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Old 06-07-08, 05:53 PM   #1
Brag
Navy Seal
 
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Report from U-45 (Balz)

Lt. Kalb writes:

We had a pretty good beginning on this patrol, sank several ships while transiting the Fair Isle Passage and had to interrupt choir practice a couple of times. This upsets Balz, who prefers sinking ships without interrupting the choir.

We then headed southwest and Balz began pacing the Zentralle wearing bunny slippers and the bowler hat lined with lead foil.
"I'm concentrating," Balz said. Somewhere near is where Big Boy Wooly of department GWX of the British Admiralty has routed big freighters. After two days he took a wooden astrolabe to the bridge.

"Why don't you use the sextant?" I asked.
"Columbus found the new world with an astrolabe. I will find BBW's ships with it, too." He aimed the astrolabe at the sun and mumbled. He repeated the operation again and again, and again.
"There! Einz, zwei, hoochie-woochie. Sehror thiefe."
No sooner was the hydrophone underwater, we got a contact. Half hour later a large freighter was sinking.
Six hours later we sunk a medium freighter just before choir practice. For three days we sank two ships per day. And that was it. The magic source of ships dried up.
A week later we ran into a convoy. Got into perfect attack position to discover Bernard forgot to reload the torpedo tubes.
We fired our one torpedo and sank a whale factory ship.

Kptlt. Johan Sebastian Balz writes:

To BDU
U-45
07 Dezember 1939

Dear Admiral,
Kindly polish up a great speech to greet me on my return to Wilhelmshaffen and don't forget to bring medals to the dock.

Thanks to my significant powers of deduction and great seamanship skills, I sank 2 tankers and 11 freighters to a total of 63,000 BRT. Been unable to use the outside storage torpedoes due to weather. I will dedicate a hoochie-woochie song to you when you give me a Ritterkreuz.

Kptlt. Johan Sebastian Balz.
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Old 06-09-08, 09:05 AM   #2
NealT
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Here's hoping someone gets laryngitis.

:rotfl:
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