingers love to tease
all reminders to me of your love for us.

I will kiss and caress them.

don't hide them from me

I wonder if you even notice all the bumps and touches everyday
They may seem accidental touches in passing

they're not

I'm just saying this......

Sure, I enjoy when you look your best
but I enjoy you just as much as you are

You don't have to get up to cut the light off.
Please feel free to drop the towel at the door.
I like when you wear only t-shirts and socks.
I like your hair pulled over your brow....I always have.
When you bend over at the dryer...I'm looking.
When you're in the tub, my eyes look in the mirror for reflection.

If you really want to appear beautiful to me, expose yourself
I promise you, the more exposed you are, the more beautiful you become.

Never hide your beauty marks from me.

You're more beautiful now than ever..........


Cheesy as it is, it made her cry and boy did I get some good loving...

[Platapus]

Originally Posted by Armistead

Overall my wife is very attractive for her age.

I do not profess a complete knowledge of the English Language, but I am pretty confident that there is simply no way one can compliment a woman if the phrase "for her age" is included.

[Armistead]

Originally Posted by Platapus

I do not profess a complete knowledge of the English Language, but I am pretty confident that there is simply no way one can compliment a woman if the phrase "for her age" is included.

It's called factual honesty....We both know and admit we don't look as good as we did when we were 25.....As you get older, you accept your body changes and outer beauty fades.....

[Platapus]

Originally Posted by Armistead

It's called factual honesty

Combining "factual honesty" and "romance" I believe is the definition of Mutual Exclusivity.

Romance is looking beyond factual honesty and delving into emotional honesty.

[Armistead]

Originally Posted by Platapus

Combining "factual honesty" and "romance" I believe is the definition of Mutual Exclusivity.

Romance is looking beyond factual honesty and delving into emotional honesty.

depends on how vain your wife is.....my wife was model when we met and she always made be honest about her looks and clothes.....still am and she appreciates it..

but of course I say she looks beautiful........cuz she is..