04 September 1939 First Blood (BALZ)

[Brag]

TO: BDU
FROM: U-45 Balz

To my commander, greetings and hi to Hitler
Since we are at war, I regret to inform you we have sunk a tanker of 3,000 BRT. It was a nice tanker before I conducted a masterful submerged attack to become a hero of the Kriegsmarine. Now, the tanker is a wreck on the first day of war without peace.

END
Balz

As the radioman sent the message, 2nd watch officer Roland Gwitzheld wrote in his personal diary.

We were submerged whrn the soundman reported a contact of a vessel approaching. Balz immediately cancelled choir practice and sent everyone to action stations singing the hoochie-woochie.

We remained submerged as we were in a perfect attack position.

When the target was at 020 RB and 600 meters, Balz fired two torpedoes.
The stop watch ran its time.
"If I knew how to say merde alors in japanese while speaking French I´d say we missed."
"We got two good hits, her Kaleun," the soundman said.
Balz fired two more torpedoes. He then turned away from the periscope. "Filthy duds," he shouted.
Bernard shook his head. "Those weren´t duds," he said as a torpedo exploded.
"There was no kaboom. Those first two torpedoes were duds."
" No duds," Bernard insisted.
"Yes, duds," Balz shook his fist.
"No duds."
"Then what were they?"
"They were practice torpedoes, Herr Kaleun."
"How do you know?"
"I loaded them myself." Bernard said with a smug expression on his face.
"Wa...wa ... what? Red in the face, Balz grabbed Bernard by the throat. "Why did you do that, you moron?
"So we could practice while on patrol. You have said yourself, practice makes perfect."