Secret Of The Sextant (BALZ)

Brag · 06-04-09, 04:09 PM

Lt. Fritz Gwitz writes:

It was the forth week of the voyage of the Dowly Maiden. The great ship, with all its sails up sailed briskly under the power of the Tradewinds.

Balz, the enterprising, brave, and brilliant seaman admired the fine wood paneling in the captain’s quarters. He particularly liked the brass chronometer and barometer attached to the bulkhead. With envy, his gaze settled on a sextant case with a brass plaque saying Cptain Nonschmops Kapop.

The captain entered, looked at Balz. His face became red. “What are you doing here?” he bellowed.

“I am checking out to see what to expect when I’m a captain,” Balz answered.

“You can expect I knocka da rust out of you—Out!” The captain pointed at the door.

Our protagonist being the clever man that he was, did not tell the captain he had hidden the Nautical Almanac and Sight Reduction Tables under his sweater. He left the cabin and went back to his knocka rust station.

As the ship headed south, Balz observed the first mate do his daily noon meridian passage of the sun and give the Captain the daily position report.

With the aid of a protractor, Balz fashioned a primitive device out of cardboard, with which he could measure the altitude of Polaris, the North Star and that way establish latitude.

This worked for Balz until approaching the Equator. After that, he thought he was in the same situation as Vasco da Gama.

To solve this problem, Balz would buy a sextant when he got paid reaching Adelaide.

The Dowly Maiden rounded the Cape of Good Hope and sailed east on the Great Southern Ocean, The captain kept all sails up despite the high winds and the ship made good time to reach Australia.

After offloading the cargo of coal and washing the holds, the crew lined up to get paid.

Balz approached the captain and extended his hand.

The captain counted, “One, two, three, four, five pounds—Next”
“Hey, is that all I get?” Balz asked. He was pretty sure that a sextant would cost mare than five pounds.

“Shaddapa yer mouth—Next!”

Thoroughly disappointed and dejected, the great future hero of the Kriegsmarine stumbled to the port side of the ship and considered jumping overboard and drowing. He was looking around for some ballast to tie to his legs, when he saw an Australian destroyer heading at full speed toward the exit of the harbor.

He looked at the wake the destroyer was leaving behind. A flash of inspiration hit him.

While the officers watched the crew getting paid, Balz scurried into the captain’s quarters, removed the bar that kept the captain’s sextant secured on a shelf and quickly got out.

The wake of the destroyer hit the Dowly Maiden with a splashy roar and rocked the sailing vessel. A crash sounded inside the captain’s cabin.

“What was that?” the captain asked, got up from the pay table and went to his cabin. In a few seconds a scream shot from inside. “Miserable Australians wrecked my sextant.”

“I will take it into town and have it checked. Balz volunteered.
“Good idea, you do that.”

Balz went into town. He quickly found a pawnshop. He pawned the German made Platt sextant for twenty five pounds. He then went to a chart and nautical instruments shop. There, he found a used Dutch sextant, which, after a lot of haggling, the merchant let Balz have for twenty five pounds.

Balz returned to the ship and and gave the captain the pawn shop receipt. “You can pick it up any time tomorrow,” Balz said, “Adios, and knocka rust.

The sun was setting below a gold painted sky. Balz strode down the dock singing, “Balz is a great hoochie-woochie.” He carried all his belongings inside a sock.

Task Force · 06-04-09, 04:14 PM

anouther good one Brag... But the boats name. The Dowly maiden.:rotfl:
And relation to are finnish friend dowly.

Brag · 06-04-09, 04:18 PM

It's a Finnish boat, so , oh well

Task Force · 06-04-09, 04:31 PM

lol... Dowly has a boat named after him.:rotfl:

sunvalleyslim · 06-04-09, 05:46 PM

Hey TaskForce, I think it's a ship.......only small vessels and Submarines are called Boats.....

Brag,
So why did Balz buy a Dutch Sextant? Are they better than German ones?

OrangeYoshi · 06-04-09, 05:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sunvalleyslim

So why did Balz buy a Dutch Sextant? Are they better than German ones?

Although I'm not the author, I would suspect that the Dutch one, being used and older, might have not have been in perfect condition. That would've dropped the price.

Brag · 06-04-09, 05:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sunvalleyslim

Hey TaskForce, I think it's a ship.......only small vessels and Submarines are called Boats.....

Brag,
So why did Balz buy a Dutch Sextant? Are they better than German ones?

Dutch sextants lack the reputation of a German Platt and ar least used to sell for a lot less. With a very plain grab-handle, they looked somewhat rustic. They were/maybe are a perfectly good instrument.

Highbury · 06-04-09, 05:58 PM

Well it was wind powered, you need 3 masts to technically be called a ship for sailing vessels. He did say "The Great Ship" however so I would assume she fits

Good one and thank you Brag!

papa_smurf · 06-05-09, 05:41 AM

Quote:

“Miserable Australians wrecked my sextant.”

Todays lesson - never trust the Royal Australian Navy

Sledgehammer427 · 06-05-09, 06:10 AM

hilarious

Jimbuna · 06-05-09, 10:32 AM

Quote:

He carried all his belongings inside a sock.

:rotfl:

bookworm_020 · 06-06-09, 07:04 AM

You mean that the Australian navy helped Baz????

Keelhaul!!!

06-04-09, 04:09 PM	#1
Brag Navy Seal Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Docked on a Russian pond Posts: 7,072 Downloads: 2 Uploads: 0	Secret Of The Sextant (BALZ) Lt. Fritz Gwitz writes: It was the forth week of the voyage of the Dowly Maiden. The great ship, with all its sails up sailed briskly under the power of the Tradewinds. Balz, the enterprising, brave, and brilliant seaman admired the fine wood paneling in the captain’s quarters. He particularly liked the brass chronometer and barometer attached to the bulkhead. With envy, his gaze settled on a sextant case with a brass plaque saying Cptain Nonschmops Kapop. The captain entered, looked at Balz. His face became red. “What are you doing here?” he bellowed. “I am checking out to see what to expect when I’m a captain,” Balz answered. “You can expect I knocka da rust out of you—Out!” The captain pointed at the door. Our protagonist being the clever man that he was, did not tell the captain he had hidden the Nautical Almanac and Sight Reduction Tables under his sweater. He left the cabin and went back to his knocka rust station. As the ship headed south, Balz observed the first mate do his daily noon meridian passage of the sun and give the Captain the daily position report. With the aid of a protractor, Balz fashioned a primitive device out of cardboard, with which he could measure the altitude of Polaris, the North Star and that way establish latitude. This worked for Balz until approaching the Equator. After that, he thought he was in the same situation as Vasco da Gama. To solve this problem, Balz would buy a sextant when he got paid reaching Adelaide. The Dowly Maiden rounded the Cape of Good Hope and sailed east on the Great Southern Ocean, The captain kept all sails up despite the high winds and the ship made good time to reach Australia. After offloading the cargo of coal and washing the holds, the crew lined up to get paid. Balz approached the captain and extended his hand. The captain counted, “One, two, three, four, five pounds—Next” “Hey, is that all I get?” Balz asked. He was pretty sure that a sextant would cost mare than five pounds. “Shaddapa yer mouth—Next!” Thoroughly disappointed and dejected, the great future hero of the Kriegsmarine stumbled to the port side of the ship and considered jumping overboard and drowing. He was looking around for some ballast to tie to his legs, when he saw an Australian destroyer heading at full speed toward the exit of the harbor. He looked at the wake the destroyer was leaving behind. A flash of inspiration hit him. While the officers watched the crew getting paid, Balz scurried into the captain’s quarters, removed the bar that kept the captain’s sextant secured on a shelf and quickly got out. The wake of the destroyer hit the Dowly Maiden with a splashy roar and rocked the sailing vessel. A crash sounded inside the captain’s cabin. “What was that?” the captain asked, got up from the pay table and went to his cabin. In a few seconds a scream shot from inside. “Miserable Australians wrecked my sextant.” “I will take it into town and have it checked. Balz volunteered. “Good idea, you do that.” Balz went into town. He quickly found a pawnshop. He pawned the German made Platt sextant for twenty five pounds. He then went to a chart and nautical instruments shop. There, he found a used Dutch sextant, which, after a lot of haggling, the merchant let Balz have for twenty five pounds. Balz returned to the ship and and gave the captain the pawn shop receipt. “You can pick it up any time tomorrow,” Balz said, “Adios, and knocka rust. The sun was setting below a gold painted sky. Balz strode down the dock singing, “Balz is a great hoochie-woochie.” He carried all his belongings inside a sock. __________________ Espionage, adventure, suspense, are just a click away Click here to look inside Brag's book: Amazon.com: Kingmaker: Alexey Braguine: Books Order Kingmaker here: http://www.subsim.com/store.html For Tactics visit:http://www.freewebs.com/kielman/

06-04-09, 04:14 PM	#2
Task Force Rear Admiral Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: SPACE!!!! Posts: 10,142 Downloads: 85 Uploads: 0	anouther good one Brag... But the boats name. The Dowly maiden.:rotfl: And relation to are finnish friend dowly. __________________ Task Force industries "Taking control of the world, one mind at a time"

06-04-09, 04:18 PM	#3
Brag Navy Seal Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Docked on a Russian pond Posts: 7,072 Downloads: 2 Uploads: 0	It's a Finnish boat, so , oh well __________________ Espionage, adventure, suspense, are just a click away Click here to look inside Brag's book: Amazon.com: Kingmaker: Alexey Braguine: Books Order Kingmaker here: http://www.subsim.com/store.html For Tactics visit:http://www.freewebs.com/kielman/

06-04-09, 04:31 PM	#4
Task Force Rear Admiral Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: SPACE!!!! Posts: 10,142 Downloads: 85 Uploads: 0	lol... Dowly has a boat named after him.:rotfl: __________________ Task Force industries "Taking control of the world, one mind at a time"

06-04-09, 05:46 PM	#5
sunvalleyslim Ace of the Deep Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Los Angeles, Ca Posts: 1,142 Downloads: 267 Uploads: 0	Hey TaskForce, I think it's a ship.......only small vessels and Submarines are called Boats..... Brag, So why did Balz buy a Dutch Sextant? Are they better than German ones? __________________ Crew member/ decommission member TM2(SS)(SD) 3/68-7/70 DIESEL BOATS FOREVER USS SEGUNDO (SS398)

06-04-09, 05:58 PM	#8
Highbury The Old Man Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: 51.557, -0.102 Posts: 1,311 Downloads: 177 Uploads: 0	Well it was wind powered, you need 3 masts to technically be called a ship for sailing vessels. He did say "The Great Ship" however so I would assume she fits Good one and thank you Brag!

06-05-09, 06:10 AM	#10
Sledgehammer427 PacWagon Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Drinking coffee and staring at trees in Massachusetts Posts: 2,908 Downloads: 287 Uploads: 0	hilarious __________________ Cold Waters Voice Crew - Fire Control Officer Cmdr O. Myers - C/O USS Nautilus (SS-168) 114,000 tons sunk - 4 Spec Ops completed V-boat Nutcase - Need supplies? Japanese garrison on a small island in the way? Just give us a call! D4C!

06-06-09, 07:04 AM	#12
bookworm_020 Navy Seal Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Sinking ships off the Australian coast Posts: 5,966 Downloads: 1 Uploads: 0	You mean that the Australian navy helped Baz???? Keelhaul!!! __________________ "There is always one person in any organization who knows whats going on, That person must be fired"