Game: Crush Each Other's Dreams II

[Onkel Neal]

Game: Crush Each Other's Dreams II

carry on....

granted, truman, eisenhower, clinton, reagan, and all i forgot have officially patted you on the back for wishing for the destruction of communism, now, russia's economy merged with the USA's and the world economy is now crumbling in upon itself..

I wish economic doomsdays were more prevalent
(because that is a very popular word here)

[Raptor1]

Granted, but they're not nearly as fun as real doomsdays

I wish Neal didn't have to close the other thread...

[bookworm_020]

Granted, you just get a sequel!

I wish I could just start driving trains without having to learn about electrical and air systems!

[TarJak]

Granted, you do but then cause a massive pile up at peak hour in the City Circle.

I wish bookworm had learnt about his train's electical and air systems.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but he forgot to learn about the self-destruct button and why you shouldn't press it at random

I wish trains didn't have self-destruct buttons

[Jimbuna]

Granted, they are now fitted with self-destruct switches instead.

I wish time was of the essence.

[TarJak]

Granted, it is now the time of vanilla essence. Try a drop with your next tot of rum.

I wish I had a tot of rum with Jimbuna

[Freiwillige]

Granted, But your both totally nude floating in the English channel on a dingy.



I wish I never thought of that

[HunterICX]

I wish I never thought of that

Granted, but you are witnessing it without the ability to look away.

I wish the current won't drift them to the strait of gibraltar

HunterICX

[Raptor1]

Granted, it drifts them to the Mariana Trench

I wish they won't suddenly lose buoyancy right over the Mariana Trench

[Rockstar]

Granted, they lose the bottle of rum instead.

I wish someone would airdrop sun screen and a paddle to those two naked fellows Jim and Tar.

.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but he is flying in a Fi 156 and doesn't have nearly enough fuel to get back, so he must join them over the Mariana Trench

I wish someone would rescue them already

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, the FB across from Jimbo rescues them, adopts them (along with half of the population of GT) and changes her name to Angelina Jolie-FatBiatch and they live happily ever after

I wish not to be one of the adopted ones

[Jimbuna]

Granted, you are joined to her hip as a result of a surgical operation instead.

I wish I knew why other people smell.

[geetrue]

I wish I knew why other people smell.

Granted, but after 90 days of research on a Chinese FBM submarine you still have no clue ... all you want to do is get off that darn thing.

I wish I had a swimning pool with fresh water only

[Mush Martin]

Granted but your new address is antartica

I wish I had more time for lunch.

[Raptor1]

Granted, you have more time to be hungry until lunch

I wish flaming berserkers were let loose in the streets, PANIC! PANIC!

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but they're all heading for your house.

I wish the inquisitive became the enlightened.

[Raptor1]

Granted, the inquisitive inquisitors of the inquisition are now enlightened to new methods of conducting their trade

I wish that wasn't too complicated to the simple minds of the simpletons

[Fr8monkey]

Granted... You are now a simpleton.

I wish I had a fully interactive, 3d virtual game of Silent hunter III.

[Mush Martin]

Granted you are drafted into the french navy.

I wish Not to offend our french brothers.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but since you cannot possibly have any French brothers without yourself being French, your wish effects nobody

I wish the term 'brother' was used less freely

[Freiwillige]

Granted, But the only way to do that is to join the other two lads and be sent back out on the dingy!





I wish somebody doesnt put me near a naked Jimbuna, The Ocean or a dingy.

[Raptor1]

Granted, you are relocated to the southern Urals, where you are now far away from Jimbuna, the Ocean and a dinghy

I wish I understood Freiwillige's crush

(Yes, I'll stop crushing every second wish, sorry)

[NealT]

You do, but the weight of the horror of what he meant overwhelms you causing you to play "Joe vs the Volcano" except that this time, there is no Meg Ryan to jump with you and the volcano does not spit you out.

I wish Meg were here right now, in real life, alive, breathing, smellin good, looking good, and sans clothing...

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, Meg is here right now, in real life, alive, breathing, smellin good, looking good, and sans clothing..., but the wish granting fairy heard you wrong and you got Meg the pig here right now, in real life, alive, breathing, smellin good, looking good, and sans clothing...

I wish to rid my mind of such evil thoughts

[Freiwillige]

Granted, Now your mind can only be filled with the Sesame Street theme song playing at full volume in your head 20 hours a day with that four hour break split into 15 minute intervals spread equally throughout the day as a reminder of what sanity was like before it kicks in again only driving you more insane!



I wish the cookie monster would eat all them communist propaganda tools over at Comrade Marx's Sesame Street.:rotfl:

[Raptor1]

Granted, but the Cookie Monster is consumed from the inside by the Marxist propaganda and becomes the People's Democratic Cookie Monster

I wish Marxists ceased to exist

[Freiwillige]

Granted, but you are now living in Germany during 1942. As the price you pay for being Marxist free is being drafted into the Wehrmacht and sent to the Russian front just in time to get trapped inside Stalingrad battling the Marxists!:salute:





I wish Raptor 1 survives Stalingrad!

[TarJak]

Granted, he survives Stalingrad only to be killed in Carentan in 1944.

I wish Japan would just give up.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but it is to the conquering Soviet armies, Japan ends up as the greatest Marxist stronghold in the Pacific

I wish there was no impending counteroffensive

[NealT]

Granted, there is absolutely nothing to counter the offensive and obnoxious presence of one, DT.

I wish to see a good movie...

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you get to see a good movie, but it's in an adult theater and you are surrounded by Gary Glitter, PeeWee Herman, Michael Jackson and Boy George

I wish NealT hadn't gone to the movies

[Mush Martin]

Granted Neal and his four buddies move into your couch.


I wish I were an oscar mayer wiener:up:

[NealT]

Granted, but unfortunately DT turns his microwave on for 10 minutes instead of 1 minute and you explode all over the inside of the microwave.

I wish Alyssa Milano were in that good movie I got to watch...along with Kate Beckinsale...

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, Alyssa Milano was in that good movie you got to watch...along with Kate Beckinsale..., but you forgot to take off your sunglasses and floppy fishing hat (out of fear of being seen in the company of the previously mentioned unsavory characters) and you didn't get to see any of the movie

I wish I wasn't such a klutz when setting the microwave timer

[Fr8monkey]

Granted. But you forgot and left a piece of aluminum foil in the microwave and caused a wormhole that put you in a dimention run by giant carniverous insects.

I wish I didn't have to go to my next class.

[Raptor1]

Granted, you have to go to the one after it, right now

I wish right now was just later

[TarJak]

Granted, but the time vortex you just created has swallowed you whole.

I wish Raptor1 could return from the vortex unharmed and ready to wreak havoc in Japan.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, he is unharmed but also unarmed (limbless).

I wish establishing a fact took more effort.

[Raptor1]

Granted, it takes a much harder effort to establish the fact of the guilt of your murder, enough for him to get away to live happily ever after

I wish we had more hidden strikes

[NealT]

Granted, that is why you never see the black adder that bites you on the leg causing you to keel over dead just before you learn that your number has come in and you have won the first ever world lottery with a prize of $110,239,825,105 paid in cash immediately so the money goes back into the hands of the rich who donated it.

I wish crushing dreams were not so amusing...

[Jimbuna]

Granted, it is now hilarious.

I wish opposing poles would attract.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, opposing poles do attract, telephone poles, one on your left and one on your right are now really attracted to each other and crush you in their haste to join each other

I wish JB had seen that one coming

[geetrue]

Granted, opposing poles do attract, telephone poles, one on your left and one on your right are now really attracted to each other and crush you in their haste to join each other

I wish JB had seen that one coming

Oh, but JB did see it coming and had a special car prepared for his departure (see picture)



http://www.joe-ks.com/archives_jun2007/CoffinDragster.jpg

I wish I still had my old Shelby GT-350 purchased for $2,600 in 1966 and now worth over $65,000

[UnderseaLcpl]

I wish I still had my old Shelby GT-350 purchased for $2,600 in 1966 and now worth over $65,000

Granted but it is stolen by joyriding teens who promptly crash it into your domicile by accident before making a clean getaway.

I wish that all people were left-handed, like me.:DL

[NealT]

Granted they are...everyone has two left hands, but glove manfacturers are only making right handed gloves, so your hands freeze up, fall off, and no one is able to type anymore. No more code for computer programs, no more games, no more internet...and since you cannot fire your rifle/shotgun - the lions and tigers eat everyone up returning the world to a less technological age...

I wish the internet were faster...

[Sledgehammer427]

granted, the internet is faster, but since everyone is downloading stuff, the internet is as slow as it usually is

I wish DISH internet didnt have download-cutoff limits

[Freiwillige]

Granted, the internet is now faster. So fast in fact that when ever you log onto the net the entire internet flashes acoss your screen in .5 seconds causing your screen to explode , your proccesor to melt and your hard drive to catch fire!


I wish somebody could make a friggen decent wwII armor simulation (How hard can it be!)

[TarJak]

Granted, they do but it never gets to market because the suits say the market of one (you) is not enough to recoup the development costs and it therefore sits on the developers hard drive never to see the light of day

I wish I had more time for crushing dreams

[Etienne]

I wish I had more time for crushing dreams

Granted. You lose your job.

I wish I *had* a job.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but in your desperate attempts to have had a job in the past, you accidentally sign a contract that forces you to keep having a job in the present

I wish the end was not as night as it used to be

[Jimbuna]

Granted, it is now day as it shouldn't be.

I wish to experience a flight of fancy.

[Freiwillige]

Granted, You end up in an alternative lifestyle bar where all the boys Fancy you and you take flight!




I wish I was there to see that.

[bookworm_020]

Granted, but you were the one that jimbuna was running from.

I wish I was more constructive...

[Freiwillige]

Granted, You construct a 1/100 scale model of the Eifel tower out of drinking straws. Your obsesion costs you your job, family, residance and sanity. Just as you are about to finish your detailed masterpeice the wind destroys it.







I wish i had a 4x4 lifted Chevy.

[Sledgehammer427]

granted, but now you need an elevator and a stimulus check to even drive it.

i wish my car was less squeaky when it got cold outside

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, your car is less squeaky when it's cold outside, but now it's more cold inside when it's squeaky outside

I wish I knew what I was talking about

[Jimbuna]

Granted, you now realise you were talking about yourself.

I wish one size would fit all.

[NealT]

Granted, one size now fits all...but unfortunately the BFB that you sit across from won't fit into it so she now works naked right in front of you all day long causing you to become violently ill and unable to perform when your girlfriend/spouse wishes for you to.

I wish I could get that picture out of my head...

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you get that picture out of your head, but it is now in front of your eyes, permanently, causing you irreparable psychological damage and you change your name to Supercalafragalisticexpialadocious and sing the theme song to The Sound of Music endlessly while dancing around in Bertha Butt's size 3,548,183,576,284XXXXXXXXXXXX bloomers

I wish Nazi Zombies weren't such a pain in the arse region

[Jimbuna]

Granted, they're a pain in the groin region.

I wish your groin the best of luck.

[TarJak]

Granted, the pain and Nazi zombies move from DT's groin region and your nether regions are now infested with Nazi zombies causing you excruciating pain in the goolies region

I wish Jim good luck with his Nazi zombie pain

[Jimbuna]

Granted, the pain and Nazi zombies move from DT's groin region and your nether regions are now infested with Nazi zombies causing you excruciating pain in the goolies region

I wish Jim good luck with his Nazi zombie pain

Granted, may your zombie pain be passed on to your living pain.

I wish things had turned out as planned this evening.

Signed...totally pi$$ed off.

[Freiwillige]

Granted, Things turnd out exactly as planned this evening; For Al-Qa'ida! Who promptly drove a bus thru your house and machine gunned all your neighbors.






I wish the Taliban were hippies

[Sledgehammer427]

granted, their hookah usage has skyrocketed, and they invited the coalition to join in... now the entirety of the middle east is full of stoners


i wish the middle east would calm down...i mean really

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, the Middle East calms down, so calm, in fact, that they can't produce any oil to speak of and we all have to walk to work now

I wish I could think of a good wish

[Rockstar]

Granted, and I appreciate the 4000.00 monthly check you will be sending me.


I wish DT will find a job that can support this good wish.

.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, his 'rent a boy' job is bringing in big money.

I wish that demons wore denims.

[TarJak]

Granted, the divil is in your jeans right now

I wish I didn't have to work on a Sunday

[Raptor1]

Granted, you have to work twice as many hours on Monday

I wish shell was pronounced Jarmin and spelled Pizza

[NealT]

Granted, you now get cotton mouth from eating macaroni and pizza (shells).

I wish I could stay at home tonight...

[Sledgehammer427]

granted, you stay home tonight and every night after, after holding out for two weeks without food, you resort to eating the insulation (the texture is uncannily like cotton candy...)

I hope NealT doesnt get cotton mouth eating that insulation

[Rockstar]

Granted, instead he is bitten by a Cotton Mouth hiding in the insulation.

I wish there is a doctor in the house.


.

[Freiwillige]

Granted, there is a doctor in the "House"....episode on T.V.

He plays a doctor for pretend and so cant help.





I wish I had all the answers

[Task Force]

granted. all the awnsers to the mysterys of horse crap.

I wish for things to stop being overrated.

[Raptor1]

Granting your wish, is thoroughly overrated

I wish Task Force had some sense before asking for the impossible

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but it is merely nonsense.

I wish for a pleasant meeting with the crew on TS tonight.

[Raptor1]

Granted, you have a pleasant meeting with the Wrecking Crew on That Street tonight, but pleasant for whom?

I wish Jimbuna had his trustworthy rocket boots with him in order to flee the scene

[NealT]

He did, but they malfunction and he runs into you. The police determine that since you are with him, you are just as guilty and the two of you spend your natural lives in the dungeon of the Tower of London...

I wish everyone had a dungeon...

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but yours has also got a dragon in it.

I wish I was a good samaritan.

[NealT]

Granted, you were a good smaritan until the race died out of a plague they got because they went into a war ravaged country and caught a biological virus which wiped them out...

I wish the weather were nicer...

[Raptor1]

Granted, it is, but it really depends on what your definition of 'nicer' is

I wish the weather fit more to NealT's definition...where he lives...and that tempratures would drop below 10 Celsius here...

[TarJak]

Granted, the weather is colder than a witches whatsit and you don;t have a heating or a coat.

I wish a pestilence on financial mismanagment.

[NealT]

Granted and now your finances are all messed up.

I wish weather were 69 degrees Farenheight all year long.

[Rockstar]

Granted, and thanks, but unfortunetly where you are at it's still 102 degrees in the shade, which incidently Jimbuna's oversized arse is providing. You might want to try too moving from 2 meters below him to several hundred yards up wind.


I wish NealT is wearing a gas mask


.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, NealT is wearing a gas mask, but since it's not Class A bio-hazmat rated, it doesn't do any good against the bio-hazard known as Jimbuna's arse

I wish nonsense made more cents

[ubootcomrade]

Granted, now every village idiot is a millionaire.


I wish the Prussian army would invade later so I can have a nap.

[Raptor1]

Granted, the Prussian army invades later...while you are napping, repeated attempts to wake you fail as Wilhelm's armies march towards Ubootcomradegrad, the city eventually falls and Wilhelm proclaims himself Emperor of Germany, how crazy is that?

I wish Ubootcomrade would wake up in time to see his country collapse

[NealT]

Granted and he watched it collapse right upon you...whereby he promptly fell asleep again never to wake up.

I wish Rockstar and DT would change JB's diaper once in a while...

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but they dress you in the soiled ones.

I wish you wouldn't keep pestering me for a suck of my 'dummy'.

[NealT]

Granted, but that is only because DT, TJ, Raptor, and the others have sucked it dry...

I wish I underood this new software that Neal had installed...

[TarJak]

Granted, you understand it completely, however lose the power of language and are now unable to communicate your new found knowledge to anyone else

I wish I could have it all now

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you now understand this new software that Neal had installed, but in the understanding process, you got sucked into the server and are now racing around in circles in a light-cycle trying to avoid, ooops, splat:damn:


Arrrrrrrrrrrrrg, granted, you have it all now, all of Jimbo's used diaper that is

I wish the baby would wake up and want to play "watch the ceiling fan spin"

[Raptor1]

Granted, you have it all now, but you won't have anything in a couple of minutes

I wish TarJak had at least retained his fancy tie-thing in a few minutes

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but your wife witnesses the event and leaves you in disgust....for good.

I wish I knew the true reason why.

Edit....we all posted at the same time.

[Rockstar]

Granted, but soon as you realize the true reason why you soil yourself again and go insane.


I wish DT gets used to changing jimbuna's diapers for the rest of his life.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, DT gets used to changing Jimbunas diapers for the rest of his life, which ended 5 minutes ago

I wish I knew whose life just ended:hmmm:

[Task Force]

Granted, You find out that it is you.

I wish jimbunas life hadent ended 5 minutes ago so DT can contenue to change his diapers.

[NealT]

Granted it didn't...but he gets confused after his stroke and starts to change your diapers instead.

I wish I hadn't started this diaper minithread...

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you never started this diaper minithread, you started one about enemas instead

I wish bodily functions were more functional

[Raptor1]

Granted, but that doesn't make them any more appealing

I wish encircled German regiments would surrender without me having to commit valuable troops for days to finish them off

[TarJak]

Granted, but you now have to commit valuable troops capturing and imprisoning the surrendered enemies for days

I wish words had more meaning

[Rockstar]

Granted, but only to you as the rest of us still don't care about their meaning


I wish Raptor1 would lead his regiment with full packs and gear off a 1000 foot high cliff impaling themselves on pungee sticks and never heard from again



.

[Raptor1]

Granted, my regiment goes off the 1000ft cliff in gliders and lands right in the middle of your camp while 2 of my divisions assault you from different directions, your defenses are soon overrun and eliminated

I wish that was more unnecessarily cruel

[Jimbuna]

Granted, it is absolutely evil.

I wish my mind was made up.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, your mind is more made up, made up to look like Boy George

I wish I had a picture

[Jimbuna]

Granted, you now have a picture of Boy George on your bedside table....you can cuddle it in your sleep every night.

I wish you luck in your 'sweet dreams' :DL

[Fr8monkey]

Granted... But you are the focus of those sweet dreams!

I wish I had a monkey smiley to use.

[Task Force]

Granted. but It soon swings away.

I wish my gum still had flavor.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, your gum still has flavor, it tastes just like monkey poo

I wish someone would get the monkey off of this threads back

[NealT]

Granted, it is off the thread and on your back now...

I wish I could get the thought of diapers out of my head...

[Rockstar]

Granted, now poo poo diapers are ON your head.


I wish FR8monkey would send his monkey minions to help NealT wash the diapers on his head.

[TarJak]

Granted, the monkey minions fly off to help but then you know monkeys and poo....

I wish I could get the image of Fr8monkey's monkey minions flinging poo filled diapers at Rockstar and NealT, out of my head.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, you now have them on DVD.

I wish it was time to shove off.

[Raptor1]

Granted, time to shove those silly prisoners off the cliff

I wish Jimbuna followed the Geneva Conventions

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, Jimbuna followed the Geneva Conventions conventioners, right into the alternate lifestyle monkey bar leading up to a drunken poo flinging by all (including the fat biatch across the desk)

I wish the stupid neighbors stupid cat hadn't adopted us (again) at 5AM :yawn:

[Mush Martin]

Granted the neighbors ferret colony adopts you instead at 4:00 am.

I wish I had a camera

[Jimbuna]

Granted, you now have a television camera from the local tv studio and the local constabulary are on their way to question you about how it came to be in your possession.

I wish I could be involved in the interview/interrogation/inquisition.

[Mush Martin]

( :o oh I wasnt expecting that.....of course no one does really do they?)

Granted but in consequence you are the officer designated to take dictation
from me while I answer the question why did I do it.

(vell you zee it all ztarted ven I vas a small boy )

I wish jimbuna wasnt expecting the inquisition either.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, Jimbo wasn't expecting the inquisition either and once he was 5 minutes into the tale of your childhood, he fell asleep, allowing you to walk away, which you didn't realize was tantamount to a prison escape, causing you to be tried for numerous trumped-up charges, sentenced to to a thousand years in jail and to become cell-mates with that Fritzi guy while Jimbo is stripped of all rank and forced to become a prison guard and makes a fortune selling films of your nightly escapades

I wish it was freakin' dinner time already

[TarJak]

Granted, its just plain boring old dinner time instead of "freakin" dinner time. Much calmer and nicer, until you find the razor blades implated in your steak by chewing on them.

I wish that crush was less freakin horrible

[Mush Martin]

Granted but the little ray of sunshine I am sending you :sunny:
has been turned into a James Bond like solar laser castrator weapon
by a diabolically diabolical Solar Laser Castrater device disguised as a
solar power plant and operated by Edward James Olmos (in the absence
of the late Ricardo Montobaun.) from an unamed and uncharted Island purchased
from the chinese government and located somewhere in
DT's Crapper. of course unfortunately the castrator table is just outside the
lab with no roof so ... meet D.T.


I wish crush wasnt so smelly and full of screaming.:cool:

[Jimbuna]

Granted, it now eminates sweet serenades recorded whilst you were in the prison shower playing with the soap.

I wish that soap was scented.

[TarJak]

Granted, however it is now scented with something unpleasant because you dropped it in the prison shower you were sharing with a 300lb lifer inmate with a predeliction for northern policemen. On asking the question "Where's the soap?" you got the age old answer, "Yes it does!"

I wish Jim and his lifer inmate friend all the best.

[NealT]

Granted, they have all of the best when they learn that you have been sent to their location for making fake bars of soap with skunk scent..at least for the next 20 years anyway...

I wish more people would respond to polls...

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but they are never politicians.

I wish Guy Fawkes had been successful.

[TarJak]

Granted, the 400 odd years since have been a tumult of religious civil war in Britain resulting in its subsumption by the French in 1804. Bonjour mon ami!

I wish Britain could have remained British.

[Task Force]

Granted. but a great war years later causes britian to fall.

I wish the british could get out to safty.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, the British get out to safty, but not to safety. In fact, they don't really know where they are when they get to safty so they get dafty and shoot up the place, end up in prison with Jimbo and TarJak and all have a blast playing "pick up the soap" and "change the dirty nappy"

I wish it was earlier rather than later

[Raptor1]

Granted, your execution is earlier, rather than later

I wish it was not to be

[Jimbuna]

Granted, it is not to see.

I wish my instincts served me correctly.

[Rockstar]

Granted, you now want to have that big gal sitting across from you at work to bare you children


I wish jimbuna and that big legged woman live happily ever after


.

[NealT]

Granted, they live happily everafter in your dreams...but not in real life.

I wish the grind in NF were not so slow...

[Raptor1]

Granted, it is now ultra-fast, and every noob is merrily driving a fully-crewed BB5

I wish something undisclosed at the present date

[Jimbuna]

Granted, your bank account details are posted on the www.

I wish first access to your account.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but you find that the only thing present there are enormous debts

I wish Little Red Robin Hood wasn't a communist, stealing from the oppressive imperialist aristocracy and giving to the glorious comrade workers

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, Little Red Robin Hood isn't a communist, stealing from the oppressive imperialist aristocracy and giving to the glorious comrade workers, she is actually Rosie O'Donnel in disguise, stealing from the oppressive talk show producers and giving to the comrade audience members, thereby causing a domino effect which destroys the Tyra Banks show, Oprah and "The View" causing a boredom tsunami in the homemaker community and a revolution that destroys Raptor1land, DT city, Ubootcomradegrad and Jimbunaville in a fiery blast of nuclear flames

I wish crushing wasn't so tiring (and toxic)

[Rockstar]

Granted you are on a constant intravenously fed diet of Red Bull, encapsulated in a clean enviroment solid steel sphere with no windows.


I wish Digital Trucker had Raptor1 inside the sphere with him so he can have someone to talk to



.

[TarJak]

Granted, they happily bounce their sphere talking all the time until it bounced on your head and they stop and say, "What was that bump?"

I wish Rckstars head would heal from the severe sphere bump.

[Raptor1]

Granted, Rckstar's head heals because the only doctor that was capable of healing such an injury was working on him, unfortunatly there was no one trained and available to save poor Rockstar

I wish Neal would lend me the 209 on Tuesday so I could plot world domination

[Task Force]

Granted. but you have to give it to me at 15:20hrs I need to put in the first plans to control the world.

I wish I would be successful.

[TarJak]

Granted, you succeed in failure.

I wish intransigence was a virtue

[UnderseaLcpl]

Granted, you succeed in failure.

I wish intransigence was a virtue

Granted, it is virtuous in the same way that patience is; widely ignored, thus resulting in an overwhelming consensus to lynch you for making it a virtue.

I wish theater popcorn was 75% less expensive, whilst maintaining quality.

[Etienne]

Granted. Turns out overpriced popcorn was the lynchpin of the world entertainment industry; it collapses completly, taking the rest of the economy with it. Russia reverts to USSR mode and takes over the world; you now live in a worker's paradise.

I wish I could adequately prepare for the upcoming zombie apocalypse.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you adequately prepare for the upcoming zombie apocalypse, by pooping yourself and running around in circles screaming

I wish I could get that picture out of my head

[Jimbuna]

Granted, the lobotomy was a success.

I wish fingerprints looked better when typed.

[Raptor1]

Granted, you fingerprints look all that much better while you typed on the incriminating evidence

I wish Subsim had it's own Stavka

[Jimbuna]

Granted, would that be with or without french fries.

I wish all the sauce was mine.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, all of the sauce is yours, but it's the "cream of sum yung gy" sauce

I wish a fly would fly into this guys mouth :yawn:

[Rockstar]

Granted, however Jimbuna's immediate reaction is to then throw up on your lap.

I wish Tarjak would clean up that mess


.

[TarJak]

Granted, I decide to clean up using napalm and you're caught in the ensuing inferno.

I wish I now didn't have to put out a fire.

[Raptor1]

Granted, you still have to clean up the remains though

I wish this thread didn't catch fire

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, this thread didn't catch fire, it erupted instead, sending an ash plume 9 billion miles high into the sky completely covering the planet in ash and freezing Al Gore by blocking the sun out completely.

I wish Spring would hurry up and get here

[Rockstar]

Spring has arrived and so did a whole army of crabs that are now nesting in your underwear.

I wish DT would wash more often



.

[TarJak]

Granted, he's in your bathroom right now showering, bathing, washing 24x7 and you are late for work because he won't let you in.

I wish DT would hurry up in Rockstar's bathroom.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but look at the mess on the floor and on the bath towel.

I wish it was lethargy time.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, it is lethargy time. In your lethargic state, you don't notice that TarJak has taken my nasty towel from Rockstar's bathroom and wrapped it around your head. You are subsequently mistaken for an Islamic waiter at "Dirty Dick's" crab house and forced to serve seafood to thousands upon thousands of redneck tourists who leave you nothing for a tip and smash your toes with the crab hammers and crunch your fingers with the lobster pliers

I wish this popcorn hull would get out from between my teeth

[Raptor1]

Granted, the ship whose hull is made of popcorn you are upon gets away from your teeth, and you are left to drown in the icy North Atlantic

I wish Popcorn Ships did not travel the North Atlantic

[Jimbuna]

Granted, they only travel in the Med now.

I wish my crabs had bigger nippers.

[TarJak]

Granted, but you are none too happy about what they grab with their extra large nippers.:o

I wish Jims crab problem had a less painful cure.

[Raptor1]

Granted, and it puts him out of his misery very quickly

I wish I did not

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you did not, but TarJak did

I wish all phlebotomists were good at missing nerves while practicing their craft

[NealT]

Granted but until they get good enough, they will practice on you.

I wish Neal and Company the best of luck in their d/l experience...

[Rockstar]

Granted, they secretly upload programs allowing them to skim off the top of everyones bank accounts to pay for their submarine.


I wish Neal-T has lots of money to pay for Neal and company new submarine to keep them out of my bank account



.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but it is worthless Monopoly money.

I wish I knew who won the paper chase.

[TarJak]

Granted, you did but the paper you chased was used toilet paper.

I wish drinking was a substitute for thinking

[Raptor1]

Granted, but it's not a very effective substitute

I wish I had a can of Coca-Cola.

[Mush Martin]

Granted the gods go sane and drop one on you from a cessna
at ten thousand feet, Nicely landing square atop your head.
well almost the listening to the whistling as it approaches
causes you to look up.


I wish that suddenly instead of a can of of coke it
turned into a banana cream pie so no one wastes
good coca cola.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but the can is empty.

I wish I knew why they call a leper in a windtunnel....confetti.

[NealT]

When they run the test on you later today you will find out...

I wish people were not so sarcastic and rude and evil and violent to each other...

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted people are not so sarcastic and rude and evil and violent to each other, they are straight-talking, considerate, good and warm and fuzzy feeling to each other. In fact, they all turn into Tribbles and the Earth is consumed by mass quantities of them

I wish to squish the baboonish batfish with the yellowish spikefish

[Mush Martin]

Granted but as soon as the deed is done the irrepressible
nympho maniac yellowish spikefish makes you the worlds first pregnant
man and then leaves you with the 400 kids to care for while
he seeks his fortune at seaworld.


I wish you and your new family all the best at least the
media will leave a lone that lady with the litter o kids now.

[NealT]

Granted and now they turn their attention to you, hounding you day and night, not letting you get any rest, until finally you cannot stand it all and move in with JB and the BFB that works across from him.

I wish JB had not talked about that BFB in the first place...

[TarJak]

Granted, you know nothing about her until she slips into bed with you one night for a bit of how's your father.

I wish NealT would stop banging on about the JB's BFB.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, he now makes a movie but insists on starring in it himself.

I wish he could put up with her butt breath.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but only for a very limited time

I wish curiosity will kill the cat already, gah!

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, curiosity killed the cat already, gah! Unfortunately, that also kills the "I know curiosity killed the cat but...." thread causing a cosmic conundrum and driving the residents of Raptor1oburg to grab their pitchforks and torches and chase you to the ends of the earth looking for their itty bitty kitties

I wish all malware writers' crotches and armpits would be infested with the fleas, crabs and STD's of an infinite number of leprous camels

[Sledgehammer427]

granted, but now there is an overflow of leprous camels, and they all live...in your house

i wish i could rip out my sinuses, they dont really serve any other purpose than to irratate me an clog up my nose

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but you accidentally damage your brain and become a meat-puppet.

I wish that Zeus and Odin could coexist.

[Mush Martin]

Granted ... but once the team of psychologists has resolved the
Big Guy's MPD He decides that maybe now that he is better he
can go back to his job of running the earth. you are standing on
the spot where his throne lands and stays permanently and trapped
underneath it you discover that **** really does flow downhill
with Godly magnificence and regularity.

I wish this had not all happened before and would not all happen again.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, this did not all happen before and will not all happen again, but that does (and you don't even want to know about that)

I wish neither here nor there was where

[Jimbuna]

Granted, there is where here is now instead.

I wish time could tell.

[NealT]

It does with the wrinkles on women's forehead and the lack of testerone a man generates which causes .....

I wish the event would continue.

[Mush Martin]

Granted ... I assume you mean the sun going nova.

I wish I had some strong sunblock.

[UnderseaLcpl]

I wish I had some strong sunblock.

Granted, your sunblock is so strong it beats you to a pulp and makes off with your wife.

I wish that sunblock had tried that s*** with me!

[Jimbuna]

Granted, it throws in a free butt rape for good measure/added value.

I wish mine was a funnel and not a tunnel.

[TarJak]

Granted, your funnel is not a tunnel but is shorter and narrower than you think.

I wish for prosperity not austerity

[Jimbuna]

Granted but only in medieval terms....heres a horse and a chicken.

I wish I could plough the furrow like the grim reaper.

[Mush Martin]

Granted ... you replace the current reaper in his job however in order
to achieve your wish... consequently you spend the eternity that is
the rest of your career hearing people whine and cry for their mothers
24/7 along with the barrage of emotional parting scene's.


I wish Mr. Death would come and cut that hay.:cool:

[NealT]

Granted, all the hay is cut, rots in the fields, and there is none left for cattle feed causing them to starve, leading to a complete and wholesale failure of the entire food chain - particularly those who love their Texas BBQ.

I wish Nova were more exciting.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, it is now transformed into a Supa Nova....don't look at it or you'll be blinded.

I wish the domino theory was based on snakes and ladders.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, the domino theory is now based on snakes and ladders. The next time you want to play dominoes, you have to do so while sitting on top of a rickety ladder and stuffing angry venomous snakes into your jockey shorts

I wish those snakes would calm down before they tip the ladder over

[Raptor1]

Granted, they calm down by gnawing on your foot

I wish we didn't have to amputate your left sock

[TarJak]

Granted, they take both your legs, torso and arms.

I wish Raptor1 would quit while he is a head.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but two seconds after 'now' and he is a toenail.

I wish I had a pair of clippers.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, you have a pair of clippers. It is now your duty to perform a pedicure on every resident of Raptor1ograd (you know, all those folks with the toe cheese from too many hours stomping Limburger into a drinkable form).

I wish e = MC Hammer

[AVGWarhawk]

E does=MC Hammer but you can't touch this.

I wish for a large bottle of scotch aged 50 years.:D

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but it is scoth turpentine.

I wish balck holes were more colourful.

[NealT]

They are quite colorful...it's just you are terribly color blind and cannot see it.

I wish Torpedoes did not go 'dud'.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, they now go 'kerplunk'.

I wish high tensile steel was less rivetting.

[Mush Martin]

[edit] granted now the high tensile steel comes in a new "wool" type form
and you must now knit your sub.


I wish wishes were fishes and we all had net's

[Jimbuna]

Granted, your now wishing about your fishy smelling fishnet......stockings.

I wish not to witness the event.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but you still feel the pain from it

I wish there were more flapgapgjmnhsoubnvosul;heopgwaliugnesasa;djnaruses roaming the land

[AVGWarhawk]

Granted but PETA needs to talk with you on that.

I wish I had a large gun to stop the flapgapgjmnhsoubnvosul;heopgwaliugnesasa;djnaruses from roaming the land. They are killing my garden. :nope:

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, but since the recoil on a flapgapgjmnhsoubnvosul;heopgwaliugnesasa;djnarus gun is equal to the 3rd polynomial of E = MC Hammer, you get blasted backwards at three times the speed of light and end up in 1973 on Mars

I wish good TV shows didn't get canceled for other garbage

[Raptor1]

Granted, they get canceled for breaking news about rampaging flapgapgjmnhsoubnvosul;heopgwaliugnesasa;djnaruses

I wish to violently stop the scorn of the ones with lesser intelligence

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but DT, AVG and co rebel against your harsh measures and have you enslaved and manacled in a padded cell for the rest of your life.

I wish the starting list was finished.

[AVGWarhawk]

Granted but flapgapgjmnhsoubnvosul;heopgwaliugnesasa;djnaruses found roaming by PETA did infact find E=MC Hammer who said you still can touch this! Break it down.....rebelling is not legal.

I wish the finishing list was started.

[Mush Martin]

Granted but its never finished.

I wish were weren't all divided by a common toungue

[Raptor1]

Granted, the people of Were are no longer divided by their common tongue, now they are united and invading Mush Martinia

I wish to send an expeditionary force to repel the forces of Were from the continent

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted you send an expeditionary force to repel the forces of Were from the continent. unfortunately, you forgot about the numerically and tactically superior forces of Was which force you from the continent after you force the forces of Were from the continent

I wish I knew where Were and Was were

[AVGWarhawk]

Granted! Were and Was are located back to the future. But just for the present and the past because we will be going into the past in the very near future.

I wish to know if Oz is a real place and if there is a wizard that resides there. :hmmm:

[TarJak]

Granted, you are welcomed to Sydney in Oz where the men are men and the sheep are nervous. Unfortunately for you the Wizard decides that instead of granting you courage, heart or brain he turns you into a sheep.

I wish AVG well on his journey down under.

[NealT]

He has arrived, but cannot find any sheep for some reason, so he comes looking for YOU and guess what...he finds you.

:woot:

I wish sheep were not so sheepish...

[Jimbuna]

Granted, they are now bullish...watch out for them horns.

I wish your ass was made of grass.

[Sledgehammer427]

granted, and SH427 is the lawnmower :D

i wish i had something better to do than mow lawns

[Raptor1]

Granted, you now chop trees, grab this chainsaw!

I wish splines weren't so spliney

[TarJak]

Granted, howver these less spliney splines now flollop gayly about your bed each evening

I wish Raptor1 would talk sense.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but it's nonsense.

I wish my money would stretch further.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, your money stretches further. It stretches so far, in fact, that you can't find the other end of it until the economy lets go of it, smacking you into next week and causing a huge rip in the space-time continuum, into which the Large Hardon Collider is absorbed thereby completely eliminating any hope of learning anything about anything for the next gazillion years

I wish I could remember what money looks like

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but you now realise it looks nothing like the money in your wallet because yours are forged notes.

I wish there had of been a different outcome today.

[Raptor1]

Granted, a meteor hit the earth and shattered us all

I wish to be in the conveniently located escapemobile when that happens

[NealT]

Granted, you are...and the escapemobile is conveniently located at Ground Zero, so you are smushed flat before you can get it in gear.

I wish the snow today were not as heavy as it is...

[Jimbuna]

Granted, it is only a light shower.

I wish it wasn't so quiet.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, it's not so quiet, it is completely silent

I wish my mojo would come back

[Raptor1]

Granted, but it cannot possibly help you, what with the execution for treason tomorrow

I wish there was a way to carry out the death sentence without an execution

[NealT]

Granted, you carry it outside without executing anyone and read it outloud, whereby you are summarily executed for waking up the King from a dead sleep.

I wish JB had been more creating with his crush...

[Jimbuna]

Granted, next time I'll create havoc.

I wish havoc was my mentor.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, havoc is your mentor, leading you to a life of crime and ultimately, capture and incarceration. Your cellmate is, of course, Gary Glitter.

I wish I could think of a good wish, one that would be most eloquent and well articulated and not easily crushed and would cause the next wish crusher extreme headaches in the effort of crushing it

[NealT]

Granted, except that the process of thinking of the wish causes you such extreme pain it crushes your brain into something the size of an electron.

I wish this were not so much fun...

[Raptor1]

Granted, it is now excruciating pain, which you gain retroactively for all your previous fun

I wish bolt-action rifles were state of the art again

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but being art means they are only available from museums.

I wish your time would come.

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, Raptor1s time comes, and goes, so rapidly that that no one notices and we all go crazy wondering where his time went

I wish the mother of all bombs would stop dropping on my bases

[NealT]

Granted, now they are dropping on your house instead...

I wish JB were not so quick to crush dreams so I could catch up in posts...

[Raptor1]

Granted, but because of that you contract the...CURSE OF THE SPAM KING *dramatic music*...and will remain cursed forever

I wish the...CURSE OF THE SPAM KING *dramatic music*...wouldn't cause his eventual slow and painful demise

[TarJak]

Granted, CURSE OF THE SPAM KING *dramatic music... now causes sever halitosis and he's coming to give you a big kiss.

I wish being ingenious didn't make you ingenuous.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, you are now naive and disfunctional instead.

I wish for a quantum of solace.

[Rockstar]

Granted, now because of your continued close proximity and interaction with the obeese beyatch siting across from you a quantum entanglement begins to take affect making it impossible to separate you from one another.

I wish Jimbuna and his entangled partner would find costumes that fit and become crime fighting superheros


.

[NealT]

Granted, they are now known as Austin Powers and 'Fat Bast$#d' and the first person they are hunting is YOU!

I wish people would really say what they think...

[Digital_Trucker]

Granted, people now really say what they think. The vast majority of them say nothing and the rest babble endlessly.

I wish a spoonful of sugar really did make the medicine go down

[Rockstar]

Granted, but afterwards, your heart rate increases, body tremors begin, followed by shortness of breath, you read the medicines warning label instructing you never to take with suger. Finally and without control you let go a big stinky in public filling yer drawers because you couldn't make it to the toilet in time.


I hope DT has enough toilet paper


.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but only enough to wipe his ar$e and not his bottom as well.

I wish I was upwind of the smell.

[Sledgehammer427]

granted...you are, but then the wind shifts direction towards you

I wish i had a wendy's 1/2 lb hamburger right now

[Rockstar]

Granted, but it's been trappled by a herd of circus elephants and left to bake in the sun for the last two weeks. bon appetite.

I wish Sledghammer always gets what he wishes for.

[TarJak]

Granted, and he has wished for your instant demise.

I wish Rockstar's demise is quick and painless.

[Rockstar]

GRANTED! and up from the ashes comes the 'new and improved' Rockstar.

I wish TarJak was that 1/2 wendy's hamburger ;)


.

[TarJak]

Granted, but I manage to stick in your throat and choke you to death.

I wish being a hamburger wasn't so stressful.

[Raptor1]

Granted, you are now loaded with stress-reduction sauce before being eaten


I wish the ignorant fools weren't so ignorant

[Jimbuna]

Granted, from now on they are simply stupid.

I wish to know the true meaning of escapology.