A British Cruiser (Balz)

[Brag]

Lt. Fritz Gwitz writes:


‘
In the last chapter we left Balz in a sticky, sticky situation. Royal Marines found guns aboard Balz’s pirahu.


“Industrial oyster openers?” The Marine sergeant laughed. “Don’t take me for a fool, you treacherous pirate scum.”
Balz raised his arms in hopeless gesture. “I’ll give up then,” He turned to face his crew. “They will surrender, see you later.”
“Where are you going?” The sergeant asked as Balz headed aft.
“I’m going to my cabin, it’s lunch time.”
“You’re going nowhere, you vermin of the sea.”
“You want me to surrender, too?”
“Yes, in the name of the King, you are under arrest.”
“Do you speak Japanese?”
“No, why?” The sergeant said with bad humor on his breath.
“I want to surrender in Japanese.”
“You will surrender in the King’s English.”
Seeing that the sergeant was not a multilingual genius, Balz had an idea. This wonderful idea was going to save them all from the gallows. ‘I need to get my surrendering kit and my Teddy bear.”
“Teddy bear?”
“Yes. I have my own Teddy, where is yours?”
The Sergeant looked around as if searching for pick pockets. “I don’t need a Teddy, I’m a Marine.”
Balz shook his head. “You don’t know what you’re missing.” Balz said not thinking of Teddy bears at all. He was thinking of the day in Scapa Flow when they scuttled the German High Seas Battle Fleet.
“I’ll be right back with my surrendering kit.” Balz went into his cabin. He quickly took a string out of his cupboard, a detonator and a bomb. He placed everything into a handbag and went out again. He raised the bag above his head. “See, my overnight surrender kit. I am always ready for any eventuality. Do you speak Japanese?”
“How many times must I tell you I don’t speak Japanese?”
“Sayonara,” Balz said. I will swim over and surrender to your admiral.”
“We have a commodore.
"Promote him quickly because I surrender to admirals only.” Balz made an elegant swan dive and swam toward the British cruiser.

Then meters away from the cruiser, Balz dove. He knew where was a ship’s weakest point. Our hero went, deep letting air out of his lungs. Under the hull he looked for the water intake of the heat exchanger. It took him a few moments to find it. He took the bomb and tied it to the grille that prevented rubbish to enter the meter wide pipe and the plumbing that cooled the ship’s machinery. He set the fuse and swam back to the surface.

“Hey, what are you doing,” A sailor asked Balz.
“Checking your hull for barnacles.” Balz used a slow, elegant Australian crawl to swim back to his ship.
“We’re going to hang you regardless where you surrender,” a voice yelled. So quit clowning around.”

The explosion was not much more than a burp in the water, Balz noted with satisfaction. The main force of the explosion went inside the cruiser’s engine room. It would only take a few minutes for the engine room to flood.

“Toss me a line,” Balz demanded.
The sergeant tossed Balz a line. “We’re gonna hang you with this.”

An alarm bell rang aboard the cruiser.
Balz returned on deck of his ship.
Steam hissed out of one of the cruiser’s three stacks.
More alarms rang.
The Marines turned to see what was happening with the cruiser.
Balz grabbed the cutlass from one of the pirates and placed it against the Sergeant’s neck. “Tell your men to drop their guns or I’ll make sliced Bologna out of your neck.”
“Drop your rifles, lads,” the sergeant said.
A deep boom came from the cruiser’s innards. Rubbish flew out of the number two stack. A plate buckled on the hull releasing a cloud of steam.

Balz said, “That kaboom had hoochie woochie.”





There are three British ships left. Will they cream Balz?

Sign in next week to find out.

[coronas]

“That kaboom had hoochie woochie”

[Betonov]

the heat excange intake is that dangerous
I'll have to see my boss about this so that we stop mounting heat excanger intakes on our yachts. Hope he doesnt ask me where I got this idea

[Laufen zum Ziel]

Bad, Bad. kaboom. I see more to come.

[Jimbuna]

They'll soon be bailing out

[Sailor Steve]

I couldn't read this one. Could you write it in Japanese?

[Brag]

Originally Posted by Sailor Steve

I couldn't read this one. Could you write it in Japanese?

Okay.
Will write a French version, which you can translate to Japanese after reading it in German.

[Sailor Steve]

Will that translation come before or after the Arabian one, which came before the Italian one, which came after the Arabian one?

[papa_smurf]

“Yes. I have my own Teddy, where is yours?”

I need a teddy !

[Red Heat]

Balz said, “That kaboom had hoochie woochie.”

[Brag]

Originally Posted by Sailor Steve

Will that translation come before or after the Arabian one, which came before the Italian one, which came after the Arabian one?

Steve,
You don't know how close you got here.

Coming soon:

Balz of Arabia!