The Perfect U-boat Commander

[Sailor Steve]

Louis will keep 'em in line. And if that doesn't work, he'll round up three times the usual suspects!

[Missing Name]

I somehow missed this thread. HOW?

[Jimbuna]

Originally Posted by Missing Name

I somehow missed this thread. HOW?

Blasphemy!!

[Gerald]

Originally Posted by jimbuna

Blasphemy!!

Behave yourself now,

[Jimbuna]

Always try to

[Gerald]

Originally Posted by jimbuna

Always try to

A man in your position, I understand that it is difficult

[Sailor Steve]

Originally Posted by Missing Name

I somehow missed this thread. HOW?

How many other Balz threads have you missed? Of course you can't know what you haven't seen, but there are many dozens awaiting your perusal.

[Missing Name]

I've read a bunch of the old stories. I think I first started reading at "Romance on Shore Leave." I've read all of the Balz stories up to his retirement.

My question is: Will Schramm whip the crew up into shape, or will he be taken up by the curse of the hoochie woochie first?

[Brag]

The vultures had already settled for the night. They sat on derricks, on the masts of ships on top of warehouses. They had even displaced the sea gulls who normally lined up the breakwater.

"There are vultures everywhere," Haji Baba Jimbuna remarked as he watched the sleek shadow of U-321 slide into the harbor.
"A harbinger of doom," Ali Baba grumbled. "There are more vultures here than in a Zoroastrian City of the Dead."

U-321 made fast to Dock 13. Spread from a raised periscope to a bow stanchion a sign read: Whale watching trips. The crew filed out of the U-boat and Haji Baba Jimbuna gave each man a fez.

The crew quickly fell into formation and goose stepped toward Rick´s Bar Americaine. To reinforce their cover of Egyptian sailors theu sang the march from Aida.


# # #

Inside Rick's the cigarette girl ambled among the clients, hawking her wares. "Passports, fresh passports."
Zailer Zteve placed his glass of grenadine on the bar. "Miss, I would like a Utah passport.
Confusion clouded the girl´s face. "Do battle ships issue passports?"
"It's a state."
"Ah, a state. Are you in a state?"
"I am not in a state, I am in Casablanca."
"Tonight we have a special on German passports, freshly stolen by the Forty Thieves."
"I haff a German pazport." Zailer Zteve reached into his pocket, felt for his passport--It was gone.


More intrigue coming soon, stay alert and tuned in.

[Jimbuna]

[Brag]

Frau Kaleun entered Rick's and approached the piano. "Hello Sam-" she smiled.
Sam stopped aimlessly plunking the keys and sighed. "Hello Frau K, a lot of time has gone by."
Frau K sighed. "Yes, and I brought all my baggage with me.
Sam sighed, "One accumulates a lot of baggage as time goes by."
Frau K sighed. "Play that song, Sam."
"What song?"
Frau K sighed. "As Time Goes By, have you forgot the song?"
"As time goes by one forgets a lot of songs." Sam sighed.

Rick watched the bar fill up, it looked like a profitable night coming up. A mob of sailors wearing Fezzes marched in.
"With all the gin joints in the world these German louts have to march into here. And I was preparing to do some serious sighing."
"Passports, fresh passports."
"Not tonight, darling," Rick shook his head.
The cigarette girl drifted off pouting.
Rick watched. Louis Le Flic in an impeccable white boozing uniform enter the club. "Of all the gin joints in this world Louis has to follow his usual suspects here," he said to the barman.
The barman sniffed the air. "I smell trouble."


The plot thickens shortly, stay tuned

[Herr-Berbunch]

Originally Posted by Brag

Frau Kaleun entered Rick's and approached the piano. "Hello Sam-" she smiled.
Sam stopped aimlessly plunking the keys and sighed. "Hello Frau K, a lot of time has gone by."
Frau K sighed. "Yes, and I brought all my baggage with me.
Sam sighed, "One accumulates a lot of baggage as time goes by."
Frau K sighed. "Play that song, Sam."
"What song?"
Frau K sighed. "As Time Goes By, have you forgot the song?"
"As time goes by one forgets a lot of songs." Sam sighed.

Rick watched the bar fill up, it looked like a profitable night coming up. A mob of sailors wearing Fezzes marched in.
"With all the gin joints in the world these German louts have to march into here. And I was preparing to do some serious sighing."
"Passports, fresh passports."
"Not tonight, darling," Rick shook his head.
The cigarette girl drifted off pouting.
Rick watched. Louis Le Flic in an impeccable white boozing uniform enter the club. "Of all the gin joints in this world Louis has to follow his usual suspects here," he said to the barman.
The barman sniffed the air. "I smell trouble."


The plot thickens shortly, stay tuned

I'm tuned, I'm tuned

[Rhodes]

I can ear Rick saying all that with a H. Bogart accent!

[VONHARRIS]

I have a question : Who is leading the team that went ashore : Kaleun Schramm or Bernard himself?

Imagine that : A bunch of tall white men dressed in grey leather suits each one with a fez on his head goosewalking in hoochie woochie formation!

[Brag]

A man wearing a burgundy smoking jacket, a chestfull of medals and something strange on his head paused by the front door. Rick rushed toward him. "Hey Mister, proper attire is required in my joint. Get out!
"Out? Out?
"Yes, out, Come back when properly attired."
The man took Rick by the lapels. "I am wearing a smoking jacket and you are wearing le smoking thinking it is the New York tuxedo and I wear the greatest collection of bazaar medals and an impeccably white chicken boozing tea cozy.
Sam came over. "Rick, that´s Captain Balz. The king of the U-boats booming and kabooming Limies on the Atlantic."
"Ah," Rick said. and turned toward the orchestra. "Play that Boom song and tell Charlie to sing."
He then shook hands with Balz. "Welcome, of all the gin joints in the world you had to come to this one."