The Perfect U-boat Commander
 

09 September 1941
Lorient, France.

As he marched toward his boat, Capt. Leutnant Schramm was sure his tailor was the best. Fresh out of the cleaners and perfectly pressed, his uniform fit better than Doenitz's.

The grey block of submarine pens hummed with activity. Tractors towed torpedo racks, welders sent flares of sparks. Pipe fitters banged on metal parts. A large diesel motor travelled suspended from an overhead crane.

On reaching Berth #6, Schram stopped and admired U-321. His boat gleamed with fresh paint, there wasn't one microscopic speck of rust on it. Schramm considered the U-boot Waffe as most disgraceful. On going through the hatch it was like leaving the Kriegsmarine and entering a hell hole for outcasts.

Now, that he had his own command, this has changed. He had requested working parties from the Schtraff batallion who had thoroughly cleaned out the bilges. The crew were provided with new matresses, the inside of the ship scrubbed from stem to stern.

Schram smiled. He had the best looking boat in the Navy. After twenty days of hard work, the boat and crew were ready to perform their duty.


Hr went down the gangplank.
The first WO saluted and called the crew, formed on the afterdeck, to attention.

The crew twirled and presented arms.

"What was that?" Schramm demanded, not believing his eyes.

" That was the twirl and present arms, Herr Kaleun."

"There is nothing like that in the Naval Drill Manual!"

"No, but it is very hoochie woochie."

Schramm took a deep breath. He would deal with this twit later.

"Männer," he started.
The crew twirled.
Schramm thought his temples would explode. He looked at his watch to insure he was awake.

To be continued. :D

OMG is this a Balz prequel?!?!?!? :woot:

Possibly a spin-off...:hmmm:

This happens after Balz left command of U-321:D

Someone else has been assigned Balz's old 1WO, maybe.

I really thought maybe we were going to see Balz in his pre-commander days, but Brag did say he was done with the character.

At any rate it appears the hoochie woochie is not so easily done away with. :D

Balz before WWII is buried in the back pages of the SH3 forum. (He was a pirate and helped sell Hitler´s postcards in Munich

But his legacy is still there, and an upright, uptight "proper" captain is going to have to deal with it.

Good luck with that. :dead:

I am eagerly awaiting the moment when the new commander begins his first attack run and turns around from the 'scope momentarily only to find his 1WO standing there grinning from ear to ear and holding out a pink bunny tea cosy. :yep:

Sounds like Balz left Bernard on the boat http://www.psionguild.org/forums/ima...lies/wacko.gif

Sounds like brag is having a clean out.:D

Spring cleaning is of course a well-known expression :O:

I missed the ending of Balz so I've just revisited - driving a desk in Flensburg :o! At least his tea will be kept warm and, ahem, cosy!

Looking forward to Schramm and his grip on the hoochie-woochie crew :D

The officers sat down for lunch. Every once in a while, Bernard had to get up to let a sailor twirl by.
"Can´t they just walk by like normal people?." Schramm asked.
"it gives them maneuvering elasticity," Lt. Metzler said, "and it loosens vocal cords. You will see that when you hold choir practice."
"Ummm, when I hold choir practice?"
"Yes, Herr Kaleun. Some day we will sing on Broadway."
"Your optimism is most engaging."
Kookie brought a soup tourine covered with a turkey tea cozy.
"How very original," Schramm said.
"Voila le soupe." Kookie removed the cozy with a flourish, tipping the tourine over and spilling soup on Bernard´s lap.
Bernard jumped from his seat yelling, "Ay yay yay yay."
Metzler sang,"Canta y no llores.
The crew spilled out of the forward compartment twirling and singing , "porque cantando, Cielito lindo, se alegran los corazones."
Bernard used the tea cozy to mop up the deck. He then squeezed soup out of it into Schramm's plate.
Schramm chequed his pulse and counted 'til ten.

:rotfl2:

Brilliant use of an old classic! :rock:

For those not in the know:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7AWb3eShEo

Sehr Gut! Das story es muy divertido! Mas! Mas!

Pardon my Spangermish.