Sorry, but I have to inflict this upon you all...

jumpy · 03-10-08, 12:16 PM

Quote:

An interview with an 80-year-old woman

The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married -- for the fourth time.

The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation.

"He's a funeral director," she answered.

"Interesting," the newsman thought.

He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living.

She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years. After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she first married a banker when she was in her early 20's, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40's, later on a preacher when in her 60's, and now in her 80's, a funeral director.

The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers.
She smiled and explained, "I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go."

I read this on another forum and thought it was so bad that I just had to share it.

Wolfehunter · 03-10-08, 12:20 PM

:rotfl: Very rich...good one.

03-10-08, 12:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jumpy

Quote:

An interview with an 80-year-old woman
She smiled and explained, "I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go."

I read this on another forum and thought it was so bad that I just had to share it.

silentrunner · 03-10-08, 02:00 PM

:rotfl::rotfl:

Brag · 03-10-08, 02:56 PM

It is bad, very bad, very, very BAD. Aaaaarrgghh

. This called inflicting heavy damage. Can I copy it, huh, huh?

03-10-08, 04:42 PM

*oh gods ,facepalms* :rotfl:

Overboard · 03-10-08, 04:57 PM

Super funny :rotfl: Thanks made my day!

stabiz · 03-10-08, 05:39 PM

Sailor Steve · 03-10-08, 07:24 PM

Well, Brag stole the words right out of my mouth. It's so

it

. That makes it :rotfl: and

, and maybe even

.

d@rk51d3 · 03-10-08, 07:39 PM

:rotfl:

bookworm_020 · 03-10-08, 08:39 PM

I'll see your joke and raise you a laugh,

The Red Corvette

A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Red
Corvette convertible out of the dealership.

Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph,
enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.

"Amazing!" he thought as he flew down I-95, pushing
the pedal to the metal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw the highway
patrol behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring.

"I can get away from him. No problem!" Thought the
elderly gent as he floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120 mph.

Suddenly, he thought, "What on earth am I doing? I'm
too old for this nonsense!"

He then pulled over to the side of the road and
waited for the Trooper to catch up.

Pulling in behind him, the Trooper walked up to the
driver's side of the Corvette, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my
shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give
me a reason why you were
speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."

The man, looking very seriously at the Trooper, said, "Years
ago, my wife ran off with a
Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."

"Have a good day, Sir," said the Trooper.

Sailor Steve · 03-10-08, 08:48 PM

:rotfl:
I've heard that one too, but not for a very long time.

Sailor Steve · 03-10-08, 10:58 PM

A friend of mine just sent me this:

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello. He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says, "Do you know me? To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids."

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???"

She looks into his eyes and says calmly, "No, I'm your son's teacher."

Platapus · 03-11-08, 08:06 AM

Puns in the forums!

We are taking damage Captain!

03-10-08, 12:20 PM	#2
Wolfehunter Crusty Capt. Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 2,752 Downloads: 40 Uploads: 25	:rotfl: Very rich...good one. __________________

03-10-08, 02:00 PM	#4
silentrunner Watch Officer Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Mind your own business English Types Posts: 334 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	:rotfl::rotfl: __________________

03-10-08, 02:56 PM	#5
Brag Navy Seal Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Docked on a Russian pond Posts: 7,072 Downloads: 2 Uploads: 0	It is bad, very bad, very, very BAD. Aaaaarrgghh . This called inflicting heavy damage. Can I copy it, huh, huh? __________________ Espionage, adventure, suspense, are just a click away Click here to look inside Brag's book: Amazon.com: Kingmaker: Alexey Braguine: Books Order Kingmaker here: http://www.subsim.com/store.html For Tactics visit:http://www.freewebs.com/kielman/

03-10-08, 05:39 PM	#8
stabiz Silent Hunter Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Norway Posts: 4,224 Downloads: 14 Uploads: 0	__________________

03-10-08, 07:24 PM	#9
Sailor Steve Eternal Patrol Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: High in the mountains of Utah Posts: 50,369 Downloads: 745 Uploads: 249	Well, Brag stole the words right out of my mouth. It's so it . That makes it :rotfl: and , and maybe even . __________________ “Never do anything you can't take back.” —Rocky Russo

03-10-08, 04:42 PM	#6
darius359au Stowaway Posts: n/a Downloads: Uploads:	oh gods ,facepalms :rotfl:

03-10-08, 04:57 PM	#7
Overboard Medic Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 164 Downloads: 124 Uploads: 0	Super funny :rotfl: Thanks made my day!

03-10-08, 07:39 PM	#10
d@rk51d3 Sea Lord Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Adelaide, South Australia Posts: 1,952 Downloads: 207 Uploads: 0	:rotfl:

03-10-08, 08:39 PM	#11
bookworm_020 Navy Seal Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Sinking ships off the Australian coast Posts: 5,966 Downloads: 1 Uploads: 0	I'll see your joke and raise you a laugh, The Red Corvette A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Red Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. "Amazing!" he thought as he flew down I-95, pushing the pedal to the metal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw the highway patrol behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. "I can get away from him. No problem!" Thought the elderly gent as he floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120 mph. Suddenly, he thought, "What on earth am I doing? I'm too old for this nonsense!" He then pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the Trooper to catch up. Pulling in behind him, the Trooper walked up to the driver's side of the Corvette, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go." The man, looking very seriously at the Trooper, said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back." "Have a good day, Sir," said the Trooper. __________________ "There is always one person in any organization who knows whats going on, That person must be fired"

03-10-08, 08:48 PM	#12
Sailor Steve Eternal Patrol Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: High in the mountains of Utah Posts: 50,369 Downloads: 745 Uploads: 249	:rotfl: I've heard that one too, but not for a very long time. __________________ “Never do anything you can't take back.” —Rocky Russo

03-10-08, 10:58 PM	#13
Sailor Steve Eternal Patrol Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: High in the mountains of Utah Posts: 50,369 Downloads: 745 Uploads: 249	A friend of mine just sent me this: A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello. He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says, "Do you know me? To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids." Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???" She looks into his eyes and says calmly, "No, I'm your son's teacher." __________________ “Never do anything you can't take back.” —Rocky Russo

03-11-08, 08:06 AM	#14
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 19,379 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	Puns in the forums! We are taking damage Captain! __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.