Balz Spills The Beans!

[Brag]

The Sunshine International Tabloid (S****) Interviews Johan Sebastian Balz The Greatest Hero of WWII.

The interview took place in Destructor Hall, a country estate surrounded by minefields and guarded by ferocious Space Hamzters. A Space Hamzter is about half the size of Steed standing on his soap box.

Wearing a tea cozy, Balz greets us at the portico of the mansion and leads us to the back of the property where we descend into Brag's writing cave.

Chained to their computer stations, seven dwarfs sit in front of keyboards typing to the rythm of a fat Roman galley drummer.

"They are working on Brag's next book." Balz says.
We enter a chamber that resembles a submarine and take seats around an old U-boat table.

SST: How do you like the great role Brag has given you in WWII?
Balz: I hate the role, I hate that bastard Brag.
SST: Why is that?
Balz: I like Hoochie-woochie singing and dancing. And what does the bastard do? He slaps me right in the middle of trouble, instead of performing in a theatre to British applause, the Brits are trying to kill me. Brag is a sadist. He treats all his characters that way.
Look what he has done to Trager, a perfectly decent fellow. He sends Trager into big, big trouble where practically everyone is trying to kill him.
SST: But he provides him with a beautiful babe, doesn't he?
Balz: She's major trouble.
As if reminesing, Balz lapses into silence. We listen to the rythmic accelerated clacking of keboards.
Balz: They are writing an action scene now. When the dwarfs giggle, it means they are writing a sex scene.
SST: Do you want to be in Brag's next book?
Balz: No way! I'm a magnificent and brilliant Kaleun who has found a nice home in Subsim. It is very hoochie-woochie.