Is The Balz Magic over?

[Brag]

Lt.z.S. Otto Kalb writes:

U-502
06 January 1942
400 Kms. South of Canaries

We should be in warm seas and bright sunshine. Instead, we have typical North Atlantic weather, wind, rain fog. We do a periodic dive and get a sound contact. In a nearly flawless intercept Capt. Balz announces it's a large American cargo, but we're too close to fire.

We surface behind the merchant and fire a magnetic from 300 meters. "Good shot," Balz tells me as the torpedo rips the American's innards and bring it to a halt.

We stop our engines and wait for the target to sink. I suggest firing another torpedo.

"Man, you're crazy." Balz unfolds his umbrella and lights a cigar.

We wait, it gets dark, we loose sight of the Yank. Back to PD. We hear the ship and wait for it to sink. By morning, Balz says. I guess this blighter won't sink without a magic Balz shot."

He places a torpedo near the bow. 2 hours later, with bow awash, the American still floats. Fuming, Balz fires another eel, it explodes on the side of hold number two. 2 hours later, the bastard is still afloat.

It took six torpedoes and 26 hours to sink the ship. Thoroughly depressed, Balz retired to his bunk, mumbling, "Kein hoochie woochie, kein hoochie, woochie."

The following day, for breakfast, Balz appeared wearing his silk pajamas and a crimson sash wrapped around his bath robe and a cutlass stuck into the sash.

"What's that for?" I asked.

"I'm the incarnation of Sandokan, the famous Malay pirate and greatest seaman in the history of anti-imperialism." He pulled the cutlass out and waved it, almost loping Bernard's ear off. "Wait and see what happens when we see another enemy ship. Give my regards to Broadway, you Allied bastards. Hoochie woochie boom boom."