Balz finds a ship

Brag · 05-21-09, 10:08 AM

BALZ FINDS A SHIP

Lt. Fritz Gwitz writes.

After the failure of the Beer Hall Putsch, Hitler and his entourage were tossed in jail. By using his brilliant intellect, Balz donned the sailor suit his mother bought him when he was 10 years old. When the police came to arrest him, Balz said, “Arrest my father, he is a big Nazi evil doer.”
“He should be arrested for buying you such a small sailor suit,” a policeman said.
“Now, keep moving, and stay away from those big nasty Nazis.”

Balz thought the policeman’s advice was good. He snuck into a train and went north to Cuxhaffen , where in his sailor suit that was so tight that it made him squeak, he would blend into the nautical background of a port city.

To earn money for meals, Balz twirled and sang the hoochie woochie. While gyrating at the Banhoff Platz, his tight sailor suit trousers ripped. This ended Balz’s blending into the nautical background and made him target of police attention.
“Hey, you!” a potato-faced policeman yelled. “You are under arrest for indecent exposure.”

Balz took off, running toward the harbor where he would blend better against the nautical background. He ran faster than the mob of cops chasing him.

Balz saw three masts as he approached the docks. That was good nautical background. The three-masted bark looked trim and ready to sail. A man in a sailor suit would look natural on board a sailing ship. Balz ran up the gangway to better blend in the nautical background.

“You, what are you doing here?” A harsh voice roared over the din of paint chippers banging against metal.

“The po… the po, the popo,” Balz said out of breath.
“Ja. You show off your popo, the police is bound to nail you.” The man handed Balz a paint chipper. “Now you go knocka rust.”

Balz got busy chipping at a rusty corner of the bulwarks and thought he looked part of the nautical scene.

The police arrived at the foot of the gangway. “We are looking for a bare-arsed pervert dressed in a child’s sailor suit.”

“Um,” the ship’s mate scratched his chin, then spat out chewing tobacco. “Perverts are that way.” He pointed at an Egyptian tramp steamer.
The policemen headed in the direction the mate pointed.
“Thank you,” Balz said.
“You shadappa yer mouth and knocka-rust or I knocka da rust out of you,” the mate said. He turned to face the forecastle. You men there, stoppa knocka-rust and pass the hawser to the tug.. Starboard watch, stoppa knocka-rust. Aloft! His attention returned to Balz. “You idiot find yourself a pair of trousers or I knocka rust outta you. Then climb aloft with the starboard watch.”
On the bridge, the captain said something to the chief mate. Through a bull horn, the chief mate yelled, “Let go, fore and aft.”
Balz headed for the door under the bridge where he thought he would find the captain’s cabin.
“You, idiot. Where do you think you are going?” the mate bellowed.
“I will get some quality trousers suitable for a grand seaman like myself.”
“What?” the captain roared.

What will happen next to the future hero of the Kriegsmarine? The next installment of Balz’s adventures, RETURN TO SEA, coming soon.

I-25 · 05-21-09, 12:17 PM

:rotfl:

popo

sunvalleyslim · 05-21-09, 03:26 PM

"potato faced policeman"?...........

Rhodes · 05-21-09, 03:33 PM

I liked more this one:

"The police arrived at the foot of the gangway. “We are looking for a bare-arsed pervert dressed in a child’s sailor suit.”

“Um,” the ship’s mate scratched his chin, then spat out chewing tobacco. “Perverts are that way.” He pointed at an Egyptian tramp steamer."

:rotfl::rotfl:

Task Force · 05-21-09, 03:33 PM

Anouther great addition to the balz collection Brag.

bookworm_020 · 05-21-09, 07:53 PM

Maybe the next installment should be called "Baz sinks a ship!"

coronas · 05-22-09, 02:03 AM

Really it' s a nautical background scene.

papa_smurf · 05-22-09, 05:43 AM

Quote:

“You, idiot. Where do you think you are going?” the mate bellowed.

“I will get some quality trousers suitable for a grand seaman like myself.”

I see Balz's grand delusions started early in his career.

Jimbuna · 05-22-09, 02:51 PM

Quote:

“Um,” the ship’s mate scratched his chin, then spat out chewing tobacco. “Perverts are that way.” He pointed at an Egyptian tramp steamer."

Absolute class :rotfl:

Brag · 05-23-09, 07:57 AM

Thanks for the kind words, Kaleuns

05-21-09, 10:08 AM	#1
Brag Navy Seal Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Docked on a Russian pond Posts: 7,072 Downloads: 2 Uploads: 0	Balz finds a ship BALZ FINDS A SHIP Lt. Fritz Gwitz writes. After the failure of the Beer Hall Putsch, Hitler and his entourage were tossed in jail. By using his brilliant intellect, Balz donned the sailor suit his mother bought him when he was 10 years old. When the police came to arrest him, Balz said, “Arrest my father, he is a big Nazi evil doer.” “He should be arrested for buying you such a small sailor suit,” a policeman said. “Now, keep moving, and stay away from those big nasty Nazis.” Balz thought the policeman’s advice was good. He snuck into a train and went north to Cuxhaffen , where in his sailor suit that was so tight that it made him squeak, he would blend into the nautical background of a port city. To earn money for meals, Balz twirled and sang the hoochie woochie. While gyrating at the Banhoff Platz, his tight sailor suit trousers ripped. This ended Balz’s blending into the nautical background and made him target of police attention. “Hey, you!” a potato-faced policeman yelled. “You are under arrest for indecent exposure.” Balz took off, running toward the harbor where he would blend better against the nautical background. He ran faster than the mob of cops chasing him. Balz saw three masts as he approached the docks. That was good nautical background. The three-masted bark looked trim and ready to sail. A man in a sailor suit would look natural on board a sailing ship. Balz ran up the gangway to better blend in the nautical background. “You, what are you doing here?” A harsh voice roared over the din of paint chippers banging against metal. “The po… the po, the popo,” Balz said out of breath. “Ja. You show off your popo, the police is bound to nail you.” The man handed Balz a paint chipper. “Now you go knocka rust.” Balz got busy chipping at a rusty corner of the bulwarks and thought he looked part of the nautical scene. The police arrived at the foot of the gangway. “We are looking for a bare-arsed pervert dressed in a child’s sailor suit.” “Um,” the ship’s mate scratched his chin, then spat out chewing tobacco. “Perverts are that way.” He pointed at an Egyptian tramp steamer. The policemen headed in the direction the mate pointed. “Thank you,” Balz said. “You shadappa yer mouth and knocka-rust or I knocka da rust out of you,” the mate said. He turned to face the forecastle. You men there, stoppa knocka-rust and pass the hawser to the tug.. Starboard watch, stoppa knocka-rust. Aloft! His attention returned to Balz. “You idiot find yourself a pair of trousers or I knocka rust outta you. Then climb aloft with the starboard watch.” On the bridge, the captain said something to the chief mate. Through a bull horn, the chief mate yelled, “Let go, fore and aft.” Balz headed for the door under the bridge where he thought he would find the captain’s cabin. “You, idiot. Where do you think you are going?” the mate bellowed. “I will get some quality trousers suitable for a grand seaman like myself.” “What?” the captain roared. What will happen next to the future hero of the Kriegsmarine? The next installment of Balz’s adventures, RETURN TO SEA, coming soon. __________________ Espionage, adventure, suspense, are just a click away Click here to look inside Brag's book: Amazon.com: Kingmaker: Alexey Braguine: Books Order Kingmaker here: http://www.subsim.com/store.html For Tactics visit:http://www.freewebs.com/kielman/

05-21-09, 03:26 PM	#3
sunvalleyslim Ace of the Deep Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Los Angeles, Ca Posts: 1,142 Downloads: 267 Uploads: 0	"potato faced policeman"?........... __________________ Crew member/ decommission member TM2(SS)(SD) 3/68-7/70 DIESEL BOATS FOREVER USS SEGUNDO (SS398)

05-21-09, 03:33 PM	#4
Rhodes Silent Hunter Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Figueira da Foz, Portugal Posts: 4,515 Downloads: 110 Uploads: 0	I liked more this one: "The police arrived at the foot of the gangway. “We are looking for a bare-arsed pervert dressed in a child’s sailor suit.” “Um,” the ship’s mate scratched his chin, then spat out chewing tobacco. “Perverts are that way.” He pointed at an Egyptian tramp steamer." :rotfl::rotfl: __________________ http://www.flickr.com/photos/16416646@N05/

05-21-09, 03:33 PM	#5
Task Force Rear Admiral Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: SPACE!!!! Posts: 10,142 Downloads: 85 Uploads: 0	Anouther great addition to the balz collection Brag. __________________ Task Force industries "Taking control of the world, one mind at a time"

05-21-09, 07:53 PM	#6
bookworm_020 Navy Seal Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Sinking ships off the Australian coast Posts: 5,966 Downloads: 1 Uploads: 0	Maybe the next installment should be called "Baz sinks a ship!" __________________ "There is always one person in any organization who knows whats going on, That person must be fired"

05-21-09, 12:17 PM	#2
I-25 Commodore Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Bavaria, Germany Posts: 629 Downloads: 27 Uploads: 0	:rotfl: popo

05-22-09, 02:03 AM	#7
coronas Ace of the Deep Join Date: May 2005 Location: Asturias, España Posts: 1,168 Downloads: 39 Uploads: 0	Really it' s a nautical background scene. __________________

05-23-09, 07:57 AM	#10
Brag Navy Seal Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Docked on a Russian pond Posts: 7,072 Downloads: 2 Uploads: 0	Thanks for the kind words, Kaleuns __________________ Espionage, adventure, suspense, are just a click away Click here to look inside Brag's book: Amazon.com: Kingmaker: Alexey Braguine: Books Order Kingmaker here: http://www.subsim.com/store.html For Tactics visit:http://www.freewebs.com/kielman/