Commander Training (Balz)

Brag · 10-23-08, 04:13 PM

23 January 1941
Lt. Gwitz writes:

The shipyard does fantastic work. In two weeks our boat was ship-shape and ready to ship out. On 23 January 1941 Balz was also in fine shape and the crew was in fine shape ready to ship out, too. I was also in fine-shape and so was Bernard.

Balz asked, "are we in fine shape?"
"We are in fine shape, ready to ship out, Herr Kaleun," I answered.
Balz glanced at his watch. "We will ship out shortly. Goering cabled Doenitz wanting to know why Bernard doesn't have the command of a U-boat. Doenitz summoned me and told me to begin training Bernard so he can go to Komandantenschule." Balz turned to Bernard. "You will take your sorry self to the bridge, ring ahead slow and take this boat out of the harbor."
The crew, hurriedly put their life jackets on.

On the Bridge the sun shone warming the January afternoon.
"May I begin taking the boat out of the harbor, Herr Kaleun?" Bernard asked.
Balz made an expansive gesture, closed his eyes and shook his head. "You may proceed."
"Watch me drive this puppy," Bernard yelled at the crowd on the dock. He then rang for full speed ahead.
"You simple moron! Langsame fahrt voraus," Balz shouted.
The boat chief stuck his head out of the hatch. "Is that Bernard playing with the engine telegraph?"
"Give us turns for eight knots," Balz answered.
A few minutes later coached by Balz, Bernard managed to turn the boat toward the Port Luis Lighthouse.
"Now, follow the escort," Balz said.
"Is the escort going to go in front of me or will I go behind him?"
"Just follow the damn ship."
"I will let him go up front so he will be ahead and I will not go upfront so I can be behind of the escort who will escort us from up front and I will be to his rear in the number two position, while he is in the number one. If I go into the number one position I will no longer be able to follow him because he will be behind me and not up front, which means I will be up front. This is just like a convoy, one behind the other--got it."

"Is that ship leading or is it me following? Because--"
Balz removed his towel from his neck and jammed it into Bernard's mouth. "Now chew on this."

We went past the lighthouse. Balz took off his cap and waved it. "Like ancient sailors of bygone eras we sail past the pharos to cover me in glory and return home to great honors and fame. That is very hoochie woochie. Muster the choir on deck so they can sing the Glory to Balz march."

Bernard stopped chewing on the towel. "The escort is turning."
"What did you expect him to do, keep sailing onto the beach?"
"But if he's turning and am not turning I'm not following him, because I'm going straight and he is not going straight because he is turning and I'm not turning."
Balz turned to me and said, "Bring me a bucket and my umbrella."
In a few minutes I returned with the requested items and handed them to our commander. Balz placed the bucket on Bernard's head, and then hit it with the umbrella.
"Wasserbomben," Bernard said.

Brag's espionage suspense novel novel Kingmaker is only a click away. Check it out!

Sailor Steve · 10-23-08, 04:17 PM

I think Bernard needs to move up the ladder slowly. He needs to become 1WO before he can move on.

Kalb just got his own command, didn't he? He might need a 'good' first officer.

Task Force · 10-23-08, 04:29 PM

And if the british wernt giving us a hard engh time.

Anouther good one Brag.

bookworm_020 · 10-23-08, 05:05 PM

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

With Bernard in control of a U-Boat, Germany has no chance! I'm waiting to see how many of the crew put in for a transfer when Bernard is put in charge???:hmm:

TarJak · 10-23-08, 09:39 PM

Bernard gets put in charge of a U-boat every time I sit down to play the game.

papa_smurf · 10-24-08, 05:54 AM

Quote:

With Bernard in control of a U-Boat, Germany has no chance! I'm waiting to see how many of the crew put in for a transfer when Bernard is put in charge???:hmm:

Im guessing that the whole crew will put in for desk jobs.

U-46 Commander · 10-24-08, 09:23 AM

Ah...So my second cousin is going to be in charge of a u-boat eh? Well....good for him. I am suprised that Balz hasn't gotten fired yet. Or maybe he will be soon! And then Bernard will be in charge of his boat!! MUHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

KptLt. Bernard Von Awful Arch Rival of J.S. Balz and all around nasty guy.(I sink everything!

)

Schroeder · 10-24-08, 12:25 PM

I think with Bernard in charge the Royal Navy will be defeated. Bernard will surely take out entire convoys just by accident.

Jimbuna · 10-24-08, 02:12 PM

Task Force · 10-24-08, 02:20 PM

Thats a real good picture of you jumbuna.:rotfl:

Jimbuna · 10-24-08, 02:44 PM

I wish it were of you

Brag · 10-25-08, 07:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jimbuna

The bucketman cometh. :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Jimbuna · 10-25-08, 01:50 PM

LOL

Graf Paper · 10-25-08, 07:55 PM

Where would we be without you, Brag? It makes my day every time you publish an entry from the Leutnant's journal!

It would be fantastic if you could compile all of the Balz/Bernard stories into a single volume for everyone's reading enjoyment.

Brag · 10-25-08, 08:38 PM

Thanks for the kind words, Graf.

Lately, I 've been writing the stuff in word and have a Balz file. Something resembling a Balz book might be in the making.

Balz is becoming popular outside Subsim. I'm now posting a link to the current Balz story on a Washington Post Blog. Been getting nice comments from the "civilian" population.

10-23-08, 04:13 PM	#1
Brag Navy Seal Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Docked on a Russian pond Posts: 7,072 Downloads: 2 Uploads: 0	Commander Training (Balz) 23 January 1941 Lt. Gwitz writes: The shipyard does fantastic work. In two weeks our boat was ship-shape and ready to ship out. On 23 January 1941 Balz was also in fine shape and the crew was in fine shape ready to ship out, too. I was also in fine-shape and so was Bernard. Balz asked, "are we in fine shape?" "We are in fine shape, ready to ship out, Herr Kaleun," I answered. Balz glanced at his watch. "We will ship out shortly. Goering cabled Doenitz wanting to know why Bernard doesn't have the command of a U-boat. Doenitz summoned me and told me to begin training Bernard so he can go to Komandantenschule." Balz turned to Bernard. "You will take your sorry self to the bridge, ring ahead slow and take this boat out of the harbor." The crew, hurriedly put their life jackets on. On the Bridge the sun shone warming the January afternoon. "May I begin taking the boat out of the harbor, Herr Kaleun?" Bernard asked. Balz made an expansive gesture, closed his eyes and shook his head. "You may proceed." "Watch me drive this puppy," Bernard yelled at the crowd on the dock. He then rang for full speed ahead. "You simple moron! Langsame fahrt voraus," Balz shouted. The boat chief stuck his head out of the hatch. "Is that Bernard playing with the engine telegraph?" "Give us turns for eight knots," Balz answered. A few minutes later coached by Balz, Bernard managed to turn the boat toward the Port Luis Lighthouse. "Now, follow the escort," Balz said. "Is the escort going to go in front of me or will I go behind him?" "Just follow the damn ship." "I will let him go up front so he will be ahead and I will not go upfront so I can be behind of the escort who will escort us from up front and I will be to his rear in the number two position, while he is in the number one. If I go into the number one position I will no longer be able to follow him because he will be behind me and not up front, which means I will be up front. This is just like a convoy, one behind the other--got it." "Is that ship leading or is it me following? Because--" Balz removed his towel from his neck and jammed it into Bernard's mouth. "Now chew on this." We went past the lighthouse. Balz took off his cap and waved it. "Like ancient sailors of bygone eras we sail past the pharos to cover me in glory and return home to great honors and fame. That is very hoochie woochie. Muster the choir on deck so they can sing the Glory to Balz march." Bernard stopped chewing on the towel. "The escort is turning." "What did you expect him to do, keep sailing onto the beach?" "But if he's turning and am not turning I'm not following him, because I'm going straight and he is not going straight because he is turning and I'm not turning." Balz turned to me and said, "Bring me a bucket and my umbrella." In a few minutes I returned with the requested items and handed them to our commander. Balz placed the bucket on Bernard's head, and then hit it with the umbrella. "Wasserbomben," Bernard said. Brag's espionage suspense novel novel Kingmaker is only a click away. Check it out! __________________ Espionage, adventure, suspense, are just a click away Click here to look inside Brag's book: Amazon.com: Kingmaker: Alexey Braguine: Books Order Kingmaker here: http://www.subsim.com/store.html For Tactics visit:http://www.freewebs.com/kielman/ Last edited by Brag; 10-25-08 at 11:19 AM.

10-23-08, 04:17 PM	#2
Sailor Steve Eternal Patrol Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: High in the mountains of Utah Posts: 50,369 Downloads: 745 Uploads: 249	I think Bernard needs to move up the ladder slowly. He needs to become 1WO before he can move on. Kalb just got his own command, didn't he? He might need a 'good' first officer. __________________ “Never do anything you can't take back.” —Rocky Russo

10-23-08, 04:29 PM	#3
Task Force Rear Admiral Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: SPACE!!!! Posts: 10,142 Downloads: 85 Uploads: 0	And if the british wernt giving us a hard engh time. Anouther good one Brag. __________________ Task Force industries "Taking control of the world, one mind at a time"

10-23-08, 05:05 PM	#4
bookworm_020 Navy Seal Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Sinking ships off the Australian coast Posts: 5,966 Downloads: 1 Uploads: 0	:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: With Bernard in control of a U-Boat, Germany has no chance! I'm waiting to see how many of the crew put in for a transfer when Bernard is put in charge???:hmm: __________________ "There is always one person in any organization who knows whats going on, That person must be fired"

10-24-08, 09:23 AM	#7
U-46 Commander Lieutenant Join Date: May 2008 Location: The absolutely most exciting state!! Iowa! Posts: 251 Downloads: 53 Uploads: 0	Ah...So my second cousin is going to be in charge of a u-boat eh? Well....good for him. I am suprised that Balz hasn't gotten fired yet. Or maybe he will be soon! And then Bernard will be in charge of his boat!! MUHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! KptLt. Bernard Von Awful Arch Rival of J.S. Balz and all around nasty guy.(I sink everything! ) __________________ "Loved By Few, Hated By Many, Respected By All."-The U-boats.

10-23-08, 09:39 PM	#5
TarJak Fleet Admiral Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Sydney, Australia Posts: 17,052 Downloads: 150 Uploads: 8	Bernard gets put in charge of a U-boat every time I sit down to play the game.

10-24-08, 12:25 PM	#8
Schroeder Navy Seal Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Banana Republic of Germany Posts: 6,170 Downloads: 62 Uploads: 0	I think with Bernard in charge the Royal Navy will be defeated. Bernard will surely take out entire convoys just by accident. __________________ Putting Germ back into Germany.

10-24-08, 02:12 PM	#9
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,464 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	__________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

10-24-08, 02:20 PM	#10
Task Force Rear Admiral Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: SPACE!!!! Posts: 10,142 Downloads: 85 Uploads: 0	Thats a real good picture of you jumbuna.:rotfl: __________________ Task Force industries "Taking control of the world, one mind at a time"

10-24-08, 02:44 PM	#11
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,464 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	I wish it were of you __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

10-25-08, 01:50 PM	#13
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,464 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	LOL __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

10-25-08, 07:55 PM	#14
Graf Paper Ace of the Deep Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Pacific Northwest United States Posts: 1,146 Downloads: 41 Uploads: 2	Where would we be without you, Brag? It makes my day every time you publish an entry from the Leutnant's journal! It would be fantastic if you could compile all of the Balz/Bernard stories into a single volume for everyone's reading enjoyment. __________________ Still sailing the high seas, hunting convoys with those who join me.

10-25-08, 08:38 PM	#15
Brag Navy Seal Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Docked on a Russian pond Posts: 7,072 Downloads: 2 Uploads: 0	Thanks for the kind words, Graf. Lately, I 've been writing the stuff in word and have a Balz file. Something resembling a Balz book might be in the making. Balz is becoming popular outside Subsim. I'm now posting a link to the current Balz story on a Washington Post Blog. Been getting nice comments from the "civilian" population. __________________ Espionage, adventure, suspense, are just a click away Click here to look inside Brag's book: Amazon.com: Kingmaker: Alexey Braguine: Books Order Kingmaker here: http://www.subsim.com/store.html For Tactics visit:http://www.freewebs.com/kielman/