The Bernard Mystery - Solved

Rykaird · 03-16-07, 03:57 PM

How can Bernard inflict such mayhem, cause such destruction, and yet remain in the Kriegsmarine? Why didn't they just kill Gilligan? Well, don't know about the second question, but found the answer to the first.

My Dad (now in his seventies, bless his soul) and I were discussing Clint Eastwood films, and he mentioned how he enjoyed the WWII action film "Where Eagles Dare." I said I had not seen it. He rose in a towering rage, and banished me into the outer darkness, there to walk without light or hope until I had redeemed myself by watching the film.

So, rather than spend an eternity wailing and gnashing my teeth, I went to Best Buy, picked up the film, and tossed it in the DVD player. Awesome flick.

Anyway, at one point, the Richard Burton character has just finished chatting with (and getting slapped by) the oh-so-wonderfully-delicious Heidi (played by the great Hammer Films horror queen, Ingrid Pitt). Another officer challenges him on his behavior, and he says with the menace only a trained Shakespearean actor can muster:

"My name is Bernard Himmler. Does that name mean anything to you?"

The Clint Eastwood character, watching from across the room, later asks Burton what he said to the officer to shake him up so much. Burton replies coolly "I told him I was Himmler's brother."

And thus, gentleman, the mystery has been solved. Now you know why, despite having personally been responsible for thousands of German deaths and many a sunken U-Boat, that Bernard has escaped punishment. Nepotism.

Oh, and Heidi is way hot. Did I mention that she's hot? Hot, hot, hot. Hot with a side helping of hot. Thank you. Oh, and she's hot.

03-16-07, 03:57 PM	#1
Rykaird Weps Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 356 Downloads: 36 Uploads: 0	The Bernard Mystery - Solved How can Bernard inflict such mayhem, cause such destruction, and yet remain in the Kriegsmarine? Why didn't they just kill Gilligan? Well, don't know about the second question, but found the answer to the first. My Dad (now in his seventies, bless his soul) and I were discussing Clint Eastwood films, and he mentioned how he enjoyed the WWII action film "Where Eagles Dare." I said I had not seen it. He rose in a towering rage, and banished me into the outer darkness, there to walk without light or hope until I had redeemed myself by watching the film. So, rather than spend an eternity wailing and gnashing my teeth, I went to Best Buy, picked up the film, and tossed it in the DVD player. Awesome flick. Anyway, at one point, the Richard Burton character has just finished chatting with (and getting slapped by) the oh-so-wonderfully-delicious Heidi (played by the great Hammer Films horror queen, Ingrid Pitt). Another officer challenges him on his behavior, and he says with the menace only a trained Shakespearean actor can muster: "My name is Bernard Himmler. Does that name mean anything to you?" The Clint Eastwood character, watching from across the room, later asks Burton what he said to the officer to shake him up so much. Burton replies coolly "I told him I was Himmler's brother." And thus, gentleman, the mystery has been solved. Now you know why, despite having personally been responsible for thousands of German deaths and many a sunken U-Boat, that Bernard has escaped punishment. Nepotism. Oh, and Heidi is way hot. Did I mention that she's hot? Hot, hot, hot. Hot with a side helping of hot. Thank you. Oh, and she's hot.