Sumbarines, Carpets & Levitation (Balz)

[Brag]

"Why should I buy a magic carpet?" Balz asked Haji Baba Jimbuna as the Terror of Casablanca dragged him into the carpet emporium.
Haji Baba pointed toward the Brest Naval Base. "Because magic carpets are quieter than a U--boat. Imagine yourself inside a sub--"
Balz stomped his foot on a black cat who had quietly arrived to mooch a piece of bacon, "I don't need to imagine myself inside a submarine. I spend too much time inside submarines."
"But imagine floating inside a sub inspecting everything from a magic carpte without needing to worry stepping on cats."
"No stepping on cats, that's hoochie woochie."
"Veri hoochie woochie. Just think, quietly floating from control room, to hydrophone station and then to your bunk, eating watermelon."
The watermelon would change the ballast, could I have Russian peaches?"
°With or without cream?"
I am not buying no magic carpet nor submarines today."
"Be careful don't step on the cat."
Haji Baba Jimbuna's warning came too late. Balz stepped on a black cat's tail. The cat jumped on a shelf with rolled carpets and rolled a carpet on Balz's head.
"There, that's a perfect fit," said Jimbuna. "You have good taste. No need to change the oil on the carpet for ten thousand nautical miles."
"I never change the oil on my tea cozies."
"Ach, tea cozies are so British de classe. Meanwhile, get your money out."
Haji Baba got his dagger out. "With carpets we have a no return policy."

To be continued on your screen soon, very soon.

[Laufen zum Ziel]

Good to see Baltz again.

[Aktungbby]

VAT! No flying teacozy?

[HW3]

I see jimbuna is still in the carpet business.

[Laufen zum Ziel]

Originally Posted by HW3

I see jimbuna is still in the carpet business.

Only after a few pint's then it becomes his friend

[Brag]

Half an hour later, Bernard arrived. "Did, you call, oh great master of the Seven Seas?"
"You forgot to address me as grand phooba of the Deep-
"Balz pointed at the rolled up carpet, "I am assigning to the important mission of taking this marvelous magic carpet and install aboard U-123." He then turned to Haji Baba Jimbuna. "Does this carpet helps detect enemy shipping?"
Haji Baba shifted his weight from one leg to the other. "No, it just flies quietly inside submarines, That way the captain becomes undetectable."
"I like being undrtrcttable," Balz said, and pointed at Bernard, "you have heard what needs ro be dine, Off to work without moronic results."

[Tango589]

Originally Posted by Brag

Off to work without moronic results."

This is Bernard we're talking about...

[Brag]

Ir I become undetectabl, Balz though, logic stands my boat will also b undetectable. He then gave Bernard his special All Sailors Must Fear Me Lookand pointed at his bunk. "unroll the magic carpet on my bunk and be ready to assist me on my first silent hunter flight.

Bernard unrolled the carpet and Balz crawled on top." There, so far, so good. Now pull the carpet. 'tilI am floating quietly."

Are you sure you want to do it,?" Bernard asked.
"Ummmm. Better hand me the chicken tea cozy."
Aware that he was probably the first U'boat skipper to fly inside a submarine, with a sense of history, Balz said, "pull."

Bernard groaned
The carpet moved
Balz hit the deck with a loud thud .
"Excellent take off but you need to practice on your landings." Bernard said.

[Sailor Steve]

Don't blame Bernard for this one. He was only doing what he was told, and he was told by the great Balz himself. How could he not believe? How could he not obey. How could he not destroy the entire Kriegsmarine?

[HW3]

It sounds like Haji Baba Jimbuna would make an excellent used car salesman.

[desertstriker]

poor Balz

[Tango589]

Originally Posted by desertstriker

poor Balz

Yes, he probably squashed them when he landed!

[Brag]

Thud, Balz hit the deck like groaning pillow.
Lt. Werner Schnitzel said, "The landing was better but still noisy
Zeiler Ztif said, "You need to extend your time aloft between take off and landing."
"I have an idea," said Bernard.
Balz rubbed his sore ribs. "All right, let's hear your stupid idea.." Balz grumbled
Bernard laid tge magic carpet on the captain's bunk. "Herr Kaleun. You should take this carpet back and trade it in for a flying submarine."
"You piece of worthless barnacle." Balz grabbed Bernard by the throat and shook him."If Hitler wanted me to have a flying submarine he would have given me command of
a submarine that flies."
Lt. Werner Schnitzel scratched his ear." flying submarines would only be effective against flying convoys. As far as I know the British have not yet invented flying convoys"

Bernard thought he would take advantage of Werner Schnitzel's stupidity. "Herr Kaleun I should go topside to be on the lookout of flying convoys and making sure you are the first to be aware of their presense. in the viscinity.

"Ya, Bernard, be ready for possible flying convoys., and you lot. He pointed c at the men su surrounding him, "prepare another flying carpet flight.

[Jimbuna]

[Brag]

Balz finished hammering and stepped back to admire his handy work. "Magic carpet on the wall, who is the greatest skipper in the world?
The choir of U-123sang. It's Balz who makes torpedoes walz, Balz, Balz, Balz.".
With the magic carpet firmly nailed to the bulkhead Balz felt better. There was no further need to take carpet flying lessons. He would let the Luftwaffe worry about carpet bombing.

"Now, men, prepare to get underway, We will go into the thick of the great tonnage game. That is serious business, choir, practice your Mexican songs so that the Brits mistake us for a mariachi boat and scratch their heads in awed wonder and reverence over the meaning of ay yay yay."



Next Balz adventure brewing