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Old 09-02-09, 03:20 PM   #1
Brag
Navy Seal
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Docked on a Russian pond
Posts: 7,072
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Island Farewell (BALZ)

Lt. Fritz Gwitz writes.



Under the splendor of a golden and pink tropical dawn, one hundred and twelve pirates squeezed into Balz’s bedroom. They lifted him off his bed and carried him outside.

“What is this?” Balz asked, “another admiration ceremony of my greatness?”

“Bwa, ha,ha,” Sandokan laughed. “Your greatness attracts the British. Your laying in bed on this island has become a layability. Bwa, ha, ha.”
The hundred and twelve pirates roared, “Aaaarrrgghh,” and carried Balz to the jetty.
“Hey,” Balz shouted, “liability? I taught you modern piracy 101. I taught you the hoochie woochie.”

“Good bye, Balz,” Sandokan said.
The pirates dumped our great hero into a boat. Sandokan again displayed his loud laughter. “I give you three days head start before I do the tap
tap, tap, on the new wireless key and the Royal navy receives it as did, did, dah, dit, di dah dit.’
The Malay pirates did their did did dah dit dance.
Seeing that he was no longer welcome, Balz said. “You may as well let me bring my gold.”
“Your gold got hijacked by some dastardly pirates. We’ll try to find it and mail it to you. Send us a post card.”
It was obvious he wouldn’t get anywhere arguing with Sandokan or trying to talk some sense to one hundred and twelve pirates, Balz stepped the mast and raised the mainsail of his new boat. “Do you speak Japanese?” he asked Sandokan.
“I don’t,” answered the pirate.
Balz tightened the main sheet. The sail caught the fresh morning wind. Balz waved. “Ciao, that means Sayonara in Italian..” The boat gathered speed. Balz raised the jib, set the sails for a wide reach and headed southwest.

That night, Balz returned to the pirate’s island. He snuck back to his room, took a few gold bars and put them in his pockets. He then went into the salon, where he stole two bottles of Sandokan’s best cognac and two large tins of beluga caviar.

After writing a thank you note, he picked up a revolver and a cutlass as he was saying farewell to the island, not farewell to arms.



Next Week, Balz of Arabia
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