Game: Crush Each Other's Dreams II

[Shearwater]

Granted. Granted. Granted. Granted. Granted. Granted. Granted. Granted. Granted. Granted. Granted. Granted. Granted. Granted. Granted. Granted. Granted. Granted. Granted. Granted. Granted. Granted. Granted. Granted. Granted. Granted. Granted. Granted. Granted. Granted. Granted. Granted. Granted. Granted. Granted. Granted. Granted. Granted. Granted. Granted. Granted. Granted. Granted. Granted. Granted. Granted. Granted. Granted. Granted. Granted. Granted. Granted. Granted. Granted. Granted. Granted.

I wish the wish of a thousand wishes (it's the 1000th post in this thread!! :woot:)

Edit: Alright, it's the 1000th reply. Still a sufficient pretext for downing a cold one.

[Task Force]

Granted, but the wish of athousand withed is the wish of a thousand fishes!

I wish that fish could make a wish.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, you now turn into a slimy skinned, smelly little wriggler.

I wish you could take it like a man.

[Task Force]

granted, right up the... err...

I wish for no one to be able to have bases...

[TarJak]

Granted, all your base are belong us!

I wish Jimbuna could get to London on Friday week.

[Jimbuna]

I can't grant you that wish because I was there yesterday :damn:

I wish this wasn't so distressing.

[Raptor1]

Granted, it is merely disturbing

I wish I had something to wish

[Task Force]

granted, you wish you were were a fish, so thats your wish!

I wish all for 1 and 1 for all!

[Shearwater]

1.

I wish for a self-cleaning apartment.

[TarJak]

Granted, it cleans itself of you and all your kit. Welcome to the gutter.

I wish the gutter had a better rep.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but only in guttural terms.

I wish the process wasn't processed.

[Task Force]

Granted, now the bank refuses to process yer checks.

I wish the next replyer would get a blue screen of death.

[Shearwater]

Gran

Edit: Why thank you very much. But the same happens to you, when you expect it the least.

I wish I could control every computer like I can control TF's.

[TarJak]

Granted, you have no control even of your own.

I wish the fantasy had more flesh.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but with less skeletal structure ity simply collapses on the ground like a huge jelly.

I wish crabs had more legs than a centipede.

[Task Force]

granted, now they have tons of more legs, but no where to use them.

I wish that less was more

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but more now means less.

I wish that Boelcke, Immelmann, and Richthofen had survived the war.

[Randomizer]

Granted but sadly all three pass away on November 12th 1918, having contracted the Spanish Flu.

I wish Cat would quit tearing holes in the screen door.

[Task Force]

Granted, now tears holes in your arm.

I wish cats didnt have claws.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, they have scissors instead.

I wish I knew where time went.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but you have no way of knowing when it left

I wish I knew what of it

[TarJak]

Granted, you know what but not how.

I wish development came with subsidies.

[Shearwater]

Granted. All housewives now develop horribly disfiguring moles on their forheads.

I wish nobody will take offense.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, they take your fence instead.

I wish the cards were marked.

[nikimcbee]

Granted, now they are!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63KpcAJa24Q

I wish my wife didn't take my car, now she'll waste all of the gas:shifty:

[Jimbuna]

Granted, she also takes your wallet to fill the tank up.

I wish primeval fear was humorous.

[NealT]

Granted, it is called the Frightened Caveman's Funny Bone.

I wish I had not been away so long.

[TarJak]

Granted, You came back sooner to find that everyone else had already moved on.

I wish my wife was here.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, she is 'here'....with me.

I wish you a pleasant stay in London.

[TarJak]

Granted, I'm enjoying it immensely.

I wish you could get down here for a pint.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, just so long as it's rum on offer.

I wish you would give 'F' a friendly kick in the knackers for me :DL

[TarJak]

Granted, He wants to return the kick to you and he's still in Britain.

I wish there was more time for beer and cheer.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but that means you must both spend less time in your hotel room together.

I wish the film was available.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but only in Somalia

I wish they told me before

[Randomizer]

Granted, they told you before placing you in a cage with a 600-pound silverbacked gorilla who just happens to looking for gorilla love.

I wish for an end to reality TV.

[TarJak]

Granted, you are invited onto I'm a Celebity get me out of here and you die in the steaming jungles of tropical north Queensland from Ross River Fever ending your involvement in reality TV.

I with I knew what the X Factor was.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, it's the one that comes after the W factor and before th Y factor.

I wish you auditioned for a singing role in it.

[Randomizer]

Granted, he got the singing role but after you heard the song it stuck in your head day and night for months on end until finally, driven totally insane, you beat yourself to death with a ping pong paddle.

I wish I was coordinated enough to play ping pong well.

[TarJak]

Granted, your coordination has improved but your timing needs work. Ping pong is now shunned by all nations except Tarjakistan where it is only played in on place. The interrogation cells of the Tarjakistan secret police.

I wish Randomizer luck with his interrogation.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but all the luck is of the 'bad' variety and he is castrated.

I wish empathy was enlightening.

[Stealth Hunter]

Granted, but it still doesn't pay.

I wish that the Incas ruled Mexico.

[Task Force]

Granted, but only till I press the Submit Post button.

I wish 1 was 2 and 2 was 3...

[THE_MASK]

Granted , but 7 8 9 .

[Raptor1]

Granted, but you are struck down with divine wrath for not making a wish

I wish this thread won't get killed off...again...

[Jimbuna]

Granted, it gets lock suddenly and without warning instead.

I wish the world was not enough.

[TarJak]

Granted, you get a free set of steak knives as well.

I wish Jim a Happy New Year.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, I hope your right.

I wish you a happier one.

[Task Force]

Granted, but it turns out that the new year is actualy the new old one. wait... did I just confuse myself...:o

I wish that subs could fly, and planes dived...

[Raptor1]

Granted, planes can already dive, and your brand new experimental rocket-powered submarine is about to take off with yourself as the test pilot

I wish TF's submarine won't kill him too quickly

[Jimbuna]

Granted, he suffers a long sloooow painful end to his life.

I wish all the front row seats hadn't already been purchased.

[Task Force]

Granted, you get a seat in the 2nd row... Behind the "Worlds biggest woman"...:up:

I wish jim wouldnt get crushed by peices of my submarocket... lol

[HunterICX]

Granted, he is safe in a bunker so none of the debri injured him.

I wish due the explosion Task Force's Post count on Subsim droped to #0 :O:

HunterICX

[Randomizer]

Granted but his post count becomes a zero with 800 in front of it giving Task Force many free posts.

I wish peach-pits could be used in nuclear weapons fired from rocket-propelled arial submarines.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but they're all targetted at your place of abode.

I wish that front row seat was now available.

[Randomizer]

Granted, there is a front row seat available. Your seat is in row 1,736,431.

I wish (insert name of any irritating celebrity here) was packed up in cement and set afloat.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but the men sent to execute this mission failed to locate anyone who goes by the name (insert name of any irritating celebrity here), so they went home

I wish Newton's third law of motion did not exist

[Lt.Fillipidis]

Granted.Newton's laws of motion are now unnumbered.

I wish i had a teleport machine to teleport home -> work and the opposite whenever i want...

[TarJak]

Granted, however you get teleported to your home in the year 22000 BC and have to share your future place of abode with a woolly mammoth.

I wish for more tolerance this year.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, tolerance levels are raised by one thousandth of an inch meaning your tadger is now 3" and one thousandth of an inch.

I wish forbearance was redeemable.

[Rockstar]

It is, but the judge called it a bribe and now find yourself out of a job and in jail.

I hope jimbuna's cellmate is gentle

[Task Force]

Granted... till he finds he was in the police force... then he wasnt so gentel...

I wish FRAPS would take Screen shots when I tell it to...

[VonHesse]

Granted. It takes 'em every time, but it won't let you see them.

I wish I had a cool sig...:O:

[Randomizer]

Granted, your sig is so very cool that it reaches absolute zero causing all movement in the universe to cease and the end of everything as we know it.

I wish the known universe was not so easy to destroy when crushing dreams.

[Lt.Fillipidis]

Granted. I restored the universe"s flow of time but i forgot to do so to you too so now you"re immobile like a statue.

I wish Michael Kiske would go back to Helloween so that they would have two singers and make each album with the voice of each! :haha:

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but one is Chinese speaking and the other is Japanese so neither audience group can understand a word and both albums are a major flop.

I wish the i's were dotted and the t's were crossed.

[TarJak]

Granted, they have been dotted and crossed on your arrest warrant. The rozzers are on their way now.

I wish Jim luck with his choice of cellmate.

[frau kaleun]

Granted, but his choice was to have you transferred over from the next cell block.

I wish you a long and mutually rewarding time together.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, as long as I am the giver and he is the taker.

I wish I had more soap.

[Randomizer]

Granted but you need to bend over to get it and so become the new taker.

I wish jellyfish were made of bronze.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but bronzefish are now made of jelly

I wish to know who won...

[frau kaleun]

Granted, and the goldfish made a nice first prize, but the third-place recipient of a bronzefish consisting merely of jelly is now suing you for false advertising.

I wish I could sing like Dinah Washington.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, you now sound like Dinah Washington...with tonsilitis.

I wish the forbidden fruit was freely available.

[Lt.Fillipidis]

Granted. But the tree now is 30feet tall and full of spikes so none could reach them.

I wish my feet werent so cold at the moment...

[TarJak]

Granted they are now 0.0000000000000001 degree warmer.

I wish all that was unknown could be known by all.

[Randomizer]

Granted but this causes each brain to instantly detonate with the force of a 50 megaton bomb, wiping out all life and making the knowledge irrelevant.

I wish bee's knees had fleas please.

[frau kaleun]

Granted, but the fleas carry Beebonic Plague, to which only highly agressive killer bees are immune. They are coming for us, and we are doomed.

I wish I knew the way to San Jose.

[TarJak]

Granted, but you are not invited to stay.

I wish the specifics were more definitive.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but only in your mind and not that of society as a whole.

I wish all despicable acts were remedial.

[Randomizer]

Granted but the remedy is much worse than the problem and society slips into total pandemonium.

I wish pandemonia was a cleaning solvent made from pandas.

[TarJak]

Granted, and the Pandas are now making you drink a 10L container of it.

I wish clarity of mind could be combined with fixedness of purpose.

[frau kaleun]

Granted, but the mind is that of your neighbor's 13 year old kid and the purpose is to bounce a softball off the outside wall of your bedroom without interruption until he breaks the world record.

I wish the rain were made of vodka.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, it is Hindustani vodka and absolutely undrinkable.

I wish there was a time for sacred habits.

[TarJak]

Granted, you now have time to wear your sacred nun habit down to Tescos to do you shopping.

I hope Jim remembers the milk.

[Randomizer]

Granted but it is rancid and stinking milk from a three-toed sloth with plague infested rats swimming in it and he just spilt it on your living room rug.

I wish my breadmaker could make gold.

[frau kaleun]

Granted, but it was the only working breadmaker on Earth after the last apocalypse, and making bread by hand had become a lost art when the cyborgs took over. Bread is gone from us forever, and no amount of gold can buy it back. The masses, predictably, blame you.

I wish I had a nickel for every time that happened.

[VonHesse]

Granted, you are a very wealthy woman, indeed. However, buying anything of significance requires a truck and hours and hours of counting.

I wish politicians didn't lie so darn much.

[TarJak]

Granted, you now know they are taking you for all they can get so they are comfortable in their old age.

I wish I knew the pitfalls before taking the next step.

[Randomizer]

Granted and so you end up passing an African convent and although you now know all the pitfalls you still end up in Abyssinia with an Abbess falling into an abyss.

I wish that Swiss cheese is not where you find it.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, Swiss cheese is now renamed to 'where you find it cheese'

I wish the bottom line was at the top.

[Raptor1]

I wish it was not so

Granted, but now this wish is upside down

[TarJak]

Granted, things are it is not so, they are la.

I wish the story would not get in the way of good facts.

[Lt.Fillipidis]

Granted. There are no good facts at all so no problem.

I wish all drinks were free for me tonight.
(I hate when i dont have a hangover from last night and i just dont have enough money to try again the next night... :damn:)

[MothBalls]

Granted. Welcome to The Blue Oyster Urine Bar, all of your drinks are free.

I wish I could stop procrastinating.

[Task Force]

Granted now you have nothing to do, all you did was procrastinate.

I wish the world world was upside down.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but due to the nature of the laws of gravity, it really changes nothing...

I wish there was no gravity

[Lt.Fillipidis]

Granted. But since Newton had nothing to describe about gravity, he described atomic energy and how to make a bomb out of it so today after 7 World Wars the world is destroyed. Grats-You doomed us all.

I wish i had an angel. :haha:

[ubootcomrade]

Granted, but its an angel of death, and your next!

I wish the Big Red would leave my tank alone!

[Jimbuna]

Granted, it goes after yer ass instead.

I wish the geometrical solution wasn't a lesson in angles.

[Raptor1]

Granted, it's a lesson in trigonometry

I wish someone would go back in time and stop Stealth Hunter from making the original Crush Each Other's Dreams thread before it's opened

[Lt.Fillipidis]

Granted. I sent a terminator back in time and killed him.
But since its imposible to manipulate the flow of time, you took his place and now its you the terminator is after. Someone call schwarzenegger!

I wish i had a wireless telephone.

[TarJak]

Granted, you have one made from string and tin cans and no wires.

I wish theophany was as easy as telephony.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, you will realise fully when you leave infants school.

I wish that dirty washing was aired in public.

[Task Force]

Granted... on public tv...

I wish you could add, and distroy matter.

[ubootcomrade]

Granted, however the matter you decide to "distroy", is your own, causing you to turn to dust.

I wish the swarm of grammar Nazis that decent upon Task Force dont hurt him too much.

[frau kaleun]

Granted; since dust feels no pain the live grenade thrown onto the pile of what used to be Task Force will not sting at all when we "decent" on him.

I wish pots would proofread more often before commenting on the appearance of kettles. :O:

[TarJak]

Granted, your pots proofreading has uncovered your kettle's grammatical indiscretions and commented on your Facebook page.

I wish instant karma came in easy to carry sachets.

[Randomizer]

Granted but due to the Grammer Nazi's off dealing with Task Force's spelling your wish gets corrupted to something about an instant camera in an easy to carry socket. Since this makes no sense at all, your wish is cancelled and you cannot get a wish refund.

I wish for a dark carbuncle of comedy.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but seeing as how the carbunkle is growing out of yer ar$e you never get to see it.

I wish it was my way or the highway.

[Lt.Fillipidis]

Granted. Its your way on the highway- on the highway to hell!
Muhahah!

I wish that the person i was calling before will pick it up next time...

[VonHesse]

Granted, they answer the phone this time, however you dialed the wrong number and called the Army recruitin station. Welcome to the army, son.

I wish your rucksack weren't so heavy.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, try my kitbag now...it's much heavier.

I wish daylight was darker.

[Randomizer]

Granted, there is no more daylight as the Sun decides to shut down for a spell ending all life on earth.

I wish the next time somebody re-invents the wheel it comes out something other than round.

[TarJak]

Granted, as the next person to re-invent the wheel you decide that square will work, yeah square, that should do the trick....Oh bugger!

I wish Randomizer had though things through before inventing a square wheel.

[Raptor1]

Granted, he thoroughly though things through, it doesn't change much...

I wish for a glass of melted cornflakes

[VonHesse]

Granted. You are whisked through space and time to the morning of August 6, 1945, Hiroshima, Japan. Your glass of cornflakes is in your hand... stand by...

I wish it really did rain cats and dogs.

[Randomizer]

Granted but their impact on the ground does the poor creatures no good at all and the lack of rain soon causes misery from thirst as fresh water slowly disappears from the earth.

I wish that catatonic was a beverage made from carbonated water and cats.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but seeing as how you have the sole supply...enjoy.

I wish feebleness was a virtue.

[TarJak]

Granted, and you are now the most virtuous person on the planet.

I wish collapsible umbrellas wouldn't collapse in the wind.

[Randomizer]

Granted, now they collapse when wet.

I wish aardvarks had snouts like artichokes.

[VonHesse]

Granted. To solve the world's food crisis, greenpeace genetic engineers create... giant aardvartichokes. However, maddened by the smell of artichoke yet unable to eat, they broke loose and are currently wreaking havoc, looking for revenge on all humans.

I wish I hadn't forgotten the combination to my secret underground lair.

[TarJak]

Granted, you remember it and open the door only to find your lair filled with extremely angry aardvartichokes.

I wish there were parallels to this story in real life.

[Jimbuna]

Granted but only in another parallel universe.

I wish naughty was nice.

[Randomizer]

Granted, but the naughty/nice inversion creates havoc in the space time continuum causing chaos and creating worlds overrun with highly flatulent aardvartachokes across all parallel universes.

I wish for the power to control gravity.

[ubootcomrade]

Granted, however you soon forget how to to control gravity after a zero-grav drinking binge and you float off into deep space.

I wish my picture under my name on the left was less...disturbing.

[TarJak]

Granted, your new avatar is now permanently: http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/images/ranks/hangover.jpg

I wish ubootcomrade enjoys his Wild Night in Bangkok.

[Raptor1]

Granted, but only for 1 post

I wish my battle axe had +1 attack against routers

[Randomizer]

Granted but your are attacked by cataphracted cavalry against whom a battle axe is -782 attack.

I wish photographs could talk.

[VonHesse]

Granted, but at a thousand words apeice, their incessant ramblings drive us all stark-raving mad.

I wish these wishes came with a safety warning of some sort...

[Jimbuna]

Granted: Warning you die after your third wish.

I wish the telephone would quack.

[Randomizer]

Granted, but now every fall your phone will fly south for the winter. (That would be north for all those antipodeans out there).

I wish there were more moose on the loose.

[TarJak]

Granted, you now have many moose on the loose in your living room.

I wish parasites would be more symbyotic.

[Ships-R-Us]

Granted: But nothing matters now that the SH5 project has been shelved indefinately due to incessant rambunctions

[Randomizer]

I would have gladly crushed his wish but sadly Shipsrus left the world wish less.

I wish Shipsrus had made a wish so some new and diabolical means to destroy all life, the universe and everything could have been granted. And then Crushed...

[Ships-R-Us]

Granted in deed Randomizer: Now, may I have the privilege of wishing Romania was next door to me so that I could visit Ubisoft, now that I learned how to play the game.....Cheers

[Raptor1]

Granted, but the geographical warping required to place Romania in said place cracks the surface of the earth and turns it into something quite resembling Jupiter's moon Io

I wish people would think about the consequences of their wishes before unleashing unspeakable doom upon the planet...

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but the consequences are unchangeable apart from the area of the planet under threat...your house.

I wish the bitch sitting opposite me at work would cross her legs whilst sitting at her desk.

[TarJak]

Granted, she does so crushing your head and suffocating you in the process.

I wish soldiering on was less like hard work.

[Randomizer]

Granted, but a spelling error converts soldiering to soldering and the zipper of your pants is accidentally soldered to the coller of a rabid rotwieller. In a few moments you will be longing for the days when soldiering on was hard work.

I wish for fish and chips for supper.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, but wouldn't they have been more enjoyable if they had been cooked first.

I wish my earwig lived in another persons ear.

[TarJak]

Granted, it is now in Gordon Brown's ear and he's none to happy about it and sends MI6 around to run a "security check" on you.

I wish Jimbuna good luck with his "security check".

[Sledgehammer427]

granted, he tells them you were involved and now you are getting a "security check." With all the trimmings >_>

I wish my CD's would burn faster.

[frau kaleun]

Granted; since TarJak pointed MI6 in your direction instead, all of your data is indeed burning faster. Sadly, the smoke from the bonfire in your back yard is only helping them pinpoint your location.

I wish diamonds were forever.

[Randomizer]

Granted, Diamonds were forever. From now on they are not.

I wish somebody would crush Sledgehammer427's dream since I missed it.

[Jimbuna]

Granted, the dream is crushed and all the blood and guts from it are being sent in a package to your place of abode.

I wish the comprimise was consuming.

[Task Force]

Granted, but the comprimise was comsumed by a small, annoying dog.

I wish I had a uncrushable, distroyable, completly nomral wish.

[Randomizer]

Granted, but the problem with nomrel wishes is that they are fully crushable and easily distroyable using a conventional trash compactor and bio-waste incinerator. Too bad you would not let go of your wish before these awful things happened to it.

I wish to see Frunabulax vs. Godzilla.

[TarJak]

Granted, but you get so excited at seeing them you get too close and Godzilla steps on you.

I wish for forewarning of impending doom.

[UnderseaLcpl]

I wish for forewarning of impending doom.

Granted, you are hereby served 5 billion years' forewarning of the impending destruction of the Earth. Unfortunately, you recieve no prior notice of your own crippling and near-fatal wounding that leaves you conscious but unable to move or communicate for the rest of human history, thanks to some major advances in life-support technologies and some complicated ethical questions.

I wish the lame children's educational program "Dora the Explorer" would be replaced by a more historically accurate, entertaining, and awesome children's educational program entitled "Dora the Conquistador"

[Task Force]

Granted, now she explores the oceans! But in the next episode, she gets sunk... Makeing the little girls, and girl like boys start to cry everywhere.

I wish that you would get pie all over yer face.

[Randomizer]

Granted, but it's dry pie and wipes up easily with no mess thanks to Pie B Gone pre moistened towlettes.

I wish that I could clear that nest of zombies out of the attic.

[Task Force]

Granted, But they just go in through your windows, and eat yer BRAINZ!!!!

I wish for you to know what im wishing for.

[Raptor1]

Granted, and we promptly crush your wish before you even wish it

I wish the delay was infinite

[Task Force]

Granted, but your wish is delayed... for ever...

I wish time flew.

[UnderseaLcpl]

Granted, but your wish is delayed... for ever...

I wish time flew.

Granted, you're sucked past the event horizon of a black hole and your constituent particles are ripped apart as they approach the speed of light, making all time pass in the blink of an eye (relatively) for you while you suffered tremendous agony over the course of millions of relative years.

I wish I had a nice glass of Riecine Chianti and a Veal Marsala right about now.