Off to War (BALZ)

[Brag]

The Diary of Lt. Schmenk.

Stuck in Headquarters I was afraid I would miss the war. This would have been disastrous for my career, as in the Kriegsmarine command positions are given with preference to those with combat experience. Graduating top of the class at the Naval Academy turned out a detriment as it landed me the job of aide to Doenitz. It took some serious campaigning and a letter from my father, the admiral, to get assigned to a front line U-boat.

On 29 October 1939, the train arrived late in Wilhelmshaven and after dark. Getting out of the station was complicated by the blackout. Before heading for the naval base, I helped an old lady find her nephew's house. It was getting late enough, that I could miss dinner.

For being wartime, the base was quiet. My footsteps echoed against darkened buildings. Soon I found the transient officers quarters. After fighting with the blackout curtains and getting my cap pulled off, I entered the reception and was blinded by the light. I picked up the cap off the floor and dusted it while an amused, old porter watched me from behind a counter.

"Lieutenant Schmenk?" he asked.
"Yes."
"I have an urgent message for you, You are to report to 2nd. Flotilla immediately on arrival."

Fortunately the flotilla offices were a few steps away. The flotilla adjutant, a pale-looking kapitan leutnant did not even offer me a chair. "The first watch officer of U-45 is in sickbay down with pneumonia," he said in a disgusted tone, " and you are late. The boat is on dock 3B. Report there immediately. Here are your orders, dismissed."

Somewhat upset by the curt treatment, I left and picked up my luggage. Guided by the sounds of a band it was easy to find my new home.

Instead of lining the rail, the deck crew was twirling. After watching this spectacle for a few seconds, I noticed my jaw had dropped.

"Are you Schmenk?" a voice boomed from the conning tower.
"Yes, sir," I went aboard, left my luggage on deck and climbed onto the bridge. I saluted the Lt. z.S. and got a slap on the back in return.
"I am Balz, soon to become the Kriegsmarine's greatest hero- Welcome aboard." He handed me a little booklet. "This is your hoochie woochie song book. Learn it."
Feeling a bit strange, I stuck the booklet into my pocket.
"Let go springs and fore and aft. Electric motors both ahead slow together." Balz ordered.

Once outside the harbor, we started the diesels and Gruber, the second watch officer, took the con.

To my surprise, the zentrale deck was covered with oriental carpets and there was a festive atmosphere inside the submarine. The crew, all wore party hats, even the Kaleun who wore a chicken tea cozy and a burgundy smoking jacket festooned with medals.

"Caviar and champagne, old chap, or do you prefer a Schnapps?" Balz asked as he led the way to the officer's nook. Balz motioned at the table covered with various dishes attractively decorated. "I recruited a chef from the Hotel Kempinski in Berlin as our cook. It pays to be rich."
"Where did you get all the medals?" I asked.
"In the bazaars of Surabaya, Micanpalam, Calcutta, Basra. Pretty impressive, no?"
"Yes," I said at loss for words.
"Let me show you around my sumbie, then we'll sit down and eat and have something for the liver." Balz chuckled.

The boat was a standard type VII and Balz said we were heading for BE 31. We returned to the officers' nook.

The elegant food arrangement was no longer. Every fork, knife and spoon had been used and the table looked like the morning after the party.

A loud fart resounded under the table.
"Oh," Balz said. "I forgot to introduce you to Bernard."

[Jimbuna]

"This is your hoochie woochie song book. Learn it."

LOL

[Gerald]

Originally Posted by Brag

The Diary of Lt. Schmenk.

Stuck in Headquarters I was afraid I would miss the war. This would have been disastrous for my career, as in the Kriegsmarine command positions are given with preference to those with combat experience. Graduating top of the class at the Naval Academy turned out a detriment as it landed me the job of aide to Doenitz. It took some serious campaigning and a letter from my father, the admiral, to get assigned to a front line U-boat.

On 29 October 1939, the train arrived late in Wilhelmshaven and after dark. Getting out of the station was complicated by the blackout. Before heading for the naval base, I helped an old lady find her nephew's house. It was getting late enough, that I could miss dinner.

For being wartime, the base was quiet. My footsteps echoed against darkened buildings. Soon I found the transient officers quarters. After fighting with the blackout curtains and getting my cap pulled off, I entered the reception and was blinded by the light. I picked up the cap off the floor and dusted it while an amused, old porter watched me from behind a counter.

"Lieutenant Schmenk?" he asked.
"Yes."
"I have an urgent message for you, You are to report to 2nd. Flotilla immediately on arrival."

Fortunately the flotilla offices were a few steps away. The flotilla adjutant, a pale-looking kapitan leutnant did not even offer me a chair. "The first watch officer of U-45 is in sickbay down with pneumonia," he said in a disgusted tone, " and you are late. The boat is on dock 3B. Report there immediately. Here are your orders, dismissed."

Somewhat upset by the curt treatment, I left and picked up my luggage. Guided by the sounds of a band it was easy to find my new home.

Instead of lining the rail, the deck crew was twirling. After watching this spectacle for a few seconds, I noticed my jaw had dropped.

"Are you Schmenk?" a voice boomed from the conning tower.
"Yes, sir," I went aboard, left my luggage on deck and climbed onto the bridge. I saluted the Lt. z.S. and got a slap on the back in return.
"I am Balz, soon to become the Kriegsmarine's greatest hero- Welcome aboard." He handed me a little booklet. "This is your hoochie woochie song book. Learn it."
Feeling a bit strange, I stuck the booklet into my pocket.
"Let go springs and fore and aft. Electric motors both ahead slow together." Balz ordered.

Once outside the harbor, we started the diesels and Gruber, the second watch officer, took the con.

To my surprise, the zentrale deck was covered with oriental carpets and there was a festive atmosphere inside the submarine. The crew, all wore party hats, even the Kaleun who wore a chicken tea cozy and a burgundy smoking jacket festooned with medals.

"Caviar and champagne, old chap, or do you prefer a Schnapps?" Balz asked as he led the way to the officer's nook. Balz motioned at the table covered with various dishes attractively decorated. "I recruited a chef from the Hotel Kempinski in Berlin as our cook. It pays to be rich."
"Where did you get all the medals?" I asked.
"In the bazaars of Surabaya, Micanpalam, Calcutta, Basra. Pretty impressive, no?"
"Yes," I said at loss for words.
"Let me show you around my sumbie, then we'll sit down and eat and have something for the liver." Balz chuckled.

The boat was a standard type VII and Balz said we were heading for BE 31. We returned to the officers' nook.

The elegant food arrangement was no longer. Every fork, knife and spoon had been used and the table looked like the morning after the party.

A loud fart resounded under the table.
"Oh," Balz said. "I forgot to introduce you to Bernard."

yesterday was some strange frog fallacy,and today sounds more like mentally,pervert pirate song.So move on sailor,however BDU are informed,

[Sailor Steve]

Bernard breaks barriers blocking Balz's breathless bravery!

Newsreel next weekend!

[Herr-Berbunch]

Welcome back Balz, the Atlantic has missed your additions to it's depths...

Talking or Bernard, I think I may have married his sister - Bernardette, the wife left a tap running in the kitchen sink (no overflow!) and flooded the kitchen last night. Good job she's just a little woman and nowhere near this man's Kriegsmarine!

[Brag]

Originally Posted by Herr-Berbunch

Welcome back Balz, the Atlantic has missed your additions to it's depths...

Talking or Bernard, I think I may have married his sister - Bernardette, the wife left a tap running in the kitchen sink (no overflow!) and flooded the kitchen last night. Good job she's just a little woman and nowhere near this man's Kriegsmarine!

And no one was pinging or kabooming you?

[Jimbuna]

Originally Posted by Brag

And no one was pinging or kabooming you?

Have you checked the tins in the stores area yet?