Royal Navy Stops BALZ!

[Brag]

The warm water of the Persian Gulf was mirror calm. Balz sat on deck smoking a cigar. Aladin kept him cool with a large ostrich feather fan.

Three miles away, a dark shape emerged out of the noonday mist. Balz brought his glasses up to his eyes. “It’s a buggering, bothersome, blighting, British bumboat.”
“Bumboat?” Ali Baba asked.
“A gunboat with a B.” Balz explained as he knocked cigar ash over the side. He looked at his watch. How inconvenient, just before lunch.” After a long, mournful sigh, he commanded, “On deck the action stations gong.”
Two Nubians brought out the large gong. The third Nubian called Ali Rank hit the gong with his gong banger.
The reverberating sound brought out the belly dancers, the Forty Thieves and the Seven Peelers of Wisdom, all ready for action.

The British gunboat approached at high speed.

“Dance the Hot Day on the Gulf Hoochie-woochie,” Balz ordered.
“We are in deep trouble,” Ali Baba said.
“We’ve had the green banana,” Aladin added.

“Stop and prepare to be boarded,” an amplified voice boomed from the gunboat’s bridge.
“We can’t stop, In nautical terms this is called we are becalmed.” Balz responded. “You should have ordered us to stay becalmed.”

The gunboat slowed as it closed the dhow.
“What’s your name?” Balz asked.
“We are the Royal Navy.”
“I can see that, you twit. I asked for yourrrr given name so that I can report it to your CO and he will give you a royal bullocking.”
“What for? I am on an official anti pirate patrol.”
Balz pointed to the north. Pirates are that way. We are on a purposely peaceful, placid, pacific cruise.”
The voice answered, “There is nothing placid about those belly dancers.”
“They are hot, straight from Cairo, ready to dance in Persian magic style with Japanese subtitles.”
“I don’t need Japanese subtitles.”
“Then go away—Sayonara!”




The situation is desperate. Will the Royal Navy capture and hang Balz?

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